


Severus Snape and the Art of War

by CypressWand



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cokeworth, Death Eaters, Diagon Alley, F/M, Godric's Hollow, Hogwarts, Horcruxes, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Other, Ottery St. Catchpole, Prophecy, Snily, The Burrow (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-02-16 19:37:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 249
Words: 516,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18697885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CypressWand/pseuds/CypressWand
Summary: After his death, Severus makes the decision to return to the world of the living, starting in the summer of 1975. With his adult knowledge on the upcoming war hidden inside his 15 year old body, he finds his way back to Lily, and his new position in the wizarding world.[Story related warnings can be seen on the first page. NO character bashing!]





	1. The Goldfish of Horace Slughorn

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains:  
> \- sexual content  
> \- Drug use  
> \- Violent scenes, including abuse  
> \- Swearing  
> \- A ton of 70s rock references that fit specifically within that time period  
> \- Historical facts mixed into the story  
> \- A slow and natural relationship progression  
> \- A slow start. The story really starts rolling after the first 20 chapters  
> \- War related PTSD
> 
> This story does NOT contain:  
> \- Character bashing  
> \- Rape scenes  
> \- Gore
> 
> Extra:  
> \- English is not my native language and therefore it is almost inevitable that you'll sometimes encounter a word or a sentence structure written in a silly way. I try my best to avoid them and have other people read them before I put any chapters up. Keep in mind that even Rowling, who had a whole professional team of linguistic nerds behind her, still ended up with errors in her published work.

'Look…at…me…'

The green eyes that had once belonged to Lily were staring intently into his own.

Was it concern he saw in those eyes? Pity?

Why the fuck does it even matter.

The snake's venom was coursing through his veins, bathing his broken body in an invisible fire that reminded him of the Cruciatus Curse. A curse he had often felt under the hands of the Dark Lord. The pain had been nothing compared to Lily's death. The pain meant nothing to him now.

Memories had started to pour out of him as he felt the cold glass of a potion vial being pressed against his face. He could only hope that Potter's spawn was smart enough to understand the importance of the memories he was giving to him.

Not that any of it mattered anymore. The boy was bound to die soon. It had been both a blessing and a curse to once again be the carrier of bad news. How oxymoronic that he had to do it once more in the final moments of his own death. As if death was his life's legacy spread out like some disgusting venereal disease.

He closed his eyes. His mind was slipping out of consciousness. He was no longer aware of the three students who were kneeling beside him, trying in a feeble attempt to stop the wound on his neck from bleeding. The blood had already filled his lungs, stained his hands, and tainted his mind.

...

How strange? He had expected complete darkness to surround him, but instead everything was bright. Was there an afterlife after all?

If he could have groaned, he would have. The last thing he wished for was a continuation of his already miserable existence.

His eyes had started to adjust to the light, and the first thing that appeared in front of his eyes was…a fishbowl?

He rolled with his eyes and let out a sigh. Not his mother, nor some divine being, or even bloody Dumbledore himself had appeared to guide his way. Instead, he was stranded and abandoned in some unknown ethereal place with a fucking fish—goldfish?  
His skepticism had turned into curiosity. He placed his hands around the bowl. The bowl seemed much larger in his hands than he initially thought it was. Or were his hands somehow smaller than before?

'Pip?' he whispered to the little fish. 'Is that you?'

'I see you found Francis!' said a jolly, familiar voice behind him.

Severus nearly dropped the bowl, catching it just before it shattered onto the floor. Before him stood a much taller, and much younger looking version of…

'Professor Slughorn?' his voice sounded small to him. Child-like even.

'Ah, yes my dear boy. It is good to see you again.' Slughorn patted him reassuringly on the shoulder. He looked up at the professor, clutching tightly onto the bowl, not wanting to risk another near accident.

'Sir, where are we?' Once again, his voice sounded small. For a second he wondered why, but he couldn't be bothered with such questions for now.

Slughorn smiled at him, 'I think it would be easier if you told me where we are.'

The light started to fade out before them, and he found himself standing by a riverbank.

Slughorn looked around as if he wasn't quite sure what he was looking at. 'Where did you say we were, Severus?'

'Cokeworth's riverbank along the Thames. I grew up here.'  
Slughorn's face fell at the sight of it.  
The bank was in the same poor disheveled state as Severus remembered it. Dirty and slick from all the waste that the factory produced on the opposite side of the river.

'Of all places, why this one?' Slughorn asked.

'I used to come down here all the time with…' He bit his lip and looked down at the goldfish in his arms. Pip had been a Christmas gift from Lily. The very first Christmas gift he had ever been given. She had told him it was to keep him company on the days that she was not around. Having Pip around had been a great comfort.

'Would you like to sit down?' Slughorn gave him a compassionate look, as if he understood what was going through his mind.

They sat underneath an oak tree. The same one where he and Lily had so often sat together, hiding from the hot summer sun. He placed the fishbowl in front of him on the grass and looked at it for a while, trying to let everything sink in.

'I thought it was Francis for a moment,' Slughorn said eventually, 'but now I see that it isn't.'

'Who was Francis?' Severus asked.

'A fish Lily had given me, after she found out my wife had passed away.' Slughorn looked longingly at Severus's fish. 'I found a bowl on my desk one morning, with just a little bit of water in it. On the surface was a petal of a lily. As I watched, it sank, and before it reached the bottom it transformed into a wee little fish.' Tears had sprung in his eyes as he recalled the memory. 'Did this little one die too, on the night that Lily…'

Severus shook his head. A lump had started to form in his throat. 'Pip died the summer after my OWLs, at the hands of my father.'

He couldn't quite believe himself. After years of dealing with death and despair, he was starting to feel sentimental over a stupid goldfish.

'Did you die too, in the battle?' Severus said to turn the conversation.

Slughorn nodded. 'I don't mind so much though. I've lived a long and happy life, unlike you.'

'I wasn't asking for your pity,' Severus sneered.

Slughorn ignored his remark. 'You and Lily. I know that as a teacher you are not supposed to have favourites, but the two of you made quite an amusing couple.'

Severus rolled his eyes. 'Lily and I were never a couple.'

'You two sure acted like one,' Slughorn chuckled. 'Just like my wife and I used to be. She was a Gryffindor girl too, just like Lily was.' Slugorn closed his eyes as if he was trying to recollect himself.

'It broke my heart to see how your friendship with her had shattered. I would've liked to see you marry her. You seemed right for each other.'

'Little late for that, isn't it?' Severus asked sarcastically.

'Not quite Severus, not quite.'

'What the hell is that supposed to mean?'

'It means you have a choice Severus. You can either move on, like I did, or go back and set things right.'

'I don't quite understand.'

'It means, Severus, if you don't mind me quoting William Blake here, that in the universe there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between there are doors.'

Severus contemplated for a moment, trying to process the information he had been given. 'Why would I want to go back to that bloody war? Haven't I done enough already?'

'Who said anything about going back to the war, Severus?'

'My whole life revolved around this war,' Severus's voice rose. 'What difference would it make?'

'As I said,' Slughorn responded calmly, 'it is not the war you would go back to.'

'My mother is gone. Lily is gone. Hell, even most of my Death Eater friends are gone. I have nothing left to go back to.'

'You have everything to go back to Severus, because you have a choice.'

Severus frowned. 'I still don't quite understand.'

'Follow me.' Slughorn got up and walked to the edge of the river while Severus followed suit.

'Look at yourself.' Slughorn pointed at the calmly flowing river.

As far as the troubled water allowed, Severus' reflection showed the face of a young man, rather than the worn and sallow face he had grown accustomed to.  
It was also the first time he noticed that he was wearing an oversized brown shirt along with shabby looking jeans. Things he hadn't worn since he was a teenager.

He looked up at Slughorn. 'What will happen to me, if I go back?'

Slughorn shook his head. 'Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you. This is your choice, and your choice alone to make.'

'I need some time to think.'

Slughorn nodded in understanding and sat back down by the oak tree, looking contently at the little goldfish.

He had the chance to go back. To see Lily again. To see his mother again. He could even change the course of history.

A leaf had fallen off the oak tree and landed gently in front of him on the surface of the river, leaving small ripples as it drifted off down the stream. All it took was to change a single deed. A single word. A single thought.

He turned around to look at Slughorn, who was now cradling the bowl in his hands.

'How do I go back professor?' Severus asked.

Slughorn looked pleased. 'If you wish to come with me, all you need to do is step though the clearing, but if you wish to go back, you will have to step into the river.'

Severus groaned. 'I can't swim.'

'You're not supposed to.'  
His gaze was locked onto that of his old professor. 'Are you telling me that I need to drown?'

'Dying is as easy as falling asleep. Living however,' Slughorn raised his shoulders, 'not so much.'

'Fucking fantastic,' Severus scorned. 'Here I am, barely dead for an hour, only to die another painful death in order to live again.'

Slughorn laughed. 'It does seem a bit oxymoronic doesn't it?'

Severus stood up, drew a deep breath, and exhaled. 'Take good care of Pip for me, will you?'

'Are you sure you don't want to take her with you?'

'Fish don't drown now do they?'

Slughorn laughed and looked delighted. 'Of course, my dear boy. I think my wife would love her very much.'

Without another glance back, Severus waded into the cold water. He was already waist deep when Slughorn called out to him, 'Severus.'

He looked around to see the man standing at the edge of the clearing, the fishbowl tucked underneath one arm. 'If you see me, the other me, please do go to one of his parties, will you? He does like having you around.'

Severus nodded, 'I promise.'

With a small wave, Slughorn disappeared though the clearing.  
Severus marched in all the way until his feet no longer touched the bottom of the river and allowed himself to let the stream carry him away.  
He exhaled, squeezing as much air from his lungs as he possibly could, and sank under the surface of the water. A natural response of panic arose inside of him, but he suppressed it by letting memories of the past flow through him as he slowly sank to the bottom.

The squeezing sensation in his chest felt painful as his lungs hungered for oxygen, but the pain released as soon as he slipped out of consciousness.

Death through drowning wasn't so bad after all.

 


	2. Hearing the Heart Speak through Gestures of the Hands

Within a flash Severus sat up straight, gasping for breath as if he had woken up from a terrible nightmare. Cold sweat was dripping off his forehead. He had awoken on the bed of his old bedroom. The musty old scent of dust filled his nostrils. It stank, but it smelled familiar all the same.

Everything was as he had remembered it from when he was a teenager. Every crack on the gray, cobwebbed walls, every creak of his stained old mattress. Even the quill scratches on his plywood desk were exactly the same. The only noticeable difference was that his bedside table was empty. A place where normally his fishbowl, along with a pile of books, would have stood.

The only thing in the room that didn't look old and neglected was a black bass guitar, along with a small amp, standing proudly in the corner of his room. The black of his bass and mirror pick guard shimmered brightly compared to everything else that was his old personal hellhole.

He recalled selling his bass after graduating from Hogwarts, no longer having any desire to make music. It was a thing he had done with Lily, and without her, there had been no joy in it.

He got out of the creaking bed and checked himself in the mirror pick guard of his bass. The brown shirt and worn jeans were the same as he had worn in limbo. He could barely recall what it was like to wear something that wasn't entirely black. Then again, he had been wearing black since he was able to afford his own clothes.

His hair was longer and his face thinner. A small stubble had started to form on his chin. How old was he now? Fifteen?

The worst age a man could possibly be he thought to himself grudgingly. Getting the chance to live life all over again, and still receive the arse end of the deal.

The loud clanking sound of a pan hitting the stove broke his thought process. Speaking of arse ends, if his mother was currently cooking something in the kitchen, his father couldn't be far away either.  
A part of him wanted to run down the stairs, but a bigger part of him made him stay put.

After living a life of abuse and isolation had eventually driven her to a point of madness, Eileen had taken her own life. He knew exactly how and why she died. For a split second, he wished his adult memories had disappeared along with his adult body, but he understood that without his future, he could not change his past.

The scent of bacon and eggs traveled up the staircase and made his stomach growl.

He had to do it. He had to go down and see her again. With a heavy heart he descended down the rickety staircase and turned the corner into the kitchen.

And there she was, wearing a long wide green skirt with a purple button-up blouse. Her lack of height was made up for by her Scottish stoutness. Severus had inherited very little of her physical features, but most of her personality.

She was clinking the wooden spatula hard against the edge of the frying pan as she finished cooking.

Severus stomped with his foot on the floor to get her attention. She looked up, put on a wide smile and signed 'good morning' with a swift motion of her arm.

'Good morning mother,' said Severus, glad that she was a skilled lip reader. It'd been over two decades since he had to use sign language, and he had gotten a little rusty at it.

Eileen curled her hand and motioned towards her mouth. 'Do you want breakfast?'

Severus made a knocking gesture in the air, which meant 'yes.' At least he remembered that much.

Eileen shoved the eggs and bacon onto two plates and placed them on the kitchen table. Severus had a hard time comprehending the bizarreness of it all.

His heart wanted to weep, but his mind suppressed it. To see his mother again, in a rare good mood he might add, wasn't something he wanted to cry over, and so he allowed the situation to unfold before him without interruption.

He sat down opposite her at the kitchen table, and dug into his scrambled eggs.

'You seem troubled,' she signed to him.

'I haven't slept well,' he lied.

'Is it because you are excited for today?'

Severus frowned. 'What's today?'

Eileen flung down her fork and gave him a skeptical look. 'Are you serious?' she signed.

'No, I'm Severus.'

Eileen gave him a playful slap against his arm. 'Don't be cheeky. Have you forgotten what day it is?'

Severus lifted an eyebrow. 'My birthday?' he asked carefully.

'Have you been drinking?' Eileen asked while she shot him a stupid look and pointed out of the window. 'It's summer you dimwit.'

Definitely not his birthday then.

'It's the first of September. You've got your OWLs this year.' Eileen signed two large circles around her eyes at the word OWLs.

'Don't worry mum. I haven't been drinking.'

'Is there anything I need to worry about Severus?'

'Yes, your eggs are getting cold.'

Eileen rolled her eyes. 'You're impossible Severus,' her index fingers crossing as she said it.

'I got that from you,' he said mockingly.

'I haven't seen Lily in a while.' Eileen tossed her hair back in a girly fashion at Lily's name. It had started as an inside joke between them, poking fun at how Lily always tossed her hair back when she got angry about something. It stuck and had been the sign for her name ever since.

Severus shrugged. 'I guess I'll see her on the platform today.'

'Is everything alright between the two of you?'

'You're asking an awful lot of questions mum,' Severus said as he wolfed down some of his bacon.

'That girl is my only hope for grandchildren—'

'Mum!' Severus whined like a proper fifteen-year-old.

Eileen waved it off. 'She's precious Severus,' she said with humble gestures. 'I would hate to see her go.'

To Severus's own shame, he had started to blush. A thing he hadn't done since the day Lily had walked out of his life.

A stifled noise from upstairs brought him back to reality. This time he signed to his mother. 'Is Tobias still home?'

Eileen nodded and bit her lip. 'He's losing hours at work.'

If Severus remembered correctly, Tobias would lose his job at some point this year, and the result had been more than just an empty fridge.

'Would you like to leave early Severus?'

Severus nodded.

Eileen pointed at the living room. 'Your trunk is in there.'

Severus hurried himself to the living room, hoisted up his heavy school trunk and followed his mother out the backdoor and into the garden.

'Got everything?'

He checked for his wand. The only thing that truly mattered and felt it in the back pocket of his jeans.

'Don't you want to bring your bass?'

Shit. He ran back inside and up the staircase. Fortunately, Tobias was still in his own bedroom. He flung the bass into its case and left the amp behind. He wouldn't need that at Hogwarts. He slammed the door of his bedroom behind him.

'Boy!' a low dark voice rumbled from across the hall.

Severus froze. Tobias had stepped out of his bedroom. Severus stood face to face with a much larger, much angrier looking version of himself. The only prominent difference was that his hair was short and graying.

A pool of old seething hatred had started to boil up inside of Severus's chest. 'I'm leaving,' he sneered.

'Tell your mother I'm still expecting breakfast.'

'I'm not telling her shit!' he was tempted to draw his wand and kill the man right where he stood. Years of cool logic and reasoning however, made sure his wand remained inside his pocket.

'Are you fucking back talking me boy?'

'Go fuck yourself,' Severus barked at Tobias while lifting the back of his hand and sticking up two fingers.

Before Tobias could respond, Severus sprinted down the stairs and ran into the garden as quick as his young legs could carry him and grabbed his mother, who had picked up his trunk, by the arm.

'Let's go!' Severus said with determination, and with a loud crack they both disapparated to King's Cross station.


	3. 9 ¾ is the Platform where we Depart and Meet Again

The platform between nine and ten was already flooded with students and their families. It was obvious which people were magical and which ones were not, as magical people often did a poor job of trying to blend in.

Some faces looked vaguely familiar, but of most he had no recollection of. Not that it mattered much, all he wanted was to find Lily.

Eileen tapped Severus on the back. 'I have to get back.'

Severus pulled his mother into a tight embrace. After he let her go, he signed, 'I love you, mum.'

Tears started to form in the corner of her eyes. 'You haven't said that to me in years, Severus.'

Severus nearly started to laugh at the irony of that.

'It's about time I did,' he replied.

'I love you too, son,' she signed and kissed him on the cheek.

'I promise I'll write you,' said Severus.

Eileen tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. 'Send Lily my love.'

'I will.'

Severus picked up his trunk and bass and watched his mother disappear behind a corner, followed by the unmistakable sound of apparition that indicated that she had gone home.

Severus could only hope that Tobias wouldn't be too hard on her. This time he made himself the promise that he would be home for Christmas.

Latching on to what seemed like a group of second years, he walked through the wall between platforms nine and ten until a large scarlet steam train appeared in front of him. He had forgotten how much of a hassle and chaos the first day of a new school year had been as a student and had to suppress the urge to sneer at every student that blocked his path. For a split second, he missed the privileges that came with being a teacher.

So far, no sign of a bouncing redhead yet.

'Oi, Snivellus!'

Shit. From the corner of his eyes he saw Sirius Black materialize.

'Have you seen my arse kisser of a brother somewhere?'

Regulus Black. That's a name he hadn't thought of in a very long time. A boy who, in the end, had tried to do the right thing after all. A boy with whom he could possibly form a useful alliance.

'What's it to you, Black?' Severus asked with a bored tone in his voice.

'Mum wants to talk to him before we go.' Sirius pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. Walburga Black stood behind them looking at a Muggle family with so much disgust, her ugly face might've shattered.

'Haven't seen him. Have you seen Lily anywhere?'

'Haven't seen Evans but her folks just left so she's probably on the train somewh—hey Prongs!'

More shit. Potter had run up to his best friend, pulled him into a tight embrace, and patted him on the back, ignoring Severus completely as if he was nothing but a puff of air.

The last thing he wanted was to deal with Potter and his tribe of scum. So, he snuck off and boarded the train at the back, figuring it would be the easiest way to find Lily.

Severus grew more anxious with each passing compartment and quickly dashed off after seeing Avery, Mulciber, and Rosier talking intensely to one another. Hopefully they hadn't seen him pass.

He was near the end of the train when he finally found her, sitting beside Alice and Mary, laughing over some disgusting flavour of a Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean.

Alice, who was sitting opposite Lily, patted her on the knee and pointed out the window of the door's compartment. Lily's green eyes met his black.

He saw she was wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt he had bought for her two years prior at a concert in Oxford. Her father had been kind enough to give them tickets at Christmas for their birthdays, as their birthdays were very close together.

Severus wasn't quite sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. He slid open the compartment door with a lot of force, dropped his trunk and bass on the floor, pulled her out of her seat, and locked her into a bone crushing embrace.

He drew in every bit of her. From her musky scent to her hair as it tickled his face. Her fine frame felt delicate in his arms. 'I-can't-breathe,' she said as her face turned red.

He quickly let go of her. 'I'm sorry Lily; I'm so sorry.'

So many old feelings went into his words. His regret extended far beyond squeezing her too tightly.

'I'm so sorry, Lily,' he repeated with a crack in his voice.

'You better be,' a pissed off Mary said from behind them. 'Where are the rest of your Slytherin friends Snape?'  
'Dead for all I care,' Severus mouthed back.

Mary was startled by his response but did not respond with a snarky comeback.

Lily looked up at him with her eyebrows raised and arms crossed. 'What brings you here?'

'Mum says hello,' Severus said flatly.

They looked at each other in silence. A bit longer than was comfortable.

Lily's eyebrows formed a frown. 'That's it?'

For once, Severus was at a loss for words. All he could do was nod.

'Just spit it out. What happened, Sev?'

Hearing his old nickname gave him a spark of courage. 'You wouldn't believe me if I told you.'

'Try me.'

'I died, saw Pip the goldfish, was given the chance to come back to life, drowned myself, and woke up on this particular morning.'

Both Mary and Alice's mouths were hanging open. Lily however, kept staring at him intensely.

'Have you been drinking by any chance?' Asked Lily with a skewed eye. 'You're not making an awful lot of sense to me.'

'My mum asked me the same thing this morning, funny enough.'

'Don't get cheeky with me Severus,' she said as she whipped her long pony tale off her shoulder and put her hands on her hips. 'What is going on with you?'

'I promise I will tell you everything Lily, but for now I just needed to see you.'

Lily grabbed his bass off of the floor and Severus took it as a sign he was welcome to come in. After hoisting up his trunk on top of the others on the rack above their heads, he sat down next to Lily.

Alice and Mary kept shooting suspicious glares at him, but Severus couldn't care less for now. Lily was beside him, alive and breathing, and snarky, and that's all that mattered for now.

'Were you serious about what you just said,' Mary demanded.

'About what?' Severus asked slightly annoyed.

'About not giving a shit about your Slytherin friends.'

Severus noticed Lily and Alice staring at him intently.

'I am,' Severus said confidently. 'But since I do share a dorm with them, I prefer to stay on their good side. They don't know I'm a half-blood you see.'

Mary's eyes grew wide. 'You just flat out admitted that you're a half-blood,' she whispered. 'That's a dangerous thing to do.'

Lily however, looked up at Severus with pride, which made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Alice, who hadn't said anything up until now, swallowed a Bean and said, 'Well, I think that was very brave of you to say, Severus.'

Severus was taken aback by how much Alice's son, Neville, resembled her. He had forgotten how kind Alice had been. Although, like her son, she didn't look it, she was remarkably brave.

'Thank you, Alice,' Severus said genuinely.

Severus turned his gaze to Lily. 'You don't mind if I stay here, do you?'

'I'm not pulling your heavy trunk off the rack again if that's what you're asking,' Lily said to him. 'Would you like a sandwich? Tuney made some.'

Severus gladly took a sandwich from her. His teenage body was demanding an awful lot of food.

'Can we have a private conversation after the ceremony?' Lily asked him.

Severus nodded, 'I have so much to tell you.'

'I figured you do.'

'Is anyone up for a game of exploding Snap?' Mary asked to break the tension that was lingering in the air.

Though a little reluctantly (the last time he saw a game of exploding snap was when he confiscated a deck because the students had turned it into a game of exploding Snape), Severus agreed to play along.

It had been years since he had such innocent fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Purple and green are the colours that witches and wizards wear in Muggle public in order to recognise each other.


	4. From Across the Great Hall

Severus was sandwiched between Mulciber and Avery at the Slytherin table. They were all enduring Regulus Black's speech on his escape from his mother and Emma Vanity's consistent rambling on becoming Slytherin's new quidditch captain on the opposite side of the table.

Even in a previous life, Severus couldn't have cared less.

He didn't pay much attention to the new students being sorted, but he did turn his head when he heard "Lockhart, Gilderoy" being called forward and getting sorted into Ravenclaw. It took all his strength not to call him out, having to remind himself that Lockhart hadn't done anything stupid as of yet.

It was difficult to spot Lily among the sea of students on the opposite side of the Great Hall. To his annoyance, Potter was sitting beside her and she didn't even seem bothered by it. Good thing he knew she wouldn't be even remotely interested in him until their seventh year, but still, old grudges die hard.

Once dinner was served, he couldn't help but stare longingly at the Head table. Some of the professors he no longer recognized, but the majority he had worked alongside for many years.

The sight of Slughorn made him feel rather uncomfortable. He never knew how much the man had cared for him until after his death.

And then there was Minerva. Wonderful, beautiful Minerva. The woman who had trusted him, believed in him, and cared for him once he had joined their side…until he had been forced to turn his back on her.

And Dumbledore.

Severus's dark eyes met pale piercing blue ones and a jolt of pain pulsed through his head. He had wanted this to happen, knowing Dumbledore as a master of legilimency and as an invader of a person's privacy, there was no point in keeping anything a secret from him.

The Slughorn in limbo may have thought that he could avoid the war all together once he went back, but he knew better than that. The war was unmistakably connected to this time and now he was in a position where he carried more information than anyone else in the wizarding world. It made him feel oddly vulnerable and wondered if this is how Potter's spawn must've felt for all those years.

He let out an inaudible sigh. This was not the time or place to get sentimental.

'Oi, Snape!' Rosier had appeared from the other side of the table.

'Rosier,' Severus replied with as much enthusiasm as reading a phonebook.

'We couldn't find you on the train mate. Where have you been?'

'With Lily and her friends,' Severus responded dryly.

Everyone within earshot gave him a look of disgust.

'That mudblood,' Mulciber spat. 'I thought you had finally grown out of your sickening infatuation with her.'

Severus pretended not to hear and piled a few potatoes onto his plate.

'You shouldn't be around her Snape,' said Rosier. 'It's not safe.'

'Thank you for your concern Rosier,' Severus responded dully. 'But it isn't my own safety that I'm concerned with.'

Amongst all the Slytherins at the table, Regulus Black and Evan Rosier were the only two that he would consider to possibly form an alliance. Regulus shouldn't be too difficult to convince, considering his future's past. Rosier was going to be a tad more difficult, but he remembered the Rosier family showing signs of disagreement with the Dark Lord's plans.

Thoughts on the war, however, would have to wait a bit longer. Tonight he was going to speak with Lily, and Lily alone, for the first time in... what must be over twenty years?

Over twenty years it's been. She had been gone longer than they had been together.

He caught glimpses of her bouncing red hair from across the hall. She must've thrown her ideas of becoming a Healer out the window by now. Determined to fight against everything the people at the Slytherin table stood for.

He remembered both her parents had been active in the military during the second Muggle war. She was as determined and devoted to her war as her parents had been to theirs.

'Oi Snape, wake up!' Regulus snapped his fingers in front of Severus's eyes. 'Aren't you going to eat?'

Severus looked down at his untouched plate of boring potatoes. 'No, I'm not hungry,' he mumbled. He pushed his plate to the side and folded his arms on the table.  
'How come I didn't see you at Malfoy's dinner party this past summer?' Avery asked with his usual posh mannerism.

'Probably because I wasn't invited you nitwit,' Severus said without so much as a glance in Avery's direction. Avery must've pretended not to hear, because he continued with his story.

'We were all there with our families,' Avery pointed at the people around them with his knife. He leaned in closer and brought his voice down to a whisper. 'We saw, you know, him.'

Mulciber leaned in closer from the other side to join the conversation. 'We didn't actually speak to him,' he said. 'We weren't allowed. He looked so impressive though. I can't wait to officially join his cause.'

At some point in the future's past, Severus had felt the exact same way Mulciber did. The Dark Lord did not hide the fact that he had become something out of nothing. A thing that had left a lasting impression on him when he met the Dark Lord for the first time.

He too had come from nothing after all. It was the first time he felt there was a way to step out of the shadows and become someone of importance.

How very wrong he had been.

'Malfoy put in a good word for you though,' Avery continued. This time Severus sharpened his ears. 'Told the Dark Lord you are an excellent Potioneer and that you know a lot about the Dark Arts. So, who knows, maybe you will get an invitation soon.'

'Perhaps,' was all Severus had to say to that.

The Dark Lord did not personally invite him until the winter of his last year at Hogwarts. He had time to figure it all out.

Dumbledore announced the end of the feast. The dishes disappeared from the table and he requested the prefects bring the new students up to their dormitories.

Without giving a damn if Avery had any more to say, Severus dashed off towards the Gryffindor table, accidentally on purpose bumped into a very confused looking Lockhart, and tagged Lily on the shoulder.

Lupin, along with Alice, had already ushered all the new first years away while the rest of the house had slowly started to follow suit.

'Astronomy tower?' Severus asked.

'Afraid we're going to be overheard?' Lily asked mockingly.

'To be honest, yes.'

'Is Snivellus bothering you, Evans?' Potter was staring up at them from the table.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. 'Oh sod off Potter, it's none of your business.'

'It is my business if he's bothering you.'

'What part of the "it's none of your business" did you not grasp Potter,' Severus barked at him.

Lily's narrowed eyes shifted between the two men. 'Knock it off! Both of you!'

Potter raised his arms up in the air as a sign that he was backing out of the argument.

'Let's go, Sev.' She grabbed him by the sleeve and dragged him towards the staircases.

Once they passed the fourth floor Severus could no longer contain himself. 'Why do you even talk to Potter if all he does it bother you?'

'For the same reason you talk to your friends in Slytherin even though they annoy you,' she said while they continued to walk. 'I share most of my classes with them. I share a common room and a dormitory with them. I see them all the fucking time, so I might as well be on good terms while I'm at it.'

'Fair enough,' Severus admitted, and together they continued the climb all the way up to the Astronomy Tower in silence.


	5. The True Power of a Cigarette

'You're holding yourself differently,' Lily remarked as she leaned up against a pillar of the Astronomy Tower.

Severus was looking down at the grounds with his hands clasped tightly around the copper railing. He had never been a fan of heights.

The shadow of nightfall was slowly creeping up on the grounds.

'I brought something for us,' Lily said. She fumbled in the pocket of her robe and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

Severus grinned. They had often secretly shared cigarettes at their spot by the river in Cokeworth. 'Where did you get those?'

'I stole them from Petunia's new boyfriend.' There was an ugly emphasis on the term "boyfriend".

'Well look who's turning into a little criminal,' Severus said mockingly.

'I'm doing my sister a favour, really,' Lily said as she broke the seal of the pack. 'She hates it when he smokes.'

He took a cigarette from the pack and lit it with a snap of his fingers. 'You taught me that, remember?' Severus said as he released smoke from his lungs.

Lily grinned at him. 'I remember.'

Lily pushed herself away from the pillar and clasped her hands around the railing beside him. For a moment they looked straight ahead at the forest clad landscape in front of them. The lake was glittering beautifully in the light of the setting sun.

Halfway through their cigarettes, Lily was the first one to talk. 'On the train this morning, you said something about drowning yourself and dying. What was that all about?'

'What, no questions about the goldfish?'

'Don't try to avoid my question please,' she said with an irritated tone.

'You wouldn't believe me if I told you.'

'Try me.'

Severus had nearly forgotten how pushy she could be. He inhaled deeply from his cigarette, felt the nicotine flow through his veins, and exhaled.

'I—I honestly don't know where to begin. I was just trying to get your attention.'

'I'm not buying it.'

'I'm asking you to trust me.'

'You know I find that difficult to do that when you surround yourself with Death Eater friends. Friends who constantly try to attack my friends, I might add.'

'Lily, these people are not my friends, and I can promise you that I have no ambition to become a Death Eater.' (Again.)

Lily looked at him with observing eyes, as if she were trying to find the lie in his words.

'Then for once, Sev, tell me the truth on why you are so obsessed with the Dark Arts,' Lily pleaded. 'It scares me to see you get swallowed up by something so dangerous. I'm afraid of the influence those friends of yours have on you.'

'It's not them that got me into the Dark Arts.' (That was the truth.) 'That fault lies entirely with me.'

She looked at him with large eyes, pleading him to continue.

'This is hard for me to explain, but I'll try, okay?'

Lily nodded in agreement, probably out of gratitude that he was finally able to admit where it all had gone wrong.

'I think I got into the dark Arts for the same reason we are interested in horror stories, such as Poe's poetry or war movies. It is that darker part inside all of us that isn't repulsed, but rather fascinated with death, pain, and destruction.'

Severus looked up at the darkening sky, thinking hard of what to say next.

'I suppose, it was the darker part of me that was captivated by the Dark Arts. It just started off as an honest interest that grew into an obsession, and it took me like a drug. It lifted me up from the inside and I turned a blind eye to the destruction on the outside, and for that I am sorry.'

A red rim had formed around Lily's green orbs.

'I've made a huge mistake Lily. I see that now.'

She wiped away a tear with the sleeve of her robe and asked with a crack in hear voice, 'is there any way you can get out of this mess?'

Severus sighed. 'I know that the Dark Lord knows my name and is interested in my talents, so I believe my only option would be to go to Dumbledore, confess, and hope that he is willing to help me.'

'Is there anything I could do for you?'

Severus shook his head. 'You could pass me another cigarette.'

Lily handed one over and took another one for herself.

'Thank you for telling me,' she said. 'I needed to hear that.'

'You do understand that I cannot undo what I already know,' Severus said to her in a low voice.

Lily nodded. 'I understand, and I have another question for you.'

'Fire away.'

'Why did you hug me this morning?'

Severus nearly choked on the smoke in his throat. 'Uhm—it's because I hadn't seen you in a while.' (Over twenty years in fact. I just had to make sure for myself that you were real.)

Lily's eyebrows nearly touched when she frowned. 'You never hug me. You never hug anyone for the matter. It was—odd.'

Severus had to think hard for a moment. 'Did we see each other at all this past summer?'

Lily looked up to think. 'Only once or twice at the beginning of the summer. I had a feeling you didn't want to be seen with me.' She sounded hurt when she said it.

I'm sorry if that's what you thought,' Severus said softly.  
'You know Sev, you're apologizing an awful lot.'

'Because I have a lot to apologize for.'

'It's just—,' Lily muttered. 'I just got the feeling we were slowly drifting apart.'

She seemed upset now.

'I stayed away from you because I believed it was the only way that I could protect you,' said Severus.

'Protect me from what exactly?' she said sharply.

'From all the evil that is going on in my house.'

Lily took the cigarette from her mouth to put up a protest, but Severus stopped her in time.

'I know now that avoiding you is not the way to do it.'

A welcomed silence fell between them. The giant squid had disappeared entirely under water and the first stars had started to decorate the night sky.

After a while Lily nudged him playfully in the ribs. She seemed to have calmed down from all the emotional baggage that had spilled out between them.

'How's everything at home, Sev?' She asked. 'Is Eileen doing okay?'

'Mum's alright, my father however,' Severus paused and raised his shoulders. 'You know how it is.'

'You know you're still welcome to come over to my place if things are bad. Mum and dad keep asking about you.'

'If it makes you feel any better, I'm coming home for Christmas this year.'

Lily's mouth fell open. 'You are actually coming home this time? You better come over for Christmas day, mum and dad will be delighted!'

Severus had to smile at her enthusiasm. 'I'll be there; I promise.'

Lily looked up at the clouds of smoke she blew from her lungs. 'You still haven't told me what that dying and drowning thing was all about.'

'I was hoping you had forgotten,' Severus admitted.

He wanted to smack himself for being stupid enough to blurt out the things he had done while he was in limbo. There was no way he could explain all of that without having to expose more about his future's past. A thing he didn't want to tell her until she was ready or until it would become significant for their future.

'I want to speak with Dumbledore first, before I am even somewhat able to start explaining all of this to you.'

'Whatever it is Sev, it sounds like you got yourself into a lot of trouble.'

All he could do was nod in agreement. 'Can you wait until I have it all sorted out for myself?'

'I can do that.'

They spent the rest of their time talking, mainly about school and everything they could expect this year from their music lessons to their OWLs. It was near curfew before they left the tower. Severus had expected things to be difficult, but instead it had felt as if they had only been apart for several weeks rather than several decades.

Severus left her at the Gryffindor portrait, and they promised each other to meet up early at breakfast tomorrow to compare class schedules. He remembered they had potions together again this year, which was the only subject that mattered to him to have her around.

With a bounce in his step he made his way into the dungeons and cursed to himself when he nearly walked into the teacher's office out of sheer habit. Having to share a room with students again was going to suck and having to pretend to be a student again was going to suck even more.

He found his way into the common room, found his trunk and bass in the dormitory, and instantly fell asleep.


	6. A Draught of Peace

Out of old habit Severus awoke early, took a quick shower, and changed into a clean set of robes.

Years of gliding like a bat through the shadows as a spy had taught him a thing or two about stealth. He was therefore satisfied to see that none of his roommates had awoken to him tip-toeing across the dormitory.

It frustrated him to no end that his battered old trunk contained equally battered old junk. At the beginning of sixth year in his past he started up his own potions lab in a hidden dungeon room and sold potions to students to make a little extra money. Starting a year earlier could only be more beneficial.

To his surprise, Lily was already sitting at her house table, nibbling on some toast. Severus realised the last thing he had eaten was the sandwich Lily had given him on the train the previous day and his stomach growled loudly in protest.

'Morning' Lily muttered sleepily as he sat down next to her.

'Good morning,' he muttered back and helped himself to some toast and marmalade.

Lily was bending over a new class schedule.

'Where did you find that?' Severus asked.

Lily pointed at the teacher's table. 'I got curious, so I grabbed mine from the Gryffindor pile.'

Severus walked up to the teacher's table, found his name in the pile of Slytherin schedules, and sat back down next to Lily.

'Oh look!' Lily pointed out enthusiastically. 'We have potions, defense against the dark arts, astronomy, music, and care of magical creatures together.'

Severus looked at his schedule with confusion. 'Please remind me why I chose care of magical creatures over arithmancy?'

'Because I told you to, remember?' Lily said casually.

'I shouldn't have listened to you.'

'You're oddly forgetful, Sev. Don't you remember why we picked it together?'

'Please remind me before I start to regret this decision even more than I already am.'

'Because Professor Kettleburn is covering a lot of magical birds this year. Rare magical birds with rare potion ingredients attached to their bodies I might add.'

'You make it sound like you intend to kill the birds for their feathers, which, if I'm not mistaken, is not the core intent of the class.'

Lily's lips thinned in a very Petunia like manner. 'I only wish to pet the bird while I gently pluck out a loose feather or two, thank you very much.'

A memory hit Severus in the face like a solid brick. He had dropped this class because of yet another petty argument between him and Lily and had exchanged it for arithmancy instead.

At least he now had a class to follow that wasn't an entire repentance of his past life and he didn't have an argument with Lily. This day could've started off greatly if it wasn't for the marauders showing up.

'Are you even allowed to be sitting at this table Snivellus?' Sirius barked at him.

'According to the school's rules I am allowed to sit at any table I damn well please unless it's the day of a particular ceremony such as the day of the sorting or during graduation,' Severus rattled off.

Sirius looked taken aback by the unexpected statement Severus had made.

'So, to answer your question, Black, I am allowed to be sitting at this table just as much as you are.'

'Looks like your pal Mulciber thinks otherwise,' said Sirius, nudging his head in Mulciber's direction across the hall. Severus looked over Sirius's shoulder and saw a look of pure horror and disbelief on Mulciber's face.

'I couldn't care less,' Severus stated and took another bite of his toast.

Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew were now all sitting and piling up breakfast opposite of Severus and Lily.

Lupin…the gears of Severus's mind started churning. Lupin didn't look as shabby as he usually did shortly before and after his transformation, so it would be a while before the next full moon.

Damocles Belby was the name of the potioneer who created the wolfsbane potion, the only problem was, at this point in time, the potion had not been invented yet.

Severus cursed to himself that he did not know the entire recipe off the top of his head, and made a mental note to himself to write a letter to Damocles on this matter as soon as possible.

Potter was looking at the two schedules that were lying on the table. 'Ugh, why do we have so many classes with the Slytherins?'

'It's Hogwart's feeble attempt to force Gryffindors and Slytherins to work together in unity against the forces of evil that are trying to penetrate the castle from the outside,' Severus stated matter-of-factly.

'And I suppose you would know all about that wouldn't you, Snivellus?' Potter said in a low sneering voice.

Lily rolled her eyes and banged with her fists on the table.

'Knock it off, both of you, and Remus,' Remus looked up from his plate of kippers with surprise, 'as a Prefect it is your duty to keep this annoying bickering from happening. So the next time this happens, it's your turn to split them up.'

Severus looked away out of annoyance while Potter showed a look of pure discontent.

Lily let out an audible sigh and turned the conversation. 'Peter, did you get that new updated version of the Standard Book of Spells for charms?'

Peter, who had his mouth full of toast, nodded that he had.

'Uhm…Lily,' said Severus, 'your first lesson is double potions with me, not charms.'

'Huh? But it says right here we—ohhh I get it! Today is Tuesday, not Monday.'

Within a manner of minutes the Great Hall had been flooded with the rest of the students and several teachers were handing out the new class schedules.

'I better go get my books from upstairs,' Lily said as she got up from the table. 'Save a seat for me, will you Sev?'

'I will,' Severus called out to her as she ran off towards the grand staircase.

The four marauders wolfed down their food then followed Lily's path up to their dormitory.

Not caring that he was receiving a lot of confused looks from the Gryffindors at the table, he finished his breakfast in peace. Then headed to the dungeons to collect his books and supplies; then headed to the classroom.

The potions classroom was still empty. It was the same classroom in which he had been a teacher longer than he had been a student. To be sitting down behind a student's desk at the back of the room instead of standing in front of them felt wrong.

Pretending to be a student was going to be—no. He is a student. A student who just so happens to have a vast, extensive knowledge, far beyond his age.

'Good morning mister Snape!'

Severus recognized the jolly voice immediately. He looked up at his old professor and colleague with a new set of eyes.

'Had a good summer?' Slughorn asked as he made his way towards the teacher's desk.

'Not really, to tell you the truth.'

Slughorn looked up at him from the other side of the classroom.

'Everything alright at home?'

'No sir, it's not alright.'

Slughorn dumped his stuff on the teacher's desk and shuffled his way towards Severus. 'Is there anything you wish to talk about?'

'Not yet, sir, but I will later if that is okay.'

'That's quite alright I suppose. Whenever you're ready, oh and before I forget…'

Slughorn pulled out a tiny rolled up scroll of parchment from his pocket and handed it over. 'Headmaster Dumbledore sends his regards.'

The rest of the fifth year Slytherins had started to come in and Severus quickly hid the scroll in his backpack. Rosier took the seat in front of him with Avery. Mulciber however, ignored Severus with his nose up in the air and sat down as far away from him as possible.

Perfect. Just how he wanted it to be.

A moment later the Gryffindors, with a much noisier entrance than the Slytherins, barged in. Lily spotted Severus in the corner and sat down next to him, clapping her hands excitedly. 'I've missed doing this, Sev! I hope we get to do something difficult and precise.'

Slughorn cleared his throat. 'Settle down please, settle down. That means you too miss Vanity. It is my duty to remind you that you will go through very important examinations at the end of this year to prove how much you've learned about the composition and uses of magical potions.'

Slughorn drew a deep breath. 'Today, we are going to make a potion that is often used by students who are in their exam years because it relieves anxiety and agitation.'

Severus knew exactly what the professor was talking about. The Draught of Peace. A particularly tricky potion to make and one he had made cauldrons full of to sell when the exams were coming up. The potion had been a goldmine and he could concoct it with his eyes closed.

'It is the Draught of Peace,' Slughorn's voice echoed Severus's thought. 'You can find the directions and ingredients on the board. Good luck!'

Lily looked excitedly at Severus. 'Looks complicated, don't you think?'

Severus grinned and placed the stone pestle and mortar in front of Lily. 'I'll let you crush up the moonstone.'


	7. A Taste of Sweet Sugar Quill

Severus had left his final class as fast as he could and unrolled the tiny scroll Slughorn had passed on to him. It must have been the shortest message he had ever received from Dumbledore, as it contained only two words: Sugar quill. Under the assumption that it was an open invitation to come to his office whenever, Severus decided that stopping by after dinner would seem like the smartest option, as Dumbledore was often occupied during the day.

He made his way to the library, found himself a seat in a dim corner, and started writing a letter to his mother.

' _Psst_!'

Severus looked around and saw Regulus Black had materialised in front of him, who, without invitation, sat down next to him at the table.

'What brings you here?' Severus murmured without taking his quill off the parchment.

'Curiosity,' Regulus said as he pulled out a breakfast sandwich from his bag.

'If this is about Lily, you can save your breath.'

'It's not about her,' Regulus said with a mouth full of bread. 'I saw you with your mum at King's Cross the other day doing that sign language thing and it got my wondering about something.'

Half annoyed yet half surprised at Regulus's unexpected question, Severus laid down his quill and looked up. 'What is it you wish to know?'

'Well, I always thought that magic was mostly a verbal and linguistic thing, but since your mum doesn't know the sound of words, how does she perform magic?'

Severus had to think carefully before answering. His mother's magic is different from that of other wizards. It isn't anything like being a squib, but it isn't comparable to what any "normal" wizard might use either. Her magic is unique in its own right.

'Where we hear a voice in our head, her thought process consists of images and printed words,' Severus started. 'Her magic is formed in a different part of her mind and is heavily influenced by her thoughts and memories.'

Regulus was looking at him attentively, still munching on his sandwich.

'She's exceptional with wandless magic,' he added. 'I'm quite jealous of her abilities to tell you the truth.'

Before Regulus could respond madam Pince's eagle eyes caught sight of him, causing him to nearly choke on his sandwich. 'Food! In the library! Are you out of your mind? OUT! BOTH OF YOU!'

Both Severus and Regulus knew better than to argue with the librarian. So, they quickly packed their belongings and ran off towards the Slytherin common room.

Only a handful of students were present, either lounging in chairs or doing homework. They sat down in a niche of the room, catching their breath.

Regulus looked around to make sure they weren't being overheard. 'Severus,' he whispered, 'why do I have the feeling you are no longer interested in joining the cause?'

Severus's eyes looked sharply at him and lowered his voice. 'Why do I have a feeling you aren't either?'

For a moment neither of them said a word but only looked sharply at each other, as if both were trying to find an underlying intention.

'We'll discuss this later,' Severus said through his teeth, and Regulus nodded in agreement.

'Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish writing a letter to my mother.' Severus grabbed the half-finished letter, quill, and ink from his bag and continued to write. Regulus must have thought it was a good idea to do the same thing and together they wrote to their families in silence.

...

It wasn't until dinner that he got to see Lily again. Once more, to the Marauder's annoyance, he sat down at the Gryffindor table beside her.

'How was your first day?' He asked her while helping himself to a plate of sliced tomatoes.

'Wonderful,' she answered. 'I mean, how often do you get to sit next to someone in potions class, risk tweaking up the directions we were given, only to create the most perfect Draught of Peace ever made.'

Alice, who had taken a seat opposite of them, was nodding in agreement. 'You got us twenty points for each of our houses on the first day. I'd say that's pretty impressive.'

'Thank you, Alice,' Lily and Severus said in unison. After several bites Lily's face fell from gleeful to mournful. 'I nearly forgot to tell you this, Sev, but I overheard someone say that professor Slughorn's wife passed away this summer.'

The food in his mouth turned bitter. 'I didn't know that,' he said while subconsciously picking at his tomatoes. He no longer felt hungry.

In his former life he hadn't even known Slughorn had a wife until he met him in limbo. For some reason, the news that Slughorn's wife would pass away soon weighed heavily on his heart.

'I wish there was something we could do for him,' Lily said sadly.

'I've got an idea,' said Severus. 'You should get him a goldfish, like you did for me.'

'You know, I was just thinking the exact same thing Sev,' Lily said with a tone of surprise. 'I'll arrange that when we see him again next Thursday.'

'What are you two going to do tonight?' asked Alice.

'Since you'll be going down to the kitchens to meet up with Frank' Lily answered teasingly, 'Mary and I are going to hang out in our dormitory playing games.'

Severus looked at both girls in disbelief. 'Are you two not going to start on your homework?'

Lily frowned. 'Why should we? It's only the first day!'

'Because this is fifth year. It's our toughest year yet. We got OWLs coming up!'

Lily looked up at him as if she was looking up from a pair of invisible glasses. 'OWLs are not until the end of the year,' she moaned. 'Just because you were already concerned about your NEWTs back in third year doesn't mean that we are, mister apprehensive.'

Severus raised his shoulders. 'I'm just warning you. You're going to regret procrastinating on anything this year.'

'Oh, and how come you know all about that?'

He had to think of a lie, and quick. 'Lucius warned me,' he said. 'You remember Lucius Malfoy?'

'You mean mister ponytail who was always accompanied by his pretty blonde girlfriend? Yes, it's hard not to remember such an intriguing character.'

He had no idea what happened to the Malfoy family during the battle of Hogwarts. Perhaps all three of them had died during the battle, but a part of him wouldn't be surprised if Lucius had finally seen the chance to escape from his mistakes. He wondered if Lucius could potentially still form an ally, but at this point he was probably already too far into the cause and with his long line of pureblood supremacy, Lucius wasn't likely to be a loyal ally either.

Lily's voice brought him back to the present. 'What are you going to do tonight, Sev?'

'I received an invitation from Dumbledore to visit his office.'

Alice looked at his with curiosity. 'Must be something important if he wants to speak to you on the first day of school.'

'It is,'Severus answered. 'I got myself into some trouble that I need to set straight.'

Alice nodded in understanding. Severus knew that Lily wouldn't tell anything that was shared between them on top of the Astronomy Tower, but the fact that he was involved in the Dark Arts wasn't exactly top secret either.

'Will you tell me all about your meeting tomorrow?' Lily asked him.

'I will.'  
Severus followed Alice and Lily up to the seventh floor and exchanged their goodnights in front of their common room portrait.

As he walked down the hallway towards the stone gargoyle on the seventh floor, he heard a rustling sound behind him. Severus straightened his back and lowered his voice. 'I wouldn't try following me around if I were you Black.'

'How the fuck did you know it was me, Snivellus?' Sirius had appeared from behind a tapestry, his wand already in his hand.

'Are you going to tell me why you are following me, or did you just feel like hexing me from behind?'

'I need you to stop having such a band influence on my little brother,' Sirius barked angrily, refusing to lower his wand.

'Funny, I thought he already had an older brother to be a bad influence for him, but I'll gladly take it over from you if you are no longer up to the task.'

'That's not funny Snape and you know it.' His wand was gripped so tightly into his hand it looked like it might snap in half. 'Something's going on with you and I don't like it.'

Severus took a few steps forward, nearly touching Sirius's outstretched wand. 'Go on then, hex me.'

Sirius looked confused at the situation. 'Why won't you fight back?'

Severus ignored the question. 'I'm rather touched by your sudden display of brotherly love. Is there anything I should be aware of?'

'Don't hurt him.' Sirius shook a little, losing his otherwise steady posture. 'That's all I'm asking.'

Severus took another step forward, the tip of Sirius's wand touching his chest. 'I promise,' he said coldly, 'if you promise to stop dogging me around.'

Sirius lost his cool entirely after hearing the word "dogging". Severus leaned in and lowered his voice. 'I know what you are Black, just like your little marauder friends. So if I were you, I'd be a bit more careful or I might just accidentally let it slip.'

Without another word and a glare of pure venom, Sirius sped off towards the Gryffindor common room.

Severus, feeling rather pleased with himself, continued to walk down the corridor until he stood in front of the stone gargoyle. He drew a deep breath, mumbled, "sugar quill" and the stone gargoyle stepped aside, revealing a spiraling stone staircase.

It was time to face the headmaster once more.


	8. The Grand Wizard

Fawkes sat on his perch eyeing Severus with a look of curiosity and suspicion. Through the tower's window the quidditch pitch could be seen shimmering in the setting sun. Aside from a noticeably smaller collection of books and silver instruments, Dumbledore's office looked exactly as it did back in the future.

'Good evening, mister Snape.' Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk. His sparkling blue eyes were looking up from behind his half moon spectacles. 'Please, have a seat.'

Severus however, remained standing. It felt as if it was only yesterday that he had seen the light in the old man's eyes fade away. Seeing the man again, slightly younger, and ignorant of his future, was a strange sight to behold.

His emotions made a loophole through his heart and mind. He was angry for all those years of being used as a pawn. But also grateful, for Dumbledore was the only one who had faith in him when no one else did.

'Has no one ever told you it is rude to prod inside someone's mind without their permission?' Severus said darkly.

Dumbledore did not seem troubled by Severus's outburst. 'I was under the assumption that you wanted me to see, but if that is not the case, then I apologise, and I promise it won't happen again.'

Severus growled. 'You could've at least attempted to be a bit more subtle. What memory exactly did you manage to pick out from my brain?'

To that, Dumbledore's smile faded a little. 'I saw you die a gruesome death, which raised my curiosity, as you are standing in front of me alive and well.'

With his arms crossed, Severus pondered on which words could possibly even begin to describe everything that has happened to him.

'Would you like some tea perhaps?' Dumbledore asked.

Severus nodded and watched him conjure up a teapot along with two mugs. As he poured them both a mug of hot tea, Severus gave in and sat down opposite Dumbledore at his desk.

They both drank some of their tea in silence. Severus found himself relax a little, losing the tension that had been building up inside of him with each step on the spiraling staircase.

'If you are willing,' Dumbledore said, 'could you please explain to me why you have a memory of your own death?'

Severus had to drain his tea before he could muster up the courage to open his mouth. 'It is because I did die, sir, in the future.'

'Then how is it that you have managed to travel back in the past? A powerful time-turner, perhaps?'

'It's nothing like that. What happened was that I was given a choice when I died. I could either decide to move on or come back to the past and mend my wrongdoings. When I died, I met—' but Dumbledore raised his hand to refrain him from continuing.

'As fascinated as I am about your miraculous return in time, I do not believe that it is my place to know what happens after we leave the world of the living.'

Though annoyed that he got cut off from his attempt to explain the situation, he also agreed with Dumbledore's statement. How he had managed to come back wasn't relevant. What was relevant is the reason why.

'It must be something of great importance to you' Dumbledore continued, 'if you chose to come back to a life filled with war, rather than a peaceful death.'

'With all due respect sir, but it is not the war that made me choose to come back.'

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled from behind his half moon spectacles. 'What is it then, that made you come back?'

Despite himself, Severus smiled. 'I did it for Lily.'

Dumbledore laughed. 'For miss Evans? How endearing.'

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Severus felt his cheeks flush. 'It isn't just because I love her though, it's also because she's of vital importance for the course of the w—' but Dumbledore cut him off again.

'Your return, mister Snape, will result in situations no longer unfolding in the way that you remember them. Alterations to your timeline cannot be avoided because of what you know. The things you know from your past may be useful to us, but there is no guarantee that your knowledge will be the truth. Do you understand?'

Severus took a moment to process what Dumbledore had said. 'I believe I do.'

Dumbledore poured them both some more tea. 'Good. It must be a heavy burden to carry the knowledge of knowing who lives and who dies and yet, I ask you not to share it with me, or anyone else for the matter.'

Dumbledore leaned in a little closer. His hands folded on the desk. 'Some things are meant to be mister Snape, try to find it within yourself to accept that instead of letting it weigh you down.'

'I will try,' Severus said softly.

Dumbledore sat back up straight. 'Before you leave, is there anything I can do to make this transition any easier for you?'

Thinking back on the conversation he had with Lily, it would be the right thing to ask for Dumbledore's protection.

'There is something you could do for me.' Severus lowered his voice a little, not wanting to be overheard by the portraits on the walls. 'I got myself into a lot of trouble within my own house. I—I had the intention to become a Death Eater, and now the Dark Lord has taken an interest in me.'

'Is it protection that you are after?'

'Yes, because I intend to cut myself off from those ties and it is not going to look pretty when that happens.'

'I'll see what I can do for you.'

Dumbledore stood up and Severus took it as a sign that it was time to leave.

Once he stood on the threshold between the office and the spiral staircase, Severus remembered he had one last thing left to ask.

'Headmaster, before I leave, there is one more thing that I would like your opinion on.'

'What is you want to know?'

'It's about Lupin.'

'Mister Snape, we made the agreement last year—'

'I'm sorry sir,' Severus interrupted, 'I have no intentions on selling him out to the ministry. What I meant to say is that I know a potion, which technically has not been invented until the near future, that could potentially help him.'

Dumbledore's eyes grew wide. 'Do you mean to say that there will be a cure for this disease?'

'Unfortunately, it is not a cure. What the potion does is create the ability for the werewolf to keep his human mind once transformed. The transformations still occur, but the werewolf will no longer form a threat.'

'And who is held responsible for this invention?'

'It's Damocles Belby and since I can't remember the exact way the potion is made, I wish to contact him and figure out a way to create it sooner.'

'That's a very noble thing of you to do. Why the sudden change of attitude?'

'To tell you the truth, sir, it's because I'm terrified of werewolves.'

'Fair enough, is there anything you need to achieve this?'

'I am going to need my own potion's lab, because this potion is going to be complicated and difficult to perfect.'

'I will talk to Professor Slughorn about it for you. As for now, I wish you a good night and please, if there is anything that you do deem too important not to be told, you know the password.'

'Good night headmaster. Thank you for your help.'

Severus closed the door behind him and walked down the spiral staircase. He had expected an empty corridor, but instead a very impatient looking Lily was waiting on him.

'Please don't tell me you've been waiting for me all this time?'

Lily shook her head. 'No, I've only been out here for a few minutes.'

'Any particular reason you're—' but Lily had already grabbed him by the sleeve and dragged him along to the grand staircase.

'You're going to love this Sev!'

Severus noticed that many students, along with several teachers, were on their way towards the grounds. Together they followed the rest towards the dark quidditch pitch and climbed up to the seating area.

'Care to tell me what's going on, Lily?'

'Just look up, wait, and then you'll see!' she squealed in excitement.

After several moments, a flash of light caught in the corner of his eye. Soon more started to follow, until the night sky was illuminated with a downpour of shooting stars.

'Isn't it beautiful, Sev?'

Lily's eyes were focused on the sky, but Severus had his eyes on her. It was hard to believe that it had only been two days since he came back from the dead.

For the first time in his second existence he had openly admitted that Lily was the woman he loved. To Dumbledore, no less!

He was eternally grateful to Dumbledore that he had made him understand that his experiences from the future's past did not mean they were relevant to his new life.

He had died trying to protect the son of the woman beside him. Now he had his chance to protect her, so she could be alive to see it.


	9. Flight of the Snidget

The first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson turned out, as expected, to be quite a disappointment. Once again they had to deal with yet another incompetent teacher, who looked like he had only graduated the previous year and had taken the job out of sheer desperation.

The only good thing about it was that he got to see Lily struggle, very much like her son used to do, to keep her cool against the teacher. The bad thing was that it wasn't just the marauders who were picking on him now, but Mulciber, Avery, and several others from his own house as well.

Severus had to think back to that time when Potter had also had enough of dealing with yet another incompetent teacher and had started up his own secret group to rebel against the Dark Lord's forces. He took a mental note of that time. If he were to truly cut his ties with the Dark Lord, he would not be able to do it without support.

The lesson following that was transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs. It was the first time he came face to face with professor McGonagall since his return. Knowing her as quite the quidditch fanatic, he thought back to all those times they had made bets around their house quidditch teams. Personally he had never cared much for the sport, but it was a thing that had brought them closer together as colleagues.

Deep down he felt a little disappointed that she was looking at him as just another student.

Frank Longbottom was asked to hand each student a snail from a box; Severus had a faint idea of what they were going to do. Confirming his suspicion, McGonagall started talking on the theory on the Vanishing Spell.

Grinning to himself, he thought of the hundreds of disastrous potions he had vanished from his student's cauldrons.

He looked down at his snail, which was making a very slow attempt at trying to escape over the edge of the table. Severus gently poked it with his wand. 'Engorgio' he muttered, and the snail grew to ten times its regular size.

McGonagall's hawk eyes had taken note and looked at the large snail that covered Severus's desk.

'Mister Snape, that's not—'

But Severus was already ahead of her. With a gentle flick of his wand he said 'Evanesco' and the snail vanished into nothing.

McGonagall looked sharply at him over her square glasses. 'Feeling the need to show off, mister Snape?'

'Only a little bit, professor,' he admitted.

'Feel free to use that talent by helping others that are struggling with the spell and ten points for Slytherin, for impressing me.' She turned away to the board to add some additional information.

Severus stood up and walked towards a very confused looking Frank on the other side of the classroom.

'I don't think snails appreciate it when they vanish without their houses, Frank.'

...

After herbology, he waited for Lily to arrive besides Hagrid's hut, where the first lesson on care of magical creatures was supposed to be. Professor Kettleburn, already an old man, reminded Severus a lot of the auror Alastor Moody. Scars and missing leg included.

The professor was holding on to a small birdcage, covered up by a towel. 'I figured I would bring a surprise with me for your first lesson,' he said to the few Slytherins that had chosen the subject. 'You're going to love seeing this creature—oh there they are!'

The Gryffindors had arrived, and Lily walked up to Severus. 'Any idea what he's got?'

Severus shook his head. 'No idea.'

'Please, come a little closer and form a circle around me.'

The students shuffled forward while Professor Kettleburn placed the birdcage on top of a flat rock.

'The sanctuary of rare magical creatures was kind enough to lend me this extraordinary specimen.' He took the towel off the cage, revealing a small perfectly round golden bird with a long thin bill and ruby red eyes.

'Can anyone tell me what kind of creature this is?'

Several student's hands rose up in the air, but Severus was the quickest.

'You young man,' Professor Kettleburn pointed at Severus. 'What's your name?'

'It's Severus Snape, sir, and that bird is a golden Snidget.'

'Indeed it is, mister Snape,' Kettleburn responded, 'and can you also tell me why the golden Snidget is such a rare creature?'

'Because in the eleventh century it became popular to hunt them down either for their magical properties or simply for sport,' said Severus as if reading monotonously from a book. 'In the thirteenth century the creature was used for the first time in the game of quidditch, often killing it in the process of catching it.'

'Well said mister Snape. Ten points for Slytherin!'

Professor Kettleburn started to rattle on about the creature's special wings when Severus caught Potter imitating him from the corner of his eye. 'What is it Potter? Pissed off that I knew something about quidditch you didn't?'

'Since when do you give a damn about anything related to quidditch?' sneered Potter.

'I don't,' Severus stated matter-of-factly. 'But I do read Potter. I recommend you open up your books some time and learn a thing or two, unless are you afraid that it might damage your ignorance, of course.'

Potter scowled and turned to his friends.

Lily started to laugh, 'Well said, Sev.'

Severus didn't care for the fact that he called out Potter, but making Lily laugh made him feel fuzzy on the inside.

'Lily,' he whispered. 'We have to find a way to get our hands on that bird.'

'What are its properties?' Lily whispered back.

'Its feathers are used in a very difficult potion that I wish to make.'

'And what potion would that be?'

'Felix Felicis.'

Lily's mouth fell open. 'Sev, that's extremely difficult to make, not to mention that it takes forever to brew.'

'Six months to be exact, but it can't hurt to give it a try can it?'

Severus had to think about what Dumbledore had promised him about trying getting him a dungeon classroom to work on the Wolfsbane potion. He had never attempted to create Felix Felicis before. It was the perfect opportunity to try it without having the fear of being interrupted.

'How do you suppose we're going to get that bird out of its cage?'

Severus raised his shoulders. 'Ask Professor Kettleburn if we can hold it after class I guess.'

'I think I've got a better idea.' Lily showed a mischievous twinkle in her eye. A twinkle Severus hadn't seen in a long time. He knew from experience that it was going to cause a class interruption and potentially chaos.

'Whatever it is, I'm not stopping you.'

'Hey Potter,' Lily called out.

'Yes, miss Evans,' Potter replied happily.

'Are you up for a challenge?'

Severus sat back looking amused as he watched the situation unfold. This was going to be good.

Potter showed a stupid grin on his face. 'Of course, what is it you got?'

'Think you can catch that bird without making it fly off?'

'Sounds like quite a challenge, Evans. What do I get in return if I do?'

'I'll go on that date with you to Hogsmeade that you keep asking me for.'

Fuck no. A shock of fear shot through Severus's body. There was no way in hell that Potter was going to go on a date with her. No way in hell Potter was going to catch that bird first. He had to grab it before Potter did. He had to.

Potter's stupid grin turned into a broad smile. 'Challenge accepted.'  
'Better get ready Potter.' Lily said while she covered up her wand with her sleeve. 'Alohomora' she whispered under her breath, and the little door on the cage flew open.

For a brief moment the bird didn't realise that the cage had been opened, but Kettleburn quickly latched on. 'Oh no no no!' he yelled, but it was too late. The bird sped out of the cage and flew off into a million different directions.

'Quick!' Kettleburn cried. 'Try stunning it!'

Severus did not have to think twice. He and Potter quickly sped off towards the edge of the forbidden forest, throwing around stunning spells in an attempt to catch it.

The professor, along with the other students followed suit. Dozens of stunning spells were being thrown around, and Severus saw his chance when he saw Potter's back turned to him while skimming through the treetops.

'Stupefy,' Severus called, and hit Potter square in the back, and watched him fall onto the forest ground.

His eyes were still on the Snidget, which was now circling around a large pine tree. The rest of his class must've taken a different turn, as none of them were anywhere near and Severus took his chance.

'Stupefy,' he yelled and hit the bird in the chest. He caught it just in time as it fell down, hoping that he hadn't killed the creature in the process. Carefully he stuffed the bird into his pocket, walked away from the trees, and back onto the grounds.

He stood there waiting for a while until all of the students had returned. Someone must've found Potter, as he came back through the clearing as well, clearly pissed off that he hadn't been able to catch it.

Lily quickly ran up to Severus in panic. 'Shit, Sev, what have I done! Professor Kettleburn is going to kill me if he finds out it was me!'

Severus winked at her. 'Don't worry,' he whispered, 'I've got the bird right here in my pocket.'

He shielded himself from the group and pulled out the stunned bird from his pocket. 'Try to pick a few feathers, quickly.'

Lily gently plucked a few feathers off its tiny body and stuffed them in her pocket.

'I'll go bring it back to the professor,' said Severus after Lily was done.

Professor Kettleburn looked as if he was about to have a heart attack. 'I got the bird, professor!' said Severus with a victorious grin.

'Oh thank goodness,' Kettleburn said with a sigh of relief. 'Please put it back in the cage.'

Severus carefully placed the bird back on its perch, mumbled 'rennervate', and the bird opened its eyes.

'Class dismissed for today,' professor Kettleburn said. 'Thank you so much for catching it mister Snape. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't found it.'

'It's no problem, sir.'

By the time they were back at the castle, Lily handed him the feathers. 'I think it's best if you kept them in a safe place.'

Severus took the feathers and hid them in his backpack.

Lily gently nudged him in the shoulder. 'Thanks for saving me.'

'I don't think Professor Kettleburn would've found—'

'No, I meant from Potter,' she said. 'I mean, now I don't have to go on a date with him.'

All Severus could do was smile at her. 'I'll see you at dinner.'


	10. The Roaring Sound of a Thundering Bass

Severus sat on his bed sorting things out from his trunk. He tossed out empty jars of ink, broken quills, and useless notes. Eventually he found his box for potion ingredients. It was a small wooden box full of smaller boxes that could hold ingredients and glass vials. It had been a gift from Lily for his birthday in their second year and had been, despite its simplicity, one of his most prized possessions.

It was empty though. He took the Snidget's feathers out of his bag and placed them in the box. He then placed a modified colloportus spell on it, so that only he was able to open the box. Once satisfied, he hid the box underneath the mattress.

After having everything sorted in his trunk, he grabbed his bass. It was just a simple Fender, four string bass, borrowed from school for his music lessons. He checked his school schedule. Music class would be tomorrow at the end of the day.

Lily was probably going to wonder how he gotten so bad at playing all of a sudden. The last time he touched a bass had been at the end of his fifth year, no longer caring about making music.

Gently he plucked a string and by the sound of it, it was clearly out of tune. He had just placed his bass back in the case when a voice yelled 'Levicorpus!' and he felt himself dangling upside down, as if by an invisible rope, from the ceiling of the dorm room.

'Mulciber!' Severus spat. 'I know it's you!'

Mulciber and Avery appeared from behind the door. 'You shouldn't have taught us that spell, Snape,' said Mulciber.

'And I thought I taught you better by doing it non-verbally,' said Severus while spitting out some of his hair.

That wiped Mulciber's grin off his face. 'Malfoy wants to speak with you.'

'You know Mulciber, you could've just told me that without using my own spells against me.'

'It's because we're worried about you Snape,' Avery added. 'Last year you were practically leading us to become Death Eaters and now you're avoiding us like the plague.'

'I can guarantee you Avery, it is merely just the stench of you that keeps me away.'

Severus felt a fist hit his stomach, knocking the breath from his lungs. 'Didn't know you had it in you to fight like a muggle, Mulciber,' he wheezed.

'Fuck you, Snape,' Mulciber said angrily, probably for being compared to a muggle. 'You better not betray us or something bad might just happen to that mudblood girlfriend of yours.'

Avery whipped out his and muttered 'Libracorpus,' and with a thud Severus fell back on his bed.

Mulciber and Avery left the room and Severus snapped the curtains of his four-poster bed shut. He couldn't care less about dangling upside down or Malfoy getting suspicious. He was angry for the fact that Lily was being threatened over something that wasn't meant to be her problem. But of course, Severus growled at himself, it had everything to do with her.

...

The next morning during potions class Lily showed Severus a fishbowl that she had placed a Reducio charm on and had hidden in her backpack.

'How do you plan on putting a fish in it?' Severus asked as he crushed up some griffin claw for his strengthening solution.

Lily smiled. 'You'll see.'

By the end of their lesson, Lily and Severus remained seated while the rest of the students left.

'Professor, we have something for you,' Lily said to Slughorn.

Slughorn looked up with delight. 'Oh really, you know I do love surprises.'

Lily took the fishbowl from her bag, mumbled 'Engorgio' to bring it back to its regular size, and by the use of the Aguamenti spell she filled the bowl halfway with water. She took the bowl and placed it in front of Slughorn on his desk.

Both Severus and Slughorn looked at it with curiosity. From between her potion supplies, she pulled out an orange coloured lily petal and dropped it on the surface of the water where it floated around. 'It takes a moment professor, but you'll see.'

Together they left and peaked through the crack of the dungeon door. Slughorn's eyes were fixed on the petal. As he watched, it sank and transformed, as a cloud of orange ink in water, into a goldfish.

The last thing they saw were Slughorn's tear stained eyes as he looked at the little fish.

'How did you do it?' Severus asked Lily once they entered the entrance hall.

Lily stopped and looked up at him. She reached out for a strand of his hair and tucked it gently behind his ear. 'Now that, is a secret between your mother and I.'

...

The study of ancient runes was nothing but a blur to Severus. His mind was too occupied with how Lily had touched his hair and it distracted him so much that Professor Babbling nearly gave him extra homework to do by the end of the lesson.

Once the bell rang, Severus quickly dashed off to grab his bass and headed for the music classroom on the sixth floor.

He hadn't entered the room once since he became a teacher and had nearly forgotten what it looked like. A beautiful concert piano stood central in the room, while many instruments were stored against the walls. It was also the only classroom where all the four houses mixed together for practice.

Today was devoted specifically to muggle music and Severus expected to be one of the very few Slytherins present.

Lily walked in followed by Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew, but fortunately not Potter. Alice followed suit a bit later hand in hand with Frank. Some Ravenclaws Severus didn't know came in too and to his surprise, so did Regulus.

Severus saw Lily hugging her Gibson SG like a newborn baby. She had picked the SG specifically, because she was probably the biggest Tony Iommi fan Severus had ever laid his eyes on.

'You do remember the song we picked out last year to practice during the summer, right?' Regulus asked him with an irritated tone.

Severus shook his head. 'I… I forgot.'

'What the hell Snape, you never forget anything! Pull your head out of the clouds and start practicing.' Regulus walked off to set up his drum set when Lily came up to Severus with her guitar already slung over her shoulders. 'Ready?'

'Lily, I have to admit that I haven't played for a for a long time.'

Lily gave him a look of disappointment that managed to make him feel very guilty. 'You haven't practiced at all this past summer?'

'I'm sorry Lily I—I just wasn't up for it.'

'But I finally got to convince everyone to practice our song. OUR song Severus and you didn't even practice?'

With a flick of her hand she tossed her hair behind her shoulder, and it was clear to Severus that she was both angry and disappointed in him.

'Our song?' he asked carefully.

Lily's eyes shot fire. 'Did you just forget about our song? The song that was constantly listened to when my father brought it home when it just came out? The song that was our dirty little secret because nobody knew but you that I was a witch at that time?'

To be fair, Lily had the uncanny ability to frighten Severus more than the Dark Lord had ever done.

'The Wizard by Black Sabbath,' he said quickly. 'Please don't be mad,' he said in a voice that didn't sound remotely like his own.

Lily's angry glare softened up, but only a little. 'Sev, what is going on with you lately? You hold yourself so differently from what I'm used to.'

'Lily, there will come a time where I will tell you everything, but now is not the time.'

'Don't make me wait too long. Which reminds me, I still want to know everything that you talked about with Dumbledore.'

'Can we do that tomorrow, after our astronomy class?'

'Fine, now if you please, try to bullshit your way through the song.'

Lily stomped off to join Lupin, who was playing something behind the piano. Despite Lily's outburst, Severus did have to grin to himself as he tuned up his bass.

The Wizard. It was the first song he ever learned how to play on the bass just to make Lily happy. That was a song, that even after all those years, he wasn't likely to forget.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The Wizard by Black Sabbath came out in 1970. I recommend looking up the song and lyrics. It's simple, but extremely fitting. Toni Iommi is the lead guitar player and is usually seen playing his signature Gibson SG.


	11. Rosier's Forthcoming

The next morning Severus was eating breakfast by himself at the Slytherin table, when he was surprised by a visit from Slughorn.

'Good morning Mister Snape,' Slughorn said as he sat down beside him and poured himself some tea.

'Mornin' professor,' Severus responded with a mouth full of toast.

Making sure that he wasn't seen, Slughorn pulled out a key from his pocket. It was a large brass key adorned with silver wings.

'This is a very special key made by Professor Flitwick,' he said as he handed over the key to Severus. 'I spoke with Dumbledore about your plans to work together with Damocles Belby on a new concept to fight lycanthropy and I got you an old room down in the dungeons that you can use.'

Severus twirled the key around his fingers. He had seen one of these keys before. He watched Flitwick create hundreds of them in order to protect the Philosopher's Stone.

'As long as you have that key, you'll be the only one who can enter that room.'

'Thank you, professor. Could you tell me where I could find this room?'

Slughorn took a sip from his tea. 'Do you know the fake wall a little further down past the Slytherin common room?'

Severus nodded.

'If you go through there, you'll enter a narrow corridor. On the left there's a large brass door that matches the key. It's a small room, but at least it is hidden and out of sight.'

'Thank you,' Severus said again. 'I'll go check on it later today.'

'Have you contacted Damocles yet?'

'Not yet. I intend to write him a letter today though. Either way I could make good use of a potions lab.'

'You know what Mister Snape, feel free to use any ingredients from my storage if you ever need any.'

Severus's mouth fell open. 'Are you sure about that professor?'

'Yes I'm sure. I know I can trust you and Miss Evans on your potion skills and besides, it is my way of saying thank you. I'm very happy to have Francis in my office.'

Severus was amused. 'You named him Francis?'

'Yes, after Francis Bacon. I'm a big fan of his work.'

More students had started to pour into the great hall. 'I better get going. Have a good day Mister Snape.'

'Good day to you too, professor,' said Severus, as he watched Slughorn waddle off towards the teacher's table with his tea.

...

Charms class was chaos as usual. Being, of course, the only one who got the revision of the mending charm down right away, he sat down in a dark corner of the room and started writing his letter to Damocles.

Without revealing Lupin's name, he felt he had written a letter discreet enough to make Damocles curious about his intentions, without being too suspicious.

In herbology he managed to chop up and snitch a Chinese Chopping Cabbage for his potion supplies and just like he had done the previous Tuesday, he waited for Lily to arrive for their care of magical creatures lesson.

The past two lessons, he had started to notice Rosier acting a little strange, as he if was trying to distance himself from Avery and Mulciber.

'Rosier,' Severus called out. 'Could you come here please.'

Rosier walked up to him. 'Hello Snape,' he answered dully.

'Having trouble sleeping?'

'I got some issues with—' but Rosier cut himself off.

'We'll talk about it later alright?'

Rosier nodded in understanding and walked off to the rest of the group.

The Gryffindors had arrived and Lily skipped her way up to Severus. 'Any idea which bird we're covering today?'

'Fwoopers, apparently.'

Lily frowned. 'No clue what they are, but they sound an awful lot like a Dr. Seuss creation.'

It turns out Lily wasn't too far off with her Dr. Seuss prediction. The Fwoopers had a tear shaped body and were covered in fuzzy feathers with long tails and came in various bright colours. A consistent silencing charm had to be placed on them because, according to Professor Kettleburn, their song could slowly turn anyone insane.

Severus was holding up a bright pink Fwooper on his arm while Lily attempted to draw it.

'Do their feathers have any magical properties?' Lily asked him.

'Sadly no, but their tails do make very fine quills—ouch!' The Fwooper had caught on to Severus words and dug its claws in his arm as a sign of insult.

The Fwooper had turned itself around with its beak up in the air. 'Well I'm sorry little sir,' Severus said while trying to pet the fluffy pink creature.

'Oh it's alright, Sev,' said Lily. 'I needed to draw his backside anyway.'

It would be several hours before Severus had his astronomy class with Lily. So he took the time he had off to send the letter he had written to Damocles in the owlery and finish up some homework in the library.

'Snape.'

It was Rosier's voice calling his name. 'Can I sit here?'

'Sure,' said Severus. 'Are you certain that no one has followed you?'

Rosier nodded. 'I've been trying to avoid Avery and Mulciber for a while now.'

'So I noticed. Any particular reason why?'

'It's just—' Rosier looked as if he was about to reveal a terrible secret. 'As much as I agree with the Dark Lord wanting to overthrow the ministry and all, but this supremacy stuff—'

'You don't believe in blood status, do you?' Severus asked bluntly.

Rosier shifted uncomfortably in his seat and lowered his voice to a whisper. 'Do you?'

'Answer to me honestly, Rosier, and I shall reveal a secret of my own with you.'

Rosier seemed to contemplate for a moment, but gave in after the silence got too awkward. 'No. No, I don't believe in it. It just does't make sense to me.'

'Then that's an opinion we both share, as I don't believe in that nonsense either.'

Rosier let out a sigh of relief. 'I'm so glad I'm not the only one in Slytherin that feels that way. Too bad my parents will never accept this…'

'Are you afraid something might happen to you if they find out?'

The frightened look on Rosier's face said enough. 'I'm afraid. I'll admit that much.'

'Go to Dumbledore, it's what I did. He can offer protection if you need it.'

'I thought Dumbledore was biased against Slytherins?'

'The old man is only biased when it comes to Gryffindors because that's his old house. But honestly, the safety of his students is much more important to him than to which house they belong to. You can take that from me.'

Severus tore off a piece of parchment and scribbled on it. 'Here, read this and memorize it.'

Rosier skimmed the piece of parchment, a little confused. 'Got it.'

'It's the password to Dumbledore's office,' Severus said as he vanished the piece of parchment with a flick of his wand. 'It's behind the stone gargoyle on the seventh floor near the Gryffindor common room.'

'Thank you, Snape, I really owe you one. And uhm, what was that secret of yours you promised to mention?'

Severus looked deeply into Rosier's eyes. 'Promise you won't utter a single bloody word to anyone. Understood?'

'Roger that.'

'I'm a half blood. My father's a muggle.'

'Woah, I didn't know non-purebloods even made it into Slytherin.'

'You seriously believe that I am the only one? Most of the pureblood families have already gone extinct. The blood in Slytherin's house is just as tainted as it is in any other house. We're just better at hiding it.'

'You make a fair point Snape, thank you.'

'Please, promise me you'll visit Dumbledore at some point this weekend. Students are always welcome to him.'

'I promise I will. I'll keep you up-to-date alright? I got to go. Vanity's waiting for me at the quidditch pitch.'

Severus had expected Regulus to be the first one to admit that his involvement with the Dark Lord's cause was a bad one, but for Rosier to come up to him like that, was out of the blue.

Once again, he was reminded of the secret group that Potter had started up during his fifth year. Maybe he would pay another visit to Dumbledore this weekend and ask a few questions about the Order of the Phoenix. Chances were very slim for him to join at this age, but that didn't mean he couldn't form his own group within the castle.

One of these days, he was going to pay a visit to the room of requirement.


	12. Magic from the Sea

Once evening fell, the fifth year Slytherins headed to the astronomy tower. Severus was pleased to see that Rosier was now devoting his attention to the Slytherin girls rather than tagging along with him. If he had, it was bound to raise suspicion.

The weather conditions were perfect. The tower felt warm in the summer's afterglow, and the first stars had appeared in the clear, darkening sky.

Lily had already set up her telescope and reserved a spot for him beside her.

A very young looking Professor Sinistra handed each pairing a clean sheet of parchment and assigned them to locate Neptune and its moons.

Severus and Lily took turns observing the blue planet. 'I think I found either Thalassa or Galatea,' Lily said while marking down their orbit on the sheet of parchment.

'I'm quite positive that's Triton, Lily. It's the one on the most outer circle, you see?'

Lily groaned. 'Why exactly are we even learning about the position of the planets? What purpose does it serve?'

'The reason,' Severus said in a voice that reminded him a little too much of his time as a teacher, 'is because the universe is filled with ancient magic that must be observed thoroughly in order to understand our ancestry.'

'Sounds an awful lot like fortunetelling to me, 'Lily said, suppressing a yawn. 'Do you know if that's even real Sev? Predicting the future and such?'

Severus felt himself freeze up a little on the inside. How he wished he could tell her that seers were nothing more than frauds, but he knew better than that.

'It's rare, but true seers do exist. Although even when a prophecy is made, it can still be quite unreliable.'

'How come you know so much about it?'

'I just—I was reading something, and it caught my eye. That's all.'

'Still sounds like a lot of bullshit to me, just like the fact that we have to map out these moons.'

Severus looked up at Neptune through the telescope. 'Would you like to know something about Neptune that's more interesting than what Professor Sinistra was telling us?'

Lily's eyes looked at him pleadingly, and he took it as a yes.

'The Neptune that we know as a god, was born from Saturn and Rhea. Neptune, along with his siblings had quite a rough childhood considering the fact that his father ate them to prevent them from becoming stronger rulers than himself.'

'Very tragic,' Lily stated. 'Go on.'

'Through help by the means of his mother, Jupiter managed to escape and save his siblings, one of which among them was Neptune. They were then divided to rule amongst various parts of the universe and Neptune was given the domain over the waters of the earth.'

Lily seemed impressed. 'Sounds very mysterious.'

'It is, and do you also know about the meaning of the trident?'

'You mean like Poseidon's trident?'

'It's the same god, just a different name.' Severus grabbed the piece of parchment Professor Sinistra had handed out, drew a trident with a cross through its base on it, and held it up for Lily to see.

'The cross here at the bottom symbolizes the root of matter, while the three forks here represent becoming, being, and passing away. Or simply put: birth, life, and death.'

'I didn't know that. That's actually quite interesting, Sev, but how does it relate to what you said earlier about ancient magic?'

'Neptune's symbolic meanings are, according to the centaurs, our thoughts, imagination, and dreams. But it is also about the hidden side of life - and magic.' Severus needed a moment to think on how to explain it without making it too confusing. 'It is believed that magic comes from the depths of our oceans and like our oceans, we know very little about it despite knowing that it is there.'

'So what you're saying, is that Neptune represents the mysterious and unexplainable?'

'Sort of. It's difficult to explain—'

'Anything you wish to share with us, Mister Snape?' Professor Sinistra's sharp voice interrupted their conversation.

'I'm just explaining to Lily what Neptune symbolises, professor.'

'Care to share that information with the rest of your classmates?' It was more of a statement than a question. Lily nudged him in the ribs to get him to walk to the center of the tower.

The Slytherins and Gryffindors had turned around to listen to him. Even the marauders were looking at him, though probably in the hope that he would make a gaffe in front of everyone.

Years of being a teacher hadn't been for nothing and he quickly fell back in his old routine of explaining things the way a teacher would have done.

Professor Sinistra thanked him for the speech he delivered impromptu and took the lead to bring the students back to their dormitories.

Severus and Lily however, kept themselves at the end of the line and turned around to go back to the tower when they were sure no one was looking.

'I'm impressed, Sev,' Lily said as she sat down in the middle of the floor.

'With what?' he asked as he sat down on the floor in front of her.

'For delivering a speech like that. Honestly, I think you could make a fine teacher if – what's that angry look for?'

'Absolutely not. No way. Never,' Severus scowled.

'Would you like a cigarette with all that resentment?'

'You still have some?'

'You know I only smoke them when I'm with you.'

Severus took a cigarette from her hands and once lit, felt the nicotine rush through him. 'Just imagine Lily, me standing in a potions classroom, bent over some scrawny Hufflepuff first years, breathing down their necks while they are trying hard not to forget how to brew a forgetfulness potion.'

Lily looked up as if she was imagining it and started to chuckle. 'It looks ridiculous in my mind.'

'I can assure you, it probably looks ridiculous too in real life.'

'So tell me, Sev, how was your meeting with Dumbledore?'

Avoiding the details on his revelation about being from the future, Severus explained that Dumbledore had promised him protection and was going to work with him on a plan to get out of the mess he had gotten himself into.

'It means I might visit Dumbledore more often in his office this year to talk things through. I'm a useful source of information regarding what's going on, on the other side.'

Lily showed a complexion of fear. 'That doesn't sound very safe to me.'

'I know it isn't, but I must do what I can to right my wrongs, don't, I?'

It seemed that Lily didn't know how to respond to that, and instead started staring down at the floor.

Quickly Severus turned the conversation to avoid a heated discussion on this. He knew she would never approve of the idea of him putting himself in a dangerous position like that.

'Look,' he said as he held up the winged, brass silver key.

'What's that?'

'This is something that Dumbledore arranged especially for me with Professor Slughorn.'

'You caught my curiosity.'

'It's the key to a secret room down in the dungeons. I got it so I can turn it into a potions lab and work on private projects.'

Lily's eyes grew wide in adoration. 'Sev, that's incredible! But why?'

'Something along the lines of helping Madam Pomfrey with her supplies and making my own brews so I can sell them.'

Though the helping Madam Pomfrey part wasn't strictly true. He didn't want to reveal anything about his plans to create the wolfsbane potion for Lupin. Besides that, he expected Lily to be naïve enough not to know anything about Lupin's lycanthropy yet. That was a thing that would have to reveal itself in its own time.

'Why do I have the feeling that making potions in order to sell them wasn't a part of the deal?' said Lily teasingly.

Severus pressed his finger against his lips. 'Shush. That is our little secret. Which reminds me, when Professor Slughorn handed me this key, he also thought that you were going to help me out. So if you want, I would like to officially declare you my potions partner.'

'Yes to everything you just said!' Lily shrieked. 'May I see the key?'

Severus handed it over. It started to flutter as if it was trying to escape, but a moment later it calmed down and went still in her hands.

'It's pretty.'

'Apparently Professor Flitwick created it so it would be the only thing that could open the door.'

'Have you been there yet?'

'Not yet. I plan on going down there tomorrow after breakfast to set things up. Would you like to do that with me?'

Lily took a puff from her cigarette and bit her lip. 'I'm sorry Sev. I already promised Alice and Mary to work on our homework all day. We're quite behind already…'

Severus started to laugh. 'Don't make me say it, Lily.'

Lily rolled with her eyes. 'I know. I know.'

'Come on, say it for me.'

'No'.

'Please, Lily, grant me the satisfaction.'

Lily let out a sigh and gave in. 'Alright. You told me so.'

Severus grinned. 'I told you so.'


	13. Letters and a Lab

On Saturday, over half of the castle was sleeping in, but that didn't stop the mail owls from swooping in and dropping off packages.

For what must have been the first time in his life, not one, but three owls landed in front of him bearing messages. The first two he recognized as the owls he had used from the owlery to write to his mother and Damocles. The third owl that landed was a handsome eagle owl and by the seal on the scroll of parchment, Severus could tell it had come from Malfoy.

After the owls had flown off, he opened Damocles's response first.

_Dear Mister Snape,_

_First of all, I would like to say how happy I was to receive your letter. Not only do I rarely encounter such a young, talented student such as yourself, but you are also doing it for a noble cause._

_I too, am personally acquainted with someone who suffers from lycanthropy and have long been searching for a solution to this horrible disease. Your description could lay a fundamental base for the fight against lycanthropy._

_I have been told by headmaster Dumbledore that the first student trip to Hogsmeade this year will be on the first Saturday of November, the day after Hallowe'en. If possible, I would like to discuss further details with you at the Three Broomsticks._

_With kind regards,_

_Damocles Belby_

Pleased by Damocles's swift reply, Severus put the letter down and opened up the one his mother had written.

_Dear Son_ ,

I _'m glad to hear that you and Lily are talking again. I do hope to see_ _her when you come home for Christmas._

_On a more difficult note, your father lost his job the day after you left. He hasn't been around much since and I fear he's spending most of the money we have drinking down at the pub. Either way, I try to avoid him as much as I can once he does come home._

_I hope you are safe, son. I may not have a lot of contact with the wizarding world but I do know of the war that's approaching._

_Promise me you'll keep me informed on anything strange going on at Hogwarts, okay?_

_I love you,_

_Mum_

Had it been this soon into his fifth year last time that his father had lost his job? Or had he not bothered to write his mother at all and ask? Either way, that potions lab would have to come quickly off the ground. That way he could send her some money so that she would at least have something that she could use to take care of herself.

The situation with his mother was a frustrating one, because he knew in his heart of hearts that she would never leave Tobias no matter how desperately he wanted her to. She had lost her ties with her family. She had lost her dignity as a Slytherin and she had lost her will to move forward in the world of the hearing.

Reluctantly, he picked up Malfoy's letter.

_Snape,_

_I have been informed by Avery and Mulciber that you have been turning against your own house in the past few days. It appears as if you are no longer interested in joining the Dark Lord's cause. This may form a serious problem on your behalf, since the Dark Lord has already taken an interest in your talents._

_I wish to speak with you regarding my concern in the Hog's Head on your first Hogsmeade weekend._

_Lucius Malfoy_

Typical. Malfoy had always been a man who used others to work himself up. Severus's decision to turn against the cause after being talked about by Malfoy was certainly going to go against Malfoy's status with the Dark Lord.

Declining Malfoy's invitation would certainly result in his house mates turning entirely against him, but meeting Damocles was more important than Malfoy's concerns.

'Good morning, Mister Snape.'

Severus looked up from Malfoy's letter. Dumbledore was standing beside him with a steaming cup of tea in his hand.

'Good morning, Headmaster,' he replied.

Dumbledore sat down beside him. 'How has your first week back at school been so far?'

Severus looked up, searching for the right words to say. 'It's been an emotional ride to tell you the truth, sir.'

'Did you have any problems adapting?'

Severus shook his head. 'Not really. Although classes are quite simple, I won't deny that I've forgotten a thing or two in the past, so the revision doesn't bother me as much as I expected it to.'

'I am glad to hear that, Mister Snape. Any news on your plans to work with Mister Belby?'

'I do, as a matter of fact.' Severus showed him the letter that Damocles had sent him. 'It'll be a few weeks before I get to meet him, but it'll grant me some time to start collecting ingredients that I do remember off the top of my head.'

'Have you been to the room that Professor Slughorn has given you yet?'

'No not yet. I was planning on going there after breakfast to start setting things up.' Severus took a sip from his coffee. 'Professor, there's something else that you might like to see.'

He handed over the letter that Malfoy had written to him. After Dumbledore had read the letter through he let out a sigh. 'I had always hoped to see Mister Malfoy turn away from temptation, but I see now that the desire for power has gotten a hold on him too.'

Malfoy was definitely, even by now, a huge supporter of the Dark Lord. But Severus knew too, that despite Malfoy's devotion to the Dark Lord's cause, he loved his family more.

'Headmaster,' said Severus while lowering his voice. 'Does the Order of the Phoenix already exist?'

Dumbledore nodded. 'It does. What is it that you are implying?'

'Is there a way for me to join?'

Dumbledore's eyes started to twinkle. 'I wouldn't dare doubt your abilities or acknowledge the fact that you could be a useful asset to the Order, Mister Snape, but unfortunately like any other student, you still have the trace on you. Being a part of such a group as a minor would only result in trouble with the ministry.'

Though feeling slightly disappointed, Severus had also expected such an answer. 'Could I at the time I come of age, sir?'

'You may, and if you are wise, it isn't just yourself that you bring along once the time is right.' Dumbledore stood up. 'Good luck with your potions lab, Mister Snape,' and like that he left the Slytherin table.

If he had to wait until he no longer had the trace on him, it meant he would not be able to join until the winter of his sixth year. That would be a long time from now. Too long, if it were up to him.

Starting up his own group like Potter had done was becoming more alluring each time something would set him back from working against the war. Only problem was, Potter already had a lot of friends and followers by that time; all he had was Lily.

The thought of setting up his own rebellion group within the castle didn't leave his mind until he reached the fake wall that hid a corridor down in the dungeons. Once he passed through the wall, he saw a large oaken door decorated with brass on his left hand side.

He used the key he was given by Slughorn to open it and was pleased to see the way it looked on the inside.

The room (even the ceiling) was built in the fashion of the Slytherin common room. There was a large glass window between the room and the lake, allowing a greenish glow to shimmer throughout.

A large stone fireplace kept the room warm. The walls were decorated with tapestries of Hogwarts through the centuries and dark wooden bookshelves adorned a corner of the room, sheltering a heavy looking desk.

The few books that were left on the shelves were all potions related. Severus had the feeling that the room had once before been used as a private brewing room. Either way, he now had his own personal place to brew and study. A thing he had definitely started to miss from when he had his own private room as a teacher.

It was time to bring all of his potion ingredients and supplies here.

He couldn't wait to show it to Lily.


	14. The Lake Inside the Potions Lab

'What do you think?'

After dinner, he had managed to convince Lily to break free from her homework spree and had taken her to his remodeled potions lab.

'This is beautiful Sev!' She said as she pressed her hands against the glass window. 'I had no idea you could actually see what's below the great lake down here.'

'There's an even bigger window in the Slytherin common room. The giant squid likes to drop by from time to time to say hello.'

The thought of that made Lily smile. 'I like what you've turned it into Sev, it's very…cozy.'

'Cozy?'

'Not what you were going for?'

'No, I was more aiming for a boring potions lab,' he said sarcastically.

Throughout the day, Severus had started to collect basic ingredients from around the castle and preserve them in jars on the shelves. The open fireplace was perfect for a cauldron to brew on, and the desk was now cluttered with all the potion books he had found on the shelves.

The potion ingredient box Lily had given him a few years prior was now safely stored away among the stocked jars.

'What's the first thing we should brew?' Lily asked as she sat down cross-legged on the floor by the window. 'What could students possibly need that they're willing to pay money for?'

'Lots of things, such as the Draught of Peace and Baruffio's brain elixir, but those won't be useful until the exams are coming up. Surprisingly, it's the easy things that most students are after, such as cough and pepper-up potions.'

'How would you know what students would be interested in?'

'I-I asked around.' Fortunately Lily didn't seem to take notice of his slip-up.

'You'd sort of expect students to want things like invisibility or love potions.'

'No. No absolutely not.'

'What not?'

'Brew love potions. There are many things that I am willing to do but not that.'

'What? Got a bad experience with it?' Lily said teasingly.

'No, it's not that.' Severus sat down beside her and looked her in the eye. 'I just don't believe you should ever be forced to fall in love with someone.'

Lily let her hair hang down, obscuring her rosy cheeks. 'You're right Sev. I hadn't thought of that.'

'That's okay. I was thinking about starting off with a supply of memory potions, but we'll need Jobberknoll feathers for that which we can get during our next care of magical creatures class.'

'Jobberknoll?'

'It's a bird.'

'Not related to the menacing Jabberwocky by any chance?'

'Oh haha, not every creature thought up by muggles exists in our world Lily.'

'Ey, a girl can hope,' Lily said with a laugh. She laid down on her back beside the window, staring at the water plants as they drifted in the current.

'Sev, could you tell me a story about Hogwarts?'

Severus was surprised by her question. 'You haven't asked me to do that in years.'

'I know, but I like hearing you talk about it.'

'Alright then.' Severus laid down beside her on his stomach, as they had so often done on the grass by the riverbank. Him telling stories about Hogwarts and magic and her drinking it all in as if, quite literally, a new world had opened up to her.

'Would the lady like to hear a story about a secret room?'

'Aren't we in a secret room?'

'I mean another, more magical room,' he said mysteriously. 'A room commonly known as the come and go room.'

Lily's green eyes reflected in the light of the lake. 'Tell me all about it, Sev, and I will listen.'

...

When Sunday came, Severus found himself not only in the presence of Lily, but also Mary, Alice, and Frank. It was a particularly hot day and they found a spot in the shade underneath a tree by the lake.

Although Mary still didn't seem too fond of him being around Lily again, Alice didn't seem to mind at all. Though maybe it was because she had more attention on Frank than anyone else.

'Have you ever had a girlfriend, Snape?' Mary asked him as they turned away from the snogging couple.

Not quite knowing how to respond to that, Severus quickly hid his face behind a curtain of his hair.

'Oh don't embarrass him, Mary,' said Lily with a scowl. 'Sev doesn't like talking about relationships.'

Damn straight he didn't. The last thing his adult mind wanted to deal with were conversations on love among teenagers.

'Sorry Snape. I was just curious.'

'It's alright McDonald,' said Severus as he waved it off. 'Lily's right, I don't like to talk about these things. Which reminds me Lily, there's something that I forgot to tell you last night.'

Lily looked up at him and took it as a sign to go somewhere a bit more private.

'I'll be back soon,' she whispered to Mary, who was looking at the snogging couple in annoyance.

'You better be,' she grumbled.

When they had reached a more private place along the lake Severus started talking. 'My mum wrote to me that my father lost his job at the factory.'

Lily clasped her hands in front of her mouth. She knew what it meant for his family if their only source of income was gone.

'Oh Sev,' she said with a broken voice. 'Will Eileen be alright?'

'I hope so,' he replied while staring at the ground. He felt his palms starting to get sweaty. 'I want to send her some of money that I intend to make with the potions lab so she can get by at least.'

'Sev, it isn't the money that you need to worry about. It's her safety.'

'How can I possibly protect her when I'm here?' His voice sounded unearthed. Lost in a wave of emotions he had not felt in a long time.

Lily seemed to think hard and long before she could answer. 'Could you ask Professor Slughorn to help you with this?' She paused. 'Is that something you would want to do together?'

'I want to write mum first and see how she responds. I don't want her to deal with authorities or anything else when I am not around.'

'This is a very serious problem Sev—Sev you're shaking.'

Severus hadn't realised how much the death of his mother had affected him in his past life. By then, he had already turned himself against everything in the muggle world and that included his own family. His own mother, because he had given up on trying to save her.

He was not going to give in this time.

From beneath his hair, he could feel a small freckled hand reaching out and gently wipe away a tear from underneath his eye. 'Whatever it is you need to do to help your mum, I'll be there to help you okay?'

He didn't want her to stop touching him, but a voice calling out to him brought him back to the present.

'Snivellus!'

Potter, along with his tribe of scum had approached them. Aside from Lupin, they all had their wands out.

Quicker than a flash of light, Lily had spread out her arms in front of Severus, shielding him from whatever the marauders were planning on doing with him.

'What is the meaning of this!?' Lily spat.

'Holy shit! Is he crying?' Sirius said in a laughable way.

'That's none of your concern, Black,' Lily said with a voice full of venom.

'Is he bothering you Evans?' Potter asked her casually.

'Will you ever get it into that thick head of yours that Sev might just be my _best_ friend?'

'Lily it's—'

'Shut up Sev! How is it you four always know where he is?' Lily's angry glare was electrifying. 'Answer me!'

'Now that's a secret we prefer to keep amongst ourselves,' Pettigrew responded.

'Lily, please just let me handle this.' Despite the sudden interruption during their intimate moment, Severus felt calm.

Once Lily let down her arms, he took a step forward and stood beside her. 'What is it you're asking Potter?'

'I just don't understand why all of a sudden you have turned away from all of your Death Eater friends. I don't trust you or your motives.'

'Fair enough Potter, I wouldn't trust me either. Now, if you please, you may lower your wand.'

'Why would I want to lower my wand, Snape?' Potter spat.

'Because there's a lady beside me that I prefer not to fall victim to the feud between you and I.'

Lily raised her eyebrows in confusion at his words. Potter and Pettigrew lowered their wands without a word. Black however, did not.

'As I said, Potter, you have every right not to trust me.'

'What's going on here?'

Mary, with a particularly sour look on her face, had arrived.

'Sorry it took a while Mary,' Lily said to her pleadingly. 'We were…interrupted.'

'You better be. I'm pretty sure those two are doing a lot more than just snogging at the moment.' Her face turned a little white at the mentioning of it.

'Lily, just go with Mary. I'll be alright.'

Lily gave him a determined nod with her head and left with Mary to hear her vent on what Alice and Frank had been doing while they were gone.

'Any last words, Potter?'

Potter's warrior stance softened up. 'If you really care for Evans, Snape, promise me that you'll protect her. Way too many muggle borns have gone missing lately. I don't want to see anything bad happen to her.'

'Your concern flatters me Potter and I can assure you that she will be safe for as long as she is with me.'

Before Potter had the chance to respond, he turned around with a swirl and left the marauders to themselves by the edge of the lake.

'Oh and Potter,' Severus said as he turned around to face them one more time. 'You might want to keep your dog on a leash from now on. I don't like it when he points his wand at women.'


	15. The Start of Something New

'Over the past two days you've called me a lady, twice,' Lily giggled.

'Does it bother you?' Severus inquired.

'Well no, it's just—I'm not used to you being such a gentleman.'

Lily shielded her face, which had turned a bright shade of red, behind her defense against the dark arts book.

Severus decided to toss some oil on the fire and asked, 'but are you not becoming a lady then?'

'Oh shut up Sev—'

They were having their first Monday defense against the dark arts lesson. The students were distracted observing a Grindylow, leaving room for talking without being interrupted.

'We should've covered these creatures in third year,' Severus said irritably.

'It's not the teacher's fault we're so far behind Sev.' Lily put her book down after she felt confident enough that her face was no longer the same shade as her hair.

'What happened to the "defense part of Defense Against the Dark Arts,' Severus continued to complain. 'There's a bloody war on the rise and all we're learning is why not to cuddle Grindylows.'

'Should we petition to start up a dueling club?'

Severus remembered how disastrous it had been the last time the dueling club had been reestablished. 'I think it would be wiser to start up our own defense group and invite people in that are genuinely interested.'

'That sounds great, but who would be able to lead us then? We need a teacher who can genuinely teach us what it's like to attack and protect yourself on the battlefield.'

If only she could understand just how much experience he had on the battlefield. There was so much that he wanted to teach her before their graduation, but how could he do that without raising suspicion? All his knowledge on defensive and offensive spells extended far beyond what any fifth year student should be capable of.

'Lily, do you think some of your friends might be interested in forming a group?'

'I think so. I'm pretty sure Frank and Alice would, since Frank won't stop talking about becoming an auror and Alice is also taking it into consideration.'

Severus looked her in the eye. 'I think I have found a solution.'

'Do tell.'

'What if Frank would be willing to lead us? He knows a lot when it comes to defense, so why not have him teach us what he knows?'

'Sev, that's brilliant. Just come and join us at the Gryffindor table tonight and we'll discuss it with them. I think Mary would be interested too.'

'Snape.'

Rosier had escaped from the circle that was formed around the Grindylow tank and stood next to Severus.

'Can I speak to you in private for a moment?'

'I have a suspicion on what it is that you are going to tell me and it is perfectly okay for Lily to hear as well.'

Rosier looked over at Lily a little hesitantly, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and lowered his voice. 'I spoke with Dumbledore last night.'

'Good. And what did he tell you?'

'That I'll be safe as long as I'm at Hogwarts and that he will protect me if I'm ever in need protection.'

Severus nodded in approval. 'Well done Rosier and I'll be here too if you need me.'

'Thanks Snape,' Rosier said genuinely. 'I could use it since I have no idea what is going to happen to me if my family finds out.'

Rosier rejoined the circle around the Grindylow tank, leaving behind a satisfied looking Severus and a confused looking Lily.

'Sev, what was that all about?'

Severus leaned over and whispered in her ear. 'He's turning against the Dark Lord. Which is not an easy feat since his entire family consists of supporters.'

'That's very brave of him,' she whispered back.

...

At dinner, Severus had asked Frank to join him at the Gryffindor table. Mary, Alice, Frank, and Lily were now surrounding him at the edge of the table, looking at him attentively.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable, Severus started to talk about his plan.

'Lily and I came to the conclusion that our Defense Against the Dark Arts classes are not going to prepare us for what's going on outside these walls. So, we came up with the idea to form our own defense group.'

'Oh that's a brilliant idea Snape,' Frank said enthusiastically. 'The lack of proper training offered at school has been cringe worthy lately. How do you plan on doing it?'

'I wanted to ask you to lead it, Longbottom. I know about your ambition to become an auror, and we could use someone with at least some level of expertise.'

Frank's eyes lit up. 'I would love to teach defense to everyone here. Only problem is, it's going to take me a while to prepare since I'm not familiar with all the basics yet. And then there's also the tons of homework we're getting and quidditch practice…'

'We've got time,' Lily said. 'It'll give us room to find more people who would be willing to join us and find a secure place where we could meet up to practice.'

Frank was smiling to himself as if he had just hit a jackpot. 'This is wonderful,' he said almost dreamily. 'I'm going to write my father and see if he has any suggestions on what could be beneficial to learn.'

He kissed Alice goodnight and dashed off towards the Hufflepuff common room, ready to compose a letter to his father right away.

The plan had worked. By giving the authority to Frank, Severus no longer had to worry about exposing his abnormally extensive knowledge on wizarding warfare. All he needed to do now was keep a low profile and throw a suggestion or two to Frank that could be considered useful to know.

He also didn't mind that it would be several weeks before Frank would be able to start. He still hadn't visited the room of requirement and wanted to see for himself if it would be a good place for practice or not.

'Do you think the marauders might be interested in joining?' Mary asked.

Severus nearly spat out his pumpkin juice. 'What on earth makes you think they would want to join a group that I'm a part of?'

Mary shrugged. 'I know Potter wants to become an auror. I don't know about the other three but at least they all want to fight against you-know-who once they leave school.'

Severus had to draw a deep breath in order to contain himself. 'I'm afraid that if they join it'll just turn into a big playground rather than a serious defense group.'

'We could at least ask Lupin,' Alice suggested. 'He may be a marauder but at least he's not a total arse like the rest of them.'

'Maybe we could ask Pettigrew as well,' Lily added. 'He may not be the most sharp witted bloke but he's not stupid either. And he's very outspoken against you-know-who's regime, too.'

A rage, unmatched to anything he had felt in a long time had started to boil up inside of him. Hearing Lily say that Pettigrew, the filthy rat who had sold Lily out and resulted in her death, was outspoken against the Dark Lord's ideologies felt like a stab in the heart.

'Are you okay Sev? You're sweating.'

'Yes, yes I'm fine,' he gritted through his teeth.

He may not be able to beat the living daylight out of Pettigrew without getting kicked out of school, so the next best thing would be to try and beat some confidence in the little rat instead.

'You know what ladies, you should ask those two to join. The more people we have the better right?'

'Okay, we'll go do that tonight,' said Alice. 'Any other people we could potentially recruit?'

Severus looked over at the Slytherin table, where Rosier was talking boastfully to a couple of girls. 'Evan Rosier,' he stated. 'he's going to need it.'

'Anyone else?' Lily asked.

A little further down the Slytherin table was Regulus, absentmindedly picking at his food.

'Regulus Black.'

'What?!' All three women cried out.

'No, he's such a prick,' whined Mary.

'Yes, he may be a prick but his big brother also desperately wants to keep him away from the lure of the Dark Arts.'

'What is it that you're trying to imply, Sev?'

'What I'm trying to say is, that if I can somehow convince Regulus Black to join our group, he may become a useful insider. He has already shown doubt about the Dark Lord's plans. Perhaps I can convince him to turn against it entirely.'

'Smart thinking, Snape,' said Mary.

'No guarantees, but a man like Regulus could be useful to Dumbledore's Order.'

'How come you're familiar with Dumbledore's Order?' Lily asked in surprise.

'I could ask you the same thing.'

'Because of Molly. She's kept in touch with us ever since she graduated. We're her new recruits by the time we graduate.'

So Lily had already given up on her dream of becoming a healer.

'Molly who?'

'Molly Weasley of course. She used to be called Prewett until she married Arthur Weasley.'

Ah, the woman who spawned seven ginger children. 'How come you never told me you were planning on joining a rebellion?'

'How could I if it meant I could end up fighting against you,' said Lily sadly.

Severus didn't know what to say to that, so he just bumbled an apology instead.

'Lily, when did you give up on your dream of becoming a healer?'

'The moment I found out that if I don't fight back, there will be nothing left to live for.'


	16. The Jobberknoll

After class, Severus and Lily had retreated into the potions lab with their instruments. Practice would have to wait a little longer though, as Lily insisted on him writing a letter to his mother first.

The main concern in his letter was the question whether she was safe at home now that his father had lost his job and if she needed any form of support. Once they were both satisfied with the way the letter read, Severus sealed it with wax and left it on the desk to send off by owl post later.

'I can't wait to start brewing tomorrow,' Lily said as she followed around a fish in the lake. 'Do you have any idea how you are going to start selling?'

'It's simple really,' Severus said with a smirk from behind the desk. 'All you need to do is have a loud boastful conversation about what you're selling in front of a few Hufflepuffs, and the whole school will know about it in no time.'

'Do you really believe Hufflepuffs are such blabbermouths?'

'No, but they are know for having this unequivocal desire to help anyone who's in need. So, if we spill some information on making memory potions and such, those Hufflepuffs will be our greatest asset.'

'Smart arse.'

'You know I'm right.'

'Want to splay some music?'

'Yes I do.'

Severus got up and took the bass out of its case. In all those years he hadn't played he had forgotten how much he had loved making music. It was a thing that had brought him and Lily closer together, learning how to play songs from their favorite bands. It had been a way to forget about the darkness that was slowly taking over the wizarding world.

'So what do you think? Pink Floyd, Judas Priest, Scorpions…' inquired Lily.

'How about some Led Zeppelin?' After messing around with some scales during their last music lesson, it was the only band Severus could slightly recall some of their songs.

'I like the sound of that.'

'I've missed doing this with you Lily,' Severus said as they were tuning their strings.

Lily looked up at him and smiled. 'So did I Sev. So did I.'

...

The next day after their care of magical creatures class, they had managed to get their hands on a good supply of blue speckled Jobberknoll feathers. This was partially due to the help of Professor Kettleburn himself, as he was still grateful that Severus had managed to catch the Snidget a week prior.

'Funny creatures those Jobberknolls,' Lily said as they made their way to the potions lab. 'They don't produce a single sound until the moment of its death. Then it repeats everything it has ever heard backwards.'

'There's a reason why their feathers are also used in truth serums,' Severus said as he opened the door of the lab. 'Their magical property is that no secret is revealed until it is time to pass it on.'

'Fascinating,' Lily said as she safely stored away the feathers in the box she had given him. 'Would you like to try and make some truth serum as well?'

'I suppose it can't hurt to have some on hand.'

'Before I forget to tell you Sev,' Lily said with a twinkle in her eye. 'There's something I did that is probably going to speed up the sales process.'

'Do tell,' Severus said as he put up a cauldron on the fire.

'I talked to Frank about our not-yet-existing potions supply and needless to say he was quite enthusiastic about it.'

Severus looked up at her and grinned. 'You clever, clever girl.'

'And here I am thinking I was a lady,' Lily said teasingly as she sat down beside him. She had the potions box, along with several other ingredients and a supply of glass phials all prepped for the brewing.

'You will always be a lady to me Lily,' Severus said sincerely.

Even in the dim light of the lab, Lily's cheeks were clearly flushed. 'I don't know what happened to you over the past summer Sev, but I like that you are no longer distant with me.'

Severus shrugged. 'Maybe it's because I am becoming a man.'

...

The weather was growing colder once October arrived, and the first wave of students were starting to demand pepper-up potions. Lily's little conversation with Frank had worked, because their potion business had been good so far.

Severus had also managed to find the recipe for Felix Felicis. With Lily, they had been harvesting as many ingredients as they could, though a few would have to wait, as they could only be harvested during a full moon or when it was covered in snow. By his calculations, he would be able to begin his attempt at brewing it after Christmas and it would be finished shortly before the end of the year.

Severus's mother had written back to him asking, if not pleading, not to send any money out of fear that Tobias might find out. It had taken all his strength not to do it anyway, but he decided that it would be better to listen to her as he didn't want her to get in trouble.

Frank, too, had come with the message that his father had written to him about potential things they could learn in a proper defense against the dark arts class. Severus and Frank had made the deal to start the week after Hallowe'en. It would buy Frank more time to prepare lessons, and it would buy Severus more time to create a list of people willing to participate. Also, due to the piles of homework along with his and Lily's potion brewing, he hadn't had the time to check on the room of requirement to see if it was an appropriate place to practice.

Severus had kept a close eye on Lupin, who had gone through his first transformation at school near the end of September. Mary had told him that she and Lily had managed to convince him to join the defense group, though probably under the impression that Lupin could use some proper lessons in self-defense. Severus knew Lily would be too naïve to believe that Lupin was a werewolf, so only time could reveal his true nature.

It had been easy to convince Rosier to join the defense group. Rosier had grown weary lately, afraid that the secret of his rebellion against the Dark Lord would be exposed. Severus understood that Rosier's situation was a dangerous one. Possibly even more dangerous than the one that he had gotten himself into. He may have a house that was turning against him, but Rosier also had a family to worry about.

Regulus, sadly, had not been so easy. He didn't want to join any group that his brother wasn't allowed into. That immediately ended his attempt at getting Regulus involved.

Severus didn't know how much of his old time line had been affected in this new life, but he still hoped that even if Regulus could not be convinced, he would at least turn against the Dark Lord later in life. The problem, however, was that it would come at the cost of his life.

On Thursday, both Lily and Severus had received an invitation from Professor Slughorn to join him at his party on Hallowe'en. They both accepted. Lily because she genuinely enjoyed Slughorn's parties. Severus because he had promised Slughorn, when he met him in limbo, that he would join them. He didn't care much for parties, but he did care about the promise he had made.

By Friday after their astronomy class, Lily and Severus were once again sitting on the floor of the tower, smoking the last few cigarettes that Lily had stolen from Vernon. It had become a habit over the past few weeks to sneak away from the group and share a private moment among the stars.

'Things have been going so well lately,' Lily said happily as she laid down on her back. 'School is going well. Frank's defense group is coming off the ground. Our potions lab is doing great and you're making a lot of money off of it.'

Severus laid down on his stomach beside her, his hand supporting his head. 'We're making a lot of money off of it,' he corrected her.

Lily shook her head. 'I don't need the money Sev, but you do. Honestly, I'm more than happy to just help you out.'

He didn't quite know how to respond to that. He wished he could make her understand that none of this was going to last. That the war was growing and a rift would start to form in the wizarding world. That the safety of Hogwarts would at some point no longer be enough to protect them.

Lily turned on her side and faced him, imitating his posture by putting her hand underneath her head. 'You want to know what the best thing is that happened to me this year?'

Severus couldn't help but smile at her shimmering green eyes. 'Do tell.'

'That, after fearing that I had lost my best friend to the Dark Arts, I finally have him by my side again.'

 


	17. The Room Known as Come and Go

'It should be right here.'

Severus and Lily were facing a large stone wall at the end of the corridor on the seventh floor.

'Are you absolutely sure it's here Sev?'

'It has to be, I have seen it here before,' he said as he touched some of the stones.

'Any particular spell you need to use perhaps?'

'I don't think that's how it works,' he said with frustration. 'If I remember correctly there was a particular way of talking to it, except that I don't know what to say.'

'Open up,' Lily said to the wall in a feeble attempt, but the wall remained unmoved. 'Open up, we need a room to practice in,' she said, now smacking her hands against the wall. She leaned her head against the wall out of frustration. 'It feels like I'm trying to summon Bloody Mary out of thin air.'

As if a light had gone on inside his head, Severus had figured out the solution.

'Lily, you're a genius,' he said enthusiastically.

Lily shot him a stupid look. 'Is it something I said?'

'Bloody Mary, that was it!'

'Okay hold on,' she said as she stepped away from the wall with her hands up. 'The last thing I want is for some creepy ghost to come through the wall and open up some portal for me.'

'No that's not what I meant. What I meant is that you have to specifically ask three times what it is that you want. Hold on, let me try.'

He muttered 'I need a room to practice defense against the dark arts in' three times while pacing alongside the wall.

Dust started to shake itself off the furrows of the stones and a door, reassembling a much larger version of the door of their potions lab, had materialized on front of their eyes.

Lily was staring at it with a perplexed complexion. 'Woah,' was all she could say. 'That was brilliant.'

Severus had taken a hold of the door handle. 'Ready to take a look inside?'

The inside was the same height and size of a town's church. Piles upon piles of pillows were stacked against the walls and shelves were packed with books dedicated to defense against the dark arts. Anything they could possibly need was right here in this room.

'Sev, how come you've never shown this to me before?' Lily asked while looking around in wonder.

'I—I thought we weren't talking anymore when I found out,' he lied. 'And besides, I've had no real use for it until now.'

'Why haven't you thought about putting the potions lab here instead?'

'Because the lab needs to be secured. This place is perfect for practice but anyone who knows how to, will be able to get in.'

'Makes sense,' Lily said as she hugged one of the pillows. 'Do you want to go tell the others about this place?'

Severus shook his head. 'Let it be a surprise for when we start after Hallowe'en.'

...

Hallowe'en fell on a Friday, and classes were canceled for the day. Once again, Severus found himself sitting at the Gryffindor table during the feast.

'What is everyone going to do after the feast?' Mary asked to those who were sitting around her.

'Frank is going to take me down to the kitchens tonight for some late night snacks,' Alice said giggly.

'Snacks are probably not the only things that are going down there tonight,' Mary responded as she rolled her eyes. 'And what about you two?'

'Oh,' Lily, said as she swatted away a bat from her pumpkin pasty. 'Sev and I have been invited by Slughorn to join his party after the feast tonight.'

Mary raised her arms up in annoyance and slapped them down on the table. 'Do any of my friends ever have time for me anymore?' She sneered.

Lily shot her an apologetic look. 'Hold on, I've got an idea.'

She tore off a piece of her pasty and tossed it towards Pettigrew, hitting him square in the ear.

Pettigrew squeaked and looked over. 'What the hell…who did that?'

'Me,' Lily said dryly. 'What are you fine blokes up to tonight?'

Pettigrew shrugged. 'Nothing much yet, but I think Padfoot's made some plans for later. Why d'you ask?'

'Poor Mary here is a little lonely tonight since the rest of us already have plans. Could you please take her with you to whatever it is that you are going to do?'

'Sure, why not. The more people we got the more fun it'll be anyway.'

Pettigrew turned around again to talk to the other marauders and Mary gave Lily and appreciative nod. 'Thanks Lily.'

'No problem and uhm,' Lily leaned in a little closer to Mary, 'I know you got your eye on Potter,' she said with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 'At least now you got an excuse to spend some time with him.'

Fuck yes. Severus's heart made a little leap at Lily mentioning that Mary had an eye on Potter. Somewhere deep down inside, he hoped that Potter would catch on and went out with Mary, instead of consistently bothering Lily with his poor attempts at wooing her.

'Hey, Severus,' said Frank. They had grown used to addressing each other by their first names over the course of the past few weeks. 'Do you have anything formal to wear to Slughorn's party?'

Severus looked at him with wide eyes. 'No, should I?'

'Lily is. Would be a bit silly if she arrived looking all pretty and you're just standing there in your plain school robes.'

'But I don't own anything formal,' said Severus with a hint of shame. He had started to miss wearing the black robes he always wore as an adult.

'That's fine, you just come with me to the Hufflepuff common room and I'll give you something that you can wear.'

'But Frank, you're at least twice my size,' Severus blurted out in protest.

'Oh bloody hell Severus. Did you just forget that you're a wizard? We'll find a way to make it fit for you.'

Frank stood up from the table. 'Severus, finish up your chocolate spiders and Lily, make sure you are ready and down in the entrance hall by the time Severus and I come back.'

Severus stuffed his chocolate spiders in his mouth and quickly dashed off to follow Frank who had abruptly left the table. The corridor that led to the common room was opposite of the dungeons in the entrance hall and had up to now been the only common room Severus had never entered during his time as both a student and a teacher.

'Here is where the kitchens are hidden,' Frank said as he pointed at a large painting of a fruit bowl. 'Just tickle the pear and it'll let you right in.'

'I never knew that,' Severus said. Though technically a lie, he had also never bothered to actually visit the kitchens in all those years that he got to spend at Hogwarts. Maybe he would bring Lily down here someday, he thought to himself. Show her that those boasting marauders and their food nicking from the kitchens wasn't such a big deal after all.

They stopped in front of a pile of barrels on the right side of the kitchen portrait and Frank tapped one of the barrels in the rhythm of Helga Hufflepuff.

The lid swung open, revealing a round and sunny looking room.

'Do you like it?' Frank asked as he made his way to a round door that probably lead to the men's dormitories.

'I do,' Severus said looking around. 'It's quite…pleasant.'

To put it in muggle terms, the room reassembled what he had imagined a hobbit hole to look like. With a low ceiling, lots of wooden furniture clad in yellow and black, and magical windows that spread light as if it were an early summer morning, it had to be the coziest place in the castle he had ever encountered.

'Just follow me to the dormitory, Severus.'

The dormitory was nothing short of the coziness that the rest of the common room came with. He looked at the copper bed-warmers hanging on the side of the bed and wondered why Slytherin never bothered with such things. Hufflepuff may get a lot of shit from the other houses, but they certainly had the best common room in the castle.

Frank pulled out a black three-piece suit that greatly reassembled the nineteen-forties. 'Here's a mirror. Go change and I'll wait behind the door until you're ready.'

Once he got dressed up in Frank's suit, he took a good look in the mirror. It was more muggle fashion than wizard, but he felt surprisingly comfortable in it.

'Mind if I come in?' Frank's muffled voice asked from behind the door.

'Sure, come in.'

Frank immediately noticed that the shoulders were a bit too wide and started performing his magic.

'How come you know how to do this?'

'Mum's a tailor on Diagon Alley, so she taught me a thing or two. Not that she likes to be called just a tailor though, she also taught me how to duel. Feisty woman, my mother.'

'Is her name Augusta by any chance?'

'Yes it is, have you met her before?'

'I think she measured up some things for me before.'

She hadn't, of course. But he could never forget how that Longbottom boy, Frank and Alice's future son, had been so afraid of him that his boggart had turned into him while wearing his grandmother's clothing.

'There, all done. All you need now is a top hat and a cane.'

'As much as I appreciate your gesture to lend me your suit, I think I'll leave those two things out, but thank you.'

Frank laughed. 'Don't worry, I don't own either of those.'

Together they walked back to the entrance hall. Lily hadn't arrived yet.

'I'm going back to Alice. Have fun tonight Severus.'

'Thank you for helping me out Frank, I really appreciate it,' said Severus, blushing a little despite himself.

'No problem, see you around.' And like that Frank left Severus behind to wait on Lily.

Though technically this wasn't anything like a date, nor was it meant to be one, he couldn't help but feel a little uplifted at the prospect of having Lily by his side, spending the evening with him.

It was going to be a good night tonight.


	18. Panic at Hallowe'en

Severus couldn't help but laugh when Lily came walking down the stairs. She was wearing a long and wide multi-coloured dress and her already big curly hair fell down in large waves over her shoulders. There was no doubt she had to use some potions to keep it all in place.

Through all the hassle of returning from the dead, he had nearly forgotten that he had also returned to the seventies. Though not as noticeable at Hogwarts, the muggle world was currently flourishing with bright colours and flowery patterns and Lily was no exception to that.

'What are you laughing at?' She demanded in a bossy tone.

'I forgot just how big your hair could be,' he said with a grin.

Lily playfully flicked a lock of his hair with her fingers. 'And I forgot how stringy yours could be.'

Lily took a good look at him. 'I'll admit, you look quite dapper in a three-piece suit.'

'I got Frank to thank for that.'

'Are you sure you want to do this, Sev?'

'Well of course, why wouldn't I?'

'Because you've been avoiding Slughorn's parties ever since we received our first invitation. He's always asking for you, you know.'

'I know and that's why I've decided that I will go this time. Ready?'

They made their way to Slughorn's office and for the first time since his death, Severus got to set foot inside his old office. Things weren't that different from when he inhabited it since he hadn't bothered to change anything after Slughorn's retirement. An odd sense of nostalgia washed over him. His office had been his home longer than his home at Spinner's End and secretly he missed the privacy that came with having a small part of the castle entirely to himself.

It was crowded. Too crowded.

'Hello!' said Slughorn's jolly voice from behind them. 'I didn't expect to see you here Severus. How wonderful of you to come.'

'I did promise didn't I, professor,' said Severus while shaking his hand.

'Please feel free to mingle with the guests. The keeper from Moldova's national quidditch team is here,' he said while pointing at a guest in the back, 'and Bartimus Crouch is over there. Quite a decorated auror from the ministry's magical law enforcement department. Do make yourselves at home.'

'I'm going to look for some crystallised pineapple before it's all gone,' Lily said to Severus and disappeared in the crowd.

Severus stood alone in the corner, observing all the guests. Barty Crouch Jr. wasn't even attending Hogwarts yet, so that was one burden lessened off his shoulders.

Lily came back with a plate full of crystallised pineapple. 'Try one Sev, they're really good.'

Severus took one just to keep Lily happy, but for some odd reason he was losing his appetite at a rapid speed.

'Sev,' Lily said with a mouth full of pineapple, 'I just bumped into Rosier at the snack table. I think I'm going to have a little chat with him since he's probably also going to join our defense group.'

'That's fine. That's perfectly fine.'

'Are you okay, you seem a little tense?'

'I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine,' he responded stiffly. 'I'll stay here and see if I can find some familiar faces.'

'Okay, I'll be over there if you need me,' Lily said while pointing at the snack table across the room and like that, Severus was standing by himself against the wall of his old office.

For a reason he did not quite understand, Severus dropped his slice of pineapple. He was starting to feel weak in his limbs and a harsh chill shivered down his spine. It was a sensation he had never felt before.

The noise in the room started to become overwhelming, making his head spin and his heart start to race. Shaken by his sudden loss of control, he ran out of the office and leaned against a cold stone wall a little further down in the dungeons once his legs could no longer carry him.

He collapsed on the floor and held his head down by pulling his hair, while trying to rock himself to sanity as a sense of terror washed over him.

He didn't understand what was happening and felt a wave of nausea rise up in him. The cold sweat had started to creep through his suit. What confused him even more was there were no tears leaking out of his eyes, as if he had no reason at all to be upset. He felt as if the end of his life was coming to him again, like an invisible dementor draping its cloak over his body, shielding him from any light in the world.

'Severus,' a calm voice said in the distance, but his mind didn't grasp who it was as a body sat down in front of him. 'Is it okay if I touch you?'

A stifled grunt was all he was able to produce, not understanding the question at all. Two large calloused hands folded around his own, and gently tried to untangle them from his hair.

'Listen to me, Severus, can you do that?'

He managed to produce a stiff nod of understanding. 'I need you to breathe in deeply and let go when I tell you to.'

He did as he was told, squeezing the hands that were holding him roughly as he exhaled. After several attempts, his breathing gradually grew steady.

'Can you look up at me?'

It was the first time he realized that it was Slughorn that was sitting in front of him. A deep expression of concern was etched onto his face.

'Try to keep looking at me Severus.'

Without understanding why, trying to look up was harder than trying to steady his breath.

'I'm going to take you to Madam Pomfrey so she can look after you tonight. I will come back here and then I'll bring Miss Evans with me to the hospital wing. Does that sound like a good idea?'

Severus nodded in agreement. With more strength then he expected, Slughorn lifted him back up on his feet while letting Severus lean against him.

With much stumbling, they reached the hospital wing together. Madam Pomfrey was already waiting for him with a fresh set of pajamas.

'You're in good hands now. I'm going to fetch Miss Evans for you okay?'

'Thank you,' Severus muttered softly.

'Don't worry about it for now son, just rest.'

Slughorn left him on the hospital bed that Madam Pomfrey had him sit on. Without asking further questions, the matron checked his vitals but didn't seem to find anything out of the ordinary.

'Feel free to change whenever you're ready,' she said, then disappeared behind the curtains.

With slightly shaking hands and a mind as blank as a sheet of parchment, he changed out of his suit and into the hospital pajamas. Once he lay down, all he wanted was for Lily to come over. It felt like an eternity before she arrived.

'Hey Sev,' she said with a small voice.

'Hey Lily,' he replied, feeling his voice slowly return to him.

She sat down beside him in a chair and gently stroked his sweaty hair. He felt himself relax a little at her touch. 'What the hell happened Sev?' She whispered to him.

Madam Pomfrey had returned to come and check on him. 'Feeling a little better there, Mister Snape?'

'I do,' he said as he tried to sit up straight. Lily helped him by adding a few extra cushions under his head.

'Would you like to know what happened to you?'

Both Severus and Lily nodded in agreement to her question.

'Professor Slughorn told me that you had a panic attack. Have you ever had one of those before?'

Severus shook his head.

'Basically what happened is that you got a sudden, overwhelming feeling of fear, which caused you to start shaking and feeling out of control. Does that sound familiar?'

'Yes, that's exactly what happened.'

'There isn't much that I can do for you sadly, but what I can do is give you a potion for a dreamless sleep if you wish. Hopefully this was a once only kind of thing, but if it does happen again Mister Snape, please don't hesitate to come back.'

'I will,' he said as she handed him the purple potion.

'Feel free to take it whenever you want and Miss Evans, I'm fine with you staying here for a little while. However, you need to be up in your dormitory by midnight like anyone else on this day, is that understood?'

'I understand,' said Lily. 'Thanks ma'am.'

Madam Pomfrey left the two of them alone, giving them some privacy behind the curtain.

'I suppose you don't want to talk about it right now,' Lily said as she went back to stroking his hair.

'No I don't. I'm too tired to think straight,' said Severus with great difficulty.

'Is there anything I can do for you before I have to leave?'

'How much time have you got?'

'At least another hour.'

'Then it's your turn to tell me a story.'

Lily chuckled. 'You know I'm horrible at telling stories.'

'Oh I'm sure you can tell me a story about magic.'

Lily had to think for a moment to come up with something that she could possibly talk about, until it occurred to her that it was still Hallowe'en and started telling the story.

'During our first year here, on this very day, we escaped the feast in the great hall and climbed up to the astronomy tower. I didn't quite understand the meaning of Hallowe'en, so you started telling me all about how bats were once considered a sign of a bad omen and pumpkins were the representation of the souls of the dead.'

Severus smiled up at her, fighting against the sleep that was overpowering him.

'The thing that always stuck with me the most though, was you talking about the bonfires as they symbolized the ending of summer. That on Hallowe'en it is believed that the veil between our world and that of the spirit world is thinnest and that the fires were meant to ward off the bad spirits.'

He closed his eyes, feeling her small hand still running through his hair.

'It is the day that the dead walk among us once more and I think that's a beautiful thing.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Severus and Lily's conversation about Hallowe'en bonfires and the spirit world is a reference to my very first FF "Hallowe'en 1981".  
> A/N Severus will have PTSD in this story. The main reason for this is because my ex-husband was in the military and I got to experience firsthand what it's like to live with someone that suffers from the terrors of war. Of course everyone's experience with PTSD varies, so I'm going by what I know.


	19. Muggle Chemicals to Fight Lycanthropy

The sun was shining through the high windows of the hospital wing. Severus woke early, not used to the amount of sunlight that the Slytherin common room so conspicuously lacked. It took a while before the memories of last night came rolling back to him, but the unused bottle of dreamless sleep potion on the bedside table brought it all back.

Although the hospital bed was warm and comfortable, he wanted to make his way back to the dormitories and change into wizarding robes. Today he was going to meet Damocles Belby at the Three Broomsticks and he didn't want to be late for that. Making sure that Madam Pomfrey didn't see him, he put on Frank's suit and snuck away.

To his annoyance, he found Avery and Mulciber awake in their dormitory.

'Well look who's back,' Mulciber sneered. 'Where you been Snape?'

'I don't think that's any of your concern, Mulciber,' Severus spat back.

'Little touchy are we? I bet you were with that mudblood girlfriend of yours. Probably feeling her up in some empty classroom.'

Without hesitation, Severus grabbed the nearest potions phial he could find and tossed it at Mulciber's head, missing him by only an inch.

Though shocked, a grin formed on Mulciber's face. 'I'll take that as a yes.'

Before Mulciber could say any more, Severus walked to the bathroom and soaked himself under a hot shower.

Mulciber and Avery, though Mulciber in particular, were starting to form a problem. The fact that Malfoy would also be in Hogsmeade today only made matters worse, as he was sure that the three of them would meet up and he wasn't going to be there himself.

He had the ill sense of foreboding that today was going to form a bridge between the Dark Lord and him. A bridge that would divide them, yet unmistakably connect them, just like it had in his previous life.

He was as connected to the war as all rivers are connected to the sea. It would always come back to that point. It always did.

Upon returning from the showers, he was relieved the see that Avery and Mulciber had left and Rosier had woken up.

'You doing okay mate?'

'I'm alright,' Severus answered while drying his hair with a towel.

'Last night Evans and I were talking about that defense group you were planning on setting up when Slughorn interrupted us. He told us something had happened to you.'

'It is true I wasn't feeling well. I hope you don't mind but I prefer not to talk about it.'

'Oh that's okay, it's not my place to know. Say Snape, do you have a location yet for the defense group?'

'I do. Tomorrow I'm going to pay everyone who wanted to join a visit and tell them where to meet up.'

'Spiffing. I promised Vanity I'd meet up with her for quidditch practice. See you around Snape.'

Feeling refreshed, Severus made his way to the great hall for breakfast when Lily came running up to him.

'Sev!' She shrieked, 'where the hell did you go?'

'I just came back from the dormit—'

'—I meant from the hospital wing you daft idiot.' Lily had her hands on her hips and her eyes had turned to slits. 'I was just there to come and see you, only to hear from Madam Pomfrey that you just took off.'

Severus, always amused when Lily got angry, felt the need to say something witty in return.

'You look an awful lot like my mother when you look at me like that.'

Lily's eyebrows reached her hairline. 'I remind you of your mother…'

'Yes. Short and bossy, with an emphasis on short.'

'Oh you _arsehole_ ,' she gritted through her teeth as her small fist bumped into his collarbone. 'You thickheaded little—'

'—No, the only little one here is you,' Severus said teasingly. He knew the damage was done when her face turned as red as her hair.

'By your witty remarks I can tell you're doing much better,' she hissed. 'But you better make this up to me when we go to Hogsmeade Severus Snape.'

Lily turned around on the balls of her heels. 'Now if you'll excuse me, I need to eat.'

Severus followed her to the Gryffindor table, and with a pang he realised that he had forgotten to tell her that he was supposed to meet up with Damocles.

'Lily, I'm afraid I must disappoint you,' he said carefully as he piled kippers onto his plate.

'What is it, Sev?'

'I can walk up to Hogsmeade with you but I can't spend the day with you there.'

Lily shot him a look of disappointment that made him feel slightly guilty on the inside. 'There's something I forgot to tell you.'

'Do explain.'

'The reason why I was given the potions lab in the first place is because I came up with something that could be potentially groundbreaking.'

'Go on.'

'I'm meeting up with Damocles Belby. He's a famous potioneer and we're going to collaborate on something that both him and I have corresponded about.'

Lily dropped her toast from her hands. 'Sev, that's brilliant!'

'You think so? Because I was starting to think you were about to stab me with that butter knife for not telling you.'

'The fact that you are actually going to meet up with a famous potioneer overrules my desire to stab you Sev. This is incredible!'

Feeling rather pleased that Lily wasn't too angry with him, he started digging into his plate of kippers.

'What exactly is it that you came up with?' Lily asked.

Severus leaned in a little closer, not wanting to be overheard. 'A way for people who suffer from lycanthropy to keep their sanity, so they no longer form a danger to others and themselves.'

Lily shook her head as if she couldn't believe it. 'You never fail to amaze me Sev.'

Once they were on their way to Hogsmeade, Lily fell behind with Mary and Alice to talk about all the juicy details of last night's adventures, leaving Severus to walk up front with Frank.

'Did you have fun last night Severus?' Frank asked.

Grateful that Lily hadn't said a word to her friends about his panic attack, he started telling Frank that the party had been okay and that he had left early. 'I can give you your suit back once the house elves are done cleaning it,' he added.

'It's no rush. Have you found a place where we can practice yet?'

'In fact I did. I'll talk to everyone who wants to participate tomorrow and create a schedule based on that.'

'Where is this place if I may ask?'

'Seventh floor, but it has a secret entrance. I'm keeping it a surprise until we're ready.'

They had reached Hogsmeade and where Frank took a left, Severus took a right. 'Aren't you coming to Honeydukes with us, Severus?'

He shook his head. 'There's something that I need to do. Lily can fill you in. I'll see you all later!'

'Good luck Sev,' Lily called out to him as she turned the corner with her friends.

He quickly dashed off towards the Three Broomsticks, hoping that in case Malfoy was already around, he wouldn't be seen. It wasn't fear that made him want to avoid Malfoy at all costs, but rather the idea that his old intimidating demure that he had as a grownup, did not shine through his fifteen-year-old self.

To his annoyance, the Three Broomsticks was packed. He found a small table in a far corner of the room, which gave him a good overview of everything that was happening around him. As long as he had that, the noise wouldn't be too overwhelming.

'Severus Snape?' Someone called out. 'I'm looking for someone named Severus Snape?'

A man, much younger than Severus had expected, had entered the pub.

'Right over here Mister Belby!' Severus called out. 'I've saved you a seat.'

'It's good to meet you, Mister Snape,' he said as they shook hands.

'Please, call me Severus.'

'Then you may call me Damocles, Severus. It's something everybody does.'

Behind Damocles, the marauders had started to drip into the pub. At first Severus thought of it as yet another nuisance, but then another thought occurred to him.

He was in luck, as the marauders took a place close to where he was sitting. Now all he needed to do was talk loud enough for Lupin to hear that his conversation with Damocles regarding werewolves.

'I brought your letter with me Severus, and I must say I was quite impressed with your ground principles—'

Soon, as only two people who shared a common interest could, they were immersed in a heated discussion on particular potions ingredients.

'I brought something with me,' Damocles said, and he pulled out a glass tube filled with amber coloured liquid from his pocket.

'This is a chemical compound invented by muggles. They don't know what they could potentially do with it yet in their medical world, but I have found a use for it.'

Severus took the tube and looked at it with interested. 'What does it do?'

'It's a chemical that influences the neurons in the brain. If we can somehow create a potion around it that could steer the chemical in the right direction, we could try and keep the mind of the human intact inside of the werewolf.'

At the mention of the word "werewolf" Lupin nearly craned his neck turning around.

'Heard anything interesting Lupin?' Severus said casually.

'No, no sorry. I just thought I heard something.' He turned back around to face the rest of the marauders.

Severus looked at the amber liquid again. He used a particular chemical before and perhaps it had been the same chemical that came in a different form. Either way he wanted to work with it.

'Can I keep this, Damocles?'

'Go ahead. It is time for me to leave Severus. I suggest we stay in touch through correspondence.'

After exchanging their gratitude for each other's work, Damocles left the pub, leaving Severus by himself.

Wanting to leave the crowded pub as soon as possible, he went out to search for Lily.

Hopefully Lupin had overheard everything he needed to hear.


	20. The Presense of Lucius Malfoy

With the glass phial given to him by Damocles safely stored on the inside of his coat, he headed towards the shops in search for Lily and her friends.

Not daring to enter due to the crowd, he saw no sign of a bouncing redhead at Honeydukes and tried his luck somewhere else. Neither did he find her at Scrivenshaft's Quill shop, Dogweed and Deathcap (though he took the opportunity to buy a few more potion supplies), or Spintwitches.

He saw her through the window (he should've known) at Dominic Maestro's music shop, plucking away at some guitar.

He was about to enter the shop, when he heard a familiar hollow voice behind him.

'Has no one ever told you it is impolite not to respond to someone's invitation, Mister Snape?'

Severus let out a sigh and turned around. The one person he had been hoping to avoid had managed to find him.

Though lacking a cane, Malfoy already had a sense of authority to him that he was so renowned for later in life. Severus had never been quite as tall as Malfoy, but his fifteen-year-old self made him feel oddly submissive in Malfoy's presence.

'Good afternoon to you too, Malfoy,' Severus responded coldly. 'Any particular reason why you feel the need to interrupt my day?'

Malfoy's confident glare turned into a frown. 'I think you and I need to have a little chat.'

The last thing he wanted was to go and have a little chat with Malfoy, especially with Lily so nearby, but it took too long for him to think of anything to say that could potentially get him out of the tight spot he got himself in to.

'Fine, we'll talk,' he said with a little more confidence. 'But not the Hog's Head. It stinks.'

'Let's go for a walk then, shall we?'

Malfoy didn't utter a word until they reached the end of Hogsmeade near the railroad. As they strolled alongside the track, Malfoy started speaking.

'Mulciber has informed me that you are, shall we say, drifting away from the Dark Lord's cause.'

Severus stopped walking and faced the man beside him. 'How has Narcissa been doing lately?'

Malfoy seemed to have been thrown off-guard. 'Any particular reason why you are asking?'

'You married her not too long ago, haven't you?'

Despite Malfoy's pompous demure, a smile formed around the corners of his mouth.

'Yes, we were married this past summer.'

From the look on his face, Severus could tell Malfoy was recalling the happy memory.

'You love her dearly, don't you?' Asked Severus smoothly.

'Well of course I do.'

'Then explain this to me, Malfoy,' Severus's voice rose sharply. 'Why is it that if you love her so dearly, you are still willing to drag her into your troubles with the Dark Lord?'

Malfoy's already pale face turned even whiter. 'Do you honestly believe Snape,' Malfoy spat, 'that Cissy isn't capable of making her own decisions on those matters?'

'I have no doubt in my mind that she is more than capable of looking after herself,' Severus responded calmly. 'What concerns me is that you seem to care more about the cause than you do for her.'

Malfoy took a stance as if he was about to draw his wand. 'Why does the life that I share with my wife concern you so much, Snape?'

'Because I remember quite well that all the both of you ever wanted was to live a comfortable quiet life with a child or two, while living off your family's fortunes.'

Malfoy looked away either out of spite, or perhaps out of embarrassment, that there was truth in Severus's words.

'I cannot tell you how to live your life Malfoy,' Severus said while lowering his voice, 'but I can tell you that I would deem it wise to choose the ones you love over someone else's ambitions.'

Malfoy regained his posture. 'You've grown wiser since the last time I saw you Snape, I will give you that.'

'But none of this answers why you are suddenly backing out,' Malfoy continued, 'when it was only several months ago that you were so eager to join.'

'To the contrary Malfoy, it answers everything. Now if you'll excuse me, there's someone in town waiting for me.'

Severus was about to walk away when Malfoy grabbed his should. 'Not so fast Snape, I still want to know if you've seen Rosier around town. He hasn't exactly been social lately with me either.'

Severus pushed Malfoy's arm away from his shoulder. 'Rosier is currently at quidditch practice being exploited to the brink of insanity by Vanity's practice regime. He hasn't had much time for anything lately because of that.'

'I'll take your word for it this time, Snape, but I do hope he's not following in your footsteps,' Malfoy said with an ugly grin. 'Especially not with a family like his.'

'You know Vanity. She'll do whatever it takes to win the first quidditch match against Gryffindor. Especially now that she's been made captain. Now if you'll excuse me, I must leave.'

As Severus glided off and headed his way back towards the town, he heard Malfoy call out to him one more time.

'Snape,' Malfoy said sharply, and Severus looked over his shoulder. 'I hope that she's worth dying for.'

Without answering, he turned around and continued to walk. If only you knew, Malfoy, if only you knew.

Lily was no longer inside the music shop, nor was there any trace of Frank, Alice, and Mary, so Severus assumed they had returned to the castle.

Now that the shops were nearly empty of all students, Severus dared to walk into Honeydukes and buy a few things to make it up to Lily that he couldn't spend the day with her. He had promised he would, after all.

Upon his return, he found all four of them sitting at the Gryffindor table playing a game of exploding snap.

When Lily looked up at him however, she did not look happy. She slammed her cards on the table causing them to puff and smoke and stomped her way towards him.

'You and I need to talk Severus,' she spat. The last thing he saw was Frank giving him a look as if he didn't understand what was going on either and got dragged away towards their potions lab.

'Could you at least try to tell me what's wrong?' Severus asked once he closed the door of the lab behind him.

Lily looked up at him with her arms crossed. 'You told me you were going to meet up with a potioneer, Severus.'

'I did. I met him at the—'

'—I didn't know that potioneer had the face of Lucius Malfoy.'

Severus wanted to hit his head against the wall. 'Lily,' Severus tried to talk as calmly as he could, 'I did meet up with Mister Belby today.'

'Did my eyes betray me?' said Lily angrily.

'No, I also had a small encounter with Malfoy, but I assure you that was against my will.'

Severus felt himself staring down at the floor. Lily did have an uncanny ability to make him feel uncomfortable.

Lily drew a deep breath to calm herself down. 'What did Malfoy want from you, Sev?'

'He wanted to know why I haven't been in touch lately.'

'And what is it you told him?'

'That I cannot do what he is asking of me.'

Lily sat down in front of the glass window, staring at a fish that was searching for food. 'I'm sorry Sev,' she said with a small voice.

Severus sat down beside her. 'Don't be, I understand that it must be difficult to trust me.'

'It's just—sometimes I worry that you might get tempted to go back to that old pattern of yours.'

'What do you mean?'

'You being cold, distant, and snappy. Just not the Severus that I met at the playground all those years ago.'

Tears had started to form in the corners of her eyes. Not quite sure what to do, Severus pulled out the two butter beers and the bar of chocolate he had bought at Honeydukes.

He broke off a piece of chocolate and handed it to her. 'Here, it'll make you feel better.'

Lily ate a piece and started smiling. 'Thanks Sev.'

'I did promise I would make it up to you.'

'Sev,' Lily asked with a mouth full of chocolate. 'Before you tell me about your meeting with Mister Belby, could you please tell me what happened last night?'

'Honestly Lily, I'm not even sure what happened to me last night,' Severus said as he took a sip of his butter beer.

'Both Professor Slughorn and Madam Pomfrey told me you had a panic attack. That's a serious thing Sev,' Lily said with a look of concern.

'Look Lily,' Severus said as he put his beer down, 'the room was too crowded and I freaked out. I don't know why it happened and I hope it never happens again.'

'Do you remember what went through your mind when you had that panic attack?'

Severus looked down at his hands, not wanting to see the concern etched on her face. 'I thought I was going to die.'


	21. The Establishment of the Young Order

On Sunday around breakfast, Severus had managed to round up everyone that wanted to participate in the defense group and had them all join up around the Gryffindor table.

It felt a little strange, speaking to a group of students as equals rather than as a teacher.

'Good morning, everyone,' Severus opened up with. 'I asked all of you to come here because I have found a place where we can all practice defense against the dark arts without being interrupted. I'm not sure if everyone knows yet, but it's Frank that's going to lead our group.'

Frank turned a fine shade of red when everyone looked at him. 'I—I made a few lesson plans with the help of my family,' he stammered. 'Just some things that may be useful if we do ever encounter you-know-who's supporters.'

'Don't be modest Frank,' Alice said as she nudged him in the ribs. 'I know for a fact that you are very good at what you do.'

'Now I don't want to talk too much about it while we are sitting here,' Severus continued, 'but can I suggest that, if we all have the time today, we could hold our first meeting this afternoon.'

Everyone seemed to nod in agreement. 'No one's got quidditch practice or anything that might get in the way?'

'No,' Rosier said, 'Ravenclaw's got the pitch booked for Sundays, so I think Frank and I are good.'

'Good, than I would like to invite you all to the seventh floor at noon.'

'What's on the seventh floor other than the Gryffindor common room and some empty classrooms?' Mary asked.

'Oh you'll see,' Lily said mysteriously. 'It's going to be a surprise.'

They had a few more hours to kill, so Severus and Lily decided to spend it in their potions lab to work on some left over homework and bottle up potions.

'So Mister Belby gave you this?' Lily asked as she held up the amber coloured phial.

Severus nodded, 'Apparently it's some muggle invention that interferes with the neurons in the brain. I think adding wolfsbane to it could have a positive effect.'

'Isn't wolfsbane highly toxic though?'

'The leafs are, but it's the roots that I'm after. We should harvest some of that during the next full moon.'

'Just out of curiosity Sev, why focus on lycanthropy in particular?'

Severus walked up to the desk she was sitting at and sat on top of it. 'Lily,' he said calmly, 'do you remember what happened to me last year?'

'A lot of things happened to you last year, Sev.'

'I meant when the marauders played a prank on me. Which nearly got me killed, I might add.'

Lily put the phial down. 'To this day I'm still not exactly sure what happened to all of you down there Sev. I just remember all of you being on the brink of getting expelled.'

'You know about my suspicion of Lupin being a werewolf—'

'—Sev please we've been over this bef—'  
'—Lily please let me finish. You don't need to believe me, but it is what brought me to the idea of working on a potion that could potentially help people that do suffer from lycanthropy.'

'But that still doesn't explain why specifically lycanthropy, why not—'

'—Because I'm terrified of werewolves okay! There. I've said it.' With an elegant jump he got off the desk, stomped away, and sat down in front of his simmering cauldron.

Lily got up from her chair and carefully placed her hand on his shoulder, but he swatted it off out of frustration.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered. 'I shouldn't have questioned your motives.'

He didn't respond to her words, but he kept absentmindedly staring in his cauldron. It wasn't Lily he was mad at. He was mad at himself that something as silly as a werewolf could still frighten him after all those years.

'Sev, it's time to go upstairs,' Lily said carefully.

He tossed his spatula aside and buried his hands in his face.

Lily knelt down in front of him, and placed her hands on his knees. 'Look at me Sev,' she said as carefully as she could. 'I'm sorry for what I said.'

Severus lowered his hands. 'It's not you Lily, it's—I'm angry at myself.'

'And why would you be angry at yourself?' She asked as she held on to his hands.

'For being afraid when I shouldn't be.'

'In that case,' she said as she squeezed his hands a little, 'your secret will be safe with me. But there is one thing that I need you to do for me.'

'And what would that be?'

'That you don't put up a wall in front of me. I'm your friend; there is no need to be ashamed of anything.'

'I'll try not to,' he said in an attempt to sound reassuring.

Lily let go of his hands and stood up. 'Sev, I know it's not your thing, but can I give you a hug?'

Once he stood up, he felt her arms wrap around his waist and her face press against his chest. She had given him hugs before in the past and for some reason he never minded it as much when she did it opposed to anyone else (not that he allowed anyone else to touch him to begin with). He lowered his head into her hair, taking in that musky scent that was so typically her own.

'I think they're waiting for us upstairs,' Lily said with a muffled sound against his chest.

'Then lets go, shall we?' Severus said, feeling surprisingly more relaxed.

With a quick pace they made it to the seventh floor and, as Lily had predicted, everybody was already waiting.

'So, where are we going exactly?' Lupin asked.

'Just wait and see,' said Lily enthusiastically.

Severus walked up towards the stone wall, paced around three times while repeating that he needed a place to practice, and the large oaken door appeared in front of their eyes.

Once everyone was inside, the door closed behind them so that no one else could enter. Everyone was looking around in astonishment.

'This is perfect, Severus,' Frank said while messing around with some pillows. 'This is more than I ever could've asked for.'

Frank put down seven pillows in a circle on the floor and had everyone form a tight group.

'Before we start,' Severus said, 'does everyone know what the Order of the Phoenix is?'

Everyone but Rosier nodded. 'No idea Snape, please enlighten me.'

'The Order is something that professor Dumbledore has established as a force against the Dark Lord's cause. It's a group of people who are trained to fight against everything that has to deal with the dark arts.'

'Is everyone here planning on joining the Order?' Rosier asked the group.

Everyone nodded in agreement. 'I want to fight,' Frank said with determination.

'I'm muggle born,' Lily added. 'If I don't fight back for my rightful place in the wizarding world, there won't be much left for me here.'

'Then how come none of you have yet?'

'It's because of the trace,' Severus answered. 'And also because we are getting pretty poor preparation material from our defense against the dark arts lessons, which is why we are here today.'

Severus looked over at Frank, indicating that it was his time to take over.

'I uhm—I have prepared some lessons that I think would come in handy in case we do ever have to face someone in a wizard's duel.'

Alice put up her hand. 'Shall we think of a name for our group before we start?'

'I suppose we uhm, we can do that. Anyone got any ideas?'

'Since we're all supposed to be future Order members,' Rosier said, 'how about the Young Order? A group for all future Order members.'

'Sounds good to me,' Frank said. 'Any more questions or suggestions before we starts?'

'Yes Frank,' said Severus, 'what's the first thing you're going to teach us?'

Frank stood up with a new determined look on his face. 'I'm going to teach you all a spell that may just be the most convenient spell you can cast at someone without injuring them. So please, all rise, and follow my instructions.

Once everyone got up Frank levitated the pillows away into a neat pile against the wall.

'Today I'm going to teach you all about the disarming spell.'

Severus couldn't help but smirk when he heard Frank mention the disarming spell. He had taught it too, during that brief period when the Dueling Club was reestablished. Frank seemed to understand the importance of being able to take away a wizard's power.

Frank paired them up and had them stand near the wall across the room. Severus was facing Lily, and he wondered whether he should go easy on her or not.

After Frank checked that everyone was standing strong and firmly to avoid being knocked over, he showed the proper wand movement and the incantation.

Soon after, the room filled itself with red light, wands flying everywhere.

'Sev, it's unfair when you do it nonverbally!' Lily called out from across the room as she picked up her wand again.

'Do you believe the Death Eaters will just yell the incantation when you're in battle, Lily?' Severus responded.

Before she even stood up straight again, she yelled 'expelliarmus!' knocking Severus's wand out of his hand and threw him off balance.

She walked up to him to help him back up. 'Why don't you teach me how if you're so clever?'

After several hours they all had managed to get the spell down, and sat back in the circle in which they began.

Frank was looking at the small group with great pride. 'That went surprisingly well today,' he said happily. 'Is everyone up for more next week Sunday?'

As it was the most convenient day for everyone, they all agreed on Sunday meetings.

Mary, Alice and Rosier left to go back to their dormitories. 'Thank you for giving me this opportunity, Severus,' Frank said to him.

'And I meant what I said,' Lily added. 'Please teach us how to do nonverbal magic. I think it would be quite useful. I'll see you tomorrow in class okay?'

Frank and Lily left through the door, leaving only Rosier and Lupin with him.

'If my family finds out, I'm dead,' Rosier said carefully.

'If your family finds out, Dumbledore and I will be here to protect you,' Severus responded. 'There is no need to worry.'

Rosier nodded in understanding. 'I'll see you tonight in the dormitory, okay?'

Like that, Severus was left alone with Lupin. He had expected this to happen, as Lupin must be full of questions regarding the conversation he had overheard at the Three Broomsticks.

Lupin was looking around as if he needed to confirm that they were now truly alone. 'So, about that potion.'


	22. Looking at the Moon on Top of a Tower

'I was hoping you had overheard me at the pub,' Severus said calmly. 'Care to go for a walk with me?'

A little reluctantly, Lupin followed him out of the room of requirement. Neither of them spoke until they made their way towards the school grounds. Gently falling rain was swaying in the wind, but neither man seemed bothered by the weather.

'I suppose I haven't fully apologized to you for what happened last year,' Lupin said carefully.

'It's not your fault for having a group of idiots around you, that you consider friends, Lupin.'

Lupin seemed as if he was ready to argue, but decided against it. 'So what was it that you met that man for at the pub?'

'I met up with a man named Damocles Belby. Both him and I have managed to create a foundation for a particular potion that could help people with lycanthropy.'

Lupin stopped walking and looked at Severus with interest and confusion. 'You mean like a cure?'

'Not entirely, more of a means to keep your human mind inside your transformed body.'

Severus started walking again. A startled looking Lupin followed suit. 'But Snape, why exactly are you doing this?' Lupin asked as they passed Hagrid's hut.

'I have two reasons,' Severus started off with. 'I'll be dead honest with you, the first one is that I don't trust what you turn into once a month. It frightens me. The second reason is that I do not trust your friends.'

'The first reason I can fully understand,' Lupin responded. 'But what do my friends have to do with this?'

'Do you really think that I don't know their little secret?' Severus snapped at him. 'About them being illegal animagi? I know they did it for you Lupin, and that's all very touching, but for them to drag you off into the woods, in search of adventure, while endangering everyone else is a pretty poor way of looking after you.'

Without having a set destination for their walk, Severus made way towards the quidditch pitch.

'Please don't tell anyone.' Lupin said with a small voice.

'Not to worry, I already promised Dumbledore that I wouldn't utter a single word about it.' Severus said, back to his calm demure.

Lupin's face fell from slightly upset to horror struck. 'Dumbledore knows about them being animagi?' he croaked.

'Of course he knows, you nitwit,' Severus said mater-of-factly. 'Sometimes I think those piercing, blue eyes of his can see through walls.'

They were now standing in front of the quidditch pitch. 'Care to sit up in one of the towers, Lupin?'

Lupin nodded in agreement, and they climbed their way up the Ravenclaw watch post and sat down on a bench.

'I still don't understand why you would go through all this trouble just for people like me,' Lupin said while staring at the floor.

Severus looked up, thinking about how to answer it to his best knowledge. 'In this war,' he started off with, 'many werewolves will side with the Dark Lord. The reason for that is because our society labels you as less than human. The Dark Lord gives them acknowledgement in exchange for their service. A thing that the rest of the wizarding world does not.'

'Do you believe that some werewolves may be convinced to join our side if they were given a solution?'

'Perhaps. No certainties of course, but it's worth a try.'

A moment of silence fell between them.

Lupin looked at up the sky, as if looking at the moon, hidden behind the darkening gray sky.

'Do you think they'll ever find a cure for my disease, Snape?'

'I do not know,' Severus said genuinely. 'Like all things in life, there are two sides to everything. Light and dark, life and death, and perhaps also for cure and disease. Everything is so unmistakably connected on this planet.'

'So you think there might be a way?'

'I have this feeling, as your disease is so undeniably connected to the moon, that perhaps your disease did not come from this earth. That it came from elsewhere with a different purpose.'

Lupin looked at Severus as if he was looking at him in a different light. 'Are you saying it might be alien?'

'That's exactly what I'm saying.'

'And that the only cure might be out somewhere up there instead of down here?'

'I'm afraid so.'

They had made their way back to the castle just in time before a cloud burst and soaked the grounds to mud.

'Do you have any idea when I could test your potion?' Lupin asked as they dried themselves off in the entrance hall with a warming charm.

'You're willing to test whatever I create?' Severus asked in surprise.

'At this point I am willing to try anything.'

'Fair enough. I hope to have something ready by Christmas if not shortly after.'

Lupin put on a smile. 'I have patience. Thank you Snape, for doing this for me. Perhaps you're not as much of a bitter hermit as I thought you were.'

'Seclusion helps me think. Have a good night Lupin, I'll see you in class tomorrow.'

They made their separate ways and Severus found Rosier by the side of his bed, looking anxious.

'Can we talk Snape?' he said quietly.

'Go sit on my bed,' he directed. Rosier did as he was told and Severus took place opposite of him, closing the curtains.

'Silenco,' he muttered while he waved his wand around the four corners of his bed.

'What kind of spell was that?'

'Something I invented so we can't be overheard.'

'Brilliant.'

'It is one of my finer creations if I may say so myself, but what is it you wanted to tell me Rosier?'

'I meant what I said that I wanted to join the Order of the Phoenix, but,' Rosier lowered his voice, 'do you think Dumbledore will let me? I mean, he must know more about my family, doesn't he?'

'Rosier, Dumbledore has his own ways of knowing everything. He's got little birds flying around everywhere for him, whispering whatever it is that he needs to hear. If he finds a reason not to trust you, he will have a good reason for it.'

'Snape if my family finds out—'

'—if your family finds out we might just be able to convince them to join our side.'

'I don't think that's going to happen Snape,' Rosier said with a sad tone in his voice. 'Either I have to abandon my family for the Order or I am going to have to stick to their side. I can't have it both ways.'

'Listen to me Rosier, I cannot tell you to decide on what matters more since they are equally important. But I can tell you that abandoning your family is much easier than it is to abandon a war. You can always reconnect with your family after you leave them, but warfare is inevitable.'

'I don't understand, what is it that you are trying to tell me?'

'That no matter what, war is coming. It is going to surround our world as we know it and it is going to become a part of everyone, no matter which side we stand on. It is going to become a part of our lives and in our hearts and in our minds.'

'I think I understand,' Rosier said. 'Just—just out of curiosity Snape, when did you suddenly turn against the Dark Lord's cause. What was it that changed your mind?'

'When I came to the understanding that I would lose everything I care about.'

Rosier snorted. 'I know what you're talking about Snape,' he said with a teasing undertone. 'And I can't blame you. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to call it an early night.' Rosier climbed out of Severus's bed and laid down in his own.

Severus wasn't tired yet, and from the growling of his stomach he remembered that he hadn't eaten anything since their meeting in the room of requirement.

He wasn't sure if Lily was still up, but it was worth a shot. He ran up the staircases towards the Gryffindor portrait.

'Is there a way for me to enter?' he asked the fat lady.

'Only if you know the password,' she replied pompously while taking a sip of her wine.

'I don't know the password, but could you perhaps take a look and see if Lily Evans is in the common room please?'

'Oh alright, but only because you asked nicely.'

The fat lady turned around and after a moment or two she came back and the portrait swung open.

'Hey Sev,' said a sleepy, messy haired Lily. 'What brings you here?'

'Are you up for a little adventure?'

At the mention of adventure, Lily's eyes grew a little wider. 'And where would that adventure lead us, if I may ask?'

'To the kitchens,' he said with more enthusiasm than he was familiar with of himself. 'I believe to have found a way in.'

'Give me a minute. I'll be right back.'

A moment later Lily returned looking a lot fresher than she did when she opened the portrait the first time.

'What if we get caught, Sev?' Lily asked as they made their way downstairs.

'Since when do you care about getting caught out of bed? And besides, I think Lupin's patrolling, so we'll be fine.'

Once downstairs, he turned towards the Hufflepuff common room and stopped in front of the large portrait of a fruit bowl.

'Just tickle the pear,' he said to Lily.

Lily did as she was told and the pear transformed into a doorknob. He held the door for her to let her in.

'Welcome to the Hogwarts kitchens,' he said to an astonished looking Lily. 'Let's grab some food.'


	23. Gryffindor versus Slytherin

By Tuesday, Severus and Lily had managed to brew a perfect Invigorating Draught and decided to add it to their list of potions to sell. It was the time of year that students were starting to lose their energy and the potion could be a potential gold mine for as long as the winter lasted.

As they cleared out their cauldrons and prepared to leave the classroom, Professor Slughorn held Severus back.

'May I speak with you for a moment, Mister Snape?' Severus nodded in agreement. They waited until the entire classroom was cleared.

'Are you feeling any better?' Slughorn asked sincerely.

Severus had expected him to ask about his panic attack a few days prior. 'I'm alright, sir.'

'You still don't know why it happened?'

Severus shook his head. 'I've been trying to figure it out, but I have no idea.'

'Are you planning on going home this winter, Mister Snape?'

'I am. I figured my mother would appreciate it if I came home for once.'

'I don't recall you ever going home during Christmas before. Is there something I should worry about?'

Severus had mentioned before that things weren't going so well at home, but the last thing he wanted right now was to make Slughorn even more concerned about his wellbeing than he already was.

'Is it okay if I talk to you about it after Christmas professor? There are some things that I need to figure out with my family for myself before I can tell you more about it.'

Slughorn let out a sigh. 'I just hope everything is alright with Eileen. She was always such a quiet, gentle student.'

Severus had forgotten that Slughorn had been around for a long time at Hogwarts already. 'Do you remember my mother as a student, sir?' Severus asked out of curiosity.

'Of course I do! Such a talent she had, which I'm sure you have inherited from her,' Slughorn said enthusiastically at the recall of the memory. 'Both of us could sit here for hours trying to work on some particularly difficult potion. It always took a lot of time, her being deaf and all, but we always managed to figure out a way to communicate.'

Slughorn's face fell a little. 'When I heard she fell pregnant at such a young age so shorty after school, I feared she had thrown away her potential.'

Severus let his hair cover his face. The fact that his mother had been young and unwed when she had him, had always been a difficult thing in his life. Although understanding that it isn't his own wrongdoing, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty that his presence took away what could've been a much more flourishing future for her.

Slughorn seemed to have noticed the change in Severus's stance. 'I came to visit her you know, when she had you.'

At that, Severus had to look up. 'You were there?'

'Oh yes, I remember you were born a little too early, but otherwise healthy. You probably don't want to hear this from me as your teacher, but I did hold you in my arms while I was there.'

The idea of Slughorn holding him as a baby didn't bother him, but he did have to snort at the idea of how that must've looked.

'Eileen was so proud of you. I can't say the same for your father though, he seemed stressed out and didn't like having all those visitors in his house. Didn't utter a word to me at least.'

'My father doesn't like much of anything,' Severus said in a confessing manner.

'Can you promise me something Mister Snape?'

'Sure.'

'If there's anything going on at your home, please do not hesitate to talk to me about it. When you're at school I can help, but when you're gone there's only so much that I can do.'

'I promise.'

Slughorn looked over at his hourglass. 'Do you have classes to go to?'

'Oh, yes. I entirely forgot I still need to go to charms class.'

'Alright, I'll take you to Professor Flitwick so you won't get in trouble.'

Severus quickly stuffed his potions book back in his bag and together they made their way towards the charms classroom.

Once they arrived at the charms classroom Slughorn had a quick word with Flitwick, then turned to Severus one last time. 'See you at the quidditch match this afternoon.'

He found the whole Young Order group, aside from Rosier, sitting at the Gryffindor table during lunch.

'Who's excited for the first quidditch match of the season?' Mary asked the whole group.

With their mouths full of food they all nodded in agreement.

'What about you Frank?' Severus asked him as he sat down at the table. 'Who are you siding with?'

Frank looked down at Alice, who was shooting him a you-better-side-with-us look. 'I don't think I have much of a choice on that matter, mate.'

In his previous life, Severus couldn't care less about the school's quidditch matches and, quite frankly, he didn't care for them now either. Looking back on it, he did not even remember who won the match.

'Who do you think is going to win?' Lily asked the group.

'Potter's been so obsessed with training since he became captain I think he might just have a chance,' said Alice.

'I wouldn't be so sure of that,' Severus responded as he put some scrambled eggs on his toast. 'Vanity's been just as obsessed as Potter is with training.' He looked over at the Slytherin table, where Vanity was talking vividly to an exhausted looking Rosier. 'Although Rosier looks like he could use an invigorating draught.'

After lunch, the students of all the houses made their way towards the quidditch pitch.

For Rosier's sake, Severus decided to mingle in with the rest of the Slytherins instead of joining the rest of the Young Order on the opposite side.

Near Lily, he could see a determined looking McGonagall cheering on her team. The only way he had ever been able to tolerate his student's quidditch matches was to make bets with her. Especially now, he wished he was sitting beside her bickering over team members.

He saw Potter, Alice and Black zooming around, along with Vanity, Rosier, and Regulus on the opposite side. All the other team members he did not recognize, not that it mattered much.

As the game began, an ear deafening noise came from the audience and all he saw was a mess of red and green chasing each other in mid air.

He felt his heart starting to beat in his throat. It took a while before he started to understand that it wasn't the players being ridiculously fast, but rather his mind not being able to process what was happening. The noise around him sounded as if it was drowned out under water, then a cold quivering shivered down his spine.

The sensation felt similar to what he had experienced at Slughorn's party. As his mind fell blank, the only thing he was able to do was run down the stairs of the tower and head out to the open field towards the forest. There, near Hagrid's hut, he let himself sink down to his knees on the grass.

He tried to breathe the same way Slughorn had done with him the first time it happened, but it was a lot harder when the man wasn't there to lead him.

With his hands in his hair and his eyes closed, all he felt he could do was wait until the panic went away.

Two strong arms lifted him up. Judging by the ease in which he was being carried away and the bushy hair he saw through his eyelids, it was Hagrid that had picked him up and carried him to his hut.

He felt himself being put down on a couch large enough for him to lay down on, but couldn't bring himself to fully open his eyes yet.

'If ye feel the need to sleep ye ken sleep you know,' he heard Hagrid's rumbling voice say. 'Need a blanket?'

All he could do was nod. The cold sweat had chilled him down to the bones. A moldy woolen blanket was draped over him, and the last thing he heard was Hagrid putting a kettle on the fire, until the light in his mind went out.

What felt like hours later, he woke up to the sound of people walking around the hard-wooden floor of Hagrid's hut.

'Just found him there kneelin' on the grass. Not sure what happened to the lad, so I just carried him in and he fell asleep as soon as he laid his head down.'

Through the corners of his eyes, Severus could see Hagrid talking to Lily, who was sitting in a chair holding onto a large mug of tea. To his surprise, Frank was sitting on the chair beside her, observing a slice of cake he was given with suspicion.

'Has this ever happened before, Lily?' Frank asked her.

Severus wanted to argue, but no sound came out of his mouth. Instead, it sounded like a muffled groan.

'Well, someone decided to wake up,' Lily said as she put her mug down. She stood up and sat down beside him on the couch. 'How are you feeling, Sev?' She asked him while running her fingers through his damp hair.

'Fine,' he said with difficulty. 'just fine.'

'I brought Frank with me so we can get you back to the castle. Do you think you're up for that?'

Feeling himself regaining strength, he pushed himself up from the couch and sat down beside Lily.

'Are you doing alright mate?' Frank asked with concern.

'I think so,' Severus said while rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 'Can we go back to the castle? I just want to sleep.'

Frank stood up and hoisted him off the bed. Lily walked up to Hagrid and gave him a hug. 'Thank you for looking after him, I think we can take it from here.'

'No problem,' Hagrid responded. 'Come back around tomorrow and tell me if he's doin' okay, alright?'

'I will.'

The two of them supported Severus all the way back to the castle. 'What happened to you, Severus?' Frank asked again. 'Bit of a nasty shock when we found you here.'

'Can't stand crowds. Just can't stand them,' was all he was able to say.

'Do you want to go back to the Slytherin common room?' Lily asked him.

Severus shook his head. 'Just take me to the lab.'

Glad that Frank didn't ask any questions regarding the lab once they entered it, he sat down in the desk's chair, using his hands to support his head.

Lily had managed to transfigure a simple bed and sat it down beside the fireplace.

'I better go,' Frank said to both of them. 'I'll see you two tomorrow at breakfast, okay?'

'Thank you for the help Frank,' Lily said to him and watched him leave through the door.

'Ready to go to sleep?'

Severus got up, threw off his robes so he was left in a t-shirt and his knickers and fell down on the bed. 'Will you stay with me?' He asked Lily as he looked up at her.

'I'll stay with you all night if I have to.'


	24. A Gentle Giant

He awoke feeling refreshed the next day and found Lily, who had transfigured another bed in the corner of the room, still soundly asleep.

Judging by the very little light that was shimmering through the lake, it was still too early for breakfast.

Not wanting to wake Lily yet, he got dressed and searched through the pile of potion books for the veritaserum recipe. It took one lunar phase to brew the potion. If he started working on it now, it would be ready before Christmas.

He pulled out a jobberknoll feather from the box, placed it along with a few other ingredients on the desk, and started cutting up henbane flowers.

The sound of Lily stirring in her bed made him look up. 'Sorry if I woke you up,' he said softly.

'It's fine,' Lily said while suppressing a yawn. 'What are you up to?'

'I want to make a batch of veritaserum before Christmas, so I'm starting it off by cutting up some ingredients.'

'Any particular reason why you would need a truth serum?' Lily asked him as she rolled out of bed.

Severus looked away to give her the privacy to change. 'You never know when you might need it, and besides, it's more fun to make after all those simple things we've made to sell to students.'

'Fair enough,' Lily said as she tied up her bushy curls in a ponytail. She sat down beside him on the desk, looking down at what he was cutting up. 'Henbane? How interesting.'

'Then tell me Miss Evans,' he said looking up at her. 'What makes henbane such an interesting plant?'

'Henbane is a powerful psychoactive that can cause people to hallucinate,' Lily cited.

'Any historical background you could add to that?'

'The priestesses of Apollo used it to yield oracles and helped them to predict the future.'

'Look at you,' Severus said with a hint of pride. 'You know your plants.'

'Well I did learn from the best,' Lily said as she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. 'How are you feeling, Sev?'

'Much better.'

'So it is crowds of people that you don't like?'

'I think that's what it is. Too many people around me seem to make my head go fuzzy.'

He had been giving it a lot of thought on what could possibly cause him to have these panic attacks. After his second attack at yesterday's quidditch match, it became evident to him that too many people made him feel trapped. He had no control over a crowd of people and it felt dangerous.

After Severus had cut up all the ingredients it was time to leave for breakfast.

'I forgot to tell you, Sev,' Lily said as they sat down at the Gryffindor table. 'Slytherin won the match.'

'Good for them,' he responded. He looked over at the Slytherin table, but Rosier was probably still asleep.

'You make it sound like you are no longer part of Slytherin house,' Lily said as she buttered up some toast.

'I am a Slytherin alright,' Severus said as he poured himself some coffee. 'I'm ambitious and certainly cunning, but I couldn't care less about quidditch cups or sports in general.'

'Maybe that's why you're still such a skinny twig,' Lily said to him in a teasing manner.

Severus shot her a sour look. 'If I had a choice I wouldn't have picked out these genes either, but alas, here I am.'

'You're fine just the way you are Sev,' said Lily. 'And when did you start drinking coffee?' Severus was about to respond to that when Lily said, 'Hey Frank!'

Frank had just shown up and Severus was glad he didn't need to lie about it, since he had been drinking coffee for over twenty years. 'You doing alright, Severus?'

'I'm alright,' Severus said, not really wanting to look Frank in the eye. 'Frank, could you promise me not to tell anyone about the potions lab?'

'Hey mate my lips are sealed. Whatever business you managed to put up in that room is entirely your own.'

'Thanks. Do you have any plans for the next order meeting?'

'I do,' Frank said with a mouth full of bacon. 'Practice the disarming spell some more until we really got it down. Then I want to work on the shield charm to toughen things up a little.'

'I like the way you think, Frank.'

Frank's face flushed a little. 'Thanks.'

Their final lesson of the day was care of magical creatures. Severus was a little disappointed that the Diricawls that were presented did not have any magical properties, other than being able to vanish and reappear at will like a phoenix.

Lily however, was fascinated by them, as the bird in the muggle world was more commonly known as a dodo, was believed to be extinct.

'We should pay Hagrid a visit before we go back to the castle,' said Lily as she dragged a dodo back into its magical cage at the end of the lesson. Severus shot her a do-we-really-have-to look, but Lily did emphasize that she had already promised to come over.

Judging by the smoke coming from his hut, Hagrid had to be home.

Lily knocked on Hagrid's door. 'We're here if you'd still like to see us, Hagrid.'

The door swung open, Hagrid stood there wearing a large flowery apron with a spatula in hand. 'Come on in, come on in,' he said enthusiastically. 'I was just makin' some soup. Hope you're hungry.'

Glad to see that the vegetable soup Hagrid had made wasn't something he could break his teeth over, Severus accepted a bowl (more like a bucket) of soup from Hagrid.

'I see yer doin' a lot better since yesterday,' said Hagrid.

Severus nodded. 'Thank you for helping me Hagrid. I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't found me.'

'No problem lad. It's not every day you see a student losing it in front of your house. Too bad you had to miss out on seeing Slytherin win the first match of the season.'

Severus raised his shoulders. 'I'll redeem myself by watching Slytherin crush Hufflepuff during the next match.'

'Don't let Frank hear you say that,' said Lily laughingly.

In his previous life as both a student and a teacher, he never had much contact with Hagrid, considering him to be a bit of a big oaf, with a creepy obsession over monstrous creatures. Especially Fluffy, who was a creature he was very unlikely to forget.

The memory of Fluffy put Severus on a thought trail of the time the staff had to help hide the Philosopher's stone. The Dark Lord wouldn't have much use for it now that he still had his body, but Severus wondered if it was something the Dark Lord had any knowledge of or whether it was something he might be after. Maybe, before he headed back to Cokeworth for Christmas, he would pay Dumbledore another visit.

Lily and Hagrid were engaged in a conversation about dragons.

'There are two native dragons to the British Isles,' said Hagrid. 'The common Welsh green and the Hebridean black. Technically, I'm not supposed to tell you this but,' Hagrid lowered his voice, 'I overheard Professor Kettleburn talk about organizing a school trip to Hebridean and take a tour to search for a dragon with the McFusty clan.'

Lily's mouth fell open. 'You're saying I could actually get to see a real dragon?'

'Sounds dangerous to me,' said Severus skeptically.

'I wouldn't worry too much,' said Hagrid. 'The McFusty clan takes responsibility for the dragons there, as they have done for centuries.'

Lily was now sitting on the edge of her seat. 'Any idea when that trip could possibly happen?'

'Not sure. If not by the end of this year, it'll be the next. Only for fifth years and up though, if they want to go.'

Lily looked over at Severus as if she had just found a cauldron filled with gold. 'If this is really happening, are we going?'

The idea of heading to the islands in search of dangerous dragons didn't suit him at all. Knowing Lily well enough however, he knew he wasn't going to be able to talk her out of it.

'Sure, we'll go.'

'If it happens, I am definitely coming with,' said Hagrid. 'Can't miss out an opportunity to see a dragon.'

They finished up their soup and exchanged their goodbyes with Hagrid.

'Hagrid's such a sweetheart,' said Lily as they headed back to the castle.

'I've never spoken to him this much before, but he is a gentle giant.'

'Sometimes I wonder how he got so big, it's almost…un-human, but it sounds a little rude to say it that way.'

Severus didn't respond to that. He knew Hagrid was a half giant and exposing that could lead to losing his place at school, as the ministry didn't consider giants to be safe.

They made their way back to their potions lab. Lily grabbed her homework out of her bag and started working on it at the desk while Severus, who had worked ahead on some assignments, grabbed the ingredients for the veritaserum off the desk and started brewing.

Once he started, his mind wandered off to Sunday when Frank would hold his next defense lesson. It had been a good move to use Frank for the lessons rather than himself to avoid raising suspicion.

Still, he was also worried that once they started to make progress, Frank would start to bring in more challenging things such as boggarts or even attempting to create a patronus.

Either way, both would come in the form of Lily.


	25. When Shields Go Up

The young order had gathered inside the room of requirement, eagerly anticipating what Frank was going to teach them next. After they had all managed to get the disarming spell down, Frank announced that it was time for something new.

'The shield charm,' Frank started off with, 'is a charm that can block most common spells that are cast at you, if done correctly.'

He picked Severus out of the crowd to set an example. 'Severus, I want to ask you to cast a disarming spell at me, I will try to block it using the spell that comes with it. Now remember,' he said to the group, 'the wand movement is a downwards stroke.'

Severus took his stance opposite of Frank, ready to cast a non-verbal disarming spell at him. A flash of red light shot out of his wand and Frank yelled 'Protego!' causing a blue light to reflect around him and bounce Severus's spell off to a wall.

'Think you can do it the other way around, Severus?' Frank asked him.

Severus nodded, trying to suppress a smirk on his face. If there was one thing he was particularly good at, it was blocking things out.

Frank aimed his wand at Severus and yelled 'expelliarmus!'

Severus blocked it, only the spell he cast was much too powerful, knocking not only Frank's spell away but also everyone in the room off their feet.

'Holy shit Sev,' Lily said as she pushed herself back on her feet. 'How did you do that?'

Everyone was looking at him with wide eyes. For once, this was something he could not easily make up a lie about.

'Yeah Snape, how did you do it?' Rosier asked with curiosity.

'I—I don't know,' he muttered.

'Are you sure you didn't use protego maxima?' Frank asked him. 'Because this didn't look like any regular protection spell.'

'I really don't know,' he said softly. 'I'll go sit down and watch.'

He flopped himself down on a pile of pillows, lost as to why a simple shield charm had such on impact on him being attacked.

The six of them formed pairs to practice the spell, but that didn't stop Lily from looking over in his direction in a distrusting manner. He knew he was going to have to explain things to her one way or another. Sitting down while looking at the rest of them practice was only buying him more time to think of a good excuse to come up with.

Putting Frank in charge wasn't big enough of a distraction as he had hoped it would be. He had to tone it down somehow to avoid these kinds of incidents.

After Frank called it quits, Severus tried to walk it off by quickly heading his way towards Dumbledore's office.

'Not so fast Severus,' Lily snapped as she ran after him. She quickly jumped in front of him and forced him to stop walking. 'Where do you think you're going?'

'Dumbledore's office, I need to speak with him.'

'You owe me an explanation mister,' she said angrily.

'Look, I promise I'll tell you everything,' said Severus as he tried to walk around her. 'But I need to speak with Dumbledore first.'

'Not so fast,' Lily said as she placed her right hand on his chest to stop him.

'Could you please wait for me in our potions lab,' he said as he placed his left hand over her right.

'No, I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon with Alice and Mary so please, just tell me instead of making me wait in suspense.'

Severus looked around to see if anyone was still in the corridor. He saw Rosier standing a few feet behind him, probably unsure whether to pass their quarrel or not.

'Anywhere you need to go, Rosier?' Severus asked him.

'Dumbledore actually,' Rosier said a little timidly. 'And so are you if I heard you correctly.'

'Just go, I'll meet you there.'

Rosier started walking down the corridor until he reached the stone gargoyle and disappeared from sight.

'Lily,' he said, still holding on to her hand on his chest. 'It's not the first time that I've had to protect myself. Of all people, I thought you would understand.'

He hated bouncing the ball back at her, but the last thing he wanted was for her to get mad at him.

Lily let out a sigh. 'You're not still being teased are you?'

'If you mean the marauders still trying to occasionally hex me to smithereens then yes, they do, but that's not what I meant.'

'Then what it is that you mean?'

Severus leaned in closer to her and lowered his voice. 'You know, my father.'

At that, Lily nodded in understanding. 'I'm sorry,' she said as she held her head down. 'I should've thought of that.'

He lifted up her chin with his free hand. 'Don't be sorry. What I did there wasn't normal.'

Lily took a step back. 'Want to go to the potions lab after dinner?'

'Are you sure you don't want to spend more time with your friends?'

'It can wait, and besides, I think your truth serum needs a little stirring up.'

He could still feel the imprint of her hand on his chest as she walked away down the staircase. Feeling a little lighter in his heart, he followed Rosier's footsteps and went up the spiral staircase after the gargoyle stepped aside.

Once he entered Dumbledore's office, the last thing he had expected to see was a weeping Rosier slumped over Dumbledore's desk.

Dumbledore had already conjured a pot of tea on the table and a handkerchief for him. 'Good afternoon Mister Snape,' Dumbledore said without taking his eyes of Rosier. 'What brings you here?'

'There was something I wanted to discuss concerning a friend of yours, but it seems that this is a more important matter for now.'

'Would you be okay if Mister Snape came to join us at the desk?' Dumbledore asked Rosier.

Rosier nodded as he blew his nose in the handkerchief he was given. 'I don't mind.'

Severus sat down in the empty chair beside Rosier and felt awkward as he never quite knew what to do when someone was crying.

'My family is onto me, Snape,' said Rosier in a trembling voice. 'They know I'm distancing myself from my friends.'

'What is it you fear most?' Severus asked calmly.

'That my family will shun me if they find out I'm turning against everything they stand for.'

'Do you think they'll kick you out if they find out?'

'It's not getting kicked out of the house that I'm afraid of,' he said as he wiped away a tear. 'It's the fact that I will become a target the moment they find out. I know too much Snape. I know way too much about the cause.'

Severus looked up at Dumbledore, who seemed a little forlorn at the situation. 'Headmaster,' Severus said. 'Is there a way that you can teach him occlumency?'

Rosier looked a little confused. 'What's that?'

It was Dumbledore who spoke. 'Are you familiar with legilimency Mister Rosier?'

Rosier shook his head.

'Legilimency is, shall we say, a technique to force your way into someone's mind, in search for information that might be stored in someone's memories.'

Rosier looked a little shocked at what Dumbledore told him. 'I didn't know that was even possible.'

'I'm afraid so, but very few people have the gift to do it without raising suspicion. Lord Voldemort being one of them.'

Rosier twitched a little at the mention of the Dark Lord's name. 'Do you think he could try to do that to me headmaster?' Rosier asked in a small voice.

'Yes, and that is why Mister Snape suggested that you'd learn occlumency with me. It is a way to shut your mind off from any unwanted forces that are trying to break in.'

For what must have been the first time since Rosier's confession, his face showed a spark of hope.

'Would you really do that for me?'

'I would and I suggest we start as early as next week to prepare you at least a little before you return home for Christmas.'

Rosier let out a sigh of relief. 'Thank you headmaster, I really appreciate that.'

'Now, is there anything else I can help you with?'

Rosier shook is head and drained his tea in one gulp. 'No, I think I've said everything I needed to say.'

Rosier stood up and prepared to leave. 'Can you wait for me downstairs in the corridor?' Severus asked him. 'This won't take long and I'll come and have dinner with you.'

'I can wait,' Rosier said. 'Thank you headmaster.'

Dumbledore smiled as he watched Rosier leave the office, but his face fell as soon as Rosier closed the door. 'So many families are being torn apart over this war,' he said with a grave voice. 'But I suppose that is not why you are here.'

'No headmaster, I only came here with a suggestion.'

'Go on.'

'I am aware that your friend Nicolas Flamel has created the Philosopher's stone and has therefore lived an extraordinary long life.'

'And what is it that you are implying?'

'The Dark Lord will go after it at some point. Now I don't think it's necessary for it to be destroyed, but I do suggest that Mister Flamel find a place to hide his creation.'

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled a little. 'I shall go write him a letter right after you leave about your suggestion. I'm sure he'll understand.'

'Thank you, sir, that's all I wanted to say for now.'

Severus stood up in order to leave.

'Before you go Mister Snape, how is that potion you're creating with Mister Belby progressing?'

'So-so. I'm still waiting on a message from him, but I think I've got a good supply of useful ingredients. I hope to have it figured out with him after Christmas.'

Dumbledore looked pleased with his answer. 'Is there anything else you wish to say before we part our ways?'

Severus shook his head. 'Although, there is a giant basilisk living down in the castle's sewers in case you're interested in that,' he said nonchalantly.

That seemed to make Dumbledore laugh. 'If there truly is a basilisk down there, I suggest we keep it where it wants to be.'


	26. How a Stag Found some Wolfsbane

The last couple of weeks before Christmas break went by quickly.

Frank had managed to not only teach the blocking and disarming spell, but also to petrify and the cushioning charm to soften a harsh landing. Everybody in the group, including Severus, seemed to make progress in their agility to dodge, block, and attack spells. Frank's confidence seemed to grow with every lesson, proud of his accomplishments as a teacher.

It wasn't just Frank that was doing well. Judging by his happier appearance, Rosier must be making progress now that he had frequent meetings with Dumbledore. Still, Severus wanted to keep a keen eye on him. Not necessarily because he didn't trust Rosier's motives, but because Rosier simply didn't come with the kind of courage that the other members of the young order came with.

...

It was Thursday, two days before the train from Hogsmeade would leave to go back to London.

'Lily,' Severus said as he tuned up his bass, 'there's something that I need to ask you.'

'What is it?'

'I forgot to send my mother a message about when I'm coming home. So, could I possibly hitch a ride home with you?'

'I don't have enough time to let my parents know, but I'm sure they won't mind if you squeezed into the car with us.'

'Thanks,' he said, glad that the problem was sorted.

Lily looked around. 'Do you have any idea where the marauders are?'

'No idea,' he said, but with a pang, he realised that tonight was a full moon, and the marauders were most likely already hiding out at the shrieking shack.

If was he was going to attempt to brew the wolfsbane potion for Lupin, he was going to have to sneak out tonight and find some wolfsbane plants in the forest. He could only hope Lupin had managed to convince his friends not to leave the shack to go exploring.

'Now who can drum some Judas Priest songs for us if Black isn't here to do it?' Lily said, slightly annoyed.

'His little brother might,' Severus said while pointing at Regulus.

Lily looked over her shoulder and saw Regulus talking with a Ravenclaw girl. 'I'll go and ask.'

After all those years of not touching a bass, Severus had finally managed to catch up on his playing skills in the few months that he was back at school. He even started to enjoy playing with the band groups, but he was looking more forward to making music with Lily, once they returned home. Making music had been a big thing they bonded over and, in a way, the most intimate thing they did together.

Regulus had been willing to play along with them, playing some songs they had practiced before with his brother.

After class he carefully put his bass in its case, ready to bring it back home with him for Christmas break.

'Do you want to go down to the potions lab after dinner?' Lily asked him as she put her guitar back in its case.

'I can't. I have to find a way to get down into the forest and look for wolfsbane now that it's the full moon.'

'You mean for that potion against lycanthropy you've been working on?'

'Yes indeed, and since tonight is the last full moon before Christmas this is the best time to do it.'

'Okay, I'll come with you.'

At that, Severus's mind started racing. The last thing he wanted was for Lily to join him on a nightly stroll with a potential werewolf on the loose.

'You don't have to,' he said carefully. 'It's going to be late and unless my eyes deceived me, there's snow falling.'

'Aww Sev, are you afraid that I'm going to catch a cold or something?' she sniggered.

'That's exactly what I'm afraid of.'

'You're a horrible liar, Sev. I'll see you at dinner okay; I want to bring my guitar to the common room first.'

Lily disappeared up the grand staircase. Did she really just call him a horrible liar? Years of being a spy and a master of deceit against the great Dark Lord himself and she just looked straight through him. He hoped he wasn't losing his touch, he thought to himself. The art of deception was his most compelling talent. A talent he could not afford to lose just because Lily brought out his vulnerability.

He shrugged it off for now. Dumping his bass on his bed, he headed for the great hall, where he found most of the Young Order already eating.

'Does anyone have any idea where the marauders are?' Mary asked. 'Or are they sneaking around again as usual?'

'Maybe they're in the kitchens,' said Frank. 'Won't be the first time that they're nicking food down there.'

'Then why not just sit at the dinner table and have it served to you,' Mary replied. 'What's the point in putting more effort into stealing food if you can just grab it.'

Frank raised his shoulders. 'No idea.'

'For all we know Potter's standing right behind you, with that bloody invisibility cloak of his.' Lily said while pointing with her fork behind Mary.

Alice got a sour look on her face. 'The very thought of his creeping up on me like that annoys me,' she said bitterly. 'Either way, I know Lupin's in the hospital wing again. I was supposed to patrol with him tonight.'

'Poor Remus,' said Mary. 'I wish he could just tell us what's wrong with him, rather than trying to hide it. I see no reason why he should be ashamed of what he has.'

Severus kept his mouth shut as long as the conversation about the marauders lasted.

...

He met up with Lily later shortly before curfew down in the entrance hall.

All wrapped up in their cloaks and dragon hide gloves they made their way towards the snow-covered forest, staying in the shadows, so Hagrid wouldn't be able to see them.

'Just keep your wand ready, okay? I'll enter the forest through here and you can start looking over there,' he said while pointing further down the road.

Lily did as she was told and disappeared into the forest with her wand in hand and a glass jar tucked under her arm.

With his own wand raised up to shed light in the darkness of the forest, he started searching for the wolfsbane plant. After a few minutes he had found a little cluster of the plant, put the jar he had brought for himself down, and bent down to start picking.

The sound of hooves however, stopped him from uprooting the plant. A large stag was standing behind him with a furious complexion. Its breath fogging up the air around him.

'Good evening, Potter,' Severus said with a bored tone. 'How nice of you to come and see me, but I'm kind of busy at the moment.'

In a flash, the stag that was Potter stomped on the flowers Severus had been meaning to pick.

Severus stood up straight and folded his arms. 'You're digging your own grave here, Potter,' Severus said with a cold voice. 'I'm working on a potentially groundbreaking potion, you see. One that might just help that wolf friend of yours with his lycanthropy.'

Potter obviously couldn't talk back in his stag form, but he stepped away from the flowerbed, still blocking Severus from walking further into the forest.

'I know Lupin is out there in the forest,' Severus said darkly. 'Probably running around with that dog and his pet rat.'

In a flash, Potter started to morph back into his human form, but Severus was quicker. 'I wouldn't transform here if I were you Potter,' he said while holding up his wand against Potter's chest. 'Lily's out here with me, you see, and I highly doubt you want to expose your little secret to her.'

Halfway through the transformation Potter went back to his stag form and just in time too, as Lily just appeared from behind a tree.

'Sev,' Lily whispered. 'Are you talking to a stag?' Her eyes grew wide in wonder at the sight of Severus standing in front of the majestic creature.

'I think this one might be domesticated by centaurs,' Severus made up on the spot. 'Which is odd, since they are usually hunted down by them and eaten.'

'You think I can come closer?'

'I suppose, I don't think this beast is afraid of humans.'

Lily carefully walked up closer and held out her hand. 'He's beautiful,' she whispered as she petted him.

'Perhaps this magnificent beast can show us where we can find some more wolfsbane plants, considering it just trampled the little cluster I had managed to find.'

Severus looked sharply into Potter's deer eyes. Potter gave out a little nod, as if saying he understood that the plant could potentially help Lupin.

'What an intelligent creature,' Lily said, still mesmerized by the stag's presence.

Potter led the way a little further into the woods and stopped where a large patch of wolfsbane flowers grew. Lily and Severus immediately went to work, collecting as much of the flower and its roots as they could.

'Care to lead us safely back to the edge of the forest mister stag?' Lily asked Potter.

Taking the lead, Potter brought them back safely until they reached the back of Hagrid's hut.

'Goodbye,' Lily said while she hugged the creature. 'Thank you for your help, mister stag.'

Lily walked away from the creature so Severus could share his gratitude in private. He wrapped an arm around Potter's stag neck, pulling him closer, and whispered in his ear. 'I hope a centaur shoots an arrow up your arse for letting your dangerous friend run around in the forest like that,' he gritted through his teeth. 'Take some responsibility.'

Potter broke loose from his grip and ran off into the woods in search of his friends.

With their jars filled with wolfsbane, they walked back to the castle. 'I got to say, Sev, even though you were skeptical about taking care of magical creature classes, you sure have a gift with animals.'


	27. Return to King's Cross

Gentle snow was falling as Severus and Lily sat down in the astronomy tower for the last time before the new year.

Lily conjured up a flame and stuck it in a jar to keep them warm. 'Too bad we ran out of cigarettes,' she said. 'I would've liked to share one with you before we go back home.'

'Maybe you can steal another pack from Petunia's boyfriend to bring back with you,' Severus said as he sat down cross-legged.

At the mention of that, Lily let out a sigh. 'I'm almost ashamed to say you have to meet him this Christmas.'

'What was his name again?'

'Vernon,' Lily said as if she had a bad taste in her mouth. 'A boring arse name for a boring arse man.'

'Does he know about us, being magical I mean?'

'He does,' Lily said as she laid down on her back. 'He agrees with Petunia. He thinks we're freaks.'

'Does he actually say that in front of your parents?' Severus asked as he shuffled closer to her.

'Of course not. The only time shit comes out of his mouth is when there are no parents around to hear it.'

'I think I can handle it.'

'Are you sure, Sev? I know how touchy you can get when people criticize our world.'

'I've managed to deal with my father for nearly sixteen years, so I'm pretty sure I can handle another idiot who doesn't like magic.'

That seemed to make Lily laugh. 'Are you also sure your mum's okay with you spending Christmas eve with us?'

'I'm sure she won't mind,' he said. 'We don't celebrate Christmas at our place anyway. Just being around for once during the holidays is good enough for her.'

Severus looked up at the snow that was falling around them. 'Want to know a little secret?' He asked.

'Of course,' Lily said to him with a smile.

'I'm genuinely looking forward to going home this time.'

'I'm glad you are, Sev. I'm so glad you are.'

As they both still needed to pack their trunks, they decided that it would be for the best if they returned to their dormitories earlier than usual.

Once Severus entered the Slytherin common room, he found Rosier slumped into a chair near the hearth. 'Are you going home, Rosier?' Severus asked him.

'I'm not,' he said. 'Came up with the excuse to stay at the castle over the Christmas holidays because of OWLs.'

'Good one,' said Severus. 'That'll give you plenty of time to explore the castle at your own leisure.'

Rosier nodded. 'Exactly.'

After packing all of his belongings, Severus went up to the potions lab one last time to clear things out. The veritaserum he had created was now safely stored in his box.

Though not entirely sure, he thought he now had all of the ingredients that he needed to work on the wolfsbane potion for Lupin. After having everything neatly labeled and stored, he closed the door behind him and locked it with the winged key. The door melted back into the wall and vanished from sight.

When he laid down in bed and closed his eyes, all he could think of were the things he and Lily were going to do once they got home.

For the first time since his return to life, he would have her entirely to himself.

The next day after breakfast, he was standing in line with his trunk and bass in hand, waiting for a carriage to take them to Hogsmeade.

Alice, Frank, Mary, Lily, and Severus all managed to squeeze into a carriage.

'I've always wondered what pulls them?' Alice said. 'Judging by the way the ropes are moving it's got to be something other than magic.'

'It's thestrals,' Severus said without thinking.

'What's a thestral?' Lily asked curiously.

'Very scary looking winged horses,' Frank answered before Severus had to come up with an excuse. 'You can only see them after you've seen someone snuff it.'

'That's a bit scary,' Mary said a little darkly. 'To only see something after you've seen death.'

Lily was looking at Severus with suspicion. 'Have you ever seen anyone die before, Sev?'

'I haven't,' he said quickly. 'I just know because I've overheard Hagrid talk about them once as he takes care of them. It makes sense.'

The lie must have convinced Lily, as she didn't ask any more questions about it. He had seen death so many times for so long he hadn't even thought twice about being able to see the horses.

'How come you can see them Frank?' Mary asked.

'Grandpa Longbottom. He died at a good old age, surrounded by his family including me, but let's not talk about death shall we. We're finally released from all the homework stress.'

After a while, they reached the Hogsmeade train station, and started unloading their trunks.

'Snape,' a voice called from behind him. It was Potter that was walking up to him. 'Could I speak to you in private for a moment?'

Severus sensed a rare quiver of sincerity in Potter's voice, no doubt wanting to talk about their encounter in the woods two nights prior.

'I'll get your things,' Lily said to Severus, looking confused at the two men holding a civil conversation for the first time.

Potter walked off and Severus followed until they were out of sight, behind a wall.

'Did you mean what you said?' Potter asked nervously.

'Mean what? That I think you are a horrible friend or that you should get an arrow stuck up your arse?'

'About working on a potion that could help Remus with his lycanthropy of course,' Potter snapped. 'And for your information, I do care about my friend.'

'How touching,' Severus said, 'then please explain to me why is it you run off with him into the forest instead of keeping him locked inside the shrieking shack?'

'Because he attacks himself if he's locked up,' Potter said with concern. 'It's why he has all those scars you know. At least he won't harm himself if he gets to run free.'

Severus's bitter complexion turned soft. 'I didn't know that,' he said. 'I'm sorry.'

Potter snorted. 'You're actually sorry?'

'Yes I am, Potter. I am sorry. And although I still don't think that running off into the forest is a better option considering everyone else's safety, for Lupin to start shredding himself up to bits isn't something that I'd wish upon him either.'

'Snape, just tell me if you're really working on that potion or not.'

'I am and I'm working together with another potioneer to make it happen.'

A moment of silence fell between them.

'Just speak up Potter we haven't got all day.'

'I'm just surprised that you actually do care after all. Especially after what happened last year.'

The incident of Severus being lured into the underground tunnel that led to the shack last year, had gone unmentioned until this very moment.

'Look I'm sorry for what happened alright,' Potter said with difficulty. 'I really do appreciate what you're doing for Remus. It wasn't his fault.'

'I know it wasn't his fault Potter, it's that annoying Gryffindorian recklessness from the three of you that led me there in the first place.'

Potter let out a sigh. 'If you do manage to create that potion, what would it mean for Remus?'

'What Mister Belby, the potioneer, and I are trying to accomplish is that people like Lupin keep their human mind when they transform. So it's not a cure, but it is a solution to their danger as they will be aware of their surroundings.'

'Remarkable,' Potter uttered to himself.

'Yes it is, if I may say so myself,' remarked Severus. 'Now, if you'll excuse me, Lily's waiting for me on the train.'

They walked back to the train station in silence. Although Severus still had a deeply rooted hatred for Potter, he could also sense that a little bit of the hostility between them was gone. Potter did care for his friends, even if it meant taking a great risk. A true Gryffindor indeed.

Severus found Lily with the rest in the same compartment he had found her in on the journey to school in September.

'What was that all about with Potter?' she asked as Severus closed the door of the compartment.

'He got a hold on my plans on creating a potion against lycanthropy,' he said. 'And from the look on all of your faces it is time for me to explain myself.'

As the train started rolling through the snow-clad landscape, Severus fell into the story on how he had met up with Mister Belby and shared his ideas to help those with lycanthropy.

After getting everyone's appraisal, Alice opened up a brand new deck of exploding snap, and they entertained themselves all the way back to London.

...

Everyone exchanged their goodbyes and new years wishes on the platform then went their separate ways. Lily and Severus stepped through the wall and onto the platform between 9 and 10.

There, Lily's parents were already waiting for her. Unlike Severus's young parents, Lily's were already quite old. Both were very young when the muggle war broke out and played their part in the British military. They had made a very conscious choice not to have children until much later in life.

Mrs. Evans was tall, lean and, despite her age, still very blonde. Mr. Evans, however, was shorter than his wife and had thick graying red hair. Lily reassembled her father in more ways than just looks.

Severus stretched out his hand, but Mrs. Evans pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. 'It's so good to see you again, Severus,' she said. 'I was afraid you and Lily were no longer talking.'

After she released him, Severus got to shake hands with Mr. Evans. 'It's good to see you again, Severus. I've missed seeing you around the house.' Severus was left speechless at the family's sincerity upon seeing him again.

'Is your mother coming to pick you up?' Mr. Evans asked.

'Oh,' Lily interrupted. 'He forgot to tell his mother when he was supposed to come home. So could he hitch a ride with us back to Cokeworth?'

'No problem at all,' said Mr. Evans. 'Let me take your trunk Lily.'

'And I'll take yours Severus,' Mrs. Evans said. Now the only thing they needed to carry were their instruments. 'Let's go before my nose freezes off.'

The four off them left the platform, leaving behind the wizarding world and back to the muggle world they came from.


	28. The Bleakness of Spinner's End

Two trunks, two instruments, and four people had been squeezed into a tiny Austin Morris. Severus couldn't help but smirk a little at the car's violent shade of orange, which he so typically connected with the seventies.

'Good thing Petunia didn't come with,' said Lily. 'Otherwise this never would've fit.'

After warming up the engine, Mr. Evans started driving.

'Petunia is thinking about pursuing a typing course in London,' Mrs. Evans said with a disappointed undertone.

'Why would she want to do that?' asked Lily.

'I'm not sure,' Mr. Evans responded. 'I've always hoped that she would warm up about going to art school. She hasn't been painting much lately.'

'Oh no,' Lily whined. 'I don't want Tuney to stop painting. She's way too good to just abandon her talent like that.'

Severus wondered if he had ever bothered to look at Petunia's creations, as she was usually quite clear that she didn't appreciate his presence at their household. He couldn't recall any, so he probably hadn't.

'Thank you for driving me home Mr. and Mrs. Evans,' he said. 'I truly appreciate it.'

'Oh no need to be so formal, Severus,' Mrs. Evans said. 'Just call us Erwin and Arnica like you normally do. And it's no trouble, really.'

'Thanks,' he said softly.

Severus noticed that Lily was drifting off to sleep against the window. He hesitated for a moment, but decided that pulling her in so she could sleep against his shoulder would be more comfortable than a cold window. It seemed like a good excuse to have her close to him at least.

Her big bush of red hair tickled his nostrils, but it was worth sensing that musky scent that he had grown so familiar with.

'How has school been for you, Severus?' Arnica asked him softly enough not to wake Lily.

'Quite interesting,' he answered in a low voice. 'Preparations for our exams this year is a drag, but our stance against the uprising war is growing bigger.'

'What war?' Arnica asked him curiously.

Shit. Had Lily never told her parents a thing about the Dark Lord? Had keeping them in the dark been a way for her to keep them safe?

Severus's eyes grew wide. 'What I mean is, well—our ministry might get overthrown.'

'You mean like political warfare?'

'Yes, that's exactly what I mean. Nothing to worry too much about though, but we can expect some changes in our world soon.'

'Could be worse,' Erwin said. 'There's always a way to move back to our world in case it turns out badly.'

Relieved that the Evanses bought the lie, he relaxed a little and felt himself grow tired.

Not much was being said until they reached Cokeworth, as they were all worn out from the long journey home.

Cokeworth's factory was dominating the skyline in the distance. It was a strange sight to behold for him, as he only went back to Cokeworth during the summer holidays ever since he set foot inside Hogwarts.

Spinner's End looked even more dreadful in the dark and cold than it already did when the sun was out.

'It's the corner house at the end of the street isn't it, Severus?' Erwin asked him.

'Yes, it's right over there,' Severus said as he pointed at the shabby looking house.

Severus would've given all the gold he had earned with his and Lily's potion making to stay in the car with her than to go inside the house.

'Would you like to come over tomorrow so you and Lily can tell us all about school?' Arnica asked him.

'I'll come over. Lily,' he said while gently pushing her up, 'it's time for me to go home.'

Lily blinked a couple times and looked up at him with watery eyes. 'We're already back?'

'You've been out for a while, I'll come over tomorrow okay.'

Severus opened the car door, making everyone shiver as the cold air entered the car. With his trunk and bass in hand he stood by the front door of his house. 'Thanks again,' he said, and the Evanses drove off to another part of town. Although entirely unnecessary, he felt the occlumency shield inside of him rise up like a wall. It was the only way to keep his emotions under control if a situation with his father would run out of hand.

Before he got to knock on the door, the door already swung open, revealing a sour looking man, with a beer in his hand.

'What brings you home this time of year boy?' Tobias's cold voice said to him.

'I promised mother I would be here for Christmas this time,' Severus said without looking his father in the eye.

'Well don't just stand there. Get in,' Tobias ushered him inside the house.

Severus quickly glided past his father and headed for the staircase. 'Not so fast boy.'

He forced himself to look in the eyes that matched his own. 'I'm tired, and I wish to go to sleep,' he said dryly.

'You're not going to sleep until I tell you to go.'

'Why? Is there something that you need me to do?' Severus sneered back.

'Your mother hasn't told me anything about you coming home for Christmas. Nor do we celebrate it, so what is the actual reason you came back?'

'As my presence in this household is already considered irrelevant whether it be summer or winter, I don't believe I owe you an explanation.'

'Don't get cheeky with me boy!' Tobias snapped. 'Are you here for your mother or does that little redhead friend of yours got something to do with it?'

Severus balled his fists around his trunk and case. 'Leave Lily out of this,' he said darkly.

'Take some advice from your old man boy,' Tobias said as he took a swig from his beer. 'Don't make the same mistake I did by knocking up a girl when you're young. The last thing I want to be is a grandfather at this point.'

Severus didn't want to respond to what his father had just told him. 'Where's mum?' he asked with restrain.

'Asleep so don't bother her.' Tobias didn't seem to want to argue any further, as he stumbled off into the kitchen, no doubt to grab a new beer from the fridge.

Severus made his way upstairs as quickly as he could, flung his trunk and case into a corner of the room and crawled under the blanket of his bed without bothering to change out of his clothes.

Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough. Despite feeling tired from the journey, Severus couldn't help but lie awake.

Lying in the bed in which he had arisen from the dead made him feel slightly uncomfortable, as if he somehow expected to die again if he fell asleep.

His mind was flooding with memories from the past…well…has it only been nearly four months?

So much had been changed compared to his previous life. Surrounding himself with different people had been a major advancement, as was shunning Malfoy's influence on him, but all of that fell into nothing compared to Lily.

He couldn't help but grin as he pressed his face into his pillow. No matter where the war was going to take him this time, he was going to stay by her side. Where Potter had failed, he was determined to succeed.

Sleep started to cloud up his mind, and exhaustion started to drag him under.

In his previous life he had never quite chosen a side of the war. The only side he ever felt like he belonged was hers.

...

A loud banging on the bedroom door awoke him the next day. 'Mum,' he heard a soft nasal voice say.

Severus rolled out of bed to open the door for her, she immediately flung her arms around him. 'Tobias said you came home last night,' she signed happily after she let him go. 'How?'

'Lily,' he signed back with a flick of his hair.

'It is good to see you son. Want breakfast?'

Severus nodded. 'I will come down after I change. I fell asleep wearing this,' he said while pointing at his shabby muggle clothing.

Eileen left with a smile on her face and went to work in the kitchen. After changing himself into cleaner clothes, he went downstairs, and found his father sleeping on the couch.

He stomped on the floor to get his mother's attention. 'Need me to wake him up?'

She waved it off with a flick of her wrist. 'Leave him. He is a better man when he is asleep than when he is awake.'

At that, Severus walked into the kitchen and stood beside her to help her cut up peppers for omelets. 'How has everything been now that he has lost his job?'

'Bit of a struggle,' his mother signed back after she handed him over the knife. 'But we're on the dole for now, so we manage.'

'Mum, I can help you financially if you need any.'  
Eileen gave her son a sharp look. 'Look at me Severus,' she signed with her fingers pointing at her eyes.

Severus looked into her eyes, knowing he was about to get a lecture.

'How are you making money, exactly?'

Lying to his mother was not an option. 'Lily and I are making potions in a private lab and we sell them to students.'

Eileen shook her head in disapproval. 'You are just like your mother.'

'What is that supposed to mean?'

'Because I used to do the same thing when I went to Hogwarts. Professor Slughorn knew about it. Never said a word.' She formed two antennas above her head at the name "Slughorn", like a snail.

'Professor Slughorn is the one who gave me the lab.'

'Well aren't you special,' she signed in a sarcastic way. 'But Severus, I'm being serious here. I am your mother and you are my son.'

'I've understood that for quite some time now, funny enough.'

'What I am trying to say is, is that you do not have to carry the burden of responsibility for me. I am your mother, it is my job to take care of you, not the other way around.'

At that, Severus fell silent.

'Son,' she signed as she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. 'My troubles here are not your burden to bear.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The Austin Morris is an adorable British car manufactured roughly between the 60s and 70s.  
> A/N The 'dole' back in the day is the British equivalent of being on welfare.


	29. The Good Heart of the Evans Family

'Sev is here!' Lily yelled down the hallway as she opened the door for him. 'You look like a ghost covered in all that snow.'

Severus had been using his school uniform coat for any winter he had gone through while attending Hogwarts. 'And here I am thinking that most people just called me a bat.'

Lily looked at him observingly. 'It's true, you do look a little bit like a bat. Aren't you freezing?'

'Living down in the Slytherin dungeons,' he said as he took his boats and coat off, 'has made me immune to any feelings, I can assure you.'

'So it's safe to assume you won't be needing any of Petunia's hot chocolate to warm you up then,' Lily said with wiggling eyebrows.

Severus looked at her with a stern face. 'Don't you dare deny me hot chocolate when you know how much I love it.'

'Ohhh getting feisty are we?' Lily teased him. 'Tuney, better grab the biggest mug we have 'cause Sev is ready to dunk himself in chocolate.'

A muffled 'sure' came from the kitchen.

Although the house must've been roughly the same size he lived in, it had a certain warm, cozy feeling to it that his own household severely lacked. An L-shaped sofa cornered the living area around a smoldering fireplace. Erwin and Arnica were already sitting there with mugs in their hands.

'Good to see you, Severus,' said Arnica. 'Come and join us.'

'We were just talking about how we think Petunia is throwing her life away by going to London for some silly typing course,' Lily said loudly enough for Petunia to hear.  
'Lily, there's no need to be rude about it,' said Erwin.

Petunia came back with three mugs that she was holding awkwardly in her hands. The largest one, she handed over to Severus, who gladly accepted it.

Petunia, forced to sit next to Severus as it was the only spot left, had a sour complexion on her face. 'How often do I have to repeat myself and tell you that it's my own decision on what I want to do with my life, Lily.'

'At least a dozen more until my tears will drown your creative spirit,' Lily snapped back.

Severus got a smug look on his face. Part of the reason why he enjoyed visiting the Evanses so much was because of Lily and Petunia's consistent bickering. There was never a dull moment in their home.

'At least it hasn't got anything to do with that hocus pocus stuff of yours,' Petunia snapped back.

'At least my hocus pocus stuff will keep me from turning into a boring twit,' Lily said mirroring her sister.

Severus took a sip from his delicious hot chocolate and looked over to Erwin and Arnica. They both had a look on their face that said that they had given up on their daughters bickering a long time ago.

'At least my boyfriend doesn't look like Ozzy Osbourne,' Petunia said in an attempt to insult Severus.

'Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment Petunia,' Severus said calmly as he warmed his hands on his mug.

'Well at least my boyfriend doesn't look like a hairy beluga,' Lily bickered back.

Severus nearly spat out some of his hot chocolate at the mention of "boyfriend".

'I'm not your boyfriend, Lily,' he said carefully.

'You're not Ozzy Osbourne either,' she responded.

'And Vernon's not a hairy beluga,' Petunia said with her nose up in the air. 'Who cares if he's a bit bigger. At least he's normal like the rest of us.'

Petunia's emphasis on the word "normal" seemed to make Lily cringe. 'Too bad we're not a normal family then, are we?'

'Okay girls that's enough!' Arnica said sharply. 'Severus, would you like to stay for dinner?'

He had already expected Arnica to invite him for dinner. It was a thing she did ever since the first day he had set foot over their threshold. 'I don't have much of a choice on that matter, do I?'

'That's right, you don't. Girls, both of you are coming to help me. Boys, do whatever.'

Lily mumbled a 'sorry about that' under her breath as she got up and left to help her mother out in the kitchen.

'Care to go outside with me, Severus?' Erwin asked.

'Sure, I'll go grab my cloak.'

A moment later, both men were standing in the backyard, looking up at the clear night sky.

'Would you like a cigarette?' Erwin asked as he held out a pack.

Severus took one and muttered a thank you. With a snap of his fingers he lit it up and Erwin looked at him in awe. 'Could you do that to mine as well?'

Severus snapped his fingers in front of Erwin's cigarette after he dangled it between his lips. 'Fascinating.'

'It was Lily who taught me how to do that,' Severus said, trying to strike a conversation.

'Lily smokes?' Erwin asked.

Severus could hear by the tone of voice he had entered a danger zone. 'She does it to light fires underneath cauldrons,' he said quickly. 'But Erwin,' Severus said to turn the conversation, 'Lily and I are not together if that is what you were wondering.'

'Thinking about Lily dating boys is the last thing I want to have on my mind right now.' Erwin blew some smoke from his lungs and watched it vaporize in the cold air. 'There's something else that I wanted to talk to you about.'

Severus hoped that it wasn't going to be a conversation about his family. He's had a few of those before with them, and every time it had been an uncomfortable situation.

'I want to talk to you about the war you mentioned.'

Apparently, it could be worse. 'What is it that you want to know?'

'I know that there is something going on in your world, Severus. I may not be a part of it, but I can sense it.'

Severus flicked some ash off his cigarette onto the ground. 'I think the reason why Lily hadn't told you anything is because it's her way of trying to protect her family.'

'Sometimes I wished Lily would understand that it is my job as her father to do that.'

Severus nodded in agreement. 'Too bad she's a stubborn Gryffindor.'

That made Erwin laugh. 'Bloody stubborn she is, just like her father. But on a more serious note here Severus, people from all over the country have been disappearing in mysterious ways lately. I can't help but link it to your world.'

'You are right to believe that. There is a darkness slowly creeping in to our world.'

'Severus,' Erwin looked him in the eye. Erwin's eyes were the same as Lily's and it was slightly discomforting. 'Is Lily in danger out there?'

Severus nodded. 'I'm afraid so.'

'It's because she doesn't come from a magical family, isn't it?'

Now it was Severus's turn to look the man in the eye. 'How come you know about that?'

'Please don't take me for a fool Severus. I've fought in a war before, right there on the frontline. They always go after the things they don't understand and Lily is such a case.'

Speaking with a man about warfare, even if it was about warfare in the muggle way, was a strange sensation. Both had stood on the frontline and faced their enemies. Not that Erwin could possibly understand what Severus had gone through already, but in a way, it was comforting that there was a man beside him who knew how it felt.

'I'm afraid that Lily won't be safe outside of Hogwarts,' Severus said in all honesty.

'I know she won't be,' Erwin responded. 'That's why I'm so glad she has you.'

Severus wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. Lily had died before because of him, for her father to trust him this much was a bit overwhelming.

'I'll do whatever I can,' Severus answered softly. 'I promise.'

Erwin smiled at him, the same way Lily could smile at him if she was pleased about something. 'Care to go back inside?'

They tossed their defused cigarette buds in the litterbin. 'Oh, and Severus, don't mention a thing about the war to Arnica or she'll try to pull Lily out of Hogwarts first thing tomorrow.'

'I can keep a secret,' said Severus.

They made their way back inside and helped to set the table. Severus was glad that it all came back so naturally to him. It was as if his last visit with the Evanses had only been last week, rather than decades.

'Would your mother like to come over for Christmas perhaps?' Arnica asked Severus as they just started to dine.

'I'll ask her, but I don't think she'll like it.'

'How come?'

'When there are too many people around talking and she's trying to follow it can be quite exhausting, her being deaf and all. But I'll ask her before I jump to any conclusions.'

'Really?' Petunia said sardonically. 'Can't we have a Christmas with just the family? You know, without any more weird magicians?'

'I didn't know you and Vernon were already married,' Lily said flatly.

'And Severus here is already practically family,' Erwin added. 'Having one more around isn't going to make that big of a difference.'

Severus felt his insides grow fuzzy at the mentioning of him already being a part of family.

'Fine,' Petunia sighed. 'Sorry, Severus.'

'You know what Petunia,' Severus said as he helped himself to some salad. 'Just for you I will put on a show and start pulling rabbits out of a top hat. How does that sound?'

Everyone but Petunia had to laugh about that. 'You're a wizard, not a magician. I get it.' She said while rolling her eyes.

Sitting here with Lily and her family at the dinner table, it felt like being home.


	30. In Desperate Need for Coffee

When Severus awoke the next morning he found his father already sitting at the dinner table, reading a paper while drinking coffee.

Severus made his way towards the coffee pot, ready to pour himself a cup.

'That's not for you, boy,' Tobias said in a low rumble from behind his paper.

Feeling the need to be passive aggressive, Severus slammed down a cup on the counter and poured himself some coffee anyway.

'What did I just say, boy?' Tobias said while lowering his paper.

'My name is Severus,' he said matter-of-factly, 'not boy.'

Severus was just in time to dodge away from the hot cup of coffee that was hurled towards him. With a sharp shattering sound the cup fell into smithereens against the kitchen tiles.

'If you expect me to clean this up,' Severus said as he looked his father dead in the eye, 'you are mistaken.'

Severus was used to his father's outbursts, especially if he provoked something inside the man that took away his sense of control. But something was off in his father's cold, dark eyes.

'What was that?' Tobias said as quiet as a silence before the storm.

Severus straightened his back the same way he did when speaking to the Dark Lord. 'You do not control me.'

As if the storm cloud has burst, Tobias kicked his chair aside and stomped towards Severus, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. 'Listen to me you little brat,' Tobias spat. 'Your mother and I put you on this planet. I provide for you, put a roof over your head, and you better be grateful for it!'

Severus wrapped his hands around his father's fist to pull him away. 'I never asked for my existence!' He yelled angrily.

Just quick enough to escape his father's clutches, Severus ran up the stairs into his room and locked the door. There, he sank to his knees and tried to figure out what to do next.

He saw the bass and the amp that he had neatly tucked away underneath his bed. Not wanting to spend another minute inside the house, Severus took both of them out from underneath the bed and put them on the windowsill. Straight below his window there was a large dry thorn bush covered in snow.

Determined to take the risk, Severus dropped both his amp and his case on the bush to break the fall. As for himself, having done it a million times over in the past, he held on to the drainpipe alongside his window and slid down until his feet touched the snow.

Glad that both of his things had survived the fall, Severus carried them along and headed for Lily's home.

She must've seen him coming, as she swung the door open with force. 'What the hell, Sev!' She yelled. 'Get in here before you freeze to death.'

He didn't need to be told twice. In the rush of getting out of the house he hadn't bothered to grab his coat and his fingers seemed to be frozen to the amp and case as he tried to put them down.

'Go sit on the couch,' Lily demanded and she ran up the staircase.

He sat down, and wondered where all the other members of the family were. Lily came down with the blanket off her bed and draped it around him.

'Thanks,' he said, feeling comfortable in the feathery warmth.

'Care to tell me what happened?'

'I didn't imply that anything has happened.'

'Judging by your lack of a coat and your snappiness there is; so speak up.'

'What if I don't want to?'

'No hot chocolate for you.'

'Fine, I'll talk. My father's a fucking pig and I want to go back to Hogwarts where I belong.' He let his head hang down and put his hands in his hair. 'I just want to go home.'

By the sinking of the couch he knew that Lily had sat down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Without hesitation, he let his weight lean into her.

'Are you upset, Sev?'

'No, I'm just pissed off.'

'Please take your hands out of your hair.'

He let his hands slump down to his knees. 'I came here so we can play loud music and drown out my screams of agony.'

'You warm up first, then we'll go make some loud music after, that okay?'

The sound of the front door being unlocked traveled down the hallway. Erwin had just gotten home carrying two large grocery bags.

'Hi dad,' Lily said. 'Sev's here.'

Lily must've given her father a certain look that said they needed to talk in private. 'Could you come and help me unpack all these groceries in the kitchen, Lily?'

'I will,' she said to her father. 'Go lay down if you want Sev, I'll be back in a bit.'

Severus let himself tip over when Lily got up and curled up underneath the blanket, welcoming the warmth that was surrounding him.

Lily shared almost everything with her father. Severus could predict that Lily and Erwin were now talking in the kitchen about him, probably worried about why he came running here like that.

As he lay under the blanket, he wished for a moment that he wasn't just mentally, but also physically a grown-up again. Having all these grown-ups fuzzing and worrying over him was starting to get on his nerves.

'Severus,' Erwin said, and Severus could feel both him and Lily sitting down on the couch beside him. 'What happened at home?'

'I can't drink coffee,' he said irritably from underneath the blanket.

'That's it?'

'Basically, yes.'

'Then why do I have the feeling that that's not entirely true?'

'Look,' Severus said sharply as he whipped the blanket away from his face. 'I'm sorry but I prefer not to talk about my father right now.'

'Will there ever be a day when you do, Severus? Because we've seen you run away from home countless times over the past years.'

All he could do was shake his head. 'I don't like it when people are concerned with my life.'

'And that's exactly why we are so concerned about you.' Erwin sighed, 'you know what, you two go upstairs and make some music. Arnica and Petunia will still be out for a while and I miss hearing a lot of loud music coming from upstairs.'

'Good idea,' Lily said. She stood up and grabbed his bass. 'Bring my blanket with you once you come upstairs alright?'

Lily went upstairs and Severus slowly got up, feeling more exhausted than he expected after lying in the comforting warmth.

'Have you asked your mother yet if she wants to come over for Christmas?'

'Not yet,' he said with a yawn. 'I'll ask her tonight.'

Severus draped the blanket over his shoulders and grabbed his amp.

'Severus,' Erwin said before Severus could disappear up the staircase. 'Whatever it is that's going on at your house, please know you're always welcome to come here if you need to.'

Severus let some of his hair fall in front of his face. 'Thank you,' he said softly.

Lily's room was technically the attic, remodeled to look like a bedroom. The walls were covered in band posters and her desk was mostly taken up by one of her most prized possessions, her record player.

A picture of them was hanging above the desk. Erwin had taken them to a motorcycle show up in Oxford after their first year at Hogwarts. They were standing in front of a brand new Limabird LT, arms over each other's shoulders.

He remembered having a copy of that picture. He had torn up it after their fifth year, not wanting to hold on to any memories of her at that time. After her death he had regretted making the grave mistake of throwing out everything related to her.

Lily was sitting on her bed, tuning up her guitar. Severus put his amp on the floor and tossed the blanket over her. 'Brought your blanket back for you.'

'Aw Sev, now my hair is all messed up!' She said as she pulled it off.

'Your hair is always messed up.'

She flicked her hair back and a pillow hit him straight in his stomach. 'Too bad you're not taller, you could've hit me in the face.'

Lily's eyes narrowed dangerously. 'You better plug in your bass and play, mister.'

Knowing not to poke her boundaries any further, Severus plugged in his amp, unrolled a cord and started tuning up his bass. 'And what would the lady like to play?' He asked in his sweetest voice.

'How about some Springsteen? Or did you want something louder?'

'Springsteen's fine with me.'

The frustration that was held tightly in his body released as they started practicing the first song. It felt good to be making music with her again.

After a while they heard a knocking on the door. Erwin had come up with a plate of cookies and two mugs for them. 'Got some tea for you, Lily,' he said as he handed her a mug. 'And I've made you some coffee Severus, I figured you could use some.'

...

Severus walked home that evening (after dinner, as Arnica insisted), with a coat that Erwin had loaned him.

Once home he found his mother sitting on the couch reading. 'Hello mum,' he signed to her after he sat beside her on the couch. 'Where's Tobias?'

'No idea, probably at the pub. Have you been making music with Lily?'

Severus nodded. 'It's been a while.'

'I haven't seen you play bass in a long time. You should play for me.'

Severus smiled at her. 'I could do that. Good thing Tobias isn't home. I'll go plug in the amp.'

He put the amp down on the hardwood floor and turned it up as far as he could. Eileen could sense the vibrations caused by the bass through the floor, through her feet. She took her shoes off and placed her feet flat on the floor, ready to see Severus play.

'I can always tell how you feel when you play,' Eileen signed to him after he finished the first song.

'Then what am I feeling?' he asked her curiously.

'Like you just came back from Lily.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N In case anyone's interested, I recommend looking up the movie: La Famille Bélier. It's a French movie about a deaf family with a hearing daughter who wants to be a singer. It's a funny movie that's simultaneously very insightful in the incredibly loud lives of the deaf.


	31. At the Radcliffe Camera

'Mum said she'll come over to visit for an hour or so tomorrow,' Severus said to the Evanses as he ate a late breakfast with them. 'Would that be okay?'

'Sure, no problem,' said Arnica. 'I'm glad she wants to come.'

It was the day before Christmas and Lily had convinced Severus to go with them on the family's pre-Christmas shopping spree. Looking over at Erwin, Severus was not the only one who was dreading the day.

'And how exactly are we all supposed to fit inside the car?' Petunia asked. 'Not to mention all the things we are going to bring back?'

'Lily can just sit on Severus's lap if necessary,' Arnica answered, turning to Erwin. 'It's a good thing you and I already got the tree last night.'

'This is going to suck,' Petunia whined. 'I'm so glad Vernon is coming over tonight.'

'He's already coming over tonight?' Lily shrieked. 'This day is going to suck.'

As Lily and Petunia began to bicker, Severus kept lazily chewing on his bacon. The idea of Lily having to sit on his lap gave the whole Christmas shopping ordeal a positive twist after all.

'So where exactly are we going?' Severus asked.

'Oxford,' Erwin said with an annoyed tone. 'We should've done this whole Christmas preparation thing a lot sooner.'

After they had eaten their breakfast, they all cramped together in the car. Although it looked like Lily had just enough space to squeeze herself in the middle, she hopped on Severus's lap anyway. Her hair tickled his face as she leaned against him and he couldn't help but feel grateful that he was wearing a long cloak.

The trip there consisted mostly of listing off the things they needed to do. Getting new ornaments for the tree was one of them, as most of the old ones were broken or had gone missing. Another major thing was the food and, as expected, neither Lily, Petunia, nor Arnica could settle on what to put on the table.

Through the hassle of the three women discussing what to put on the table, Severus and Erwin had switched over to talking about motorcycles.

'Do you remember that bike shop, Severus?' Erwin asked.

'I sure do,' he answered. 'Maybe they still have that Triumph I was after.'

'They stopped making the T120 this year,' said Erwin. 'So if you still want it, you better start saving for it.'

Severus had nearly forgotten how passionate he and Erwin could talk about motorcycles. It was a thing he had given up on after joining the Dark Lord, as it was considered too muggle.

'I should,' he said. 'I'm making quite a bit with potion brewing. If I keep it up I could have enough by next summer.'

Erwin looked over at him with twinkling eyes. 'If you get one Severus, I'll teach you how to ride it.'

'Even if I can make it fly?'

Erwin's mouth fell open. 'Then you better get a sidecar with it.'

They had made it to Oxford and parked somewhere on Broad Street. As Lily got off his lap he felt the blood rush back to his legs.

'I wonder if the Radcliffe Camera is open today,' said Lily. 'Can we pay a quick visit before we make it to High Street?'

Radcliffe Camera is an old circular library that, although only Severus and Lily knew it, contained a whole section of magical books.

'I would like to go, too!' said Petunia. 'Can we visit it for just a bit?'

'We can go,' said Erwin, 'but remember that we have to get a lot of things done and still need to drive home. I doubt Vernon would appreciate it if he arrived and no-one was there to answer the door.'

Fortunately, the library was open. Its decorated marble pillars and dark bookshelves were an impressive sight to behold.

'I think the wizarding section is upstairs,' Lily whispered. 'I heard Madam Pince mention it once in passing.'

Together they split from the family and made their way up the stairs. There were no students to be found upstairs. Not that that was much of a surprise, as all the universities were closed around Christmas.

After walking three-quarters of the circle, a large bookshelf materialized in front of their eyes.

'Look at all these books!' Lily said excitedly. 'I'm not even sure if some of these can be found at Hogwarts.'

She had pulled out a book on Arctic and Equatorial dragons and started leafing through it. Severus found a few interesting potion books, but none that he hadn't seen before.

'Well well, Mister Snape.'

A cold shiver ran down his spine. Malfoy had appeared from the other side of the shelf.

'What brings you here on a day like this?'

'Lily,' Severus said firmly without taking his eyes off Malfoy. 'Could you go downstairs and wait for me there.'

'Absolutely not,' she said as she slammed the book shut. 'What is it that you want, Malfoy?'

'Feisty little girl, aren't you?' Malfoy said amused.

At the mention of the word "little" Lily had drawn her wand.

'There's no need for that, Miss Evans,' Malfoy said coldly. 'I merely wish to have a quick word with Mister Snape and be on my way.'

The last thing Severus wanted was for Lily to get involved with anything related to the Dark Lord, but he knew she wasn't going to leave his side.

'Whatever it is that you have to say, Malfoy,' Severus said darkly, 'say it now. I haven't got all day.'

'The Dark Lord sends his regards. Although I don't quite understand his fascination with you. He still thinks you may change your mind while you're still attending Hogwarts.'

'Why are you here, Malfoy?' Lily said from behind them.

'I'm here to visit the Rosiers. Sadly, their son decided to stay behind at school this year.' Malfoy looked sharply at Severus, as if he somehow knew Severus had something to do with it.

'You may tell the Dark Lord I have no interest in joining his cause, Malfoy,' Severus said with his arms folded. 'And Rosier decided to stay behind to work on his OWLs.'

'I'm not telling the Dark Lord anything. If he has an interest in you, he will find a way to find you,' he said with an evil grin. 'As for Rosier, I hope you're being honest with me.'

'You know Rosier's not the brightest.'

'I am aware, that's why I am giving you the benefit of the doubt…for now.'

'Lily,' Severus said again without looking at her. 'I think it's time for us to leave.'

Without exchanging a formal goodbye he grabbed Lily by the sleeve and dragged her down the stairs. She hastily tucked her wand back in her pocket. 'What the hell was that all about, Sev?'

'We'll talk about it,' he said with a hint of anger, 'but not today.'

They found the rest of the family browsing through the history section. Erwin was pointing at pictures of airplanes he had seen flying during the war.

'Find anything interesting upstairs?' asked Arnica.

'Not really,' they said in unison.

'Time to get some shopping done,' Lily said, perhaps a little too happily.

'Alright,' Erwin said as he snapped the book shut. 'Let's go.'

High Street was extremely busy. Severus was walking closely beside Lily, feeling nervous as they made their way through the crowds. It didn't go unnoticed that Erwin did the exact same thing with his wife. There was no control in a place like this and Severus started to understand that the problem with his panic attacks might be related to the war he fought.

Walking through the department store was a nightmare. Lily caught sight of it when Severus's face turned white as a sheet and made sure that they were out as fast as possible.

The last thing they needed to do was get groceries. The grocery store seemed even more packed than the department store had, that was the point where Severus drew the line.

'Lily,' he said as he felt his palms getting sweaty. 'I'm going to stay out here and wait if that's okay.'

'I'll stay with you,' said Erwin. He had a face that said he was more than happy to have an excuse to stay behind.

'Leave the bickering with mum and Tuney to me,' said Lily. 'We'll be back in, well, hopefully not too long.'

Erwin and Severus quickly made their way into a deserted narrow back alley and both let out a sigh of relief.

'You're shaking,' Erwin said as he looked at Severus.

'I hate crowds,' Severus answered with a dry voice. 'They make me feel like I've lost control.'

Severus crouched down and leaned against the brick wall, trying to contain himself.

'Would you like a cigarette?' Erwin asked him as he crouched down beside him.

'I could use it.'

Severus lit up both cigarettes with a flick of his fingers again.

'Wouldn't the ministry of magic know if you used magic?' Erwin asked as he blew smoke from his lungs.

'This is wandless magic. I think it's only wand magic they can trace, as wands are bound to a wizard, like a license plate is to a car.'

Saying it out loud actually made Severus wonder if he could apparate without being traced, but it wasn't worth the risk for now.

'What happened at the library, Severus?'

'What makes you think something happened?' Severus asked in surprise.

'You both came downstairs claiming that absolutely nothing happened, which is usually an indication that something happened.'

'We ran into someone from school,' Severus admitted. 'Or someone who used to go to Hogwarts at least. He's a bit older than we are.'

'You make it sound like you don't trust him.'

'I don't. He is working on the side that I am trying to protect Lily from, which is a tough thing to do considering the fact that she wants to fight, rather than go into hiding.'

Erwin's eyes grew bigger at Severus's statement. 'Lily wants to fight?'

The panic that had started to rush through him, still hadn't entirely left his body. The shaking feeling he had started to get worse and he dropped the cigarette he was holding between his fingers.

Erwin was looking at him with concern. 'Are you doing alright, son?'

Severus shook his head and put his hands in his hair.

Carefully Erwin put his hands on Severus's shoulders and pulled him in closer. 'Severus,' he whispered as Severus leaned against him, 'it is perfectly okay to be afraid.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The Radcliffe Camera is a library that belongs to Oxford University. Yes, I chose it solely for its name.


	32. The Mayhem that is Christmas at the Evanses House

Both Severus and Eileen were standing in front of the door of the Evanses and had dressed themselves up in the least shabby clothes they were able to find.

'I'm leaving right after dinner,' she signed to him. 'I can't wait to see Lily though. You still haven't brought her over.' She looked very displeased when she said it.

'I'm not bringing her over until I'm absolutely certain Tobias is gone,' he signed back forcefully.

She looked like she was about to argue when the front door opened, revealing a well dressed up Petunia. 'Come on in,' she said with a wave of her hand.

'Mum and dad are in the kitchen prepping things up for dinner and I think Lily's still upstairs.'

Lily came running down as soon as she heard the door being shut and pulled Eileen into a tight embrace.

With stiff, difficult gestures, she tried to sign with Eileen. 'It's good to see you!'

'It's good to see you too, dear,' Eileen signed back happily.

'We made uhm—how do you say lemon cakes for dessert, Sev?'

'She can read lips,' he said, looking at Lily's signing attempt with amusement.

Many years ago, when Lily found out Eileen was deaf, she became determined to communicate with her through sign language. They spent hours down by the river practicing words and sentence structure. Lily's devotion to it had been a thing he had always admired about her.

'Please do come inside.'

The Christmas tree was decorated with fairy lights and the red and green baubles they had bought at the department store. A radio was playing Christmas songs in the background. The fireplace was burning softly, warming up the place just enough not to get smothered by the heat.

Eileen was exchanging her hellos with the rest of the family and sat down with Lily on the couch, chatting about things Severus didn't catch.

At the table, which was neatly decorated with china, was a beefy young man with a bristly moustache.

'You must be Vernon,' Severus said with an attempt at being polite.

Vernon didn't say a word back, but looked him up and down with suspicion and obvious disapproval.

'You must be Lily's boyfriend Petunia told me about,' Vernon said dryly.

'I'm not her boyfriend actually, just her friend.'

'What was your name again?'

'Severus. Severus Snape.'

'Like that Roman emperor?'

'I'm honestly not sure if that's who I was named after, but yes, like the Roman emperor.'

It quickly became obvious that Vernon was a man of little words. With difficulty, Severus had managed to find out Vernon and Petunia had met at work and that he was going to take over his father's drilling company in the near future.

Severus looked at Lily over Vernon's shoulder, who was still chatting it up with Eileen. He felt a little guilty, knowing now that her son had to put up with her sister and this man for so many years. Severus was surprised that the boy hadn't died out of sheer boredom, having to deal with this extreme life of normality.

'So, you're one of those wizard people?' Vernon asked.

'I am. So is my mother over there.'

'I never quite understood all this magic talk that Petunia likes to rant on and on about. Keeps complaining about her sister being a witch, yet I've never seen her do any magic.'

'We're underage, so we're not allowed to do any magic outside of school until then. But since my mum's here, perhaps she can demonstrate for you.'

Vernon looked at him as if he wasn't quite sure whether he wanted to witness something like that or not. 'What kind of magic tricks can I expect when she does?'

'That's up to her. Mum's deaf, so her magic's a little different from Lily and mine.'

'Maybe it's better if she didn't then.'

'What is it you're afraid of?'

'It's not that I'm afraid,' Vernon snapped at him, clearly afraid. 'It's the fact that Petunia is already jealous enough of her sister as it is. I don't want her to turn into people like you.'

Severus looked at him dangerously. 'What is it you are implying, Vernon?'

Vernon's face started to turn red. 'That I don't want my girlfriend having to deal with this hocus pocus nonsense. She wants to lead a normal life without all this magic and painting and—'

'— hold up, are you the reason she is no longer painting?'

'What's the problem? It's not as if I want all those colourful drabbles hanging around the house once we find a place to live.'

Severus balled his fists. 'What purpose does it serve,' he said angrily through his teeth, 'to take away the only spark of magic that Petunia has, that she is proud of?'

'All she wants to be is a good housewife,' Vernon stated matter-of-factly.

'Somehow, I highly doubt that,' Severus said with pure venom in his voice.

Lily had been more than right about Vernon. He was awful and that was putting it mildly.

'Is there anything I can do for you?' He asked Arnica and Erwin in the kitchen.

'Yes, there is actually,' said Arnica. 'Could you help Erwin cut up some vegetables for the beef stew? I want to take a break and talk to your mother for a bit.'

'I can do that,' Severus said as he took the cutting knife from her.

Erwin and Severus were now the only ones in the kitchen. 'Feeling a bit better?' Erwin asked.

'I am,' Severus said as he looked Erwin in the eye. 'Thank you for helping me out yesterday.'

'Does Lily know about these panic attacks of yours?'

'You didn't tell her did you?'

Erwin shook his head. 'I figured that's something between you and Lily.'

'Thanks. She does know about it though, but I don't want her to be more concerned about me than she already is.'

'I understand. You know Severus, it's not exactly a family tradition here to exchange gifts at Christmas, but there's something that I've been wanting to give to you.'

Severus put down his knife on the cutting board. 'I'm sorry, I didn't bring any gifts with me.'

Erwin waved it off. 'Don't worry about it, it's just something from me to you.'

Erwin fumbled around in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a silver key. 'It's the key to the front door,' he said as he handed it to Severus. 'Now you can always come here if you need to.'

Tears started to well up in his eyes as he looked down at the key in his hand. 'Thank you,' he said with a cracking voice.

Erwin pulled him into a gentle embrace, which Severus gladly returned. 'You're always welcome here, son,' Erwin said softly to him. 'And if it makes you feel any better, Vernon's not getting one.'

That made Severus laugh. 'You saw me talking to him?'

Erwin rolled his eyes. 'Vernon's nice to Petunia, but he doesn't seem to understand a thing about her.'

Erwin had just said that right on time, as Petunia just walked into the kitchen.

'Can I start serving the soup?' She asked. 'It looks ready.'

'Sure,' Erwin said as he went back to cutting up beef. 'Feel free to round everyone up. Severus and I will finish this so it can simmer while we eat.'

Lily had saved Severus a seat beside her at the table. The conversations were a bit of a mess, as Severus had to translate a lot of things that were exchanged between his mother and anyone else.

'How did Eileen meet Tobias?' Petunia asked curiously. 'She had you when you were young didn't she?'

Severus felt the urge to snap back but Eileen just signed, 'Go ahead, you know the story. I have nothing to hide.'

Everybody at the table went quiet to listen to the story, which made Severus feel rather uncomfortable.

'So, my grandparents from my father's side are deaf. Shortly after my mum graduated from Hogwarts, she met my father and his parents at a restaurant in Oxford that is specifically for deaf people. They hit it off and had me shortly afterwards.'

Vernon was looking at Eileen and Severus with disapproval. 'Were they not married before they had you?'

'No Vernon,' Severus said as he chewed on some beef, 'they were not.'

'So you're technically a bastard,' Vernon said nonchalantly.

Eileen was looking wide-eyed at Vernon's bold statement.

'Yes, Vernon,' Severus said angrily, 'I am a bloody bastard. I am the bastard of yet another despicable muggle like yourself.' The friendly atmosphere of before was definitely gone now.

'What did you just call me?' Vernon said darkly.

'A despicable muggle, Vernon. It's what we wizards call people who can't do magic.'

Vernon's face was turning an alarming shade of red. 'I don't want to deal with any of this magic you speak off.'

'Is that so? Because a moment ago you didn't seem to care whether my mum could show you some magic tricks or not.'

'Knock it off!' It was Petunia who yelled through their bickering, and slammed her utensils on the table. 'I don't want to be talking about magic at Christmas. It always comes down to magic. Why can't ever just have a family gathering the way it used to be?'

Petunia was starting to get tears in her eyes, old hurtful feelings were starting to pour out of her. 'I can't do magic,' she said with a broken voice. 'But I wish I could, because for once I would like to be good at something without being criticized for it. I just want—'

Petunia had given up on trying to explain herself and disappeared up the staircase, slamming the door of her bedroom behind her.

'Is there something I can do, Severus?' Eileen signed to him. 'I recognize Tobias's jealously in her.'

Severus was glad that no one seemed to have understood what she said. 'It's not your fault mum, let me handle this.'

Severus stood up from the table.

'What are you going to do, Sev?' Lily asked as she looked up to him.

'I'm going to speak with Petunia,' he said calmly.

'Why would I let you speak with my girlfriend?' Vernon barked at him.

'First of all,' Severus said as he made his way to the staircase, 'you're not even attempting to go and comfort your girlfriend, as she's obviously upset about the situation. And also,' his voice rose a little, 'she's not your property that can be molded to your will.'

Vernon looked like he was ready to stand up and punch Severus in the face, but thought better of it considering the company he was surrounded with.

'Petunia and I never quite got along over the past years Vernon, but even I can tell she deserves a better man than you.'


	33. The Art of Petunia Evans

Severus had no idea what he wanted to say to Petunia, neither did he know in what situation he was going to find her.

He knocked on her door, waiting for some sort of signal that he could come in.

'Who's there?' He heard from behind the door.

'It's Severus, can I please speak with you.'

'And why would you want to speak with me?' She said with a bitchy tone in her voice.

'You're upset because of Vernon and I. At least allow me to make this up to you.'

'When the hell did you start caring about my feelings?' She shrieked.

'Petunia, you should know by now that I don't really do feelings, but there's a point where we need to grow up and stop hurting each other for no particular reason.'

'Where's Vernon?'

'He's not coming. I made sure of that.'

'Fine, just get in alright.'

Severus opened up the door, facing an alarming shade of pink that reminded him a tad too much of Dolores Umbridge. Fortunately, most of the surface was covered in paintings Petunia had made. The paintings depicted forests, beaches and other landscapes. But there were also pencil drawings of what must've been fantasy scenes from books she'd read.

There was no denying. Petunia certainly had a talent for art.

She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, dabbing her eyes with tissues.

Severus closed the door behind him, not wanting to be overheard by the people downstairs.

'Can I sit beside you?'

Petunia raised her shoulders. 'Just do what you need to do.'

He sat down next to her, looking at all the paintings and sketches that adorned the room. 'I just realised that I never bothered to take a good look at your art, Petunia.'

'And why would you suddenly care about my art?'

'Because this is your magic and I think it's beautiful.'

Petunia grew a little more confident after his compliment. 'What do you mean by that?'

'Vernon slipped that you are a little jealous of your sister.'

She turned her head away in an attempt to hide her scowl. 'Wouldn't you be, if you found out that your perfect little sister has a gift?'

'Yes, very much so.'

'Don't pretend you don't know anything, Severus,' she said angrily. 'You and Lily found Dumbledore's letter in my room before she left to go to Hogwarts. You know that I can't stand it that everything is always about Lily and her magic, like my presence means nothing.'

'I highly doubt that that's the way your parents look at you, Petunia.'

'Why was Lily born magical, Severus? You I can understand, having a mother as a witch, but Lily…her gift came from nothing.'

'I wish I had an answer to that, but, even in our world, we don't quite understand why people like Lily are suddenly born with magic, without a magical ancestry.'

'Don't you have any idea why, Severus?' Petunia said while wiping away a tear. 'Why is it that she can be a part of a world that only exists in fantasy stories for me?'

She pointed at some of the sketches around the edge of her bed. Images of colourful dragons and impossible landscapes were lying, scattered around Severus's feet.

Petunia's voice went down to a whisper. 'Why is it that you and Lily can see all this beauty and I have to go through life pretending it isn't real?'

'But it is real, Petunia. It is just as real to you as it is to us.'

Petunia rolled her eyes. 'Don't speak in riddles to me, Severus. If you have any idea why Lily is so blessed while I am cursed, just tell me.'

Severus sat down on the bed and sat crossed-legged in front of Petunia, looking her straight in the eye.

'I have a theory, but before you start arguing with me I need you to understand that it is just a theory, I could be wrong.'

Petunia nodded. 'I understand.'

'Like everything in life, things are set in motion with a spark of energy; magic is no different from that. Like some sort of nuclear force, the magic that Lily and I have is connected with our nerves and brain and that is how we create or destroy things with our mind.'

Petunia was getting curious. 'Is that why you use a wand?'

'Yes, because it is a way for us to channel the energy that flows through us. Otherwise we would just be a danger to ourselves.'

'But Severus, how does that make it any more real for me?'

'In essence, since magic is a form of energy, it is around you constantly. You live and breathe it every single day. You, as a muggle, essentially have magical abilities too, even though it is not the same as ours.'

'What do you mean by that,' Petunia snorted. 'It's not like I have any powers.'

'You're confusing magic with power, Petunia. Magic is about creation. Like all of these paintings and sketches you've made are a creation. They flew through you, came from you, and the result is that you made something beautiful for everyone to see.'

Petunia's eyes were drying up, but she still didn't look any happier than before. 'I stopped painting.'

'And why did you stop?'

'It's not Vernon, if that's what you think. He doesn't like my art, but he's not what's stopping me from picking up a brush again.'

'Then what is it?'

'Lily,' she said grudgingly. 'After she came home with all those pictures of people moving in their frames and talks about how the paintings at her school could move and talk, I no longer looked at my work the same way.'

'So you think all of this is dull and boring?'

'Yes, I think it is.'

'Which one is your favourite?'

Petunia pointed at a large painting above her bed. 'This one.'

It was quite a simple landscape. The waves of the ocean were depicted in intricate detail, along with an empty beach and grassy dunes in the distance.

'What makes it so special to you?'

'I painted that when we went on holiday to Normandy and dad brought us to Omaha beach. Dad told us stories about the thousands of men who landed here and fought and died, but all I could see was a serene beach with grass dancing along in the wind. Dad saw a war and I saw something pretty.'

'I like it.'

'I wish the waves would move the same way as they did on that day.'

'If you want to, I think I can make it happen for you.'

'I thought you were not allowed to do magic outside of school?'

'I'm not, but I have my own ways of making things happen.'

Petunia wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees. 'I still wish I could go to Hogwarts like you and Lily.'

'You know Petunia, the reason why Lily and I go to a special school is not necessarily because we are better, but because we are dangerous if we do not learn how to control the magic within us.'

'It's not just the spells and the wand waving, Severus. I just wish I could see the castle and all the creatures the way that Lily talks about them. I just want them to be more than stories.'

'What makes you think our world is invisible to you?'

'Because up to this day I still haven't seen any dragons or unicorns prancing around.'

'Petunia, the only reason why you haven't seen any of it till this day is because, like most muggles, you shun the idea that it is real. If you wish to see it, you have to believe in it.'

'Is it that simple?'

'It is that simple. If you still want to see those waves moving, could you hand me your painting.'

Petunia stood up on her bed and carefully lifted the painting off its hook. She handed it over to Severus, who took another good look at it from up close.

'I'm impressed with the amount of detail you put into this, Petunia.'

'Thanks,' she said, turning a little red. 'That actually means a lot coming from you.'

'How come you don't want to go to art school?'

'Not sure. Vernon doesn't think it's a good idea for me to go. Says there's no money in the art business and I do have to agree with that.'

'There's no money in working at some boring office all day either,' Severus said with more force than he intended. 'Don't let a man ruin your magic, Petunia. Your talent is way too valuable to be wasted.'

At that, Petunia nearly started to cry again. 'I just want to live a normal life, Severus.'

Severus placed his hands over the painting. 'Like Lily said before, your family isn't normal. It never will be and, perhaps, you need to learn to accept that fact rather than let some man force you into a normality that you did not grow up in.'

He felt a warm glow starting to flow through his hands, trying hard to imagine what the waves must've looked like the day that Petunia and the rest of the family were there.

'How did you learn how to do this?' Petunia asked curiously.

'From my mother,' he said honestly. 'She has gone through her whole life knowing how to perform non-verbal and wandless magic, as she could never say it out loud.'

'That almost sounds like a special gift,' Petunia said.

Severus felt the waves starting to move underneath his hands, feeling a little wet to the touch. 'That is my mother's gift. She doesn't know how to destroy. She can only heal and create and I think that's beautiful.'

Once satisfied, he lifted up his hands, revealing the waves slowly rolling onto the beach with the tide. The sand moved along with the flow off the water and the dune grass waved softly in the wind.

Petunia looked at it teary eyed, only this time out of happiness. 'This has to be the most beautiful Christmas gift I have ever received.'

Carefully she took the painting from Severus's hands and hung it back up on the wall. 'I'm going to stare at this all night.'

'Glad I could be of help. Did you still want dessert or would you rather have me leave you alone?'

'I'll come downstairs with you. Wouldn't want to miss out on the lemon cake mum and I made.'

Before they went back downstairs, Petunia had one thing left to say. 'My sister is lucky to have you as a friend Severus. I can see that now.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Yes, Severus is performing wandless magic here. As I mentioned in a previous chapter, I believe it's only the magic channeled though wands that the Ministry is able to trace.


	34. By the Snap of a Wand

It had been several days since his little talk with Petunia and she had been significantly kinder to him since. Although he doubted he would ever have a proper friendship with Petunia, considering their past, he appreciated the fact that she was no longer resenting him so much.

Today was the day before new years and Severus was dreading the fireworks that were going to be lit in their neighbourhood. The more he came to terms with it, the more he understood that his panic attacks were related to the war he fought in. Like crowds, fireworks were a thing he had no control over, but at least he had his wand to protect himself in case it was absolutely necessary. A thing he couldn't do in a crowd full of muggles.

Before heading to see Lily, he spent most of the afternoon with his mother. Tobias had gone to the pub, Severus could only hope he wasn't wasting all the money they had from the dole they were living off.

'Mum, are you sure you don't want to come with me tonight?' Severus asked her as they ate their early dinner.

'No,' she signed. 'I have to stay here in case your father comes home.'

'Why!' Severus snapped as he banged a fist on the table. 'Why do you still care about that man? What does this man have to add to our lives other than misery, uncertainty, and the fear of getting beaten up?'

Eileen started to get tense after Severus's outburst. 'I married him so I could take care of you.'

'You don't need to take care of me, mum.'

'I am your mother Severus. You are my responsibility until you are ready to leave the house.'

'I've been ready to leave this place for a long time,' he said while looking angrily at her.

'Then go!' She said with a swift motion of her arm. 'If you don't want to be here, leave.'

'Mother, I am not going anywhere until I know that you are safe!'

Eileen started to get tears in her eyes. 'I have nowhere to go, Severus,' she signed. 'This is the only family I have left.'

Severus didn't know how to answer that. In his previous life, he had not been able to convince her to move away either. She felt an obligation towards Tobias that Severus could never quite understand.

'I'm afraid to be alone.'

It was the last thing she said until Severus heard the front door open and turned around to see his father walk in, much earlier than expected. Tobias had the same strange look in his eyes that Severus had seen a few days prior.

'Are you drunk?' Severus asked boldly.

'What's it to you boy?' Tobias spat back.

'So you are. That's settled then.'

In a flash, Severus felt himself being dragged out of the chair by his collar and had his back pushed up against the wall.

Eileen looked horrified at the display, not knowing what Severus had said to his father to tip him off so much.

'And you dare call yourself a man,' Severus spat angrily at his father while trying to push him away.

'I'll always be twice the man you are. You're weak. Wearing your hair long like some fucking nancy boy!'

Severus had managed to slip away from his fathers grip. 'At least I'll always have magic.' He reached for his wand in his back pocket, but as if he had stepped into ice cold water, he felt that his pockets were empty.

'Looking for this?' His father asked mockingly, holding up Severus's wand in his fist. 'Think you can threaten me with this, huh?'

Tobias turned around and faced Eileen. 'Give me your bloody wand!' He barked at her.

She didn't need to hear to know what he was after and viciously shook her head. 'Never,' she signed, but Tobias wouldn't have any of it.

He roughly dragged her out of her chair and started feeling her up in search of her wand.

'Stop it!' Severus yelled and he flung himself around Tobias's neck, but it was already too late. He had found her wand, now holding on to both of them in his tightly clenched fist.

Immediately Severus let go and jumped between his parents with his arms stretched out to protect his mother, who was now whimpering on the floor. 'Don't you touch her!' He yelled in a rage he hadn't felt in a long time.

'She's my wife, I'll do whatever the fuck I want with her.'

'And she's my mother and I swear if you touch her, my face will be the last thing you ever see!'

Without his wand, Severus had never felt so useless. He may be strong mentally and magically, but physically he had never been able to defend himself.

'Give me back my wand!' He scowled.

Tobias shook his head in a manner that seemed way too calm for the situation they were in.

'I don't think so,' he said softly. 'I'm done with magic.' Without warning, he snapped Eileen's wand in half. A puff of smoke came out of the wand, as if it were its last breath.

'And I am done with you.' With a bit more difficulty, Tobias snapped Severus's wand in not one, but three different pieces, as if to make sure that it could never be used against him again.

Tobias tossed the wand pieces aside into a corner of the kitchen.

Severus closed his eyes, knowing what was about to come. He was, once again, entirely powerless against his father and surrendered when he felt a fist hit him straight in his stomach.

...

He woke up to a bright light and the sound of beeping noises. It had to be the hospital, he knew that much and it wasn't St. Mungo's either.

His left eye was tightly shut, but he did manage to open up his right and saw a mess of red hair draped over him. Lily was lying with her face planted into the mattress while holding on to his hand.

He gently squeezed hers to check if she was awake. 'Hello little lady,' he said softly. With a jolt she sat up straight, her face still red from the tears she must've shed.

'Oh, Sev,' she said in a mousy voice, as the tears started to flow freely from her eyes again. 'How are you feeling?'

'Fine,' he said dryly. 'More than fine actually.' He was surprised at his own statement.

'That's probably because you're drugged up,' Lily said with a smile through her tears. 'You're a mess.'

'How's mum? Is she alright?'

Lily's little smile was immediately wiped from her face. 'I don't know Sev, the doctors are still with her.'

'How did I get here? This isn't St. Mungo's.'

'I would've opted for you and Eileen to go there if I knew where it was, but this was the next best thing we could do.'

Severus noticed that his left hand, his dominant hand, was wrapped up and plastered. 'I can't feel a damn thing.'

'That is just the morphine. You're getting quite a lot of that.'

A nurse just walked in to check up on him. 'Did he wake up?' she asked with a gentle voice.

'Yes,' Lily said, 'and he's talking so I guess he hasn't lost his mind.'

The nurse walked around him to check on his vitals. 'Considering the condition you are in Mister Snape, you're doing just fine. Try to rest as much as possible if you can.'

'How did I get here?' He repeated.

Lily waited for the nurse to leave and started to get teary eyed again. 'You were late so I walked over to see if you had forgotten or something. Then I saw you and Eileen through the kitchen window and—'

The memory of finding Severus and his mother knocked out on the kitchen floor was still too fresh in her mind. '—I broke in, checked on both of you and called the alarm number. The police found your father somewhere out in town, all confused not too long after that.'

'Where's your family?' He said while squeezing her hand reassuringly.

'Dad's still talking with the police downstairs. I think mum and Petunia are walking around the building to occupy themselves.'

Slowly it started to get through to Severus that his situation at Spinner's End will never be the same again. 'What's going to happen to me?'

Lily raised her shoulders. 'I'm not sure, but I don't think you'll be able to go back home after what happened.'

'How long have I been here?'

'You're asking an awful lot of questions, Sev.'

'I hate being out of control. I need to know what's happening.'

'You've only been here for a few hours. It's close to new years.'

'It feels like I've been here for weeks.'

Almost soundlessly, Erwin had walked into the room and sat down on the other side of the bed. His face that looked as if he was too tired to be horrified. 'I see you're awake,' Erwin said as he leaned on the bed. 'I'm so glad you're awake.'

Erwin, who always seemed so reserved, couldn't help but shed a few tears. 'I spoke with the police, and they are going to want to speak with you tomorrow.'

'Do I have to?'

'I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice in the matter, Severus. You need to speak up about your father.'

Arnica and Petunia walked in, looking just as exhausted as Lily and Erwin did. They grabbed two more chairs and sat down by the end of the bed.

'It's good to see you awake, Severus,' Arnica said, teary eyed. Petunia seemed to be at a loss for words about the whole situation and just stared blankly ahead of her.

For a moment, no words were exchanged until a middle-aged man wearing scrubs walked into the room.

'Are you all family of Eileen Snape?'

'Yes we are,' Lily said quickly before any of her family members could say that they weren't.

'Then it is with my sincere regret that I must inform all of you that Eileen passed away due to her injuries,' he said gravely. 'We did everything we could.'

The silence that fell after the doctor left was sharper than a knife. Eileen was dead. Nothing could ever bring her back from the dead.

All four of the Evanses looked at Severus as if they were waiting for him to break down.

In his previous life, Eileen had died at the end of the summer before his sixth year. She had put a knife to her wrists and let the blood drain out of her, as if she had tried to rid herself of her magic that had flowed through her veins.

She was not supposed to die sooner. She was not supposed to die at all.

Severus pulled his right hand away from Lily's grip and grabbed the pillow from underneath his head. He hid his face under it, surrounding himself in darkness.

He wished he had died instead of her.


	35. Farewell to Spinner's End

e had not been able to sleep. He had not eaten either. He had not even shed a tear since the news that his mother had died had been broken to him.

All he could do was stare blankly ahead as he was carried to a wheelchair and taken down to a room to speak with the muggle police.

Petunia and Arnica had gone home, exhausted from the nightmare that had come to life the previous day. Lily and Erwin however, were determined to remain by his side.

The conversation that followed was nothing more than a blur to him. They mentioned something about Tobias's arrest and that he was to be jailed until court, which was most likely going to result in life long imprisonment.

Severus didn't care. None of that could bring his mother back.

'She died trying to protect him—'

'—What did you say?' Severus said suddenly.

'I said,' the officer repeated, 'through some investigation it became quite clear to us that your mother had tried to protect you from your father after you lost consciousness.'

Severus did not know how to respond to that, so he kept his mouth closed instead.

'Do you wish to be assigned any psychological support Mister Snape?' One of the police officers asked.

'I'll arrange my own, thank you.'

The officer looked up at Erwin. 'Are you still interested in pursuing what we discussed yesterday, Mister Evans?'

'I sure am, sir,' Erwin said.

'What would that be?' Lily asked curiously.

'Not right now, love. You'll find out soon enough.'

'I wish to see my mother,' Severus stated.

The officers took it as a sign that they were done talking, shook hands with Erwin and Lily, and left.

'Are you sure about this Severus?' Erwin asked, as they made their way down to the mortuary.

'I am sure,' he said. 'I want to say goodbye now that I still can.'

Once downstairs Erwin had a quick word with the mortician, and she led them down the freezer filled aisle that was holding all the bodies.

'Are you absolutely certain?' The mortician asked Severus to be absolutely sure of his decision.

Severus nodded. 'Could I see her alone though. There are some things I wish to say to her in private.'

Erwin squeezed his shoulder gently in order to say that he understood. Lily placed a kiss on the side of his head. 'Whenever you're ready, Sev.'

Once they left, the mortician opened the freezer, revealing Eileen's body, covered up by a thin white sheet.

The mortician left too, after she removed the sheet from Eileen's face.

Severus looked at her with a new-found curiosity and was relieved to see that it wasn't her face that had been bashed in. It was as if his mind had a hard time comprehending that it was really his mother lying there, frozen and lifeless, on a bed of stainless steel.

He had seen her dead before after all.

With difficulty he stood up from his wheelchair, feeling the many bruises sting with every movement he made.

'I am alive because of you,' he signed to her, a little awkwardly as his left hand was still plastered up. Even though her eyes were closed, he wanted to speak with her in the language that she knew.

'You were not supposed to die this way.' Tears were starting to well up in his eyes. 'This is not what happened last time and I failed you again.'

Taking deep breaths he tried to contain himself.

'I hope someone is out there for you, like there was for me. If you have another chance, please take it. You deserve it more than I did.'

For a short moment he held on to her hand. It was cold and stiff to the touch and it didn't feel right.

'I too, am afraid to be alone.'

After taking one last look at her, he carefully placed the sheet back over her head, and looked around for any sign of either the mortician or Lily and Erwin.

It was the mortician who caught sight of him first. 'I'll take you back to your family,' she said as she carefully placed Eileen back into the freezer.

'They're not my family,' he said gravely. 'I don't have any family left.'

'Well, whoever they are to you then, they must love you very much.'

She wheeled him back towards the entrance where Lily and Erwin were waiting for him.

'I'll take him,' Lily said to the mortician. 'Thank you.'

'What's going to happen to me?' Severus asked with a hint of fear.

'A lot of things are going to happen Severus,' Erwin said. 'We hope to get you out of here either by tomorrow or the day after. We've sent out an emergency message to Dumbledore explaining the situation and Arnica is currently arranging the funeral.'

Severus hadn't even given a second thought about a funeral. The last time his mother had died, some department of the Ministry of Magic had paid for it. He hadn't attended.

'I want to get out of here,' was all he managed to say.

'We all want to get you out of here as soon as possible, Sev,' Lily said in an attempt to raise his spirits. 'Mum and dad are trying to arrange something special for you.'

Severus looked up at her from his wheelchair. 'What would that be?'

Lily smiled at him. 'Let's sit down here for a bit.'

'Lily, nothing's guaranteed yet,' Erwin said, as they parked Severus in front of some chairs and sat down in front of him.

'Like dad said, this is not a solid guarantee yet,' Lily said to Severus. 'But since we're getting Dumbledore involved, I highly doubt it won't work.'

'What are you talking about?' Severus asked her, getting suspicious.

It was Erwin who did the explanation. 'Because you are a minor, the government gets involved when children have to be placed into foster care. Now, Arnica and I have never been foster parents before and have never gone through any screening processes, but we're trying to get you to move in with us.'

Lily and Erwin were smiling at him in the exact same way. Severus was perplexed at Erwin's statement. 'Do you really mean that?'

'Yes I do, and it didn't take a lot to convince the rest of the family either.'

'But—but you don't have any room for me.'

Lily raised an eyebrow at his statement. 'That's your main concern? I'm bunking up with Tuney for the time being so you can have my room. Problem solved.'

A silent tear fell down to the ground as he lowered his head. Lily took a hold of his right hand and placed the other one on his knee. 'You're not a burden, Sev.'

At that, more tears started to flow. 'Please take me home,' he said in a small voice. 'Please.'

Erwin got up and took a hold of the wheelchair. 'I'm going to take you back to bed Severus. You need your rest.'

Lily did not let go of his hand until they made it back to his room. It wasn't until he crawled back under the blankets that he noticed just how exhausted he was.

'I'm sorry I don't have a dreamless sleep potion for you, Sev,' Lily said as she gently ran her fingers through his hair.

'That would just extend the problem,' he said with a brittle voice.

'I need to go home to arrange a few things with mum and dad. Can you handle being alone until tomorrow morning?'

He didn't want Lily to leave, but deep down he knew that if he were really to move in with the Evanses, things had to be arranged away from the hospital.

'I can handle it.'

His eyelids felt like lead. 'Please come back before I wake up.'

…

After several more check-ups, Severus was released from the hospital the very next day. Painkillers and plenty of rest was the main advice the nurses had given him for his broken wrist and many bruises.

Lily and Erwin had come to pick him up.

'Headmaster Dumbledore is coming over tomorrow for a visit,' Erwin said to him as they brought the wheelchair to the car. 'I don't know how the man managed to do it, but our foster care documents are as good as signed already.'

'So, it's been confirmed that I'm coming to live with you?'

'Yes,' Lily said happily. 'After mum and dad got the approval, Tuney and I immediately went to work to prep my room for you.'

Once they reached the car, Severus was able to stand up without the need of support. 'I'll go bring the wheelchair back,' Lily said, and walked back with it to the hospital.

'Feel free to lay down on the backseat if you wish.'

As lying down was more comfortable than sitting up, Severus didn't hesitate to spread out as far as he could on the backseat.

'You're not saying much,' Erwin said as he sat down in the driver's seat. 'What's going through your mind?'

'I know Lily said that I am not a burden, but I can't help but feel that way,' Severus admitted.

'What is it that makes you feel like you are?'

'Everything really. For dealing with the police and my father and the whole putting-me-into-foster-care thing.'

'Severus, you know that none of that is any trouble to us.'

'And my mother's funeral,' he said quietly. 'That's something I should've done myself.'

'That's something you couldn't have done yourself.'

'She's the only family I had left, it should've been me.'

'What is it you're implying, Severus?'

'It's just—I'm afraid to be alone,' Severus said, his voice growing brittle.

'Look at me,' Erwin said, a little strictly.

Severus pushed some of his hair out of his face and looked up in the eyes he knew so well from Lily.

'When Lily brought you to our home for the first time, I couldn't have been more happy,' Erwin said with a smile. 'My oddball of a daughter had found a friend who was just like her. You were a bit shy and looked a bit neglected, but you were the best kind of friend any parent could wish for their children.'

To hear that coming from Erwin hit him straight in the heart. 'What are you trying to tell me?' Severus asked.

'What I'm trying to say is, that when you came over the first time around, I knew that you would never leave again. You became a part of our family that day, and for as long as you have us, you'll never truly be alone.'

Severus let a tear fall as he continued to look Erwin in the eye.

'You took my daughter by the hand and showed her a world that she belonged in, but did not grow up in. Offering you a place to live is the least I can do after everything you've done for her.'

'Thank you,' was all Severus could say. Lily had just run back up to the car.

'Sorry that took a while. I couldn't find the lady I was supposed to give the wheelchair back to.'

Lily looked over at Severus, and noticed that he was in distress.

'Want me to sit next to you, Sev? You can put your head on my lap if you want.'

He didn't need to answer, as Lily already opened the door and lifted up his head so he could relax on her lap.

'Ready go come home?' She asked him as she ran her fingers through his hair.

'I am.'


	36. Crying Your Heart Out

Lily's room hadn't changed much. Not that he had expected her to do that, as they had only a couple more days left until they would return to Hogwarts. Most of Lily's belongings were still up here, but not his own.

'If you are up for it, Severus,' Erwin said from the doorway, 'we can go to Spinner's End and get your belongings.'

'I'm not sure if I'm ready for that.'

'The sooner we get it done, the sooner you can say goodbye to that place.'

Erwin made a fair point. In his previous life the house at Spinner's End had always belonged to him, but now it never would be again.

'When is Professor Dumbledore coming?'

'Tomorrow evening around eight o'clock.'

'Could we do it tomorrow afternoon then? I just—I just want to sit here for a while.'

'We can do that.'

Lily had climbed up the narrow stairs to her old attic room, carrying two large mugs of steaming hot chocolate.

'I'll leave you two alone,' and Erwin left to join Arnica and Petunia in the living room.

'Here you go,' Lily said she handed him a mug.

'I don't even know when my own mother's funeral is,' Severus said sadly as they sat down on the bed.

'I just heard mum talking about it. It's the day after tomorrow, at the little cemetery up the hill.'

After the emotionally charged past few days, Severus finally felt himself unwind a little.

'Dumbledore is coming to the funeral, too; as is Professor Slughorn.'

The idea that more people who knew his mother were coming made him feel slightly more at ease.

He looked up at Lily and smiled. 'I'm glad there are more people coming than just us.'

'Please drink some of your hot chocolate, Sev, it'll make you feel better.'

He drank some of his hot chocolate, feeling his insides warm up with sweet delight.

'I wish we could make some music,' said Severus. 'Too bad this,' he held up his broken wrist, 'is keeping me from playing.'

'You could ask Dumbledore if he could heal it for you when he comes over tomorrow,' Lily suggested.

'Good idea. I need my dominant hand healed before we go back to school, anyway. I can't brew potions like this.'

'Speaking of dominant hands, is your wand still at Spinner's End?'

Severus let out a sigh. 'He broke them,' he said coldly.

'Them?'

'Both mine and my mother's wand. He snapped them in half.'

Lily looked at him in utter shock. 'Is there no way they can possibly be repaired?'

'I'm afraid not.'

'We could ask mum and dad to take us to Diagon Alley one of these days, to get you a new wand from Ollivander's before we go back to school.'

'Do you think they would want to make the trip to London just for that?'

Lily took a sip of her hot chocolate. 'Oh please, going to Diagon Alley is like walking into a gigantic candy shop for dad. Plus, Tuney's never gone with me before out of resentment, but maybe she turned around a bit and wants to come with this time.'

'I'll ask them myself, but I want to get through the next two days before we plan anything else.'

'That I can understand. Want to listen to some music?'

'How about you play guitar for me?' he said with a grin. 'I'll just lean up against the wall here, sipping on my hot chocolate, while you play me our favourite song.'

'Alright, I can do that.'

It was a strange day. In a way it felt like any other day when he would come to visit Lily. The idea that this place was now his new permanent home hadn't really gotten through to him yet.

They spent most of the afternoon up in what was now his room. Listening to music. Talking. The attic room being their own universe for just a little while.

At dinnertime, Petunia came and sat down next to him. A thing she had always avoided doing as much as she could over the previous years.

'You look like you have something to say,' Severus said to her.

'I do,' she said as she piled some potatoes onto her plate. 'And I think you're going to like it.'

'Do tell.'

'I've been thinking a lot about what you said to me at Christmas, and I've decided to follow your advice.'

'My advice? I don't recall giving you any advice.'

'Well,' the rest of the family was looking at Petunia as if she was about to say something important, and she turned a little red in the face. 'About my art, you know, my own magic. I have decided to sign up for art school at Oxford. Hopefully I can start after summer.'

Arnica put her fork down and looked at her daughter in surprise. 'Petunia, you haven't told us about any of this yet. That is great news!'

'I kind of wanted it to be a surprise,' she said shyly.

'Tuney, that is great!' Lily said in excitement.

'I was hoping you'd come around,' Erwin said with pride.

'What does Vernon think of this?' Severus asked a little more seriously.

'I haven't told him yet. He'll just have to learn to live with it,' she said matter-of-factly. 'I don't care if I make a lot of money with my art or not. It makes me happy and that's what matters.'

'Good for you, Petunia,' Severus said to her with a smile. 'Next time I'll introduce you to a unicorn and see what happens then.'

The rest of the evening was calm and quiet. Severus was looking forward to seeing Dumbledore tomorrow. He had been offered counseling by the muggle police, but the only man he knew who could put his mind at ease in stressful situations was Dumbledore.

He excused himself to go up to his new room after their evening tea, feeling the need to be alone for a while. He sat down on the bed for a while, staring at the poster covered wall.

His mind wondered off and started spinning in circles, replaying all of the things that had happened, over and over in his head.

Every fight he's ever had with his father. Every argument he's ever had with his mother. The screaming. The pain. The deaths.

He let his face rest in the palms of his hands, wanting it to go away. For years, he had all those feelings tucked away into some darker part of himself, and now everything was starting to pour out of him.

Chills ran down his spine, but they didn't feel the same as when he got a panic attack. It was an even colder chill and it froze him up on the inside, as if a dementor had started to grow inside of him.

He laid down, but wrapping himself up in the blankets of the bed didn't seem to help one bit. Surrounding himself in the darkness of the blanket, he kept wishing over and over to fall asleep, but his mind would not allow it, as if it tried to torture itself into a state of insanity.

Somewhere in the distance, he could hear the family preparing themselves for bed. Doors being opened and closed. Water taps being used. The creaking of the staircase. He tried to cover up his ears in a feeble attempt to shield himself from all the sounds.

For a moment, he was envious of his mother's deafness. Living a life in ultimate silence. No harsh sounds of shattering glass. No squeaking tires of cars that would race down the street. No noises from the factory that blocked out most of the sun from their house at Spinner's End. But perhaps, only being able to see was worse.

He pulled the blanket off his head out of frustration and found himself surrounded in darkness. The lights had been switched off. The family had gone to bed.

He had spent several nights up here before in the past, sleeping on a mattress on the floor, right here in Lily's room. They would stay up all night, or at least try to, and he would tell her stories about the magical world. He even brought along his mother's old books to show her everything there was to know.

No doubt she was now using the same mattress to sleep in Petunia's room. The idea that he was now lying down in her bed didn't feel quite right.

A part of him wanted to go downstairs and wake Lily, just so he could talk to her again the way they used to when they were little. But he knew too that there was a reason Lily was staying with Petunia instead of here. They had grown too old and having sleepovers was now out of the question.

His eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room and he looked around to see the monochrome coloured mess that was so typically Lily.

He heard a very soft thud in the distance, which at first he thought was the beating of his own heart, until the sound grew louder with each beat.

The door creaked, revealing Lily in her silk pajamas, and her curly hair messier than ever.

'Hi Sev,' she said softly, 'I figured you'd be awake.'

Without waiting for Severus to respond, she walked up to him, laid down on the bed, and tossed the blanket over both of them.

'Tuney won't say a word, she promised.'

Lily wrapped her arms around him and rested her face against his chest. Severus pulled her closer and held her tightly against him, his face buried in her hair.

A lump in his throat had started to grow and his body started to shake as he felt a wave of pain wash over him.

'She's dead because of me,' he said in a hoarse voice, tears falling into her hair.

Lily tangled her legs up between his. 'It's not your fault, Sev.'

'It is. It should've been me.'

She looked up at him with tears forming in her eyes. 'Please don't say that about yourself.'

With his good hand he ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her in as close as possible. 'He never wanted me,' he said in an almost inaudible voice.

'But I want you,' Lily said, as she planted a kiss on his forehead. 'That ought to be enough.'

For the first time since Severus was a little child, all the tension that had built up in his body released and he cried his heart out.


	37. Closing the Door on Spinner's End

Severus, along with the rest of the family, were standing in front of his old house on Spinner's End.

Erwin had brought along the car to load in the things that Severus wanted to bring home with him.

'Are you ready, Sev?' Lily asked as she stood beside him by the front door.

'I don't have much of a choice, do I?'

He took the key out of his pocket and swung the door open. It was surprising how easily things could get dusty and cold in a matter of days. It had always been a somber home, but at least his mother's presence had been a little ray of light.

Petunia rolled up her sleeves. 'What about all the books, Severus?' She said as she pointed at the bookshelves in the living room.

There was only one bookshelf in the living room, as opposed to the many bookshelves he had when the house had been his. Most of the books were related to magic and all had belonged to his mother.

'I'd like to take those with me. Maybe I can donate a few to the Hogwarts library.'

'Then I'll get to work and put them in boxes,' Petunia said determinedly, as she started pulling out books from the top shelf.

'Arnica and I will go upstairs and see what we can find,' said Erwin, and together they disappeared up the staircase, garbage bags in hand.

Severus and Lily made their way into the kitchen. The bloodstains were still covering the floor and the kitchen cabinets. Lily looked away at the sight of it, but Severus couldn't help but stare.

In the corner, he caught sight of the wand pieces Tobias had broken.

'Lily,' he said softy, 'it's easier to face something than it is to look away.'

Lily opened up her eyes, seeing Severus sitting down in one of the kitchen chairs with the broken wand pieces in his hands.

'The mind tends to make things worse if it cannot see the reality.'

She sat down beside him, looking at the broken wand pieces in his hands. 'I think I understand what you mean.'

'I don't care much for things,' he said, 'but I want to keep these as a reminder how easy it is to break something that you care about.'

Lily looked around her as if she was seeing the bloodstains in a different light. 'I'll go clean up this mess. Maybe you should go upstairs and see if there's anything else from your mother that you want to bring home with you.'

'Good idea.' He put the pieces of his broken wand in his pocket then headed upstairs.

'Look at all these clothes,' he heard Arnica mumble to herself from his parent's bedroom.

'Hello,' Severus said as he opened the door. The entire content of his parent's closet was dumped onto the bed.

'Is there anything of your mother's that you would like to keep Severus?' Arnica asked him. 'I found her wedding dress.'

Severus looked at it as it was spread out on the bed. It was just a simple elegant white dress, the way his mother would've like it. Nothing fancy.

'To be fair,' he said, 'I don't think I'll ever see myself wearing it.'

That made Arnica laugh. 'You think Lily or Petunia would like it? It could pass for a nice summer dress.'

'I don't don't think Petunia fits in it, as it's too small for her,' he raised an eyebrow as he looked at Arnica, 'and I think I can count on one hand the amount of times I've ever seen Lily wear a dress.'

'You make a good argument there Severus. I'll put it on a pile of other clothes to donate. Maybe someone else can be happy with it.'

Arnica folded it up and added it onto a pile of clothes that she had already sorted. 'Are you absolutely sure you don't want any of this?'

He let his eyes skim over all the clothes that had belonged to his parents. 'No,' he said, 'I'll just take the photo albums and leave it to that.'

Arnica nodded in understanding. 'Erwin's in the bathroom. Maybe there's something there that you'd like to keep.'

Erwin was busy tossing old shampoo bottles and toothbrushes into a garbage bag. 'Take a good look around before I toss everything out,' Erwin warned him.

Severus opened up the medicine cabinet. Old bottles of aspirin and dusty cotton swabs were nothing to get excited about. A round tin box however, caught his attention.

As he opened it, a flowery scent traveled into his nose, and he couldn't help but grin.

'Look what I found Erwin,' he said as he held up the tin box to him.

'What is it?' Erwin said as he looked at it.

'Just smell it.'

Erwin sniffed at it. 'It smells good. What does it do?'

'It's an improved version of a healing salve that my mum made. The flowery scent is arnica, and it helps to make bruises fade.'

'So this is what my wife was named after,' Erwin said happily, and handed it back to Severus. 'What are you waiting for, go put some on your eye.'

Severus looked at himself in the toothpaste spotted mirror. His skin was as sallow as he remembered from when he was an adult. The bruise around his eye had gone from purple to yellow. It didn't hurt as much anymore as it did when he was still in hospital, but to be able to soothe it with his mother's salve was a little blessing.

'Anything else you'd like to keep?' Erwin asked.

Severus put the tin box in his pocket and shook his head. 'I'll go clean out my own room.'

Once he stepped inside his room, he opened up his trunk and shoved everything from his desk into it.

In two trips down the stairs, he had his bass, amp, and a trunk filled to the brim waiting by the door to be taken home.

'Severus,' it was Petunia who called him, 'could you come over here for a sec.'

Petunia handed him over a photo album. 'I found a few of those on the shelves. I figured you may want to see this.'

On the inside, there were muggle photos of mostly him and his mother. Somewhere in the middle of the album, he found the same picture that Lily had up in her room. The same picture he had torn up in pieces so long ago.

'Thank you for finding this Petunia.'

'Want me to put it with the rest of the books? I'm going to make a trip back home with it since the car is already loaded.'

'You can drive?' He asked her in surprise.

'Uhm yes, I got my license last year. Dad gave me the keys.'

'Thank you,' he said again. 'I'm going to see what Lily is up to.'

In the kitchen, Lily had managed to scrub off nearly all the bloodstains from the floor and cabinets. 'Wish I could use magic,' she said irritably.

'Maybe it's not so bad to do it by hand,' Severus said to her. 'Waving a wand around all the time tends to make us magic folk lazy.'

Lily looked at him in a way that would've made Professor McGonnagall proud. 'Here's a sponge,' she said as she dunked another sponge into a bucket of soapy water, 'and here's a whole area where you can start scrubbing,' she said as she pointed at a bloodstain on the ground.

'I should've known,' Severus said in defeat.

He sat down cross-legged on the floor and started scrubbing. As gruesome as the stains were, in an odd twisted sort of way it was relaxing to see them disappear. It felt cleansing, to see the scene of the crime dissolve and turn back into the kitchen it once was.

Petunia came back a moment later with an empty car. 'Is there anything else that I need to bring home with me?' She asked as she stood in kitchen doorway.

'Arnica has some bags filled with clothes that are going to be donated,' Severus said, 'and my trunk, bass, and amp. Everything else is staying behind.'

Some moments later, the upper floor had been cleared. Bags full of rubbish had been tossed away and the bags of clothes, along with Severus's other belongings, were stored in the car.

All of the furniture was going to stay behind. The house was a rental, so either the homeowners would put it up for sale or the people that were going to move in here could take it over and use it.

Either way, Severus no longer wanted nor needed to worry about it.

There was no more room left in the car for five people, so Lily and Severus offered to walk back home.

Severus held the door for Lily as she stepped outside. He took one last look around and closed the door behind him for good.

'Will you miss it?' Lily asked him as they walked back home.

'A little bit,' he admitted. 'There's more bad than good that I associate with that place, but It's been my home for a very long time.'

'I'm proud of you, Sev,' Lily said to him with a smile.

'Why would you be proud of me?'

'Because for the first time since I've met you, you've finally started to open up a bit.'

Once they got home, Severus went to work on sorting through his belongings. It was remarkable just how many things a person could own, once you started putting it in boxes.

It took a long time to sort through all the books and photo albums. He kept the albums and a few books for himself. The rest was to be donated to the Hogwarts library.

Arnica promised that she would take care of all the clothes they had collected. With Lily he sorted everything out in his trunk. Now that his clothes were hanging in a closet and his bass was standing beside Lily's guitar, the attic room started to feel a little bit more like his own place.

After dinner, they all sat on the couch, awaiting Dumbledore's arrival.

'How exactly is Professor Dumbledore arriving?' Petunia asked.

That was a good question, Severus thought to himself. 'He'll hopefully apparate from Hogwarts up to the front door and ring like any decent wizard should do.'

'I thought you couldn't apparate and disapparate from Hogwarts?' Lily asked.

Severus raised his shoulders. 'It's Dumbledore. I'm quite sure the old man can do whatever he wants.'

Suddenly Petunia let out a shriek. The flames in the fireplace combusted and rose up high, revealing the bespectacled face of Albus Dumbledore.

'Good evening,' he said with his familiar kind voice. 'Would it be alright with all of you if I stepped through the flames?'


	38. Dumbledore in Cokeworth

Lily had stood up from the couch and offered Dumbledore a hand. He gracefully set foot inside the living room from the fireplace, as if it was the most normal thing to do.

'I do hope my arrival hasn't come as too much of a surprise,' Dumbledore said as he wiped some ashes off his robes.

Erwin, Arnica, and Petunia were all flabbergasted by Dumbledore's spectacular arrival.

Severus was the first one to stand up. 'It's good to see you, Headmaster,' Severus said as they shook hands.

'It's good to see you too, Mister Snape,' the usual twinkle in the old man's eyes faded as he looked at Severus's bruised face.

'Where are my manners,' Erwin said, now over the shock of seeing the headmaster pop out of the fire. 'Erwin Evans, pleased to meet you.'

Arnica introduced herself shortly after. 'Arnica Evans, It's a pleasure to finally meet the man my daughter has told us to much about.'

Petunia however, remained seated on the couch, staring intently at the impressive figure that had appeared in the living room.

Dumbledore caught sight of her and smiled, 'You must be Petunia.'

Petunia got red in the face and all she could do was nod.

'I'll go make us some tea,' said Lily, 'please take a seat Headmaster.'

Lily busied herself in the kitchen as everybody sat back down. Dumbledore sat beside Petunia, who was having difficulty looking him in the eye.

'I remember the letter you wrote me a few years back,' he said to her. 'That you wanted to come to Hogwarts too, just like your sister.'

'I remember that too,' Petunia said softly, embarrassed by the memory.

'I'm sorry that there was nothing that I could do for you, Petunia,' Dumbledore said sincerely.

'It's alright, really,' Petunia said with a little more confidence. 'I found my own magic, thanks to Severus.'

All four people on the couch looked over at Severus. 'What,' he shrugged, 'she does have a talent for art.'

'Is that a painting you made?' Dumbledore asked Petunia as he pointed at a still life above the fireplace.

'I did,' Petunia said proudly.

Dumbledore smiled. 'Then you certainly have a considerable amount of magic, Petunia.'

Lily returned carrying a teapot and six mugs and poured everyone tea.

'Headmaster,' Erwin said as he cradled his tea in his hands, 'I can't help but wonder how you managed to get all foster care documents signed over to us so quickly.'

'Please, call me Albus,' he said, 'and to answer your question, it helps to have a lot of connections with the Ministry for Magic and that's as much as I can tell.'

Dumbledore looked over at Severus and their eyes met in a flash of understanding. 'After we finish our tea, I think it would be wise if you and I went out for a little stroll in private.'

Severus nodded in agreement. 'I think that would be a good idea.'

'Will Severus be able to receive any counseling at Hogwarts?' Arnica asked. 'He told the police department that he wanted to arrange his own help.'

'Certainly,' Dumbledore said reassuringly. 'He'll be able to receive to best kind of counseling for as long as he's attending Hogwarts.'

Severus knew what that type of counseling meant. It meant more frequent visits up in Dumbledore's office to chat while sharing a supply of sweets.

Severus and Dumbledore drained their tea and prepared themselves to go outside.

'Good luck,' Lily said to them as she closed the door.

It was dark and the wind was still. Soft snow was gently falling from the sky, covering everything in a white blanket.

'Is there any particular place you'd like to walk to Mister Snape?'

'Anywhere but Spinner's End,' he said, then started walking in no particular direction.

They walked in silence for a while, the only sound coming from the crisp snow under their feet. After passing several houses, a gate that led to a playground showed up around the corner, and Severus stopped to take a look at it.

'Judging by the way you are looking at the playground,' Dumbledore said, 'this place must be of some significance to you.'

'It is,' he answered. 'Do you mind?'

'Not at all.'

They entered the playground and Severus headed for the swings. He sat down on one of them, wrapping his uninjured hand around the cold metal chain.

Dumbledore sat down in the swing beside him, looking around in amusement.

'I'm rather curious. What is it that makes this place so special to you?'

Severus let out a sigh. 'This is where I met Lily for the first time, all those years ago.'

He looked over his shoulder at what was now a cluster of overgrown bushes. 'I was hiding right there, because I had just ran away from home, and then I saw her and her sister come up here. I knew there was something special about her right away.'

'How could you tell?'

'She made a blossom bloom over and over again in the palm of her hand.'

Severus couldn't help but smile a little at the recall of the memory. 'I told her she was a witch after I saw what she did. She didn't believe me, of course. Thought I had called her something nasty and ran away.'

Dumbledore chuckled. 'And then she came back.'

'She did. She wanted to know all about magic; so I told her everything.'

'I must say, it is very peaceful out here.'

'Mister Snape—'

'—Please just call me Severus. You may not know it but you called me that for years.'

'As you wish, Severus. What happened to you mother; did the same thing happen to her in your previous life?'

'No,' he said while looking down at the ground. 'The last time she died by her own hands.'

'I'm afraid this changes everything Severus.'

Severus looked over at Dumbledore, who was gently pushing himself back and forth on the tips of his toes.

'What do you mean, changes everything?'

'Forgive my bluntness Severus, but the murder of your mother is not something that has gone unnoticed in either the muggle world, or ours.'

'What is so remarkable about the situation?'

'What's so remarkable is the fact that a muggle is being held accountable for the murder of a witch. A pure blood witch, I might add.'

Severus took a moment to think about why it was so remarkable, but then it started to dawn on him. 'Everyone in our world will know about it, won't they?'

Dumbledore nodded. 'This is yet another happening that might push people over the brink to join Voldemort's cause,' he said sadly. 'And everyone will know, Severus, that you are the son of the muggle who did it.'

'Are you saying that I might be in danger?'

'I'm afraid so.'

Severus let his head rest against the metal chain. 'I'm not afraid of people knowing that I am a half-blood, but what I do fear is—.' He closed his eyes, looking for the right words to say. '—I fear that this war will not be what I have always known it to be.'

'What I fear most at this moment for you,' Dumbledore said, 'is that this war may come sooner than you remember it and every detail and every lead you have ever known will crumble and mingle.'

'You are right to fear that Headmaster, but I don't think the Dark Lord's motives will have changed.'

'Tell me, Severus, what is it that you do know about Lord Voldemort?' Dumbledore asked curiously.

'He wants power,' Severus listed off. 'He's cunning to the bone. His birth name is Tom Riddle and he killed his own muggle father.' Severus put a lot of emphasis on the latter. 'And he—'

'—Hold on,' Dumbledore stopped him. 'Why is the murder of his father of such importance to you?'

Severus felt his blood rise. 'Because I did the exact same thing,' he spat out. 'In my previous life I held my father accountable for everything that was wrong in my life. He was the very reason that I grew disgusted with my own blood. After mum died…I killed him.'

The anger he felt started to rattle the chain of the swing. 'And I would do it again if I had the chance.'

Dumbledore looked sadly at Severus's rising temper. 'Problems cannot be solved by taking another man's life, Severus.'

'I know that,' he gritted through his teeth. 'I am well aware that death does not solve a single thing!'

A lump had started to form in his throat. 'I killed him because he was everything I never wanted to be.' He let his head hang down low, burying his face in his hands. 'And I became him by doing so.'

Dumbledore stood up from the swing and knelt in front of Severus, putting his hands on his shoulders.

'I was just like my father, Albus,' Severus said through dry sobs. 'Bitter and resentful and prejudiced. And I hated myself more than anything else.'

'Look at me, Severus,' Dumbledore said kindly but inarguably.

Severus looked up at the old man's piercing blue eyes. His vision blurry from the tears.

'You are not your father.'

'I look just like him,' he said as the tears started to fall.

'You are not your father.'

'I am just like him.'

'You are not your father, Severus,' Dumbledore said more forcefully. With his thumb he gently wiped away a tear off Severus's face. 'I can only imagine how brave you must have been.'

'Can we go back home, please?'

'We can do that.'

They both stood up and made their way towards the gate. 'I think it is time you and I met up a little more frequently when you come back to Hogwarts.'

Severus wiped away the last remaining tears off his face. 'I think that would be wise.'

They walked their way back in the same silence as they came.

'I have something for you,' Severus said as he opened the door with the key Erwin had given him at Christmas.

Boxes filled with books that had belonged to his mother were piled up against the wall of the hallway. 'All of these can go to the Hogwarts library as a donation.'

Dumbledore looked delighted at the boxes filled with books. 'I'm sure Madam Pince would love receiving those. Do you mind if I send them to Hogwarts right away?'

'Go ahead. They're only standing in the way here.'

With a wave of his wand Dumbledore vanished the boxes. 'And, as a thank you, would you like me to heal that hand of yours?'

'I nearly forgot about that,' Severus said as he held up his injured hand. 'But yes, I would like to get rid of these bandages.'

A warm glow passed through his hand as Dumbledore held the tip of his wand against it, relieving the stiff pain, and vanishing the bandages that were wrapped around it.

'Much better,' Severus said as he bent his fingers. 'Thank you.'

The family was still awake. They all looked up when Severus and Dumbledore entered the room.

'How did it go?' Lily asked.

'Very well, if I may say so myself,' Dumbledore said. 'I am sorry that I must cut this visit short, as I have a school to tend to.'

He pulled a small pouch out of his pocket, and threw some floo powder into the fireplace, turning the flames green.

'I shall be back tomorrow with Professor Slughorn for the funeral.'

'Thank you Albus,' Erwin and Arnica said. 'Until tomorrow.'

'Until then.' Dumbledore said as he stepped into the flames, spun around, and disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N In the British version of the book it's called the Ministry for Magic, in the American version the Ministry of Magic.


	39. The Funeral on Top of Cokeworth's Hil

It was Arnica who had arranged the funeral. Around noon, the family had gathered on the hill that was Cokeworth's graveyard.

The sun was shining bright in the cloudless sky, but the cold wind was chilling them to the bones.

In the distance, two people popped up out of nowhere, and from their distinct outlines Severus could tell they were Professors Slughorn and Dumbledore.

The funeral that was held was quiet and simple. Severus hadn't thought about writing a speech. Not that it mattered much to him, as he already shared his goodbye with her at the hospital.

He had cried so many tears over the past few days that he was no longer able to. As the coffin was being lowered into the ground, a feeling of serenity, rather than pain, washed over him.

She was gone, just like she had been gone before, only this time he had the chance to tell her that he loved her. This time he had the chance to say farewell.

As the earth was being moved over her coffin, the gathering made their way back home in silence.

Slughorn was looking a little forlorn. 'It's good to see you found a place to live so soon after…all this,' he said to Severus as Arnica served everybody tea.

'It is,' Severus replied, grateful for the heat from the mug that warmed his hands. 'It feels good to have a home.'

Outside, Erwin and Dumbledore were sharing a private conversation. Having a deaf mother had taught him a thing or two, and lip reading, though with difficulty, was still something he could do if he focused hard enough.

They were talking about him, of course, but the conversation also turned to a discussion related to the war. As glad as Severus was that Erwin was a man who understood warfare, for him to get involved in a wizarding war, one way or another, wasn't something Severus highly anticipated.

'Is there anything I can do for you once you come back to Hogwarts?' Slughorn asked.

Severus snapped out of his concentration and shook his head. 'I don't think there is, sir. This is something that I need to process by myself.'

'I could arrange something to lay you off from having to do homework for a while, if you'd like.'

'I appreciate that,' Severus said sincerely, 'but to be fair I consider homework to be a welcoming distraction considering the situation. So, I'd rather just go back to school and do what everybody else is doing.'

Slughorn smiled a little. 'That, I can understand.'

'How has life been for you, since your wife passed away?' Severus wasn't quite sure why he even asked, but the funeral must have invoked some stillness in the man who was always known to be jolly.

'Quiet, mostly,' Slughorn said with a sigh. 'Living at Hogwarts helps to deal with the silence though. I'm surrounded by wonderful friends who are helping me through it.' Slughorn was looking at Dumbledore through the window as he said it.

'And it is good to see you have friends to help you through this, too,' he said, smiling up at Lily. 'My wife was a Gryffindor girl too, you know.'

'Really?' Lily asked with interest.

Oh yes, her and I were always brewing potions together when we were attending Hogwarts,' he said happily. 'Bickering over whatever ingredients we had to use, just like the two of you always do.'

Lily's face flushed. 'Do Sev and I really bicker all the time?'

'We do,' Severus answered dryly. 'But usually I'm the one that's right in the end.'

Lily shot him a sour look. 'Are you trying to imply something, Severus?'

'That I am much older and wiser than you,' he said teasingly while sipping his tea.

Lily's eyes grew wider. 'You are older…by three whole weeks.'

'Exactly,' Severus said with a grin.

Lily put her hands on her hips. 'I would continue to argue with you if there wasn't some truth to your blabbering,' she said.

'What truth would that be?' Severus asked in surprise.

'You've been doing ridiculously well lately with potion brewing,' she said with an annoyed tone. 'It's as if ever since you've met up with Mister Belby, you've been channeling his spirit or something.'

Her statement made both Slughorn and Severus laugh.

'I'm sure he got his talent from his mother,' Slughorn said. 'She was such a wonderful student.'

Arnica and Petunia, who had busied themselves in the kitchen, joined them with a platter full of sandwiches.

'What are Erwin and Headmaster Dumbledore doing outside?' Arnica asked everyone who was sitting on the couch.

'They're probably talking about me,' Severus answered. 'Dumbledore himself is going to be my counsellor.'

'I'm glad to hear that, Severus,' Arnica said with a sense of relief. 'He looks like a trustworthy man.'

'He is,' Severus said as he grabbed a sandwich.

A silence fell when everybody started to eat their sandwiches. Through the window, Severus could see Erwin and Dumbledore shaking hands about something. Whatever it was that both men had agreed on, Severus would want to question Erwin about it as soon as possible.

Both men came back inside and were immediately given a mug of tea by Arnica against the cold.

As they sat down Dumbledore helped himself to a sandwich. 'Horace,' Dumbledore said, 'would it be alright with you if we went back to Hogwarts after we finish these delicious sandwiches?'

'Is there something that we need to discuss, Albus?' Slughorn asked as he just helped himself to a third slice.

'I am afraid so,' Dumbledore said gravely.

Severus looked intently at Dumbledore. Perhaps in the hope to get some sort of an answer as to what was so important that needed to be discussed right away, but no answer came.

'Would it be of any trouble for Horace and I to use your fireplace once more?' Dumbledore asked Erwin after they finished their sandwiches. 'I would like to be back in my office right away to discuss a few things.'

'No trouble at all, Albus. Does the fireplace need to be lit?'

'Do not worry about that,' Dumbledore said as he aimed his wand at the fireplace, and lit it with a single spark.

'Severus,' Horace said as he stood up from the couch. 'I'm very glad that you found a good place to live.' He then turned to Lily. 'Miss Evans,' he said as he shook hands with her, 'I'll be looking forward to seeing both you in class again.'

After going through the formality of sharing their goodbyes, Dumbledore and Slughorn stepped through the flames and disappeared.

Severus immediately turned to Erwin. 'Care to tell me what is it you and Dumbledore were discussing outside?' He asked, a little more rudely than he intended.

'We were talking about your counseling—'

'—Don't lie to me, Erwin,' Severus cut him off. 'Having a deaf mother has taught me a thing or two and that includes lip reading.'

Erwin fell silent at Severus's statement. Severus knew Erwin couldn't answer his question in front of the rest of the family, as the war was better left unmentioned in front of Arnica and Petunia, but Erwin's answer surprised them all.

'We spoke of your father's trial. It'll be held in London on the day before you and Lily go back to school.'

'When was this confirmed?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Severus, are you sure you want to discuss this right now?' Erwin said with concern. 'We just buried your mother.'

'I do,' he answered sharply. 'I need to know what Dumbledore's got to do with this.'

Erwin let out a sigh in defeat. 'There will be wizards represented in the jury, Severus and…and he spoke of what you and him have talked about last night.'

Erwin was being vague on purpose. That much was obvious.

'I'm sorry Severus, but that is as much as I can say for now.'

'What deal did you make with him?' Severus said coldly. 'I need to know.'

'Can we discuss this somewhere else, Severus?' Erwin said while raising his voice.

Without another word Severus stood up and headed towards his room. He had nearly opened the door when he heard Erwin following him from downstairs, no doubt a little pissed off at Severus's persistence.

'Severus,' Erwin said sternly as he closed the door behind him. 'There are some things that I cannot discuss in front of my family.'

'I am aware,' Severus said as he sat down on the bed. 'But there is something that I must warn you about.'

Erwin allowed himself to relax a little and sat down on the bed beside him. 'What is it that you need to warn me about, Severus?'

'That whatever deal it is that you have made with Dumbledore, understand that it is more binding than the usual signature on a piece of paper.'

'What do you mean by that?'

'That what you just did is pretty similar to an Unbreakable Vow—'

'—What's an unbreakable vow?'

'—never mind that. What I am trying to say is that in my world, if you make a deal with someone, you truly make a deal with someone. There is no room for breaking promises.'

'Would you like to know what Dumbledore and I agreed on?'

'Please tell me, because I've got a bad feeling about this.'

'Dumbledore promised to protect my family if the war is coming too close to our doorstep.'

Severus thoroughly observed the man next to him. He was half tempted to perform legilimency on him, only to remember that it would be rude, and also impossible without a wand.

'What did you offer Dumbledore in return?' Severus asked, fearing the worst.

'I offered him my help.'

Severus closed his eyes, frustrated with the fact that his suspicion had been confirmed.

'Why?' Severus said softly. 'Why would you do that?'

Erwin looked around, as if he was making sure that absolutely no one was listening to their conversation.

'Since we already share quite a few secrets, Severus,' Erwin said with a lowered voice. 'Do you think you can keep another one?'

'I can do that.'

'I miss the war, Severus,' Erwin said with a hint of shame. 'I miss the action. I miss the feeling of not knowing whether I am going to live or die.'

'And what makes you think that bullets could possibly stop a wizard?' Severus said angrily.

'I never said I was going to pick up a gun again,' said Erwin. 'I'm going to help Albus in the Order. He told me their location and I'm going to help out whenever it is needed.'

Severus was horrorstruck. 'Erwin you—'

'—I understand your concern, Severus,' Erwin said as he cut him off. 'But I am retired, and rather bored I might add, and my daughters are close to being grown women. At least grant me the satisfaction of wanting to do the right thing before I die.'

Severus knew there was no way to talk Erwin out of this. A part of him even understood quite well why Erwin wanted to participate. To protect his family. To protect and serve was all Erwin has ever known. It was all Severus had ever known, too.

'Can Lily know?' Severus asked carefully. 'Because she is bound to find out one way or another.'

'She can know,' Erwin said. 'I know she wants to join. I'm more concerned with my wife not finding out until both of you are old enough to join the Order as well. I will tell Arnica when the time is right,' Erwin said determinedly. 'But for now, please, let's not talk about this any further.'

Severus nodded in agreement. 'Care to go back downstairs?'

'One more thing before we do,' Erwin said as he patted Severus gently on the back. 'You birthday is the day after tomorrow. Would you like to go to London so we can get you a new wand?'

'I would like that very much.'


	40. A Trip to Diagon Alley I

Two days after the funeral, a snowy owl had flung itself against the window of Severus's bedroom, causing him to jolt straight up in bed.

The owl bore a message from Damocles containing a recipe, including footnotes for potential ingredients that looked rather similar to what he remembered from his previous life. It probably wasn't perfect, but it formed an excellent base to work on.

The owl wouldn't leave until it got a note back, so Severus wrote a quick response that he could start working on it as soon as he went back to Hogwarts.

Today was his birthday, and if it wasn't for him getting a new wand today, the recipe might have been the best gift he had received so far.

No longer being able to sleep, he showered, got dressed, and made his way to the kitchen. As he opened the fridge, he noticed a large box with a chocolate cake in it. He got the feeling that it might be for him. So he closed the fridge and pretended not to have seen it. He turned on the coffeepot so it could brew and sat down on the couch.

Judging by the soft thuds on the staircase, Lily must've woken up too.

'I knew you were awake!' Lily said happily as she came into the room. She jumped onto the couch beside him and gave him a hug. 'Happy birthday, Sev!'

'Thank you Lily,' he said as he returned her hug, happy to bury his face in her hair.

'This is the first time since we started at Hogwarts that we're actually together for your birthday,' Lily said with a smile.

'You know I never cared much for celebrating my birthday though,' Severus said a little reluctantly.

'Oh I know that, Sev,' Lily groaned. 'Just like you never want a gift that you can't either use or eat.'

By the time the coffee was ready, the whole family had gathered around the table for breakfast.

'Severus,' Petunia said as she made her way to the fridge, 'because we know how much you love chocolate, we got you a chocolate cake for your birthday.'

Petunia had put sixteen candles on the cake, lit them up with a match and served it in front of Severus.

'Thank you, Petunia,' he said sincerely. 'I don't recall ever getting a cake for my birthday.'

'You better make a wish when you blow out the candles,' Lily said, looking hungrily at the cake in front of Severus.

'Is that what I'm supposed to do?'

Lily's mouth fell open. 'Are you actually telling me that you didn't know you're supposed to blow out the candles?'

'Like I said, I don't recall ever getting a birthday cake,' he said with a hint of embarrassment. 'But if I'm supposed to make a wish, then I wish to find the finest new wand at Ollivander's today.'

Severus was about to blow out the candles when Lily let out a stifled groan. 'You're not supposed to say your wish out loud, silly. Now it won't come true!'

Severus looked up at Lily. 'Have it your way,' he said teasingly. He made a wish inside his head and blew out the candles. 'There, done.'

'You didn't wish for the same thing did you?'

'No, I did not.'

As Severus had expected, Lily's eyes started shimmering. 'Are you going to tell me what you wished for?'

'I thought I wasn't supposed to tell.'

'Now you're making me curious,' Lily said.

'I know I'm making you curious,' Severus responded mockingly. 'And I'm not going to tell you.'

'While the two of you keep bickering,' Erwin said, 'I'm going to help myself to a slice. It's not every day you get to eat chocolate cake for breakfast.'

Without warning Erwin grabbed the cake from Severus's hands and started cutting it up in equal slices.

'Will you tell me in private?' Lily said, making her eyes big.

'No, I was not supposed to say a thing, so I won't,' Severus said as he took the slice of cake Erwin handed him.

Lily didn't ask again after she started eating her slice of cake, but Severus knew she was going to keep trying to get it out of him at all costs.

'Petunia,' Severus said. 'Are you coming with us to Diagon Alley today?'

'I thought about it,' Petunia said as she put her fork down. 'And yes, I would like to see it this time.'

Lily looked up at her sister in surprise. 'Do you really mean that?' She asked happily.

'I do. I mean, I may not be able to be a part of all of it, but perhaps I could do with inspiration for some new sketches.'

Lily looked as if she would cry. 'I'm so glad you want to come with, Tuney. That really means a lot.'

'And I'm staying behind,' said Arnica. 'Not that I don't want to go, but the trip to London is just a tad too far for five people to squeeze into the car.'

Erwin was looking dreamily ahead. 'Any idea if that ice cream parlour is open in the winter, Severus?'

'I have absolutely no idea,' he answered. 'But I believe all the shops remain open throughout the year, so I suppose the ice cream parlour must be too.'

'Splendid, and we should also go to the music shop and Scribbulus and that book shop and—'

'—you're ranting dad,' Lily interrupted him. 'We'll go to all of those places but we should get Sev's new wand first.'

'And that too.'

After they all finished up their cake, they prepared to leave to head to London.

Arnica kept waving until they turned around the corner of the street.

'Brought your galleons?' Lily asked Severus. Severus was sitting in the passenger seat up front.

'I did,' he said while shaking the bag of money underneath his cloak. 'Do you still have some?'

'I got a few,' Erwin replied. 'Not much, but it should be enough to get us something nice if we want to.'

'It is a different kind of money isn't it?' Petunia asked curiously.

'Here,' Erwin said as he pulled a pouch from his pocket. 'Take a look.'

'Interesting,' Petunia said as she held them in the light. 'Why use a different type of money though?'

'Because money is government property,' Severus stated. 'And since the wizarding world has its own government, we also have our own money.'

'That makes sense,' Petunia said as she handed the coins back to Erwin. 'Where exactly is this Diagonally?'

'Diagon Alley you mean?' Severus said with a grin. 'It's in the center of London, so I'm guessing we're parking somewhere on the west side of London and taking the tube from there.'

'That's what we usually do when we go,' Lily said. 'And remind me, we should go and look at potion supplies while we're at it.'

With a pang Severus realised he hadn't told her about Damocles's letter yet. 'Lily, I almost forgot to tell you. I got a letter from Damocles this morning. It had a recipe that could potentially work for the potion against lycanthropy we're trying to create.'

'That's brilliant, Sev! Is there anything we need to get?'

'Nothing that we don't have at Hogwarts, but I'm excited to start brewing and test the results.'

'How exactly are you going to test the results?'

'Let's just say there's a werewolf who—'

'—Woah woah hold on,' Erwin interrupted. 'What kind of potion exactly are you brewing?'

'I'm working together with a potioneer on something potentially groundbreaking,' Severus said casually. 'It's supposed to help people who suffer from lycanthropy—'

'—What's lycanthropy?'

'It's a disease that'll turn you into a werewolf every full moon if you've been infected by another werewolf. We're trying to find a way for them to keep their human mind once they transform so they are harmless to their environment.'

'So werewolves really do exist?' Erwin said, looking perplexed.

'They sure do, just like vampires, centaurs, and the monster of Loch Ness. Although, Nessy is technically a Kelpie.'

'So you know someone who is an actual werewolf?' Petunia asked in amazement.

'Yes, I am personally acquainted with someone who is a werewolf.'

'Who would that be?' Lily asked curiously.

'I'm sorry Lily, but I'm afraid it's not my place to tell you that.'

'That's alright,' said Lily. 'I'm more curious to know what you wished for when you blew out the candles.'

'I'm still not telling you,' Severus said with a grin.

Erwin looked at Severus, who was now staring at the road in front of them.

'I think I know what you wished for,' Erwin said to Severus with a twinkle in his eye.

Severus looked at Erwin and through an unspoken understanding between them, Severus knew that Erwin's suspicion was correct.

'But I'm not going to say anything, of course,' Erwin added. 'That's up to Severus to tell you.'

'Oh this is so unfair!' Lily sulked. 'I'm so curious.'

'Why do you want to know so badly?' Petunia asked Lily. 'If he doesn't want to tell you then he doesn't.'

'Says the girl who's always gossiping about everything when we go to bed,' Lily mouthed back. 'I'm just curious. Maybe it's something I can make happen if I knew what it was.'

'I don't think you do, Lily,' Severus said seriously.

'Will I ever find out?'

'Perhaps, when the time is right.'

Lily let out a groan. 'Now I'm more confused than ever.'

'Good, because that's exactly what I want you to be.'

The rest of the car ride to London consisted mainly of small talk.

Eventually, the west side of London came into sight and Erwin parked the car close to a tube station. They took the tube to Tottenham Court Road and, once they got off, they walked to Charing Cross Road.

Sandwiched between a bookshop and a record store, was the Leaky Cauldron.

'What exactly are we looking at?' Petunia asked. 'It looks like a brick wall to me.'

'You're not supposed to just look. You're supposed to believe,' Severus whispered in her ear. 'Right in front of you is a pub called the Leaky Cauldron.'

Petunia faced the wall dead center and, after a moment or two, her eyes grew wider and wider. The pub, already visible for Lily and Severus (and Erwin, having been there before), now appeared in front of Petunia.

'This is wonderful,' she said excitedly. 'Is Diagon Alley behind the pub then?'

'You guessed correctly,' said Severus. 'Are you ready?'


	41. A Trip to Diagon Alley II

Tom the barman (with more teeth than before) was standing behind the counter, cleaning glasses.

Petunia stuck close to her father. 'It's a little shadier in here than I thought,' she whispered to him.

'Anything I can help you with, sir?' Tom asked as he noticed the four people walking in.

'Not today, but thank you. We're getting this young man a new wand today.'

'Had a little accident with your previous one?' Tom asked curiously.

Severus nodded, then replied, 'It snapped.'

'It happens to the best of us,' Tom said in an attempt to sound reassuring. 'Need me to open the gate for you?'

'I can do that, sir,' Lily said from behind them. 'I have my wand with me.'

The four of them went through the back and into the walled courtyard.

Lily walked up to the wall, pulled out her wand and mumbled, 'three up… two across…' She tapped the wall three times and took a step back.

The brick wall started to wriggle in the middle and a small hole started to grow wider and wider until an archway had formed.

Petunia stood frozen in amazement and, despite having seen it happen before, Erwin couldn't help but be mesmerized by the magic in front of him.

To Severus' surprise (and probably Erwin as well), there were very few people out on the street.

'Where shall we go first?' Erwin asked with childlike enthusiasm.

'We could go to Scribbulus Writing Instruments first,' Lily said. 'It's right over there and they have art supplies as well.'

Petunia lit up at the mention of art supplies. 'I'd love to see that!'

The shop was stocked to the ceiling with ink, quills, and other paper supplies.

'Anything you need for school, Lily?' Erwin asked her as he looked at a handsome peacock quill.

'No thank you dad. I got enough supplies last time I went to Hogsmeade.'

Severus was looking through the ink supplies. 'Petunia,' he called, 'there's something here that you may like.'

Petunia walked up to him and took the bottle of ink that he handed to her. 'It's ink that changes colour when you write or draw something with it. I figured you may like it.'

Petunia looked at the bottle of ink in her hands as if she was just given a baby to hold. 'This is magnificent,' she whispered.

She looked at the price and, although she was unfamiliar with the value of galleons, she knew it had to be expensive. 'I wish I could afford it though,' she said sadly.

'I'll buy it for you,' he said to her.

'You will do that for me?' Petunia asked him in disbelief.

'I'll buy it for you if you make me a painting with it.'

'Thank you, Severus,' Petunia said sincerely. She looked over at Lily, who was looking at a pretty notebook. 'Will you get something for Lily too?'

'I have something else planned for her. Something a little more useful for when we're at school.' He whispered into Petunia's ear what he was going to get for Lily and she smiled in return.

'She'll be forever grateful if you do that,' she whispered back.

Severus took the bottle from Petunia's hands. 'Let me go get this for you.'

After leaving Scribbulus, they also visited Gambol and Japes, Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment, and Flourish and Blotts. They took a break at Florean Fortescue's Ice cream parlour. Despite it being midwinter, Erwin insisted on buying them all ice cream, as he found it the best ice cream he'd ever tasted.

'Look what Severus bought me,' Petunia said proudly as she pulled out the bottle of ink from her bag.

'That's so sweet of you, Sev,' Lily said happily as she looked at the bottle of ink.

'Petunia promised to make me a painting with it,' said Severus. 'Maybe you can use it for some artwork for your portfolio too, Petunia. Make the muggles go crazy because they don't understand why it keeps changing colour.'

Petunia laughed. 'I could definitely do that.'

Severus had finished his ice cream much quicker than the rest. 'There's something that I need to do really quick. I'll be right back.'

Making sure that Lily couldn't see where he was going, he headed to the north side of Diagon Alley to Eeylops Owl Emporium.

Lily had always wanted her own owl, but he knew that up to now she had never been able to afford one. A soft bell tingled as he entered the store. Dozens of owls were screeching in their cages.

He looked around for a while, and somewhere in the back he found a cage with an eastern screech owl. It was a small, plump owl with vivid rufous colours. It looked at Severus with one eye narrowed and let out a soft hoot.

He picked up the cage, took another good look at the owl, and knew that it was the perfect gift for Lily.

He paid fifteen galleons for the owl, some more for extra caretaking supplies, and made his way back to the ice cream parlour. The family had nearly finished their cones by the time Severus came back.

'I got you a gift too, Lily,' he said as he held the cage behind his back.

'You're getting Tuney and I gifts on your own birthday?' Lily said in surprise. 'That's not really how birthdays work, you know.'

'I am aware, but since this is the only chance to give something to you now that we're here, I might as well.'

Petunia was looking at Lily with an I-know-something-you-don't-know look.

Severus took a step closer to Lily. 'Do you want it or not?'

'Of course I want to see what you got me!' She exclaimed excitedly.

Severus held out the cage in front of him. 'I got you an owl.'

Lily's eyes turned into sparkling saucers. 'You got me an owl!' She shrieked. 'Sev, this is the best gift ever!'

She stood up and flung her arms around him, causing the owl to jump. 'Thank you so much!'

Severus handed her the cage, and Lily held it up in front of her, smiling at the frowning owl. 'Is it a boy or a girl?'

'The lady at the shop told me it's a boy, but he doesn't have a name yet.'

'I think I'll name him Harry—'

'—How about Leo?' Severus interrupted in an attempt to save the owl from being cursed with that name.

'After Leo Fender I'm sure?' Lily said teasingly. 'What do you think Mister Owl? Does Leo suit you?'

The owl squeezed his eyes in a pleasing manner. 'Leo it is then.'

Severus let out an inaudible sigh of relief that she hadn't named the owl Harry.

Lily put the cage on the table, as Erwin and Petunia leaned in closer to take a good look.

'He's very handsome,' Erwin said as he stuck his finger through the cage to pet him. 'Welcome to the family, Leo.'

Lily could not take her eyes off Leo as they continued to walk through Diagon Alley, mumbling thank you over and over again as they made their way to Ollivander's.

The shop was narrow and shabby, and looked a lot like an old library, except the books were replaced by piles of boxes containing wands.

There was only one spindly chair in the corner, so Erwin took the opportunity to sit down and took Leo's cage so Lily could show Petunia around.

Severus stood in front of the counter and somewhere in the back Mister Ollivander, already growing old, appeared in front of him.

'Good afternoon, Mister Snape,' Ollivander said in his soft voice, 'is there anything I can help you with?'

'I had a little accident with my wand, sir, and it broke beyond repair.'

Ollivander's face turned a little gloomy. 'It's always a shame when that happens. You're here for a new wand, I presume?'

'I am.'

'What was your wand arm again?'

'My left sir.'

'Give me a minute,' Ollivander said as she walked towards the back of the store.

A moment later he came back with a pile of wands.

'Mister Ollivander,' Lily said, 'is it okay with you if I showed my sister a few wands?'

'That's quite alright, Miss Evans, just make sure you put them back where you found them.'

'Thank you, sir,' said Lily politely, and dragged her sister to a corner of the store.

It soon became clear that it was not an easy feat to find Severus a new wand. In his mind, he thought it was probably because he was still looking for something that reassembled his old wand.

'Sorry it's taking so long,' Severus said as he put away yet another wand on the counter.

Lily and Petunia were looking at Severus with curiosity. 'I think I'm going to grab a random one and see what happens,' Lily said to her sister.

Lily pulled out a dusty black box from a pile and walked up to the counter with it. 'Try this one, Sev.'

'What kind of wand is this?' Severus asked as he opened the dusty box.

'I think it's made of Holly,' said Lily.

Ollivander was looking at the wand with peculiar interest. 'Interesting choice, Miss Evans,' he said rather darkly.

Severus gave the wand a wave and a warm glow started to flow through his hand. Red and gold sparks flew out of the wand like a small display of fireworks.

'Looks like we found your new wand, Sev,' Lily said, looking rather pleased with herself.

'Curious…very curious…' Ollivander said under his breath. He took the wand from Severus's hand and observed it intently. 'Eleven inches, made of holly, and a phoenix feather core. A rather rare kind of combination.'

'Sorry,' said Severus, 'but what's curious?'

'The phoenix whose tail feather is in the wand, or your wand now, I should say, gave another feather. Just one other, and it is very curious that you are destined for this wand when its brother—' Ollivander brought his voice to a low whisper, '—its brother is responsible for the darkness that's looming over our world.'

Lily was a little taken aback by Ollivander's sudden change of voice. Erwin, who had been listening to the conversation with a sharp ear, was looking at Severus with concern.

'I'm not quite sure I understand, sir,' Severus said carefully. But somewhere deep down inside, he had a feeling he knew exactly what it meant. If the phoenix that had given the feather had only given one other feather, and it belonged to the source of darkness, it meant that this wand was connected to that of the Dark Lord.

'I don't quite understand either, Mister Snape,' Ollivander said as he wrapped up the wand in brown paper. 'But the wand choses the wizard. That much is known for those who have studied wandlore.'

Severus paid seven galleons to Ollivander and wanted to leave the shop as soon as possible.

Once outside he unwrapped it right away and took another close look at it. He knew the wand had looked familiar when Lily had handed it to him. After Ollivander's concerning speech, it was confirmed in his mind.

The wand had once belonged to Lily's son and was now in his hands. The future would never be the same.


	42. A Trip to Diagon Alley III

'Petunia,' Severus said quickly to avoid any conversations regarding his new wand. 'Have you ever wanted to fly on a broom?' He pointed at Quality Quidditch Supplies while they were passing.

'Is that something I can do?' Petunia asked. 'I would like to try it if we have the time for it.' She looked over at Erwin with pleading eyes.

'You think I could try it out as well, Severus?' Erwin asked, looking at the broomstick that was on display in the window with curiosity.

They all went inside the shop. Severus quickly found the owner of the store to explain the situation to her.

'Not to worry, not to worry,' she said. 'I've got a fine starter's broomstick here that they can try out.' She grabbed a plain looking broom from a display on the wall. 'There's a practice courtyard in the back. Just follow me.'

They followed the shop owner to the back. To Severus' great annoyance, Potter and Black where there, flying around on what looked like brand new racing broomsticks.

Potter quickly caught sight of Lily, made an impressive pirouette in the air, and landed softly on the ground. Black followed him shortly thereafter.

'Hello Evans,' Potter said to Lily. 'Hello—Snape.' Potter probably didn't dare call Severus Snivellus in front of Lily's family.

'You must be Mister Evans,' said Black politely to Erwin.

'Dad,' Lily said as Erwin shook hands with the boys, 'this is James Potter and Sirius Black. They're both in Gryffindor as well.'

'I think I've seen the two of you before at King's Cross,' said Erwin. 'It's good to actually speak with you.'

Severus looked up at Petunia and nodded with his head towards the shop owner who was waiting for them to gather around her. 'Just go ahead and try it,' he whispered to her. 'This might take a while.'

Petunia, a little nervous, walked up to the lady that was waiting for her.

'What brings the two of you here?' Lily asked them.

'I live in London,' said Black. 'We come here all the time during the summer and winter breaks.'

'I hope you two gentleman can excuse me,' Erwin said politely. 'But I wish to see my daughter's first attempt at flying on a broomstick.'

Erwin walked up to Petunia, who was now sitting on the broomstick while the lady was explaining to her on how to control it.

'Do you have any news on that uhm—,' Potter started to talk to Severus. 'That potion you're working on?'

'Not very subtle are we, Potter?' Severus said with an air of boredom. 'And the answer is yes, I can start brewing the moment we get back to Hogwarts.'

'Good, very good,' Potter said while looking at Lily. 'What brings the two of you here?'

'Well uhm—' Lily started. 'It's Sev's birthday and he needed a new wand so—'

'—What happened to your wand?' Black asked sharply.

'It snapped you daft idiot,' Severus sneered back. Severus and Black were looking at each other intently.

'You know something, don't you?' Severus said in a low voice.

Black looked away in a flash of shame and nodded. 'It was in the Daily Prophet two days ago,' Black said softly.

Judging by Potter's confused look, Black either hadn't bothered to tell him or had preferred to keep it a secret.

'What's all this about?' Potter said curiously. 'Did something bad happen?'

'How about you tell your friend, Black?' Severus said dangerously.

The shame was still prominent in Black's eyes as he looked up at Potter. 'Snape's mum was murdered,' he said in nearly an inaudible whisper, 'by his muggle father.'

Potter's eyes turned into moons. 'I am so sorry—'

'—Please don't bother, Potter,' Severus interrupted him. 'Do you understand what this means?'

'I think I do,' Potter said softly.

A silence fell between the group of four. In the background, Petunia had managed to trace the outline of the courtyard. Though not daring to go much higher, she did manage to speed up a little before gently touching the ground.

'So that uhm—group you formed that Moony talked about, could Black and I possibly join too?'

Black looked at Potter as if he had lost his mind. 'How can you be sure you can trust him after all that dark stuff he got into?' Black barked at him.

'I don't,' Potter said calmly. 'But Moony trusts him. So does Evans here.'

Lily looked up at Potter with a raised eyebrow. 'Since when does my judgement on people's character matter to you, Potter? You've always seemed to find me a bit naïve.'

'Since we're all on the same side of this war,' Potter stated in a serious tone. 'At least, I hope so.'

Lily was starting to get annoyed. 'Would it be okay if Sev and I go take a look at my dad and sister trying to fly?'

'Good idea,' Black said quickly. 'Prongs and I are done here anyway.'

Black grabbed Potter by the sleeve to drag him into the shop. 'We'll see you at Hogwarts,' said Black.

Potter held himself back by the door. 'Are you sure you don't want to go on a date with me, Evans?' Potter said with an air of confidence. 'There is another Hogsmeade weekend coming up.'

'I am pretty sure that I do not wish to go out with you, Potter,' Lily said, to Severus's annoyance, with a smile. 'But please do ask Pettigrew to join the Young Order as well if the two of you plan on coming too.'

A hint of disappointment flashed in Potter's eyes at Lily's refusal, but quickly recovered at the mentioning of Pettigrew joining the group. 'I'll definitely ask him if he wants to. He isn't much of a fighter though. Cheers!'

Severus let out a sigh of relief when Potter and Black left the shop.

'What was up with Black?' Lily asked. 'He's never that uptight.'

'You are aware that he comes from a family that doesn't exactly support the fact that he's in Gryffindor, right?' Severus said as they walked up to Petunia and Erwin.

'Well yes but—'

'—What happened between my parents is not going to go unnoticed in our world, Lily.'

'I am aware of that.'

'And Potter should stop asking you out.'

Lily looked at Severus with a smirk. 'And why does it bother you so much, if I may ask?'

'Don't you ever get tired of having to reject him all the time?'

'I do but—'

'—Then next time I'll punch him in the face.'

Lily put her hands on her hips and the smirk on her face kept widening. 'Are you being protective of me?' she asked teasingly.

Severus crossed his arms. 'A man's got to learn when a lady says no, she means no.'

Lily wrapped her arms around him and gave him a small peck on the cheek. 'Don't you worry, Sev. I am perfectly capable of punching him in the face if I ever need to.'

'Are you sure you can reach that high—'

Severus didn't get to finish his sentence when Lily jabbed him in the ribs. 'I can always hit lower you know!' She said with a sneer.

'What are you two arguing over?' Erwin said as he turned around.

'Potter keeps asking her out,' Severus said with a bitter taste. 'Even though she told him off on several different occasions.'

'Need me to tell him off for you?' Erwin asked seriously.

'I'll be fine, dad,' said Lily. 'Besides, I got Sev here to protect me from any big bad man who ever has an interest in me.' She ruffled through Severus's hair when she said it.

'Would you like to try to fly, dad?' Petunia said as she got off the broom. 'It's fun!'

Erwin shook his head at the two bickering teenagers in front of him and started talking to the shop owner.

'Who were those two boys?' Petunia asked as she joined Severus and Lily on the sideline.

'Friends from school,' Lily said casually. 'They're in the same year we are.'

'Idiots from school,' Severus added. 'Potter keeps asking Lily out on dates.'

'Which one was Potter?'

'The one with the glasses.'

'He seemed cute.'

Severus nearly choked on his own air at Potter being called "cute".

'They're alright,' Lily said. 'But they're also thickheaded toe-rags.'

'I think dad wants to buy a broomstick,' Petunia said as they all looked at Erwin excitedly mounting the broom.

'I'm afraid I'll have to talk him out of it then,' said Lily with an amused sigh. 'Can't have dad flying around on a broomstick through town and live to tell the tale.'

Erwin seemed to have a lot of fun flying around on a broom. He wasn't afraid of going higher and speeding up. It took a while before he was finally willing to dismount the broom and leave the shop.

'I would so love to have a flying broomstick,' he said dreamily as they made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron.

'Remember I told you about being able to make a motorcycle fly, Erwin?' Severus asked.

'You still plan on saving up for a motorcycle then?' Erwin asked.

'I sure do. I mean, it may not be a good idea for you to have a flying broomstick, but that doesn't mean we can't have our own secret project going,' Severus said with a grin.

'I thought you were afraid of heights, Sev?' Lily asked in surprise.

'I am, but there are some things I'm willing to shove my fears aside for.'

After a quick meal at the Leaky Cauldron they made their way to the car and headed back to Cokeworth.

'Happy with your new wand, Severus?' Erwin asked him.

Severus was now sitting beside Lily on the backseat. Leo was sitting on her lap, fast asleep in his cage.

'I am,' said Severus. 'It'll take some time to get used to it, but it feels right in my hands, if that makes any sense.'

Lily had her face pressed against the window.

'Are you tired?' Severus asked her.

'Not really,' she said with a hint of frustration. 'I was just thinking about why Potter was so curious about you brewing that potion, and I think I have it figured out.'

Severus looked at her in a serious matter.

'It's Remus, isn't it?' She said quietly. 'Remus is a werewolf.'

Severus nodded. 'It's not really my place to tell you though.'

'I think I've known for a while,' she added. 'It all adds up when I think about it and I guess a part of me just didn't want to believe it.'

'Are you afraid of him?' Severus asked carefully.

Lily shook her head. 'I haven't been afraid of him for as long as I've known him. I see no reason to be afraid of him now.'

'Just don't tell anyone until he's ready to tell people himself,' Severus said to her.

'I promise I won't,' said Lily reassuringly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I highly recommend looking up a picture of an Eastern Screech owl. They look cute until they change their entire appearance when threatened.


	43. The Trial of Tobias Snape

On Saturday, the day before Lily and Severus would return to Hogwarts, the trial for Tobias was set in the London courthouse.

Arnica and Petunia were going to stay behind. So, they shared their goodbyes with Lily, Severus, and Erwin as they were preparing to leave.

'I have something for you, Severus,' Petunia said as she handed him a round cardboard poster holder. 'Open it when you're back at Hogwarts, alright?'

Severus knew it had to be a piece of art she had made for him. 'Thank you, Petunia,' he said sincerely.

'I made it with the ink you gave me,' she said with a smile.

'Good luck today with the trial, Severus,' Arnica said as she embraced him.

'Thank you for everything,' he whispered back.

Lily was sitting with her knees up in the backseat with their trunks, guitar cases, and Leo, as they waved goodbye to the two women who were staying behind.

'Can I be present at the trial or do I have to wait at the Leaky Cauldron?' Lily asked.

'I would prefer if you stayed at the Leaky Cauldron, Lily,' Severus said with a serious undertone. 'I don't want you to see this.'

'Are you sure, Sev? I mean, I would like to be there to support you.'

Severus looked over his shoulder and shot her a sad smile. 'I just don't want you to deal with all this misery.'

Lily reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. 'Then I'll wait for you.'

It was a quiet ride to London, probably due to the fact that the trial was lying heavily on their minds. This time Erwin decided to drive into the inner city and find a parking garage there.

It was busier than usual at the Leaky Cauldron. A lot of families had gathered here with children who were going back to Hogwarts, but none that Lily or Severus recognized right away.

The only room left available had a large twin bed in it, and they had been able to conjure up another bed for Severus in the corner of the room.

As Erwin and Severus prepared themselves to leave, Lily swung her trunk on the twin bed and started rummaging through it.

'Sev,' she said. 'Would you like a hair tie?'

Severus poked his head out from the bathroom. 'What would I want to use a hair tie for?'

'For you hair, of course,' Lily said dryly. 'Make you look at least a little bit more presentable for the trial.'

Severus walked up to her, took the hair tie from her hands, and tied his hair up tightly.

Lily looked at him with a straight face, but her watery eyes betrayed that she tried to suppress laughter.

'It makes my nose look even bigger than it already is,' Severus said coldly.

'It makes you look like Malfoy,' Lily said in between giggles.

At that, Severus immediately pulled the tie out of his hair and let it fall over his shoulders.

'I prefer to stick to my Ozzy Osbourne look, thank you very much.'

'Will you be alright here on your own, Lily?' Erwin asked her as he and Severus prepared to leave.

'We'll be fine,' Lily said as she patted Leo. 'Good luck, Sev.'

Erwin and Severus took the bus to the courthouse. Much of the procedures were a blur to Severus. The only thing occupying his mind was the fact that he would have to face his father again, and it bothered him to no end that it was making him nervous. There was no reason to be afraid anymore and yet the prospect of seeing his father weighed heavily on his heart.

'Mister Snape.'

As they were about to enter the courtroom, Dumbledore had shown up from behind them and he let out a sigh of relief.

'Headmaster,' Severus greeted him. 'It's good to see you here.'

Judging by Dumbledore's eyes, matters were more serious than they already were.

'I am on the jury along with a few others from the Ministry of Magic. We'll speak after the trial if that is alright with both of you?'

Both Erwin and Severus nodded in agreement.

'Good luck,' Dumbledore said as he patted Severus on the shoulder.

The courtroom didn't look anything like the room of the Wizengamot where he once had been on trial himself. He had somewhat expected a cage like he had been standing in, but of course that's not the way muggles held trials, as they didn't have to deal with the dangers of magic.

Some members of the jury had already taken a seat, but neither the judge nor Tobias had arrived yet.

Erwin and Severus took a seat in the front row in case they needed to be called forward. 'Dumbledore's the Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot,' Severus whispered to Erwin. 'He gets involved in a lot of politics.'

'I have absolutely no idea what any of those things mean,' Erwin admitted.

'Basically that Dumbledore's an important man in more ways than being a headmaster.'

Severus was surprised at how many people from the public were present. By the purple and green that some people wore Severus could tell there were plenty of wizards among them. One woman stood out particularly in the crowd.

Not only was she dressed eccentricly, to say the least, but she also hadn't bothered to bring along a muggle pen and was avidly writing in a notebook with a quill.

Severus balled a fist out of frustration and had to contain himself not to call out to her. He nudged Erwin and nodded in her general direction.

'That's Rita Skeeter,' he said quietly.

'Interesting looking young lady,' Erwin said. 'Do you know why she's here?'

'She's a reporter,' Severus said coldly. 'A lying, fake little—'

'—Let's not worry too much about that shall we?' Erwin interrupted.

'On the contrary, Erwin, it gives us everything to worry about. Her story will end up in the newspapers telling only half-truths.'

'Will her story put you in a bad light?'

'Most likely. And Dumbledore and everything else that is related to this trial. This is bad Erwin. This is very, very bad.'

If Rita Skeeter's presence wasn't bad enough, a woman so short it made Lily look like a gazelle in comparison, had taken her place among the jury's table.

The arrival of the short woman hadn't gone unnoticed, as she was clad in a bright pink garment and had a particularly sour toad-like look on her face.

Severus felt an old rage boil up inside of him. 'And that lady is Dolores Umbridge,' Severus said with a shaking voice. 'Head of the Improper Use of Magic Office.'

'Why would she be among the jury?' Erwin asked in confusion.

'I hope Dumbledore will have an answer to that once the trial is over,' Severus gritted through his teeth.

Erwin didn't need to ask in order to understand that her presence was a very bad thing, if not even worse than Rita Skeeter sitting among the crowd.

Dumbledore walked in as the last jury member at the same time the judge took his seat.

As everyone was called to order, Tobias was led in by two police officers, and was released from his handcuffs. He hadn't dared to look at the crowd, and probably did not even know that his own son was sitting closely behind him.

The fear that Severus had at first, washed away as soon as he caught sight of his father. The man looked weak, forlorn, and defeated, and, to Severus's frustration, a lot like he did as a grown up.

Severus didn't really want to listen when Tobias was being questioned. He hardly noticed Erwin being called forward to explain the situation that Severus was now in or come back to the seat beside him.

'I don't remember how I ended up in town,' Tobias said pleadingly. 'I hardly remember any of it.'

Severus wouldn't have been interested in those words if he hadn't caught sight of Dumbledore's eyes shifting uncomfortably. Had magic been involved?

'I remember being drunk and angry,' Tobias admitted, 'but I don't remember why I kept hitting them. It's as if I had literally lost my mind.'

The muggles in the room wouldn't hear of it, but the wizards that were present were listening intently. Severus's heart started racing. Magic had been involved in one way or another. This might explain why Umbridge was present. Stars were starting to form in his eyes.

Then, everything went black.

He woke up, once again, to the sound and smell of what had to be a hospital. Only this time it was St. Mungo's.

He could hear footsteps in the hallway but no one was around him when he opened his eyes. Quickly he traced back his thought process to the last moment he was awake. Had he really fainted?

Voices were talking from behind the door and Lily's voice was particularly clear to him. It was comforting to know that she was around, even if he couldn't see her.

'I'm awake,' he called out with some difficulty as she sat up straight. His throat felt as dry as sandpaper.

'I'm awake,' he said again, a little louder this time.

The door swung open, revealing Lily, Erwin, and Dumbledore.

Lily ran up to him right away and gave him a hug. 'You really scared me there, Sev,' she said emotionally.

'I think I just fainted,' he said reassuringly as he took in her scent. 'What was the result of the trial?'

Dumbledore and Erwin both took a seat on the side of the bed.

'Tobias is going to be sentenced to a lifelong imprisonment,' Erwin said. 'As expected.'

'Umbridge wasn't there without a good reason, was she?' Severus asked Dumbledore.

'Are you sure you want to talk about this right now?' Dumbledore said with concern. 'You did only just wake up.'

'I feel fine Headmaster,' Severus said confidently. 'And I need to know. I don't trust that woman.'

'There was already a suspicion that magic may have been involved,' Dumbledore said gravely. 'But sadly that's also as much as we know. I suggest we talk this through when you get back to Hogwarts.'

Severus nodded in agreement. 'Can we go back to the Leaky Cauldron, Erwin? I don't want to be here.'

'I'll go get a healer and see if you can go, okay?'

Both Erwin and Dumbledore stood up. 'I shall see the two of you at school,' said Dumbledore. 'Try to get some rest for the journey back tomorrow.'

The two men walked out of the door together and Lily jumped on the bed to sit beside him.

'Something very bad is going on in our world, isn't it?' Lily said carefully.

Severus looked at her seriously. 'And it's only going to get worse.'


	44. The Article of Reeta Skeeter

It took a lot to convince the healers at St. Mungo's. However, the guarantee that the Hogwart's matron could look after Severus is what finally convinced them to release him from hospital.

Severus' head ached as they made their way back to the Leaky Cauldron. He quickly made his way up to their room and found Leo sleeping in his cage.

'Wake up, Leo,' he whispered as he picked up the owl from his cage. 'I have something to do for you.'

Leo looked a little cranky at first, but quickly puffed up his chest at the mention of getting something to do.

'I hope you don't mind, Lily,' he asked, 'but I need Leo to get me a subscription to the Daily Prophet.'

After Leo was sent on his way, Severus climbed into bed and buried his head in his pillow.

'Do you want to go to sleep, Sev?' Lily asked from the bathroom.

'I do,' he said with a muffled sound. 'But I don't know if I can.'

Lily came back after she had put on her pajamas and brushed her teeth. She sat down next to Severus on his bed and gently ran her fingers through his hair.

'Wake me up if you need me.'

…

Fortunately, he had managed to fall asleep and the ache in his head from the previous day was now nearly gone.

A part of him didn't feel like going back to Hogwarts. He just wanted to stay in bed and sleep through it all until the war would be declared officially over. Heading to the train meant having to face every single student and teacher who knew about his situation. It meant being questioned, pitied, and scowled at.

'Get up Sev,' Lily said happily as she opened the curtains. 'We have to eat some breakfast before we head to King's Cross.'

Erwin walked out of the bathroom, already freshly dressed and ready to go. 'You doing alright, son?' he asked Severus.

'I'll be alright,' Severus said as he got up. He realised that he had fallen asleep with his clothes on. 'I must've been exhausted.'

He showered for as long as he could stretch it, and picked at his breakfast, not feeling hungry at all.

'Aren't you at least a little excited to go back to Hogwarts?' Lily asked him with concern. 'You look like a mess.'

'Less of a mess than your hair,' he said back teasingly and Lily threw a piece of her toast at him in frustration.

The platform between nine and ten was already flooding with students. So far, Severus had spotted the Marauders, receiving a wave from Lupin. Also, Avery and his family, who were pretending he did not exist.

Somewhere near the end of the platform, Lily found Frank and Alice and locked them into a tight embrace.

'Severus,' Frank said wide-eyed as he caught sight of him. He immediately ran up to Severus and pulled him into a tight embrace, throwing Severus off guard.

'Mate, I've been so worried!' Frank said as he allowed Severus to breathe again. 'How are you feeling?'

The look of sincerity on Frank's face made Severus feel slightly uncomfortable. He was used to only Lily seeming to genuinely care about him.

'I'm alright,' he replied, not sure if he meant it at all. 'Can we get on the train, please?'

There were far too many people for him on the platform and it was starting to make his feel uncomfortable. He couldn't shake the feeling that everyone was glancing at him one way or another. As if they all knew something he didn't.

Lily shared her goodbyes with her father and boarded the train with Alice. From the sound of it, they had found Mary sitting in a compartment.

'Thank you for everything, Erwin,' Severus said as he looked Erwin in the eye.

Without warning, Erwin pulled him into a hug. 'Look after my daughter, will you?' He whispered in Severus' ear.

'I always have,' Severus whispered back. 'Please write to me about what you are going to do in the Order for Dumbledore. In code if you must. I can figure it out.'

'I will,' Erwin said as he let go of Severus. 'Try to enjoy school.' At Severus' doubtful look, he quickly added, 'At least a little bit. While it lasts.'

Together with Frank, Severus boarded the train with his luggage and found the girls in their usual compartment.

Alice and Mary looked up at Severus with pity in their eyes, which almost made him turn around and find somewhere else to sit.

'Don't look at me like that,' he sneered at them.

'To be fair, Severus,' said Mary, 'I'm surprised you're still standing up straight.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' He looked over at Lily, but she didn't seem to understand either.

'Do you receive the Daily Prophet, Severus?' Mary asked.

'Not yet,' he said as he sat down beside Lily. 'I got myself a subscription last night. Figured it would be wise to remain up to date.'

Mary pulled out a crumbled up article from her backpack and handed it over to Severus.

Lily leaned in closer to him to read along. Everybody in the compartment was looking at them intently, as if they were expecting a sudden burst of rage.

_'_ _Tobias Snape, the muggle held responsible for the death of his witch wife, Eileen Snape (née Prince), was sentenced by the Muggle authorities to a lifelong imprisonment today,_ _'_ _writes Special Correspondent Rita Skeeter._

Severus quickly started to skim through the rest.

_'_ _…may possibly have been Confunded or held under the Imperius Curse…_ _'_ (Certainly a thing to discuss with Dumbledore.)

_'_ _…influence of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his Death Eaters growing…_ _'_ (That was already expected.)

_'…_ _their only son, Severus Tobias Snape, a fifth year student at Hogwarts of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to live with Muggles…_ _'_ (Still a magical dwelling stupid cow.)

_'_ _…Severus is known at school to be rather anti-social and has a particular fondness for the Dark Arts…_ _'_ (Which blithering idiot did she manage to interview?)

_'…fainted once he met eye to eye with his father, whom he closely reassembles…_ _'_ (I did not need to be reminded of that.)

_'_ _…in an intimate relationship with his supposed foster sister…_ _'_ (This is where I draw the line.)

'What!' yelled Severus angrily. 'When did this story start to revolve around my relationship with you!?'

Lily was still looking at the article in shock. 'Intimate relationship with you,' she said with a scowl. 'How does she even know about you living with me? How is it even relevant?'

Severus could feel the train engine shaking as it started warming up and dashed off to the door. 'Erwin,' he called out. 'I got something for you to read.'

Erwin, who was still waiting outside until the train would leave, walked up to him and took the article from his hands.

'Read it somewhere private,' Severus said in a serious tone. 'This is why it was so bad for Rita Skeeter to be present at the trial yesterday.'

Erwin took the article from Severus' hand and tucked it in his pocket. 'Don't let them get you down, Severus,' Erwin said in an attempt to reassure him.

The train started to move as soon as Severus closed the door. The group waved to their parents until the train took a turn, making the platform disappear.

Severus slumped down and put his hands in his hair. 'This is bad,' he whispered to himself. 'This is very, very bad.'

'Will you talk to Dumbledore about this?' Frank asked him.

'I don't have much of a choice, do I?' Severus said with a shaking voice.

On the outside of the compartment, Avery and Mulciber had caught sight of him and started to fake faint in order to mock him.

'Something going on?' Severus said, still looking at the ground.

'Nothing,' Lily said with a little too much bitterness. 'Just Avery and Mulciber being jerks.'

Lily was attempting to pull Severus' hands out of his hair. 'Sev, I understand that things are going to be hard on you, but just remember that you are not alone.'

He put his hands down and looked up through his hair at the rest of the people that were sitting with him. 'Sorry,' he said softly. 'Sometimes I forget.'

'Is anyone up for a game?' Mary said. 'I think we could use some distraction.'

'I'm up for it,' Severus said quickly. 'I don't want to worry about anything until we get back to Hogwarts.'

As Mary started to hand out cards for a game of Exploding Snap, Alice looked at Severus and Lily with a grin.

'See something funny?' Severus asked Alice as he caught sight of her shifting her eyes between him and Lily.

'Just wondering if you two are actually dating,' she said with a smile. 'I mean, the article did mention something about an intimate relationship—'

'Oh shut up, Alice,' Lily said, suppressing a grin. 'Sev and I are not dating. Nor are we in an intimate relationship for the matter.'

Alice raised her eyebrows. 'Too bad, I would've liked to see the two of you together.'

'Well there's a bold statement,' Severus said to Alice with a tone of surprise.

'What?' Alice said as if it was a perfectly normal thing to say. 'You two have been friends forever. I'm just saying it would be weird if the two of you didn't end up together is all.'

Severus tried to wave it off and Lily started to get red in the face. 'The idea of Sev and I as a couple weirds me out to be honest,' Lily said. 'But maybe it is because—'

'—Let's not talk about this any further shall we,' Severus interrupted. 'That Skeeter is nothing more than a lying cow anyway.'

During the journey back, Severus tried to avoid looking at people passing by the compartment as much as possible. Everybody seemed to have read, or at least heard, about what happened to him and the stares were quickly getting on his nerves.

It was already dark by the time the train rolled into Hogsmeade. A freezing wind swept through the air and Severus could see the boney Thestrals trying hard to fight against the cold.

The group walked up to an empty carriage and Severus was nudged by the Thestral that was attached to the carriage. Severus looked the sad creature in the eye and patted the creature on the head. 'Let Hagrid take good care of you when you're done, big girl,' he said to the Thestral.

'Losing your mind, Snape?' Mulciber said from behind him with an evil laugh. 'Talking into thin air.'

Both the Thestral and Severus looked dangerously over at Mulciber. 'Don't let the invisible creature hear you Mulciber,' Severus said darkly. 'It may just attack...and you won't see it coming.'

'Just step inside, Sev,' Lily said with a groan as she looked at the two men sneering at each other.

Severus pet the Thestral one last time, then he set foot inside the carriage, and took place opposite of Lily.

Lily sat with her arms folded. 'Sev,' she said dangerously. 'I thought you couldn't see Thestrals.'


	45. The Beauty of Petunia's Art

'My mother died, remember?' Severus snapped back angrily.

'You weren't there when she died!' Lily said while raising her voice. 'Why is it you can still see them?'

'I don't know!' Severus said with frustration. 'I just do, okay?'

Lily scowled at him and turned her head away.

'Oh could you two not!' Alice said to both. 'I've never seen you argue like this before.'

Severus knew why Lily was angry. It wasn't him being able to see the Thestrals, but the fact that he was keeping things from her. The heavy secret that he carried with him was something that he didn't want to share with her until they were at least of age or become significant to their future.

'How come you can see them, Severus?' Asked Mary, clearly taking Lily's side on this matter.

'I cannot answer you that,' he said with a raw voice. 'Some things I prefer not to speak of.'

'I hate it when you keep secrets from me,' Lily said softly, as if she were withholding tears.

'I'm sorry, Lily,' he said sincerely, but she didn't speak to him again all the way back to the castle.

Severus found Rosier sitting at the end of the Slytherin table. 'I'm going to talk to Rosier for a bit, okay?' He said to the group and made his way to the Slytherin table.

'How has your Christmas break been?' Severus asked Rosier as he sat down beside him.

'Mine's been alright. Did a lot of exploring of the castle. I found out the Room of Come and Go does much more than just present a practice room.'

'Find anything interesting?'

'Not particularly. Don't think my parents were happy with me staying either. All they gave me was this old diary for Christmas— hey Vanity!' Rosier said happily.

The Slytherin quidditch captain had just arrived. She glanced at Severus first, but probably made up her mind about it within that split second.

'How are you doing, Snape?' she asked him.

'To be fair, I've never been worse.'

'I won't bother you with any more questions about it,' Vanity said. 'It must be tough enough having to deal with everyone staring at you.'

Rosier gave Severus an I-know-what-happened look. 'I won't ask questions unless there's something you would like to talk about.'

Severus shook his head. 'Thanks, but talking about it is the last thing I want to do right now.'

'Rosier,' said Severus as he was picking at his food. 'I don't think it's wise for me to stay in the Slytherin dorms.'

'I understand,' Rosier said. 'To be fair, Avery and Mulciber are getting on my nerves too. Got another place to stay?'

'I do,' Severus answered. 'I've got a secret room down in the dungeons to myself. Just don't tell Slughorn on me. I don't need people to think that I'm spooking around the castle at night when I'm not.'

'My lips are sealed,' said Rosier.

Severus couldn't eat, so he quickly made his way to the Slytherin dungeons and took his luggage out of the dorm room and dragged it into the potions lab.

For the first time since his arrival at Hogwarts, he was able to use his new wand.

He took a good look at it, still amazed at how the wand that had once belonged to Lily's son was now lying in his own hands. He thought about mentioning it to Dumbledore, but having to explain the whole history behind this particular wand wasn't something he was looking forward to. Maybe he'll leave that bit of information from Dumbledore until it would become significant.

He held up the wand and conjured a bed out of thin air. The bed looked entirely different from the ones he had conjured up before in the past. It looked a lot more…fancy? It was a four-poster bed, covered in green satin, and it looked so comfortable that Severus was tempted to just crawl into it and fall asleep.

Before he could decide whether to crawl into bed or not, he heard the door being opened and closed, and he quickly turned around, wand at the ready, to see who had entered the lab.

He drew his wand back immediately after seeing it was Lily who had walked in.

'Interesting looking bed,' she said as she closed the door behind her and melted back into the wall. 'No longer staying in the Slytherin dormitory I see.'

'It's not safe for me to stay there,' he replied. 'So I figured I'd make the lab my place of retreat for the time being.'

'Sit down, Severus,' said Lily calm but demandingly and Severus did as he was told.

'I know I'm not going to get a straight answer out of you,' she said as she sat down beside him on the bed, 'but I don't want to go to bed angry with you either.'

Severus looked down at his hands as he fumbled around with his wand. 'I'm so sorry, Lily,' was all he could mumble.

'Sev,' Lily said with difficulty, 'at the beginning of this year when I saw you again on the train, I thought you were just speaking a lot of gibberish to get my attention, but—'

Severus looked up at her with wide set eyes.

'—But I can't help it but think there must have been some sort of truth in the things you said that day.'

'I wish I could explain it to you, Lily,' he said with a heavy heart. 'I really do, but I can't right now.'

'Whatever it is, Sev, I hope that, for whatever reason it is that you can't tell me, you can at least confide in Dumbledore about it.'

'I can,' he said with a little ray of hope. 'In fact, I'm going to meet up with him again after class tomorrow.'

'Good,' Lily said. 'Now, there's another reason why I'm here.'

'And what reason would that be?' Severus asked her, a little scared whether she was still mad about something.

'About that potion you and Mister Belby are trying to create, are you going to start on that any day soon?'

Severus let out a sigh of relief. 'I was going to start tomorrow—'

'—Why not start today,' Lily interrupted. 'You've got everything you need, right?'

'I am, but I'm tired—'

Lily let out a sigh. 'You just need to eat. You haven't really eaten anything since this morning.'

'Have you been watching me?' Severus asked her with a grin on his face.

'I promised dad to make sure you would eat well,' she said. 'You tend to forget that when you're stressed.'

Lily fumbled in her pocket and pulled out a large slice of apple pie she had wrapped carefully in a napkin. 'It was the easiest thing to bring with me,' she said as she handed him the slice.

'Thanks,' he said, noticing how hungry he was, now that Lily wasn't angry with him anymore.

'Will you start working on the potion tonight?' Lily asked him hopefully.

'I will,' he said, 'but I won't have it ready until the next full moon, which is in a few days from now if I remember correctly.'

'It is,' Lily confirmed, 'What about the Felix Felicis?'

The twinkle in her eye betrayed that she had been looking forward to starting to brew it.

'How about you start with that,' Severus said, seeing the challenge in her eyes. 'And we'll work side by side tonight.'

'You will entrust me with all those rare ingredients?' Lily asked as if she couldn't quite believe it.

'Have I ever doubted your talent?' Severus said as he swallowed a large piece of the pie. 'I'm sure you can do it Lily.'

After he finished the apple pie, Severus got up from the bed and kicked open his trunk.

'One more thing before we start,' he said as he rummaged through it.

He pulled out the cardboard poster holder from his trunk that Petunia had given him. 'Let's see what Petunia has made for me, shall we?'

He sat back down on the bed beside Lily and took off the plastic cap. Carefully he pulled out the paper Petunia had painted on. He gently unrolled it to reveal a portrait, in intricate detail, of the whole family, including him.

The magical ink that Severus had given her had formed itself to represent the exact colours of their skin tones and hair, making it look like a very realistic portrait.

Severus felt himself tear up a little. It was as if Petunia's painting confirmed that he was now officially a part of the family, standing happily in their midst.

'It's beautiful,' Lily said, looking at the painting in adoration. 'I'm so glad she started making art again.'

Lily got up, found an empty inkbottle, and transfigured it into a simple frame. 'You can hang it up above the fireplace, if you'd like?' She asked him as she showed him the frame.

'I would like that,' he said, still looking at the painting with a warm feeling in his heart.

Severus placed the painting upside down on the glass, framed it, and used a sticking charm to secure it above the fireplace.

'Now you have a little piece of home with you at Hogwarts,' Lily said as she put an arm around his shoulders. They both looked at it for a while before they turned away from it and pulled out the recipes and ingredients for the potions they were about to work on.

'Do you think Vernon will accept the idea of Petunia going to art school?' Severus asked Lily as he lit the fire under his cauldron.

'No idea,' Lily said, 'but she promised she would write to me once I send Leo to her. I hope he's back by tomorrow.'

'He should be,' Severus reassured her. 'He's a clever owl.'

'He's still the greatest gift I've ever gotten,' Lily said with a smile.

'You know what's also a wonderful gift?' Severus said to her. 'You not being angry with me.'

'Sometimes you are a bit of a mystery to me, Sev,' she admitted. 'But I trust you and that's all that matters.'

'Speaking of Vernon,' said Severus, 'I did manage to keep something a secret from you.'

Lily looked away from the Snidget feathers she was sorting. 'And what would that secret be?' She asked curiously.

From the inside of his robe, Severus pulled out a brand-new pack of cigarettes. 'I took these out of his jacket when I went to talk to Petunia on Christmas.'

Lily's eyes grew wide in adoration. 'Looks like we have something to do after our Astronomy class on Friday,' she said with a smirk.


	46. Ogden's Memory about the Gaunts

Severus found himself sitting at the Gryffindor table for breakfast the next day. As he had expected, Lupin came up to him with questions.

'Do you have any news on that potion?' Lupin asked Severus with caution. Judging by the blue circles under Lupin's eyes, it was clear that full moon was only a few days away.

'Brewing as we speak,' Severus said reassuringly. 'It won't be ready until the next full moon though. And it's only the first attempt. There's no guarantee whether it'll be a success or not.'

'At this point I'm willing to try anything,' Lupin said with a scowl.

Severus put his butter knife down. 'Even if that means getting poisoned, Lupin?' He quipped dryly. 'Because one mistake is all it takes to put you either in the hospital or six feet underground.'

'If you've dealt with lycanthropy for as long as I have, Snape,' Lupin whispered, 'death is nearly worth the risk.'

At that statement, Severus grew a little concerned. 'Are you saying that you'd rather not be alive if a cure for lycanthropy won't be found?'

'I'm saying it's something that I'm not sure if I can live with it for the rest of my life,' Lupin said with a sad smile. 'It takes too much from me.'

'I'll find a way,' Severus said in an attempt to cheer him up. 'There has to be and I will find it.'

'You're a good man, Snape,' stated Lupin. 'Maybe you should show it to the world more often.'

Lupin got up and rejoined the Marauders a little further down the table.

Once Lupin was gone, Lily arrived in the great hall. Distant fluttering indicated that the owl post was about to arrive. Both Lily and Severus were looking up to spot Leo among them. Eventually, the tiny owl made a dive bomb towards the Gryffindor table and stopped just in time to avoid crashing into a bowl of cereal.

Proudly, Leo held out the slip of subscription and a copy of the Daily Prophet with its claw to Severus.

After treating Leo to some bits of bacon, Lily and Severus bent over the paper to see if there was any pertinent news related.

Other than a family of muggles disappearing from Leeds, there wasn't anything noteworthy and Severus passed the paper to Frank who had just arrived.

The first day of school was a drag. It seemed to take forever before Severus was finally able to run out of the Ancient Runes classroom and head straight to Dumbledore's office.

After walking into the headmaster's office, Severus saw Fawkes asleep on his perch, and found Dumbledore swirling around memories inside the pensieve with his wand.

'Good afternoon Mister Sn—Severus,' Dumbledore corrected himself. 'How have you been doing since the funeral?'

'Quite alright to be fair Headmaster,' Severus said as he walked up to the pensieve. 'I got a feeling this isn't going to be a normal therapy session.'

'On the contrary Severus. Getting you involved in warfare may just be a solution to your problems.'

Severus looked Dumbledore in the eye and words didn't need to be spoken in order to understand what Dumbledore was saying.

Severus looked down into the pensieve, but the memories Dumbledore had poured into it were too blurry to the eye.

'Care to tell me who's memories these are, Headmaster?'

'These memories belong to Bob Ogden,' Dumbledore said as he looked down at the swirling mass. 'He was an employee in the department of Magical Law Enforcement. It took some persuasion to get the memory from him before his retirement.'

'Any particular reason why this man's memory is significant to the war?'

'Come with me Severus and find out for yourself.'

Severus bent forwards, took a deep breath, and plunged his face into the silvery substance. He felt his feet lift from the floor, swirling through darkness, until suddenly he found himself standing on a country lane on a bright sunny day.

An odd looking wizard was standing a few feet away from them and Severus knew it had to be Ogden.

They followed him towards Little Hangleton and did not stop until they walked through a gap in a hedge. They stopped when they came face to face with one of the most grim-looking houses Severus had ever seen. Which was saying something, as he often considered Spinner's End to be the grimmest place he'd ever seen.

Severus was taken aback by the dead snake that was nailed to the door and he wasn't alone in that as Ogden was being particularly cautious around the house.

From the tree that was shading the house, a man dressed in rags dropped down, and landed right in front of Ogden and hissed something in his face.

'Er—good morning,' Ogden said. 'I'm from the Ministry of Magic—'

More hissing followed.

'Er—I'm sorry—I don't understand you,' said Ogden nervously.

'What exactly is going on?' Severus asked Dumbledore, who was looking at the display in front of him in utter fascination.

'You don't understand him either, do you Severus?'

Severus shook his head, but as he looked over at the snake that was nailed to the door, he understood.

'He's speaking Parseltongue, isn't he?'

'Very good,' said Dumbledore.

The man speaking Parseltongue was holding a knife in one hand, while holding his wand in the other.

'Now, look—' Ogden began, but he was already on the ground clutching his nose before he could continue.

'Morfin!' Said a loud voice as an older man came hurrying out of the house. The older man resembled the younger one in many ways and Severus knew it had to be Morfin's father.

The conversation continued, but Severus was distracted by an ugly golden ring, with a black stone in the center, on the old man's middle finger.

'I know that ring,' Severus said to Dumbledore.

'Paying attention to the details are we?' said Dumbledore, pleased with Severus's observation abilities.

Eventually, once Mister Ogden was led inside, it became clear that the ring was something that the old man, now introduced as Mister Gaunt, was very proud of.

In the corner of the room stood a frail looking woman and Gaunt flung himself at her and dragged her to Ogden by a golden chain.

'See this?' he bellowed at Ogden, shaking the heavy looking locket at him, while the girl gasped for breath.

'I see it, I see it!' Ogden exclaimed hastily.

'Slytherin's!' yelled Gaunt. 'Salazar Slytherin's! We're the last living descendants, what do you say to that, eh?'

Mister Ogden seemed more concerned with the woman's wellbeing than the fact that he was talking to descendants of Slytherin.

'That locket looks familiar, too,' Severus said carefully.

This time, Dumbledore looked at Severus a little more seriously. 'Care to tell me more once the memory is finished, Severus?'

Severus nodded and looked as the woman named Merope, was pushed back into the corner she had been standing in before. He was painfully reminded of his own mother after a bad encounter with his father.

The family kept arguing in Parseltongue, leaving Ogden, Severus, and Dumbledore confused as to what was being said. It was clear though, Merope was involved in something that the two men did not agree with, causing her to be pushed up against the wall.

At some point, Gaunt lost control and put his hands around his daughter's throat, causing both Severus and Ogden to yell 'no!' at the same time.

Ogden raised his wand and cried, 'Relashio!' Gaunt was thrown backwards, away from his daughter. In a roar of rage, Morfin leapt up to Ogden with his knife ready and firing hexes with his wand.

Dumbledore grabbed Severus by the arm to take him outside to follow Ogden, as Severus was still fixated on what was happening to Merope.

Ogden ran away, bumping into a handsome looking man on a horse, accompanied by a pretty girl, also on horseback. They laughed at Ogden's odd appearance as he ran off up the lane.

'I think that will do, Severus,' Dumbledore said as he dragged Severus out of the memory and back into the office.

Severus was still shaking with anger at how Merope was treated.

'Do you know who she was, Severus?' Dumbledore asked as he ushered him to the desk and poured them some tea.

'The Dark Lord's mother,' Severus stated matter-of-factly. 'And the muggle man who Mister Ogden bumped into has got to be his father.'

'How come you know all this?'

'The Dark Lord was never secretive about his heritage,' Severus said as he took a sip of his tea and calmed down a little. 'It was through the bones of his own father that he returned, after all.'

'Are you saying he has been vanquished before?' Dumbledore asked curiously.

'Never vanquished, but rather weakened to the point where he no longer had a body.'

Dumbledore's eyebrows were now reaching his hairline. 'Curious. Very curious,' was all he could mutter.

'Headmaster,' Severus said as he drained his tea, 'is there any particular reason why you showed me this memory?'

'I was hoping you would look at the details rather than the argument between Mister Ogden and the Gaunts and, fortunately, you have.'

'The ring and the locket I'm sure.'

'Yes, how come you know about these things?'

Severus was hesitant to how he was going to bring up the ring. It had been the reason Dumbledore had died, after all.

'You found the ring,' said Severus. 'You found it and you brought it back to Hogwarts.'

'And what of the locket?'

'I only remember it vaguely and the last time I saw it was at the Black's residence in London. It was the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix back then.' Severus leaned in a little closer. 'Whether it's already there considering the time frame or even the real locket that we saw in the memory, is debatable.'

Dumbledore folded his hands around his tea and let out a sigh. 'Do you have any idea what any of this means, Severus?'

'Sadly, you never trusted me enough to tell me,' said Severus sharply. 'You were always very cryptic when it came down to anything related to the Dark Lord with me.'

Dumbledore looked down at his desk. 'I am sorry if I ever doubted you, Severus—' but Severus waved it off.

'I understand why you did it. If I had known too much and the Dark Lord had managed to use legilimency on me, I would've been dead within the blink of an eye.'

'And yet I cannot help but see you feel resentful about it.'

'I just hated being kept in the dark,' Severus said as he helped himself to some more tea.

Both men sat in silence for a while, drinking their tea, their minds were occupied.

'I think it would be best if I came back next week,' Severus said eventually to break the silence.

'I think that would be wise,' said Dumbledore.

Severus stood up and readied himself to leave. 'One thing, Headmaster,' he said in a serious tone and lowered voice. 'If you go looking for the ring, which I am sure you were already planning on doing, promise me you won't put it on.'

'Is it dangerous?'

'More than you know,' Severus said darkly. 'So, no matter how curious you get and no matter how tempting, promise me you will not put it on.'

Dumbledore looked Severus deep in the eyes. 'I promise,' he said.

'Good, then we shall meet again next Monday.'

Once Severus left the office, he found Lily waiting for him in the corridor, playing with birds she had conjured out of thin air.

'Ready for some more potion brewing, Severus?' She asked with a twinkle in her eye.


	47. Fawkes the Phoenix

The previous evening Severus and Lily had spent, not only working on the Felix Felicis and Wolfsbane potion, but also on a supply of Invigorating Draughts, now that the demand after Christmas was reaching an all-time high.

'We're going to make a lot of money this week,' Lily said happily to Severus as they met up at Care of Magical Creatures, their last lesson of the day.

Despite the lesson being outside in the snow, the wind was still and the sun lit up the grounds in a golden light.

'We are covering the last magical bird today, aren't we?' Lily asked Severus.

'Should be if I remember correctly.'

'Professor Kettleburn said it was going to be the biggest surprise yet,' Lily said excitedly. 'Probably even more than seeing dodos.'

'Don't you mean Diricawls?'

'Oh same thing,' Lily said annoyed as she nudged Severus in the ribs. 'Here he comes.'

Professor Kettleburn came walking up to the group and everyone looked at him in awe. On his shoulder was a phoenix sitting proudly. Its golden feathers shimmering even more brightly in the sunlight.

'It's Fawkes,' Severus whispered to Lily. 'Dumbledore's phoenix.'

Kettleburn had Fawkes jump over to a perch that was already positioned in front of the group.

'Good afternoon everyone. I would like you all to meet Fawkes the phoenix.'

Fawkes puffed out his chest proudly the same way Leo did.

'This particularly handsome phoenix, belongs to Headmaster Dumbledore,' Kettleburn said as he started his lecture. 'A curious thing about these creatures is that, unlike other birds, they aren't known to kill. They only eat herbs.'

Quickly the group took out their notebooks and started scribbling down notes. 'The bird is four times X rated by the ministry. Not because it is a particularly dangerous bird, but because they are extremely difficult to domesticate.'

Pettigrew raised his hand. 'Then how did Headmaster Dumbledore manage to do so, Professor?'

'Good question, Pettigrew. It's also a question that, unfortunately, I cannot answer.' Kettleburn gently petted Fawkes behind his wings. 'Fawkes has been with Headmaster Dumbledore for a very long time and has always remained loyal to him. To make an odd comparison, but kind of like a wand, the phoenix choses the wizard, without really understanding why.'

Severus felt the weight of his wand in his pocket. Could it have been Fawkes's feather that was used in his wand? Surely more phoenixes had given feathers before.

'Another particularly interesting thing about phoenixes is that their song is magical,' Kettleburn said enthusiastically. 'It can increase the courage of the pure hearted and fear in the hearts of the impure.'

Severus recalled the song of the phoenix. He had heard it in the far distance, as he had attended Dumbledore's funeral while hidden in the forbidden forest. It had been beautiful, sad, and empowering.

'—And phoenix tears have healing powers.'

'Do you think phoenix tears can be used in potions?' Lily asked Severus.

Severus was still looking with a new fascination at the bird and he couldn't help but feel as if the bird was looking at him too.

'Not that anyone knows,' Severus answered. 'But I highly doubt that a phoenix is willing to share its tears with just anyone.'

'Would you like to step forward, Mister Lupin?' Kettleburn asked. 'Fawkes does love to be petted.'

An exhausted looking Lupin nodded in agreement, and stepped forward to pet the bird. 'He's even softer than I imagined,' Lupin said with a smile. Severus was observing Lupin and, although it could be his imagination, it looked as if Lupin was feeling better after petting the bird, as if it weren't only the phoenix's song and tears that were magical.

'Would anyone else like to pet him?' Kettleburn asked the group.

Soon, the whole group took their turns petting Fawkes, who seemed to enjoy all the attention he was getting.

Severus waited until everyone had their chance to pet Fawkes and prepared to leave class before approaching Fawkes with caution. He had his wand out, pretending that he was fumbling with it as he was waiting for his turn, and knelt down to meet the bird at eyelevel.

He held the wand up in two hands, showing it the bird as if he were presenting it with a gift. 'It's yours, isn't it?' Severus whispered to Fawkes, so only the bird could hear. Fawkes closed his eyes and nudged Severus in the face in a cat-like manner.

'So it is then,' Severus said, smiling as Fawkes was demanding to be petted by him. Petting the bird brought him a peaceful state of mind. He now knew that his observation with Lupin had to be correct.

'What were you two talking about?' Lily asked Severus as she waited for him to return to the castle.

'Nothing in particular,' Severus said as he said goodbye to Fawkes. 'Just that he's a very intelligent and mysterious phoenix.'

'Wish I had your talent with creatures,' Lily said as they made their way back to the castle. 'What are you going to do this afternoon?'

'Head to the lab and do homework,' Severus said. 'And you?'

'Sell a few potions we've made and do homework with Alice and Mary up in the library.'

'Need me to keep an eye on your Felix Felicis?'

'Nothing particularly needs to be done over the next week,' Lily assured him. 'I'd worry more about that Wolfsbane potion you're making.'

Lily made her way to the Great Hall while Severus headed to the Slytherin dungeon. Once there, he found Mulciber and Avery cornering Rosier against a wall.

Rosier had his arms folded tightly over a book that he was carrying, as if he were trying to protect it from the other boys' scowls.

'What is going on here?' Severus demanded as he stomped his way to them.

'None of your business, Snape,' Mulciber snapped back at him and held out his arm to keep Severus out of reach of Rosier.

Rosier, who was looking as white as a sheet, was trying hard to find a way to sneak pass them.

'It is my business when you're hurting my friends,' Severus said angrily as he tried to push Mulciber's arm way.

'Why would you want to be friends with a nancy boy who keeps writing in his diary—' Avery started, but Severus hit him square in the face before he could finished his sentence.

It gave Rosier just enough time to escape from their clutches and speed off towards the great hall.

'What is the matter with you two?' Severus spat as he whipped out his wand.

Avery held on to his nose, which started bleeding heavily.

'Wat te hell Snabe!' Avery muffled through his hands.

Severus was just in time to put up a shield charm from any hexes Mulciber was throwing at him. 'What has Rosier ever done to you?' He yelled.

'You think we don't know, Snape?' Mulciber barked at him. 'You think we're too stupid to see that Rosier is trying to avoid his duties to the Dark Lord?'

Regulus Black had just walked out of the Slytherin common room. 'Woah what's going on here?' He said, looking startled.

'Just that Rosier is heading the same way as your filthy Gryffindor brother,' Mulciber said matter-of-factly.

Black did not respond, but kept looking flabbergasted at the quarrel that was happening in front of him. 'I'd rather not get involved in this,' he said suddenly and turned around to go back into the Slytherin common room.

Severus couldn't be entirely sure, but it looked as if Regulus was already showing doubts about his allegiance to the Dark Lord. Perhaps it was time to have a conversation with him again and try to get him involved with the Young Order.

'You haven't been reading his diary, have you?' Severus asked dangerously as he held his wand over Mulciber's heart.

'Not going to say we haven't tried,' Mulciber said, knowing that Severus was holding an advantage over him. 'But we couldn't find anything written in it.'

That was odd. Could Mulciber possibly be lying? If his mastery of legilimency was of any use, now was the time to do it.

Avery had stopped holding on to his bleeding nose and pushed Severus out of the way, ruining the moment in which Severus could've used legilimency undetected.

Instead of continuing the fight, Severus swirled around and quickly ran off towards the Great Hall in the hope of finding Rosier there.

In a shadowy corner at the far end of the Slytherin table, Severus found Rosier sitting with his arms folded and his head down.

'Sorry I ran off,' Rosier mumbled as Severus sat down beside him. 'I guess I'm just not as brave as you.'

'Resisting everything your family stands for is a brave thing to do, Rosier,' Severus said in an attempt to reassure him.

'It's also a very foolish thing to do,' Rosier mumbled as he looked up. Judging from the red-rimmed eyes, Severus knew he had been crying.

'I know I'm not exactly the man to go to for guidance and comfort,' Severus said, 'but it might be a good idea to go to Professor Slughorn and ask for help.'

'Where exactly does Professor Slughorn stand?' Rosier asked and Severus knew he meant the war.

'Slughorn's a good man. A bit gullible perhaps, but also reliable.'

'Then that's what I'll do.'

'How have your occlumency lessons been with Dumbledore?' Severus asked to turn the conversation.

'Quite well, actually,' Rosier said, lighting up a bit. 'I've managed to block out Dumbledore a few times now. I know I'm far from being an expert but at least it's something.'

'I was wondering,' Rosier continued, 'would it be a good idea to teach occlumency to everyone in the Young Order, as a form of self protection?'

The fact that Rosier's suggestion had not even remotely occurred to Severus made him feel a tad disappointed in himself.

'That's quite a brilliant idea,' said Severus. 'Do you think you could teach the group?'

'I was kind of hoping you would,' Rosier admitted. 'I mean, I assumed you know how to use occlumency as well since you were the one who suggested I get lessons in it in the first place.'

'It's not that I can't,' said Severus, 'but I still think you should do it.'

'Why is that?'

'Because you lack a backbone and you need to learn how to lead people,' Severus stated. 'You're not an idiot. In fact, you are far from being an idiot like Mulciber and Avery are, but I think this is the only way you'll learn not to let people walk all over you.'

Rosier looked a little annoyed at Severus' statement, but also nodded in agreement. 'You're right Snape, I do need to learn to stand up for myself more.'

'I suppose you don't want to stay in the Slytherin dormitory anymore, do you?'

Rosier shook his head. 'I'd rather have my own secret little place, like you do.'

'How about we get your belongings and move you to the Room of Requirement?'

'Will you do that with me?' Rosier asked hopefully.

'If you promise me you'll talk to Professor Slughorn about this. He may just even have a better place for you to stay, as the Room of Requirement does function more as a temporary solution.'

Rosier stuck his hand in his pocket as if to make sure the diary was still there. 'Then let's do this now, shall we?'


	48. Snakes and Badgers

On Friday, after Care of Magical Creatures and being introduced to Crups (Jack Russel terrier type animals), the whole school made their way to the quidditch pitch.

Dark clouds were covering the sky and heavy rain was expected as soon as the match was scheduled to begin.

'I'm not sure if I want to go up there, Lily,' Severus said as he looked at the gathering crowd on the quidditch pitch.

'How about this,' she suggested, 'we'll make sure we sit next to the exit and if it gets too crowded for you, we can leave together.'

'Are you sure?' Severus asked. 'Because I know how badly you want to see Frank win against Slytherin.'

Lily looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 'You do realise that I consider your wellbeing to be more important than some quidditch match, right?'

Severus didn't know how to respond to that, so he followed her up the stairs to a watchtower. To his pleasant surprise, Professor McGonagall was sitting there too, looking at the players down below with a sharp eye.

'Good afternoon, Professor,' Severus said as he and Lily sat beside her. He couldn't help himself and had to ask, 'which team are you cheering for today?'

Professor McGonagall peaked over her square glasses as she looked at him. 'Technically I am not supposed to have favourites, Mister Snape,' she said, trying to sound indifferent. 'But on a more honest note, I am cheering for Hufflepuff today.'

'So Gryffindor can still be in the lead I'm sure,' said Severus, trying to stoke the fire a bit.

McGonagall's eyebrows turned into a frown. 'Yes indeed, Mister Snape. Though I fear Slytherin's team is, once again, on a winning streak.'

'Would you like to make a bet on which team is going to win?' Severus asked with a grin.

McGonagall looked sternly at Severus, as if she was internally debating whether making a bet with a student was something she could pull off without breaking the school rules. 'And what kind of a bet do you suggest, Mister Snape?'

A faint, yet unmistakable twinkle had appeared in her eye and Severus knew he had won her over.

'You'll receive a very small supply of Felix Felicis by the end of the school year, if Slytherin wins the game.' Severus said confidently. 'But if Hufflepuff wins, which I do believe is going to happen, I want you to teach me how to become an Animagus.'

Lily was looking horrorstruck at the conversation that was going on between Severus and their professor. 'I was expecting galleons to be exchanged,' she said in confusion.

'Don't be silly, Miss Evans,' McGonagall said, 'that would be illegal.'

Lily couldn't help but chuckle at McGonagall's way of finding a loophole in the rules.

'I am surprised you're not supporting your own team, Mister Snape,' said McGonagall. 'And how you are supposed to get your hands on such a rare potion is something I would rather not know either.'

'So we have a deal?' Severus asked hopefully.

'We have a deal,' agreed McGonagall.

Lily nudged Severus in the ribs and whispered in his ear. 'What makes you think Hufflepuff will win though?'

'Because Rosier is on the team with Avery and Mulciber,' Severus whispered back. 'And they're currently not seeing eye to eye, at all.'

The whistle was blown and the game began. Frank was circling above them in search for the snitch, but all Severus had eyes for was the interaction between Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery.

It didn't take a genius to see that Mulciber and Avery were deliberately trying to give Rosier a hard time. If they were willing to sabotage the game, Severus knew that the problems between them had to be serious.

'Do you know what's going on down there?' Frank yelled from above.

'I'm not quite sure,' Severus yelled back. To make matters worse, a cloud had burst and it suddenly started to pour.

Severus quickly applied an Impervius charm on him and Lily by tapping on his and her robes, and saw McGonagall take note and do the same thing to her robes and glasses. At least it would keep them somewhat dry from the rain.

'Just keep looking for the snitch,' Severus reassured him. 'I think they have some personal quarrels.'

McGonagall was now standing up and looking over the railing, clasping her hand over her mouth looking horrified, as Mulciber and Avery were trying to send bludgers in Rosier's direction.

Vanity quickly came to aid Rosier to beat the bludgers away and a time-out was being called.

'I've been worried about Mister Rosier since Christmas,' said McGonagall. 'Do you know any more about his situation, Mister Snape?'

'Headmaster Dumbledore knows more, Professor,' Severus said. 'And I think Professor Slughorn does too.'

Avery and Mulciber were dragged to the sideline and were most likely suspended from playing quidditch any further.

Frank, who was now arguing unmistakably with the referee, dropped his broom to the ground.

'What's Frank doing?' Asked Lily.

'Hufflepuff nobility,' Severus said with a sigh. 'He probably demanded a rematch as playing without two beaters on the opposite team would be unfair.'

'What an idiot,' Lily said dryly.

Through the hassle of Frank's tantrum, Severus had lost sight of Mulciber and Avery, who seemed to have disappeared entirely. Quickly he spotted Rosier on the ground, making sure that at least he was safe, and started thinking about all the possible places the two boys could've ran off to.

Unfortunately, Severus didn't have the chance to sneak away unnoticed, as the whole crowd stood up and made their way back to the castle. Frank had gotten his way.

'If you see either Mulciber or Avery, please let me know,' he said to Lily as they walked quickly back to the castle. 'They just vanished and I don't trust it one bit.'

'I'd be more concerned why they'd be after Rosier as opposed to where they are,'said Lily.

'It's because they know,' Rosier said from behind them. Rosier looked around to make sure he wasn't being overheard. 'They know I'm not supporting the Dark Lord and my parents know now, too.'

'Did you speak with Professor Slughorn?' Severus asked him.

'I did,' said Rosier. 'I even got a room near his office from him. And you were right, he's a bit gullible, but I know now that I can trust him.'

'Rosier,' Lily said carefully. 'Why would Avery and Mulciber sabotage their own quidditch game to come after you?'

'I don't think they care much for quidditch anymore, to be honest,' Rosier said with a hint of disappointment. 'Right now I think they're just trying to break me.'

Through the rain it was still obvious that Rosier's eyes were turning red. 'I just wish I didn't have to be so scared all the time.'

Lily stopped abruptly and pulled Rosier into a tight embrace. 'You've got friends, Evan,' she said. 'As long as you have that, you'll never be alone.'

'Thanks Ev—Lily,' he said back as he returned her embrace. 'I know I'm never alone.'

'I'll see you both on Sunday alright?' Rosier said as they pulled apart. 'There's something that I think I could teach the group.'

Rosier ran off after he saw a furious looking Vanity among the crowd.

'What does Rosier have in store for us?' Lily asked Severus as they entered the central hall.

'You'll see,' Severus said with a grin. 'Are you still dry?'

Lily touched her robes and nodded. 'Your spell has worked.'

Lily spent the rest of the afternoon with Alice and Mary. Severus however, had been looking all over the castle for Avery and Mulciber, but he quickly came to the understanding that the two boys must have never returned to the castle after the match.

'Looks like neither of us won the bet, Mister Snape,' McGonagall said as she approached Severus at the Gryffindor table. 'You seem worried about something.'

McGonagall was peaking over her square glasses in a serious manner and Severus knew it was best to answer her truthfully.

'I can't find Avery and Mulciber anywhere,' he said. 'I think they must've ran off after the match and they haven't returned to the castle.'

McGonagall's face fell. 'Are you implying that two students have gone missing?'

'I'm afraid so.'

Without missing a beat, McGonagall stood up and called for the other teachers to start a search party.

Dinner was about to start and Severus saw Lily walk in a moment after Professor McGonagall had walked away.

'No astronomy tonight,' said Lily happily. 'But that's not going to stop us from going up to the tower is it?'

'I didn't steal Vernon's cigarettes just to hide them in my pocket, did I?' Severus said mischievously.

'Good,' replied Lily. 'Because I already brought a jar to put some flames in so we can stay warm.'

Severus and Lily quickly ate their dinner, causing Mary and Alice to stare at them in disbelief, and then ran off towards the astronomy tower as quickly as they could.

The rain was clattering all around them, but as long as they sat in the center of the tower, they remained dry.

They both laid down on their backs and looked up at the ceiling of the tower, the fire in the jar crackling softly.

Severus handed Lily a cigarette and they lit them with a flick of their fingers.

'I'm a bit worried about Rosier,' said Severus.

'As am I,' Lily admitted. 'He's been acting rather strange lately.'

'What do you mean by strange?'

'It's a bit difficult to explain,' Lily started. 'It's not just that he's obviously being bullied, but he's being so…dreamy lately. As if he's got his head stuck in the clouds.'

'Maybe he's in love,' Severus said with a shrug. 'Probably with Vanity, as they're always sticking together.'

Lily looked at Severus with a raised eyebrow. 'And what would you know about being in love?' She said teasingly. 'Have you ever been in love?'

'Not that I can recall,' he lied. 'Have you?'

'I kissed Remus once back in third year,' she stated matter-of-factly. 'I thought I liked him and he me, but we quickly came to the realisation that we make much better friends.'

Severus nearly choked on the smoke he had just inhaled. 'You once…kissed…Lupin?' He said teary eyed.

'Only once,' Lily shrugged. 'Not that big of a deal really.'

'And you never told me,' Severus said in disbelief. The rational part of him knew he had nothing to fear when it came to Lupin, but he couldn't help but feel jealous over the fact that he got to kiss Lily for the first time, and an accidental slip-up with the Wolfsbane potion seemed rather tempting all of a sudden.

'You're not choking are you?' Lily asked in concern.

'I'm fine, I'm fine,' Severus said as he got his breath back. 'Just surprised is all.'

'Sorry I never told you,' Lily said to answer his question. 'You hated the marauders so much back then, I knew it would only hurt you if I had.'

'You're right about that,' Severus admitted. 'And I still can't stand them, but I can't hold it against you.'

They smoked their cigarettes without exchanging a word. Severus looked at Lily as she was staring at the ceiling and wished for once he had been in Lupin's shoes.


	49. The New Members of the Young Order

On Saturday, Mulciber and Avery had been found in the forbidden forest and were, to put it in their words, lost. Severus knew better of course and was hoping to corner one of them by next week to perform legilimency properly in order to find out what really happened inside that forest. Either way, the fact that the two boys cared more about running off and sabotaging Rosier than a quidditch match, meant something very serious was going on.

By Sunday, Severus and Lily were already waiting outside the Room of Requirement for the rest of the group to arrive by the time Frank and Alice arrived. Followed by Mary and Lupin soon afterwards, and to Severus' annoyance, Potter.

Lily however, seemed happy at Potter's arrival. 'I'm glad you decided to come,' she said sincerely.

'And I'm glad you convinced me to do so,' said Potter. 'But I want to see what the fuss is all about first.'

Severus looked over at Lily, who took no notice, and narrowed his eyes. Secretly he had hoped that Potter wouldn't be interested, but of course, Lily wanted as many new members as possible.

'You're not going to regret it,' Lupin said to Potter. 'I'm sure of it.'

Lupin was looking more exhausted than ever, as did Potter. Then, Severus recalled that it had been a full moon only the night before.

Frank had opened the door to let everyone in. In the distance, Severus could see Rosier running up to them with someone following him.

Severus grabbed Lily by the sleeve to stop her from entering the room. 'Look who Rosier brought with him,' he said in surprise.

Regulus Black was following Rosier closely behind him and was looking at the door that had appeared in the wall with astonishment.

'I found a new member,' Rosier said proudly to Severus.

'I'd like to speak with Black alone for a moment before he comes in,' Severus said in a serious manner. Both Lily and Rosier took it as a sign to get inside and close the door behind them.

'I knew you'd be reluctant to let me in,' Black said.

'What made you change your mind?' Severus asked, his arms folded as if to prevent Black from entering the room.

'After I saw what Mulciber and Avery did to you and Rosier,' Black said, mimicking Severus's posture.

Severus looked sharply into Black's gray eyes. 'You know something, don't you?' Severus said darkly.

'What makes you say that?' Black snapped back, but it was obvious by his shifting eyes that he couldn't uphold the lie.

Severus remembered the day well when Regulus Black was found dead near a cave and the rage the Dark Lord had when he found out what had happened. Severus even recalled asking the Dark Lord why exactly Regulus had disobeyed orders, but he never got an answer.

'Just answer the question,' Severus said calmly.

'I do know something,' Black said in defeat.

Severus was tempted to use legilimency on Black to find out, but without knowing what exactly it is he was looking for, performing legilimency takes far too long to go unnoticed.

'I need to learn to defend myself,' Black added.

'To what extent are you acquainted with the Dark Lord?' Severus said, still suspicious of Black's motives.

'Too much,' Black admitted. 'I just do it to make my family hap—'

'—Get in,' Severus interrupted him, and shoved Black through the door to the Room of Requirement.

'I'm keeping an eye on you,' Severus said in a low voice. 'Because I don't trust your motives one bit. Understand?'

Black swallowed hard at Severus's dominant stance. 'I understand,' he nearly whimpered.

'Come on in!' Frank said to Black and Severus. To make Severus' frustrations even worse, Potter had decided to sit down beside Lily, taking his usual spot. Severus half-dragged Black with him to sit beside Rosier on the other side.

'The last time we were all together was before Christmas,' Frank started. 'And it's good to see everyone again including two new people who may become new members of the group.'

Black and Potter waved at the rest of the group.

'Both Evan Rosier here and Lily Evans have come up to me about something they would like to introduce to the group,' Frank continued, 'but first I think it's a good idea to repeat the things we learned before Christmas break.'

Frank put Black and Potter together to instruct them personally, and Severus found his chance to team up with Lily.

'You still think it's a good idea to introduce sign language to the group?' Severus asked Lily.

'Only things that could be potentially useful in combat,' Lily answered as she readied herself with her wand.

'Such as?'

'The alphabet,' Lily said as she threw a hex at Severus, which he easily blocked by a voiceless shield charm. 'And signs that indicate safety, and when to run and such. And creating signs for specific spells…'

'Good idea,' Severus said as he made a pillow flying at her, which she easily transformed into a bird by yelling 'Avifors!'

It was clear that Potter was already familiar with the spells, and soon took over Frank's role of teaching him and Black, leaving Frank to roam the room freely again.

'I'm thinking about introducing Carpe Retractum today,' Frank said to Severus as Severus vanished the bird Lily had transformed.

'Only if everybody knows how to use Diffindo,' Severus suggested. 'It may be wise for people to know how to escape from ropes before they are tied up.'

For a split second Severus thought about suggesting Sectumsempra, but quickly realised that, although a much sharper type of spell, it probably wasn't a very safe thing to do and would also raise suspicion.

Frank closed his eyes in a thinking manner and opened them again. 'Good point mate,' he said. 'Let's work on that first.'

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Show off,' she said teasingly.

'You're calling me a show off while Potter is still in the room?' Severus said irritated while nodding his head towards Potter.

'Fair enough,' said Lily.

After Frank was satisfied enough with everyone's results and Black showing remarkable progress in such a short time, they all sat back in the circle and Frank gave the word to Lily.

Lily's cheeks were starting to grow red as she stood in front of the group. 'There's uhm...there's something that I wanted to suggest to the group that I think could be useful if we ever do end up in a real combat situation,' she said while fumbling with her hands. 'And it's something that Sev and his mother have taught me.'

Lily drew a deep breath to gain her confidence. 'As all of you know,' she said while raising her voice, 'Sev's mother passed away at the end of the year, but what most of you don't know is that Eileen, that was her name, was deaf.'

Everyone in the group took a quick glance at Severus, as if they suddenly expected him to start speaking in sign language.

'So what I want to suggest is that I, and Sev too, if he's willing to help me out here,' Lily said while giving Severus the eye, 'teach basic sign language that we could potentially use in combat to communicate.'

'That sounds brilliant!' Rosier said excitedly. 'When do we start?'

'Next week if possible,' Lily said, happy at seeing everyone excited about the idea. 'Which also means that we're going to have to spend more time here. Especially if we also add your idea to the equation, Evan.'

'Just out of curiosity,' Mary began, 'how come you know sign language when it's Severus's mum that was deaf?'

'Because I taught her.' It was Severus who answered. 'Once she found out my mother was deaf she forced me to spend hours upon hours with her by the riverside to teach her how to sign.'

Lily couldn't help but smile at Severus's comment. 'Pff, you enjoyed spending all those hours by the riverside teaching me,' she said with a chuckle.

'Now that's devotion,' Potter said admirably.

'Would you like to tell us what you can teach us, Evan?' Lily asked.

Rosier nodded and stood up to take Lily's place in the circle. 'I don't think it's that much of a secret anymore that I am resisting the Dark Lord's regime,' Rosier said while fumbling with his wand. 'And Headmaster Dumbledore has taken me under protection and taught me something that I think could benefit us all.'

Everyone in the room was looking at Rosier intently.

'Is everyone familiar with legilimency?' Rosier asked the group.

'It's something like mind reading right?' Potter responded. 'I think I heard my father mention it once in passing.'

'Well, close,' Rosier said, 'but not entirely. Legilimency is more the act of navigating magically through the many layers of someone's mind and correctly interpret one's findings, to quote Headmaster Dumbledore on what he told me.'

'Sounds an awful lot like mind reading to me,' said Lily.

'Maybe Severus could explain it a little better, I mean he can—'

Severus cut Rosier off by waving his hand in a cutthroat manner. Fortunately, Lily didn't seem to notice.

'—knows about it I mean,' Rosier corrected himself just in time.

'Legilimency basically is how Evan described it, but it's not what you want to teach us, is it?'

'You're right Severus, what I actually want to teach you all is a thing called Occlumency, which is a way to protect your mind in case someone tries to invade it through the means of Legilimency.'

'Why is it so important for us to learn how to do this though?' asked Potter. 'I mean, this Legilimency thing sounds about as vague as Divination.'

'Because the Dark Lord can do it,' Rosier said in a serious manner. 'I know that for a fact. As did the great Salazar Slytherin himself.'

'As does cousin Bella,' Black said darkly. 'She's actually done it a couple times to me. Usually I can tell when she's prodding in my mind but…sometimes she can be very sneaky.'

Lily shuddered at the thought of it. 'So basically nothing can be kept private?'

'No,' Rosier said. 'And that's why I think it's important to learn Occlumency. But in order to learn how to do that, we need someone who can perform Legilimency too.'

Rosier was looking at Severus, pleading, in a way, for Severus to help him out with the situation.

All Severus could do was nod in agreement for now. He wanted to explain to Lily first as to why he could do Legilimency without her getting angry.

'Who will be able to do that?' Alice asked Rosier.

'Just leave it to me,' he answered with a twinkle in his eye. 'For now, I just need all of your approval.'

Everyone nodded in agreement and Frank took Rosier's place. 'To conclude everything before we return to our dormitories, next week Sunday after breakfast, introducing two new things to practice aside from my defense lessons, with two new people on the team?'

'I'm in!' Potter said enthusiastically.

'As am I,' said Black. 'Even if it is just to keep cousin Bella out of my mind.'

'Then I would like to ask Severus, Evan, and Regulus to stay behind for a moment while everyone else leaves,' Frank stated.

Severus looked at Frank in confusion. 'Something important you've got to share with us?

'I'll see you at the lab, okay?' Lily said to Severus as she left with the rest of the group.

'Just a few questions is all,' said Frank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Avifors transforms a target into a bird, and was only mentioned in the videogames. It's probably inspired by the spell 'avis', which we all know Hermione used to conjure a bunch of birds and attacked Ron with it.  
> A/N Carpe Retractum, a spell that casts a rope from a wand, is (I believe) also only used in the videogames.


	50. The Memory of Hepzibah's House-elf

Once everyone had left, the three Slytherins stood looking at Frank, ready for whatever it was that he was about to say.

'Next Saturday is a Hogsmeade weekend,' Frank said. 'I wanted to ask if the three of you wanted to come and hang out with me.'

'From one seeker to another Longbottom,' said Black, 'going on a date with you is the last thing I had on my mind.'

Frank's ears turned a little red at Black's remark. 'Good thing I already have a girlfriend then, but on a more serious note, please save me from having to spend the whole afternoon with those girls.' Frank's eyes were growing in a pleading manner. 'I mean, I love them all but having to spend one more trip to Hogsmeade with them will drive me crazy.'

'I'm in,' said Rosier. 'I hear your problem. Emma and her girlfriends do the exact same thing to me.'

'As am I,' said Severus. 'and I don't plans with Lily either.'

'I'll join you guys,' said Black, 'but also because I can tell there's more than just hanging out involved.'

'I'll admit there are some things I'd like to talk about,' Frank admitted. 'But it can wait 'till then.'

All four of them stepped outside and Severus waited until Rosier and Black had turned around the corner. 'Care to tell me what's going on?' Severus asked.

'I trust you, Severus,' said Frank, 'but I still have my doubts about those two, especially Black.'

'So you want to observe and question them in Hogsmeade?'

'Exactly.'

'And I suppose you'd want my help?'

'That too.'

'You're a smart man, Longbottom,' Severus said with a grin. 'I've got to give you that.'

'See you later mate,' said Frank with a pat on Severus' shoulder. 'I'm supposed to meet up with Alice in the library.'

The two men went their separate ways as Severus headed for the lab in the dungeons.

Lily was busy putting Invigorating Draughts in bottles when Severus entered.

'So, what did Frank want from you?' Lily asked with curiosity.

'Basically, man time,' said Severus. 'He asked us to spend the next Hogsmeade day with him.'

Lily had to smile at the thought of that. 'That's good to hear, Sev,' she said. 'Kind of funny how Regulus decided to join all of a sudden,' Lily added. 'Isn't that a bit suspicious?'

'That's what Frank thought as well,' Severus answered as he went to work on the Wolfsbane potion. 'Hence why we are going to observe him that day.'

'Smart thinking Sev.'

'It was Frank's idea actually.'

'Smart thinking Frank.'

'Lily,' Severus started off with difficulty, 'there's something that I need to tell you.'

Lily knew from his tone of voice that it had to be a serious matter. 'Feel free to tell me whatever it is Sev, I will listen.'

Severus drew a deep breath and started talking. 'The reason why Evan said he can arrange something about learning how to use Occlumency, is because I'm the one that knows how to use Legilimency.'

Lily nearly dropped a phial on a floor. 'How did you—'

'—I learned how to do it during that time in which I got too much involved in the Dark Arts, Lily,' Severus cut her off sharply. 'I'm sorry, but I figured you should know the truth.'

Lily's eyes had turned into saucers and her mouth was hanging open. 'Who taught you—'

'—Books. You'd be surprised how much information there is in the library that would be better off not being there.'

It was a lie. It had been the Dark Lord who had taught him Legilimency and it had been Dumbledore who had taught him Occlumency.

Lily took a moment to process what Severus had just told her and her look of surprise had turned into a frown. 'Have you ever looked inside my mind?' She asked rather sourly.

'Never,' Severus said without taking his eyes of hers. 'I promise.'

Lily seemed to contemplate his answer for a moment, but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

'Why would you want to look inside someone's mind anyway?' She said with a hint of disgust.

'Good question,' said Severus. 'Why anyone would want to look inside the mind of a teenager is beyond me. It's disgusting.'

'You could've thought of that before you taught yourself how to prod inside people's minds,' Lily said while pulling a very Petunia-like face.

'As I've said once before,' said Severus, 'I cannot unlearn what I have already learned. And besides, I can now actually put it to good use and teach people how to shield themselves from it.'

Lily still didn't look too happy, but at least Severus' statement wasn't something she could argue with.

'Are you going to see Dumbledore again tomorrow?' Lily asked.

'I am,' Severus answered as he stirred his cauldron.

'Good,' Lily said. 'I don't know how Dumbledore is helping you out, but I'm glad you've got a place to go.

…

Dumbledore was already rummaging through his collection of memories when Severus walked into the office.

'Are you ready to see another memory I have acquired, Severus?' Dumbledore asked.

Severus nodded. 'I'm ready.'

'This particular memory I manage to receive from a house-elf named Hokey,' Dumbledore said as he poured the memory into the pensieve. 'And as you may notice throughout the memory, the locket you saw in Mister Ogden's memory returns in this particular one.'

Together they dove into the memory, and landed inside a sitting room in front of an immensely fat lady wearing a ginger wig and a bright pink set of robes, making her look like a melting iced cake.

'That's Hepzibah Smith,' Dumbledore told Severus as they looked at her readying herself for someone's arrival.

A doorbell rang and the house-elf, whom Severus assumed had to be Hokey, was ushered to open the door.

Severus looked around the room. It was filled to the brim with gold-embossed and other extravagant objects, making the room look like a cross between a magical antique shop and a conservatory.

A young and tall man had entered the room and, although he didn't look anything like his old self, Severus knew it had to be the Dark Lord.

'I brought you flowers,' he said, conjuring a bouquet of roses out of nowhere for Miss Smith.

'You naughty boy, you shouldn't have!' Smith squealed, but the empty vase beside her betrayed that she had already expected him to bring flowers.

'Smith was murdered, wasn't she?' Severus asked Dumbledore as a sugar-coated conversation went on between her and the Dark Lord.

'She was. Two days after Voldemort, or Mister Riddle here I should say, came to visit her,' Dumbledore said gravely. 'Everyone suspected that the house-elf had done it. Poison in her cocoa you see. It's always easy to blame creatures we consider below ourselves.'

'Here, madam,' squeaked Hokey as she placed two leather boxes in Smith's hands on top of each other.

'Now,' said Smith, 'I think you'll like this, Tom…'

It was obvious that the Dark Lord was intrigued by what she was about to show him.

Smith revealed a shining golden cup from the box that was lying on top. A badger was neatly engraved into it.

'A badger,' murmured the Dark Lord. 'Then this was…?'

'Helga Hufflepuff's, as you very well know, you clever boy!' Smith said as she pinched his hollow cheek. 'Didn't I tell you I was distantly descended? This has been handed down in the family for years and years. Lovely, isn't it? And all sorts of powers it's supposed to posses, too, but I haven't tested them thoroughly, I just keep it nice and safe in here…'

She grabbed the cup from the Dark Lord's hands and handed it back to Hokey. 'I think you'll like this even more, Tom,' she whispered. 'Lean in a little, dear boy, so you can see…of course, Burke knows I've got this one, I bought it from him and I daresay he'd love to get it back when I'm gone…'

Severus knew she was about to reveal the locket. The Dark Lord looked at it with even more greed in his eyes than he had when he held Hufflepuff's cup.

It took a while before the Dark Lord handed it back over and Smith immediately ordered Hokey to lock both relics up.

'It's time to leave, Severus,' Dumbledore said quietly and together they stepped out of the memory and back into the office.

'He's after relics or valuable artifacts,' Severus said. 'But why?'

'That is exactly what I am trying to find out,' said Dumbledore. 'And the only connection I made is that both the ring and the locket are things he considers as his rightful inheritance, being a descendant of both the Gaunt family and Salazar Slytherin.'

'That still wouldn't explain his fascination for Hufflepuff's cup though,' Severus said. 'Unless he wants it for the potential power it possesses.'

'I wish I knew what power that could be,'said Dumbledore. 'But since it came from Helga Hufflepuff herself, it was probably related to food.'

'Do you have a lead regarding the ring, Headmaster?' Severus asked.

Dumbledore looked Severus sharply in the eye. 'I know you want to come with me Severus, but I am afraid I must decline.'

'Why is that?' Severus sneered. 'Why is it you cannot trust me to come with you?'

'Because you are underage and I cannot live with myself if something would happen to you,' Dumbledore snapped back in a manner that was very unlike himself.

'My students safety matters more to me than anything else,' Dumbledore added quietly.

Severus knew better than to argue, but couldn't help but feel frustrated that Dumbledore never seemed to care about any of that when he took Potter's spawn out on missions. Then again, the boy had known so much more than Severus ever had and he had been bound to die, too.

'I know you have promised me before, Albus,' Severus said darkly, 'but I need you to promise me this again.'

Dumbledore looked at him observingly, knowing that being called by his first name meant the adult within Severus was speaking. 'Do not put that ring on your finger once you find it.'

'I promise,' Dumbledore said sincerely. 'You have my word.'

Severus felt the rage that had been growing inside of him subside. 'I also need you to promise me that once I do come of age,' Severus said in a much calmer voice, 'that you take me with you in search of whatever it is that we need to find.'

Dumbledore looked at him a little sadly. 'Once again, you have my word.'

'Whether it be my previous life or this one, Albus,' Severus said, 'I will always have my part in this war and this war will always be a part of me.'


	51. The Dark Mark Hangs Low over Hogsmeade

It wasn't until the morning of the Hogsmeade visit, that Severus had managed to corner Mulciber and perform a quick Legilimency spell on him.

Severus' suspicion had been confirmed. Both Mulciber and Avery had run off into the forbidden forest, but they certainly hadn't been lost when they were found by the teachers.

Malfoy had been there, obviously, waiting in order to speak with them. A thing he had so often done with Severus in his previous life. Regardless, it was clear that Mulciber and Avery were no longer interested in pursuing an academic career. They were persuaded by Malfoy to at least pass their O.W.L.s before joining the Dark Lord. Just like Malfoy had done to him, too.

There was much more to the conversation between Malfoy, Mulciber, and Avery. However, Severus had to let it go for now, as he was supposed to meet with Frank, Rosier, and Black to head into Hogsmeade together.

Soft snow was gently falling on the grounds as the four men made their way towards the village. The conversation quickly turned to quidditch, to Severus's annoyance, as he realised that he wasn't just spending the day with friends, but also three quidditch players.

'The re-match is going to be held on the thirtieth,' said Frank.

'When did you find that out?' Regulus asked in disbelief.

'I asked the referee during practice yesterday,' Frank responded. 'She'll probably tell you once you have your next practice session.'

'The next session consists of us looking for new beaters,' Evan said with a groan. 'I mean, Mulciber and Avery deserved to get kicked off the team, but training with new beaters on such a short notice is a huge disadvantage. Either way, I still think it was an honorable thing you did by asking for a re-match, Frank.'

'Thanks,' said Frank, turning slightly red in face. 'I just like to play it fair is all.'

'You're still not going to stand a chance,' Regulus said confidently.

'Badgers still chew on snakes,' said Frank. 'Having a better broom doesn't make you a better player.'

'Oh badgers chew on snakes alright,' Regulus said mockingly, causing both Severus and Evan to snicker.

'Very funny,' said Frank flatly. 'Either way I'm looking forward to the rematch.'

The fact that Frank had mentioned the thirtieth made Severus realise that today was the perfect opportunity to find Lily a birthday gift. 'Do any of you need to get anything in particular from town?' Severus asked. 'All I need is a gift for Lily's birthday.'

Frank and Regulus both shook their heads. 'I just need some new ink bottles,' said Evan. 'I've been writing a lot in my diary lately.'

'So Frank,' Regulus started, 'why exactly did you want to spend the day with three Slytherins?'

'I see you are suspicious,' Frank answered, 'and I suppose you have every right to be.'

Regulus shot Frank a confused look. 'And here I was thinking you just wanted to tell us you got your girlfriend knocked-up or something.'

'Ehm…no that's definitely not it,' Frank said while his face turned an alarming shade of red. 'I'm quite sure Alice isn't pregnant. But what I meant to say was, you probably find it odd that I, a Hufflepuff, am spending time with three Slytherins.'

'I suppose it is a bit suspicious,' said Evan. 'Especially now with the war on the rise. Everybody seems to be avoiding Slytherins as much as possible.'

'I did want to question all three of you,' said Frank, taking an impressive stance with his oddly large posture for a seeker, 'not for being Slytherins, but because all three of you have changed your minds about joining the other side.'

Severus had been so focused on Frank, he had only just noticed that they were standing in front of the Shrieking Shack, and an icy cold shock ran down his spine at the sight of it, causing him to shiver.

'You alright there, Severus?' Frank asked with concern.

'I'm not sure,' Severus said weakly, feeling his knees giving out.

There were so many bad memories attached to the Shack, it felt as if they all started to pour out of him from the depths of his mind at the sight of it. The first time, he was lured into it and nearly got bitten by Lupin. The second time, when he was blasted unconscious after finding Black and Pettigrew. The third time, when he died.

Frank observed him for a few seconds and quickly came to a conclusion and knew what was happening. 'Could the two of you wait out here?' Frank said to Evan and Regulus.

Frank was just in time to catch Severus before he slumped to the ground. Frank's athletic strength came to good use, as he was able to easily lift Severus up in a fireman's carry and to bring him to a more private place, leaving two perplexed looking Slytherins behind.

Once Frank knew they were out of sight behind a wall he put Severus down, who immediately slumped down to his knees, shaking uncontrollably.

'It's not something I said, was it?' Frank asked with concern as he took off his cloak and threw it over Severus' shoulders.

Severus shook his head, pulling Frank's cloak around him as tightly as he could.

'Need me to take you back to the castle?'

'No, just give it some time,' Severus said between gasps of breath, 'I'll be fine.'

'You look anything but fine mate,' Frank said as he knelt down and met Severus eye to eye. 'Please don't pull your hair like that.'

Severus hadn't even realised that he had put his hands in his hair and tried with all his might to focus on his breathing. He looked into Frank's eyes, but noticed that Frank's eyes weren't looking back at his.

A rumbling in the distance, that sounded vaguely like thunder, started to darken the sky. Severus kept looking at Frank. He had never seen such fear in Frank's eyes before and knew instantly that whatever it was that Frank was looking at, it was alarming and dangerous.

'What is it you see, Frank?' Severus asked with a shivering voice.

'The dark mark,' Frank answered so softly it was almost inaudible. 'His mark.'

It was as if something inside Severus snapped, causing him to throw off Frank's cloak and run straight towards the village. Frank, swirling his cloak back on, followed closely behind.

A large skull with a snake coming out of its mouth was illuminating the darkened sky. If it wasn't for the horrible message that came with it, it would've seemed like northern lights had started to shine.

Evan and Regulus must have already made their way to the village, as they were no longer waiting by the Shrieking Shack.

'They only do this when there has been an attack,' Severus yelled to Frank as they were still running. 'Go that way,' Severus said as he pointed at a street on the right side of the town, 'and try to find the rest of the Young Order.' Frank didn't need to be told twice and rushed off in search of the rest of their group.

Panicking students were grouping together and rushing off towards the castle. Severus could sense that Frank had rushed off towards the music shop first, as that was the place most of the Young Order liked to spend their time in Hogsmeade.

Malfoy had to be here, somewhere. Severus could sense that this was his dramatic wrongdoing and he cursed himself for not prodding through Mulciber's mind a bit longer. Perhaps all of this could've been avoided.

When he turned a corner and knew it was safe enough not to be seen, he took the risk to send a patronus off to Dumbledore. The silver doe erupted from the tip of his wand and sped off baring the message of the attack with his suspicion on who was to be held responsible.

Then, near the tracks, Severus heard the unmistakable sound of a duel.

'Put me down you slippery ferret!' It was Regulus's voice that was yelling. From behind the wall where Severus was hiding, he could see Regulus dangling upside down by his ankle in the air.

'Tut tut,' Malfoy said calmly. 'You've got quite a mouth on you Mister Black.'

'Just leave him alone!' Regulus yelled, swaying his arms in a fit of rage.

Then, Severus saw him. It was only a faint outline, but it was Evan, lying unconscious (or so Severus hoped), on the ground.

'Looking for something, little boy?' A cold girly voice said from behind him. In a split second, Severus threw up his Occlumency shields and cast a non-verbal shield charm to be protected from whoever was standing behind him.

There, looking entirely unimpressed, was Bellatrix Black leaning against the wall, twirling her wand between her fingers.

Severus straightened his back and lowered his wand. 'What brings you here, Bella?' Severus said, lowering his voice.

Bellatrix pointed with her eyes at Malfoy, who was still holding Regulus up in the air, questioning him.

'How do you know who I am?' Bellatrix asked in a tone that was more annoyed than surprised.

'How can I not know about the greatest of the Black sisters,' said Severus slickly. 'You are one remarkably devoted witch.'

'I was sent here on a mission by the Dark Lord himself,' said Bellatrix proudly, taking Severus' words as a compliment.

'Any mission where you get attached to that sleek haired idiot isn't something I'd be proud off,' Severus said boldly.

Bellatrix's air of confidence fell a bit into the shadows as she rolled her eyes. 'Alright then,' she said, 'Malfoy made a stupid mistake and I have to help him fix it.'

'And what exactly does Rosier and your cousin have to do with that?' Asked Severus, his voice growing dark.

Bellatrix seemed reluctant to share any more information, but she did it anyway. 'That Rosier boy received something Malfoy wants back,' she admitted. 'And as for little Reggie, I just prefer to stay out of family's business.'

Severus was hoping that Dumbledore had received the message and was already on his way.

'What is it Rosier has?' Severus demanded.

'I'm not telling you!' Bellatrix cackled. 'That's between Malfoy and the Dark Lord himself.'

Severus had to find a way to get rid of her and reach Evan and Regulus. He could no longer hear Regulus's feeble attempts at trying to escape and he got the feeling that Regulus was slowly losing consciousness from hanging upside down the entire time.

The answer came right around the corner though, as a quick 'stupify' brought the inattentive Bellatrix to slump to the ground, unconscious.

Frank, along with the rest of the Young Order, had come to the rescue. Unfortunately, it meant that Malfoy had also taken notice and dropped Regulus on the snowy ground after he lost his focus.

It was Lily who quickly cast 'Everte Statum' at Malfoy, who got blasted backwards into the snow. 'Now!' she yelled and Frank ran up to Evan while Mary and Alice ran up to Regulus.

Lily and Severus ran up to Malfoy, who was trying to push himself back on his feet. 'Carpe Retractum!' Lily yelled, but Malfoy waved it off with a flick of his wand.

Without looking at Severus, Malfoy ran up to Bellatrix. Severus was just in time to cast a Colloshoo hex at Malfoy, causing him to trip, but still he managed to put his outstretched hand around Bellatrix's ankle, and disapparated from sight.


	52. A Visit from the Ministry

'Fuck!' Severus yelled angrily.

'No time to worry about this now, Sev,' Lily said as she pulled him towards Evan and Regulus.

'Evan's breathing!' Frank said with relief as he conjured a stretcher out of thin air. He carefully levitated Evan onto the stretcher and let it hoover in front of him.

'I'm fine too,' Regulus said weakly. 'I think.' Regulus was being supported by Alice and Mary and was trying hard to remain conscious.

'You probably have a concussion,' said Lily. 'Try to stay awake Regulus. It's important you do that.'

A little ball of light was hovering above the group. 'It's a Revelio spell,' said Severus. 'Dumbledore must be coming.'

As predicted, Dumbledore had come running around the corner, followed by an arsenal of teachers, many of whom Severus knew were members of the Order.

'A patr—' Dumbledore started, but Severus immediately cut him off with a raise of his hand.

'Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Black were just here,' said Severus. 'Either one of them could've conjured the dark mark.'

Dumbledore shook his head in disbelief as he looked up to the dark mark, slowly growing fainter in the night sky. 'Will Mister Rosier and Mister Black be alright?' He asked with concern.

McGonagall, who was checking up on Evan with great care, said 'Mister Rosier needs immediate medical attention. I shall take him to the hospital wing.'

'Ladies,' McGonagall said to Alice and Mary, 'could you please follow me back to the castle, while supporting Mister Black?'

They both nodded in agreement and followed McGonagall, Regulus supported under both arms, leaving the scene of the crime.

'Teachers,' said Dumbledore, 'I need you to take these students back to the castle. Make sure all students are counted before they are sent off to their dormitories and put up extra protective wards where necessary.'

The group of teachers obeyed without question and the remaining members of the Young Order were ushered to follow them.

Severus was about to follow the rest when Dumbledore stopped him. 'I need you to stay here, Mister Snape,' said Dumbledore. 'Officials from the ministry will be arriving soon.'

Lily saw what was happening and walked away from the group. 'If Severus stays, then I'm staying too,' she stated.

'Are you sure, Evans?' Potter said with concern. 'It could still be dangerous out there.'

'Pretty sure I just proved that I can defend myself just fine, Potter,' Lily sneered back.

Severus couldn't help but grin at Lily's snappishness towards Potter.

Once the teachers and the Young Order were gone, it was the owner of the Hog's Head who was the first of the inhabitants of Hogsmeade to step outside and check whether the coast was clear.

'Aberforth,' Dumbledore said flatly, 'Would you mind if we waited for the ministry's officials to arrive at your inn?'

The man named Aberforth did not respond, but merely nodded as if to say that they should just hurry up and get inside.

Severus knew Aberforth was Dumbledore's brother. In fact, he knew that Aberforth played an important role in keeping many students safe and fed during the short time that Severus was headmaster of Hogwarts.

Aberforth, known to be a man of very few words, grabbed four dusty old butterbeers from behind the counter and handed them out as Dumbledore, Severus, and Lily sat on the barstools in front of him.

'I hope you don't mind me staying here with all of you, Headmaster,' Lily said carefully.

'I do not believe I had much of a choice on that matter, Miss Evans,' Dumbledore answered with a twinkle in his eye.

'Thank you, Headmaster,' said Lily, 'and I hope you don't mind me asking this but…are you and Mister—'

'—It's Aberforth, young lady,' Aberforth interrupted. 'And yes, Albus and I are brothers.'

'I figured,' Lily said, still trying to break the tension that was lingering in the air. 'You look very similar…'

Both brothers nodded in a "yes we know" manner. 'Care to tell me what happened, Albus?' Aberforth asked.

'I think Severus here could tell us more, if he wants to,' said Dumbledore, looking at Severus beside him.

Severus was sitting with his hands folded around his butterbeer, contemplating whether he wanted to drink it or not.

The unmistakable sound of apparition outside put Severus on hold when he wanted to start talking. Dumbledore stood up and pointed at the remaining barstools to the people who had just come in.

A lady Severus did not recognize walked in, followed by Alastor (not-yet-mad-eye) Moody, and a grim looking Bartemius Crouch.

'Butterbeer or something stronger?' Aberforth asked the people who just walked in.

'I'll have a butterbeer,' said the young lady who had introduced herself as Marlene Mckinnon.

'Nothing for me, thank you,' said Moody. 'I got to keep a sharp wit on me at all times.' Severus had to get used to Moody still having both his normal eyes, and all of his limbs for the matter, as Moody sat down beside him.

'A firewhisky, please,' said Crouch. 'Make it double.'

'The dark mark has been sighted more frequently than ever,' said McKinnon sadly. 'Most muggles just interpret it as the northern lights though, but even they are noticing something fishy is going on in both our worlds.'

'Mrs. McKinnon,' said Lily, 'do you know whether the dark mark is always cast when blood has been spilled? I mean, I don't think anyone died today…'

McKinnon took a sip of her butterbeer and said, 'That's just the papers making us more afraid than necessary.' She looked a bit sour when she said it. 'We noticed that the dark mark is often being cast to strike fear into people's hearts so they run off and flee, giving you-know-who's supporters free range to get or destroy whatever it is they came for.'

'Then what was it they were after?' Lily asked. 'I mean, they don't do it just for pleasure, do they?'

Severus wished he could be honest with Lily. Tell her that the Death Eaters, as they started to call themselves, will soon start hunting more and more for fun rather than on order.

'Severus, could you please tell us all what happened today?' Dumbledore said to turn the conversation.

Severus nodded, put his butterbeer down, let out a sigh, and started talking. 'I came to Hogsmeade with Frank Longbottom, Evan Rosier, and Regulus Black,' he started. 'We were near the Shrieking Shack when Frank saw the mark in the sky and we ran into town. I asked him to look for the rest of our group of friends when everyone started to run out of the town.'

'That's right,' said Lily. 'Frank found us all outside the music shop. The owner told us to run back to the castle.'

'I saw Lucius Malfoy near the tracks, holding Regulus upside down, questioning him, and Evan was lying unconscious behind him. What I wanted—'

'Malfoy?' Crouch said in surprise. 'Lucius Malfoy?'

'The one and only,' said Severus. 'You sound surprised Mister Crouch. How come?'

'I spoke with him at the ministry only moments before I got here,' Crouch cried out in disbelief. 'It can't have been him.'

'I know what I saw!' Severus called out. 'Him and Bellatrix Black.'

'And what exactly would Mister Malfoy want from some Hogwarts students!?' Demanded Crouch angrily.

'Bellatrix told me Malfoy needed to get something back,' said Severus darkly, 'and that she was asked to help him by the Dark Lord himself.'

At that, Crouch started to laugh. 'She just…told you?'

Severus felt like giving up on speaking with Crouch. Just like the man had done in his previous life, anything that came to the Dark Lord, he would not believe until it was too late.

'Do you have any idea what they were looking for Severus?' Asked Dumbledore.

'I have no idea, Headmaster,' Severus admitted, glad that at least Dumbledore believed what had happened. 'But whatever it is, Bellatrix believed Rosier had it.'

'It can't have been Malfoy,' Crouch stated, still laughing as he drained his whisky at once. 'Miss Black however, I can believe.'

'And what makes you say that, Mister Crouch?' Severus asked, getting annoyed.

'We've been looking for her for quite some time now,' said Crouch. 'Got her own style, that woman. Never seems to hesitate to throw that damned mark up in the sky or hurt people that get in her way.'

'Mustn't we question Mister Rosier at once though?' Asked McKinnon. 'If he is the one that has whatever they were after.'

'Mister Rosier is currently in critical condition and he shall not be questioned until he is ready to answer,' Dumbledore stated.

Moody, who seemed to be getting bored with the conversation, said, 'I'm going to go around town and talk to shop owners or something.' He grabbed his coat and, without looking back, left the inn.

'Mister Crouch, Madam McKinnon,' said Dumbledore, 'I think it would be best if we ended this conversation here and continue it some other day at the ministry. I have a school I wish to attend to.'

Both Lily and Severus had drained their butterbeers and looked at Dumbledore in a way that made it clear that they wanted to return to the castle as well.

They said goodbye to Marlene McKinnon first, who followed Moody's footsteps soon afterwards, and shook stiff hands with Mister Crouch.

'Can I expect you at the ministry by next week Headmaster? Crouch asked.

'I shall find my way in,' answered Dumbledore.

'As for you, Mister uhm…Snape was it?' Said Crouch, 'I will question Mister Malfoy once I return to the office, but I still find it highly improbable that it was him who was here tonight.'

'I don't care whether you question him or not,' Severus said boldly, arms folded across his chest. 'How about you go and spend some more time with your family instead? Your job is not as important as you think it is.'

Crouch seemed taken aback by Severus' statement. 'The department of magical law enforcement is in dire need of leadership,' Crouch said as he puffed out his chest. 'Especially in times like these.'

'I knew you wouldn't listen,' Severus said with an air of boredom. 'But take it from me, Mister Crouch, your position is replaceable, but your family is not.'

The pride that was etched into Crouch's face fell into a frown. 'What is it you know about my family boy?'

'You wife is sickly and your son hates you,' Severus sneered. 'Fix it while you still can.'

Without looking back, Severus pivoted around and walked out of the inn, leaving behind an astonished Lily and a smirking Dumbledore.

'I think I am going to close the inn for today,' said Aberforth. 'Time to go.'

As soon as Crouch stepped outside, he disapparated.

'Why wouldn't Regulus or Evan be able to testify?' Lily asked as she and Dumbledore met up with Severus. 'They're the ones who were attacked by Malfoy after all.'

'Because Regulus is Bellatrix's cousin and Evan has a family full of supporters of the Dark Lord,' said Severus. 'If they testified it would put them in severe danger.'

'And what about me?' Lily said in disbelief. 'I saw both of them.'

Both Dumbledore and Severus looked at Lily a little sadly. 'Miss Evans,' said Dumbledore gravely, 'for now I think the ministry wants to keep anything related to Voldemort and his supporters' attacks away from the public. It is a way to avoid chaos, you see.'

Lily flinched a little at the mention of Voldemort. 'This is all getting so complicated,' she said with a small voice. 'You really don't know what Malfoy was after, Sev?'

'I have no idea,' Severus admitted. 'But I will find out, one way or another.'


	53. A Confession Regarding Erwin's Mission

'I suppose I have to get back to the Gryffindor common room,' said Lily. 'Will you be okay, Sev?'

'I'll be fine,' said Severus. 'Lily, could I borrow Leo from you? There's something that I need to do.'

'Sorry Sev,' Lily said, 'but I wrote a letter to Tuney yesterday. You'll have to use one of the school owls.'

'Then I'll do that,' he said. He watched Lily and Dumbledore head for the staircases and had a feeling that Lily wasn't doing as well as she was pretending to.

Instead of heading to the Slytherin common room like the rest of the students, Severus walked up to Slughorn's office to notify him that he had returned, then headed straight to the owlery.

He knew that once the students were able to get out of their common rooms, the owlery would be swarming with students, desperate to send messages to their families about what happened in Hogsmeade.

A strong looking great gray owl looked like he was up for the job, so Severus sent off a note and money, and hoped the owl would return in time.

Severus made his way downstairs to the lab, where he planned on working on the wolfsbane potion and some homework. Once inside, he found Lily sitting on his bed, wiping away tears.

'I was hoping you'd be here soon,' Lily said with a raspy voice.

Without hesitation, Severus sat down beside her and pulled her into an embrace, making her head rest against his chest. 'Did it finally get to you what happened out there?' He asked her calmly.

'Yes,' she replied with a dry sob. 'I hope Evan and Regulus are okay.'

'We'll go visit them tomorrow at breakfast,' Severus reassured her. 'Along with the rest of the Young Order.'

'How come you're not afraid, Sev?' Lily asked as she sat back up straight, and wiped away a final tear.

'What do you mean by that?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

'You seemed so…calm, enigmatic even…just standing there as you were talking to her, that Bellatrix lady.'

'Because in situations such as these I cannot afford to be afraid Lily,' Severus answered somberly. 'It's just an act. It's always an act.'

Lily's eyebrows drew down into a frown. 'You're acting like you've seen this all before, Sev. How come?'

Severus looked down at his hands and shook his head. 'You know there are things I cannot answer you,' he said quietly.

'Are you saying you have been in this kind of trouble before?' Lily asked in disbelief.

'I have,' Severus said almost inaudibly, not daring to look her in the eye.

'Don't lie to my, Sev,' Lily said sharply.

'I'm not. I wouldn't dare.'

Lily stood up from the bed in a flash of anger. 'Exactly how far were you into this Death Eater thing last year, Sev?' She snapped.

It was in this question that Severus found his way out and he looked up at her fuming red face.

'Too far,' he said clearly. 'So far in fact, that Malfoy keeps telling me that the Dark Lord still has an interest in me.'

'Why do you keep calling him the Dark Lord?' Lily yelled, 'as if he's someone to look up to!'

'Because it would be foolish to deny the power that the man has,' Severus said, raising his voice against his own will, 'and because calling him you-know-who sounds ridiculous!'

Steam was nearly coming out of Lily's ears with anger. With balled fists she stomped her way towards where Severus had thrown off his cloak, fumbled around in the inner pocket, and pulled out the pack of cigarettes.

'Take one,' Lily sneered as she took a cigarette out and tossed the pack to him.

'Lily, that's not what they're meant—'

'—does it look like I give a shit right now!' Lily interrupted him and snapped her fingers so hard she nearly set her whole cigarette on fire.

Quickly Severus pulled a cigarette out of the pack and lit it, not wanting to blow her fuse any further.

'What happened to you, Sev?' she asked as she paced around the room. 'Because during the summer I thought I had lost you as a friend, only for you to pull a one-eighty and fight against everything you were working on.'

Severus stood up from the bed and walked up to her, causing her to stop pacing and stare out the window at the bottom of the lake.

'You are so…different,' Lily said as she blew smoke from her lungs.

'In what way?' Severus asked carefully.

'It's as if you're no longer vulnerable,' Lily said in an almost disapproving manner. 'You hold yourself entirely different. You're no longer trying to curse the marauder's heads off and they are hardly picking on you for some odd reason—'

'—That's because we have an agreement,' Severus cut her off. 'And also because I'm trying to help Lupin. Aside from Lupin, they might all be a bunch of thickheads, but at least they care enough about their friend to leave me alone.'

'Makes sense,' Lily admitted. 'It's just—you hold yourself so differently, Sev.'

'How?'

Lily shrugged. 'I'm not sure…braver, perhaps.'

Severus looked at her and formed a smile. 'You were very brave today, too.'

Lily snorted in obvious disagreement. 'I don't know if you just noticed, but I was crying because I was terrified when I saw the mark.'

'Being afraid doesn't equal being a coward, Lily,' Severus said in a reassuring manner. 'You still came running to help despite facing two dangerous people and when everyone had left, you stayed with me, so I didn't have to face those ministry officials on my own.'

Lily couldn't help but smile at his words and got a little blush on her cheeks.

'I'll never forget how disappointed I was that you did not get sorted into Slytherin,' said Severus. 'But I know now that Gryffindor is where you belong.'

'To be fair,' Lily said, her anger forgotten, 'you'd make a fine Gryffindor yourself.'

'Now don't start throwing insults at me!' Severus said teasingly. 'I'm not some reckless idiot like most of you are.'

'When I saw what you did out there, I'd say you were being pretty reckless,' Lily said with a twinkle in her eye. 'Especially with Crouch. How come you know about his family? Or were you just bluffing?'

'I've observed his son long enough to know that things aren't going well at home,' Severus lied smoothly. 'And it's not exactly a secret that the man is obsessed with his job either.'

They had finished their cigarettes, tossed the buds into the fire, and sat back down on the bed.

'I can tell there's something else on your mind,' Severus said as he looked at Lily. 'Care to share?'

'It's just—,' Lily stammered, running her fingers through her hair in frustration, 'It's just that I still don't like not knowing all those secrets that you carry with you.'

'Lily I—'

'—I know Dumbledore knows,' Lily cut him off, 'and it does put me more at ease knowing that he does, but I still can't help but worry about you.'

'There's one secret that I would like to share with you, although technically it's not a secret,' said Severus. 'I've had to think about it for a while whether I wanted to tell you or not, but I decided that it would be better if I did.'

Lily put one hand on his knee in a reassuring manner. 'You're being vague, Sev, but whatever it is, just tell me'

'Technically Erwin wanted to tell you this but, he knows,' Severus said.

'Know's what?' Lily asked, a little confused.

'Erwin knows about the war that's growing stronger in our world.'

Lily's eyes grew wide in horror. 'How?' She said dreadfully. 'Did you tell him or something?'

Severus shook his head. 'He found out himself.'

'But how?' Lily asked impatiently.

'Because he doesn't turn a blind eye to our world, Lily,' Severus answered seriously. 'He can sense something is wrong. He's a veteran, after all.'

'And what about mum?' Lily asked, shivering at the thought. 'Does she know? And Tuney?'

'They don't,' said Severus. 'At least, for as long as possible. Erwin's smart enough to understand that if your mum finds out, she'll have you, and me for the matter, pulled out of school before the end of the day.'

Lily laid down on her back in frustration, covering her face with her hair. 'He wants to get involved, doesn't he?'

'Remember how Erwin and Dumbledore were talking outside after mum's funeral?'

'I remember that.'

'Erwin joined the Order of the Phoenix that moment.'

'Oh no!' Lily cried, 'and mum doesn't know about it?' She grabbed a pillow and covered her face with it. 'This is bad, this is so very, very bad.'

Severus lay down on his back and lifted the pillow off her face. 'Shouldn't you be more concerned with the fact your old man wants to fight in a magical war?'

'Dad misses the war, Sev,' Lily said sadly. 'As hard as I find it to understand, I know he does.'

'He told me that, too,' said Severus. 'I hope to receive a message from him soon, because whatever he signed himself up for, Arnica is going to find out sooner or later that he's keeping something behind her back.'

Lily let out a sigh of frustration and held onto the pillow so tightly she nearly ripped it at the seams. 'Fucking hell, dad!' Lily yelled to the ceiling. 'What exactly does he think he can even do there?'

'Apparently Dumbledore did have a position for him,' said Severus. 'So like I said, I hope to hear from him soon so he can tell me more about his irrational decision to join the order.'

All Lily could do was shake her head.

'I've got to admit,' Severus said with a grin. 'Your father would've done well in Gryffindor, if he had the chance.'

In a flash, Lily smacked Severus in the stomach with the pillow she was holding. 'Saying I got my recklessness from my dad, eh?' She teased.

'That's exactly what I'm saying,' said Severus as he grabbed the pillow and tossed it back at her. 'I think I know what you need to cheer you up a bit.'

'And what would that be?'

'Food and lots of it.'

'Are you suggesting we sneak into the kitchens?' Lily asked with a twinkle in her eye.

'No,' Severus said, amused by Lily's immediate look of disappointment. 'I'm actually suggesting we go to the Great Hall and have dinner with the rest of the school, like the proper students we are.'

'Is it already that late?' Lily asked.

Severus nodded that it was. 'They're probably serving chocolate cake, considering today's events.'

'Chocolate's good,' said Lily, already looking forward to a slice by the look on her face. 'Chocolate always helps after anything stressful.'


	54. Erwin's Message from The Burrow

It was a grim Sunday morning the day after their Hogsmeade visit. The Young Order, along with the rest of the school it seemed, were oddly quiet during breakfast time.

'Are we all going to visit Evan and Regulus after breakfast?' Alice asked in an attempt to break the silence.

'Sev and I were planning on it,' Lily answered. 'Though I doubt if madam Pomfrey will allow all of us in at once.'

'I don't care,' said Frank, looking cranky as he was playing with his food. 'I need to see them.'

Owls started to pour in, and soon the great hall was filled with letters baring messages from concerned parents. An owl had also dropped in for Severus, delivering the Daily Prophet as usual.

Severus spread out the paper in front of the group for everyone to see. The news on the attack had made it to the front page, including the names of Regulus and Evan, but not by whom they were attacked.

'This is bad,' said Remus, looking grim. 'So very bad.'

'No mention whatsoever of Bellatrix Black or Lucius Malfoy,' Severus gritted through his teeth as he rolled up the paper. 'Somehow I doubt Crouch even bothered to question Malfoy. The things I'd do to slip that bastard some truth serum.'

As Severus tucked the paper in his pocket, a spotted owl was soaring above him. Gracefully the owl landed in front of him, held out her paw bearing a message and a package, and left right after Severus untied it.

Once he unrolled the parchment however, nothing seemed to be written on it.

'What you got there, Sev?' Lily asked.

'No clue,' he answered, holding up both sides for Lily to see. 'The letter is empty.'

'That's odd,' Lily said, still looking at the parchment as if she expected something to appear. 'Maybe whoever send it made a mistake. What about the package?'

Severus shrugged. 'No clue, but for all I know the package may be unsafe,' he said, and tucked the empty letter and the package in his backpack. Severus knew better of course, than to think it was just an empty sheet of paper. Damocles hadn't exactly been hiding his recipe for the wolfsbane potion the first time, so the only other person Severus assumed this had come from was Erwin.

'I can't bare eating any more food,'said Frank. 'Shall we just go to the hospital wing and sneak in?'

They all agreed with Frank's statement and headed their way towards the hospital wing in a pack.

Madam Pomfrey wasn't around, so they all took the risk to sneak inside and found Evan and Regulus's beds aside from each other.

Evan was looking bad. He had a large gash on the side of his head that Severus recognized as his own Sectumsempra spell, and couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for sharing that spell with anyone else. He knew how to heal it, but couldn't do it in front of everyone else without raising suspicion.

On the other side of the curtain that separated the two beds was Regulus, who was already sitting upright eating breakfast. 'Wut bwings yall here?' Regulus asked with a mouth full of food. 'Siwius jus' left.'

'Checking in on how you're doing, of course,' said Alice. 'And Evan, but he still seems to be out cold.'

Severus pulled out the newspaper from his pocket and handed it to Regulus.

The difficulty in which Regulus read the paper made it clear that he wasn't going to be released from the hospital wings any time soon. Through the process of reading, his face started to fall.

'My parents will know,' Regulus said with a shaking voice. 'They will know, and they are not going to be happy.'

'What is it that they'll know?' Mary asked.

'My parents are avid supporters of the Dark Lord,' said Regulus, his hands running through his hair in frustration. 'The fact that Sirius is rebelling against that is bad enough, but now they'll know about me too…'

'Regulus,' said Severus as he took the paper back, 'I say this to anyone who's putting up a resistance against the Dark Lord, but if you're looking for protection, Dumbledore can help you out.'

'I talked to Evan about that as well,'said Regulus. 'He told me all about what Dumbledore could do for me if I ever need it.'

'Then please do so once you're released from hospital,' Severus urged him.

'I will,' Regulus assured him. 'Are you all still going to have a meeting today?'

'Haven't really thought about that,' said Frank. 'But if everyone's up for it, I would like to continue today.'

'Evan won't be able to introduce Occlumency though,' said Mary. 'At least not for a little while.'

'There's still Lily who wants to go through sign language with us too,' said Severus. 'Evan and Regulus will just have to catch on later.'

'Sorry Regulus,' Lily said to him. 'I'll help you through what you and Evan are missing out though.'

Regulus shrugged it off. 'I'm sure I'll be back by next week. It's a good thing I learn quick enough.'

'Before we leave Regulus,' said Severus while looking around to see if madam Pomfrey was somehow lurking around the corner, 'do you have any idea what Malfoy was after?'

'No clue,' Regulus answered. 'Sorry to disappoint.'

The group decided that it would be best to leave before madam Pomfrey caught sight of them, and headed straight for the Room of Requirement. Severus could've sworn once they left the hospital wing, he saw Vanity sneak in as well, probably to visit Evan.

Once there, after Frank's usual lesson, Lily taught the class the very basics of sign language. After she made sure everyone had warmed up their fingers, she taught them how to sign the first half of the alphabet.

Severus was glad when it was all over. The mysterious letter he had received that morning had started to take over his curiosity and made him less attentive then usual during the Young Order meetings.

'Lily,' Severus called for her at the end of her lesson. 'Is there anything you need to do in the lab?'

'Not particularly no,' said Lily. 'Why?'

'Would you mind if I spend the rest of the day alone in there?' said Severus, laying out his words carefully. 'There are some things with that wolfsbane potion that I need to focus very intensely on.'

'That's perfectly fine,'said Lily. 'I was planning on spending some time with Alice and Mary anyway.'

'Did I just hear you say wolfsbane?' Remus asked in shock as he passed them on their way out. 'Isn't that a poisonous plant?'

'The leafs are, the roots aren't,' Severus assured him. 'And yes, I am using it for the potion I'm brewing for you.'

Remus's eyes grew big at Severus saying it out loud. 'Could you not—' Remus said in an attempt to argue, but Lily cut him off.

'—I kind of figured it out myself, Remus,' said Lily, making sure no one could hear them. 'And it's fine, I'm not afraid of you, if that makes you feel any better.'

Remus didn't look as if someone not being afraid of you was something to be happy about, but he relaxed a little nonetheless.

'Don't tell anyone, please.'

'My lips are sealed,' Lily assured him.

'The potion ought to be ready by the end of the month,' Severus told Remus.

'Don't I have to drink it the night before my transformation?'

'Sadly, no,' said Severus. 'You'll have to drink it every day two weeks prior to the full moon, and it's not going to be pretty.'

'Whatever it takes,' said Remus, though it was clear he was not looking forward to drinking a potentially deadly potion.

Severus left the group and headed down to the lab. He sat down behind the desk, pulled out his wand, tapped the letter three times and mumbled 'Aparecium.' As expected, letters had started to form on the paper. By the numerous ink blobs on the paper, it was obvious that it was written by someone who wasn't used to writing with ink and quill.

_Dear Severus,_

_News travels fast. I am aware that Hogsmeade has been under attack and that you, Lily, and a few other students have been involved. I can only hope that each and every one of you are safe._

_I'm currently in a town called Ottery St. Catchpole, and spend a lot of time out here with Arthur Weasley (who has taken a particular interest in me, I might add) and his wife Molly, both of whom remember you and Lily from their time at Hogwarts. Apparently, Molly has been keeping an eye on Lily and some of her friends to join the Order after she graduates. I suppose I can't be mad at Lily for keeping this from me. I am, after all, hiding this from my own wife as well. Arnica still believes that I am meeting up with old friends from my time in the Army, but I don't know how long I will be able to keep up that lie until she finds out._

_As for my purpose in the Order, right now they have assigned me to do this thing called background checks. Many of you-know-who's supporters (Arthur has filled me in on that), are just as often registered on Muggle birth certificates as Magical ones. Being ex-military apparently has its privileges, as they often believe I'm only searching for old military friends and am therefore given free range to search through archives without raising too much suspicion. Also, being a Muggle, I am quite under the radar as I am deemed lesser by these people, which only works in my advantage._

_Regarding your father, Severus, there's still much debate going on regarding what happened to you and your mother. Dumbledore is still speculating that magic had been involved, and to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if that were true. Dumbledore's main suspicion is that your father may have been something called 'Confunded' rather than (if I remember correctly) 'Imperiused'. I'm not sure how to differentiate between the two, but either way I don't like the sound of either._

_As I don't know when I will be able to write again, I added some gifts to this letter for Lily's birthday. They all come from Arnica, Petunia, and me._

_I've got to cut this short. Arthur wants me to look at some car- and motorbike parts that he has acquired and is demanding an explanation on how it all works._

_Look after yourself Severus, and I am positive that you are looking after Lily too._

_Love,_

_Dad_

Severus couldn't help but smile at the letter. Of course, Erwin would be spending time at the burrow, and it was no secret that Muggle loving Arthur Weasley may have had something to do with that.

The fact that Erwin got involved in acquiring background information was a brilliant move on his behalf, so Severus picked up a quill and parchment and started writing his response. If there was a small chance that Erwin could investigate Bellatrix Black and Lucius's Malfoy's backgrounds, any information would be welcome.

Indeed, it was concerning that magic had been involved in his father's trial. A part of him wished that the whole debate would be put to rest and have him locked up for good. A more rational part inside of him however, knew that if magic had been involved, someone else had been out to get him, and that made it all the more dangerous.

After he finished his letter, Severus used an 'Illegibilus' charm on it so all the letters would be scrambled and sealed it off with candle wax.

He would show Lily the letter Erwin had sent tomorrow, but for now, it felt good to have some time to himself.


	55. Becoming a Chaser

By Monday morning, Regulus had been released from hospital and came to visit Severus at the breakfast table. 'Madam Pomfrey asked me to give you this,' Regulus said as he handed Severus a note.

Severus unrolled the small note, baring a pardon on Dumbledore's behalf that their usual session would have to be postponed until Monday the following week, as the ministry was calling for his aid.

Not that Severus minded much. The ring, the locket, and potentially Hufflepuff's cup, were all objects that were somehow connected to the Dark Lord. He knew that Dumbledore was on track with the ring, the cup he had absolutely no clue on, and the locket, well, the only one who could answer that was sitting right beside him.

'Regulus,' Severus started, 'would you be up for it to spend the afternoon after classes with me?'

Regulus, who had been happily piling up breakfast food onto his plate, looked over at Severus with a raised eyebrow. 'If you're still after whatever Malfoy was looking for, I still don't have an answer for you.'

Severus shook his head. 'That's not what I'm after. There' something else that I''m looking for, and I think you might be able to help.'

'Sure,' Regulus said with a shrug. 'When are you done?'

'I got four lessons, so right after Ancient Runes.'

'I got quidditch practice right after Herbology,' said Regulus with an apologetic look. 'If you don't mind waiting for a bit, we can talk after that.

'Will do,' said Severus.

'Hello Regulus!' said a cheery voice. Lily had just walked up to the table. 'It's good to see you out of hospital. No more concussion?'

Regulus looked up at the ceiling, obvious that he hadn't been entirely honest. 'I kind of lied to madam Pomfrey,' he admitted. 'I didn't feel like lying around any longer.'

'You should be careful with that,' Lily said with a tone of disapproval. 'Just take it easy alright.'

'Can't,' said Regulus. 'Got quidditch practice today.'

The poisonous glare in Lily's eyes was amusing to Severus, and rather frightening to Regulus, as he subconsciously shuffled a little further away from Lily. 'When will you boys ever learn,' Lily gritted through her teeth, 'that your health is more important than bloody quidditch.'

'Rosier is still out cold,' said Regulus while twirling his butter knife in his hand. 'And we haven't got anyone to replace us. We've got to find someone by Friday.'

Lily looked at Severus, and it took a moment before Severus knew what she was silently trying to say.

'No,' he said. 'Absolutely not.'

'Wadnot?' Regulus asked with a mouth full of bacon.

'Lily wants to me try out for the team,' said Severus darkly. 'Which of course, is never going to happen.'

'It'll be my birthday on the thirtieth,' said Lily with a seductive pair of eyes. 'Won't you at least give it a try, as a gift.'

This time it was Regulus looking amused, and Severus repulsed. 'Yes Severus,' said Regulus, imitating Lily's seductive look. 'Why don't you try out for the team?'

Severus felt he would rather sink through the floor than end up playing quidditch. 'Lily,' he said with a growl. 'You know I'm scared of heights, right?'

'I know I know,' Lily admitted, 'but it can't hurt to at least give it a try, right? I mean, look at Vanity over there.'

Emma Vanity was sitting at the very edge of the Slytherin table, looking as pale as a ghost, absentmindedly picking at her breakfast.

'She needs you,' said Lily in a feeble attempt to convince Severus.

'Yes,' said Regulus, nodding along with Lily's words. 'She needs you. Slytherin needs you. _I_ need you.'

'No,' Severus stated. His arms folded over his chest. 'Don't try to guilt trip me into this. I will _not_ join the bloody Slytherin team.'

By the end of the day however, Severus was standing on the quidditch field in full Chaser gear, holding onto Rosier's racing broom, looking defeated.

'You are so fucking whipped, Severus,' said Regulus in a fit of laughter. 'I still can't believe you're actually doing this.'

Severus shot Regulus a two-finger salute to shut him up. 'Me neither,' he said, failing hard at trying to sound confident. 'And I wasn't lying when I said that I'm afraid of heights.'

The latter he said a little too loudly, as Vanity caught on and stomped her way to Severus. 'You're our only hope, Snape,' she said in a murderous undertone. 'Either you get over your pathetic little fear _right now_ , or you get off the field and stop wasting my time.'

Watching Vanity spit venom like that made Severus wish he'd rather face the Dark Lord than lose the match with her breathing down his neck. 'I'll try,' said Severus with a lump in his throat. 'I just can't guarantee a victory.'

'Looks like your little lion made it into the snake den,' said Regulus as he pointed behind Severus's shoulder. Lily was sitting in one of the watchtowers and waved at him as their eyes met.

'So whipped…' was the last thing Severus caught Regulus say through a fit of giggles, and Regulus joined up with the rest of the team.

Lily, all huddled up with a blanket and a thick scarf, took off her gloves. 'Do it for Evan,' she signed at Severus. 'He will be forever grateful if you try.'

'I will,' he signed back. 'But only once!'

'You look ridiculous,' Lily signed in a manner that was obviously meant to poke fun at him.

'That is your fault,' Severus signed back in a pissed-off manner. 'Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go fall of a broom and snap my neck.'

Severus turned around and joined the rest of the team. 'You know the rules, Snape?' Vanity asked, glaring up at him.

'Do you take me for a daft idiot?' Severus snapped back at Vanity. 'Let's just get this over with.'

'At least you got the proper build for a Chaser,' Vanity said while observing Severus's physique. 'Skinny, and not too tall.'

Severus narrowed his eyes. 'Thank you for pointing out that I'm a skinny twig, miss Vanity.'

'Jus saying,' Vanity shrugged. 'At least it's something that works in your advantage.'

As expected, the training went disastrous. It took a long time before Severus finally found the courage to rise higher off the ground on Rosier's ridiculously fast broomstick, and dropped the quaffle nearly half a dozen times as it slipped through his arms.

The new beaters, both third years whom Severus didn't bother remember the names off, we're at least doing a pretty decent job at trying to knock the chasers off their brooms.

'We're doomed,' said Vanity as they all met on the ground, her face turning red in frustration.

'Just don't depend too much on me and everything should be fine,' said Severus, trying to reassure her. 'I'll just fly around for formality's sake.'

'No, you are participating, Snape,' said Vanity as she poked his chest with her finger. 'It's all or nothing.' Without saying another word, Vanity stomped away from the team and headed towards the changing rooms.

Severus looked up at Lily. 'Well done,' Lily signed. She raised her hand above her head to indicate height. 'I am going to visit Hagrid. Want to join me?'

'I am going to spend some time with Regulus first,' Severus signed back as he pointed at a confused looking Regulus. 'I will meet you there later.'

'Okay,' Lily signed back as she stood up, and disappeared behind the staircase of the watchtower.

'Looks useful, that signing thing you did there,' said Regulus to Severus as they headed for the changing rooms. 'I had no clue what the two of you were saying to each other.'

'And that's exactly why she wants to teach it to the rest of the Young Order,' Severus responded.

As both Regulus and Severus were used to the cold of the dungeons and weren't bothered by it, they decided on taking a walk around the frozen lake.

'Alright then,' said Regulus to bring back the thing they had started talking about during breakfast. 'What was it that you wanted to ask?'

Severus looked up at the sky to buy him some time to think of the right words to say. 'What I'm looking for, is a magical object,' he said eventually.

Regulus looked over at the castle. 'Found some,' he said dryly as he waved his hand in the castle's direction. 'Please be more specific.'

'It's an object that may once have belonged to Salazar Slytherin.'

'See, now you're downsizing it,' Regulus said in an approving manner. 'And what makes you think I know anything about such a rare object?'

'Because you're a Slytherin, too,' said Severus. 'And also, because you come from an ancient family in which these types of heirlooms are usually passed around.'

'Fair enough,' said Regulus. 'Any idea what it looks like?'

'It's a locket made from heavy gold,' Severus answered. 'And it has an emerald letter S inlay.'

Regulus's face fell from genuine interest to pure horror. 'Have you, have you—'

'—Have I what? Severus interrupted Regulus's shaking voice.

'Have you ever met the Dark Lord?' Regulus whispered as if he was afraid of being overheard.

'No,' Severus lied. 'Why?'

'I've met him,' Regulus said with a bitter tone to his voice. 'Well, I've seen him, rather than met him. He's got a locket around his neck just like the one you just described.'

Fuck. The very last place Severus had wanted the locket to be was on the Dark Lord himself.

'He was talking about it too,' Regulus continued. 'Said he was looking for some place to hide it.'

So there was a glitter of hope after all. Severus had no idea when Dumbledore would return to Hogwarts, but he hoped it would be soon.

'How come you know about it?' Regulus asked, looking skeptical as he said it.

'Because of Dumbledore,' said Severus. 'He thinks the locket may be significant to the Dark Lord's power, and it's something that needs to be taken away from him.'

Regulus didn't seem entirely convinced but decided not to elaborate on it. 'Are you going to tell Dumbledore?' Regulus asked carefully. 'Because I'd rather stay out of this.'

'I don't think Dumbledore will consider it relevant where the information came from as long as the source is reliable,' Severus assured him. 'And since I consider you a reliable source, I can guarantee that your name stays out of it.'

'Good,' Regulus said with relief. 'Anything else you wanted to know?'

Severus shook his head. 'Care to join me on a visit to Hagrid's?'

'sure,' said Regulus. 'He always struck me as a nice bloke.'

'Hagrid's a good man,' said Severus. 'I can assure you that.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Most of us assume Severus is a tall lanky man, right? Apparently that's wrong. In the fifth book if I'm not mistaken, Sirius is described as taller than Severus as they are having an argument. According to HP wiki, Sirius is 5"9.5, meaning that Severus is shorter, and estimated between 5"7 or 8. In other words, he's actually kind of a short guy. (Severus's impressive posture I blame on his billowing robes and Alan Rickman's superb acting.)
> 
> A/N The two-finger salute (or "The Vicky") is a thing Severus did at the beginning of the story towards his father. Basically you lift your index- and middle finger up in a V-shape and show the outer side of your wrist. It's the UK equivalent (most commonly in Scotland) of raising your middle finger.


	56. Evan Rosier's Awakening

There was no sign of Dumbledore over the course of the next few days. Whatever Dumbledore had to deal with at the ministry, Severus knew it had to be big.

Severus had made sure Lily got to read the letter Erwin had sent him. It had brought her some piece of mind knowing that her father was keeping himself under the radar and was spending time in the presence of the Weasley family. A more concerning thing, however, was when Leo had returned baring her sister's response.

Petunia had talked vividly about the pretty northern lights she had seen, and painted, not too long ago above their hometown, which could only mean one thing, and that was that Death Eaters had been roaming the streets of Cokeworth. Lily and Severus had worked together on sending another letter addressed to The Burrow in the hope that at least some Aurors or other ministry officials were willing to look after any families with magical relatives.

The great gray owl Severus had sent off to retrieve a gift for Lily had returned. It carried a large package as it flopped down on the table, exhausted from the journey. 'Just in time!' said Severus happily as he untied the gift from his paw. 'You must've had a very long journey.' Severus made sure the owl had access to food and drink to regain his strength before it went back to the owlery, and quickly hid the flat square package in his backpack before Lily could see it.

The re-match between Slytherin and Hufflepuff, and Lily's birthday, were tomorrow. The news that Severus had temporarily joined the Slytherin team had not gone unnoticed. Especially not by Frank –and Potter.

'I still can't believe you're actually playing against me tomorrow,' said Frank as he joined Severus at the table.

'Me neither,' said Severus, not bothering to hide his lack of confidence. 'Still can't believe they couldn't find anyone else to do it.'

'Maybe most Slytherin's had hoped that Evan would wake up in time before the match,' said Frank.

Severus shrugged it off. 'Either way, I warned the rest of the team not to get their hopes up.'

'You're going to make winning way too easy for us Puffs, Severus,' said Frank as he poured himself some coffee.

'Just because Slytherin got one bad temporary addition to the team,' said Severus, helping himself to some coffee as well, 'doesn't mean the rest of them aren't talented players. Vanity especially. She's one fierce lady.'

'Vanity's got to be the toughest player I've ever had the pleasure to have a match against,' said Frank.

Potter, who had overheard Frank's words as he walked into the great hall, sat down beside him.

'You're absolutely right, Longbottom,' said Potter as he grabbed some toast. 'Vanity's as tough as opponents can get.'

Severus, who so far had managed to avoid speaking with Potter altogether since he joined the Young Order a few weeks prior, looked up at Potter with as much interest as a sloth awakened from its sleep.

'What brings you here, Potter?' Severus asked in the hope it would scare Potter away.

'Talk of quidditch, of course,' said Potter, now decorating his toast with a thick layer of marmalade. 'Still can't believe you joined the Slytherin team Snape. You didn't strike me as the type.'

'Thank you for repeating the exact same thing Frank just told me,' Severus responded sardonically. 'It must feel good knowing Gryffindor still has a chance at winning after all.'

'Not that hard when people that are too afraid to sit on a broomstick get accepted into teams,' Potter said with an air of authority.

Severus subconsciously balled his hands into fists. 'I am not afraid—'

'—So, what are you going to after class today, Potter?' Frank said nonchalantly to turn the conversation.

Potter shot one last glare at Severus but decided not to continue bickering. 'As a matter of fact, Peter and I are going to sneak into Hogsmeade while Sirius and Remus got their music class.'

'How do you plan on doing that?' Frank asked in surprise. 'They've really sharpened the security ever since the attack.'

Potter peaked over his glasses in a McGonagall like fashion. 'I have my ways, Longbottom. I can assure you that.'

'Not that hard when you got an invisibility cloak,' Severus said to throw more oil onto the fire.

'Could you say that any louder,' Potter said with a sneer, his eyes shifting across the great hall to make sure no one had overheard.

'POTTER'S GOT AN INV—'

Potter jumped up and shoved his hand over Severus's mouth. 'How can I get you to shut up about that?' he said angrily.

Severus grabbed Potter's arm and pushed him away as if he were holding a dirty rag. 'Actually Potter, there is something that you could do for me.'

'Alice! Dearest!' Frank yelled happily as he saw Alice walk in from across the hall. He looked at the two sneering men in disapproval. 'I don't want to be involved in this. I'm out.'

Severus and Potter waiting until Frank was gone before they continued their quarrel. 'And what would that be?' Potter asked darkly as he sat back down.

'Since you probably know it's Lily's birthday tomorrow, and you're planning on sneaking off to Hogsmeade today, I've got a plan.'

Severus could tell Potter was now curious, as he subconsciously leaned in closer. 'I'm not buying her a gift on your behalf if that's what you're asking,' said Potter.

'Absolutely not,' said Severus, amused. 'I've got a much, much better plan.'

Severus whispered his idea to Potter, who nodded along in agreement. 'I can do that,' said Potter. 'And what about the others?'

'Let's inform them now before Lily gets here,' said Severus. 'She's going to love this.'

Together they had managed to inform all the others of the Young Order without Lily's knowledge, who was now sitting at the table in complete ignorance of what was going on around her.

The bell was about to ring when Vanity came running up to the group. 'Evan just woke up!' she cried. 'He's not doing well at all but at least he woke up.'

The whole group looked at each other as if to contemplate whether they wanted to risk skipping class or not.

'Let's go visit him,' Severus said to Lily. 'I'm sure professor Slughorn will forgive us.' Lily nodded in agreement, as did the rest of the group, and followed Vanity to the hospital wing.

Madam Pomfrey was putting up a stack of pillows for Evan to lean on when everyone entered the hospital wing.

'Aren't you all supposed to be in class?' she said sharply. 'Please come back after today's lessons. Mister Rosier needs his rest.'

Evan was looking sheepishly from his eyes. Madam Pomfrey had somehow managed to heal up the cut that was slashed on the side of his head, leaving a scar Severus knew could no longer be healed.

Evan attempted to raise his hand in order to wave hello, but was too exhausted to do it, and let his hand slump back down on the bed.

'I think it will be for the best if we come back later,'s aid Frank. 'Let's go to class for now, shall we?'

Everyone waved at Evan before they turned around to go to their classes. Vanity, who took the longest time to turn away from Evan, looked defeated as she followed most of the group to their potions lesson.

The group had taken turns later that day to visit Evan, as madam Pomfrey would not allow more than two visitors at once.

Rather unexpectedly, Vanity decided to join Lily and Severus at the table during dinner. 'Would you mind if I call you Emma?' asked LIly.

'No, I don't mind,'said Emma. 'You're Lily, right?'

'Yes, I am,' said Lily. 'I'll be straight forward with you Emma, but you didn't seem very happy about Evan waking up.'

'It's not that I'm not happy about it,' Emma said with a shrug. 'It's just—it's just that Evan and I have been growing apart ever since Christmas. Even before the attack in Hogsmeade.' Lily looked at Emma with concern as tears had started to form in her eyes. 'All he does is absentmindedly roam around the school,' Emma continued. 'It's as if he's not just losing interest in me, but everything around him as well.'

'How much do you know about his home life?' Severus asked.

'Nearly everything,'said Emma. 'At least I think I do.'

Severus and Lily looked at each other and nodded in understanding.

'Emma,' Lily said carefully, 'when we encountered Lucius Malfoy in Hogsmeade, he was looking for something that Evan might possibly have. Do you have any idea what that could be?'

Emma shook her head. 'I have no idea.'

'Would you like to go and ask him?' Severus asked Emma. 'Maybe he'll tell you more than he's willing to tell me.'

'Will you come with me?' Emma asked with questionable eyes. 'I mean, you were actually there when it happened. He may want to hear the story from your side.'

'Sure,' said Severus as he put his fork and knife to the side. 'Let's go do this now, shall we?'

'Will I see you at the lab later, Sev?'

'I'll be there,' Severus assured her.

As Lily shuffled closer to Alice, Severus and Emma got up and made their way to the hospital wing.

It was good to see that Evan was still sitting up straight and eating dinner.

'Ullo,' Evan said happily with a mouth full of potatoes, and it was evident that his happiness was more directed to Emma than Severus. 'It's good to see you both.'

Emma carefully wrapped her arms around him and let out a dry sob. 'I came to visit you earlier today,' she said, 'but you were asleep.'

'Tends to happen,' said Evan as he donned his plate on the bedside table.

'How are you feeling, Evan?' Severus asked as he sat down in the chair beside the bed.

'So so. Still got a headache and I can't walk properly yet, which pissed me off to no extend because the quidditch match is tomorrow.'

'Severus is taking your position as Chaser for tomorrow,' Emma said without any confidence.

That seemed to make Evan laugh, and then wince from a pain in his chest. 'You…playing quidditch,' he said with difficulty. 'That's hilarious.'

'Very funny Evan,' said Severus dryly. 'But for the record, I'm also using your broom.'

'That's kind of an insult to my broom really,' said Evan. The pain in his chest seemed to be worth the fits of laughter. 'But on a more serious note Severus, I do appreciate you doing this for me.'

'Evan,' Emma said rather impatiently, 'there's something that I would like to ask.'

Evan could tell that whatever it was, it was a serious matter. 'What is it Emma?' he asked carefully.

'When you met Malfoy out in Hogsmeade, what exactly was it that he was looking for?'

Evan stared into Emma's eyes for a few seconds before he answered. 'I don't know,' he said. 'I really don't know.'

Emma seemed to accept Evan's answer for the truth, but Severus knew better. Evan was hiding something, and whatever it was, it was dangerous. If only he had one single lead as to what it could be that Evan was hiding, he would've been able to perform Legilimency without Evan's knowledge. It was time to once again, become a spy.

'You know what Evan, and Emma, too,' said Severus. 'Tomorrow's Lily's birthday, and I think we all could use a little distraction. Here's the plan I've made.'

Severus met up with Lily later in the lab. 'How did it go?' Lily asked as she looked up from behind a pile of homework.

'Said he had no clue either as to what Malfoy wanted,' Severus answered as he sat down behind his cauldron. 'But on a more positive note, the wolfsbane potion is officially ready.'


	57. Lily's Sixteenth Birthday I

Severus was having trouble sleeping. Every time he drifted off to sleep images of Bellatrix and Malfoy kept floating to the surface, hiding exactly what Evan was hiding from the rest to see. After a while Severus decided to get up and distract himself with whatever he could find in the lab.

The giant squid was observing Severus with curious eyes from behind the window as Severus rummaged through the growing potion supplies. Lily had managed to sell tons of potions ever since they started brewing, and the money he had safely stacked away was growing by the day. If it continued to grow like this until the end of the school year, he would have enough money to buy a motorbike.

He looked sheepishly at the potion he had brewed for Remus. It looked and smelled the same as he remembered it from his previous life. Even the faint whisps of blue smoke seemed right, but Severus though would be a wise idea to have some sort of antidote ready nonetheless. As he turned around to rummage through his supplies, a jar of cut leftover henbane tipped over. Most of it fell on the floor, but several leaves started floating through the air by the impact, and landed straight into the wolfsbane potion.

Fuck no! Quickly he tried to pick out the bits of henbane with his stirrer, but unfortunately most of it had already fused with the potion. In a fit of rage, Severus felt like tossing out the potion entirely, but stopped himself just in time as he noticed that the henbane hadn't changed anything about the colour or texture of the potion. Maybe there was a small chance the potion hadn't been affected after all.

The giant squid was still looking at Severus, who was now sitting with his hands in his hair, and tapped on the glass with a tentacle.

'I'm afraid I don't speak squid,' Severus sneered, still angry at how he had allowed himself to ruin a potion of this degree.

The giant squid however, stayed put.

'Can I help you with something?' Severus asked, a little taken aback by the squid's sudden peculiar behaviour.

The giant squid rolled up a tentacle as if to indicate that Severus had to come up to the window. Seeing as there was nothing that could be done to save the potion at this point, Severus obliged.

'I screwed up,' Severus mumbled as he leaned with his forehead against the window. 'Badly.'

The giant squid touched the glass as if it were trying to reach out to Severus.

'I don't know what you want,' Severus said, looking into the squid's enormous eye. They looked at each other for a while as Severus was trying to figure out why the creature was trying to draw its attention.

'You're the only squid in this lake, aren't you?' By the waving of its tentacles, Severus took as a gesture of it saying yes. 'Don t you get lonely out here, by yourself?'

The squid pointed at some merpeople in the distance, and Severus took it as a no. Then, a sudden thought occurred to him. 'How did you get in here?' Severus asked curiously. 'You belong in the ocean.'

The squid didn't move, but just kept staring in an observing manner the same way Severus was starting at it. 'You're not a squid, are you?' Severus said with a grin. 'You're a kelpie.'

The squid squeezed its eyes as if to say that that was true. 'Hagrid put you here, hasn't he?' The squid seemed to say that that was true.

'I should've known,' Severus said as he put his hand against the window and the squid touched it from the other side. 'Not as dangerous as we make you ought to be.'

Severus felt himself growing tired, and slumped down to the ground, leaning against the window. 'I should sleep,' he said lazily. 'I've got a team to let down tomorrow.'

'SEV!' Lily yelled as she barged into the lab. 'Where the hell are—oh.'

Severus had fallen asleep against the window, and had opened his eyes in a flash at Lily's yelling, pulling his wand in the progress.

'Woah,' Lily said as she held her hands up, 'there's no need for that.'

'Sorry,' Severus said as he quickly drew his wand back. 'Is there something going on?'

Lily looked at Severus with pure disbelief. 'I didn't see you at breakfast this morning,' she said sourly. 'So I thought that maybe you were up to something since it's my birthday, and then I didn't see you during Care of Magical Creatures either, and—'

Severus's eyes grew wide in horror. 'What time is it Lily?'

'It's time for you to get or your arse and run your way up to the quidditch pitch,' she sneered. 'The match is starting in less than ten minutes.'

Without thinking, Severus grabbed Evan's broom he kept near the door and sped off, Lily following closely behind him.

'What were you still doing in the lab, Sev?' Lily asked as they made their way to the grounds. Fortunately, the weather was dry and the sun was out, but it was freezing cold nonetheless.

'I couldn't sleep all night,' he said, 'and then I had a one sided conversation with the giant squid and then I fell asleep. Also, I fucked up the wolfsbane potion.'

'You did _what_?' Lily asked, looking horrorstruck.

'It may not be as fucked up as I think it is,' Severus said in an attempt to calm her down, 'but I accidently dropped some henbane into it.'

They had reached the quidditch pitch, and Severus had to go to the changing rooms. 'We'll talk about this after the match, alright?'

All Lily did was shoot him an ugly glare and made her way up a watchtower.

'Where the hell have you been?' Emma cried, but she looked more relieved than angry when she saw Severus walk in.

'Doesn't matter now,' Severus said as he quickly changed into the team's robes.

'I bet he was with Lily,' Regulus teased with wiggling eyebrows. 'Doing, you know—'

'Oh shut the fuck up Regulus,' Severus sneered at him, but got a little red in the face nonetheless. 'Let's just get this over with.'

The team walked outside and found the Hufflepuffs already waiting on the field. Frank and Emma shook hands, the whistle was blown, and both teams took off.

It took a while before Severus had the courage to go higher up, but eventually he got the hang of it and flew above the crowd. He spotted Lily among them, who had taken a passive aggressive stance by wrapping herself up in a Hufflepuff scarf, and frowned at him when their eyes met. She may be angry now, but Severus knew once his plan for her birthday came to light she'll forgive him.

Hufflepuff was quickly in the lead. Not that that was much of a surprise, as the new Slytherin beaters had a hard time chasing the Chasers, and they kept scoring one goal after the other.

He attempted somewhat to actively participate, but the other Chasers on his team didn't exactly bother to pass the quaffle over to him. Not that he could blame them, of course. Above him, he could see Frank and Emma search intensely for the snitch, and he got a feeling that Emma just wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

He didn't see it coming, but a bludger came flying at him and hit him square in the stomach, knocking him off the broom. The crowd gasped as Severus nearly tumbled down, but through survival instinct, an old trick he had once learned from the Dark Lord himself kicked in, and through unsupported flight he heaved himself back on the broom. The crowd went remarkably still afterwards. Too much for Severus's liking.

'What was that mate?' Frank yelled from above him, looking at Severus as he had just witnessed a miracle.

'I'm not sure,' said Severus, 'just keep playing.'

Both Frank and Emma must have spotted the snitch somewhere, as they both sped off towards the other side of the field. Frank, having much longer arms than Emma, had managed to reach for it just in time, and ended the match with an impressive victory for Hufflepuff.

The crowd cheered for Hufflepuff's victory, but all Severus could think about was how glad he was that it was over.

'What happened to you out there?' a grim looking Regulus asked as they met in the changing rooms.

'You mean other than the fact that I'm the worst Chaser in the history of Slytherin Chasers?' Severus sneered and quickly changed out of his quidditch robes as he didn't want to deal with a group of bitterly defeated Slytherins.

'Don't pretend you don't know, Severus,' said Regulus. 'We all saw you fall out there.'

'I don't know what you're talking about,' Severus responded dryly. 'Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a head to bang against a wall.'

Severus quickly made his way back to the castle, alone, as he didn't want to be seen or talk to anyone.

Once he entered the lab however, he found that he was not alone.

Sitting on his bed was Lily, who was playing with the curls of her hair until she looked up at Severus, and looked at him as if she was looking at a stranger.

'How did you get here so quickly?' Severus asked, taken aback by the mean glare in her eyes.

'I left right after your little _incident_ ,' Lily snapped back. 'Because I know you well enough that you'd run off right after people would start questioning you.'

'You're right about that,' said Severus with a lump in his throat.

'Care to tell me what happened, or are you just going to walk away with another lie?'

'Lily,' he said, feeling hurt, 'you know I would never walk away from you.'

He took the chance and sat down beside her on the bed, and he was glad that she didn't move away from him. 'I think it was just accidental magic, really.'

Lily looked at him in an unconvinced manner. 'I thought that only happened to little children.'

'Perhaps,' he said with a shrug. 'Perhaps not. Whatever it was, I don't know the answer to it either.'

Lily let out a sigh in defeat. 'Can you do me one favour, Sev?'

'Of course,' he said.

'Tell Dumbledore.'

'Is that your solution to everything? To just tell Dumbledore?'

'Isn't that your solution to nearly everything as well?'

Severus squinted his eyes at Lily. 'Sadly, yes.'

Lily cocked her head. 'Makes you realise just how much power Dumbledore has, doesn't it?' Makes you wonder what could happen if he was no longer around.'

Severus turned his face away from Lily, as if it was a way to hide the shame that was swirling in his mind. 'That would be a terrible thing,' he said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I'd like to believe that the giant squid is a kelpie that was once put there by Hagrid, though none of that is confirmed. Kelpies are rated XXXX by the ministry and considered quite dangerous, as they usually take on the form of a water horse and lure unsuspected travelers into the water and eat them. Hagrid probably thought this particular kelpie was as harmless as any other dragon.
> 
> A/N We only know of Severus and Voldemort being capable of unsupported flight, and Voldemort probably taught Severus how. Either way I like the idea of Severus having some sort of 'normal' fear, because otherwise he'll just be too good at everything he does, and I don't want him to be a Gary Stu.


	58. Lily's Sixteenth Birthday II

'But lets talk about something else shall we?' said Lily.

'Such as?' asked Severus, still feeling down after Lily's comment on Dumbledore.

'Like, who won the match? I didn't get to see it.'

'I think you already know the answer to that,' Severus said bitterly. 'We were butchered and Frank carried Hufflepuff to victory on a silver platter.'

'I'm scare to ask,' said Lily, 'but what's' the damage?'

'Three-hundred and twenty for them, versus thirty points for us.'

'Looks like Gryffindor still has a chance to win after all,' said Lily cheerfully.

'Why are you still wearing a Hufflepuff scarf?' Severus pointed out.

'Because I wanted to support Frank,' she said as she plucked at the fringes of the scarf around her neck.

'So you choose to support Frank over your best friend?' Severus said with a frown, but he couldn't help but smirk either.

'Oh shut up Sev,' Lily said playfully. 'It's not as if you give a shit about quidditch.'

'True that,'s aid Severus. 'I just hope Evan is well again before the next match against Ravenclaw. I wasn't cut out for this whole quidditch business.'

Lily couldn't help but laugh. 'No, you weren't cut out for it at all, but then again, neither am I.'

Severus playfully nudged her in the ribs. 'Are you still mad at me?'

Lily shook her head. 'Well, perhaps a little bit, but I'm more disappointed than angry to tell you the truth.'

'It's not the potion, is it?' Severus asked as he pointed at the potentially ruined wolfsbane potion in his cauldron. 'Because I swear, it was nothing more than an acci—'

'—No it's not the potion,' Lily cut him off. 'It's the fact that when I woke up this morning, you weren't there waiting by the Fat Lady's portrait.'

'Oh,' was all Severus could say.

'For the past four years you have always been waiting out there for my birthday to go do something together, and now I actually had to go to class.' The latter she said with a look of displeasure.

'You make it sound like skipping class is a good thing,' Severus said disapprovingly.

Lily's jaw dropped at his statement. 'Are you actually being serious right now?'

'What? Is something wr—'

'—For the past four years on my birthday,' Lily cited, 'you have always insisted on picking me up early in the morning and skip class if we had any, and went out to do fun things together, and now all of a sudden you have grown some moral conscious about it?'

Severus was at loss for words. After all those years he had entirely forgotten about their birthday tradition.

'I—I, well, you found me asleep here,' Severus stuttered. 'And, and I-I forgot.'

'So I noticed,' she said with a sour look on her face. 'You haven't even wished me a happy birthday yet.'

'Oh, I'm sorry,' Severus said in a sweet voice that was very unlike his own. 'Come here and let me make it up to you.'

Severus pulled Lily into an embrace and gave her a kiss on her cheek. 'There, happy birthday.'

Lily's cheeks started to glow a dark shade of red. 'Sev, you _never_ do that!' she shrieked.

'Do what?' Severus said with a grin as he stood up from the bed.

'Kiss me, or anyone else for the matter,' she responded with a giggle.

'I promise I'll make it up to you,' Severus said as he held out his hands. Lily put her hands in his and he helped her stand up from the bed. 'Is there anything you'd like to do?'

'I bet you don't want to sneak into the forbidden forest with me again?' she said with wiggling eyebrows.

'We did that in our second year, didn't we?' said Severus as recalled the memory.

'Yes we did,' said Lily, 'and then we met a herd of centaurs who told us to go back to school or else they'd tell Dumbledore.'

'So much for our adventurous spirit,' said Severus, snorting at how pathetic their attempt at being sneaky had been. 'But I've got an idea. How about we go nick some food from the kitchens, and go up to the Astronomy tower like we always do.'

'Don't we have class tonight though?'

'No,'said Severus. 'No we don't.'

…

As the rest of the school was having dinner in the great hall, Severus and Lily snuck their way to the kitchens.

'Go ahead, tickle the pear,' Severus said as they stood in front of the portrait.

Lily reached out for the pear, tickled it, and watched it transform into a doorknob.

As she opened the door, she was welcomed by the Young Order, including the new members, and surprisingly, Emma and Evan.

'Happy birthday Lily!' they all shouted in unison. A corner of the kitchen was decorated in birthday festivities. The table the group was sitting at was piled up with delicious looking food, and the house-elves were busying themselves to serve to everyone's needs.

All Lily could do was look in awe at the people who had all gathered to celebrate with her.

'Sev,' Lily said as she turned to him. 'Did you do this?'

Severus raised his shoulders at her question. 'Perhaps,' he said with a twinkle in his eye.

Lily immediately ran up to everyone that was sitting around the table. 'This is amazing!' she shrieked as she gave everyone a hug. 'And Evan, when did you get out of the hospital wing?'

Evan, who had a pair of crutches lying beside him, pressed his index finger against his lips. 'I'm technically not supposed to be here,' he said with a whisper. 'Madam Pomfrey doesn't know where I'm at.'

'Then I won't say a word,' Lily whispered back. 'It's good to see you here.'

'Who wants a butterbeer?' Potter asked. 'Wormtail and I got a whole supply fresh out of Hogsmeade!'

Severus hadn't realised it at first, but Sirius and Pettigrew had also shown up for the celebration. As Lily busied herself to converse with each person in the room, Severus took the opportunity to take a seat between Remus and Regulus.

'Oh thank you, Horton,' Regulus said as he grabbed a few uncorked butterbeers from the elf's hands. 'Guys you should meet Horton. He's a sweet house-elf.'

A timid, young looking elf with bright blue eyes was looking up at the men sitting around the table. 'Hello sirs,' Horton said shyly.

'Hello Horton,' Severus and Remus said as they waved at the elf. 'Thank you for the butterbeers.'

'At your service, sirs,' the elf said with a bow, and left to help out the other elves in the kitchen.

'We got a house-elf at home too you know,' said Regulus. 'His name's Kreacher and he's very old and a bit cranky, but I like him nonetheless.'

Severus knew Kreacher from his previous life, and remembered him mostly as a bitter old elf with supremacy issues.

'I've never had a house-elf,' said Remus, 'but they do seem like wonderful creatures.'

'They are,' said Reglus. 'If you treat them well that is. If you do they make the most loyal companions imaginable.'

'Severus,' Frank said from across the table. 'I managed to get the thing you asked me for.'

'Brilliant!' said Severus. 'Where did you put it?'

'Right over there,'said Frank as he pointed on a sheet covered object on another table. 'Need me to go get it?'

'Hold on just a little bit,' said Severus. 'There's some thing I need to do first.'

Severus stood up from the table. 'Remus,' Severus said, 'could you follow me please?'

Remus looked at Severus for a second, and then realised what Severus wanted to talk about. Together, they walked all the way across the other side of the kitchen, until they could sit in a place where they could not be overheard.

From his inner pocket, Severus pulled out a phial of the wolfsbane potion he had brewed. 'Take this,' Severus said as he handed over the potion to Remus. 'If you can keep it down I will give you the rest that you need to take every single day until the next full moon.'

Remus uncorked the phial and sniffed it. 'It smells disgusting,' Remus said with a turned up nose. 'Is the smoke supposed to happen?'

'I suppose it does,' Severus said with a shrug. 'Only one way to find out really.'

'What if it'll poison me though?' Remus said with a look of fear in his eyes.

'Remus,' Severus said in a serious tone, 'I thought about brewing up a bunch of antidotes just to be sure, and then I thought to myself, why should I if I can just shove a bezoar down your throat instead.'

Remus took another glance at the potion, contemplated it for a moment, and then took the risk by putting the phial to his lips and swallow the potion whole.

'That was disgusting,' Remus said with a gagging sound.

Severus observed Remus intently for a moment, but nothing bad seemed to be happening, and was relieved to see that the henbane hadn't messed it up.

'One more thing before we go join the rest of the party again Remus,' said Severus and he took the empty phial from Remus's hands, 'I want to be present on the day of your transformation.'

'Are you sure about that?' Remus asked.

'Not at all,' Severus said honestly. 'But I have to find out whether my potion has worked one way or another.'

'Then we'll arrange something when the full moon comes,' Remus said. 'Let's get back, shall we?'

Lily was happily chatting with everyone at the table when Severus and Remus came back.

'Lily,' Severus said to draw her attention. 'I have something for you.'

From a shelf in the herb supplies of the kitchens, Severus pulled out two packages. 'Yes I hid them here just in case you got too curious. This one came from your parents.'

Severus handed her the heavy package Erwin had sent to him.

Lily reached out and looked at it with delight. Lacking any patience, she ripped the paper, revealing the collective works of Edgar Allan Poe and H.P Lovecraft.

'Yes!' Lily cried in delight. 'I've asked mum and dad about this ages ago.'

'What is it?' Alice asked. 'Who're Poe and Lovecraft?'

'Lily handed over the heavy books. 'Two wonderful Muggle authors,' she said, still beaming with happiness. 'I've got to write my parents a thank you note.'

Severus scraped his throat. 'Excuse you Lily, I wasn't done yet.'

'I demand a speech!' yelled Regulus.

'Why would I give a speech?' Severus asked in confusion.

'Because you gathered us all here for a reason,' said Regulus. 'Therefore, I'd like to hear a speech.'

Severus wanted to argue, but the damage was already done. Everyone that had shown up for Lily's birthday had his or her eyes set on him.

'Ehm,' Severus said shyly, scratching his arm at how awkward it made him feel. 'I suppose I could.'

Severus was the only one standing, and kept his eyes focused on Lily, who seemed to look forward to hearing his entirely unprepared speech.

'I'd like to raise a toast,' Severus started off with by raising his butterbeer. 'To Lily Evans.'

Everyone else took a hold on their butterbeers. 'We've been friends for…roughly seven years now?' Severus said as he was quickly doing the math in his head. 'And as most people here know, the past couple of months have been one hell of a ride for me. The reason why I wanted to do something special for you is because, in a way, I wanted to say thank you.'

Lily was starting to get watery eyes, and Severus knew that she knew where this was going.

'So thank you, for taking me into your home when I lost my family, and also thank you for—' A lump Severus had not expected had started to form in his throat. 'Thank you for not giving up on me when I was giving up on myself.'

Severus put his butterbeer down, and Lily stood up from the table and walked around it to pull Severus into an embrace. 'I'll never give up on you, Sev,' she whispered to him so only he could hear. 'I promise.'

Severus quickly wiped away a tear that had started to form in his eye before they broke apart. 'I still have a gift for you,' he said as casually as he could.

From the same place he had kept the gift from her parents, he pulled out the square flat package that he had ordered by owl.

Lily took the gift from his hands and ripped it open, revealing a brand new record, and gasped as she saw the title.

'Is this the AC/DC band that I heard Sirius and Regulus talk about during music class?' Lily asked.

Both Black brothers were looking at it with eyes full of greed. 'Did he really—' was all Sirius could mutter to a defeated looking Potter.

Frank had taken the opportunity to reveal the gramophone he had been hiding. 'Tadaa!' said Frank. 'Professor McGonagall was kind enough to lend it to me.'

Lily seemed to be at loss for words, so Severus pointed her to the gramophone player and had her put the needle onto the record.

'This is brilliant, Sev!' Lily said with a squeal delight as the gramophone started to play magically. 'Thank you.'

As AC/DCs High Voltage album started playing, the whole group raised their butterbeers, and spend an evening full of fun and laughter. The war temporarily forgotten.


	59. Dumbledore's Return to Hogwarts

January turned into February. On Sunday, Frank and Lily had given their usual lesson to the Young Order. Secretly Severus had somewhat hoped that Sirius and Pettigrew would've joined up as well after the party. But no such luck. Evan had returned too. He had been released from hospital by a very frustrated matron after his escapade. He, however, wasn't up to teach the group Occlumency just yet.

On a positive note, Dumbledore had returned to the castle, meaning that Severus could meet up with the headmaster again by the following Monday.

For as far as possible, Severus had been following around Evan during the day. The only thing that Severus found peculiar was that Evan and Emma hardly seemed to be spending time together, as Evan retreated himself to the library after their final lesson in some dark corner surrounded by a pile of homework. Still, Severus wasn't going to let it go until he found some answers.

While Lily was spending some hours at the library with Frank for some remedial Herbology, Severus made his way back to the lab to work on some potions after giving up on Evan for the day. On his way back Severus encountered professor McGonagall, and signaled to her.

'I suppose our little quidditch bet is off,' he stated.

McGonagall peeked over her glasses and shifted her eyes around to make sure no one was listening. 'I suppose so, mister Snape,' she answered. 'I don't recall having an agreement on joining an actual team while the bet was on.'

'Me neither,' said Severus,' and yet I won despite joining the Slytherin team.'

A faint sparkle had started to glister in McGonagall's eyes. 'Mister Snape, even though I am unsure whether your victory can be counted as legitimate considering the circumstances, I could never teach you how to become an Animagi until you are off age.'

Classic McGonagall, Severus thought to himself. Always able to find loopholes in the strict rules she supposedly upholds. Maybe that's why she had been sorted into Gryffindor rather than Ravenclaw.

'Perfectly understandable, professor,' said Severus with a nod. 'And besides, the ministry would never allow me to unless I had a good reason to become one, which I honestly do not have.'

'Then you better start thinking about having a very good reason, mister Snape,' said McGonagall with a twinkle in her eye. 'Have a good day.'

'You too, professor,' Severus said before she left, and he made his way to the lab.

Severus had thought about whether he wanted to tell Dumbledore about his ability to fly without a broom, but knowing Dumbledore, he wouldn't consider it relevant. The Dark Lord had once attempted to teach all of the Death Eaters within his inner circle how to use unsupported flight in combat, but his attempts had been in vain since only he had managed to learn how.

Aside from that, Severus knew that Dumbledore either had yet another memory to show him, or had acquired more information regarding whatever was going on at the Ministry. After dinner he made his way towards Dumbledore's office, where he was once more welcomed with a mug of hot tea.

'It's good to see you have returned, Headmaster,' he said as he sat down.

'And it is good to be back,' said Dumbledore in response. The relief of no longer being at the Ministry was prominent in his words.

'Are there any important things I have missed out on over the past few days?' Dumbledore asked.

'A few,' Severus answered. 'I managed to create the wolfsbane potion for Remus Lupin, and he's now taking it on a daily basis until the next full moon.'

'I take it you would want to observe the fruit of your work?' Dumbledore asked.

'I do,' said Severus, 'And I do plan on taking the risk of joining him inside the Shrieking Shack when the day comes.'

'It is good to see that you have faith in your potion brewing abilities, Severus,' Dumbledore said with a smile, 'but promise me you will not go there alone.'

'I will,' Severus assured him.

'Is there anything else that I need to know about, Severus?'

'Not particularly,' Severus responded. 'I replaced Evan Rosier on the Slytherin quidditch team after what happened in Hogsmeade. Needless to say I did it once and will never do it again.'

'Not that much of a team player are you, Severus?' Dumbledore asked.

'Absolutely not,' Severus confirmed. 'Which reminds me, how come Mulciber and Avery are still attending school?'

Dumbledore twirled the mug of tea in his hands. 'I will admit that I have contemplated expulsion, until I reminded myself that if I had, both of them would have been bound to serve Lord Voldemort. For as long as they remain in school however, they can be kept from the temptation to join the Death Eaters.'

'I suppose you are right about that I've also been keeping an eye on Evan Rosier. Trying to find out what Bellatrix Black and Malfoy were looking for since they made it so clear that it was something he has in his possession.'

'Have you had any luck so far?'

'No luck so far, but I'm not giving up yet,' said Severus. 'Do you mind if I ask what it is you were doing at the ministry, sir?'

'As you may know Severus, there is a bit of a crisis going on at the ministry at the moment.'

'Are they dealing with an infiltration?' Severus asked curiously.

Dumbledore nodded. 'More and more Death Eaters are walking among the Ministry personnel without their knowledge,' he said sadly. 'There is at least one arrest happening every other day.'

'And do you have any news regarding Lucius Malfoy?'

Dumbledore shook his head. 'Sadly, I do not. Mister Malfoy is quickly gaining an important status within the Ministry and has Crouch to back him up whenever needed.'

'More like buying his way into the ministry,' Severus mumbled under his breath.

'I take it you have received a message from Mister Evans by now?' Dumbledore asked, ignoring Severus's complaints.

'I did, and is it safe to assume you are in contact with him as well?'

'That is a safe assumption to make,'said Dumbledore. 'And with that, I can also tell you that there is no news regarding your father. All we know is that he's in prison, and sober, and till this day does not remember how he ended up in town after what he did to you and your mother.'

Severus looked down at his hands. 'Do you think we'll ever find the answer, Albus?' he said somberly.

'I am afraid I cannot answer you that,' said Dumbledore, 'but I do bear some good news with me if you are willing to hear that.'

Severus nodded. 'Please do.'

'I have managed to trace down the ring of the Gaunt family that we saw in the memories. It is still hidden inside the house where Riddle stole it, protected by very powerful spells.'

'And you do believe you can retrieve it, sir?' Severus asked.

'Not any day soon,' Dumbledore said with a hint of disappointment. 'I suggest you and I will go there after school is done for this year. I am quite positive that ring is not going to go anywhere until that time.'

A faint smile formed on Severus's face. 'It's a start.'

Dumbledore put his empty mug down on the desk. 'Severus, this is the first time that I am going to give you an assignment.'

'And what would that assignment be, sir?'

'I need you to talk to professor Slughorn, and find a way to retrieve a particular memory.'

Severus sat up straight, interested in what Dumbledore was about to say.

'As you may know, professor Slughorn is one of the few teachers who were around when Tom Riddle was a student himself. Now, professor Slughorn and Riddle at the time had a close relationship.'

'Are you saying that professor Slughorn may know something in particular about the Dark Lord we don't know?' Severus asked.

'That is exactly what I am saying Severus,' said Dumbledore, 'and it is your job to find out what that is.'

'That's a bit vague, isn't it?' said Severus, a little confused at Dumbledore's cryptic assignment.

'I'm afraid so,' said Dumbledore. 'You know how much professor Slughorn likes particularly talented and influential people, and I would not be surprised if at some point he may have told Riddle a little too much about something he never should have spoken of.'

'I will do what I can, sir,' he said, unsure on how he could possibly start a conversation regarding the Dark Lord with Slughorn without scaring him away.

'I have faith in you, Severus,' Dumbledore said in a genuine tone of voice. 'I do not expect you to have a memory by next week, but I still want to invite you to come to me for another session.'

'And what exactly would we do, sir?'

'I want to meet up with you at the edge of the Forbidden Forest near Hagrid's hut after you are done with your classes. I will tell you all about my plan when we get there.'

Severus shot him a confused look, but it went unanswered from Dumbledore's side.

'I suppose it's time for me to leave,' Severus said as he drained his tea, and stood up from behind the desk.

'Until next week,' Dumbledore said as he stood up as well.

Severus was about to open the door when Dumbledore called out to him. 'Oh and Severus, next time you feel the need to throw a party in the kitchens, at least make sure the rest of the staff cannot hear it.'

Judging by the sparkle in Dumbledore's eye, Severus could tell the old man was anything but angry with him. However, Severus couldn't help but feel some shame wash over his face. 'I promise I will keep it down next time, sir.'

'Good,' said Dumbledore. 'Now you may go.'

…

'How did it go?' Lily asked as she saw Severus entering the lab. She was hanging over her cauldron of Felix Felicis, stirring it slowly. 'Did you get to talk about that thing you did during the match?'

'Very briefly,' Severus answered as he sat down beside her. 'We talked about a couple of things, including what is going at the ministry at the moment.' Severus told Lily a summary of everything he and Dumbledore had talked about, minus his assignment on retrieving a memory from Slughorn.

'So Malfoy is basically inviolable,' Lily said with a look of disgust. 'That way we'll never find out what he was after.'

Severus shrugged at her comment. 'All I can do is keep an eye on Evan and see if he's willing to spill the beans at some point.'

'I hope so,' said Lily sadly, 'because I think him and Emma have officially split up.' 'Right after dinner,' Lily added. 'Said he just wanted to be left alone and write, and I think that was Emma's breaking point.'

Severus closed his eyes in order to think. Evan was starting to look more and more like Severus's old self, except that Evan was fighting against what the Dark Lord stood for, rather than fighting for a way to be accepted by them like he had done himself.

Lily's voice pulled him back out of his thought process. 'What do you think, Sev?' she asked as she pointed at her Felix Felicis.

'So far so good, I think,' said Severus with a nod of approval. 'Maybe you should massage your wrist a bit from all the stirring. Your movements are getting stiff.'

'I got to say,' said Lily as she put her spatula down and massaged her wrist, 'I'm glad to see you are doing so well despite everything that has happened to you over the past few months.'

'Thanks,' Severus mumbled shyly.

'I really mean it though,' Lily added. 'It takes a lot of strength to keep standing after all you've been through, and I think that's very brave.'

Severus leaned in and rested his head on her shoulder. 'I owe it all to you.'


	60. Putting Trust in Being Bindfolded

Severus had attempted twice over the course of the week to speak with Slughorn after class, but it was a lot harder to than Severus had anticipated. Mainly because after the lesson the group had to quickly scrub and clear out their workstations, and make haste to their next lesson of the day. It's a good thing Dumbledore wasn't pressuring him into obtaining the memory as soon as possible, and thought perhaps if Slughorn were to organize another Slug party any day soon, it would be a better opportunity to sweet talk the man into giving memories.

Evan had been able to teach the Young Order more on Occlumency by Sunday. Or better said, explain the theory of Occlumency, as it is considered a most complicated branch of magic. So far, Severus had not needed to prod inside anyone's mind just yet, and that suited him just fine.

It had been Lily who had managed to corner Evan and strike a conversation regarding his relationship with Emma. She didn't manage to get much information out of him other than that he was annoyed by Emma's consistent concern for his wellbeing. When Lily had tried to bring up what had happened in Hogsmeade, Evan had turned around and took off without saying another word.

By Monday though, the only thing that was occupying Severus's mind was what Dumbledore had in store for him at the Forbidden Forest.

'Meeting up with Dumbledore are ye?' Hagrid asked.

Severus had just made his way to Hagrid's hut after his Ancient Runes class. 'Yes I am,' he answered as he looked around for Dumbledore. 'Are you coming with us into the forest?'

'Not today,'said Hagrid. 'I'm just here to make sure yer both back before nightfall.'

'Do you have any idea what Dumbledor's plan is though?' Severus asked, still a little confused about the whole situation.

'Dunno,' Hagrid said with a shrug. 'But whatever it is, Dumbledore must've a good reason for it.'

In the distance Severus could see Dumbledore approaching. Clad in a deep purple cloak that shimmered in the winter sun, Dumbledore never failed to strike an impressive image.

As Dumbledore drew closer however, Severus could tell the old man was carrying something with him over his shoulder.

'Good afternoon headmaster,' Severus said as Dumbledore came up to him.

'Good afternoon Severus,' Dumbledore said with a smile.

A creaking noise from behind Severus indicated that Hagrid had retreated himself inside his hut, meaning that whatever Dumbledore was up to, even Hagrid was not supposed to know about it.

'Mind if I ask why you brought a tea towel with you, sir?' Severus asked, wondering if Dumbledore was perhaps starting to become forgetful.

'Just follow me,' was all Dumbledore said as he marched into the woods, Severus following closely behind him.

'Over the past few weeks,' Dumbledore said as he started rolling up the tea towel, 'I have noticed that you seem to have some trust issues.'

Severus was starting to get a nauseated feeling in his stomach at the sight of the towel. 'To be honest with you, sir, when you volunteered to be my counsellor I did not expect to be receiving actual counselling.'

'I had to make sure that it was something you truly needed,' Dumbledore said, now holding up the towel in front of him. 'And as it turns out, you do.'

'If you plan on blindfolding me, I'm afraid I must decline,' Severus answered with a hint of sourness.

The very thought of having to walk through the woods with a blindfold make him want to turn around and run back to the castle, but he stayed put, as Dumbledore's intentions were more curious than his fear.

'How come it frightens you so much, Severus?'

In all fairness, Severus had to dig far to find a proper answer to that question. 'Because I rely on my vision for my own safety, sir,' he answered with uncertainty.

The corners of Dumbledore's mouth turned up a little, as if he had expected to hear such an answer. 'That makes perfect sense,' he said, 'and I suppose you also rely on your vision because of your mother.'

Severus frowned at Dumbledore's comment. 'What does my mother have to do with this?'

'Your mother, Severus, relied entirely on her ability to see because she could not hear, and it is likely that because of her you have taken over that trait.'

'And what exactly is it that you try to achieve by covering my eyes?' Severus said sharply.

'You do not trust me, do you Severus?' Dumbledore asked, unable to hide the disappointment in his eyes.

Severus bit his lip for too long to make up a lie. 'I'm conflicted,' he admitted, 'to what extend I can or cannot trust you.'

'By blindfolding you,' Dumbledore explained, 'I take away the one thing you rely on, and ask you to trust me to guide you through the forest.'

Severus quickly looked around, analyzing the environment in which he was standing in. Hagrid's hut was now obscured by a couple of thick trees.

'I will try,' Severus said as he gave in. 'But I can't promise you that I will keep it on to whatever place you're taking me.'

Dumbledore nodded in understanding. 'Close your eyes, Severus, and try to relax,' he said as he held the towel near Severus's face.

Severus closed his eyes but couldn't help but ball up his hands into fists. As the world darkened around him, Severus repeated over and over again in his mind that he could just take off the blindfold if it got the better of him.

'Can you see anything?' Dumbledore asked.

Severus shook his head. 'Blind as a bat,' he said, betraying his fear by a quiver in his voice.

'Good,' Dumbledore said in satisfaction. 'Then follow me by the sound of my voice.'

The uneven soil of the forest made it difficult to balance. 'Could you please tell me where we're going?' he asked nervously, trying hard not to trip over branches that weren't there.

'Nowhere in particular,' said Dumbledore.

'I don't like the idea of not having a set destination,' Severus snapped back.

'There is no set destination,' Dumbledore said calmly, 'other than returning to the castle later this afternoon.'

'So tell me Severus,' Dumbledore continued, 'how are things between you and miss Evans?'

'That seems a little personal, don't you think?' Severus sneered, unable to keep himself calm.

'It did not seem so personal when you came to me the first time around at the beginning of the school year,' said Dumbledore.

Severus felt a cold shiver run down his spine. 'I think her and I are doing just fine,' Severus said with great difficulty. 'She doesn't hate me. That has to count for something.'

It must have taken Dumbledore a little too long to respond, as Severus was feeling that he was about to have a nervous breakdown. 'Please keep talking to me,' he begged.

'Do you feel any panic rising up, Severus?' Dumbledore asked in a voice of concern. Severus could tell Dumbledore was standing in front of him by the sound of his voice, and stopped walking.

'I'm not sure,' said Severus, shaking by the cold that was surrounding him. 'I don't know where I am.'

Dumbledore placed a hand on Severus's shoulder. 'I am right here,' he said kindly but firmly, 'try to listen to the things you hear around you.'

'I don't know what's around me,' Severus said fearfully. 'I don't know what's behind me and I don't know what is lurking at me in this forest.'

'Nothing is lurking at you, Severus,' said Dumbledore. 'I need you to trust me on that.'

All Severus could do was shake his head. The darkness he had been fighting against was slowly starting to take over his sanity.

Subconsciously Severus had started to scratch himself, and was thoroughly tempted to pull off the blindfold, as if it were the only thing that was trapping the darkness inside of him.

'Please do not hurt yourself, Severus,' Dumbledore said as he gently pulled Severus's arms apart. 'Before I take off the blindfold for you, could you please tell me what you hear.'

'I don't know,' Severus gritted through his teeth. 'All I hear are loud screeching noises and falling branches and I hear _something_ in the distance it frightens me because I don't know what is coming.'

'I am going to take of your blindfold now,' said Dumbledore. 'Make sure you open your eyes slowly so they can adjust to the light.'

Severus didn't open his eyes just yet after Dumbledore removed the blindfold, but he could feel the sunrays shine through his eyelids, and even the idea of no longer being blinded calmed him down just a little.

'Can you tell where we are?' Dumbledore asked.

As Severus carefully opened his eyes, he noticed that Hagrid's hut was only a stone throw away of where they were standing.

'We haven't left the edge of the forest, have we?' Severus asked, ashamed that the noises that had frightened him had come from Hagrid's hut all along.

'We never left,' Dumbledore admitted. 'You are looking exactly at the only bit of forest we walked through.'

The area only covered a small amount of trees. The soil was covered in old leaves, twigs, and several patches of snow, but otherwise, nothing frightening.

'This is it?' Severus asked dumbfounded. 'This is all we covered?'

'This is it,' Dumbledore repeated. He turned to Severus and looked him deep in the eye. 'I cannot ask of you to trust me fully right away after this, but what I do wish to see, is that you now understand that you carry a fear inside you that does not belong there.'

It was painful to reflect on. By having his vision taken away, walking around in a circle at the edge of the forest had nearly driven him to the edge of insanity.

'I want to try this again with you next week,' said Dumbledore. 'Feel free to talk to miss Evans about this if you want. I think she would like to know what goes on inside her friend.'

…

'So he really blindfolded you with a tea towel?' Lily asked as she unpacked her guitar from the case.

'Yes, and then I freaked out, and then I found out we never really went far into the forest after all,' said Severus while tuning up his bass.

'I got to admit Sev,' said Lily, 'I'm actually glad to see that Dumbledore is doing more than just talking with you at his office.'

'I just don't like being confronted with myself this way,' Severus responded irritably.

Lily put her guitar down on a standard and walked up to Severus. 'I think it's a good thing you are being confronted,' said Lily as she looked him in the eye. 'Difficult as it may be.'

Lily took the bass from his hands and placed it on his bed. 'Do you mind?'

Lily took a step forward to stand close to him, and gently she placed her hands over his eyes. 'Would you still be afraid if I had to guide you through the dark?' she asked.

Severus placed his own hands over hers, and held felt the warmth of her hands on his fingers. He could hear her breathing softy through her nose, and caught a whim of her familiar musky scent. 'I will always follow you into the dark.'


	61. James Potter Interrupted

'I'm going to give it another try,' Potter said with an air of confidence.

'Maybe you should just give her a break Prongs,' Pettigrew said with a growl. 'Nobody likes to deal with an overly confident person.'

'You know what Wormtail,' Potter said irritably, 'maybe you should—'

'—ehm ehm,' Severus interrupted in a very Umbridge like manner. 'Mind if I join you?'

At lunch, the four marauders were having a vivid conversation, or rather just Potter, talking about how he wanted to ask Lily out on a date again.

At first Severus tried to ignore it, glad that Lily wasn't around to hear it since she was at the library with Mary, looking over some homework. Potter's annoying advances on asking Lily out of a date again however, were starting to get on his nerves.

Severus sat down next to Remus without waiting for an answer, and looked Potter straight in the eye. 'So tell me _Potter_ ,' Severus spat, 'why is it that you want to ask Lily out on a date, _again_?'

'What's it to you _Snape_?' Potter spat back.

'Lily is my friend,' Severus said as he collected his self-restraint. 'And as her friend I feel somewhat morally obliged to protect her from people she doesn't want near her. People like you, for example.'

'And what exactly makes you think she doesn't want me near her, Snape?' Potter responded angrily. 'Her and I get along just fine!'

'Tell me Potter,' he said as he leaned in closer. 'What exactly is it about Lily that intrigues you so much?'

Potter took a moment to respond, which was a moment too long for Severus's liking.

'Well, she's pretty and—'

'—That's it?' Severus interrupted and rolled his eyes. 'That's the first thing you can come up with? That she's pretty...'

'Well she is, alright,' Potter sneered back. 'And she's quite clever, and funny…'

Severus couldn't help but look sheepishly at Potter. 'You are so shallow,' he said, trying to suppress a laugh. 'Is that truly all you see in her?'

'I just want to get to know her better, Snape,' said Potter. 'Is it really that weird to want to go on a date with her for that?'

Sirius, who had been listening to the conversation attentively with growing concern, decided he had enough of it.

'You know what, Snape,' Sirius barked at him, 'If you really care so much about Evans as you say you do, why don't _you_ ask her out on a date?'

At that, Severus could no longer suppress his laughter. 'Don't you see Black, unlike your prancing friend here, I don't need to ask Lily out on date to get to know her better.'

'Isn't that kind of like the way to do it though?' Pettigrew asked, who clearly had tried to avoid getting involved in the discussion as he was still chewing on food. 'Go on dates. Get to know someone.'

'The thing is, Potter,' Severus explained as he ignored Pettigrew's statement, 'is that I know for a fact that Lily and I are connected on a deeper level than you and her ever will.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' Potter asked with a frown.

'It means,' said Severus, 'that unlike you, Lily and I grew up together. We met by sheer coincidence at the age of nine and I have been blessed that I got to witness her grow from a young girl into the lady she is today.'

All Potter did was stare at Severus in confusion.

'Potter,' Severus continued, 'what I am trying to say is, is that no matter how many dates you would have with her, and no matter now much she will tell you about herself, you will never know her the way that I do.'

'Do you really think I care about that?' Potter said with a snort. 'I'm not exactly looking for "emotional connections" like you are if you know what I mean.'

Severus was thoroughly tempted to grab Potter by the collar of his shirt and bang his head against the table, but decided to wrap his hands tightly around the bench he was sitting on to prevent that from happening.

All Severus could do was shake his head. 'Do me a favour, Potter,' said Severus as carefully as he could without snapping, 'and leave her alone.'

'Seriously, Snape,' said Potter, 'I'm just going to ask her on a date. I'm not forcing myself onto her.'

'Could you two stop, please,' Remus intervened. 'Prongs, like Severus said, don't be shallow,' he said as he pointed his fork at him. 'And Severus, you don't get to decide who Lily does and does not go out with.'

Severus narrowed his eyes at Remus after his comment. 'I am well aware of that,' he sneered.

Remus stood up from the table. 'Follow me, Severus,' Remus demanded.

'Where would we go?' Severus asked in confusion.

'We got Care of Magical Creatures in a bit anyway,' Remus said as he put his cloak on. 'So just follow me.'

Leaving three confused looking marauders behind at the table, Severus and Remus headed outside.

'Sorry about James,' Remus said.

'Who are you to apologize for your friend's stupidity?' Severus asked.

'Because someone has to,' Remus responded. Instead of heading to the usual Care of Magical Creatures spot, Remus took the lead and walked towards the quidditch pitch.

'Please don't tell me you are planning on skipping class?' Severus asked.

'Well what if I am?' said Remus. 'Will you join me or not?'

Severus was looking up at the watchtower him and Remus had both sat several months before. 'I will follow you.'

As they both sat down on a bench, Remus pulled out a pack of cigarettes from is coat and offered one to Severus. 'Don't feel pressured if you don't want to.'

Reluctantly, Severus took one. 'You didn't strike me as the type, Remus.'

Severus lit the cigarette with a snap of his fingers, while Remus lit his with a Muggle lighter.

'I prefer to smoke when I'm alone,' said Remus.

'Good to hear that my mere presence still makes you feel alone,' Severus said dryly.

Remus let out a growl. 'You know what I mean Severus.'

'Why did you take me here, Remus?' Severus asked. 'Because I can't think of any reason other than you having something personal to share.'

'Yes, and no,' Remus answered. 'I—' but Remus stopped himself from talking, as if he was too afraid of what might follow.

'Just spit it out,' said Severus. 'It's not as if we have any Crups to look after.'

Remus blew smoke from his lungs and recollected himself. 'To be honest with you, Severus, I'm—I'm quite jealous of what you and Lily share.'

Severus took a moment to take a good look at Remus. Remus always seemed to act entirely different when he wasn't hanging around with his friends. More modest, but also more insecure.

'Lily is not my girlfriend,' said Severus.

At that, Remus let out a snort. 'She's as good as, the way the two of you act around each other.'

Despite of himself, Severus couldn't help but feel his temperature rise a little. 'We're not together, Lily and I.'

Remus put up a smile. 'Whatever you want to call it what you and Lily have, I just hope that someday there will be someone like that for me.'

Severus had a flashback to his old life, remembering how Remus had ended up with that incredibly clumsy Tonks lady and had a son together. Not that that was something he could mention out loud, but a part of him still wished he could reassure Remus one way or another.

'You made a compelling argument back there,' Remus continued. 'Against James.'

'Of what?' Severus said bitterly. 'That Potter's got a thick head or that he's a shallow git?'

Remus shrugged at Severus's words. 'There's that,' Remus said neither confirming nor denying, 'but I meant the fact that he will never know Lily the way you do.'

'That is true,' said Severus. As the thought of Lily took over his mind, he couldn't help but smile a little. 'She's been a part of my life for so long it is difficult to imagine one without her.'

It was a lie, of course, as Severus knew very well how a life without Lily looked like. It hadn't been a life worth living in the dark.

'On the fifteenth,' Remus said as he scraped his throat, 'next Sunday, is the next full moon, and you mentioned something about wanting to observe me.'

'I did,' said Severus. 'I need to know whether my potion has worked or not.'

'Then I will ask my friends if they can guide you, and,' Remus swallowed hard, 'protect you in case anything goes wrong.'

Severus shot Remus a sour look. 'Are you sure they're still willing to do so after that little _incident_ last year?'

'They'll do it for me,' Remus said in such a way that he wasn't sure about that at all.

'It's a good thing I'm rather skilled when it comes to defending myself,' said Severus. 'I learned from the best.'

Remus turned a bright shade of red in the face, probably thinking that Severus meant he had to learn to defend himself because of the marauder's relentless bullying.

'Will you be able to make it to the Young Order meeting?' Severus asked to turn the conversation.

'I think so,' said Remus. 'Although I'll probably feel like a wet kitchen rag by then. Want another cigarette?'

Severus took one and lit it with a snap of his fingers.

'Where did you learn how to do that?' Remus asked, curious at Severus's ability to use wandless magic.

'Lily taught me, actually,' said Severus with a hint of pride. 'Want to learn how?'

'Yes, yes I would like that,' Remus said enthusiastically. 'It looks pretty neat.'

It didn't take long before Remus got the hang of how it worked. 'First time I've ever used wandless magic,' Remus said in such a way it was clear he was proud of himself.

'Just out of curiosity, Severus,' Remus asked carefully, 'but what is it that you see in Lily that James can't see?'

'You got some guts to ask me that,' said Severus, 'but I will be honest with you.'

Severus blew the smoke from his lungs and spoke of the first thing that came to mind. 'You see, when I first met Lily, when we were nine, she got angry with me because I called her a witch, as she thought I was calling her bad name, and she ran off.' A smile formed on Severus's lips at the recall of the memory. 'I thought I would never see her again until she showed up a few days later and apologized, and wondered if I was speaking the truth after all. It was then that I learned just how forgiving she can be.'

Severus was looking straight at the quidditch field as his mind wandered off.

'Go on,' Remus said as he looked at Severus. 'There has got to be more.'

'Well, when I met her parents for the first time they, although I didn't realise it back then, took me into their home and accepted me for who I am. The moment I set foot over that threshold Lily and her family accepted me as a part of their family.'

'And now you're actually living with them,' said Remus.

'Due to some very unfortunately circumstances,' Severus added sadly, 'but still…Oh and when she found out my mother was deaf,' Severus continued, 'the first thing she did was learn how to communicate with her by spending hours upon hours with me by the riverside, just to get every gesture right, and it made me understand just how patient she is.'

Severus couldn't help but smile as he was travelling inside his mind at all the little things he associated with Lily, and Remus couldn't help but smile back at him.

'There are a million other things about her,' Severus said, 'but the most wonderful thing about Lily, is that even when I made all the wrong choices, she did not give up on me. But I also know,' Severus said a little more seriously, 'that even her forgiving nature has an end.'

'You nearly lost her, haven't you?' Remus asked.

'I think I may have lost her for a while,' Severus said, now looking down at the ground. 'But I found a way back to her, and thats all that matters.'

'For what it's worth, Severus,' said remus as he patted Severus on the shoulder in a friendly manner, 'I do hope that someday she will be more than just your friend.'

Severus had to snort at Remus's remark. 'I expected you would rather see James finally hook up with her after his many feeble attempts at wooing her.'

'That's kind of hard to do when all he can say about her is that she's pretty,' Remus admitted, 'when she is clearly so much more than that.'

'Thanks,' Severus said sincerely.

'Can I asked you something very personal?' Remus asked.

'Haven't you been doing that all along?' Severus said dryly. 'But sure, just ask.'

'Do you love her, Severus?'

For a split moment Severus wondered if that was something he was willing to share, but decided that after all the other things he had confided to Remus, he may as well be honest about this too.

'More than anything.'


	62. Prodding in People's Minds is a Dangerous Thing

'I still can't believe you and Remus got detention,' Lily said laughingly as they were working on homework in the lab.

Severus mumbled something inaudible back.

'What was that?' Lily asked, unable to wipe the smirk off her face.

'I still got blisters on my hands,' Severus growled.

Severus and Remus had been caught by professor McGonagall after they skipped out on their Care of Magical Creatures class, and had been serving detention all Friday night in the potion's classroom, scrubbing out grease from cauldrons by hand.

'Like my drawing of a Crup?' he asked as he held up a sketch for Lily to see.

'You would've known more details if you had shown up for class,' Lily said while looking at Severus's sad excuse of a drawing. 'Those poor two little Crups. They had no one to play with.'

'If you're trying to make me feel bad,' Severus said sourly, 'it's not working.'

Lily's eyes met with Severus for a moment, and looked as if she decided to give in. 'You go looking for some Essence of Murtlap, and I'll polish up that atrocity you just drew up there.'

Severus didn't need to think twice about taking up Lily's offering. Quickly he made his way to Slughorn's storeroom and rummaged through it to find the phial of murtlap essence.

'Good evening, mister Snape,' said a jolly voice from behind him. Professor Slughorn was leaning against the doorframe, watching Severus struggle to carry the phial of murtlap down the ladder. 'You know you could just accio the phial to you if you can't reach it?'

Severus stopped turned around. 'I'll admit I didn't think of that.'

'Just let me take that from you,' Slughorn said as he reach out.

Severus handed over the phial and made his way down. 'Thank you, professor.'

'Too bad it had been a while since all those cauldrons had a good scrub,' Slughorn said, handing back the phial of murtlap. 'It must've taken forever before you had them all cleaned.'

Severus held up his left hand that was covered in blisters. 'I must say professor,'said Severus, 'it's been a while since I've actually _received_ a detention, and I don't plan on putting myself through that again.'

'Well in that case you've learned your lesson,' Slughorn said with a faint smile. 'Are you heading back to the lab?'

'Yes I am,' said Severus. 'Working on some homework with miss Evans, and tomorrow I'm going to find out whether or not my potion for mister Lupin isn't a complete disaster.'

'Good, and,' Slughorn said a little reluctantly, 'I don't mind it if you and miss Evans share the lab to work on potions and what not, just promise me you won't do anything, _irrational_.'

Severus couldn't help but look wide-eyed at Slughorn's remark. 'No sir, I won't,' Severus answered stiffly. 'Have a good day.'

With the phial of murtlap tucked underneath his arm Severus quickly sped off back to the lab.

'What happened to you?' Lily asked after she saw Severus's perplexed look on his face. 'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

'I see those on a daily basis, funny enough,' said Severus. 'But I just bumped into Slughorn as I was searching through his supplies.'

As Severus slumped down in his seat Lily had grabbed a bowl for the murtlap. He poured the essence into the bowl, placed his hand in it, and let out a sigh of relief.

'Did he frighten you or something?' Lily asked.

Severus bit his lower lip, wishing he hadn't mentioned it at all, and shook his head. 'He told me not to be… _irrational_ …since we spend so much time together in the lab.'

Lily's mouth fell open in disbelief. 'Did he _actually_ say that to you?'

Severus nodded, and felt his face glow a little red despite his best efforts to suppress it.

Lily burst out in a fit of giggles. 'Oh that's embarrassing Sev…'

'You're not helping by laughing about it you know,' he said with a growl. 'But speaking of embarrassing things, has Potter asked you out on a date again by any chance?'

'Yes he did,' Lily said nonchalantly. 'Last night actually, before I headed to bed.'

The murlap wasn't soothing enough for Severus to feel the tension build up in his hands again. 'I told him to leave you alone,' he said angrily.

'I don't think he took the hint,' Lily said with a shrug. 'Either way, I told him no, like I always do.'

'I warned him,' Severus said with a voice that made it clear he still hadn't calmed down. 'I told him not to bother you, and yet he did.'

'How come it bothers you so much, Sev?' she asked with a grin.

'Wouldn't it bother you if someone asked me out all the time when I clearly don't want to?' Severus said in disbelief.

'You make a fair point there,' Lily admitted.

'I just don't want to see you get hurt Lily,' said Severus, 'that is all.'

…

Severus was growing more and more concerned with Evan. At first he assumed Evan's sullenness had to do with him and Emma's breakup, but rather than seeing Evan climb out of his misery, he was falling further and further into the emotional hole he was digging.

During the meeting with the Young Order, Evan felt it was time for Severus to prod in someone's mind to see if anyone was able to shut him out. At the mention of that, everyone seemed reluctant to volunteer for the first try.

Severus was tempted to call Potter forward and jam his way through everything that Potter associated with Lily, but it was Frank who eventually gave in and volunteered.

'Now remember,' Evan said to Frank, 'don't get frightened if you see memories coming up. Just try to relax and push them back.'

Frank nodded in understanding and readied himself by standing opposite of Severus.

Non-verbally, Severus casted the Legilimency spell on Frank, and saw images of Frank chasing after the snitch, of him and Lily working on Herbology, of him and Alice sneaking off into an empty classroom and…

'Really Frank?' Severus cried out in horror. 'This is not the way to push people out of your mind!'

Frank's face was turning a fine shade of red. 'Sorry,' he mumbled, unsure of what to say.

Severus growled to himself. 'Seriously Frank, spare me the details of your love life.'

Alice, Mary and Lily had burst into a fit of giggles. 'Looks like it worked though,' Alice said, unable to contain herself.

'I suppose you don't want to give it another try, Severus?' Frank asked carefully.

'No, I do not,' Severus said boldly. 'I wish there was such a thing as a rag for the mind so I could wipe away the filth you just put in it.'

Frank bit his lower lip, took his place back in the circle, and hid behind a still giggling Alice.

'Regulus,' said Severus. 'Are you up for it?'

With an air of confidence Regulus stood up and faced Severus. 'Just throw it at me, I can take it.'

Severus casted the spell on Regulus and saw images of him playing wizard's chess with his house-elf, of being sorted into Slytherin, of watching how Sirius got hit by their father through a creak of his bedroom door…

Then, for a moment everything went black, and Severus saw Regulus standing opposite of him again, catching his breath.

Regulus opened his mouth, but no sound came out, and closed it again. He was no longer standing up straight with the same confidence he always carried with him, but looked troubled and defeated instead.

'Reg—'

'—Don't mention it, Severus,' Regulus cut him off.

Severus nodded in understanding. 'You managed to force me out on your first try,' said Severus. 'That's a remarkable feat.'

'Thanks,' Regulus mumbled. 'I got cousin Bella to thank for that.'

Regulus turned around and sat back down in the circle, not wanting to look anyone in the eye.

Everyone else in the group may not have seen what went on inside Regulus's mind, but it was obvious that it wasn't anything as remotely as innocent as Frank's love life.

'I suppose no one wants to volunteer anymore for today,' said Severus. 'But I do hope that you now all understand why it is so important to be able to close your mind.'

'Shall we just call it a day?' Frank suggested to the group.

Everyone seemed to agree that it would be for the best. Mary was to first one to walk out with Regulus by her side, followed by Frank and Alice.

'Here,' Lily said to Severus as she stood in the doorway, 'it's a bar of chocolate.'

'Well thank you,' Severus said as he took the chocolate from her. 'What do I owe this to?'

'It's not for you, silly,' Lily whispered. 'It's for Remus, for his monthly cycle thing.'

'You got my hopes up and you shattered them,' Severus said teasingly. 'But thank you, this might just come in handy.'

'Good luck tonight,' Lily said with a wink. 'I'll be at the lab in case, well, for whatever reason you need to run back.'

Lily ran after Frank and Alice, leaving Severus with Remus and Potter who were still inside the room, just like Severus had expected.

'Did you take your last potion today, Remus?'

'I did this morning,' said Remus. 'Are you sure you still want to come with?'

'Only if we stay inside the Shrieking Shack,' said Severus, looking at Potter in particular.

Potter and Remus nodded in understanding. 'Dumbledore knows that I am coming with you tonight,' Severus continued. 'So that ought to bring you at least a bit more piece of mind, knowing he's got my back in case we need it.'

Remus's extremely pale face seemed to brighten up just a little bit at the thought of having Dumbledore as a backup. 'That is good to know,' he said.

'Anything else I need to know before we do this?' Severus asked in a serious manner.

'We usually head out to the Whomping Willow right after dinner,' said Potter. 'I suggest we met up there.'

'Then so be it.'


	63. Inside the Shrieking Shack

It was quickly growing dark. The four marauders, along with Severus, were standing by the Whomping Willow, ready to take the underground tunnel to the Shrieking Shack.

'Are you still sure you want to do this, Severus?' Remus was shivering violently in the February cold. 'You can still leave if you want to.'

'I want to do this,' Severus said determinedly, but on the inside he felt anything but determined, and it wasn't Remus's situation that caused it.

The last time they had gone to Hogsmeade and passed the Shrieking Shack, Severus had nearly collapsed in another panic attack at the mere sight of it. Now, he was going to have to enter it willingly. The very place in which he had lost his life.

'Let's make a move before the sun is down, shall we?' said Black with a wave of his hand.

Pettigrew nodded in understanding and transformed into a rat so he could touch the knot at the bottom of the tree. Suddenly the tree, which had been swaying in the wind, had become immobilized.

Potter was the first one to go in, tucking Pettigrew in his pocket as he made his way down the tunnel. Black followed suit and Remus, who let out a stifled sniff, crawled into the opening.

Severus turned and looked around one last time at the castle, hesitant to go just head back and let it all sort itself out, but decided against it, as he didn't want to leave Remus behind after everything that happened to the potion he had been taking.

Severus's heart rate increased with every step he took down the tunnel, and was shivering by the time they had reached the shack.

'Moony usually transforms over here,' Black said as he pointed at a dusty broken old bed. 'We just sort of stand around him and wait until he's transformed.'

Remus, who was shivering even more than Severus was, sat down on the bed and wrapped himself up in the blankets.

Severus stood in the corner of the room, observing how the friends interacted with each other. Pettigrew had jumped out of Potter's pocket and nuzzled up on Remus's shoulder, as if to say that everything was going to be okay.

'Just a few more minutes,' said Potter. 'Are you ready for this, Snape?'

Severus shook his head as all four marauders looked at him. 'I can only hope this potion works,' said Severus, unable to hide the quiver in his voice.

'Don't we all,' Black said dryly. Potter and Black transformed into their Animagi forms and Severus pulled out his wand, ready to protect himself if needed.

Remus, who had gotten watery eyed at the display in front of him, hid his face underneath the blankets. 'Thank you for trying, Severus,' Remus said quietly from underneath the blankets. 'But I don't know if my mind can handle the transformation.'

Pettigrew crawled out from underneath the blankets and let out a squeak. Whatever it was that Pettigrew said, Severus knew the transformation had begun.

Remus's evident crying cut straight through Severus's heart. He could only imagine how painful it must be to have a monster crawling out of you from the inside out. The sound of creaking bones made it evident that the wolf was coming out, and the crying turned into howling.

It felt surreal almost, to be standing in front of a man turning into a werewolf while being surrounded by a rat, a dog and a stag. As the blankets fell of Remus's werewolf body, Severus quickly casted a Protego Maxima spell, causing a globe of blue-ish white light to protect him and the remaining marauders from Remus.

Remus was puffing from exhaustion. For a while, Remus just sat on the bed, staring at the Severus and the marauders behind the protective shield.

No longer wanting to wait for a reaction, Potter stomped a hoof against the shield, trying to provoke a reaction.

Slowly Remus climbed off of the bed and pressed his paw against the protective shield and bared his teeth, causing Severus to take an involuntary step backwards.

'Can you hear me, Remus?' Severus asked carefully, not daring to take his eyes of Remus's teeth.

Remus's ears turned sharply in Severus's direction, and let out a stifled nod.

'You can?' Severus asked, still not entirely sure of the situation.

Black let out a soft growl, and transformed back into his human form. He knelt down in front of Remus, only protected by the thin shield that separated him from the wolf, and pressed his hand against it.

It was evident that the tension in the room fell as soon as Remus pressed his paw against the shield from the other side, as if to say that he understood what was going on.

'Woah,' was all Black was able to say. 'This is incredible.'

Both Potter and Pettigrew transformed back into their human form, looking at Remus as if they were witnessing a miracle.

'Do you think I can let the shield down?' Severus asked.

'Just do it,' said Black. 'I think we're good.'

Severus drew a deep breath and lowered his wand, causing the shield to disappear.

'It worked,' Severus muttered to himself. 'I can't believe it worked.'

'Remus, can you hear us?' Potter asked, his eyes still as large as saucers from staring at Remus.

Remus nodded his head. 'I can,' he said.

At that, Severus nearly broke his calm demure. 'You can talk?' I can't believe—you can actually talk?'

'I guess,' said Remus, sounding oddly husky. 'I can't believe I'm actually looking at all of you though, from this perspective.'

'How do you feel, Remus?' asked Pettigrew. 'Is everything okay?'

'A little dizzy,' said Remus, 'but otherwise fine I suppose.'

Potter was starting to get tears in his eyes. 'This is so wonderful mate,' he said with a voice full of emotion. 'I just can't believe what I'm seeing.'

Severus, of course, had seen Remus before in his safe werewolf state, but the talking came as an unexpected surprise. 'I can't believe you can talk.'

'I can't believe I can see the wolf in me without losing myself,' said Remus, getting emotional for as far as his wolf state allowed.

As the marauders surrounded each other and talked, Severus found the moment to sneak away from the group and sit on the broken couch in the other room.

Severus understood it had to be an emotional moment for them, but he couldn't help but wonder how Remus, aside from getting to keep his human mind, also kept his human voice. The only possible explanation he had was the accident with the henbane. It was the same ingredient he had also used that to create the Veritaserum, and seemed like the only possible explanation for the talking. Maybe Remus was unable to lie too, in his werewolf form, and there was only one way to find out.

'Are you doing okay Sn-eh, Severus?' Pettigrew asked. 'You seem a little troubled.'

Pettigrew had walked away from the group and stood in the door opening of the living room.

'I'm alright,' said Severus. 'I'm just not into that whole display of affection for each other.'

'Mind if I join you?'

The last thing Severus wanted was for Pettigrew to start talking to him, but being sitting alone in a place he once died in didn't suit him at all either.

'Sure,' said Severus as he gave in. 'Why not.'

Pettigrew walked up to Severus, lifted up up a cushion from the couch and pulled out two butterbeers. 'Want one?' Pettigrew asked as he sat down on the couch.

'Thanks,' Severus mumbled as he took the bottle from Pettigrew's hand. 'Got more where that came from?'

'I keep a small supply here just in case,' said Pettigrew. 'I don't always go with them when they go running out in the woods. Just doesn't seem safe to me, so I wait here for their return and have some time to myself.'

'That doesn't sound too bad to tell you the truth,' said Severus as he uncorked his bottle.

'It is,' Pettigrew responded. 'I get to drink beer and read books without being disturbed. You even get used to this place after a while, once you know that, it's not as creepy as it looks from the outside.'

Severus begged to differ, but then again, Pettigrew didn't know Severus had died in the exact same room they were now sitting in. For a split second it made him wonder what had happened to his body after the battle was over, but then thought that it would be better not to think about such things at all.

'Here you two are,' Potter said happily as he entered the living room, follow by Remus and Black. 'Have you got any more of those butterbeers, Wormtail?'

Pettigrew pointed at the couch opposite of where he and Severus were sitting. 'Just take those if you want.'

'Remus,' Severus called out, 'can you come here so I can take a closer look at you.'

Remus walked up to Severus with a wagging tail, and stood taller when he sat down then Severus as he was sitting on the couch. 'You are enormous,' said Severus curiously. 'Are you still feeling dizzy?'

'Little bit,' said Remus. 'Must have been the transformation. That's always painful.'

'I got something for that,' Severus said as he rummaged through his pocket. He pulled out the bar of chocolate Lily had given to him and held it up to Remus. 'Want some?'

Remus's werewolf eyes lit up at the sight of it. 'Yes please!'

Severus unwrapped the chocolate and broke it into pieces. 'I have to admit,' Severus said as he held bits of chocolate in his hand, 'it feels very awkward to be feeding you by hand.'

'Let's not talk about this outside of the shack then, shall we?' Remus said with a smile, exposing way too many teeth for Severus's liking. 'Thank you.'

'It's Lily you should be thanking,' said Severus. 'She's the one who thought about giving this to you.'

'Evans knows about Moony?' Potter asked, nearly spitting out his butterbeer in surprise.

'Yes she does,' Severus said dryly. 'Because unlike most people she is not completely oblivious to what goes on around her. Not to worry though. She can keep a secret.'

'Speaking of Lily,' Severus continued. 'Remus, did you kiss her once back in third year?'

'Yes I did,' said Remus, and was surprised by his own reaction a moment later. 'Oh…'

Potter's mouth fell open and Severus couldn't help but grin. 'I knew you had,' he said to assure Remus he wasn't angry, 'Lily told me a while ago. I just asked to test you.'

'Test me for what?' asked Remus, getting a little husky in his voice.

'There's something in the potion I brewed that is also used in truth serums,' he explained, 'and I think it's the reason why you can talk, but not lie.'

'So Moony can't lie at all?' Black said with a barking laugh. 'That's brilliant.'

'You kissed Evans?' Pettigrew asked in disbelief. 'And you never told us?'

'Yes,' Potter said bitterly, 'how come you never told us?'

'Because I knew you'd get upset,' Remus told Potter. 'Like you are now.'

Potter folded his arms across his chest and looked away. The good mood that had come with the successful experiment with Remus had been wiped off his face entirely.

'So, Snape,' said Black in an attempt to turn the conversation, 'what's going to happen know that you know your potion worked?'

'I worked together with a potioneer called Damocles Belby,' said Severus, 'and I will write to him first thing in the morning. He created a very similar potion and also has a test subject, so to compare results would be interesting.'

'I get that,' said Black, 'but what I actually meant was, if this potion is going to be on the market for other people with lycanthropy, it's going to be big news right?'

'I hadn't thought of that,' said Severus sincerely. 'Not that I care much for that either. It works, and that's all that matters.'

'You don't care about getting any glory for it?' Black asked in astonishment.

'Black, I assume you know what happened to me during Christmas?' Severus said with a stern face. 'I don't want my name to be exposed again as it did earlier this year. It'll only raise suspicion.'

Black had a look in his eye Severus had never seen before, and looked away as if he was trying to hide the guilt that washed over him.

'There has got to be something we could do for you though?' said Pettigrew. 'Something as impressive as this shouldn't go unnoticed, I think.'

'How about all of you stop calling me Snivellus and we're square?' said Severus, not having a clue on what they could otherwise possibly do for him.

'No, there's got to be something,' Remus insisted, putting his paw up against Severus's shoulder.

Severus took a moment to think, and then it occurred to him. 'Pettigrew, Black,' said Severus as he turned to them. 'Join the Young Order with the rest of us. We could always do with more members.'

Pettigrew looked down at the ground. 'I'm not much of a fighter though,' he said shyly.

'Preparing yourself for a war is much more than just fighting Pettigrew,' Severus said darkly. 'And Black, what about you?'

'My little brother's a member, isn't he?' said Black, more as a statement than a question. 'Maybe it's time I found out what he's up to.'

Severus recalled the memory he had seen in Regulus's mind the day before, and couldn't help but look at Sirius in a different light.

'I think it'll do you well,' Severus stated.

'And why is that?'

'Don't ask me why,' said Severus, 'but I got the feeling you and I are not so different from one another.'


	64. Emotions Running High at the Shrieking Shack

It took several butterbeers for Severus to relax a little. Having to spend an entire night with the marauders was one thing, but having to spend it inside the Shrieking Shack was another.

He hadn't said much after openly inviting Black and Pettigrew into the Young Order. The marauders hadn't, either.  
Pettigrew was still contemplating whether he wanted to join or not, not feeling confident enough that he would be of any use to such a group. Potter was still sullen after Remus spilled that he had kissed Lily back in third year, and Black's mood had made a U-turn after Severus had compared their lives to each other. Even Remus, who had been so happy that Severus's wolfsbane potion had worked, could sense that the atmosphere had changed and was no longer wagging his tail.

'Maybe you shouldn't drink so much, Snape,' Pettigrew said with a hint of concern. 'You don't look too well.'

'I'm fine,' Severus lied. 'I'm perfectly fine.' A nauseated sensation boiled up inside of him the moment he said it.

'Please don't say you got drunk by drinking a few butterbeers,' Potter said with a snort.

'It's fine,' said Black. 'I'm getting a little lightheaded as well.'

'If we're all going to get drunk here,' Remus said irritably, 'at least someone do me the courtesy of chugging one down my throat.'

'Want me to put it in a bowl for you?' Black asked with a grin. At that, Remus shot Black a deadly werewolf glare that made him jump back in his seat. 'Just kidding mate. I'll help you out.'

As Black helped Remus to chug a butterbeer, Severus helped himself to another one.

'Look, if we all plan on getting drunk tonight,' said Black, 'we might as well grab those old bottles of mead from the attic.'

'I'm in,' said Severus though a hiccup. 'The more I drink, the less dreary this place becomes.'

As Black got up and waddled his way up a creaking staircase, Potter shot Severus a questionable look. 'Have you ever been drunk before, Snape?'

'No,' Severus said lazily. 'Wasn't planning on it either until now.'

'Have you ever had mead before, Snape?' Black said as she stumbled back down, carrying a few amber coloured bottles under his arm.

Severus shook his head. 'It looks good though.'

'That's because it is,' said Black. Due to their lack of glasses, Black handed everyone their own bottle.

'To Moony,' said Black as he held up his own bottle, 'for being the first werewolf known to men to be chugging a butterbeer down in the presence of his friends. And Snape,' Black added as their eyes met, 'you and I got a lot of old quarrels to sort through, but I cannot help but respect you for what you have done for my friend.'

Severus was taken aback by the sincerely in which Black said those words. 'Thanks,' he mumbled back, unsure of how to respond.

Severus uncorked the bottle of mead and carefully took a sip. The honey flavoured drink glided easily down his throat, warming him up from the inside. 'This is delicious,' said Severus, surprised at how well it tasted.

'Snape,' said Potter sharply, 'won't you just prefer to go back to the castle instead?'

The hostility in Potter's voice was prominent in his words. 'And why would I do that?' Severus snapped back.

'Because your little experiment has worked,' said Potter. 'What's the point of sticking around?'

'My _little_ experiment?' Severus sneered. 'My little experiment is going to change the lives of _anyone_ who deals with lycanthropy, Potter! It's groundbreaking, and quite frankly, I want to be able to witness the fruit of my labour.'

Potter shot Severus an angry glare. 'I'm not denying what you did is something worthwhile,' he responded angrily, 'but you're not one of us.'

Severus couldn't help but laugh at Potter's remark. 'I am well aware that I am not one of you, nor do I have the desire to be one.'

Potter had jumped up, and the bottle in his hand had started to shake. 'You're more drunk then you realise,' Severus pointed out.

'I'm not drunk,' Potter spat.

Black tried to get a hold of Potter's bottle of mead. 'Calm down Prongs, you're-'

'No!' Potter cried. 'I just don't understand why this hairy grease ball has to stick around. This is our place. He has no business here!'

At that, Severus started to get angry. 'Have you ever thought that maybe spending hours upon hours above a fuming cauldron may just be the reason why my hair is so greasy, _Potter_? How does it feel, knowing that my hair contains more magical properties than you have in your entire body!'

Black had caught hold of Potter's bottle just in time before he was able to chuck it at Severus's face.

Severus flinched at the sight of it. 'Don't tell me you just tried to do that,' he said, his voice shaking with anger.

'I don't understand you!' Potter yelled. 'Last year you were practically one of those Death Eaters, and all of a sudden you turn around and get to be the hero!'

Severus stood up from the couch, looking Potter straight in the eye. 'Is that what this is all about?' he yelled back. 'That I was able to help Remus in a way that you couldn't do?'

Potter swiftly drew his wand and pointed it at Severus's chest, causing everyone in the room to move backwards.

'Do it then,' Severus said darkly. 'Throw a hex at me like you've always done whenever you feel like I'm standing in your way.'

Potter didn't make a move, but didn't lower his wand either.

'It must be so nice,' said Severus, unable to keep it in, 'to have everything in life handed to you on a silver platter.'

'I do not get everything handed on a silver platter Snape!'

'Oh really? Because so far it seems the only struggle you have ever known is that a girl does not want to go out with you. You don't know struggle _, Potter_! You don't know struggle like I do! Or the way Black does, or Remus, and although I don't know much about Pettigrew, he sure as hell does not come from the same privileged background you do!'

'Why should I even remotely respect you after all the dark magic you got yourself into!'

'I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR RESPECT!' Severus screamed, thoroughly tempted to pull out his own wand as well. 'Meddling with the dark arts is no one else's mistake but my own!'

'THEN WHY DID YOU USE IT AGAINST US?' Potter's voice rose along with Severus's.

If Potter wanted the truth, Severus thought to himself, he could have the truth. 'I came to Hogwarts,' he said with a voice filled with emotion, 'thinking that after all those years of living in a miserable place, I would finally have a home, and then you four twats come along, and ruin it for me!'

Severus slammed the bottle he had been holding violently on the table. 'From the very first day, you have been nothing more than a lurking shadow, ready to drag me down whenever I was starting to climb my way up.' A lumped had started to form in Severus's throat, and he tried hard to fight back the tears. 'So do not expect me to apologize, for every single time I tried to drag you down with me.' Without another glance, Severus grabbed the bottle of mead from the table, turned around and slammed the door of the bedroom behind him.

He slumped down against the wall and put his hands in his hair. A part of him could not believe that after all these years, the pranks that the marauders had pulled on him were still bothering him to this day.

He wiped away a tear, silently wishing that he had listened to Potter and just returned to the castle after seeing his wolfsbane potion succeed. He could hear faint voices talking to each other on the other side, but he didn't bother to listen and took a gulp from the bottle, trying hard not to slip into a fit of panic. Fighting hard against the panic that was brewing up inside of him, he nearly downed the entire bottle, trying to block out the voice in his head that was driving him crazy.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but a faint clawing at the door pulled him out of his trans.

'It's Remus,' Remus said from behind the door. 'Can I please come in?'

'Whatever,' was all Severus was able to say.

Remus struggled to open the door, managed to let himself in and closed it again with a push of his paw.

'You don't look too good, Severus,' said Remus as their eyes met.

'Thank you for being honest,' Severus responded with great difficulty.

'Not like I have much of a choice on that matter,' said Remus. 'And also, drinking is not a solution to anything. Out of all people you should know better than that.'

'Not beating around the bush, are we?'

'Could you do me a favour Severus, and lay down on the bed?' Remus asked with concern.

'No,' Severus said flatly.

'You can't crawl into a corner and wait for the pain to leave,' said Remus. 'It doesn't work like that.'

'I can't stand up.'

'Why not?'

'I'll throw up.'

'Then I'll sit down with you,' said Remus, lying down awkwardly on all four of his legs.

'What are they doing out there?' Severus asked, unsure why he even did.

'Sirius and Peter are still talking with James,' said Remus. 'He's upset too.'

'Why does Potter hate me so much, Remus?' Severus said quietly.

'In his words, because you exist,' said Remus, 'but I can't help but think there's got to be more to it than that.'

'I never asked for my existence,' said Severus as he felt a sour sensation crawling up his throat.

'No one ever did,' said Remus, putting his paws over Severus's legs.

Tears willing up in his eyes. ' I don't want to be here.'

'You can't go back to the castle in this state,' said Remus. 'Just wait until tomorrow.

'I don't want to be here,' Severus repeated. 'This place…I hate it…I hate it so much.'

Severus, no longer able to fight against the panic, started shivering violently.

Remus stood up and pulled a blanket off the bed with his mouth, tossing it over Severus as well as he could.

'Don't hurt yourself, Severus,' said Remus with fear in his eyes, and laid back down beside him. Remus forced his head between Severus's arms to make him stop pulling his own hair. 'Just hold on to me.'

Severus wrapped his arms tightly around Remus's neck and buried his tear stained face into his fur.

'I'm so sorry for what we've done to you, Severus. If only I had known what damage it would cause.'


	65. The Only Cure for a Hangover

'Well, this is awkward.'

Pettigrew was standing in the door opening of the bedroom at the Shrieking Shack. The sound of the creaking door woke Severus up, leaving an ear deafening sound ringing in his mind.

As Severus struggled to look through the cracks of his eyelids, he noticed Remus had fallen asleep snuggled up against him, and was no longer the werewolf of the night before.

'I'll wake him up for you,' said Pettigrew, far too loudly for Severus's liking.

It didn't take much to wake Remus up, who realised rather quickly that he was using Severus's legs as a pillow, and sat up straight.

'Sorry about that,' said Remus.

'Let's keep it between these walls shall we?' said Severus quietly, closing his eyes again against the morning sun.

'Padfoot and Prongs have already gone back to the castle,' said Pettigrew. 'If we go now, we can make it on time for the first lesson.'

'How are you doing Peter? asked Remus.

'I'm alright I guess,' said Pettigrew with a shrug. 'Don't know about the other two though.'

'Come on, Severus,' said Remus as he stretched out his hands to help him up. 'We're all going to have to bite through this day.'

The three made slowly made their way through the tunnel, and were blinded by the low hanging winter sun as they crawled out.

'I'll be honest with you, Severus,' said Pettigrew as they stumbled their way back to the castle. 'You look worse than Remus usually does the night after his transformation.'

Pettigrew was right. Not only did Severus expect a hangover to feel this bad, cold sweat had started to break out all over his body as if he was coming down with a bad fever.

'I should go back to bed,' said Severus with great difficulty. 'When you see Lily in Defense Against the Dark Arts, could you tell her to meet me at our usual spot?'

'I will,' said Pettigrew. 'Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital wing with Remus?'

Severus shook his head. 'I just need to rest.'

The cool and dark corridor that led to the Slytherin dungeons brought a temporary relief to Severus's mind. It didn't last long though. As soon he opened the door of the lab the floating candles that were keeping it alit screamed like a banshee inside his head.

Severus blew out the candles with a flick of his wand, and without bothering to change, crawled underneath the blankets.

He must have managed to snooze off, as he was awoken by the sound of the door gently closing.

'Sev,' Lily whispered, 'mind if I light a candle?'

'Sure,' Severus mumbled back from underneath the blankets.

Lily sat down beside him on the bed and carefully pulled the blankets from his face. 'You got a hangover from hell, don't you?' she asked, unable to hide a little bit of a smile.

'Yes, and I didn't even drink that much,' said Severus with a hint of shame.

'Did your wolfsbane potion work though?' I mean, if you all have been drinking there must have been something to celebrate.'

'It did,' said Severus. 'Remus kept his mind and he was even able to talk.'

Lily's mouth fell open in surprise. 'Sev, this is groundbreaking,' she said quietly but enthusiastically.

'It is,' said Severus with a shiver, 'and I also got into an argument with Potter.'

Lily pressed the palm of her hand against Severus's forehead. 'I think you got more than just a hangover.'

As she gently ran her fingers through his hair, some loose hairs got tangled up between her fingers. 'Sev, did you have a panic attack last night?'

Severus nodded. 'I'm fine though,' he said weakly.

'I'm taking you to the hospital wing.'

'I don't want to go there,' Severus stated. 'I've got things to do.'

'Such as?'

'I have to get Leo so I can write Damocles,' he said, 'and I have to start brewing a new batch for Remus, and I have to catch up on homework and meet up with Dumbledore and—'

'—I'm taking you to the hospital wing,' Lily repeated.

Knowing better than to argue with her, Severus tossed the blankets aside and sat up straight.

'I do need to do all of these things Lily, I—'

'—We're going. Now.'

Severus shot Lily an angry glare that she ignored. Reluctantly, he followed her out of the lab as they made their way to the hospital wing in silence.

'Madam Pomfrey,' Lily called out. 'Are you here somewhere?'

Madam Pomfrey appeared from behind a curtain, revealing Remus sitting on a bed, reading a book.

'Miss Evans,' said Pomfrey in surprise. 'What brings you here?'

Lily pointed at Severus who was standing behind her. With his arms folded around his chest, he had taken a passive aggressive stance, making it clear that, in fact, he did not want to be at the hospital wing at all.

'He's got a hangover,' Lily said matter-of-factly, 'and a fever to boot.'

Madam Pomfrey put her hands on her hips and looked at Severus with a raised eyebrow. 'You were with mister Lupin all night, weren't you?'

'Yes,' Severus admitted. From behind Pomfrey, Lupin was shooting Severus an apologetic look.

'All I need is a potion for headache relief,' said Severus. 'I can leave right after that.'

Madam Pomfrey shook her head and pointed at the empty bed beside Remus. 'Hangovers and headaches are not the same thing, mister Snape. Go lay down and I'll fetch you something.'

Defeated, Severus walked up to the bed and slumped down.

'How are you feeling, Remus?' asked Lily as she sat down beside Severus.

'Quite alright,' said Remus happily. 'Has Severus told you yet that his wolfsbane potion has worked?'

'He did,' Lily answered with a smile. 'I'm so happy for you Remus.'

Madam Pomfrey had returned with a glass full of a colourless liquid.

'What's this?' asked Severus as he took the glass from her hands and sniffed it. 'It doesn't smell like anything.'

'Water, mister Snape,' said Pomfrey dryly. Lily and Remus couldn't help but laugh at Severus's astonished face. 'You're dehydrated. The only way to get rid of a hangover is by drinking water, and lots of it.'

Severus drank it all at once and put it on the bedside table. 'I'll use Aguamenti if I need more,' he said.

As madam Pomfrey left, Severus turned to Lily. 'Lily, there's so much that I need—'

'—I'll take of it,' Lily cut him off. 'I will ask Evan for your homework and find Dumbledore to tell him you're not meeting him tonight.'

'But the wolfsbane potion—'

'—If your notes are still on the desk, I will start brewing it for you. Also, I'll send you Leo so you can write to Damocles. Does that sound like a plan?'

'Are you sure you want to start brewing it? I mean, you haven't—'

'—Are you questioning my ability to brew a complicated potion, mister Control Freak?' Lily tossed her hair back and shot Severus an angry glare.

'Never,' said Severus quickly, not daring to question her any further.

'Then allow me to take care of you,' said Lily.

'You're always taking care of me,' Severus said grudgingly.

Lily rolled with her eyes. 'Remus,' she said, 'let me tell you something about this man right here.'

Remus looked up at Lily with a grin, ready for the juicy details.

'The summer right after our second year, I got really ill and had to stay in bed for about two weeks, okay? And this wonderful man right here,' she said as she petted Severus on the shoulder, 'he showed up on my doorstep every single morning to take care of me, and wouldn't leave until nightfall after my parents had to kick him out.'

Severus turned a shade of red at the recall of the memory. 'I remember that,' he said. 'You were practically puking your guts out.'

'And you were there to hold up my hair every single time I did,' said Lily with a smile. 'So don't let him fool you Remus. On the outside he's tough and reserved, and it take some digging, but on the inside he's just a big sponge.'

Remus couldn't help but get a sparkle in his eye as Lily told him the story. 'He does have a good heart,' he said. 'Would be nice if you showed it a bit more often, Severus.'

'That only happens when he sees a kitten,' said Lily. 'He's your problem for now, Remus. I got to get myself some lunch and head to class.'

'Lily, what did we miss out on at Defense Against the Dark Arts?' asked Remus.

'An introduction to Boggarts,' said Lily. 'We haven't actually gotten to see one yet though. Hopefully we get to do that next week.'

Lily gave Severus a quick kiss on the side of his head and jumped off the bed. 'I'll come visit you later,' she promised, and headed for the great hall.

'So,' Remus said with a wide grin, 'when's the wedding?'

'Shut up, Remus,' said Severus as he rolled around on the bed.

'Will I get an invitation when you do?'

Severus grabbed a pillow, pressed it against his face and grumbled something indistinguishable back.

'She just kissed you, Severus,' said Remus, still throwing some oil onto the fire. 'You two are not fooling anyone.'

'You've _actually_ kissed her though,' said Severus with a muffled sound. 'I've never kissed her, or anyone else for the matter.'

'And you know all of her past, and her hopes and dreams and fears, Severus,' Remus added. 'Don't compare her one kiss with me to a lifetime you have shared with her.'

Severus tossed his pillow aside. 'What was it that attracted you to Lily?' he asked boldly.

'Her kindness and her happy nature,' said Remus. 'But there was no chemistry like you and her have, and we quickly came to the conclusion that we'd be better off as friends.'

'As far as I'm concerned, Remus,' said Severus, 'I'm just glad it was you and not Potter.'

'I can imagine,' said Remus. The mention Potter's name quickly filled the air with a negative cloud and Remus turned the conversation. 'This is the first time we actually get to do something fun for Defense.'

'Facing a dark creature that will turn into your worst nightmare the moment it sees you? How fun,' said Severus sarcastically.

'I already know what mine turns into,' said Remus. 'I suppose that makes it a bit easier to handle. Any idea what your boggart would look like?'

Severus shook his head. 'A few things, probably.'

A faint pecking in the distance caught Severus's attention, and saw Leo sitting on the windowsill outside of the hospital wing. He climbed out of bed to let him in, and Leo swooped in and sat down on Remus's knee.

'Hello Leo,' said Remus as he petted the owl. 'He comes into the Gryffindor common room a lot. Loves the attention he gets.'

'Do you have some parchment and a quill, Remus?' The sooner I can write Damocles about yesterday, the better.'

Remus rummaged through the drawer of his bedside table and pulled out parchment and ink. 'It's a good thing that, since I spend so much time here, I got my own bedside table filled with supplies.'

'Thanks,' said Severus. 'Can I have your book to write on as well?'

Severus quickly wrote down everything that went down at the Shrieking Shack, and of his findings of what adding the henbane had done to the potion. He rolled it up, tied it to Leo's paw, and sent him out of the window.

Severus felt a faint throbbing rise up again in his head and lied down. 'I think I'm going to sleep for a while Remus.'

'Before you do,' Remus added, 'can I ask you one more thing?'

'Sure.'

'Is everything alright between us? he asked with a hint of concern. 'I mean, things can't exactly be the same after everything that went down last night.'

Severus turned his head in Remus's direction, and looked him straight in the eye. 'We're fine.'


	66. After a Hangover has been Cured

Severus slipped into a fever-induced dream. He saw himself standing in the middle of a room, the hardwood floor creaking under every step he took. He knew this place. It was the living room at the Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire. Every wall was decorated with symbols of the family's wealth and power. A place of new beginnings, and darkness, too.

The more he looked around, the more masks appeared out of nowhere, following every step he took towards the hearth.

The Dark Lord stood there waiting for him with an unnatural grin on his face. The face of a man who was no longer a man.

Cold sweat was dripping of Severus's forehead. The branding iron in the Dark Lord's hand was a strange sight to behold. To think that the rite of passage to become a Death Eater involved something so un-magical, when it was everything they stood against.

Without a word, Severus stretched out his left arm and closed his eyes. The scent of burning flesh was the last thing he took in before he heard a distant voice calling his name, and awoke, gasping for air.

'Sev,' said Lily's in a calm voice. 'You were having a nightmare.'

Severus's eyes were wide open and subconsciously started scratching at the arm that was once branded with the dark mark.

Lily offered him a glass of water, which he drank in one gulp, and steadied his breathing.

'You're soaking in sweat, Sev,' said Lily as she gently tucked strands of his hair behind his ear. 'Maybe you should go and a take a shower to clear your head.'

Severus nodded in agreement. It wasn't until he bothered to look around that he noticed Dumbledore was also in the hospital wing, sitting beside Remus on his bed.

'Good evening, headmaster,' said Severus, his voice raw. 'I suppose you came here to talk about last night.'

'I am,' said Dumbledore with a nod. 'But feel free to go clear your head before we talk. It can wait.'

Severus hobbled his way to the showers, threw off his robes and turned the shower on as hot as he dared.

Despite the fever-induced nightmare, Severus was glad that at least the hangover was gone. He couldn't help but scrub with a flannel on his arm over and over again where the mark used to be. Even though it wasn't there, the phantom of the burning sensation left an itch he couldn't scrub away.

As the nightmare slowly started to ebb away in his mind, it was time to get out and strike a conversation with Dumbledore.

He walked straight into the dressing room in search of a towel and nearly tripped on the slippery floor when he heard a loud gasp from behind. 'I'm so sorry!' said Lily as she quickly covered her eyes. 'I just came in to bring you some clean robes. I didn't know you were done already, I swear.'

Severus stood frozen in his spot, looking wide-eyed at Lily as she struggled not to look.

'I better go now,' she said awkwardly. She turned around, nearly slammed her head against the door, and walked out.

Severus quickly picked a towel from a rack and dried himself off. The last thing he had wanted Lily to see was his naked self, and cursed himself for his horrid timing.

Once he got dressed and made his way back, Lily was sitting on his hospital bed, her face still red as a beet.

'Feel better Severus?' asked Remus with a hint of concern.

'Much better,' said Severus as he sat down beside Lily, careful to avoid her gaze.

'Mister Lupin here told you that you have send a letter to mister Belby this afternoon,' said Dumbledore.

'I did,' Severus confirmed, and quickly he rolled into the story on what happened to the potion and the results he had observed. The only things that wasn't discussed was the fight that broke out between him and Potter, and the panic attack he had had.

'So mister Lupin can talk, but not lie?' Dumbledore asked by means of conformation.

'Basically, yes,' said Severus. 'I could leave out a certain ingredient that could still help Remus keep his human mind, but lose his ability to talk, or I could leave it in so he can talk, but not lie.'

Dumbledore turned to Remus and peaked over his glasses. 'I loved the fact that I could communicate with all of you there,' said Remus. 'So if that means not being able to lie, so be it.'

'Good thing you've always been rather truthful—' but Lily cut Severus off.

'—With all of you?' Lily asked with a frown at Remus. 'I'm sorry, but who else was there?'

Remus's eyes grew wide in shock. 'I don't think I'm supposed to tell you, Lily,' he said carefully.

Lily turned to Severus. 'Didn't you mention Potter was there this morning? I didn't see Peter or Sirius anymore after dinner. They were all with you, weren't they?'

'Miss Evans,' Dumbledore interrupted in order to avoid any trouble, 'can you promise to keep a secret?'

Remus gave Dumbledore a stiff nod of approval before he started speaking. 'Mister Potter, mister Pettigrew and mister Black have all gone through the trouble of becoming Animagi to support mister Lupin during his moon cycles.'

Lily's mouth fell open in astonishment. 'You mean like professor McGonagall, who can turn into a cat?'

'Just like professor McGonagall,' Dumbledore confirmed. 'But as you may also know, being an Animagus is something that is not allowed until someone is of age, and is registered at the ministry, which this group of friends is neither.'

'I see,' said Lily. 'If it was exposed the ministry would get involved. I promise I won't say a word.'

'Good,' said Dumbledore. 'That's all I needed to hear.'

Dumbledore stood up from the bed and prepared himself to leave. 'Lets await Damocles his response for now, shall we?' Mister Lupin, it is good to see you do so well for a change, and Mister Snape, I suggest you take another day off before you head back to class.'

'With all do respect sir, I—'

'—It was not a suggestion, Severus,' Dumbledore interrupted.

'Can I at least sleep in my own bed?' said Severus with a groan.

'I will let madam Pomfrey be the judged of that,' said Dumbledore. 'I bid you all a good evening.'

As Dumbledore left, madam Pomfrey came back to check on Remus and Severus. 'You can sleep in your own bed mister Snape,' she said. 'But if you feel your fever starting to rise again, come back right away. Mister Lupin, you may go as well.'

'I will meet you later in the common room,' Lily said to Remus as they walked out of the door.

'Then I'll see you later,' said Remus as he headed in the opposite direction. Severus could see Remus winking at him. He narrowed his eyes at Remus in order to shush him, and turned around to follow Lily to the dungeons.

Lily sprinted up to Severus's bed and laid down, her legs dangling over the edge. 'Come and lay down with me,' she said.

Severus lay down next to her and looked up at the ceiling. 'Just say it,' he said.

'Say what?'

'That I'm a hairy bastard.'

Lily burst out into a fit of giggles. 'You're not _that_ hairy.'

'Sorry for bringing it up this way,' said Severus, 'but I can't help you un-see what you saw.'

'It was only for a second,' said Lily, trying to make it not sound so bad, 'or two.'

'As long as you're not scarred for life,' said Severus.

'It's alright,' said Lily, unable to hide a bit of a blush. 'And don't put yourself down like that. You've got nothing to complain about.'

Severus turned his face in Lily's direction. 'Let's not discuss this any further, shall we.'

Lily nodded in agreement. 'Let's not. So uhm, the marauders are Animagi? Who would've thought.'

'Want to know what they transform into?'

'Yes,' said Lily, 'I'm actually quite curious.'

'Well,' said Severus as he started to explain, 'Pettigrew transforms into a rat.'

Lily frowned at the thought of it. 'Of all creatures, he chose to be a rat? Explains why they call him Wormtail though.'

'You'd be surprised at how useful rats can be,' said Severus. 'And then Black transforms into a big shaggy dog.'

'Suits him,' said Lily. 'What about Potter?'

'Potter turns into a stag.'

'A stag?' Lily turned on her side and faced Severus. 'You mean like the stag we encountered in the woods when we went to pick wolfsbane at full moon?'

'The very same,' Severus confirmed.

'You knew it was him, didn't you?'

'I did,' Severus admitted. 'I've known for quite a while now, but like Dumbledore said, it is better to keep it a secret.'

Lily's look of surprise turned into a grin. 'You gave him a hug before we went back to the castle. Why did you do that?'

'I told him he could get an arrow shoved up his arse by a centaur,' he said with a grin. 'He tried to sabotage my attempt at picking wolfsbane plants with you until he finally understood I was doing it for Remus.'

'What a toerag,' said Lily with a scowl.

'Couldn't have said it better myself.'

'And I called him an intelligent creature,' Lily added with a look of disgust.

'Still funny,' said Severus, 'to witness Potter struggle like that while you were fawning over him without knowing it was him.'

'You told me you and Potter fought last night,' said Lily in a more serious tone. 'What was that all about?'

'He didn't want me around. Said I wasn't part of their group.'

'After everything you've done for Remus, he has the guts to ask you to leave?' Lily asked in disbelief.

'It's not just that,' Severus added. 'I got involved in a lot of bad things over the past few years and he doesn't want to believe I turned away from it.'

Lily shook her head, still in disbelief.

'You know,' said Severus as he looked Lily in the eye, 'I think he's just jealous of us.'

'I'd say him and Sirius may just be as close as you and I are. Or do you think it's because I don't want to go out with him and spend a lot of time with you?'

'I'm quite sure it's the latter,' said Severus, unable to stop himself from smiling back.

Lily stretched out her hand and tucked his hair behind his ear. 'It almost pains me to say this,' she said quietly, 'but next time you have a panic attack, please make sure that I'm around to catch you.'

'I don't exactly control it,' said Severus, feeling himself relax under Lily's touch.

'It always seems to happen when I'm not around. It breaks my heart to find you all curled up helplessly into a ball.'

Severus took a hold of the hand she had been stroking his hair with and held it tightly in his own. 'I don't have to be afraid of anything, as long as you're around.'


	67. An Invitation to Visit Edinburgh

Severus stuck to the promise he had made with Dumbledore and did not go to class the next day. Having been able to relax inside the lab all day, and had enjoyed it so much, he decided to take the next day off as well despite feeling much better already.

Another reason why he took the day off was because they were supposed to be introduced to boggarts, which was the last thing he wanted to be faced with right now, and being ill felt like a good excuse to avoid the trouble.

The giant squid had come again to say hello. Lily had made a perfect foundation for the wolfsbane potion. He had managed to catch up with any homework he had left and brewed up a whole new supply for Lily to sell. Not needing to socialize for two days had been a welcoming distraction.

His mind wandered off from time to time. Mostly he anticipated Damocles's response. Having created a groundbreaking potion was one thing, but bringing it on the market was another.

Another thing that kept his mind occupied was Evan. Evan seemed to be growing more distant with everybody by the day. Wandering absentmindedly around the school. Hiding in dark corners. Lily had been keeping an eye on him too, but she couldn't find anything out of the ordinary, other than his worsening depressed state.

It felt like it had been years in which Severus could just lie in bed and read a good book. Lily had left the books she had been given by her parents for her birthday in the lab for Severus to read. Hours ticked by as Severus turned page after page, until Lily walked in, hovering two plates in front of her with her wand.

'I brought us dinner,' said Lily as she walked into the lab.

'Again?' Severus asked as he looked up from his book, taking in the scent of sweet potatoes.

'Don't get used to it,' said Lily as she put the plates down on the desk.

Severus tossed the book aside and joined her.

'You look a lot better, Sev.'

'I feel a lot better too,' he confirmed. 'Not doing anything for two days has done me better than I expected.'

Lily pursed her lips. 'I don't see how you can call doing all of your homework nothing, Sev. But then again, you've always been a bit of a bookworm.'

'I see no shame in obtaining academic achievements,' he said with a hint of pride. 'I like to study. It puts me at ease.'

'Careful there, Sev,' Lily teased. 'Your inner Ravenclaw is showing.'

Lily conjured a flask of pumpkin juice and two mugs out of thin air and poured them a cup. 'Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you got an Outstanding on all of your subjects.'

'Me neither,' said Severus confidently. 'But what good does it do to have an Outstanding for every subject when there's a war out there that can't be won with good grades.'

Lily put her mug down and took a good luck at Severus. 'What happened to you over the past summer, Sev? I'm sorry that I keep asking you that, but last year I, and everyone else for the matter, remember you as the overachiever of Slytherin, and now it's like you just do whatever and still get good grades.'

'What can I say?' Severus said with a shrug. 'It just comes easy to me.'

Lily let out a groan in frustration. 'I wish I could have your brain for a day,' she said. 'That would make getting through school a whole lot easier.'

'I'll gladly lend you my brain,' said Severus after he swallowed a potato, 'if by that you're also willing to take my clusterfuck of worries, frustrations and anxieties with it.'

Lily seemed to contemplate it for a moment, but then shook her head. 'Nah, I'll pass.'

'Good,' said Severus, 'because my mind is a train wreck.'

'Are you nearly done eating?'

'Yes,' Severus confirmed as he picked at a green bean, 'why?'

'Because I've got something for you.'

Severus put his fork down and looked at Lily attentively. 'What is it?' he asked curiously.

'Eat first,' Lily stated, 'and then I'll give it to you.'

Severus wolfed down the rest of his green beans. 'Whatever it is,' he said as he put his plate aside, 'I hope it's good.'

'I hope so too,' said Lily. With her hand she reached into her pocket and pulled out a letter, addressed to Severus from Damocles.

'You've had it in your pocket all this time!' he said in disbelief as he took the letter from her. 'Why not just hand it to me right away?'

'Because I know if I did you would forget to eat,' Lily said strictly.

'Lily, you don't have to look after me like that,' Severus responded irritably.

'I promised mum and dad I would,' she said with a hint of authority. 'And I intend to stick to that promise.'

Severus growled something indistinguishable back.

'Are you going to sit here and complain,' she said with her arms folded, 'or are you going to open the letter and read it.'

With a frown on his face, Severus broke the seal and unrolled the scroll of parchment.

'Come read it with me,' he said stiffly.

Lily stood up, put her hands on his shoulders and read along with him.

'Sev, this is brilliant,' she whispered.

Severus nodded along in agreement. 'His potion worked as well, other than the fact that whoever he tested it on couldn't speak.'

'And he wants to meet you in Edinburgh this weekend,' Lily pointed out. 'Already notified Dumbledore and everything.'

'And he wants me to bring Remus along with me if possible,' Severus added. 'We should go find him right away.'

Together, they walked the many flights of staircases up to the Gryffindor common room. The fat lady opened the portrait after Lily gave the password, and crawled through the portrait hole.

'I'll go get Remus real quick,' said Lily. 'We could go to Dumbledore right after.'

After a minute or so, Lily came back crawling through the portrait hole, followed by Remus.

'Heard you got a response from mister Belby,' said Remus. 'Any good news?'

'You'll find out when we visit Dumbledore,' said Severus. 'And just come with us, Lily. I'm sure Dumbledore won't mind.'

They stopped in front of the gargoyle on the other side of the seventh floor. Severus gave the password, causing the gargoyle to stop aside and reveal the spiraling staircase.

Lily was looking at it in wonder. 'I've never actually been up here before.'

'I can promise you Dumbledore won't bite,' said Severus. 'Fawkes might though, if he doesn't like you.'

Severus let Lily take the lead upstairs and use the brass knocker on the door.

'Come on in!' a happy voice said from the other side. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, reading a what seemed like a Muggle book while drinking tea.

'We've come with some good news headmaster,' said Lily cheerfully.

Dumbledore used a quill as a bookmarker and put his book aside. 'It is always a good time to hear good news.'

Severus walked up to Dumbledore and handed him the letter Damocles had sent him.

'Ah yes, 'said Dumbledore, 'I received a letter from him also. Would you and mister Lupin here be up to it to go to Edinburgh this weekend?'

Remus looked up in surprise. 'Go to Edinburgh? Because of the potion you made, Severus?'

'Yes,' Severus confirmed with a nod, and absentmindedly started petting Fawkes. 'We can meet up there with mister Belby and discuss whatever it is we need to discuss.'

Remus got a wide smile on his face. 'I'd love to go,' he said happily. 'I would have to notify my parents first though.'

'Allow me to take care of that for you,' said Dumbledore. 'Mister Belby will be ready to pick the both of you up from the train station in Edinburgh next Saturday.'

'I assume we take the train from Hogsmeade, sir?' asked Severus.

'The first train that leaves in the morning,' said Dumbledore. 'For what it is worth, I can assume that the both of you are grown up enough to make the important decisions regarding this potion yourselves.'

Both Severus and Remus nodded in agreement.

'Then I bid you all a very good evening,' said Dumbledore by means of closure.

Severus gave Fawkes one last pet on the head and followed Lily and Remus out of the office.

'I'll admit,' said Lily, 'I wish I could've come with. Spending a weekend up in Edinburgh sounds like a lot of fun.'

'Then why don't you?' said Severus with a grin. 'Just steal Potter's invisibility cloak and tag along with us.'

'As much as I admire this sudden adventures spirit of yours, Sev, said Lily with a hint of pride, 'if I leave over the weekend and go missing this whole castle will go crazy over the fact that a Muggle-born has disappeared.'

'She's got more common sense than you do, Severus,' said Remus with a chuckle.

'It would've been nice if you could've,' said Severus in an attempt to save himself.

'I think it's good that you get to spend some time with people that aren't me,' said Lily. 'It'll do you good.'

They stopped in front of the Gryffindor portrait. 'Which reminds me,' Lily added, 'I'm going to spend some time with the girls tonight, so I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow.' Lily gently squeezed Severus in the hand and opened up the portrait. 'Goodnight, Sev,' she said, and disappeared behind the portrait.

Remus turned to Severus. 'Quite a pleasant surprise to go to Edinburgh I might say.'

'It'll be good to be away from the castle for a bit,' said Severus.

'It will be,' said Remus. A faint flush of shame washed over his cheeks. 'It's just, I don't have a lot of money and—'

'—Don't worry about that,' Severus cut him off. 'As you may know, Lily and I got our own little batch of savings by selling potions to students. We can use that.'

Remus looked like he wanted to argue, but decided against it. 'Thanks,' he said quietly. 'Have a good evening.'

'You too,' Severus responded with a nod.

Severus made his way down the dungeons when a shadow caught his eye. 'Evan?' he called out, trying to see what was moving. 'Is that you?'

'Yeah.' Evan's voice sounded cold and distant.

Severus casted a Lumos spell to light the way and saw Evan facing the wall in a niche of the dungeons.

Severus grabbed him by the shoulder to turn him around, and looked directly in his eye.

'Evan, do you know where you are?' Severus asked clearly.

'Dungeons…I think,' Evan responded in a hollow voice.

'How did you get here?' asked Severus, sharper this time.

'I don't remember,' said Evan faintly, looking around him as if he was seeing the dungeons for the first time.

'You have blood on your hands, Evan,' said Severus as he grabbed Evan's arm and held it up in front of his face. 'How did that happen?'

'Cut myself in Herbology,' said Evan. 'It's nothing.'

'Where is the room that professor Slughorn gave you?'

'Down there,' said Evan with a nod in the general direction. 'Maybe I should go to sleep.'

'Then I'll take you there.'

It took a while to find it, but eventually Evan recognized the room that he was given by Slughorn and opened it with a similar key Severus had for the lab.

'Go to sleep, Evan,' said Severus authoritatively. 'I'll question you again tomorrow to see if there's anything you can remember.'

Evan gave a stiff nod and closed the door behind him.

Whatever it was that caused Evan to act so lost, there was more involved than just a breakup.


	68. A Draught that Calms you Down

'Evan!'

'Evan are you there?'

Severus was banging on the door of Evan's room where he had left him the night before.

Faint footsteps from the other side indicated that Evan was awake, and swung the door open.

'Mornin', something wrong Severus?' Evan asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Severus took a good look at Evan's sheepish stance. 'Do you remember anything from last night, Evan?'

Evan raised an eyebrow in confusion and shook his head. 'Nothing in particular, why?'

Severus looked down at Evan's hands. Other than a small cut on the inside of his palm, his hands were cleared of the blood of the previous night. The cut, much too small for the amount of blood it had been.

'Do you mind if I come in?' said Severus, more as a statement than a question.

'Sure,' said Evan, though a little reluctantly. 'Don't we have to go to class soon?'

'It can wait,' said Severus as he walked in and closed the door behind him. 'Evan, I found you last night whispering against a wall with your hands covered in blood.'

'I have no idea what you're talking about, Severus,' said Evan fearfully, and from the look on his face Severus could tell that Evan wasn't lying.

'Something bad is going on with you, Evan,' Severus said in a very serious manner, 'and whatever it is, I'm afraid it's something more than just a breakup.'

Evan fumbled with his hands and looked down at the floor. 'I haven't felt good for a very long time, Severus,' he said timidly.

'So I noticed,' said Severus, 'as does everyone else.'

'School hasn't been going well for me,' said Evan with a tremble in his voice. 'I honestly don't think that I'm going to make it through the exams this year.'

'If what I caught you doing last night is the result of exam stress,' said Severus in disbelief, 'than I'm glad we're going to brew Calming Draughts during potions today. You could use some.'

'It's not just that,' Evan admitted. 'It's the prospect of having to go home again by the end of the year that's slowly driving me insane.'

'You know Severus,' Evan added, 'occlumency is great to keep people out of your thoughts, but the disadvantage is that it also keeps all of your thoughts locked up within.'

'It is,' said Severus, understanding where that philosophy came from.

'The only way for me to deal somewhat with all the stress is writing in my diary,' said Evan with a shrug. 'Stupid as it sounds.'

'Whatever works for you,' said Severus. 'How are things with you and Vanity?'

'Alright I suppose,' said Evan with a hint of sadness. 'We still work together in potions class.'

'And how is that going for you?'

'Horrible,' Evan responded. 'But that's because neither her nor I are particularly good at it.'

'Then I suggest you come and sit with me this time,' said Severus. 'I'm sure Lily won't mind teaming up with Vanity for a change.'

'Okay,' said Evan, surprised at Severus's offer to help him. 'Can I please change quickly so I can have some breakfast first?'

Severus nodded, and left to go and find Lily, whom he found sitting with Alice and Frank at the Gryffindor table.

'Oh there you are Severus!' said Frank happily. 'I got something to tell you.'

'Do tell,' said Severus as he helped himself to some toast.

'I arranged with the teacher from Defense that I could have the boggart we practiced on last time,' Frank said, sounding far too excited for his own good. 'So now we can actually practice some more on how to defeat boggarts next Sunday.'

Severus looked Frank straight in the eye, ready to disappoint him. 'I won't be here on Sunday,' he said. 'I have to go to Edinburgh this weekend because of a potion I invented along with another potioneer.'

Frank's timing to get a hold of a boggart couldn't have been more convenient. 'Sorry to disappoint,' he added.

'You invented a new potion?' asked Frank, his eyes growing big. 'What for?'

Severus saw Remus sitting further down the table with the rest of the marauders, laughing along to whatever joke Pettigrew had just told. 'Something that will help people with lycanthropy. That's all I can say for now.'

'I remember you mentioning something about that before Severus,' said Alice as she joined the conversation. 'The fact that you actually managed to create something is incredible!'

Lily was nodding along in agreement. 'Sev's got to be the most brilliant potioneer I've ever had the pleasure to meet,' she said proudly.

'I may be good but I'm not Zygmunt Budge,' said Severus, unsure how to respond to Lily's compliment.

'You're as good as,' said Lily. 'I still think you'd make a fine potions master.'

Severus shook his head. 'I highly doubt that. Shall we go to the potions lab?'

The bell rang right after he said it, so Frank made his way to the rest of the Hufflepuffs while Alice, Lily and Severus made their way to the dungeons.

'I'm going to work with Evan today,' Severus said to Lily.

'Will I work with Vanity then?' she asked. 'Not that I mind but I have no idea how good she is.'

'She's decent at it,' said Severus. 'Evan, however, is a disgrace to the art of potion making, so I'm going to help him out to make good Calming Draught that he could use for himself afterwards.'

Once they walked inside the classroom, Evan was already waiting for him, and Alice and Lily took place on the opposite side of the room.

'Thanks for helping me out, Severus, 'said Evan, though sounding slightly embarrassed. 'I really need it.'

'No problem,' said Severus as he waved it off. 'Could you get me some scurvy-grass and some sprigs of peppermint, and I'll see if I can find some ginger roots.'

'You already know how to make this?'

'I've made it before,' said Severus matter-of-factly. 'It's quite useful from time to time.'

The rest of the Slytherin and Gryffindor students walked in, along with professor Slughorn.

Lily waved at Vanity to come and sit beside her, and judging by Vanity's smile on her face, Severus knew she didn't mind working with someone else for a change.

'We're going to make a Calming Draught today,' said professor Slughorn. 'For a potion that is meant to bring you peace of mind, the process of creating it can be quite stressful, as it is a rather precise potion. Do it wrong, and it can put you in an everlasting sleep so please be cautious when you make it.'

'See,' said Evan, 'this is why I find making potions so difficult. Get it right, you got yourself something useful. Do it wrong, you're practically dead.'

'I can guarantee you that professor Slughorn is exaggerating,' said Severus. 'Sometimes it's the only way to get students to do it right the first time.'

Looking a little more relieved, Evan got up in search of peppermint sprigs.

Once Severus grabbed a supply of ginger roots and powdered moonstone, he found that Mulciber and Avery had taken their seats right behind him and Evan.

'Going to be an insufferable know-it-all again Snape,' Mulciber sneered.

'I take pride in being an insufferable know-it-all Mulciber,' Severus said dryly as he started cutting up the ginger roots.

'Malfoy is still asking for you, 'said Avery. 'Did you know that Snape?'

'I could care less,' Severus grumbled, not bothering to look back.

'You know what Avery,' said Mulciber, 'I want to see if I can get some of this belladonna in that stupid fishbowl from here.'

'No you won't,' said Severus sharply as he slammed his knife down.

'What's it to you, Snape,' Mulciber said with a hollow laugh. 'It's just a stupid fish.'

'Because belladonna is poisonous,' said Severus, now shooting an angry glare at Mulciber. 'You could end up killing it.'

At that, both Mulciber and Avery started to laugh. 'Since when do you give a shit about a stupid fish, Snape?' Mulciber spat. 'And why aren't you working with that mudblood girlfriend of yours? Got into a fight with her again, didn't you?'

At the word "mudblood", it went black before Severus's eyes. He stood up, kicked Mulciber's cauldron aside and grabbed him by the collar of his robes with both his hands.

'WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?' Severus yelled angrily, his hands shaking.

Mulciber's eyes grew wide in fear, and Avery had stood up and took a few steps back, not daring to get involved.

Severus hadn't noticed that the whole classroom had gone completely still. 'WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?' he repeated.

From the sound of the steps behind him Severus knew professor Slughorn had come up behind him. 'What's going on over here?' he said, looking at the scene in horror.

Lily had stood up too, and walked over to Severus. 'Sev,' she said as she gently touched his shoulder, 'just let him go.'

Severus felt the tension release from his fingers and released Mulciber with a push. 'You disgust me,' Severus said calmly, but not without an angry quiver in his voice.

'What just happened here?' Slughorn asked again.

'Mulciber just called miss Evans a mudblood, sir,' said Evan in Severus's defense.

Slughorn, always so jolly, now had a rare look of pure anger on his face. 'I'm taking you to the headmaster,r Mulciber,' he said. 'This is beyond my power.'

With one last glare at Severus, Mulciber turned around and followed Slughorn out of the classroom. Avery, unsure of what to do, left the classroom right after.

'Are you alright, Sev?' Lily asked as she gently ran her fingers over his back.

'I'm fine,' said Severus, slowly relaxing under her touch.

'Now what do we do?' she asked. 'Do we just leave?'

Severus shook his head. 'I've got a better idea.'

'Mister Rosier,' Severus said in a stronger voice. 'Could you please join miss Evans and miss Vanity at their table? I'm going to take over from here.'

'Does anyone have any difficulties with this?' Severus asked the entire classroom as he stood in front of the board.

Several hands rose up in the air.

'Alright,' he said, 'that's because the recipe isn't entirely correct, and here's why.'

Severus had never enjoyed being a teacher, but for once, it felt good to be doing just that.

…

After dinner, Severus and Lily had retreated to their lab to do homework.

'It was just like that time you took over the Astronomy class,' said Lily with an air of enthausiasm. 'Entirely unexpected, but quite brilliant.'

'Don't count on seeing me do it again,' said Severus with a scowl.

'I still think you'd make a fantastic potions master, Sev,' Lily stated.

Severus snorted at that. 'No I won't.'

'Oh come on, Sev,' said Lily with a whiny tone in her voice. 'Why do you dislike it so much?'

'For the same reason that I think you would make a wonderful Healer, but I also know that you will never do it.'

'I'd rather fight than heal,' Lily admitted.

'As do I,' said Severus. 'With this war that's coming closer and closer, I'd rather be more competent with a wand than a cauldron.'

Lily smiled up at him. 'I haven't even said thank you yet.'

'For what?'

'For sticking up for me today after what Mulciber said.'

'I shouldn't have done what I did,' Severus said as he put his quill down.

'What? Sticking up for me?'

'No,' said Severus quickly, 'I meant taking a hold of Mulciber like that.'

Lily took a good look at him for a moment, and then she understood what he meant. She stretched out her hands and took a hold of his that were resting on the table. 'Don't compare yourself to your father,' she said softly. 'You're not him. Never have been. Never will be.'

'I know,' said Severus, finding comfort in her touch. He was able to hide it on the surface, but deep down he knew so much better than that. 'I just needed to hear that.'


	69. The Railroad to Edinburgh

The sun hadn't come up yet when Severus was waiting for Remus in the entrance hall.

'You do realise that we are going out in public, Remus?' said severus as he saw Remus come down wearing his robes.

Remus let out a stiffled groan as he looked down at what he was wearing. 'Sorry, I didn't think of that.'

'Never mind now,' said Severus. 'I got something you can change into once we're on the train.'

'Thanks,' said Remus sheepishly as he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes.

'I hope you don't mind me saying this,' said Remus as they left the castle behind them, 'but you look a bit like Sirius when he's not at school.'

'I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not,' said Severus.

'It's just the whole biker things you got going,' said Remus.

'I like motorcycles,' said Severus. 'I'm actually saving up for one. Hopefully I can get one by next summer.'

'Then you have that in common with Sirius as well. I think he was looking into a getting a Triumph Bonneville or something.'

'You've got to be kidding me?' Severus grunted.

Remus couldn't help but grin. 'I guess you were looking at the same thing.'

'Yes,' Severus admitted, 'but now I'm not so sure anymore.'

As they approached Hogsmeade, Remus seemed to grow weary. 'We haven't been here since the attack,' he said.

'Maybe that's a good thing,' Severus responded.

'Why would that be a good thing?'

'Because now we don't have to deal with Valentine's day,' Severus answered with a grin.

'I suppose you're right,' said Remus. 'Still, walking through the village now just doesn't feel the same anymore. Like it's no longer safe.'

'A lot of things will soon start to feel that way, Remus,' said Severus in a serious manner. 'The more the Dark Lord's powers are growing, the more things will start to feel as if you can no longer trust them.'

Remus looked at Severus with concern, but did not elaborate. 'Looks like the train isn't here yet,' he said as they approached the train station.

They sat down on a bench, and Severus pulled out a map of Edinburgh from the backpack he had borrowed from Lily.

'I thought mister Belby was going to pick us up from the train station?' asked Remus.

'He is,' said Severus. 'But I figured we could use as much of the time we were given by exploring a bit more of Edinburgh.'

'I like that idea,' said Remus, now looking at the map with Severus.

'I've been told there are a lot of magical places down here in the Morningside district,' said Severus as he pointed it out on the map. 'There's a library there that I think has a hidden section, and there are some Victorian shops that I think may sell potions supplies.'

'I'll just follow your lead,' said Remus. 'If we have the time though, I'd like to see the castle as well.'

'We'll see what we can do,' said Severus as he put the map back into the backpack.

With the arrival of the first sunrays, the steam engine also appeared in the distance. They boarded the train and sat down on opposite sides beside the window.

'I could use some coffee,' said Severus as he stifled a yawn.

'As do I,' said Remus. 'I hope they got catering on this train.'

'Here,' said Severus as he pulled out some clothes from his backpack. 'I brought them just in case, but since we'll be going back tomorrow I don't really need them.'

'Thanks,' said Remus as he took the shirt and jeans from Severus. 'I really appreciate it.'

'You're as skinny as I am so it should fit.'

Remus took a look at the shirt Severus had handed him. 'Here's another thing you and Sirius have in common.'

'And what would that be?'

'You're both into Led Zeppelin.'

'I went to one of their concerts with Lily. She got tickets for my birthday back in the winter of seventy-three.'

'I thought last Christmas was the first time you went home?'

'Yes, and no,' said Severus. 'Lily send me a letter saying that her father had gotten tickets and wanted us to go, so I didn't come over until after new year's day. So yes, I have been there in the winter, just never on Christmas itself.'

'Okay,' said Remus. 'Neat that you got to go to one of their concerts. I bet Sirius would be jealous if he knew.'

'How has Black been holding up lately?' Severus asked with curiosity.

'Why do you ask?' said Remus with a raised eyebrow.

'I'm closer to his little brother than I am to him,' said Severus. 'I know things are not going well at their house.'

'I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you this,' said Remus, 'but Sirius doesn't want to go home. I believe James is still trying to convince his parents that Sirius can move in with them.'

'And how has that been going?'

'Not so well,' said Remus. 'I don't think James's parents trust Sirius that much, him being a Black and all.'

The train started moving, and Remus took the opportunity to quickly change out of his robes and into the clothes Severus had lend him. 'It's so strange,' he said as he looked down at himself, 'wearing Muggle clothes again, that is.'

'I know what you mean,' said Severus. 'I grew up among Muggles and till this day I can't get used to wearing Muggle clothes.' 'Remus,' Severus continued, 'isn't it a possibility to take Black into your home?'

'Believe me, I've thought about it,' said Remus. 'The problem is that my family moves around a lot.'

'How come?'

'Well,' Remus said with a hint of shame, 'every time we move somewhere, due to my lycanthropy the neighbours get suspicious at some point, and it's better for all of us to go somewhere else.'

'That's awful,' Severus responded in a genuine tone of voice. 'But now that we have this potion you may no longer have to.'

Remus got a smile on his face at the thought of that. 'It's a relief,' he said, 'knowing that my parents can finally settle too.'

I think I see a trolly coming,' said Severus as he looked through the window of the compartment door. Severus opened the door and got two cups of black coffee for him and Remus.

'Thanks, you want a cigarette?' asked Remus as he held out a pack to Severus.

'I'll have one,' said Severus, and lit it with a snap of his fingers. 'Reminds me, we should be careful not to use our wands now that we're not longer in Hogsmeade.'

'Good point,' said Remus. He grabbed his leather satchel and pulled out a heavy looking book.

'What are you reading?' said Severus as he pulled out Poe's work that he had borrowed from Lily.

'War and Peace,' said Remus as he held up Tolstoy's book for Severus to see. 'Possibly the toughest cookie I've ever tried to read.'

'I haven't read that in a very long time,' said Severus. 'What do you think?'

'You've actually read this?' asked Remus, weighing the heavy book in his hands. 'I'm honestly still not sure what to think. It's rather confusing considering the amount of characters that are in it.'

'I've read it a couple of times actually,' said Severus. 'I like his stance on nonviolent resistance.'

'Well, so far I've enjoyed princess Elena's character,' said Remus with a shrug. 'But I can't say that I understand warfare enough to know why some things are done the way they are done.'

Severus had to laugh at that. 'There are a lot of interesting female characters in it, but I recommend you to read it all least once or twice after you finish it to grasp it all. It's a lot to take in.'

'Seriously Severus,' said Remus, 'how come you weren't sorted into Ravenclaw?'

'Because you should never confuse knowledge with intelligence,' said Severus, now opening his own book.

The snow caped mountains of Scotland passed by as they lost themselves in their books, and before they realised it, Edinburgh was already around the corner.

…

As the train rolled into Edinburgh Waverley, Severus could see Damocles standing on the platform, wearing the typical wizard's purple and green, already waiting for them.

'It's good to see you again!' said Damocles happily as they shook hands.

'It's good to see you too,' said Severus. 'Damocles, I'd like you to meet my uhm…my friend, Remus Lupin.'

As Damocles and Remus introduced themselves to each other, Severus took a good look around at where he was standing. On a hill not far from where he was standing stood Edinburgh castle, perched magnificently on a hill, reassembling a much smaller version of Hogwarts.

'It's a beautiful sight,' said Remus as he looked into the same direction.

'At one o'clock you'll be able to hear the Howitzer being shot from the Mills Mount Battery, which is on the North side,' said Damocles. 'I've lived here for quite a few years now, and it still takes me by surprise on occasion.'

'I'd like to see it,' said Remus, unable to take his eyes of the castle.

'If we have the time I'll take both of you there tonight,' said Damocles, 'but I suggest we go to my home first and grab a bite to eat.'

'Good idea,' said Severus, feeling his stomach growl at the thought of food.

'I live up in Morningside,' said Damocles as they made their way towards the busses. 'It's the more magical part of town.'

'Any chance we could visit the library there?' asked Severus.

'I'm not sure if we have the time for that today,' said Damocles, 'and it's also closed on Sundays, but I'll see what we can do.'

'What exactly is it that we are going to do today?' Remus asked as they entered the bus.

'Well, since Severus and I created this potion together, there are some legal procedures that we need to discuss,' said Damocles. 'Along with a few other things considering the fact that we didn't achieve the exact same results.'

Twenty minutes later, they got off the bus and walked up to Abbotsford Park.

'This is where my wife and I live,' said Damocles as he pointed at an enormous Victorian house.

'That's quite an impressive abode you have,' said Remus, looking up at the old house.

'Thank you,' said Damocles with a hint of pride. 'I still consider myself extremely lucky to live here.'

Damocles led the two men through the gate, and upon entering the house Remus couldn't tear his eyes away from the chandeliers and paintings that decorated the ceilings and walls of the house.

'Catriona!' Damocles called out. 'Are you here somewhere?'

'I'm right here!' the lady called Catriona yelled back. A moment later she appeared from the kitchen with a tea towel in hand. She had a short red hair, a delicate frame revealing that she was pregnant, and a wide welcoming smile on her face. If it wasn't for the scars that she was covered with the same way Remus was, she would've looked a lot like Lily.

'Catriona,' said Damocles enthausiastically, 'this is Severus Snape, the man I've been working with, and Remus Lupin, the man who, like you, was willing to be a test subject.'

'One of the greatest decisions I've ever made,' said Remus as he shook hands with Catriona.

'Please do follow me into the dining room,' said Catriona with a wave of her hand. 'I just served tea for all of us.'

The dining room was just as elegant as the hallway had been. Tea, along with sandwiches piled up on a platter, were already waiting to be served.

'Now, before we start talking about any legal procedures,' Damocles said as they sat down on the table, 'I would like for you, Remus, to tell us a bit about your experience during your transformation.'

'Well,' Remus started after swallowing a bit of toast, 'I remember mostly getting really dizzy when the transformation started, and then after a while there was a moment of clarity and I was able to look at myself as the werewolf for the first time.'

Catriona was nodding along in understanding. 'That's exactly what I went through,' she said. 'The pain that comes with the transformation was still there, but after a while it ebbed away and I could actually see myself as a werewolf. It was bizarre.'

Remus was looking at Catriona in utter fascination. 'I'm sorry,' he said, 'but I have to say that I've never had the pleasure before to meet another werewolf on such a casual basis.'

'Me neither,' Catriona answered with a smile. 'I can't even begin to describe how happy I am to meet you here.'

'Here's an idea,' said Severus. 'How about the two of you go and have a talk in private, and Damocles and I will go over the things we need to discuss.'

Remus and Catriona both nodded in agreement and quickly returned to their vivid conversation on how they both ended up becoming werewolves. Damocles led Severus to a separate part of the dining room and closed it off with glass sliding panels.

'Do you have any idea how strong your friend is, Severus?' Damocles said seriously as he looked at the Remus and his wife having a vivid conversation.

'To be quite honest with you,' said Severus, 'for the longest thing I thought he didn't have much of a backbone. We haven't always see eye to eye.'

'This is what happens with most people who got bitten,' said Damocles. 'Either they can no longer handle the reality of being a werewolf and choose to end their own life, or they end up giving in to the werewolf inside of them and turn bad.'

'The latter is why the Dark Lord loves to recruit them,' Severus said darkly. 'They are usually shunned by society and move towards where they are accepted, much like actual wolf packs.'

Damocles was nodding along in agreement. 'What's so special about Remus and my wife is that they both have a very strong desire to live, as neither of them have turned to the dark side.'

'I've often heard Remus talk about how he had grown tired of being a werewolf,' said Severus, suddenly eerily aware that Remus's must have contemplated ending his life more than once before.

Damocles looked at Severus in a serious manner. 'Then I suppose this potion had come just in time for him.'


	70. On Werewolves within the Ministry

'Can I ask you something very personal Damocles?' asked Severus.

'Well that depends,' said Damocles, 'but I already got a feeling what is it that you are about to ask.'

'Your wife is pregnant,' said Severus while pointing at Catriona's general direction.

'What an impeccable observation, Severus,' Damocles laughed, 'but I bet that wasn't what you wanted to say.'

'How does being pregnant while being a werewolf work?' Severus asked curiously. 'I mean, she still transforms with every full moon. What does that do to the child she's carrying?'

Damocles took a good look at his wife, who was still talking enthusiastically with Remus, and smiled.

'We never planned on having children,' he said,' for the very simple reason because she is a werewolf, but then accidents do happen. You see, when we found out she was pregnant, we both thought it would soon be the end of it, and it turned out the very opposite was true.'

'Care to tell me what you mean by that?' asked Severus out of genuine interest.

'Immediately after her transformation,' said Damocles, 'we went to visit St. Mungo's to see if anything had happened to our child. As it turns out, there was nothing out of the ordinary.'

'Bizarre,' said Severus, but couldn't help but smile a little at Damocles's obvious pride.

'The fact that our unborn child was unaffected by Catriona's transformations was a blessing of course,' Damocles continued, 'but it also got me thinking, and so I asked myself, did this mean that once the werewolf comes out, Catriona remains the same on the inside?'

'Interesting philosophy,' said Severus. 'That would mean that whenever someone transforms, their human part doesn't entirely disappear, but is pushed below the surface.'

'Exactly,' said Damocles. 'That's when I started to think of a way to create some sort of potion that would make it possible to bring what's below that surface to the top, and then Severus, I received your letter, and I couldn't have asked for a better timing.'

'Just one more thing before we move on,' said Severus. 'What would happen if Catriona were to give birth during a full moon?'

'That's a thing I'd rather not find out,' said Damocles, 'but fortunately she's not due during a full moon, and the healers at St. Mungo's have told us that if she had been, they would've been able to find a way to prevent that from happening.'

'Are you in no way afraid that your child might have werewolf characteristics though?' asked Severus, feeling the need to know more.

Damocles shook his head at that. 'No, as far as I'm concerned I just wish for our child to be healthy, even if that includes eating raw steak.'

Severus looked at Remus and thought back to the time Remus had a child with Tonks. He never knew how Remus's son had been affected by his father's lycanthropy, so there was nothing that Severus could possibly say to assure Damocles that everything was going to be okay.

'So Severus,' Damocles continued, 'if we notify the ministry as soon as possible, we might be able to have the potioneers that are connected to the Ministry to start working right away.'

'Is this an idea that we wish to sell to the ministry?' asked Severus. 'Because I have no desire to make money out of this.'

'It's not so much about the money, Severus,' said Damocles 'but you do understand that the Ministry will have to get involved with this if we want to make it available for everyone who suffers from lycanthropy.'

'I am aware,' said Severus in reassuringly. 'Privatizing it would only result into it becoming too expensive for individual use. The problem however, is that I personally don't want my name too involved in it considering what happened to me last Christmas.'

'What happened to you last Christmas?' Damocles asked with a hint of concern, but before Severus was able to answer, Catriona opened the doors.

'Damo,' she said, 'is it possible that you take these two gentlemen out to town? I would like to go and lie down for a bit.'

'Will do,'said Damocles,' and I actually have a pretty good idea on where to take them.'

Severus quickly helped himself to another sandwich before they all headed outside to the bus station.

'We're not going to visit the library I take it?' asked Severus.

'You won't find anything at the library here that you can't find at Hogwarts,' said Damocles with a shrug, 'so there is no point in going really, but I have a better plan.'

'And what would that be?' said Remus as they hopped on the bus.

'I assume you're both into literature?' asked Damocles.

Both Severus and Remus nodded in agreement.

'Up on the Royal Mile is The Writers' Museum,' Damocles explained. 'It's a great place to visit and the street also leads up to the castle.'

'That would be great!' Remus said excitedly.

'I'm up for it,' said Severus.

'So, what did you and Catriona talk about, Remus?'

Remus looked around to make sure no one could hear them talk. 'We talked about when it happened to us and how it has affected our lives mostly. She's wonderful to talk to.'

'Have you two figured anything out regarding the wolfsbane potion?' Remus continued. 'Legal wise and all that I mean.'

'Not yet,' said Damocles. 'Severus doesn't want his name too much involved with it although I don't know why yet. The problem though, is that as soon as we present this to the Ministry, I can guarantee that receiving an Order of Merlin will not go unnoticed.'

Remus looked at Severus with his eyes wide open. 'Woah,' he said, 'I hadn't even thought of that.'

Severus got lost in thought on the bus ride to the city's center. Damocles was right. In his previous life he remembered Damocles had received an Order of Merlin for creating the wolfsbane potion, and his own involvement wasn't going to change that. A part of him secretly liked the idea of receiving an Order or Merlin. To be acknowledged for something in his life in the name of something good was not an opportunity he liked to waste, but he knew better than that. If his name was once again to appear in the papers, the Dark Lord's side will grow more restless. It was not a risk worth taking.

The Royal Mile consisted mostly of teashops and tourist attractions, but the view that led up to the castle was indeed an impressive sight to behold. Once they had nearly reached the top, Damocles turned a right corner and faced an old small building. Above the door hung a sign of a man at a writer's desk, and had _The Writers' Museum_ written below it.

A spiral staircase led them to a room with a high ceiling and a balcony. There was a lot of emphasis on Sir Walter Scott and Robert Burnt's work. Damocles ended up conversing with an employee, while Severus and Remus looked through all the books that were all on display.

'Would you like me to tell Damocles what happened to you last Christmas, Severus? asked Remus.

Severus nodded in agreement. 'I would appreciate that,' he said softly. 'He doesn't understand why I want to keep my name out of the papers, but talking about it doesn't come easy.'

'Then I'll go do that for you,' Remus said as he gave Severus a pat on the shoulder.

It didn't take long before Severus caught the gaze of Damocles, who looked at him with a hint of pity, but also in understanding.

'Ready to go up to the castle?' asked Damocles.

Remus was nodding enthusiastically and dragged Severus outside before he was able to protest. The one o'clock gun had already been fired some time before when they were still at Damocles's home, but that didn't take away the experience of seeing the magnificent view of the city from the castle's perspective. They sat down on the stone wall that had a good overview of the city, and Damocles pulled out three Irn-Bru's from his coat to share.

'I understand now why you prefer not to have your name on the potion, Severus,' said Damocles. 'But isn't there any way that you want to be acknowledged for this? I can't just turn it in claiming it as my own alone. Especially not since you were the one who discovered a way for werewolves to speak.'

'I'm honestly conflicted about this, Damocles,' said Severus. 'A part of me would like to have some recognition for the work I put into it, but I need to be wise about this and keep my name away from such matters.'

'I think it's time for me to ask you something personal,' said Damocles, 'if I may?'

Severus took a sip from the Irn-Bru he was given and nodded.

'Have you been, in one way or another, been involved with anything related on you-know-who's side?'

Severus nearly spat out his drink after Damocles's question. 'Why do you ask?' Severus asked sharply.

'Lean in a bit, Remus,' Damocles said while lowering his voice. 'I don't speak much with my direct family, and the reason for that is because my wife is a werewolf which is something they very much frown upon, but on my behalf I stay away from them because they aren't exactly hiding the fact that they support you-know-who's cause.'

Severus narrowed his eyes at Damocles. 'Are you aware that there's an infiltration happening at the ministry right now?'

'Sort of,' said Damocles, 'and I think that it could work in our advantage.'

Severus shot him a puzzled look. 'How is that remotely supposed to work in our advantage?'

'As we spoke of earlier today Severus,' Damocles continued, 'a lot of werewolves go where they are accepted, and in this case we see a large group migrating towards you-know-who's ranks. In other words, if this potion could help put werewolves in a different light because they no longer form a threat, they might no longer want to join you-know-who's side in this war.'

Remus was listening attentively to what Damocles had to say. 'I think that's brilliant,' he said, 'but how could you possibly find werewolves amongst a group of people? I mean, we're not exactly the kind that likes to admit we're werewolves.'

'And that's where Catriona comes in,' Damocles answered with a wide smile. 'She's currently trying to track down and register werewolves in the country. It's a slow process, but it's a start.'

'Is there any way I could work with her?' asked Remus. He looked as if the greatest idea of the last century had been handed to him on a silver platter.

'That's something you will have to discuss with her,' Damocles responded. 'These are all just ideas, of course. If there was only a way to find the right person inside the ministry, we could have a ball rolling in no time.'

'There's another way we could attracts the werewolves in this country,' said Severus as he gazed into the distance.

'How would we do that?' asked Damocles.

'You just said something about needing the right person inside the ministry,' said Severus, unable to hide the grin on his face, 'and I think I know exactly which person could help us achieve that goal.'

…

They didn't come back to Damocles's house until late at night. They had gone on tour inside the castle and on exploration in the city. The conversations were mainly dominated by ideas on how to bring the potion on the market, and contact other potioneers to talk about providing aid for werewolves. With every discussion, Remus seemed to grow more hopeful about his future than ever before.

Severus and Remus were giving a guestroom with two single beds to sleep in, which they both crashed into after they had changed into pajamas.

'Severus,' said Remus softly as they were lying in the dark, 'can I talk to you about something?'

'Sure,' said Severus.

'Well, I was a bit reluctant to ask Catriona about this as it seemed too personal,' said Remus, 'but she's pregnant, and a werewolf.'

'I talked to Damocles about that,' said Severus reassuringly. 'She and the child are doing fine despite the lycanthropy.'

'That's good to hear,' Remus answered with a sigh of relief. 'It just made me wonder if that meant I could ever possibly have children on my own. I never even considered it as an option since passing on lycanthropy is the last thing I would want to impose on a child.'

'I think you have less to fear than you make yourself believe,' said Severus. 'Would you want to have children some day?'

'I do,' said Remus matter-of-factly. 'I've always liked children. I just never thought it was possible for me up till now.'

Remus turned on his side and faced Severus. 'Would you ever want to have children, Severus?' he asked in return.

'I've never really thought about it,' said Severus, 'but I don't think it would be such a good idea for me to have children.'

'Why would you say that?' Remus asked. 'I know Lily would like to have children some day.'

'I'm not against the idea of children,' said Severus, and smiled a little despite of himself. 'Especially not if, for whatever reason, I would end up having them with Lily, but I just don't know how to be a father.'

Remus had a look of sadness in his eyes when he heard Severus speak. 'I just don't understand why you think you wouldn't make a good father.'

Severus shrugged it off and turned around. 'Goodnight Remus,' he mumbled.

Remus had understood the hint and did not question Severus any further on it. 'Goodnight Severus.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Fact: Cookbooks can officially not be copyrighted, or at least not the recipes within it, meaning that you could technically copy down all the recipes from one book, stick it together in another book, and sell it as your own. I think the same thing happens with potions, as they are made up out of ingredients that cannot be copyrighted. The idea can be sold, but you can't demand money every single time the potion is made.  
> A/N Irn-Bru is a typical (non-alcoholic) Scottish fizzy drink.  
> A/N The fact that werewolves can be female and thus can also be pregnant is basically a big plot hole in the Harry Potter series, and werewolf history in general.


	71. A Student has been Petrified

Damocles served his wife and guests breakfast the next morning. 'We've come up with a great plan last night,' Damocles said enthusiastically to Catriona.

'Do tell,' said Catriona, her eyes wide in anticipation.

'Severus has told me that there's a certain lady within the Ministry who may be able to help us out.'

Severus got a sly grin on his face. 'This particular lady has certain _disagreements_ regarding people whom she considers "half-breeds". So, if we were to offer this potion as a means of helping anyone who deals with lycanthropy, she will most likely cause a tamper tantrum, and the whole wizarding world will know about it in no time.'

'And that includes everyone with lycanthropy,' Remus added. 'Meaning that most werewolves within the country will start looking for the potion the moment it's mentioned, anonymous or not.

'Another result,' Severus added, 'is that potioneers from all over the country will be notified and can thus collaborate, making the potion cheaper because of the supply and demand.'

'Do you think the Ministry will still give appraisal for your work though?' Catriona asked. 'If you were to give it to someone who would rather see werewolves go than come, wouldn't that mean any sort of recognition for your work becomes debatable?'

'It will be,' said Damocles, 'but Severus and I came to the agreement that we did not create this potion for recognition. We did it to help people like you and Remus, and that's worth more than any award the ministry could provide.'

'Any idea on when the two of you are going to the ministry for this?' asked Catriona.

'I received an invitation from my old professor to come to his party some time in March,' said Damocles. 'I believe professor Slughorn will be more than willing to participate.'

'When will his next party be?' Severus asked. 'I haven't heard anything from him yet.'

'The twentieth if I'm not mistaken,' said Damocles. 'A perfect way for us to meet again and work on a strategy with Slughorn's involvement. The man's got a lot of useful connections we could take advantage of.'Is there something the two of you would like to do before you head back to Hogwarts today?'

'We talked about visiting the National Gallery this morning,'said Remus. 'It's right beside the train station so it's a great way to spend some time before we head back.'

'Can I entrust the two of you to find your way there?' asked Damocles. 'My wife and I would like to spend some together on our day off.'

'That won't be a problem,' said Severus. 'We will go grab our belongings after breakfast. We've got a long journey back to Hogsmeade ahead of us.'

After sharing their gratitude and goodbyes, Severus and Remus made their way back towards the city's center.

'Great people,' said Remus. 'If theres any way I could gatecrash the next Slug club meeting to see Damocles again, I'd be more than happy to do so.'

'No need to,' said Severus. 'We're allowed to bring dates.'

'Are you asking me on a date, Severus?' said Remus teasingly, blinking his eyes in a seductive manner.

'Technically, yes,' said Severus, trying hard to keep a straight face. 'But honestly, feel free to come along. The more people there are the happier Slughorn gets.'

They did a quick round inside the National Gallery, admiring paintings from Raphael to Rembrandt. Severus couldn't help but be reminded of Petunia after they passed a collection of landscapes by various artists.

'Despite the fact that all those Muggle paintings are stationary in their frames,' said Remus as they headed for the train, 'I can see why people admire them and – is that Leo?' Remus was pointing at the sky where he saw a tiny rufous owl circling above them.

'Leo!' Severus called out, causing people to look in his general direction. Leo quickly plunged into a dive and landed on Severus's shoulder. In his small beak he held a tiny note, which he handed over to Severus.

Severus unrolled the note and read Lily's hastly written message.

" _Come back to Hogwarts as soon as possible. Danger!"_

Severus didn't give a Remus a chance to read along, and grabbed him by his sleeve to drag him into a dark corner of an alleyway. Quickly he stuffed Leo in his pocket and looked directly into Remus's eyes. 'Remus,' he said firmly. 'Promise you won't utter a single word about this?'

'About what?' Remus asked, afraid of what was going on.

'Something bad is happening at Hogwarts,' said Severus hastily. 'Grab my arm.'

'But—'

'—Just do as I say!'

Remus grabbed Severus firmly by the arm and instantly they disapparated away from the scene. With a soft popping sound, they appeared on the edge of the forest near the Hogwarts grounds a moment later.

Remus nearly tipped over from the sudden squeezing sensation that apparition caused. 'Did we just apparate here?' Remus asked in disbelief, still trying to catch his breath. 'But how?'

Severus pulled Leo out of his pocket and quickly tossed him into the air. 'Go warn Lily we're back,' he said to Leo. Leo shot him an angry glare and immediately sped off towards the castle.

Without looking back, Severus started running up the castle, Remus following closely behind. 'My mother taught me,' Severus lied. 'She was never one to stick to the rules.'

'Then why didn't we just apparate to Edinburgh?' asked Remus. 'Why bother to take the train?'

'Because it's not exactly legal is it?' Severus sneered back. 'Please do me a favour Remus, and don't say a word to anyone about this. Not to your friends. Not to teachers. Especially not Lily.'

'I won't,' said Remus. 'I promise. Care to tell me what's going on?'

'I got a message from Lily that something dangerous is going on at the castle,' said Severus, now following the path that led to the main entrance, 'so you better pull out your wand and be prepared for whatever is about to come.'

Remus didn't need to ask twice and pulled out his wand right before they entered the entrance hall.

It was dead quiet inside the entrance hall, but as soon as they turned the corner into the great hall, the entire school was sitting there, causing an uproar.

'Sev!' Lily yelled from the Gryffindor table. She quickly ran up to him and threw her arms around him. 'I was hoping you'd be here right after Leo came flying in. How did you come back to quickly?'

'Damocles apparated us back,' said Severus. 'Care to tell me what's going on?'

'Some Ravenclaw girl has been petrified,' said Lily. 'And a message was left on the wall of first floor where they found her.'

As if an anvil had dropped inside his stomach, Severus recalled the last time students had started to become petrified. 'Where's Dumbledore?' he asked hastily.

'Still at the ministry,' said Lily. 'It's why McGonagall is standing up there.'

'Could you take me to the first floor then?' Severus demanded. 'I need to see this for myself.'

'Sev were not supposed to—' but before Lily was able to finish her sentence, Severus had already run off to the staircases.

'Sev it could be dangerous out there!' Lily called after him, but she followed him nonetheless.

There, on the walls written in blood, were the words "ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE."

Something was off about the message. Something was missing.

'Lily,' Severus said as calmly as he could, 'do you have any idea where Hagrid is? There's something that I need to confirm for myself.'

Lily shot him a puzzled look. 'Probably in the great hall like everyone else, but why—'

'Just follow me,' Severus said as he turned around and headed back to the great hall. There he found Hagrid, surrounded by a group of Hufflepuffs.

'Hagrid,' Severus called out, 'can I asked you something?'

'Aye,' said Hagrid. 'You worried about something?'

'Do by any chance,' Severus said clearly, 'have any chickens died recently?'

'Well I lost a couple of roosters to foxes I think,' said Hagrid. 'Happens from time to time though. Kinda odd it were just the roosters—'

Severus didn't need to hear anything else. His worst suspicion had been confirmed. But how? Why was this happening again at such a different time compared to his past? Why was there only a warning, and not that the Chamber of Secrets had been opened again?

'Thanks Hagrid,' said Severus. 'I know enough.'

Severus turned to Lily, who's expression had gone beyond confusion. 'Do you know what's going on, Sev?' she asked in an almost angrily manner.

'I have a suspicion,' said Severus. 'A suspicion that I can only confirm for sure once Dumbledore's back.'

'I don't understand—'

'You will later,' Severus reassured her. 'Is everyone we know right here in the great hall?'

Lily looked around hastily to see if she saw everyone she knew. 'Evan's not looking good,' she said, pointing at Evan who was looking as white as a ghost. 'Mind if I go and looked after him?'

'Please do,' said Severus, 'I'll see if I can find out when Dumbledore will be back.'

Quickly Severus ran up to professor McGonagall, and she assured him that Dumbledore should be back as soon as the message had been delivered to him. From the teacher's platform Severus could see Avery and Mulciber sitting at the Slytherin table. They looked just as confused as the rest of the students, and Severus conclused that they didn't know what was going on either.

At the Ravenclaw table Severus could see professor Flitwick desperately trying to count all of his students. As he counted, it seemed as if he kept missing one over and over, and started over as if he couldn't quite believe that he was missing one.

Severus could see that Barty Crouch was present. As he kept looking along with Flitwick to find out who was missing, he noticed the first years that were all huddled together in a group, and then it hit him.

Once again he escaped from the great hall and ran back up the first floor. Lily had said that it had been a Ravenclaw girl that had been petrified, meaning that it couldn't have been Lockhart, and he was still out here somewhere.

Logically the first place to look was inside the girl's bathroom on the first floor, as Severus knew that that was where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets was.

There, his suspicion was confirmed.

'You'll be alright,' said a sweet voice from near the sinks. 'It will get better I – WHO ARE YOU!'

Moaning Myrtle had caught sight of Severus, and there wasn't any trace left of the kindness she had spoken with earlier.

'There's a student missing, Myrtle,' said Severus calmly. 'And I believe it is the very same student you are currently talking with.'

Sitting on the floor against the sink was Lockhart, wiping his eyes dry with the sleeve of his robes.

It was almost an ironic sight to behold. The man who once claimed he knew the secret entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, was now leaning up against it, entirely oblivious to the danger that was hiding below.

'Hello Lockhart,'said Severus, 'care to tell me why you are here when everybody else is in the great hall?'

'Care to tell me why _you_ are here when everybody else is in the great hall?' Lockhart sneered back. 'How do you even know who I am?'

'I remember your name from the sorting ceremony,' said Severus, a little taken aback by Lockhart's defensive stance. 'Will you be willing to follow me back to the great hall?'

Lockhart shook his head, his eyes still red from the tears he shed.

Severus, to Myrtle's irritation, sat down in front of Lockhart. 'Care to tell me what's happened then?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I hate apparition. It's one of the major things that riddled the entire story with plot holes so big, it's like trying to plug a leaking sieve.


	72. The Bathroom of Moaning Myrtle

'I don't get along with anyone here,' Lockhart admitted. 'So I talk with Myrtle from time to time.'

Myrtle was floating halfway through a bathroom door, smiling at Lockhart as he said it.

'And what makes you think nobody likes you?' Severus asked.

'I don't just think they do,' said Lockhart sharply, 'I know they do. They call me a know-it-all all the time.'

'Maybe they're not wrong,' Severus stated. 'Maybe you are a bit too eager to be heard.'

'Well you're not exactly a nice guy either, are you?' Lockhart answered with a scowl.

'Never have been, never will be,' said Severus. 'I'm a Slytherin. I don't sugarcoat my words.'

'I nearly got sorted into Slytherin,' said Lockhart with a sour look on his face. 'I actually asked the sorting hat not to put me there. Didn't want to deal with all that dark stuff.'

'Not all of us lean to the Dark side, Lockhart,' said Severus.

'Then where do you stand?' Lockhart asked boldly, no longer having any tears in his eyes.

'With me,' said Severus, unsure why he even bothered to answer his question. 'Because quite frankly, you can't trust anyone in these times. The best thing you can do is to stand by yourself.'

'That actually makes sense,' Lockhart admitted. 'Why did you come and look for me?'

'Even if your classmates don't care about you,' said Severus, 'I know that professor Flitwick is losing his wits over the fact that you're gone. A girl just got attacked, and for all he knows the same thing happened to you.'

Lockhart looked down at the floor in shame. 'I just saw an opportunity to be alone for a bit,' he said. 'I actually talked to her shortly before she got attacked.'

'What did you two talk about?' Severus asked, getting curious.

'The fact that she's Muggle born,' said Lockhart. 'I'm a half-blood myself and I got two older sisters who are both squibs. We found some common ground regarding pressure from our families.'

Severus nodded in understanding. 'Will you please come back with me to the great hall?' he asked. 'If not for yourself, at least do it for professor Flitwick.'

Lockhart contemplated for a moment, and then agreed to come along. 'I'll come back again, Myrtle,' he promised her. 'Thank you for the thing you gave me.'

'I'm already looking forward to it,' Myrtle said with a shy giggle, and disappeared down the drain of the sink.

'Poor Myrtle,' said Lockhart as they made their way back to the great hall. 'Sometimes students come into her bathroom and just start tossing things at her. She may be a ghost but she still has feelings.'

'She's nothing more than an imprint of her old self,' said Severus. 'She'll always be an emotional spirit.'

Lockhart shrugged off Severus's comment. 'At least she's nice to me, unlike other people.'

Once they had returned to the great hall, Severus ushered Lockhart to run up to Flitwick, who nearly fainted from relieve to see his student safe.

The chaos that went on earlier had turned into complete silence. All students were sitting at the table of their respected houses. Dumbledore had returned.

'I want all prefects to lead the students back to the dormitories,' said Dumbledore in a calm and clear voice. 'Teachers, I need you all the gather here and talk about what happened while I was gone.'

Severus saw Remus and Alice taking the lead, and soon the rest of the school followed the way out of the great hall.

'Mister Snape,' Dumbledore called out. 'I would appreciate it if you could stay here as well.'

Through the hassle, Severus saw Lily look at him as she headed for the staircases. 'What is going on?' she signed to him, avoiding being overheard if she would talk out loud.

'I am not sure myself,' Severus signed back. 'But I have a theory. I will tell you everything later.'

Once the entire great hall was cleared, the teachers gathered around the Hufflepuff table and quickly ended up in a heated discussion. This had happened before at some point in his previous life, but to be sitting among the teachers as a student made him feel oddly out of place.

Is the girl all right? Who could possibly be responsible for this? What does the message on the wall mean?

Severus knew better than to answer until he was alone with Dumbledore. He knew of the monster that was hiding in the Chamber of Secrets.

After madam Pomfrey and professor Sprout were able to convince everyone that the girl would be fine once the mandrakes were fully matured, the heads of each house made their way to the dormitories, and the rest of the teachers headed to their own place of residence.

Dumbledore didn't speak until they had made their way into his office, and then he immediately turned to business.

'Has this ever happened before, Severus?' he asked.

'Sort of,' said Severus. 'It didn't happen around this particular time and there was more to the message, but students were definitely falling victim to petrification.'

'Please tell me everything you know, Severus. The more we know the sooner we can stop this.'

'Remember how I told you about a monster that lives in the very bowels of this castle?' Severus said darkly.

'A basilisk,' said Dumbledore. 'If I recall correctly.'

Severus nodded. 'Hagrid's roosters have been killed not too long ago, and we both know that basilisks flee from the crowing of roosters, as the sound is fatal to them.'

'And spiders flee from it,' Dumbledore said in confirmation to himself. 'But what does a basilisk have to do with the message that was left on the wall? Or the poor girl who has been petrified? The gaze of the basilisk is said to be a deadly one.'

'She must've seen the snake indirectly,' said Severus. 'It's what happened to most of the students last time.'

'But what of the message on the wall?'

'Albus, how familiar are you with the tale of the Chamber of Secrets?'

'Are you telling me that the stories are true?' Dumbledore asked. 'That Slytherin has built a secret room within this castle?'

'He did,' Severus confirmed. 'Do you remember back in the forties that something similar happened? That students were being petrified without knowing what caused it? And that ultimately a girl was killed, nearly causing the school to be closed?'

'I remember all of those things,' said Dumbledore sadly. 'The girl still haunts the bathroom in which she had died until this day.'

'And do you remember a particular student who attended Hogwarts during that time?'

'Are you telling me that Lord Voldemort is behind all this, Severus?'

'As both you and I know,' said Severus, 'the Dark Lord is the last remaining heir of Slytherin. The same heir that the message on the walls speaks of, and also the only remaining heir that could tame the beast.'

'What I am saying is,' Severus continued, 'is that the Dark Lord is behind is one way or another. I don't know how, I don't know why, but this is not a matter to take lightly.'

Dumbledore seemed to be at loss for words. 'Do you know where we can find this Chamber?' he asked.

'It's located inside Myrtle's bathroom on the first floor,' said Severus. 'The problem however is that the Chamber can only be opened by the means of Parseltongue, and I don't know anyone other than the Dark Lord himself who can speak such a language.'

'What do we do now, Severus?' Dumbledore asked on a tone of defeat. 'I cannot sit back in idle and await the next attack.'

'We must try to find out who is responsible for the writings on the wall,' said Severus. 'Someone from the inside is being held under control. All we can do is keep a sharp eye on anything that seems out of the ordinary.'

'Than that is what we shall do,' said Dumbledore. 'I will not bother you with any questions regarding your weekend in Edinburgh with mister Lupin today, so I suggest we will do that as of tomorrow when we meet again near Hagrid's hut.'

Severus nodded in agreement, and with a mind spinning about everything that was going down, and left the office to head back to the lab.

'There you are,' said Lily with a sigh of relief. 'I was wondering when you'd be back.'

Lily was sitting on Severus's bed, leafing through one of his schoolbooks.

'I didn't expect to see you here,' said Severus. 'I thought everyone had to be back in their dormitories.'

'Being friends with Alice and Remus has its advantages,' said Lily. 'They know I'm down here.'

'Severus,' Lily continued, 'what does "Sectumsempra" mean?'

Only now did Severus realise that Lily was leafing through his note riddled potions book. 'Nothing,' he said quickly as he walked up to her. 'Just a failed spell I tried to invent. I should probably erase that.'

He held out his hand to grab the book from Lily, but she held it back.

'I can tell you are angry with me,' Severus said coldly while folding his arms over each other. 'Care to tell me why?'

'You know something about this whole ordeal, don't you?' Lily asked with narrowing eyes.

'Like I told you before,' Severus stated, 'I have a theory. Nothing more, nothing less.'

'Then tell me,' said Lily with a sour tone to her voice, 'why is it that Dumbledore asked you to stay behind as if he already knew that you were somehow involved in this.'

'I am not involved in this,' Severus snapped back. 'But you also know that there are a lot of things said between Dumbledore and I that I cannot tell you.'

'All of this secrecy Severus!' Lily said angrily as she tossed the book aside. 'Will there ever be a time where you will tell me everything? Will you ever trust me enough to just tell me what is going on in your life?'

Lily was starting to get tears in her eyes. 'I just don't understand,' she said, her voice filled with emotion.

Severus sat down beside her on the bed and pulled her into an embrace. 'There will come a time where I will tell you everything,' he said in an attempt to sound reassuring.

Lily buried her face into his shoulder. 'I'm not angry with you Sev,' she said with a thick voice. 'I'm just worried. Strange things are happening and I can't help but see that you are involved somehow.'

Severus didn't know how to answer that, so instead he held her a little tighter against him and felt himself relax as he drew in her familiar musky scent. 'I can't force you to trust me,' she said softly. 'But I do want you to know that all the good things in my life, I owe them all to you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N According to Harry Potter wiki, Gilderoy Lockhart is a half-blood and has two older squib sisters. He also narrowly "escaped" from being sorted into Slytherin, which gave me the idea that he asked the sorting hat not to be placed in it. Being the only magical offspring became the foundation for (particularly) his mother's favoritism towards him, and thus lay the foundation for his vanity. In other words, Lockhart got a big Dudley Dursley complex, which is actually kind of sad if you think about it.  
> 


	73. Evan's Solid Advice

Severus was lying in bed and looked up at the family portrait that Petunia had painted for him. He had just brought Lily back to the Gryffindor dormitory, not too keen on having her wander around the castle by herself now that there's a potential monster on the loose. Not that she knew about any of that, of course.

Lily may have issues trusting him, and for good reason, but still Severus couldn't help but feel as if they had grown closer to each other than they had ever done before. Deep down inside he had a feeling he knew why. He had never been much of a person who enjoyed being embraced. To the contrary, the last thing he ever wanted was for people to touch him, but with Lily it was a whole different story.

The conversations he has had with Remus regarding his relationship with Lily were always on replay somewhere in the back of his mind. Especially after their conversation during the night they spent in Edinburgh. For Lily to be a part of his life has always been his biggest wish, but in what form? He could no longer deny the desire within him that wanted to be close to her. For them to be so much more than just best friends.

But would Lily return the same kind of feelings that he held for her? Or will she always look at him as her best friend? Severus turned away from the painting, frustrated with the fact that the dynamics between Lily and him bothered him more than the fact that the Dark Lord was trying to slither his way into Hogwarts.

After several moments of tossing and turning in his bed, he threw the blankets aside and decided to just pull through the night. A part of him was sorely tempted to sneak his way up to the Gryffindor common room and just ask her what she felt for him, but his rational mind kept him from doing so for obvious reasons.

He grabbed his bass, tuned it, started playing a few songs to put his mind a bit more at ease, only to be remembered that it is much more fun to be making music with Lily rather than alone.

He looked around at all the cauldrons that were simmering. Lily's special project on brewing Felix Felicis was taking off quite nicely, and should be ready around the time of their O.W.L. exams. Remus's new batch for wolfsbane potion was also looking good, as were the small supplies of potions that Lily was selling.

He had no more homework to do. He had finished the books Lily had lent him, and didn't feel up to play any more songs on his bass. In other words, Severus was feeling something that he hadn't felt in a very long time. Boredom.

Something remained itching inside of him to go up and talk to Lily, and needed to remind himself over and over again that the Fat Lady probably wouldn't allow him inside the Gryffindor common room at this hour, let alone the fact that Lily was most likely asleep.

He did the next best thing he could think of and walked out of the lab towards Evan's room. Gently he knocked on the door, making sure that Evan wouldn't be awoken just in case he was asleep. A shuffling sound from behind the door however, revealed otherwise, and the door swung open to reveal a still fully dressed Evan.

'Can't sleep either, can you?' Evan said with a stifled yawn.

'No, not really,' said Severus while running his hand through his hair. 'Mind if I come in?'

'Yeah, sure,' said Evan as he pointed towards his bed. 'Please sit down. Want some tea?'

'I could use some,' said Severus as he sat down.

Evan put his desk chair beside the bed, conjured two mugs of tea out of thin air, and handed one to Severus.

'Is the whole attack thing on that Ravenclaw girl keeping you awake as well?' Evan asked as he sat down and rested his legs upon the bed.

Severus shook his head. 'There's something else that's clouding my mind to tell you the truth.'

'And what would that be?' Evan asked as he took a sip of his tea.

'Lily,' said Severus, unable to hide a hint of a smile.

'I should've known,' Evan said with a twinkle in his eye. 'How are things between the two of you?'

'Quite alright I suppose,' said Severus with a shrug. 'Other than the fact that I feel as if we'll always remain best friends.'

'Why don't you just grow a pair and asked her out on a date?' Evan said as he put his mug aside.

'And what good would that do?' said Severus. 'By that logic, Lily and I have been on going out since we were nine. What difference does it make?'

'It's not about the date you idiot,' said Evan, 'it's about the intention. I get that you don't have to get to know her better. It's about doing something that is just for her.'

Subconsciously Severus had taken a hold of Evan's pillow. 'What if she just laughs at me when I do?'

Evan looked at Severus as if he could not believe what he was hearing. 'She won't laugh at you,' he said. 'Seriously, Severus, what is it that has been holding you back for so long?'

'I'm afraid that she won't look at me the same way if I did ask her out,' Severus admitted. 'I kind of pride myself on the fact that she feels safe with me, and I don't want to turn into just another bloke who's got his priorities all wrong.'

Evan rolled his eyes at Severus's words. 'Severus, there's one thing that you need to keep in mind,' he said as he leaned in closer. 'Lily's not an ugly girl alright.'

Severus was about to start a protest, but Evan forced him to stop. 'Just hear me out,' said Evan sharply. 'Not only is she pretty, but she also has a good heart, okay? You should've seen what she did for me just earlier today.'

'The thing is, Severus,' Evan continued, 'that Potter bloke isn't the only one looking at her. There are more people out there who are caught by her doe-eyed gaze and someday there will come a point where she returns it. And before you know it, it'll be her wedding day and she will be Mrs. no-longer-Evans while you're standing behind her as her best man, watching her walk away while you are filled with sorrow and regret.'

'You make it sound like you speak from experience,' said Severus, rather impressed by Evan's little speech.

'I'm not,' Evan answered with a smile, 'but I'd hate to see you fill yourself up with regret if Lily moves on with someone else just because you were too afraid to take the risk.'

Severus started plucking at a feather that was poking out of the pillow, unsure of what to say.

'Can I ask you something, Severus?'

'Sure,' Severus said with a shrug.

'Have you ever liked any other girls aside from Lily? Or any other blokes for all that I care, but have you ever felt anything for anyone else that wasn't Lily?'

Severus shook his head. 'I can't imagine a future with anyone else other than Lily, to tell you the truth.'

'So you have actually never snogged a girl?' Evan asked.

Severus shook his head again. 'I haven't.'

'You precious virgin,' Evan teased. 'Honestly, I am somewhat tempted to just stand up and snog you senseless just so you know what it's like. But don't worry,' Evan said quickly after he saw Severus's eyes growing big, 'I'm not into blokes so it's not going to happen.'

Severus started laughing at Evan's comment. 'I take it you're not a virgin then.'

'Trust me,' said Evan, 'you don't want to know what it is you're sitting on.'

Severus flung the pillow he was holding at Evan. 'That is just nasty,' he said, unable to stop laughing.

'Stop it, Severus,' said Evan as he laughed along, 'it's weird to see you laugh.'

'It's weird to see you laugh as well,' said Severus. 'You looked like utter shit for a long time.'

'I'm starting to feel a bit better,' said Evan, 'despite what happened to that Ravenclaw girl today.' Evan stopped smiling the moment he said it. 'It bugs me though. I've always considered Hogwarts to be the safest place I could possibly be, and after today I'm not so sure about that anymore.'

'Even Hogwarts isn't entirely impenetrable,' said Severus. 'We can only hope that the Ravenclaw girl will be the only one who got attacked, and that the message on the wall is just a false alarm.'

Evan let out an involuntary shiver. 'I've got a bad feeling that this is not going to be the end of it,' he said darkly.

'Me neither,' Severus agreed. 'For now all we can do is keep our eyes open.'

Severus grabbed his mug of tea and drained it in one gulp. 'I should probably head back to my own room and try to get some sleep.'

'Good idea,' said Evan. 'There's one more thing I'd like to tell you before you leave though.'

'And what would that be?' Severus asked as he stood up from the bed.

'Do me, and basically everybody else that knows you and Lily a favour, and don't wait too long to ask her out.'

'I'll do my best,' said Severus, unsure how he was possibly going to ask Lily out on a date without making a fool of himself.

'I don't know if Lily ever told you this, 'said Evan, 'or whether you ever told Lily for the matter, but she loves you mate. She really does.'

'I've never told her that I loved her before,' said Severus, feeling his face starting to glow.

'Then maybe it's time you did,' said Evan with a smirk.

Severus gave a stiff nod in understanding. 'Thank you for the tea. I better head back.'

'Alright,' said Evan, 'see you at History of Magic tomorrow.'

Severus was tempted to bang his head against the stone wall of the dungeons, but his legs insisted that he kept walked back to the lab instead.

He slumped down into his bed, his mind filled with even more thoughts than before. He wanted to curse himself for not asking whether Evan had actually heard Lily tell him that she loves him, or that it was just an assumption he had made based on his own observations.

Evan was right though. Lily was not an invisible girl, and the thought of a room full of prying eyes all looking at her like Potter stirred a nasty sensation in his stomach.

Asking her out wasn't something that he just wanted to do out of the blue. There was also the fact that he lives with her parents. Erwin may have taken the hint that Severus felt something for his daughter, but he still may not approve of them as a couple as long as they live together under his roof. A thought flashed through his mind that maybe he should just shove his pride aside and write Erwin a letter, asking if he would be okay for him to take Lily out on a date. If he could get Erwin's approval, he could figure out the rest later.

Severus turned on his side, once again facing the family portrait that Petunia had made, and smiled. Lily may not be his girlfriend, but the fact that she had given him a family and a home were worth more than all the gold at Gringotts.

And with that thought in mind, he fell into a peaceful sleep.


	74. A Thestral's Presence

The attack on the Ravenclaw girl, along with the cryptic message on the wall, had become the talk of the day.

With each passing lesson Severus grew more and more annoyed with everyone's outrageous theories, and was relieved when the day was finally over, only to be reminded that he had to go back into the woods with Dumbledore after dinner.

When Lily sat down beside him during dinner, he could see Evan staring at him and form a sly grin on his face. Evan then turned to Lily as if he was trying to make sure she wasn't watching, and once she turned to a conversation with Alice, he took his shot.

'D-A-T-E-Y-E-T?' he slowly signed to Severus with one hand.

Severus shook his head. Knowing that Evan would never catch on if he signed back that he wanted to write to her parents first, he signed something back that he knew Evan would be able to decipher. 'T-A-K-I-N-G-M-Y-T-I-M-E' he signed back.

'I will ask her out if you don't,' Evan whispered after he figured out what Severus had told him.

Severus shot him a murderous glare back. 'You wouldn't,' he gritted back through his teeth.

'Wouldn't what?' Lily asked as she turned around.

'Nothing,' said Severus quickly to turn the conversation. 'I wonder what Dumbledore has in store for me today.'

'Wish I could come with,' said Lily. 'I'm actually kind of curious to see what Dumbledore does to help you.'

'Perhaps next week,' said Severus. 'I will ask him if he's okay with me bringing you along.'

'I'd like that,' said Lily.

Severus couldn't help but look at the curve of her lips as she twisted them into a smile, and felt an urge to reach out and touch them. 'I better go,' he said. 'Dumbledore must be waiting for me by now.'

He finished up his dinner hastily an hurried off towards Hagrid's hut, as if hurrying away from Lily was the only thing that kept him from reaching out to her.

Dumbledore was already there, having a vivid conversation with Hagrid.

'There you are, mister Snape,' Dumbledore said with a smile. 'Are you ready for another stroll into the woods?'

Severus had to admit that being blindfolded a second time didn't seem nearly as scary as it did the first time around. 'As far as possible,' he said. 'And I suppose there is also much that we need to discuss.'

Hagrid gave a courteous nod in Dumbledore and Severus's direction, and went back inside his hut.

'We certainly do,' said Dumbledore. 'Are you ready?'

'I suppose,' Severus said while eyeing the tea towel that Dumbledore was holding in his hands.

Severus drew a deep breath when Dumbledore tied the towel around his eyes, and desperately tried to relax his hands that he had subconsciously balled into fists.

'Just follow me by the sound of my voice,' said Dumbledore, and took off into the forbidden forest with Severus following suit.

'How was your meeting with mister Belby in Edinburgh?'

'Fine,' said Severus stiffly. 'We actually came up with a plan to turn the potion into a non-profit.'

'I must say that I am very pleased to hear that,' said Dumbledore happily. 'Care to tell me how you plan on doing this?'

'I can't tell you all the details,' said Severus, 'but we plan on contacting all the licensed potioneers around to country and ask if they are willing to collaborate. As most of them are connected to the Ministry, the easiest way would be to present the recipe to the Ministry itself.'

'Are you not afraid that the ministry would want to turn it into a profitable potion?'

'That depends on who you present it to,' said Severus, unable to hide a smirk. 'There's someone there who has a particular bias against half-breeds. If she gets the recipe presented, we hope that she will throw a tantrum about it, and will thus unwillingly notify the whole wizzarding world about it.'

'You do understand Severus, that she is not the only one who may have a bias against half-breeds?'

'I'm well aware,' said Severus. 'There are bound to be more people against the idea of werewolves being able to integrate into society, but that doesn't stop werewolves from looking for an answer to their problems. What we really need is for potioneers to—what was that?'

An unfamiliar sound caught Severus by surprise and caused him to stand rooted to the ground.

'Are you frightened, Severus?' Dumbledore asked.

'A little bit,' said Severus, but the quiver in his voice betrayed otherwise. 'Can you see what's out there?'

'I can see what is out here,' said Dumbledore casually. 'What is so frightening to you about it?'

'The fact that I can't see, perhaps?' Severus sneered back. 'Could you just tell me what it is that's out there?'

'I think it would be better if you found out for yourself,' said Dumbledore. 'Just reach out with your hand.'

'How about I just reach out with my wand instead?' Severus said angrily.

'That would only scare the poor thing,' said Dumbledore. 'I can promise you that it will do you no harm.'

A puff of warm air reached Severus's face, causing him to nearly stagger backwards. 'Just tell me what it is, Albus,' he said sharply.

'You will know when you feel her.'

Her? Could it possibly be? Severus reached out and was immediately nudged in the shoulder by a large head. Instantly he remembered the last time that happened, which was on the day he had returned to Hogwarts after Christmas. He could feel the lines of the creature's bony face and mane as he gently ran his hand across it. 'It's a thestral,' he said with an air of relieve.

'It is,' said Dumbledore. 'The very same who had been following you around the first time we went into the woods.'

'So we were being followed,' Severus mumbled to himself. 'You're the same thestral from the carriage, aren't you?'

The thestral nudged him again as if to say that that was true. Severus wrapped his arms around her neck, feeling that warmth that radiated from her frail body.

'They are not half as terrifying if you cannot see them,' said Dumbledore.

'But I can see them,' said Severus. 'I have been able to for a while.'

'It must be a relief,' said Dumbledore, 'to be able to accept nor fear death.'

'It is,' said Severus. 'And I must say that I consider myself quite an expert on that matter, having been on the other side before.'

Dumbledore had to chuckle at Severus's remark. 'I must say, you do seem to have a gift with animals.'

'Lily told me the same thing,' said Severus. 'Animals don't care about the problems of our world. They just are.'

Severus felt the thestral release from his grip and tap her hoof on the ground.

'I think it is time for us to move on,' said Dumbledore.

Severus could hear the thestral leave by the fading sound of breaking twigs, and no longer felt comfortable standing alone on the forest soil.

Dumbledore started walking again, and Severus continued to follow the sound of his footsteps.

'Do you have any suggestions regarding the Chamber of Secrets Severus?' Dumbledore asked.

'There's nothing we can do until we find a way to open it,' said Severus. 'Until then, I suggest we be careful where we lay our eyes on.'

'Do you have any idea on how to protect the students?' Dumbledore asked with a sad tone. 'Many of them are not safe outside the castle's walls. For them to no longer be safe within them gravely worries me.'

'Can we stop walking for a moment,' said Severus, looking around into nothing to find out where Dumbledore's voice had come from. 'I just lost track of my steps.'

'I am standing right in front of you,' said Dumbledore. 'Please try to answer my question.'

'Like I said,' Severus said with a raised voice, 'there's nothing we can do until we find out what caused it. And I hate to break it to you, but if you had trusted me more, I probably would've known exactly what to do by now.'

'I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am,' said Dumbledore emotionally, 'for not having the faith in you that you deserve.'

'Sorry doesn't even begin to cover it,' Severus snapped back angrily. He felt sweat starting to form on the palms of his hands and a cold shiver to run down his spine. 'I would like to go back.'

'Then we shall go back,' Dumbledore assured him. 'Can you handle being blindfolded a little while longer?'

'I'll try,' Severus said with a quivering voice, and once again started following the sound of Dumbledore's footsteps. 'Are we far from the edge?'

'You will see when we get there,' said Dumbledore.

'Can you please just tell me how far we are from the edge?' said Severus, almost pleadingly this time.

'Hold on just a little while longer, Severus.'

Severus had nearly taken off the blindfold in a fit of panic when Dumbledore gently touched him by the shoulder. 'We're back,' he said softly.

Not needing to be told twice, Severus took of the blindfold and allowed his eyes to adjust to the low hanging sun.

'You did well,' said Dumbledore. 'You can be proud of yourself.'

'How you doin'? Hagrid asked as he saw Dumbledore and Severus return.

'Not as well as I wish,' said Severus with a hint of disappointment.

'You'll get the hang o' it,' said Hagrid. 'Care for some tea?'

'I would like some,' said Dumbledore, but Severus shook his head.

'I just want to go back to Lily,' he said. 'She's probably waiting for me.'

'Then tell 'er I said hi,' said Hagrid, 'and take it easy.'

'I will,' said Severus. 'Headmaster, can Lily join us next week? She asked if she could come along.'

'I suggest miss Evans comes along when you are better prepared,' Dumbledore answered with a smile. 'It is not that she is not welcome to join us, but I think it would be wise for you not to rely on her just yet.'

Severus nodded in understanding. 'Then I better head back to the castle. Goodnight headmaster, Hagrid.'

As always, Lily was already inside the lab, this time working on her Felix Felicis. 'Sometimes I wonder how professor Slughorn gets a hold of all these rare ingredients,' she said as she pulverized a silver Occamy eggshell into the potion.

'I'm pretty sure it's because of his enormous social circles,' said Severus. 'Occamy eggshells are very rare indeed.'

Severus sat down beside her and watched Lily as she worked on her potion with subtle care.

'How did it go?' Lily asked without taking her eyes of the potion.

'Better than last time,' said Severus, 'I met a thestral along the way.'

'You mean those creatures that you can see but can't tell me why?' Lily asked.

'Exactly those,' said Severus, hoping that Lily wouldn't get angry with him again. 'And Hagrid told me to say hello.'

'We should go visit him again one of these days,' said Lily. 'I used to spend a lot more time with him. All this fifth year work plus extra potion brewing has been holding me back too much.'

'Then we'll go visit him soon,' said Severus reasurringly. 'I asked Dumbledore if you can come with me for our next meeting.'

'And what did he have to say about that?'

'That it would better for you to come along when I'm more prepared.'

Lily was done adding Occamy shells to her potion and looked at Severus with a smile. 'Then I'll wait until you are ready,' she said as she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear.

Deep inside, Severus wished she never stopped touching him.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N On Harry Potter wiki, Occamy eggshells are listed among the few ingredients related to the Felix Felicis. We now know a little bit more about it since the two Fantastic Beasts movies came out.


	75. Boggarts are Frightening Creatures

Severus must've spent hours contemplating on what to write Erwin. In the end he decided to just follow Evan's advice, grow a pair, and be blunt about it. He had borrowed Leo from Lily to send the letter with the poor excuse of wanting to ask about their plans for the summer. Once he saw Leo fly off, he knew that there was no way back.

No more attacks or anything else suspicious happened during the rest of the week. Evan seemed to be growing livelier by the day, and Severus had caught him speaking with Vanity about more than just their usual quidditch related chit-chat. Either way, the worry surrounding Evan was growing less with each day.

Severus had been dreading this day. A while back Frank had managed to get his hands on a boggart from the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Frank had meant to teach the Young Order about how to defend themselves from boggarts the previous weekend when Severus and Remus were in Edinburgh, but due to the attack on the Ravenclaw girl he had not been able to teach. In other words, the boggart Severus had been hoping to avoid at all costs, was now waiting for him in a trunk inside the Room of Requirement.

'Where's Potter?' Severus asked Remus, who was standing beside him in the circle around the trunk.

'Not sure,' said Remus. 'Peter came though, so that's something.'

Pettigrew was standing nervously beside Lily on the opposite side. Neither Potter nor Black had shown up, and according to Lily they hadn't shown up the week before either. From Black, Severus could understand, but for Potter to stop showing up was a bit odd.

Severus felt sweat starting to form on the palms of his hands. He kept telling himself over and over again not to feel so fearful over something as ridiculous as a boggart. Boggarts were basically harmless. They could only show your fears as long as they are tangible. For many in this room it took on the shape of the Dark Lord, and there had been a time where his boggart had been too, but now he was not so sure of that anymore. Perhaps it wasn't so much that fact that he had fears like anyone else, but rather the fact that Lily was here to see it.

Severus looked at Remus, and noticed he wasn't the only one sweating it. 'Does everyone here know that your fear is the full moon Remus?' Severus whispered to him.

Remus shook his head. 'I managed to avoid having to take a turn last time,' he whispered back. 'I just hope no-one catches on when I do.'

'Evan,' Frank called out. 'Want to go first?'

Evan gave out a stiffled nod and walked up to the trunk. Frank opened the trunk, and immediately the boggart took on the shape of the Dark Lord.

'You remember the incantation, Evan?'

Evan held out his wand and pointed it to the boggart's chest. 'I got this,' he said with a determined look on his face. 'Riddikulus!' The boggart got a glazy look in his eyes and started doing the chicken dance, causing everyone in the room to howl with laughter.

'Alright next one up, Lily!'

Lily walked up to the boggart, and it transformed into Erwin lying dead on the ground…then Arnica…then it transformed into Petunia…then Severus..For a moment it seemed as if it was too much for her to handle, but then she raised up her wand with the same determination as Evan, yelled 'riddikulus!' and the boggart took the form of a bouncy ball flying across the room.

Lily walked up to Severus and flung her arms around his neck. 'I'm sorry you had to see that,' she said with a hint of embarrassment.

'I'll admit, it's a bit strange to see myself lying dead on the ground,' he said as he gave her a reassuring hug in return.

Lily's face was a tad red once she pulled away from Severus's embrace. 'Still, I wish you hadn't.'

Pettigrew was up next. His boggart, too, turned into the Dark Lord, and it took several tries before he managed to give the boggart a top hat, pipe and monocle.

Next up was Mary…then Alice…then Regulus…Eventually it was Remus's turn. As expected, the boggart turned into a glowing orb, and fortunately for Remus, hardly anyone seemed to catch on what it was as he quickly turned it into a rubber chicken.

'Severus, you're up,' said Frank.

Severus drew a deep breath and felt a reassuring pat on his shoulder from Lily. 'You can do this, Sev,' she whispered to him. As he faced the boggart in front of him, he drew his wand in a flash to get rid of whatever it was that was about to appear in front of him.

Slowly, the boggart transformed into a man. Slightly taller than himself, and older, with a hooked nose and dark eyes that were staring angrily at him. Severus could not believe what he was looking at. After all this time of facing monsters, deaths and the Dark Lord himself, his biggest fear was still his father.

The boggart was now slowly approaching him with balled fists, and instead of being able to think of anything funny for the incantation, Severus's mind froze and he took an involuntary step backwards.

'Get out!' the boggart yelled at him. 'GET OUT!'

Tears started to prickle in the corners of his eyes. Whether it was out of fear for the man before him, or the feeling of embarrassment that something as stupid as a shape shifter could bring his self-worth to his knees, he did not know.

'GET OUT!' the boggart yelled suddenly again, causing not only Severus, but nearly everyone else in the room to jump.

'I can't,' Severus whispered to himself. He felt a tear fall, and it was his cue to toss his wand aside and run out of the Room of Requirement as fast as he could.

His first thought was to lock himself up inside the lab, but his legs carried towards the grounds instead.

He was done running by the time he reached the edge of the forbidden forest. A small voice inside his head was tempting him to just run into the woods and disappear for a while.

'Everything alrigh', Severus?' It was Hagrid who came walking out of the woods.

Severus shook his head. 'My mind is slowly driving me insane,' he said weakly.

'Care for some tea?'

'I could use some,' he said, just realizing he had run outside without a cloak on.

He was about to step inside Hagrid's hut when he heard a voice calling for him in the distance. 'Sev!' Lily yelled. 'Thank goodness there you are.'

Lily was all out of breath when she stopped running. 'I thought you went to the lab at first,' she said. 'This was the second place I figured you'd go to.'

Severus looked away after he saw the concern in her eyes.

'I brought you your wand,' she said in an attempt to start a conversation. 'Can I please join you so we can talk about this?'

Severus nodded, still not wanting to look her in the eye.

Hagrid had already put the kettle on when Severus and Lily took a seat on the couch.

Severus was leaning his elbows on his knees and looked down at the floor. Lily was running her fingers gently across his back, and after a while he gave in to the feeling and leaned up against her.

'Mind if I ask what happened?' said Hagrid as he poured everyone some tea.

'A boggart,' said Severus weakly.

'A bit too much to handle, I see,' said Hagrid. 'Happens to the best of us.'

'I just dont understand why I''m still afraid of this,' Severus said with an irritated tone. 'It shouldn't be bothering me anymore.'

'Severus,' said Hagird as he slammed his bucket sized cup down, 'the horrible thing 'bout boggarts is that they will always remind you of your deepest fears, for that is the very purpose of their existence. There's no shame in that.'

Severus didn't answer him. He closed his eyes and leaned in a little closer to Lily, feeling calm as she held him.

'There must be a lot of boggarts out in the forest,' Lily said to Hagrid. 'Do you see them from time to time?'

Hagrid let out a shudder. 'All the time,' he said. 'Usually take on the form of people I care about an' shows them dead. Not a pleasant thing to trip o'er dead bodies of loved ones in the middle o' the night.'

'The same thing happens to me,' said Lily. 'I see all my relatives dead, and Sev here too.' She ran her fingers through his hair. 'But then again, Sev is practically family.'

'And what did you see, Severus?' Hagrid asked. 'Maybe it helps if ye talk about it.'

'I saw my father,' said Severus, and immediately felt a lump starting to form in his throat. 'He's not a very nice man.'

'I know,' said Hagrid. 'I think we all know what happened to you. Please drink some tea, it'll make ye feel better.'

Drinking tea did make him feel better. Once he felt he had calmed down enough, he and Lily walked their way back to the castle and headed for the lab.

'You're awfully quiet,' said Severus as they made their way into the dungeons.

Lily didnt say anything until they sat down on Severus's bed. 'Are you sure you're feeling okay Severus?'

Severus knew something wasn't right since Lily used his full name. 'I'm feeling a lot better now. Is something wrong?'

'I'm not sure if there is,' she said, rather sharply. 'Did you take a good look at your boggart when it appeared?'

'Lily where are you going with this?' Severus asked irritably. 'Having to face my own father for everyone to see is embarrassing enough as it is. The last thing I need is for it to be questioned.'

'There's no need to be so snappy at me,' said Lily, slightly raising her voice. 'And I would appreciate it if you could answer my question. There's something going on that isn't quite right.'

'Then just tell me what that is.' Severus snapped back angrily. 'What is it that makes my boggart so damn special?'

Lily had stood up from the bed and looked Severus straight in the eye. 'I got a feeling you and I did not see the same thing standing there,' she cried.

'Then what is it you saw? 'I don't understand why you're suddenly angry with me.'

'That boggart,' Lily said with a sneer, 'was _not_ your father, Severus.'

'Then what was it according to you!' he yelledback, no longer able to contain himself.

'That was not your father Severus!' said Lily. 'That boggart was you! You may look a lot after your father, but I'm pretty sure I can tell the damn difference between him and my friend, even when you look like an older man!'

'I DO NOT LOOK AFTER MY FATHER!'

'YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!' Lily yelled back. With a twirl of her cloak Lily had turned around and headed straight for the door.

Shit. Severus quickly jumped up and blocked the door.

'Get out of my way!' Lily cried. Tears were streaming down her face.

'I won't let you,' Severus said in a fit of panic. 'Please don't go.'

' _Won't let me_?' Lily repeated with fire in her eyes.

'No!' said Severus. 'No, that's not what I meant, but please, _please_ Lily don't leave.' Tears were now too streaming down his face too. 'I just don't understand why you're so upset.'

Lily seemed to contemplate pushing him out of the way, but instead she contained herself by drawing a deep breath and wipes away her own tears.

'Sev,' Lily answered with a timid voice, 'how can a boggart know what you look like in the future?'

'I don't know,' he responded, his voice laced with emotion. 'I don't know why I am afraid of myself, when I always thought that my biggest fear was losing you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N According to the Harry Potter wiki Severus's boggart is Voldemort, but I believe that after being killed and no longer fearing death, his boggart would no longer show the same thing.


	76. On Trust and Fears

Severus and Lily both sat against the door of the lab, Lily with her arms tightly wrapped around him, unable to speak to each other. Severus understood that Lily's distress was justified. It was yet another thing that she didn't know nor understood from his life, and to make matters worse, something he did not feel like sharing with her for quite some time.

'I'm sorry,' he eventually managed to whisper to her. 'I didn't mean to hold you back.'

Lily only squeezed herself tighter against him. 'I'm sorry too, Sev,' she whispered back. She was no longer crying, but her voice was still raw with emotion. 'And I didn't mean to be angry with you.'

Lily pulled away from Severus and looked him in the eye. 'Is it the fear of turning into your father?' she asked. 'Is that what this is all about?'

Severus gave out a stifled nod. 'Sometimes I see myself doing things…or saying things…and it feels as if I'm slowly turning into him.'

With her thumb, Lily wiped away a stray tear of his cheek. 'Sev, you do look a little bit like your father—no listen,' she said quickly as Severus tried to pull away from her. 'You do. You have his features. You have his nose, and his eyes and his hair and you're even somewhat built the same way, but do you remember who else in your family looked just like that?'

Severus closed his eyes to think, and a faint smile appeared on his lips. 'Grandma Singh,' he said softly. 'I haven't thought about her in a long time.'

'I only had to pleasure to meet her a couple times before she died,' Lily said as she played with his hair. 'But she taught me a few things in British sign language, and I remember her story on how she had come from India to England because she got a job at the Royal Association for Deaf People in London, and how she met grandpa Snape there…But what I'm trying to say is, Sev, is that it is not just your father you look after; it is your grandma too. And you must remember just how lovely she was.'

'She liked playing with your hair,' said Severus, taking one of Lily's curls between two fingers. 'I remember that.'

'Just like you do,' Lily answered with a smile. 'Just try to remember that every time you see your father in you, there's also your grandma smiling at you.'

'I'll try,' said Severus as he watched Lily's curls bounce as he released them. 'She really was a lovely lady.'

'Are you feeling a bit better?'

'Much better,' said Severus. 'Maybe we should sit on the bed instead of this cold floor.'

Feeling stiff in the joints Severus and Lily stood up and sat down on the edge of the bed. 'Thank you for staying with me,' he said.

'I have to admit, it's a bit scary to see you panic like that,' said Lily as she pulled on the edges of her sleeves.

'This is why I didn't want you to see it,' said Severus. 'Is there anything I can do for you? You still seem a bit upset about it.'

'Typically you,' Lily said with a grin. 'You're the one collapsing on the floor and yet you're asking me if I'm okay.'

'Because I want you to be okay,' said Severus. 'I want things between us to be okay.'

Lily reached out to Severus and gently squeezed his hand. 'We are okay, Sev. We are.'

…

With the day's passing, February turned into March. As if nature answered to the near Spring's calling, the last bits of remaining snow had melted, and here and there patches of green had started to appear.

Severus had promised Lily to keep her updated as she headed for the library with Frank to do homework, and found himself once again standing beside Hagrid's hut, but neither Hagrid nor Dumbledore were there yet. Things seemed to be better again between him and Lily after yesterday's event. Still, he had hoped that Lily could've been spared from his panic attacks. The last thing he wanted was for her to worry even more about his wellbeing than she normally did.

'Good afternoon, Severus,' Dumbledore said from behind him.

'Good afternoon headmaster,' Severus responded.

'You seem a little lost in thought,' said Dumbledore after quick observation. 'Care to tell me what goes on inside of you?'

Severus took the tea towel from Dumbledore's hands and covered his own eyes with it.

'I had a quarrel with Lily yesterday,' he said as he followed Dumbledore's footsteps into the woods.

'And how did that happen?'

'I assume you are aware that there's a group of students preparing themselves to join the Order of the Phoenix?'

'I am aware,' said Dumbledore, 'and I must add that I found your choice on using the Room of Requirement to be an excellent one.'

'It is a good place for practice,' said Severus. 'Yesterday however, Frank Longbottom got his hands on a boggart for us to practice on and it transformed into something that I did not expect.'

'And what was it that it transformed into for you?'

'I was expecting the Dark Lord,' said Severus. 'That's what it used to be; and then I thought it would be Lily lying dead on the ground and—we're being followed again, aren't we?'

'We are,' said Dumbledore casually. 'Just allow it to happen.'

'Alright, well—I was expecting to see Lily, but then the boggart transformed into a man yelling at me. I thought it was my father.'

'And it turned out to be someone else, if I hear correctly?'

'It was me,' said Severus. 'The same way I would look a few decades from now…and how I used to be.'

'Correct me if I am wrong,' said Dumbledore, 'but if I understand correctly, your biggest fear is to turn into your father?'

'I have already walked that path, 'said Severus. 'And I don't intend on ever walking it again.'

'You said your other fear was to see Lily dead,' said Dumbledore. 'Care to tell me more about that?'

'I see it in my dreams sometimes,' said Severus, his voice growing weaker. 'I know she's more than capable of looking after herself, but I still can't help but feel protective of her.'

'And why do you feel the need to protect her, Severus?'

'For a lot of different reasons; her being muggle born is one thing, and she's—we're being followed and I know it's not a thestral,' he said sharply. 'That is not the sound of hooves behind me. I know something else is here.'

'If it were dangerous, Severus,' said Dumbledore calmly, 'it would have attacked us a long time ago.'

'I was hoping it would be the thestral,' Severus muttered. 'I don't need to see it but could you just tell me what it is?'

'I thought that you should know by now that I am not going to tell you what is out there,' said Dumbledore. 'So why don't you try to find out for yourself?'

'If you think I'm just going to stick out my hand you are mistaken,' Severus sneered. 'What is out there?'

'I will not tell you what is out there, until you answer my questions, Severus,' Dumbledore stated.

'I hate it when you do this,' said Severus as he balled his fists.

Dumbledore ignored Severus's remark. 'What is the main reason why you feel the need to protect miss Evans, Severus?'

'Because I love her,' said Severus, shocking himself at how easily the words had fallen out of his mouth. 'Losing her was the worst feeling that I have ever felt. I'm afraid to lose her—'

Severus felt tears prickling in his eyes. 'I can't imagine a life without her. Not again.'

'Have you ever told her all this?' Dumbledore asked with a tone of concern.

'No,' he said. 'Don't you understand? I don't want to _need_ her. I don't want to burden her with the fact that she's the only reason I am alive today.'

'And what makes you think she is unable carry that burden?'

'You're asking a lot of personal questions, Albus,' said Severus bitterly. 'To depend your life on someone else is an awful thing to do.'

'Then tell me, Severus, what would happen to you if miss Evans was taken out of the equation?'

'I honestly don't know,' Severus admitted. 'I don't want to need her, but right now I know that I need her more than anything.'

If it wasn't for the blindfold, tears would've started to flow down his face.

'I just need her in my life,' Severus added. 'I don't even care in what way, as long as she's around.'

'So what it comes down to,' said Dumbledore, 'is that you feel the need to protect her; but what you truly desire, is for her to protect you.'

Severus stopped walking right after Dumbledore said those words. 'I never thought of it that way,' he said. 'But still, I don't—I don't want to burden her with these things.'

'You are perfectly comfortable protecting her,' Dumbledore said with a trace of a smile, 'and yet you can't bare the fact that she could do the same for you.'

'I will never underestimate her strength,' said Severus. 'I just don't want to be a burden on her.'

'Then I have one final question to ask you before I leave,' said Dumbledore. 'Do you trust miss Evans?'

'I trust her with my life,' said Severus confidently. 'Wait—you said you were leaving?'

Out of nowhere, the sound of Dumbledore's steps and billowing cloak had vanished. Before he was able to take off the towel, two hands grabbed him gently but firmly by the shoulders.

His first instinct was to draw his wand and blast a curse, but he could recognize that musky scent anywhere.

'Have you heard everything Dumbledore and I talked about?' Severus asked carefully as he felt Lily's gentle breath on his face.

'I have,' she said, and raised her hands to untie the towel.

'You followed us,' said Severus, trying to look at her face through his blurry vision.

'From the very beginning,' Lily confirmed. 'And for what it's worth, Sev,' she said as she placed her hand on his cheek, 'I love you too.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Did I just make Severus (partially) Indian? Yes. Yes I did.  
> A/N The name "Singh" is derived from Sanskrit, and means "lion". A title originally used by warriors in India and was later on adopted through castes and communities, including the Sikhs. I didn't choose the name because it's common (like Patel), but because of its meaning. Throughout the original story it's a bit of a theme where Severus shows his "Gryffindor" qualities ("sometimes I think we sort too soon".) So for my story, the Gryffindor in him is his grandma, but for what it's worth, he's a Slytherin through and through.  
> A/N Why does Lily have a musky scent? Because it comes from musk (aromatic base note in expensive perfumes and such) and musk come from musk deer. Also, in India it's been known as a medicinal substance for centuries, including mental health.


	77. Into the Lion's Den

'Why exactly is it that you think you lost me before?' asked Lily.

Severus and Lily had made their way back to the castle in silence, and instead of heading to the lab like they normally would, they sat down at the vacant Gryffindor table to eat some of the leftovers.

'I was convinced you and I were done with last summer,' said Severus.

Though entirely unintentional, the fact that Lily now knew what she meant to him felt as if a heavy burden was lifted off his shoulders. He had never been able to tell her that he loved her before. Not that he was aware that he had told her, being blindfolded and all, but at least her importance to him was no longer a secret.

'We were growing apart,' said Lily as she picked at a slice of pie. 'But I wouldn't go as far as saying we were done with.'

'I just thought we were,' said Severus with a shrug. His appetite had returned with the rise of his good mood, and didn't hesitate to pile up his plate with whatever leftovers he could find.

'Do you really consider yourself a burden, Sev?' Lily asked with a curious look on her face.

'Sometimes,' Severus admitted, 'I just don't want to be a burden to anyone, especially you.'

Lily put her fork down and looked him in the eye. 'I know you're not going to accept this from me,' she said, 'but you're not a burden, Sev.'

'The thing is, Lily,' said Severus as he swallowed a mouthful of food, 'I have to live with the fact that I come with a lot of internal conflicts, many of them which are heavy to carry, and that is something that I don't wish to impose on you.'

'Who ever said that I would have to deal with your internal conflicts on my own?' she asked. 'What makes you think that I'm the only one who knows what goes on inside of you?'

Severus looked at her sheepishly. 'Care to explain?'

Lily flicked a pea in his direction. 'Are you that daft, Severus Snape?' she said with a raised eyebrow. 'I'm not the only one that loves you. Mum loves you. Dad loves you. Hell, even Tuney loves you in her own twisted way…everyone from the Young Order loves you; or at least likes you, just for who you are, and that includes the baggage that you carry with you.'

Severus felt his face grow red. 'I—I hadn't thought of that.'

'Of course you didn't,' said Lily, now with her hands on her hips. 'I even failed to mention professor Slughorn, who has known you since birth I might add; and Dumbledore, who is willing to devote some of his precious time to you every single week because he believes in you. What I'm trying to say is, you are loved, Sev. You are loved by so many, and instead of looking into what is still clad in darkness within you all the time, try looking at what is lighting up your life.'

A rare wide smile appeared on Severus's face. 'You're right. You are absolutely right.'

Lily was about to reach out to him, when McGonagall's voice started booming through the hallways. ' _All students must return to their common rooms immediately! I repeat, all students must return to their common rooms immediately!_ '

Lily's eyes grew wide in shock. 'You think there's been another attack?' she squeaked.

'Probably,' said Severus. 'Slughorn knows I'm not staying in the Slytherin dorms. Mind if I come with you?'

Lily nodded and quickly ran up the staircases with Severus following closely behind her.

'I don't understand what's going on,' said Lily with panic in her voice.

'Maybe a teacher will come up and talk to us,' said Severus in an attempt to reassure her. In the past, it had been him who had to speak to all the Slytherin students about what was going on when one student after the other was found petrified.

Severus's prediction turned out to be true, because not only did the entire Gryffindor house pack the common room, professor McGonagall was also attempting to create order.

'Your suspicions are true, there has been another attack tonight,' McGonagall yelled over a muttering crowd.

Immediately the chatty Gryffindors stopped talking.

'A Hufflepuff boy has been found petrified near his own common room a moment ago,' McGonagall continued in all seriousness. 'Along with a new message on the wall.'

'What does it say?' Severus called out. All heads in the room turned to him, only just realizing that a Slytherin was standing inside the Gryffindor common room.

McGonagall sat down on the chair's arm and took off her glasses. 'That the Chamber of Secrets has been opened,' she said through pursed lips.

'I'm sorry, professor,' said Potter from across the room, 'but what exactly is the Chamber of Secrets?'

'Well Potter, that—'

'It has something to do with Slytherin,' Severus interrupted.

Lily shot Severus a questionable look. 'Sev, didn't you tell me you had a theory about all this a while back?'

'I did,' said Severus. 'Professor, if I may?'

McGonagall put her glasses back on and pointed Severus to take her spot.

'Why are you even here, Snape?' Potter scowled at him. 'You're not supposed to be here.'

'Here's a small lesson in mannerism for you, Potter,' Severus sneered back. 'If in case you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position of a threat or attack while in the presence of a lady, you make sure you deflate that thick egocentric head of yours and bring her to safety before saving yourself. _Understood_?'

Several people in the room snickered at Severus's comment, including McGonagall, and Potter shuffled a little further behind Black with a sour frown on his face.

'Before I start I want to ask all of you a question that I need you to answer truthfully,' Severus said towards the group. 'How many of you actually pay attention in Professor Binn's class?'

Everyone looked around the room to see if there were hands sticking up, but none came.

'So it is true,' Severus said with a hint of disappointment. 'Lions really do prefer to sleep all day.'

'We're not all bad,' Remus called out from across the room.

'Is that so, mister Lupin? Severus asked with a grin. 'Then please do share with us what caused a major feud between the four founders of Hogwarts.'

'Salazar Slytherin only wanted to accept pureblood students opposed to the other three founders,' said Remus.

'Very well,' said Severus, 'and what happened when the feud between them could not be solved?'

'Slytherin left the castle for good,' Remus added. 'But how exactly does that relate to the attacks?'

'I will get to that now,' said Severus. 'You see, there is a legend that says that when Slytherin left the castle, he left something behind; a secret chamber. A secret chamber that contains a monster to be more specific. A chamber that could only be opened by the _heir_ of Slytherin.'

'So you're saying that that's what the "enemies of the heir beware" thing is referring to?' asked Remus.

'I think that that's exactly what it's referring to,' said Severus. 'Professor, was the Hufflepuff student a muggle born by any chance?'

McGonagall looked up at Severus with a sad look in her eyes. 'He is,' she said darkly, 'and so is the Ravenclaw girl who got attacked earlier.'

Several students let out a gasp. 'So you're saying that there's a monster going after muggle born students?' Pettigrew squeaked.

'I'm glad to see someone's catching on,' said Severus. 'And yes, Slytherin always had the desire the cleanse the castle from muggle born students, and so he left something behind to do the job for him.'

'What kind of monster could that possibly be?' Black asked with an astonished look on his face.

'Second question that I need everyone to answer truthfully,' Severus said to the group. 'How many of you have bothered to read Scamander's Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them back to front?'

Only half a dozen hands, including Lily's, were now up in the air.

'How disappointing,' said Severus, mumbling to himself how glad he was that he had not been sorted into a house full of airheads. 'Can anyone tell me a bit more about Basilisks?'

'I can,' said Lily. 'The basilisk is known as the King of Serpents as it can reach up to fifty feet in length and live to a great age. Not only is the snake venomous but it can also kill with a single gaze of its eyes.'

'Well cited,' said Severus, 'do you also know what creatures fear Basilisks most of all?'

'Spiders,' said Lily. 'And now that I think of it, I haven't seen any spiders around lately.'

Severus nodded along with her words. 'Opposed to that, Basilisks are afraid of roosters, as their cry is fatal to them, and if I recall correctly, Hagrid's roosters have been killed not too long ago.'

Panic was certainly growing prominent in the room now. 'But if the Basilisks glare is fatal to anyone who sees it,' said Potter, 'how come only these two students were petrified?'

Severus looked over at McGonagall. 'Do you know if those students were carrying something with them that was reflective in any way, professor?'

McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose in order to think. 'The Ravenclaw girl was found with a mirror,' she said, 'but the boy…there was water on the floor. The house-elves had just been cleaning there if I recall correctly.'

'So neither one of them has seen the Basilisk's eyes directly,' said Severus. 'Causing them to be petrified instead.'

McGonagall was shaking her head in frustration. 'Mister Snape, does headmaster Dumbledore know anything about this?'

'I don't think he does,' Severus lied. 'But as I said before, all of this is just a theory. I don't know where this chamber might be nor do I know how to open it.'

'Very well,' said McGonagall. 'I will need to speak with Dumbledore about this. I need everyone to go to their dormitories. Mister Snape, I need you to stay here for the night—no I don't want you to go wandering around the school,' she said quickly as Severus was about to protest. 'Conjure a blanket and use the sofa if you must. I'd rather be safe than sorry.'

With that, McGonagall crawled through the portrait hole and disappeared from sight.

Everyone did as they were told and prepared themselves for an early night up in their dormitories.

'Holy shit Snape,' said Black. 'How come you know all of this stuff?'

'When I go to school Black,' said Severus dryly as he conjured a blanket for himself, 'I intend to learn something rather than sleep through my expensive education.'

'Fair enough,' said Black.

'How come you and Potter weren't at the Young Order meeting?' Severus asked with a tone of disappointment.

Black looked over his shoulder as if to make sure Potter was no longer there. 'James thinks he already got it down,' said Black. 'He still plans on joining the Order of the Phoenix though.'

'Tell me, Black,' said Severus stiffly, 'can Potter perform a full corporeal patronus?'

'What's a patronus?'

'I'll take that as a no. As I've told him before, he needs to get his thick head deflated and realise that there are things out there in this world much bigger than his own ego. So do me a favour, Black, come to the next meeting, and I'm sure Potter will follow you like the loyal lion he is.'

'I'll try,' said Black. 'I uhm—I better go to my dormitory.'

'You either will or you won't,' Severus stated. 'There is no room for trying when you're out in the real world facing a war. So I suggest you either show up, or you don't come at all.'

'Got it,' said Black with a hint of shame. 'I—I better go.'

Once Black went up the staircase that led to his dormitory, only Lily, Alice and Mary were left. Alice and Mary too, headed for the other staircase that led to their dormitory, and waved at Severus as they left the common room.

'I figured you'd stay behind,' said Severus.

Lily sat down on the sofa Severus had to sleep on, and he threw the blanket he had conjured over her shoulders.

'I'm sorry if I scared you with all this information,' said Severus. 'I suppose it doesn't make you feel any safer knowing that what's out there might be after muggle-borns.'

'It is a scary thought,' said Lily, 'but what I don't understand is how a snake could possibly know which students are muggle born and which ones aren't.'

'It doesn't,' said Severus. 'What I failed to mention is that only those who can speak Parseltongue are able to control snakes. And do you know who the most famous Parseltongue of his time was?'

'Slytherin himself,' said Lily. 'But how could he? I mean, he's not alive I assume.'

'I highly doubt that,' said Severus. 'And that's where the mystery begins.'

Severus knew better of course, but to tell Lily that he knew that the Dark Lord was a descendant of Slytherin himself and thus a Parseltongue would give away too much.

'Can I stay with you?' Lily asked with a shiver. 'I prefer not to be alone tonight.'

'Of course you can stay,' said Severus as he wrapped the blanket a bit tighter around her. 'I prefer not to be alone either.'


	78. Some Fatherly Advice

The next morning, Severus was woken up by a pecking sound at the window. It took him a moment to orientate, trying to remember why exactly he had fallen asleep inside the Gryffindor common room. The moment he looked down however, he couldn't help but smile. Lily's hair was draped over a pillow that she had placed on his legs, and was breathing softly, still soundly asleep.

Leo had noticed that Severus had woken up and was growing impatient. As carefully as he could he lifted Lily's head up and laid her down to rest on the sofa. Fortunately, she hadn't woken up.

As soon as Severus opened the window, Leo dove inside and landed on his shoulder, proudly presenting the letter Erwin had written for him. As soon as Severus held the letter in his hands, Leo flew straight up to Lily and nuzzled up in her hair, ready to take a nap.

Severus sat down in the chair beside the sofa, and held up the rather thick letter Erwin had written him. Despite knowing that Erwin would not object to him asking Lily out on a date, he couldn't help but feel a little nervous as to what Erwin had to say about it.

Carefully, he broke the seal and unrolled the letter. It seemed as if Erwin had had some practice using a quill, as the words were much less illegible than before.

_Dear Severus,_

_I'm sure the first thing you would like to know is whether Arnica and I are okay with you taking Lily out on a date. To be fair, neither Arnica nor I understand why you even bothered to ask. You're already family, and now I can also officially say that I have won a long standing bet with Arnica on when the two of you would start to form more than a friendship. (Arnica thought it wasn't going to happen until after your graduation. Also, do me a favour and please don't tell Lily about this. If she finds out I will not hear the end of it.)_

_For formalities sake, Arnica (and by extension, me as well) would like to point out to you that you respect Lily's boundaries, and that no funny business happens between the two of you for as long as you live under our roof._

Severus couldn't help but snicker at the last line, but it did make him realise something. If by some miracle him and Lily did form a couple, then undoubtedly intimacy was going to be involved. Not that he never thought about being intimate with Lily before, but for the first time he was looking at it as a possibility, rather than a fantasy.

_On a more serious note, Arnica knows about the time I have been spending at the Weasleys. After a quarrel or two she agreed to come and meet them, but for now both Molly and Arthur know better than to mention anything about the war when she's around. As I have mentioned before, Arnica will inevitably find out about it sooner or later, and I don't think I can hide all this from her much longer._

Severus figured that Arnica was bound to find out soon. He hoped that she wouldn't find out until at least at the end of the school year. That way both him and Lily could have an entire summer to convince her that being at Hogwarts is in fact a safer place to be than at home.

_I am aware that a while back there has been an attack in Cokeworth related to you-know-who's followers. (Petunia is still talking about the Northern lights she saw that night.) After seeing the same man walking around near our house from time to time, I got curious, and found out a man named Alastor Moody has been keeping an eye on us. He informed me that it had been you and Lily that had requested to have someone to keep an eye out on us, and that he works for the Order of the Phoenix as well. This is something that neither Arnica nor Petunia are aware of either._

Good. Of all the people Dumbledore could've picked to keep a watchful eye on the Evanses, he had picked what had to be the most skilled Auror the Ministry had to offer.

_Some information related to my research on Lucius Malfoy; nothing. The record is as a blank sheet of paper. In fact, there are no records whatsoever on anyone named Malfoy in the Muggle world, which is peculiar on its own. However, I did find more information regarding Bellatrix Black. The Black family has a history of marrying some Muggles…but mostly their own family members. The fact that they married with Muggles however, made it easier to trace. The family has got a history with a lot of crime related things throughout the years. Many of those things are registered as unclear on how they happened, meaning that magic had to have been involved somehow. That being said, Arthur informed me that the Blacks are avid supporters of you-know-who's cause, but I suppose these are all things that you are already aware of._

Severus was aware of all of those things about the Blacks. He was more interested as to why Malfoy on the other hand could not be traced.

_Moving on to a more personal matter; your father. The Magical Law Department has been unable to find any evidence related to magic having been involved in the crime, and thus the Muggle authorities will keep him held accountable for the crime while under the influence of alcohol. In other words, he shall remain in prison for life regarding the murder of your mother. The prospect of finding out how and why however, are growing pretty slim. This brings me to a question that I wanted to ask you. Is the investigation regarding your father something that you wish to continue, or would you rather have the case to be closed so you can move on? The choice is yours._

It was a good question. The issues related to his father were something that he had preferred to keep pushed back as far as possible into his mind. It would perhaps be better if the investigation was closed as it was leading nowhere, but on the other hand, he still had the desire the know whether a third party had been involved or not. If there had been, it meant that something was out there to get him.

_I don't want to finish this letter to you with a difficult topic, so there's something that I wanted to share with you and Lily that I think both of you will enjoy.  
Since Petunia is really devoting her time again to her art (I still need to thank you properly for that), we have decided that we are going on holiday to Amsterdam near the end of the summer before she goes off to university. Of course, that includes the two of you. _

_Have a good end of term, and do me a favour by kick Lily's arse from time to time so she will study. You and I both know how sloppy she can be._

_Lots of love to you both, and please do keep me updated._

_Dad._

A stifled yawn came from the couch after Severus finished the letter. 'What you got there, Sev?' Lily asked softly as she wiped her hair out of her face.

'It's Erwin's response to the letter I wrote earlier to him,' said Severus. 'Did you sleep well?'

'Better than I have in a while,' she said as she sat straight up, causing Leo to rise in a sudden uproar. 'Sorry Leo, can I see what dad wrote?'

'Ehm,' Severus muttered as he ran his hand through his hair. 'Actually, no.'

Lily shot him a curious look. 'Are you two keeping secrets from me?'

'Yes,' said Severus hastily. 'I asked Erwin for some fatherly advice. It's personal.'

Lily smiled at him. 'That's a lot of fatherly advice you're holding there.'

'That's not all he talked about,' said Severus. 'To summarize it, Arnica knows that Erwin has been spending a lot of time at the Weasleys, but doesn't know about the war as of yet. There has been no interesting information found regarding Lucius Malfoy or Bellatrix Black, and Erwin also asked whether I want to end the investigation regarding my father as the research is leading nowhere.'

'Furthermore,' Severus continued before Lily could answer, 'do you remember the Auror we spoke with after the attack in Hogsmeade?'

'The man or the lady?'

'The man,' said Severus, 'because he's the one who's keeping an eye out on your home in Cokeworth.'

' _Our_ home, Sev,' Lily corrected him. 'Anything else newsworthy?'

Severus was about to tell her about the plans for Amsterdam when a messy haired Potter came walking down the stairs.

'Still here I see,' Potter stated as he flung himself on the sofa beside Lily, and started petting an annoyed looking Leo. 'Shouldn't you be going back to your own common room, Snape?'

'Have you heard a voice echoing through the castle that students are allowed to leave the common rooms they are in, Potter?' Severus snapped back. 'No—exactly. So you will have to put up with me until we are all allowed to leave.'

Potter turned away from Severus as if he was made out of air. 'And how have you been doing, Evans?' he asked with a sweet voice.

'Much better now that I got to spend the night with Severus,' Lily answered in an evenly sweet voice.

Potter looked at Lily in disgust, and Severus had to hide his face with Erwin's letter to keep himself from laughing.

'I hope for you McGonagall doesn't find out about this,' said Potter. 'I highly doubt she'll appreciate students sleeping together.'

'Won't be the first time I've seen girls disappearing into the boys dormitories,' Lily said with an air of boredom. 'So I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed to do the same.'

The more Severus saw Potter interact with Lily, the more he was convinced Potter must have used some form of love potion to get Lily to like him. How she had ever fallen for him may just be a bigger mystery than the Chamber of Secrets itself.

'Okay,' said Potter while raising his voice, 'can I just ask the both of you what it is that you see in each other? Like, what attracts you when you're clearly polar opposites?'

'To the contrary Potter,' said Severus, 'Lily and I are very much alike. We share a childhood, specific talents, a proper taste in music and even a family, just to name a few.'

'I thought incest was illegal,' Potter said with a frown.

'I wouldn't say that too loudly with Black nearby,' said Severus as he eyed the staircase.

This time it was Lily's turn to hide her face from laughter. 'James, Sev and I are not a couple.'

'You're as good as,' said Potter with a frown. 'Either way, the last thing I want is to go on a date with you knowing that he'll be breathing down my neck the entire time.'

'You got that right,' Severus said with a twisted grin. 'But don't worry, Potter, I'm pretty sure you're the last person she wants to go out with.'

'And I'm pretty sure Lily can decide whether she wants to or not herself,' Potter said sourly.

'And I'm pretty sure you are the last person I want to go out with,' Lily said with a smirk. 'Sev's right you know.'

'Then tell me Evans,' said Potter, 'what can I do to get you to go out with me?'

Severus could only roll his eyes at the despicable display that was happening in front of him. He was about to say something when Lily already stepped up.

'With that attitude I'd rather go out with Peter than you,' she said as she folded her arms.

Potter ran his hands through his hair, making it even messier than before. 'Maybe someday,' he said in defeat. 'Someday you may see that I'm not so bad as you think I am.'

'How about I take you on a date, Lily?' Severus asked. The words had come out before he even realised he had said them, and felt his heartrate increase.

'And what would we do if we did?' Lily asked with a sparkle in her eye.

'How about I take you to Amsterdam this summer,' he said in order to save himself.

'Amsterdam?' she said with a tone of surprise. 'Why Amsterdam of all places?'

'If you don't mind Petunia and your parents tagging along,' Severus answered with a smile.

'Oh now I get it! Did dad say in his letter that we're going to Amsterdam on holiday this summer?'

'He did,' said Severus. 'I meant to tell you until Potter decided to intrude.'

'I'm not intruding,' said Potter, but before he was able to defend himself, McGonagall came crawling through the portrait hole.

'Miss Evans and mister potter,' said McGonagall, 'could you both please wake up the rest of the Gryffindors. Classes are about to start again.'

'Yes, professor,' said Potter, and he got up from the couch and headed straight for the boys dormitories.

'I'll go wake up the girls,' said Lily. 'I'll see you later, Sev.'

With a wave Lily ran up the staircase, leaving Severus alone with McGonagall. 'I'm taking you to Dumbledore mister Snape,' she said. 'I hope you understand why.'

Severus nodded in understanding. 'I do,' he said. 'Come with me Leo.'

Leo fluttered onto his shoulder and hid himself under Severus's hair. 'I know where to find his office, professor,' said Severus. 'I shall go there myself.'

As Severus crawled through the portrait hole, he couldn't help but think of how Lily had looked at him when he had asked her on a date. She hadn't questioned why he had, only what they would do if they did.

As he walked up to Dumbledore's office, all he could do was curse at himself that he had even bothered to talk his way out of it. He could've gone on a date with her, and she would've accepted it. In Potter's presence nonetheless! But still, she hadn't said 'no' either, and once Severus was walking up the spiral staircase, it felt as he was walking on a cloud.


	79. New Rules Must be Applied

'Lovely owl you got there, Severus,' said Dumbledore as Leo flew up to Fawkes, and observed the phoenix with curious eyes.

'Thank you,' said Severus. 'I gave Leo to Lily as a gift though.'

'Owls do make wonderful gifts,' said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye. 'How are things between you and miss Evans?'

'Is it that obvious?' Severus asked, unable to hide the grin that was etched upon his face.

'I can always tell when someone is in love,' said Dumbledore. 'It is one of the most beautiful sights to behold, if I may say so myself.'

Severus sat down in the chair in front of Dumbledore and helped himself to some tea that Dumbledore had already prepared.

'Did Lily speak with you, about following us into the woods I mean?'

'She did, 'Dumbledore confirmed. 'Hence why I only asked you questions related to her.'

'I'm glad she didn't catch on with everything I said,' said Severus as he cradled the cup of tea in his hands. 'I exposed a lot more than I thought I was able to when I couldn't see her.'

'Do you feel better, now that your fears were spoken out loud?'

'Like a weight that was lifted off my shoulders,' Severus admitted. 'I told her something that I never thought I would be able to say, in neither lifetimes.'

'Severus,' said Dumbledore in a serious tone while he leaned in a little closer. 'Take my advice, and always tell those who matter that you love them, before it is too late.'

'I will remember that,' Severus said with a nod as he looked Dumbledore in the eye. The usual twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes was gone, and Severus understood that the old man's thoughts must've wondered off to places he did not know.

'If you must know,' Severus said to turn the conversation, 'I didn't tell the Gryffindors anything about who the heir is or where the Chamber of Secrets may be located.'

'I trust your intelligence enough for you to know what you can or cannot share,' said Dumbledore. 'Perhaps it is a good thing a lot of students are aware now on what may be lurking in the corners.'

'I wish there was something we could do,' Severus said with a tone of frustration. 'I highly doubt it's possible to just blast our way into the Chamber, and even then, how could we possibly face a Basilisk with a skin as thick as a dragon.'

'Was the Basilisk ever defeated before?'

'It was,' said Severus. 'A student at the time who could speak Parseltongue had managed to find his way into the Chamber. He killed it by using a sword. Godric Gryffindor's sword, to be exact.'

Dumbledore eyes skimmed his bookshelves and looked at the old Sorting Hat. He stood up, grabbed it, and from the depths of the hat he pulled out the magnificent looking sword. He then handed it over to Severus to observe.

'That would be the one,' said Severus. 'Though I never understood why you bothered to send a sword in an old hat for aid.'

'Knowing me,' Dumbledore said with a smile, 'I must have send it because the sword can pierce through almost anything, including Basilisk skin.'

'That would make sense,' said Severus, still looking at the sword in fascination.

Severus carefully laid the sword back on the desk. 'Keep it near,' he said. 'For all we know we may need it soon.'

'Do you suggest I gave a general announcement to the school, Severus?'

'If you don't, the Gryffindors are bound to start spreading rumours,' said Severus. 'It would be better if everyone knew the truth from a more reliable source.'

'And what can we do to avoid chaos once I do?'

'Tell the students to form groups during free hours,' Severus summed up. 'Have teachers guide students to their classes after each lesson. Have them stay up in their dormitories right after dinner.'

'That sounds like a very feeble attempt to protect the students from an invisible threat,' said Dumbledore.

'It creates order,' said Severus as he looked Dumbledore straight in the eye. 'And with order comes a sense of security, even if it is a false one.'

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and absentmindedly started stroking his beard. 'Than that is what we shall do.'

'In the meantime Albus,' Severus added, 'all we can do is try to figure out a way to get inside that Chamber.'

Severus looked over at Leo and Fawkes, who seemed to have grown to tolerate each other and now sat together on the perch, eyeing the two men as they conversed. 'It feels as if I'm missing something,' he said in a low voice. 'Like a piece of the riddle that I can't seem to find to solve the problem.

'Things have a way of rising up to the surface once they need to be found,' said Dumbledore wisely. 'We can only hope that the final piece of the riddle will come to you eventually.'

Severus drained his tea and placed the cup back on the desk. 'I suppose you will do the announcement tonight after dinner?'

'I will,' said Dumbledore gravely. 'After I have spoken with the rest of the staff.'

'Then I think it's time for me to leave,' said Severus. 'Do you mind if Leo stays here a little longer?' Leo had started to become very chatty with Fawkes, and looked a little disappointed at Severus when he mentioned that it was time to leave.

'He can leave through the window when he wants to,' said Dumbledore, looking amused at the two chattering birds. 'Fawkes usually only has me to talk to. It is good to see him socialize with his own kind for a change.'

'Before you leave, Severus,' Dumbledore added, 'Take this.' On a small slip of parchment Dumbledore wrote an excuse note for Severus's tardiness and handed it over. 'Have a good day.'

With the slip in hand, Severus headed to the first hour Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson.

The seats behind Lily were still free, but Potter had somehow managed to take the spot beside her and was running his hand through his hair as he vividly talked to her about something Severus couldn't be bothered with. Once Lily noticed Severus taking the seat behind her however, she turned around and zoned out from Potter's conversation.

'How was your meeting with Dumbledore, Sev?' he asked.

'You will find out more after dinner tonight,' said Severus. 'Did I miss out on anything of importance?'

'Not that I know,' she said with a shrug. 'Potter's been talking to me most of the time.'

Potter stopped talking and looked over at Severus with a raised eyebrow. 'I was just about to tell miss Evans what an ideal date with her would look like,' he said with his nose held up in the air.

'Let me guess,' said Severus nonchalantly. 'You probably suggested taking her our for dinner, then go for some romantic stroll along the lake while presenting some pretty necklace that you bought for her, just because you can.'

Potter's other eyebrow rose up as well. 'Something along those lines, yes.'

'How pathetic.'

Lily had already started to cover her face with her notes after seeing where the conversation was starting to lead up to.

'And why exactly is it,' Potter said with a sneer, 'that you consider a romantic date pathetic?'

'Potter,' said Severus as he folded his arms on his desk. 'By all means ,ask any girl out one of those what you perceive as a romantic date, but not Lily. Lily hates those sorts of things.'

Potter turned his eyes to Lily, who was still hiding her steadily reddening face behind her notes.

'Alright then,' Potter said without taking his eyes of Lily. 'If you were to go out on a date with Lily, what would you do?'

'Quite simple really,' Severus said with an air of confidence. 'First we would sneak out in the middle of the night and run into the forbidden forest in search of adventure. We've actually done that before, now that I think of it.' He looked up towards the ceiling, contemplating on what to say next. 'Knick some food from the kitchens, then start a fire on top of the Astronomy tower. If we still have some time left we could make some music together. That sort of thing.'

'Sev,' said Lily through a fit of giggles as she lowered her notes, 'we do almost all of those things together on a near weekly basis.'

Potter's look of surprise turned into a frown. 'You've run off into the forbidden forest together, for adventure?'

'As if you haven't James,' said Lily sternly, 'and Sev and I have been going on "dates" like this since we were nine.'

'What?' James laughed. 'Don't you consider them to be real dates then?'

'Well,' said Lily, but as soon as she wanted to argue, the bell rang, and all the students scraping their chairs on the floor caused too much noise to be overheard.

Once they stood in the hallway, Lily and Severus were preparing to go their separate ways.

'Is Dumbledore going to tell us something important tonight?' Lily asked in a serious manner.

'He is,' said Severus. 'He believes my theory to be true and is probably going to invoke some new rules regarding all students' safety.'

Lily took a hold of Severus's hand and squeezed it. 'I can't help but feel that this war is coming closer and closer,' she said.

'I'm afraid it is,' he said as he felt his hand being held tight. 'Please, try not to worry too much. Dumbledore is already on it.'

'I know but still,' Lily said as she looked down at the floor. 'Dumbledore may be brilliant, but he is also just a man.'

'I think a lot of people forget that from time to time,' said Severus,' and I am glad that you are wise enough to see it. But either way, try not to worry too much no matter how difficult it is. In times like this it is important to keep your sanity.'

'We'll talk about this later, okay?' said Lily, and she released his hand as she walked off towards her next lesson. Severus could still feel the imprint of her hand in his own, and secretly wished the feeling would stay there forever.

Dumbledore did hold his speech after dinner that night. All teachers were to guide the students to each lesson from now on, and no more time was to be spent outside of the dormitories after dinner, starting now.

'Sev,' Lily whispered to him as they walked out of the great hall with all the other students. 'What about our potions? I will hardly be able to spend time with you in the lab anymore.'

Fuck. Severus hadn't thought about that at all. 'I'll see if I can arrange something with professor Slughorn,' he said. 'We've got too many things brewing for me to maintain on my own.'

Needless to say, it sucked. Severus had grown so used to having Lily around during the late-night hours inside the lab that he was a bit lost at what to do. A distraction came however, with a knock on the door.

Professor Slughorn was standing there as Severus opened the door, looking a little grim. 'I'm afraid I can't let you stay in here, mister Snape,' said Slughorn. 'Just like I can't let mister Rosier stay in his room.'

'But what about all of my potions?' Severus asked in frustration. 'Some of these need consistent maintenance, especially the wolfsbane potion that I'm brewing for mister Lupin.'

'Is there something you still need to work on tonight?' Slughorn asked.

'Not anymore,' said Severus, 'but I will have to be able to come back here tomorrow.'

'That can be arranged,' said Slughorn reassuringly. 'I'm sorry, but you and mister Rosier will have to return to your own dormitory. Dumbledore's orders.'

Reluctantly, Severus grabbed the most important belongings and followed Slughorn back to the Slytherin common room.

'Are Mulciber and Avery still there?' Severus asked as they made their way inside.

'I'm afraid so,' Slughorn said with a pat on Severus's shoulder. 'I've told the same thing to mister Rosier. If things get out of hand, you know where to find me.'

Severus nodded in understanding. 'Rosier is already there I presume?'

'He should be,' said Slughorn. 'I understand it'll be difficult, but try to have a good night mister Snape.'

'I'll try,' he said. Hesitantly, Severus stepped inside his old dormitory with his belongings underneath his arm. Evan was indeed already there, sitting on his bed with his nose buried in a book.

'I'm relieved to see you here, Severus,' Evan whispered. 'Those two are already asleep, I'd like to keep it that way.'

Severus nodded in understanding and didn't say a word back. His old bed wasn't nearly as comfortable as the one he had inside the lab, and it took a while before he was able to get comfortable again.

As he drifted between the state of alertness and sleep, his mind wandered off to Lily. He may not have been able to ask her out on date today, but at least she had given off enough signals for him to understand that there was more going on between them than just a normal friendship. With the same grin that had been etched upon his face since the beginning of the day, he drifted off to sleep.


	80. Conversations Between Friends

Not only did Severus's plan with Dumbledore result in his return to the Slytherin common room, but it also meant that the meetings with the Young Order and Dumbledore were cancelled.

With a lot of hassle, he was still able to work on his potions inside the lab in Slughorn's presence, but Lily had to return to her own common room every single night after dinner, leaving very little room for them to talk privately.

Severus nearly wished he could take back everything he had said to Dumbledore, just so he and Lily would be able to spend time together in the lab again. The only good thing so far about the entire ordeal was that Mulciber and Avery had decided to ignore Evan and Severus, rather than picking a fight, and that suited them both just fine.

Slow paced as it felt, two weeks passed without an attack or any sign of a Basilisk. Lupin had once again started taking the wolfsbane potion. This time however, he was going to have to stay in a closed off section in the hospital wing, meaning that neither Severus nor any of the marauders were able to be by his side this time around.

On the night of the full moon, Severus was sitting on his bed plucking at his bass when Evan came in the room with Regulus.

'They're not here, are they?' Evan asked as he sat down beside Severus on the bed.

'Haven't seen them,' said Severus as he put his bass down. 'What brings you here, Regulus?'

Regulus just shrugged as he sat down on he bed. 'Boredom mostly,' he said. 'I mean, I even revised all of my homework, _twice_. I never revise my homework.'

'This nonsense needs to stop,' Evan said with an air of frustration. 'I just want to be able to study in the library in peace.'

'Not to mention, no quidditch,' Regulus whined.

'Did you two come here to talk or to just sit here and complain?' Severus said as he looked them both in the eye.

'Like you're not annoyed by all of this,' said Regulus. 'As if you're not frustrated with the fact that you can't spend time with Lily?'

'Reminds me, Severus,' Evan said with a wiggling eyebrow. 'Have you asked her out on a date yet?'

An unintended sour look on Severus's face must have betrayed enough for Evan and Regulus to understand that it hadn't gone too well.

'She hasn't rejected you, has she?'

'No she hasn't,' said Severus. 'Then again, I haven't exactly been clear about my intentions either.'

'You know Severus,' said Evan as he crossed his arms, 'I was kidding when I said that I was going to ask Lily out on a date, but now I'm not so sure anymore.'

Severus shot him an angry glare. 'It's kind of hard to ask someone out on a date if you can't even leave the bloody castle,' he sneered.

'Heard some rumours that we can go to Hogsmeade again on the vernal equinox,'said Regulus. 'If it's true, then I'm going to try and ask Mary out.'

Severus's eyes grew wide after Regulus's comment. 'You and Mary McDonald?' he asked. 'Since when do you have an interest in Gryffindor girls?'

'Since Mary and I started spending some time together after the meetings with the Young Order,' Regulus said casually. 'She knew something was up after you performed legilimency on me. We've been talking after since.'

'Mind if I ask you how your brother is doing?' asked Severus. 'Is he still going to return home after the exams?'

'I think so,' said Regulus. 'Though I'm still hoping one of his friends will be able to take him in for the summer.'

'Sorry to ask,' Evan interrupted, 'but what exactly is going on at your home that makes that Sirius can't stay there?'

Regulus seemed to contemplate whether or not he wanted to tell Evan, but he had already exposed too much. 'Sirius and our parents don t exactly see eye to eye,' he said. 'And what I mean by that is that it has reached a point of mutual hatred rather than intolerance.'

Regulus looked down at his hands after he had said it. 'It all went downhill when he was sorted into Gryffindor. Our parents considered that as bad as being a Muggle.'

'I know what you mean,' said Evan. 'We both come from pureblood Slytherin families. Hell, we're even registered in the Pure-Blood Directory.'

'I have the book,' said Regulus. 'Still haven't bothered to read it till this day. But either way, the fights between Sirius and our parents run out of hand so often that it starts to get physical, and that's when it gets frightening.'

'Has Sirius ever mentioned anything to you about potentially living with the Potters?' Severus asked. 'Potter told me himself that his parents are being a bit difficult about it.'

'He has,' said Regulus. 'No idea how he's going to convince the Potters that he's not like what the entire Black family has been for centuries though.'

'He should get Dumbledore involved,' said Severus.

'Is that your answer to everything? To just get Dumbledore involved?' said Evan.

'Because of Dumbledore I am now living with Lily's family,' said Severus. 'He may be a busy man, but like I've told you before, when it concerns his students he'll do anything to protect them.'

'I suppose you're right,' said Regulus. 'Problem is, with all these new rules in place I can't speak with my brother in private anywhere.'

'I'll see what I can do,' said Severus. 'At least I get to see him in class from time to time.'

'But he doesn't know what you know does he?' Regulus asked with concern. 'Just to be fair with you Severus, but I don't think Sirius will take it lightly if he knew what you know.'

'I'll figure out a way,' Severus said confidently. 'I always do.'

'True enough,' said Regulus. 'So, on a lighter note, Evan, how are things between you and Emma?'

Evan shrugged and lay down on the bed with his feet still touching the ground. 'We talk,' he said. 'More in a friendship kind of way though. Not exactly in the way that I would like.'

'Why did the two of you break up to begin with?'

'I was too busy with other things,' said Evan. 'And by other things, I mean being sulky and depressed and irritable.'

'Good thing you pulled yourself out of that in time,' said Regulus. 'Maybe you and Emma still have a way of mending things.'

'Yeah,' said Evan while scratching his temples. 'Sometimes it helps to just chuck old things away so they can't hurt you anymore. Maybe it's not too late for Emma and I. Time will tell.'

'Why is it that every time I end up talking with a few blokes in private,' said Severus, 'the conversations always somehow lead back to talk on women?'

'Oh I don't know,' Regulus said with an eye roll, 'maybe it's because we're young, dumb and full of cum?'

All three men ended up in a fit of laughter after Regulus's statement. 'But seriously though,' Regulus said while still gasping for air, 'there's something fascinating about girls that I just can't put my finger on.'

'That's because you are supposed to put your fingers _in_ ,' said Evan as he wiped away tears of laughter from his eyes.

'Easy for you to say,' said Regulus. 'You're the only one here who's actually been lucky enough to get a girl to sleep with you. I mean, look at Severus and I,' he said as he pointed between Severus and him, 'neither of us fall in the league of handsome blokes. We got to work harder to impress the girls.'

'Did you tell Regulus that I'm a virgin?' Severus asked Evan with a frown.

'Oh please,' said Regulus with a snort, 'it doesn't take a genius to see that you're a bit of a prude when it comes to sex, Severus.'

'I'm actually quite proud of the fact that I'm saving myself for one specific girl thank you very much,' said Severus. 'And I'll be honest, when it comes to sex I really haven't got a clue.'

There was a knock on the door, and a moment later Slughorn appeared.

'We don't know where Mulciber and Avery are,' said Evan, 'if that is the reason why you're here, professor.'

'I've seen them sitting in the common room,' said Slughorn. 'I'm actually here to deliver the good new that if no attacks or anything else suspicious occurs by Saturday, the rules that Dumbledore established a few weeks prior will be lifted.'

'Does that mean we can go to Hogsmeade?' Regulus asked excitedly.

'Yes indeed,' said Slughorn, smiling at Regulus's happy state. 'And mister Snape, that evening I have planned another party. So hereby you and miss Evans are invited, as always.'

'Professor, do you know if Damocles Belby will be present by any chance?' Severus asked.

'I got the confirmation that he will be,' said Slughorn. 'Among with a lot of other potioneers from around the country, so I suggest you come and make some connections now you have the chance.'

'I'll be there,' said Severus with a nod.

Regulus turned to Severus after Slughorn closed the door behind him. 'Going to put your potion making skills up to the test there, Severus?'

'Actually,' Severus said with a hint of pride, 'I'm going to put all those potioneers up to the test with one of my more brilliant creations.'

'And what would that be?' Regulus asked curiously.

'I'm afraid I can't tell you anything until everything is confirmed and through the mill,' said Severus. 'But either way, it's a good moment to expand my horizon a bit regarding potion brewing. Otherwise my talent would be as wasted as my money on my subscription to the Daily Prophet.'

'Lily's really good with potions as well,' said Evan. 'You think she will ever end up doing something with that later?'

'If this war progresses at the same speed it's going now,' Severus said stiffly, 'Lily will have to go into hiding along with all the other Muggle born people before she can even consider a magical career.'

'Damn, that's heavy,' said Regulus. 'Sometimes I forget how privileged I am to have a pureblood status.'

It was a good thing that the term muggle born didn't fall a second later, because Mulciber and Avery had just entered the room.

'Look at that,' Mulciber said with a hollow laugh. 'A little group of blood traitors having a meeting.'

'Just shut up Mulciber,' Evan sneered.

'You think that's going to stop me from calling you a blood traitor?' said Mulciber. 'Then you are mistaken my old friend. Can't wait to see what happens when you return home to your parents now that you've shown your true colours.'

'I'm not going back home,' said Evan with his head held high. 'I've got a better place to be.'

'You're just saying that,' said Mulciber. 'Either way, Slughorn said we all have to go to sleep. If nothing happens, we're all free again to do whatever the fuck we want.'

'I better go,' said Regulus. 'I'll see you two later.'

About fifteen minutes later, all four men were lying in bed, and by the soft snoring sound Severus could tell that Mulciber and Avery were already asleep.

Through the half dark Severus could see Evan lying with his eyes wide open. Not wanting to wake the other two, he used some simple signs that he knew Evan would recognize. 'New home?' he signed. 'Where?'

Evan shrugged. 'No idea,' he signed back.

'Who?' Severus signed.

Evan seemed to think on which signs to use to fingerspell it, and slowly he spelled the letters as he held his fingers up for Severus to see. 'F-R-A-N-K.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The Vernal Equinox happened on the 20th of March back in 1976.  
> A/N I used actual lunar charts from the 70s to indicate when the full moon occurred. In March 1976 it was on the 16th.  
> A/N Cantankerus Nott is the author of the Pure-Blood Directory. It describes the "twenty-eight true pure-blood families" from the UK.


	81. The Ministry of Silly Walks

Remus had insured Severus and the rest of his friends that the potion he had made for him had once again been successful, and that spending a night at the hospital wing chatting with madam Pomfrey hadn't been so bad after all. However, he did hope that at least Severus would be able to be present again during full moon next month. Severus agreed, as long as they found a place to go to other than the Shrieking Shack.

By Friday during dinner the announcement was made that all students were once again allowed to roam freely as long as they didn't wander the castle on their own. To make it even better, Hogsmeade was no longer off limits, and a trip to the village would be held the next day.

'Looks like you'll have to come to the lab with me, Lily,' Severus said playfully, 'as I'm still not allowed to go there by myself.'

'You have no idea how much I've been looking forward to be able to brew again,' said Lily happily. 'And to make music with you, and to make homework in peace, and—'

'—want to come to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?' Severus interrupted her suddenly.

'Just the two of us you mean?' she asked.

'Yes,' Severus said as he shoved his plate aside. 'I'm sure we'll see the rest of the group there at some point, but I would like the spend the day with you together alone, if that's possible.'

'I would love that, Sev,' she answered with a smile, and Severus could feel that she had placed her hand on his knee underneath the table, causing his body to rise a little in temperature. 'Are you ready to go back to the lab?'

Severus nodded and together they made their way to the lab. Lily nearly ran inside and started observing the Felix Felicis she had been brewing. 'It looks exactly the way it should look by now,' Lily said with an air of relief. 'Thank you for looking after it, Sev.'

'Professor Slughorn looked after that one actually,' said Severus. 'Said he was quite impressed with the way you were brewing it. Good thing he didn't question _why_ we were brewing it.'

Lily stood up, kicked off her shoes and sat down cross-legged on the bed. 'Come join me,' she said as the patted the free space in front of her.

Severus had a feeling on what she wanted to talk about. Following her example, he too kicked off his shoes and sat down in front of her.

'You asked me on a date,' Lily stated.

'I did,' said Severus, a bit unsure at where to look.

'A legitimate date,' Lily added. 'Like, another kind of date than the usual date we have to professor Slughorn's parties.'

'That…that was the intention, yes,' said Severus, and felt his face starting to glow red.

'When did all of this start to happen between us?' Lily asked. 'I mean, I think both you and I know very well that something's going on.'

Severus looked down at his hands, and realized that he had subconsciously started to pluck at his own sleeves. 'I talked with Evan a while back,' he said softly, 'and he made me realize something.'

'And what would that be?'

'We talked about our future,' said Severus. 'And by our future I mean the future between you and I.'

'Is it something you're worried about?' Lily asked as she supported her head with her hand.

'A bit,' Severus admitted. 'We talked about what could happen between you and I once we graduate, and it made me a little worried.'

Lily didn't need to ask for him to continue. Her sparkling eyes were enough of an indication that she wanted him to keep talking.

'Evan made me realize that there will come a time where more men, aside from Potter, or Remus for that matter, will take a fancy in you,' Severus continued, 'and that some day one of them may catch your eye and you will return that same interest.'

Lily looked up and bit her lip. 'There aren't any that I know of,' she said.

'Not yet, perhaps,' said Severus,' but Evan made me see that in the future there will come a day where it'll be your wedding day, and I would be the one sitting among the guests as your best man.'

'Let me guess,' said Lily, 'you didn't like the idea of being my best man?'

'Yes, and no,' Severus admitted. 'I just came to the realization that there will come a time that you would confide everything to another man, and it made me…the thought of it made me jealous.'

Lily reached out and grabbed the hand Severus was still plucking his sleeve with. 'It is bizarre,' she said, 'to think that there might be a future where you and I aren't together in some way.'

'Having been friends for so long doesn't make it any easier,' said Severus, enjoying the warmth of her hand as she held it in her own. 'It's just…what it comes down to, is that I want you in my life even after we graduate, and as selfish as it sounds, I don't want you to be with anyone else but me.'

Severus buried his face behind his hair as he said it. There was no more way to take back everything he had said, and now all he could do was hope that Lily wouldn't reject everything he had just told her.

He felt Lily's other hand reach out to tuck his hair behind his ear. 'Sev,' she said in a soft voice, 'I am so glad that you are bringing this up. I honestly didn't have the courage to do it myself.'

'And yet you were the one initiating the conversation,' he said, feeling himself relax at her touch.

'True,' Lily admitted, 'but still, I suppose, like you, I am a bit afraid what this would mean to the friendship we already have.'

'Then I suggest we just take it easy,' he said, now holding both her hands in his own, 'and we'll see where it goes.'

Lily nodded in agreement. 'And what exactly do you suggest we go do in Hogsmeade tomorrow?' she asked with a smile.

'Well,' Severus said as he felt his courage travelling back in his voice, 'of course I'll have to take you to Meastro's and watch you try out every guitar that's on display, and after that, we'll see.'

'I'd like that,' said Lily, who was still smiling after Severus's suggestion.

'Would you like me to let you in on a little secret?'

'Sure,' said Lily, adjusting herself a little to be all ears on what he was about to say.

'Remember I asked Erwin for some fatherly advice?'

'I do,' said Lily. 'Are you going to tell me what that was all about?'

'Yes,' said Severus, 'I actually asked him, and Arnica, if it was okay for me to ask you out on a date.'

Lily's mouth fell open at Severus's comment. 'You seriously asked my parents for permission?' she asked with her eyes wide in astonishment.

'Not so much for permission,' said Severus, unable to keep himself from smiling at Lily's reaction, 'but rather to let them know beforehand. They do allow me to live in their home after all. It seemed like the right thing to do.'

'Sev, you're so old fashioned, 'said Lily, wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye that had formed from laughter. 'That is so adorable.'

'I wouldn't associate myself with the term "adorable" but thank you,' said Severus. 'Now, are you ready for some potion brewing?'

'I got a better idea,' said Lily. 'Let's make some music instead, because I, too, enjoy watching you play.'

After many hours of practice, they shared their goodbyes later that night in front of the Gryffindor common room. 'I'm looking forward to tomorrow,'said Lily as she was playing with her hair.

'Would you like me to come and pick you up here tomorrow morning?' Severus asked.

'Sure,' said Lily. 'See you then.' With one last smile in his direction, Lily crawled through the Gryffindor portrait, leaving Severus behind with a stupid grin on his face.

The entire way back to the lab was a blur. Not only had Lily accepted his proposal for a date, but she had also confirmed that she too felt that there was something more going on between them.

He couldn't sleep. Not that it mattered whether he could or not. All he did was hug his pillow tightly against his chest while leaning against one the beams of his four-poster bed, and with the same stupid grin on his face, he waited for the morning to arrive.

…

The next morning, and much too early, Severus was standing, or rather bouncing on his feet, in front of the Gryffindor portrait again.

'She'll be here soon,' the fat lady assured him with a wink.

'Any idea how long?' he asked.

The fat lady frowned at him. 'Give the girl some time to prepare,' she said as she shook her head. 'Men. Always so impatient.'

Fortunately, it didn't take long for Lily to come crawling through the portrait. 'I figured you'd be here already.' she said.

Severus instantly stopped bouncing on his feet once she stood in front of him, trying to keep his cool.

'Ready?' Severus asked.

'More than ever,' said Lily.

'You want to hear something funny?' Lily asked as they headed towards the grounds. 'Mary is going out with Regulus today.'

'So the little twat did ask her out,' said Severus. 'He told me he planned on asking her a couple days ago. Glad to see he had the guts to do it.'

'I'll admit I was surprised to hear it though,' said Lily. 'She's not a pureblood after all, and a Gryffindor.'

'Regulus is a lot better at keeping his head down about these matters than his brother is,'said Severus. 'Maybe that's why he was sorted into Slytherin, despite disagreeing with his family's _political_ points of view.'

'I just hope it won't form too much of a problem if they do end up as a couple,' said Lily. 'I would hate to see a relationship fail just because of those stupid ideologies getting in the way.'

'It's up to Regulus on how he is going to deal with that,' said Severus. 'There will come a point where his family finds out, just like Evan's.'

'Frank told me that Evan is going to live with him in the summer,' said Lily. 'I was so relieved to hear that Evan now has a place to go to.'

'Evan is too,' Severus reassured her. 'I can't think of a safer place than the Longbottom residence for him to be at.'

Soon they had reached the path that led up to Hogsmeade. 'I have to say, Sev,'said Lily, 'despite this rising war, I can't help but see so many people trying to do good and help each other. The good always seems to outweigh the bad.'

'I hope you're right this time, Lily,' Severus said darkly. 'I really hope you are.'

'The Shrieking Shack is over there,' Lily said happily as she pointed at the disheveled h ouse.

'Would you dare to go inside?' Severus asked her in means of a challenge.

'Nah, I'll pass,' Lily said without taking her eyes of the Shack.

'Can I let you in on a secret?'

'You sure are letting me in on little secrets lately,' said Lily as she smiled up at him. 'Have you been inside the Shack before?'

'A few times,' said Severus. 'This is the place where Remus goes to, or rather went, every month to transform. There's a tunnel underneath the Whomping Willow that leads up to it.'

'Are you saying it's called the Shrieking Shack _because_ of Remus?' Lily asked in astonishment.

'It is,' Severus confirmed. 'Just don't tell anyone I said that, or Remus for the matter. I'm not sure how he feels about being the nightmare of Hogsmeade.'

'Poor Remus,' Lily muttered. 'But it makes sense though. At least it's a secure place to stay since nobody wants to go near it.'

'Shall we move on?' Severus suggested.

As expected, Lily was bouncing on cloud nine the moment they had set foot inside Meastro's music shop. Picking up one guitar after another, admiring new models in the same way you would admire a new born.

'I can't wait to buy my own guitar,' Lily kept repeating every time she held a new model that she liked.

'How about I buy you one for your next birthday?' Severus suggested as she plucked away on a Gibson SG. A model she particularly fancied.

'Only if you'll allow me to buy you a bass,' said Lily while pointing at a jazz model on the wall.

'I like the one I'm using,'said Severus. 'Maybe I can buy it from the school.' Now that he thought of it, in his future's past he had bought the bass from school. It certainly couldn't hurt to try it again.

'Or maybe I can buy it from the school for you?' Lily suggested.

'You're not going to let this go are you?' Severus asked.

'Nope,' said Lily. 'And since our birthdays are only three weeks apart, it should be manageable.'

'A bass is expensive though,' said Severus in a feeble attempt to keep Lily from wasting her money on him.

'Then you'll get it for your birthday _and_ Christmas,' said Lily. 'And stop trying to bullshit your way out of it. It's going to happen.'

'Then I give in,' Severus said as he grabbed the jazz bass she had pointed at, and sat down beside her. 'An instrument does make for a good coming-of-age gift.'

'Much better than the usual watch,' said Lily. 'Are you getting hungry?'

'A bit,' said Severus. 'Three Broomsticks?'

'Will do,' said Lily, 'but first, try that bass you're holding.'

About an hour later, Severus and Lily were sitting at a table at the Three Broomsticks with a warm plate of food and a butterbeer in front of them. Severus could see Regulus sitting in the corner with Mary, who was laughing at something Regulus had been telling her, and Severus had the feeling that their date had been going well. On the other side he saw Frank sitting with Alice, which reminded him of something.

'Can you excuse me for a second?' Severus asked.

'Sure,' said Lily with a mouth full of food that she had already started to dig into.

Severus stood up and walked over to Frank. 'I'm just here to ask you something,' hee said as he interrupted Frank and Alice in the middle of their conversation. 'Could I borrow your suit again for tonight?'

'You got another Slughorn party?' asked Frank.

'Yes,' said Severus, 'and most of the guests this time are a lot of influential potioneers that I need to impress, so I could really use your help.'

'No problem at all, mate,' said Frank. 'I'll probably be in the great hall with Alice later so you'll know where to find me.'

'Thanks,' said Severus sincerely. 'I really appreciate it.'

'How's your date with Lily going?' Alice whispered to Severus before he had a chance to walk off.

'Good, I think,' Severus whispered back. 'Then again we're not doing anything different from what we normally do, but still…'

'It's good to see you two having fun,' said Alice. 'now, go back before your food gets cold.'

Lily must've been hungry, as she had already finished half her plate by the time Severus sat back down again.

'Are you excited for tonight?' Severus asked.

'What's tonight?' Lily asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Slughorn's party,' Severus said dryly. 'Please don't tell me you forgot about that.'

'Shit I almost did,' Lily admitted. 'We're going to have to impress some potioneers, aren't we?'

'Yes we do,' said Severus. 'And I'm really going to need you to stay by my side tonight.'

Lily put her butterbeer down. 'It's going to be busy, won't it?'

'I'm afraid so,' said Severus. 'Although I hope it won't be as bad as it was last Hallowe'en.'

'I won't leave your side, Sev,' Lily said as she reached out for his hand. 'I promise.'

The remainder of their date consisted mostly of just roaming the streets of Hogsmeade. Severus took her to the post office to pet some of the owls, and to Zonko's, where Lily bought a new supply of chocolate of royal proportion.

Lily had unwrapped a chocolate bar and shared it between them as they made their way back to the castle. 'I had a really good day today, Sev,' she said.

'As did I,' said Severus, 'and the good thing is, the day is not even done yet.'

'I can tell your happy,' said Lily as she swallowed a piece of chocolate. 'Want to know how?'

'Do tell,' said Severus, 'because I can't tell the difference between how I normally am around you.'

'You've got a bounce in your step,' said Lily. 'You only do that when you're happy.'

'Then how do I normally walk?' Severus asked.

'You don't walk,' sid Lily with a snort. 'You sort of…glide.' With a poor attempt, Lily tried to imitate how Severus usually walked.

'That looks pathetic,' said Severus as he laughed at Lily's poor imitation. 'Would be perfect for the Ministry of Silly Walks though.'

Lily started laughing at Severus's comment. 'I haven't seen Monty Python in ages. Hopefully it's on the telly again next summer.'

'That would be fun to see again,' said Severus. 'Got any more of those silly walks?'

Severus and Lily continued their way back to the castle talking and reenacting sketches from Monty Python, and were back before they knew it.

'I don't think Frank and Alice are here yet,' said Severus as they stood in the entrance hall, 'but there's one last thing that I've been meaning to give to you.'

'Please don't tell me you bought me a pretty necklace,' said Lily, still wiping away tears from laughing so hard.

'I didn't,' said Severus to reassure her. 'I actually bought you something that I know you would truly enjoy.'

'I honestly can't think of anything that would make me even happier than I already am,' said Lily, but Severus could tell that she was curious nonetheless.

From the inside of his pocket, Severus pulled out a flat square package and held it up for Lily to see.

'Sev!' she shrieked as she took the package from Severus's hands. 'New guitar strings. That's just what I needed!'

'I knew you'd like it,' said Severus, smiling at Lily's happiness over something as simple as a pack of new guitar strings.

'Thank you,' said Lily as she pulled him into a tight embrace. 'I'm so grateful to have you in my life.'

Severus returned the favour by pulling her in a little closer. 'And I'm grateful to have you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The Ministry of Silly Walks is a sketch of Monty Python's Flying Circus titled Face The Press (episode 14), and appeared on the telly for the first time in 1970. Look it up on YT if you're unfamiliar with it. You won't be disappointed.


	82. The Name is Fleamont Potter

'It still fits,' said Frank, nodding in approval as Severus stood in front of the mirror.

Severus and Frank were once again inside the Hufflepuff dormitories, and Severus got to borrow the same suit Frank had lend him before for Slughorn's party on Hallowe'en.

'So,' said Frank while giving Severus the mischievous eye, 'how was your date with Lily?'

'Not finished yet,' said Severus. 'But so far things have been going quite well, I think.'

'Have you been holding hands yet?' Frank asked with wiggling eyebrows.

'Not really my thing,' said Severus as he turned away from the mirror.

'Then you better start making it your thing,' said Drank. 'I know Lily's not the affectionate type in the way that Alice is, but I'm pretty sure even she would like some public display of affection.'

'We do…touch,' said Severus, feeling his cheeks starting to glow.

'Giving each other a hug every day doesn't count mate,' said Frank, grinning at Severus's obvious discomfort on the subject. 'Girls like being touched. Gets them all warmed up if you know what I mean.'

'I wasn't planning on sleeping with her any day soon,' Severus said irritably.

'Oh come on,' Frank snorted, 'as if you never thought about it before.'

'Of course I have,' Severus mumbled, 'and more than once to tell you the truth, but Lily and I agreed on taking it easy and I do intend to stick to that agreement.'

'You've never done it before have you?' Frank asked with a twinkle in his eye.

Severus groaned. 'Why does everybody feel the need to emphasize that bit about me?'

'There's nothing wrong with that,' said Frank. 'It's just that having sex with someone you love is so much more than just…sex.'

Frank was staring dreamily ahead of him, and Severus was immediately reminded of what he had seen Frank do to Alice when he performed legilimency on him. Severus shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memory.

'It's just, Severus,' Frank added as he leaned against the frame of his own bed, 'if you and Lily ever do reach that point, remember one thing.'

'And what would that be?'

'That watching a girl surrender herself to you is one of the most beautiful things you'll ever get to experience,' he said with a smile. 'I mean, sex is fantastic, but watching her having the time of her life because of what you can do to her is the best thing you'll ever get to experience.'

'I'll admit I'm looking forward to when the day comes,' said Severus. 'But for now, I'll stick to phase one and kiss her once I have the courage to do so.'

'Fair point,' said Frank with a nod. 'Are you ready to go back?'

Severus nodded, and together they made their way back to the great hall.

'Just one more thing before the girls come down here,' said Frank as they sat down at the Gryffindor table. 'I can say with absolute guarantee that Alice and Lily have been talking about you the entire time they've spend up there.'

'Should that concern me?' Severus asked.

'Not at all,' said Frank. 'Lily may not share the most personal things between you and her, but do understand that every single thing you do with Lily will be talked about among her girlfriends.'

'Explains why Mary had such a strong dislike for me at the beginning of the year,' said Severus.

'I don't think Mary was the only one who did, Severus,' said Frank, sounding serious. 'But you dragged yourself out of that negative spiral, and that was an admirable thing to do.'

'Thanks,' said Severus sincerely. 'I think I see them coming.'

Lily wasn't wearing the same dress she had worn at Hallowe'en, and Severus figured she must've borrowed something else from Alice. Standing right behind Lily however, was Remus, also dressed up for the occasion.

Through all the hassle of going on an actual date with Lily, Severus had entirely forgotten that he had also promised Remus to bring him along.

'Don't worry,'said Remus quickly as he saw Severus look up at him in surprise. 'I'll leave you two alone as much as possible. I really just want to speak with Damocles again.'

'No problem,' said Severus absentmindedly. He only had eyes for Lily and the elegant black dress she had put on.

Remus snickered at the sight of it and patted Severus on the shoulder. 'You're a lucky man you know that, Severus?' he whispered into his ear.

Severus nodded in agreement. 'You have no idea,' he whispered back.

'Looking dapper, Sev,' Lily said as she held out her arms to get Severus off his seat.

'Don't forget to have fun,' Alice called out to the three of them as she sat down beside Frank.

Remus walked a little further up front, probably with the intention not to disturb Severus and Lily behind him.

Frank's words rose up again inside Severus's mind. Maybe it was a good moment to reach out and grab her hand, if only his palms weren't so sweaty.

Severus could feel her hand brush up against his own with each step that they took, and he wanted to curse himself for not having the guts to wriggle his own fingers in between hers. To his amazement however, it was Lily who eventually initiated to put her hand in his, causing a shock of warmth to spread through his entire body. He had held her hands into his own countless of times before, but as he looked at her and saw her smile up at him he knew that this time everything was different, and so he squeezed into her hand to hold her just a little tighter.

Far too soon for Severus's liking, they had reached Slughorn's office. He was, however, glad that it wasn't half as busy as it was last time, giving him more room to breathe.

'Good to see you, mister Snape!' professor Slughorn said in his jolly voice, 'And you, miss Evans.'

Severus was forced to let go of Lily's hand as he shook Slughorn's. 'We brought mister Lupin with us as our date,' said Severus. 'He wanted to speak with mister Belby now that he's here.'

'Of course of course, no problem at all,' said Slughorn. 'Please, do help yourself to some dinner. Mister Belby is right over there.'

Sitting at a table was Damocles, digging happily into a plate that was loaded with food.

'Phineas Bourne is here as well,' said Slughorn. 'You probably know him as the author of Moste Potente Potions. As is Fleamont…please do go around and introduce yourselves.'

As professor Slughorn mingled himself with his guests again, Remus had caught sight of someone familiar.

'James!' Remus called out. 'I figured you'd be here already.'

Severus looked up in disgust at the sudden appearance of Potter among the other guests. 'What brings you here?' he asked, more sourly than he intended.

'My dad,' said Potter nonchalantly. 'He's standing right over there beside mister Winikus. They're business partners.'

Severus drew a deep breath and had to prevent himself from rolling his eyes. 'And what exactly does your father do in the potion business, Potter?'

'He invented the Sleekeazy's Hair Potion,' said Potter proudly. 'Made a fortune off of it too.'

'Too bad his product doesn't seem to work on his own son,' Lily teased.

'Oh ha-ha,' Potter sneered. 'Either way, I do think dad would like to meet you, Evans.'

'And why is that?' asked Lily.

Potter ran his hands through his hair. 'You'll see.' Without pardon, Potter ushered Lily to where his father was standing.

Lily looked around quickly and winked at Severus to indicate that everything was alright, but that didn't keep Severus from wanting to strangle Potter right in front of everyone to see.

Remus looked at Severus and shot him a sorry-about-that look. 'Let's go say hello to Damocles, shall we? Lily will be back.'

Severus nodded in agreement, trying hard not to curse Potter with a non-verbal spell for snatching Lily away from him.

Damocles had caught sight of Remus and Severus and waved happily at them. 'Good to see you two here!' he said. 'Please do come and sit down beside me.'

'I wasn't sure if you were going to be here or not,' said Severus. 'Catriona must be going into labour soon.'

'She's not due until the sixth of April, if everything goes according to plan,'Damocles said proudly. 'That young lady you came in here with, is that your girlfriend, Severus?'

Severus looked over at Lily, who seemed to have struck a good conversation with Potter senior. 'No,' he said hesitantly, 'she's my friend.'

'It's his girlfriend,' Remus said with a pat on Severus's shoulder. 'They're both still in denial about it but she is as good as.'

'Shut up Remus,' Severus said with an angry glare.

Damocles started laughing at the scene that unfolded in front of him. 'She looks a bit like Catriona,' he said. 'Whatever she is to you, Severus, I hope she's a keeper.'

'Damocles,' said Severus in a more serious manner, 'is there any way we could go to the Ministry in London together this summer?'

'I don't see why not,' said Damocles. 'You want to pay a visit to that lady you mentioned before?'

'Yes,' said Severus. 'Mister Winikus here may be a good connection, but he's also all about profit, which is exactly what we are trying to avoid.

'Have you seen mister Mulpepper here?' asked Damocles as he pointed at an old wizard with a shock of white hair. 'He owns an apothecary specialized in medical potions. He's quite famous for having specific ways of getting ingredients cheaply, and has had quite a few quarrels related to the Society of Potioneers.'

'So you're saying he's a potential candidate to cooperate on the wolfsbane potion?' asked Remus.

Yes indeed,' said Damocles. 'Thing is, it's never your own network that you need to look in to. It is your network's network, and mister Mulpepper is probably connected to a whole lot of likeminded potioneers such as himself.'

'Brilliant,' said Severus. 'Have you spoken with him before?'

'Only briefly,' Damocles said with a grin 'But that's going to change after tonight.'

'I hope you two can excuse me for a moment,' said Severus flatly, 'but I want to find out what Potter is up to with Lily.'

'Go save your girlfriend,' Remus called out to him with a smirk.

Ignoring Remus's remark, Severus stood up from the table and walked up to Lily, while Damocles had started talking to Remus regarding Hesper Starky.

'Good evening, mister Potter,' said Severus formally as he interrupted the conversation between him, Lily and his son. 'I'm Severus Snape.'

'Please just call me Fleamont,' said Fleamont happily as he shook hands with Severus. 'It's what everybody does.'

'I must admit I did not expect Potter's father to be a potioneer,' Severus said with a twisted smile. 'Clearly talent is not hereditary.'

'That is true,' said Fleamont as he patted his son on the shoulder. 'Fortunately he makes up for it with a talent in Transfiguration, isn't that right son?'

'Fleamont just told me about his hair product,' said Lily. 'Turns out if redheads such as me use it, it tends to give us "unique results", so we were philosophizing as to how that could be possible.'

'Probably the Asian Dragon Hair that's mixed into it,' said Severus matter-of-factly. 'Hair from a Chinese Fireball, I presume?'

'Yes indeed,' said Fleamont, looking impressed. 'I must say though, I think you're using a little too much yourself—'

'—I don't use it,' Severus interrupted quickly. 'Fleamont, could I have a word with you in private?'

Lily, Fleamont and Potter all looked at each other as if to figure out what Severus could possibly want to talk about, but non seemed to know why.

'Sure,' said Fleamont with a nod, and handed over the goblet of elf-made wine he had been holding to his son. 'In the dungeon corridor, perhaps?'

Severus give stiff nod in agreement, turned around on the balls of his feet and headed straight towards the exit of Slughorn's office.

'I've got a feeling this isn t potions related,' Fleamont said as he folded his arms.

'Not to worry,' said Severus. 'It doesn't concern your son either.'

'Good,' said Fleamont, released a bit of the tension that had appeared on his old face. 'What is it you wish to speak to me about?'

'It's regarding Sirius Black,' said Severus. 'Potter's friend.'

'Aha,' said Fleamont. 'Is he a friend of yours as well?'

'Yes,' said Severus, 'and I'm worried about him.'

'I am aware of what's going on at his house,' Fleamont admitted. 'And yes, James has suggested that Sirius could come and live with us during the holidays, but you must understand why I am a little reluctant about it.'

'I'm not here to try and convince you that you should accept Sirius into your home right away,' said Severus. 'But I do want you to know that him and I have been in very similar positions regarding our families, and I did have the chance to move away from that since last summer, and it has only been for the better.'

Fleamont leaned in a little closer. 'Was your family associated with you-know-who as well?'

'One can argue that,' said Severus, 'but unlike Sirius, I had the chance to move away from that kind of influence.'

'Look mister Potter,' Severus continued, 'Sirius has shown signs of resistance since the very first day he set foot in this castle, and I am positive that he would much rather be as far away from his family as possible, given the chance.'

Fleamont nodded along with what Severus was saying. 'I'll definitely take it into consideration. The more children that are kept away from these dark temptations, the better after all.'

'Thank you,' said Severus. 'Care to mingle with the rest of the guests again?'

Severus and Fleamont had nearly set foot inside Slughorn's office again when suddenly Evan came running around the corner. 'SEVERUS!' he yelled in a state of absolutely panic. 'PROFESSOR SLUGHORN! Emma's just been attacked!

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N On the Harry Potter Wikipedia page it's noted under Side Affects that redheads will get a "unique result" if they use the product. What that unique result is however, goes mentioned.
> 
> A/N -Hesper Starky (1881-1973) studied the moon phrases and the affect it had on potions. She's mentioned in the first three videogames and on Pottermore.  
> -Phineas Bourne wrote Moste Potente Potions. The cover of it is only seen in the movies.  
> -Rubens Winikus is the founder of Rubens Winikus and Company Inc. A company that brews and sells potions including skele-gro, which got me thinking that he may be specialized in medial potions.  
> -Mr. Mulpepper may be a name derived from Nicholas Culpeper, who was a (real) famous botanist and pharmacologist. He had a lot of different opinions regarding medical things causing him to have problems with the Society of Apothecaries. The problems between him and other pharmacologists got bigger as he was also an advocate for cheap herbal remedies, opposed to the expensive concoctions that were usually made.


	83. Evan Rosier's Confession

'Where is she?' asked Severus, feeling his old instincts kick in.

'Near the Slytherin common room,' Evan replied with a face full of tears. 'She was just going to grab something and—'

But Severus didn't bother to listen to the rest. Quickly he ran inside Slughorn's office, followed by a very confused looking Fleamont.

'Professor,' Severus called out from across the room. 'Sound the alarms. There's been another attack.'

'Guests please remain inside my office,' Slughorn said quickly as the nervous sweat started dripping off his forehead. 'Students, please do not leave my office either until everything is sorted out.'

With a remarkable speed for a lumpy old man, Slughorn dashed out of his office. 'Who is it?' he asked as he saw Evan standing in the corridor, shaking on his legs.

'Emma Vanity, sir,' said Evan as he wiped away a tear with his sleeve. 'She was just going to get something in the common room when she suddenly dropped like a stone.'

'Take me to her,' said Slughorn. 'Mister Snape, I'm putting you in charge. Please make sure that the guests don't leave. I'm going to sound the alarm and I don't want any of them to panic.'

'On it, sir,' said Severus, and with one last glance at Evan's tear streaked face he went back inside the office, and locked the door behind him.

'What is happening?' asked Lily with a look of horror on her face. Severus wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on closer so he could whisper to her. 'Emma's just been attacked. We have to keep everybody in here so work with me, okay?'

'I'm on it,' Lily whispered back, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek for reassurance. 'What do we tell them?'

'Professor Slughorn will announce it in a moment,' said Severus. 'Just try to keep everyone occupied. I've got a plan.'

Slughorn must've found Emma by now, as his voice started echoing through the hallway. 'All students must return to their dormitories immediately! I repeat, all students must return to their dormitories immediately! There has been another attack!'

'What is this attack I keep hearing about?' Fleamont asked, still confused about the whole ordeal.

Severus figured that the easiest way to attract everyone in the office was to become a center point, and so he took a leap and jumped up the teacher's desk.

'Good evening guests,' Severus said loud enough for everyone to hear. 'You probably just heard that there has been an attack and I am going to be very honest with you here.'

Severus looked around to make sure all eyes were on him. 'Over the past couple of months something of unknown origin has been attacking students, causing them to become petrified.' Several eyes started to grow wide in horror. 'Professor Slughorn has requested me to keep everyone inside his office until his return,' he added quickly. 'For now I need you all to stay calm. I am positive headmaster Dumbledore is already on it.'

After mentioning Dumbledore, everyone in the office seemed to relax just a small bit, and Severus took it as a sign that it was okay to step off the desk.

Lily seemed to have informed Remus and Potter on who had been attacked, and they had started to form groups with the guests to keep them occupied.

'Sev,' Lily said after she had made sure no one was standing alone, 'what does this mean to the school, now that there's been another attack?'

'I can only hope we can figure out a way to stop it before the Ministry starts to interfere,' said Severus darkly. 'They would probably want to close the school if it's too dangerous for students to stay.'

'No more Hogwarts?' Lily mumbled to herself. 'That would be terrible.'

'It would be,' said Severus, and he let out a growl in frustration. 'I'm afraid the rules that have been lifted yesterday will be put in place again.'

Lily groaned. 'That is the last thing I wanted to happen,' she said. 'Poor Emma though, I never knew she was a Muggle born like I am.'

Lily's comment got Severus thinking. 'I'm not sure if she is but…it would make sense.'

'Why would it make sense?' Lily asked.

'So far I never quite understood Evan's motives to turn away from his family and their support of the Dark Lord,' Severus said. 'But now I think I do.'

'Shall we sit down?' Lily suggested. 'I think it might take a while before professor Slughorn comes back.'

Severus agreed and sat down. To his pleasant surprise, Lily did not take the seat beside him, but sat down on his lap instead and leaned up against him.

'Why do I have the feeling I'll be next?' Lily said with a timid voice.

'I won't let that happen,' said Severus in a feeble attempt to reassure her, and started running his fingers down her back.

'First it was a Ravenclaw, then a Hufflepuff, now a Slytherin,' Lily summed up. 'I can't help but feel as if it's all done systematically.'

Severus wrapped his arms around her a little tighter. 'I will keep you safe, I promise.'

Lily did not respond, but merely rested her head against his shoulder. Severus could see Damocles and Remus chatting in a low voice with mister Mulpepper, and was glad that at least the business regarding the wolfsbane potion was being continued.

Another thing Severus was reminded of was that Dumbledore had assigned him to retrieve a specific memory from professor Slughorn. A thing he knew he would not be able to do for at least a little while longer. He could only hope that whatever the memory contained, Dumbledore had enough patience, and time, to wait for it.

Professor Slughorn eventually returned to his office after what seemed like over an hour of waiting, followed by professor McGonagall. 'I must regretfully inform you all that the party is over,' he said. 'Professor McGonagall will take the Gryffindor students back to their dormitory while I take the Slytherin students back to theirs. I will come back after that and escort everyone else off the school grounds.'

The guests all nodded in understanding, and Remus and Potter stood up to follow professor McGonagall back to their common room.

'I guess I'll see you at breakfast, Sev,' Lily said as she ran her fingers through his hair. She planted a kiss on his forehead and jumped off his lap. 'I'll be alright.'

Severus watched her leave with Potter and Remus closely behind her, and instantly a feeling of regret started to wash over him. He wasn't sure whether it was because his date with Lily had taken a horrible turn, or because he hadn't kissed her back when he had the chance.

With great difficulty, he managed to stand up from the chair he was sitting on and followed professor Slughorn back to the Slytherin common room.

'Do you have any potions that you need to look after tonight Severus?' Slughorn asked.

'No sir,' said Severus. 'Not until tomorrow.'

'I'll make sure you get to work on that,' said Slughorn. 'The last thing we want is for that wolfsbane potion to fail just because you can't work on it.'

'Can I get my belongings there first before we head back to the common room?' Severus asked.

'No problem,' said Slughorn. 'Go get what you need.'

Severus had hardly bothered to unpack since he moved back into the lab yesterday. Frustrated by the whole ordeal, he quickly grabbed his belongings and locked the door behind him. 'Is mister Rosier already back in the dormitory, professor?' he asked.

'He is,' Slughorn said as they headed for the entrance of the Slytherin common room. 'It took a while to get him out of the hospital wing. Poor boy has been having quite a rough year.'

'Good,' said Severus once they stepped inside the common room.

'I know it must be difficult for you,' said Slughorn, 'but try to catch some sleep tonight.'

'If not, I probably have some Sleeping Draught lying around somewhere,' said Severus. 'Goodnight professor.'

'Goodnight Severus,' said Slughorn, 'and try to keep an eye on mister Rosier for me. He confides more to you than he does to me, or anyone else for the matter.'

The curtains of Evan's bed were already shut, and Severus assumed that perhaps Evan had taken some sort of sleeping potion to get him through the night.

He crawled into his own bed and stared up at the ceiling, recalling all the things he and Lily had done during the day. Despite the horrible ending of their date, he couldn't help but smile to himself as he thought of all the good things that had happened before Emma's attack.

It was no longer a question whether Lily shared the same sort of feelings for him as he did for her, and it made him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside knowing that, in a way, Lily now belonged by his side, even if he was still unsure whether to call her his girlfriend or not.

He turned around on his side, enjoying the feeling that circled through him at every recollection of the kisses Lily had given him, and the way she had taken a hold of his hand.

At first, he thought he only heard the faint snoring coming from Mulciber and Avery, but another unfamiliar sound reached his ear, causing him to reach out to his wand.

'Lumos,' he whispered, and a small white light appeared on the end of his wand, lighting up the room like a candle.

He couldn't see anything suspicious or out of the ordinary, and after a while he came to the realization that the sound was coming from Evan's direction.

In a cat like manner, Severus got out of bed and held his ear close to the curtains of Evan's bed. It took some time before Severus could place what he was hearing, but then he came to the understanding that it was Evan who was crying into his pillow.

'Psst!' Severus hissed. 'Evan, can I see you?'

No answer came from Evan's side, and the muffled sobs continued.

'Evan please,' Severus said a little louder. 'I think it would be wise if we talked about this.'

Evan still didn't answer, so Severus decided to take the risk and opened the curtain of the bed.

It turned out his suspicion was correct, as he found Evan sobbing rather loudly into his pillow. Evan's entire body was shaking, and Severus was painfully reminded of his own panic attacks.

'Evan,' Severus repeated, and grabbed him by the shoulder in an attempt to turn him around. 'Please, talk to me.'

All Evan did was shake his head and yanked his shoulder away from Severus's grip. Not wanting to wake up Mulciber and Avery, Severus climbed into Evan's bed, shut the curtain and cast the muffliato spell in Mulciber and Avery's general direction to make sure he couldn't be overheard.

'Turn around,' said Severus, now grabbing Evan by both his shoulders to lift him up. 'Work with me here.'

'No!' Evan cried. 'I just want to—'

'—you want to what?' Severus said firmly. 'There's nothing you could've done to prevent this from happening. Don't be so harsh on yourself.'

'No you don't understand, Severus!' Evan snapped.

'And what is it that I don't understand?' Severus asked as he tried to keep his voice calm.

'You're going to hate me for this,' said Evan as he wiped away a load of tears of his face.

'If it's something of great importance, Evan,' said Severus as he tried to get Evan to turn around again, 'it is better to just spit it out and confess.'

With great difficulty, Evan turned around and sat up, avoiding Severus's eyes.

'Please don't tell anyone,' Evan said in a near inaudible voice. 'Please.'

'Evan,' said Severus in a poor attempt to sound reassuring, 'whatever it is, I promise I'll help you try and help you out with whatever mess you got yourself into.'

'You don't understand,' Evan repeated, and tears started to well up in his eyes again. 'This is my fault. All of this is my fault.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N For those of you who asked about the sincerity of Evan's motives to move away from the Dark Lord's influence, now you know.


	84. A Woman's Influence

The next morning, Severus was sitting at the Slytherin table with his hands in his hair. Evan, who was sitting beside him, was cradling a cup of tea, not daring to strike a conversation.

Last night Severus had managed to hear Evan out on everything that had happened to him since Christmas, and needless to say, it had been a headache inducing conversation. Not only was Evan panicking the entire way through, but he also confessed that the diary he supposedly had gotten from his parents for Christmas had been talking back to him the entire time. The conversations in his dairy had gotten so far out of hand that it had started to possess him, causing him to start having holes in his memory, and then, as if hearing Evan speak about being possessed wasn't bad enough, he had chucked the diary away.

Evan had told Severus that he had chucked it into the girl's bathroom up on the first floor in between classes, with the assumption that no one ever went near that bathroom to begin with since Moaning Myrtle lived in it. The problem now, however, was that all students were consistently counted and recounted by their head of house, leaving absolutely no room for Severus to sneak away and check the bathroom to see if the diary was still there.

The Gryffindors came pouring into the great hall, and Severus looked up and spotted Lily right away beside Alice. She spotted him, too, and gave out a sad smile and a wave before she sat down.

'How did everything go between you and Lily yesterday?' Evan asked carefully.

'Fine,' said Severus bluntly. 'Would have been better if I had been able to take her back to my private lab and snog her senseless, but alas, here we are.'

Evan let out a sigh and looked like he was about to start crying again. 'I'm so sorry Severus, I—'

'—Don't worry about it,' said Severus. 'The moment Dumbledore arrives we'll go up to him and you will confess everything to him in the same manner you have confessed everything to me last night.'

'I'm going to be expelled for sure,' Evan said sadly. 'I really don't deserve to be sitting here, I should just—'

'—shut up,' said Severus sharply. 'You see Mulciber sitting over there? If anyone should've been expelled by now, it's him. But no, he's still sitting here because Dumbledore wants him to, and do you know why?'

Evan shook his head, not daring to argue with Severus's sudden outburst.

'He's still sitting here because Dumbledore believes that every child is innocent until they are old enough to make their own choices. We all know what Mulciber is bound to become once he is ready to leave the school, but for as long as he's here living under Dumbledore's rule, he can't, and that's exactly what Dumbledore wants.'

'So you're saying Dumbledore will be willing to help me out despite the massive fuck-up that I made?' Evan asked with a thick voice.

'He will be,' said Severus. 'You're lucky Dumbledore is a man who stands firmly behind the principle of giving people second chances.'

'You want some coffee?' asked Evan, and from the look on his face Severus could tell he was at least no longer carrying the fear of being expelled.

'I could use some,' said Severus, and shoved his cup in Evan's direction. He could see Lily's bouncing curls peak out from behind the sea of students on the other side of the great hall, and wished above everything else that he could just find the diary, figure out its riddle, find a way to get into the Chamber of Secrets and just slay the damn snake if it meant being able to sit beside Lily again.

Severus let out an involuntary growl, knowing that he won't be able to be remotely close to her until tomorrow during Defense Against the Dark Arts.

'Here,' said Evan as he passed Severus a full cup of coffee, 'you really do look like you could use some.'

The warmth of the cup felt welcoming between his fingers. 'Where's Dumbledore when you need him?' said Severus impatiently.

'We could ask professor Slughorn,' said Evan 'He's sitting right over there.' He pointed at the end of the Slytherin table.

'I'll go and ask,' said Severus, and headed for professor Slughorn on the other side of the table.

'Professor,' said Severus as he scraped his throat. 'Could you perhaps tell me where I can find headmaster Dumbledore?'

'Dumbledore left the castle this morning,' said Slughorn as he looked Severus in the eye. 'He headed off to London to prevent the school from being closed. Is there something of importance you need to share with him?'

For a moment Severus contemplated whether it would be a good idea to confide professor Slughorn instead, but considering the amount of stress the man was currently going through, Severus decided against it. 'It's a personal matter, professor,' he said, 'but it can wait.'

He sat back down beside Evan, drank his coffee in one gulp, and felt like banging his head against the table.

'Dumbledore's in London,' Severus growled, 'and I have no idea when he'll be back.'

'Fuck,' Evan mouthed. 'Now what do we do?'

'Wait for Dumbledore's return,' said Severus. 'That's all we can do for now.'

The bell rang, and the Slytherins were the first ones to be guided back to their common room.

Severus made sure to walk as slowly as possible, buying him some time to ask Lily a question as he passed her. 'Could I perhaps borrow Leo from you? he asked. 'I still need to write a response to Erwin.'

'Sorry Sev,' Lily replied. 'I send Leo out to get something for us last night. He should be back in a day or two.'

'Something for us?' Severus asked. 'What would that be?'

'You'll see,' Lily said with a smile, 'and I'm sure you'll appreciate it, considering the circumstances.'

Before Severus could answer, he was ushered away to make sure he would follow the rest of the Slytherins back to the common room.

Evan jumped into his bed the moment they sat foot inside their dormitory. 'What do we do, Severus?' he asked in a small voice.

'Mind if I sit with you?' Severus asked. 'The last thing on my mind is doing homework right now.'

'Yeah sure,' said Evan.

Severus sat down at the edge of the bed and looked Evan in the eye. 'I have to admit, it was a bit scary to see you panic like that last night.'

'At least now I know what you felt like when you broke down,' said Evan.

'When did you ever see me panic?' Severus asked in confusion.

'When we went to Hogsmeade the first time remember?' said Evan. 'With Frank and Regulus. We were near the Shrieking Shack and you just slumped down to the ground and started shaking.'

'Now I remember,' said Severus softly. 'Aren't we a mess.'

Evan chucked at Severus's comment. 'I suppose we are. You should tell me all about your date with Lily.'

'And why would you want to know all about that?' Severus asked.

'Because I want to hear something positive for a change,' said Evan. 'I just need some distraction.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus, 'but there really isn't much to tell you.'

'You still haven't properly kissed her, have you?' Evan asked with a grin.

'No, I haven't,' said Severus. 'Wish I had though.'

'At breakfast I heard you say you wanted to snog her senseless,' Evan pointed out. 'Seriously, what is keeping you from doing so mate?'

'The unobtainable expectation of wanting it to be perfect,' said Severus, 'while knowing that there's no such thing as perfection when it comes to kissing.'

'Well aren't you being extremely overly analytical,' Evan teased. 'Let the idea of perfection go and just do it.'

'You know what Evan,' Severus said in defeat. 'You're absolutely right. The problem, however, is that right now I'm in a position where I can't be alone with her to actually do that.'

'You'll have your moment,' Evan said as he looked up at the ceiling, 'and before you know it, you'll be snogging her while naked and dancing under the blankets. And then after you both graduate, you start looking for a place to live together, and you make sure she'll be misses Snape by then, and to top it all off, you got at least three sprogs running around.'

'If that doesn't sound like a straight up nightmare I don't know what is,' said Severus, but was unable to hide a grin at the thought of Lily baring his name. 'And Lily Snape sounds ridiculous.'

'I was expecting you to protest at the thought of having children,' Evan said laughingly.

'I was getting to that,' Severus added. 'And no, I do not plan on ever reproducing.'

'Don't like the idea of being a dad?' Evan asked.

'Have you seen my nose?' Severus said as he pointed at his face. 'What kind of ill wish is that to impose upon an innocent child.'

'Point made,' said Evan with a snort. 'I think I would like them though.'

'With Emma?' Severus asked as he made himself comfortable against the beam of Evan's bed.

The grin that had been on Evan's face since they started talking about Severus's love life quickly erased. 'If she still wants me after all this,' he said softly.

'She's Muggle-born, isn't she?' Severus asked.

'She is,' Evan said with a nod. 'Needless to say, being a Muggle-born in Slytherin has been difficult on her. Quidditch was her distraction from all of that.'

'It explains so much as to why you turned away from your family's ideologies,' said Severus.

'If it wasn't for Emma, I don't think I ever would have,' Evan admitted. 'Can I let you in on a little secret?'

'After last night I would appreciate it if you didn't keep a single thing secret from me anymore,' Severus stated.

'Can't argue with that,' said Evan. 'This is actually quite stupid though.'

'Go on,' said Severus. 'You got me curious.'

Evan's face grew a tinge of red as he recalled the memory. 'The only reason why I joined the Slytherin quidditch team was so that she would notice me,' he said.

'And it worked,' Severus pointed out. 'Not such as a stupid decision after all.'

'And then I lost her,' said Evan sadly.

'There was a time where I thought I had lost Lily too,' said Severus. 'No need to give up hope.'

'Can I asked you something, Severus?'

'Fire away.'

'If you had the chance to turn back time, would you do it?'

'Depends on what for.'

'For a girl,' Evan said dreamily. 'If there was a way for me to start all over again with Emma, I would do it.'

'Would you still do it if it meant all the bad things from that time would come with it?' Severus asked.

'Definitely,' Evan said without hesitation.

'Then I recommend doing everything in your power to win her back,' said Severus. 'I'll even help you out if you need it, although I'm not sure how I could be of any use.'

'Thanks,' said Evan. 'So uhm, I know you haven't snogged her yet or anything but, is Lily your girlfriend now or what?'

'As good as,' Severus said confidently.

'That sounds good enough to me.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N If you're wondering why Evan doesn't have the diary, I suggest re-reading chapters 71 and 72.


	85. A Student has Gone Missing

If the tension inside the castle hadn't been prominent after the second attack, it certainly was after the third.

The conversations Severus was able to hold with Lily were very limited. Not only were the Care of Magical Creatures and Astronomy classes cancelled, they could also no longer sit together during meals because of the teacher's consistent recounting.

By Thursday, during their first hour potions class, Lily reached out into her pocket and handed Severus a square package.

'Is not bass strings is it?' Severus asked he turned it around in his hands.

Lily shook her head. 'Something much more useful. Just make sure you open it when you're alone, okay?'

'Thanks,' said Severus, 'for whatever it is.' He reached out to Lily and put his hand on her leg. 'Brewing potions with professor Slughorn in the lab isn't half as fun as it is with you.'

'At least you get to brew after school hours,' Lily said in a snarky voice. 'All I get to do is sitting around in the common room watching the marauders pulling pranks on people.'

Lily put her own hand on top of Severus's. 'I didn't know how much I appreciated my alone time with you until all of this happened.'

Severus was unsure of what to say. He could not find any words that could possibly make Lily feel a bit better about the whole situation.

'Mister Snape, miss Evans,' Slughorn called out firmly, 'I know how much you two love pigeons like to stick together but please, no touching during class.'

Quickly Severus pulled out his hand away from underneath Lily's, feeling the embarrassment grow prominent on his face.

'Sorry, sir,' Lily mumbled.

Severus looked Slughorn straight in the eye. Even though the professor's eyebrows were raised, he could have sworn he also saw a twinkle in the old man's eye. 'Sorry, sir,' he said.

It felt as if the bell rang much too soon, and Lily and Severus were forced to go their separate ways again.

'Do you still need to borrow Leo?' Lily asked as they headed out of the classroom.

'If possible,' said Severus.

'Then I'll take him with me during dinner,' Lily assured him.

Later that evening, Leo had come with him to the Slytherin common room, and was fluttering around happily as Severus started composing a letter to Erwin.

It had been brewing in the back of his mind for a while, but Severus decided that he didn't want to stop the investigation regarding his father's case just yet, no matter how badly he wanted to put it all behind him.

The other thing he wrote about was that he had gone on a date with Lily. That it had been a success, and that he was fairly positive that it had resulted in them being more than just friends.

On another thought, Severus had a feeling that since Dumbledore was spending so much time at the Ministry to keep the school from being closed, the news on the attacks must be travelling at rapid speed through the wizarding world as well, meaning that if Erwin was still spending time with the Weasleys, he was bound to find out sooner or later.

'I saw you holding hands in class today,' said Evan as he walked up to Severus.

'What an impeccable observation Evan,' said Severus, not taking his eyes of the letter he was writing.

Evan sat down in front of his and wiggled his eyebrows. 'You've should've seen Potter's face when Slughorn called you two love pigeons.'

'What did he look like?' Severus asked as he looked up in sudden interest.

Evan pulled a face that looked like he was chewing on a particularly sour lemon, mixed in with a painful looking frown.

'Brilliant,' said Severus. 'I hope he pulls that face every single time he sees us together.'

'Neat owl you got there,' said Evan.

'That's Leo,' said Severus. 'He was a gift from me to Lily last winter.'

Leo seemed to have taken note and swooped down onto the table in front of Evan, ready to be petted.

'What a handsome fella,' said Evan as he started petting Leo on the head. 'Did you know you can see the back of owl's eyeballs through their ears?'

'I did not,' Severus said dryly, 'nor was I planning on ever finding out.'

Leo grew wide-eyed, hopped away and hid himself in the nape of Severus's neck. 'Well now you've done it,' Severus pointed out. ' Scaring the poor thing.'

'Sorry Leo,' said Evan. 'He's smart though, if he really did just understand what we were talking about.'

After finishing his letter, and homework, Severus decided to go to bed early so he had the chance to open up the package Lily had given him in private. He crawled underneath the blankets, and Leo sat beside him on the pillow, watching intently, as Severus carefully unpacked the gift.

It felt a bit of an anti-climax as Severus held up the square and simple looking mirror.

'Any idea why she send me this, Leo?' Severus asked.

Gently Leo started pecking at the mirror and let out a hoot. Did Lily give him a mirror so he could look around corners for a Basilisk perhaps? The last thing he needed was a mirror to look at himself into.

'Sev,' a soft voice whispered, and from shock Severus dropped the mirror into his face and reached for his wand.

'Lily,' Severus whispered back. 'Where the hell are you?'

'In the mirror you daft idiot,' said Lily. 'I have the other one.'

Severus let out a sigh of relief. 'What was it you just called me?'

'A daft idiot,' Lily repeated.

'I needed to hear that,' Severus said as he picked up the mirror, and saw Lily's face from up close. 'It hadn't occurred to me that it was a two-way mirror.'

Leo climbed on top of Severus's shoulder so he could look into the mirror as well. 'Hey Leo,' Lily whispered. 'Are you going to send him off tomorrow, Sev?'

'Yes I am,' said Severus. 'I could ask professor Slughorn to send him off but he seemed so stressed that I figured I'd just wait until tomorrow.'

'It's good to be able to talk properly with you again,' Lily said with a smile.

'It's good to see you too,' said Severus, smiling back. 'Where did you get the idea of buying a two-way mirror?'

Lily bit her lip before she said it. 'Potter actually came with the idea,' she said. 'He has one that he shares with Sirius.'

'You would almost suspect them to be a couple the way they behave,' said Severus.

'I've actually told them that before,' Lily giggled. 'Potter wasn't pleased.'

Lily rolled over on her stomach and put the mirror up against her pillow. 'Have you made a choice regarding the research around your father?' she asked a bit more seriously.

'I don't want the investigation to stop just yet,' said Severus, admiring the way Lily was lying down in her bed. 'I've set a mental deadline for the end of the summer.'

Lily nodded in understanding. 'Good idea. Anything else worth knowing?'

'Well I—,' Severus mumbled. 'I told Erwin about the date we had.'

'And what exactly did you tell him?' Lily asked. She supported her head with one hand, ready to hear what Severus had to say.

'I told him we had a good day,' said Severus, 'and I also told him about the attacks that have occurred.'

'Why would you do that?' Lily asked wide-eyed.

'Because Dumbledore is currently at the Ministry fighting hard to keep the school from being closed,' said Severus. 'And do you remember who else works at the Ministry?'

Lily looked up and took a moment to think. 'Arthur,' she mumbled. 'And dad is still spending time with him and Molly, isn't he?'

'Exactly,' said Severus. 'So I figured he would rather hear it from us than from Arthur himself, as he's bound to find out sooner or later.'

'Smart thinking, Sev,' Lily admitted. 'but you're avoiding my question.'

'You want to know what I told Erwin about us, don't you?' Severus asked.

Lily nodded. 'I'm just curious how you told him.'

'Told him what?' Severus teased.

'Are we just going to bounce the ball back and forth till one of us gives in?' Lily asked.

'Alright, I give in,' said Severus. 'I told Erwin that we are more than just friends and that we are taking it easy.'

'Am I not your girlfriend then?' Lily asked with a grin.

'Well that depends on whether you want to be or not,' Severus said shyly.

Lily let out a giggle and started playing with her hair. 'I've been thinking a lot about certain things you said when I followed you and Dumbledore into the woods.'

'Such as?' Severus asked, getting curious.

'The idea of us not sharing a life together after we graduate,' said Lily. 'Since the very first day that I met you, you have become such an important part of me. The very though of losing all of that breaks my heart.'

Severus could see that Lily's eyes were getting watery, and subconsciously reached out to her by touching the surface of the mirror.

'I'll always be there for you,' said Severus. 'Or better yet, I'll always be there with you. By your side, where I should be.'

Lily cracked a wide smile as she wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye. 'You know what I want more than anything right now?'

'What would that be?'

'To crawl into bed with you.' Lily hid her face the moment she said it. 'Just to be with you,' she muffled through her hands. 'Nothing else.'

'We'll have our moment,' said Severus in an attempt to reassure her. 'For now, we'll just have to be patient.'

Lily was about to open her mouth when McGonagall's voice started echoing through the entire school. 'All students must be guided to the great hall! All students must be guided to the great hall! A student has gone missing!'

Lily's sudden look of utter shock turned quickly into a look of determination. 'Bring your mirror, Sev. I'll see you downstairs.'

Like that, Lily's face disappeared, and Severus was once again staring back at his own reflection.

'Severus, are you there?' Evan voice asked from the other side of the curtain.

'Yes,' said Severus. 'Let me get dressed real quick.'

Severus quickly pulled out one of his band shirts and a pair of jeans from his trunk and threw them on. Once he opened the curtains, he saw Evan had wrapped himself up in a bathrobe, and Severus could tell most students had had the same idea as they were already wearing pajamas. He stuffed the mirror and his wand in his pocket, had Leo nuzzle up on his shoulder, and ran right after Evan with the rest of the Slytherin house towards the great hall.

'I wonder who's gone missing,' said Evan with panic in his voice. 'I really hope it's not another Muggle-born.'

'I have no idea but at least I know it's not Lily,' said Severus. The moment they had reached the great hall, he started skimming the crowd for Lily, but quickly came to the realization that the Gryffindors hadn't arrived yet.

'Evan,' said Severus as he stopped him from walking up to the Slytherin table. 'This is chaos.'

'Yes it is,' said Evan with a confused look on his face. 'Not exactly something to sound so happy about.'

'No, this is brilliant,' said Severus. 'We still need to look for that diary, and this is the perfect moment to do it.'

The fear of running off when the entire school was in chaos was prominent in Evan's eyes, but he still nodded in agreement. 'Let's do it now,' he whispered.

Severus and Evan turned clockwise and counter-clockwise from each other and slithered through the crowd that had started to pour in. Once the had reached the entrance hall, they looked around to make sure no one was watching them, and headed for the staircase.

'Leo, I need you to go back to the owlery,' said Severus as he picked him up off his shoulder. 'It's not safe for you here.' Leo let out a hoot and flew off right away.

'Let's go, now,' said Severus, but before he was able to set foot on the staircase something similar to a cloak was tossed over him and Evan, causing him to nearly trip over his own feet.

'What the hell!' Evan called out, but was quickly shushed by Lily's hand covering his mouth.

'Be quiet,' Lily gritted through her teeth.

'What is this thing?' Evan asked as he felt the smooth surface of the material that covered him.

'Lily,' said Severus as he looked at her in amazement. 'This is Potter's invisibility cloak. How did you get it?'

'What he doesn't know won't hurt him,' said Lily with a twinkle in her eye. 'I knew you'd be up to something, curious as you are.'

'I could say the same about you,' said Severus, and noticed that like Evan, Lily too, was wearing her bathrobe.

'Can we just get a move on?' Evan asked in a panick stricken voice. 'I really want to get this over with.'

'I don't know what it is you're after Evan,' said Lily quiet but firmly, 'but crouch down a bit since this thing is too small for the three of us, and lead us to wherever it is you need to go.'

The doors of the great hall were being closed, and Severus knew that now there was no way back.

'Wands out,' said Severus, 'and start walking.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Add this to the list of things you needn't not know but now do anyway: It is true you can see the eyeballs of owls through their ears.


	86. The Name is in The Riddle

'Evan,' Severus whispered, 'I know you are tempted to go to the hospital wing, but we really should head the other way,'

Evan had stopped walking and was clearly torn between heading to the hospital wing to visit Emma or retrieving the diary.

'Listen,' Lily pointed out as they heard faint voices coming from the direction of Myrtle's bathroom. 'I think some of the teachers are over there.'

'Come on Evan,' said Severus firmly while grabbing him by the shoulder. 'We have to do this.'

Evan closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. 'Let's do this,' he said, a little more weakly than he probably had intended.

Crouched down awkwardly to remain fully covered under Potter's invisibility cloak, the three friends took a turn and headed for the bathroom. There, around the corner, several teachers were hurdled together and were looking up at the wall where a new message had appeared.

'His bones will lie in the chamber forever,' Evan mouthed weakly. 'Severus, I think someone may have found the diary before us.'

'Only one way to find out,' said Severus, and took the lead to go inside the bathroom. Once he was sure enough that the door was locked behind him, he tossed off the invisibility cloak.

'Something about a diary?' Lily asked in confusion.

Severus just realized that Lily was still entirely in the dark when it came to Evan and the diary, and so he shot Evan a glance to say that it was time to confess to Lily as well.

'Remember how I got a diary for Christmas, Lily?' said Evan.

'I remember,' said Lily, still not looking any less confused than before. 'You were writing in it all the time.'

'I thought I had gotten it from my parents,' said Evan. 'Turns out, it hadn't come from them.'

Lily folded her arms over each other. 'Sorry to hear that, but that still doesn't explain why we're looking for it.'

'It's because the diary has been talking back to me the entire time.' Evan flinched the moment he said it, as if he somehow expected Lily to slap him out of sheer stupidity.

'Are you kidding me!' Lily shrieked in disbelief and covered her face with her hands out of sheer frustration. 'Evan, you really shouldn't trust anything if you can't tell where it keeps its brain.'

'While you two get more and more frustrated about the situation,' Severus called out from across the bathroom, 'I'm still searching for the damn thing.'

Lily flipped her hair back and put her hands on her hips. 'What does the bloody thing look like?' she said sharply.

'Plain black, leather bound, and quite old coming to think of it,' said Evan. 'And please don't be angry with me, you look quite freaky when you do.'

'Bit late for that don't you think?' Lily sneered. 'I'll start looking through the stalls, you go searching on the other side.'

Evan didn't need to be told twice to start searching for his old diary. They had been searching for a good ten minutes when Lily let out a scream for one of the stalls.

'You alright in there, Lily?' Severus called out as he immediately rushed up to her.

'I'm fine,' said Lily. 'I'm so sorry Myrtle. I didn't expect you to come popping out of a toilet like that.'

'That's okay,' said Myrtle in a frail girly voice, 'no one ever expects Myrtle to be anywhere at all.'

Myrtle floated through the door of the stall, and Lily followed closely behind her. 'Myrtle,' she said, 'can I ask you something?'

'Well that depends,' said Myrtle.

'We're looking for a dairy,' said Lily. 'Plain and leather bound. Do you happen to have seen such a thing?'

Myrtle's otherwise dreamy looked turned into a scowl. 'Something similar was thrown at me not too long ago, by _him_ non the less,' she said angrily as she pointed at Evan. 'And then a nice boy had come in here because he heard me crying and then he took the thing with him that was thrown at me.'

'Could you please tell me who that was?' Lily asked carefully.

'Why should I tell you!' Myrtle snapped. 'That thing was for him. Why would you want to take it away?'

'Because we believe he may have gone missing because of it,' said Severus. 'Myrtle, please, do you have any idea where this diary might be?'

Myrtle did not look as displeased at Severus as she did with Evan, but it still took her a while to come to a conclusion. She did not say anything, but she pointed at the sink right across from the stall she had come out of. 'He keeps it there,' she said. 'He had promised he would come and visit me today, but he never showed up.

Myrtle let out a loud sob and floated off to a corner of the bathroom. 'Just take it and leave!' she shrieked.

Severus hurried himself towards the sink, exploring it with his fingers and stumbled upon the small snake that was etched into the copper tap.

Severus wasn't going to mention it to Lily or Evan. He knew that the entrance to the Chamber was inside this bathroom, but now he also knew exactly _where_ the entrance was. Not having a single clue as to how to get in however, made him decide it was better not to have them panic and rush off to a teacher.

Hidden in the shadows, Severus found the diary secured between the drainpipe and the wall.

'This is it I suppose?' Severus asked Evan, and Evan's involuntary whimper was good enough of an answer to him.

Quickly Severus shoved it in the pocket of his jeans. 'I suggest we take the cloak and head for the library down the corridor. If the book tells us anything, we'll have immediate access to information.'

Both Severus and Lily nodded in agreement, and Lily tossed the cloak over them once again.

The teachers were gone. No doubt they had gone back downstairs with the rest of the students to make sure they were all still there.

'I suggest we better hurry,' said Severus. 'If the teachers haven't found out by now that we are gone, they are bound to find out soon.'

They walked as fast as the cloak allowed them to. With a simple "alohomora" Lily unlocked the doors and locked it again once they were inside.

'Let's take a closer look at this damn thing shall we?' Severus said as he got out from underneath the cloak, and headed for madam Pince's desk.

Severus sat down in madam Pince's chair and slammed the diary onto her desk while Lily and Evan jumped up on the edge of the desk on each side.

The cover didn't reveal anything out of the ordinary, so Severus picked it up again and started leafing through it. 'I suppose it only talks back if you write in it?' he asked.

Evan nodded. 'That's what it did for me.'

Severus leafed through it again, and this time he nearly dropped it when he saw what was written on the first page.

'Evan, have you seen this before?' Severus asked as he held up the diary to him, showing him the initials T.M. Riddle in smudged ink.

Evan shook his head. 'I never noticed that before.'

'Are you being entirely honest with me, Evan?' Severus said sharply.

'Yes, yes I am,' Evan said quickly. 'But I know the name though. It revealed itself to me when I started writing in it the first time.'

'Could you pass me the quill and ink from behind you, Lily?' Severus asked. 'And Evan, grab one of those slips of parchment.'

Severus shoved all of it in Evan's direction. 'Write down the full name if you can.'

Evan grabbed the quill, dipped it in the ink, and with a shaking hand he wrote out the entire name. " _Tom Marvolo Riddle_."

'How come he revealed this to you, Evan?' Severus asked as he held up the slip of parchment for Lily to see.

'Because we talked a lot about coming from ancient families,' said Evan. 'And how I felt ashamed about mine and he told me all about his and why he hated it.'

'Lily,' said Severus as he put the slip down on the desk and looked her in the eye. 'Do you trust me?'

'Do you know something more about this?' Lily asked.

'I do,' said Severus. 'It's something that I have discussed with Dumbledore before.'

'Is it vitally important for us to know?' Lily asked.

'It makes all the difference in the world,' said Severus darkly. 'I'm going to show you both something, and I need you both to promise me not to freak out.'

Lily squeezed into Severus's right hand that he had resting onto the desk. 'Just throw it at us,' she said with a nod in Evan's direction.

'Alright,' said Severus stiffly. 'Lily, you know that I'm quite good with puzzles, don't you?'

'If you mean that I know you always manage to finish dad's crossword puzzles, then yes,' said Lily.

'Good,' said Severus. 'What I'm about to show both of you is an anagram for a name we all know too well.'

With the quill, Severus started crossing out the letters Evan had written and wrote them down in a line underneath it. Once he was done, he held it up for Lily and Evan to see.

Both nearly fell of the desk and they read what Severus had written. 'Are you absolutely certain about this?' Lily asked in a faint whisper.

'Positive,' said Severus. 'Tom Marvolo Riddle is the birth name of the Dark Lord himself.'

'Are you telling me that I've been talking to _him_ all this time?' Evan whimpered.

'I'm afraid so,' said Severus. 'Although I think this diary is more a preservation of him than his actual self.'

'Do you think we should take this to a teacher?' Lily suggested. 'Just confess of our whereabouts and hand it over?'

'Dumbledore hasn't returned yet I believe,' said Severus. 'And how exactly do you suggest going up to a teacher and tell them that you have found a piece of the Dark Lord himself that he left behind?'

Lily looked up at the ceiling and looked like she could not find the right words to say. 'Then what do you suggest we do, Sev?' she asked. 'We can't just go back and pretend nothing happened, but we can't stick around inside the library either.'

'I would bet all my gold that the student who has gone missing was the one who had found the diary,' said Severus. 'Meaning that he is probably down in the Chamber as we speak.'

Evan leaned forward and put his hands in his hair. 'Severus,' he said in a small voice. 'I will tell you everything that I've told Riddle if that is of any help.'

'I have a better idea,' said Severus. 'How about I just asked him myself?'

'Are you sure that's safe?' Lily asked with a look of concern.

'Probably not,' said Severus. 'But there's a student down there dying in the Chamber, and this diary is probably the only thing that can help us find him.'

'Please don't hate me after this,' said Evan as he handed Severus the quill. 'I have told him so much more than I should have.'

'Now is not the time to question your stupidity, Evan,' Severus snapped. 'I'm going to try to help you out of this mess. Ready?'

Evan nodded, and with Lily he leaned in a little to see what Severus was going to write down.

"Hello _"_ was the first thing Severus wrote down, and waiting to see if an answer would appear.

Oozing back out of the pages, an answer came. " _Hello,_ " it read. _"Who is writing me?"_

Severus hesitated for a moment, but decided that being honest would be the easiest way to get the information that they needed. The Dark Lord after all, had always been able to pick out liars with ease.

"My name is Severus Snape," he wrote.

" _Hello, Severus Snape. I have been hoping to meet you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Still not over the fact that Severus once wrote a riddle [the one Hermione cracked] in order to keep Riddle away from the philosopher stone.


	87. The Chamber of Secrets

'Did you tell Riddle about me?' Severus asked as he looked up at Evan.

Evan showed a painful look on his face. 'I've told him everything Severus,' he said softly. 'About my troubles and my friends and Emma…'

Severus drew in a deep breath, trying to remain calm. 'And can you tell me why he wants to speak with me?'

'Because I told him how you were turning away from the Dark Lord,' said Evan, 'and that I was following you with it.'

Evan seemed to understand what he had just said. 'Please don't tell me that I've been telling the Dark Lord himself that I've been turning away from him?'

'You did,' said Severus. 'The good news, however, is that I doubt this diary is connected to the Dark Lord physically somehow. Meaning that the man out there doesn't know what is being done with his diary out here.'

'Well I feel so much better now,' said Evan sarcastically. 'But what do you suggest we do next?'

'Flatter him, perhaps?' Lily suggested. 'We need to find a way to get inside the Chamber, and this diary is the key to it, isn't it? So why not ask?'

Severus nodded in approval. 'Let's give it a try shall we?' He dipped his quill in the ink and thought about what to write next.

"Why is it you've been hoping to meet me?"

" _Because you and I are not so different from one another, Severus. We are both half-bloods from troubled backgrounds. We both came to Hogwarts in search of recognition. We are both powerful beyond our years. Needless to say, for the first time I believe to have found a worthy opponent. Someone who I could mark as my equal."_

'He's a half-blood?' Lily whispered. 'Is this diary telling us that you-know-who is an actual half-blood?'

'Dumbledore showed me during one of our meetings,' said Severus. 'I won't bore you with the whole story, but what I can tell you is that the Dark Lord grew up in an orphanage, not knowing he was a wizard until Dumbledore himself came to visit him. His father's name was Tom Riddle, a muggle, and his mother's name was Merope Gaunt, a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin himself…and a squib.'

'Woah,' Evan called out. 'Then how come he's so obsessed with blood purity if he's not even a pureblood himself?'

'I have a suspicion,' said Severus. 'Finding out he is a descendant of Salazar Slytherin himself is definitely the kind of recognition he had been searching for when he came here. The other side to that is that he's been trying to erase the Muggle part of him, by giving himself a new name, and shunning everything that had to do with being a Muggle.'

Severus looked down at the diary. The words that had formed on the page were now erased, showing nothing but a blank sheet of paper. ' _Someone I could mark as my equal,'_ Severus muttered to himself.

Lily looked at Severus in a way that may have been interpreted as concern, but Severus knew better than that. She was looking at him as if she was coming to a better understanding.

'Severus,' said Evan, 'I think I'm starting to understand something.'

'And what would that be?'

'Salazar Slytherin was a Parseltongue, wasn't he?' said Evan, more as a statement than a question. 'And the monster that is moving around the castle is most likely a Basilisk.'

'And you-know-who is a direct descendant of Slytherin, meaning that he most likely speaks Parseltongue himself,' Lily added. 'It all adds up, but _he_ couldn't be down there right now, can he?'

'Somehow I doubt that,' said Severus, 'but of course we can't be entirely sure of anything at the moment.'

Severus picked up the quill again and held the tip against the paper. "Can you speak Parseltongue?"

" _Yes."_

"Is that how you gained entrance to the Chamber of Secrets?"

" _Yes."_

"Could you teach me so I can find my way in?"

" _No, but I can show you."_

Severus put the quill down and ran his hand through his hair. 'I think I figured out a way to get inside the Chamber,' he said.

'Does it include us as well?' Lily asked as she pointed at Evan with her eyes.

'This thing can possess me,' Severus said as he looked at Evan. 'Something that you are a bit of an expert on.'

Evan started to shake his head. 'No Severus,' he said weakly, 'being possessed like this isn't like anything else you'll ever experience. You'll lose control of everything.'

'That's where you two come in,' said Severus. 'If I allow Riddle to possess me, he'll be able to lead us to the Chamber through me. You two can watch my back while he leads me there, and if it runs out of hand…well, just take the diary from my hands and toss it I suppose.'

'Are you really saying that we are going to go down there?' Evan asked fearfully. 'Where there's a giant snake crawling around who could kill you with a single glare, and maybe even potentially the Dark Lord himself.'

'If I'm not mistaken, Evan, it was you who got us into this mess,' said Severus dryly. 'So I suggest sucking it up because there's a student out there dying, or worse, already dead.'

'I'm coming with, Evan,' Lily said in a feeble attempt to reassure him. 'You don't have to go through this alone.'

'Make sure you have your wands out and ready,' said Severus. 'I'm going to tell him to take me over.'

Quickly Severus scribbled "show me" onto the page, as if hastening it would somehow make it easier to deal with.

" _Follow me"_ were the last words written on the page when suddenly the book started to leaf through its own pages, and opened up somewhere in the middle, showing a graph of words written in a strange language.

'This must be Parseltongue,' said Severus. 'Or at least the phonetics of it, but why is it not possessing me?'

Neither Evan nor Lily answered, and when he looked up it seemed as if they were clouded in a haze. He could see they were talking to him, but he could not understand the words that were coming out of their mouths.

Severus could see Lily take of hold of the invisibility cloak and tossed it over him. He could sense that it was time to leave, and so he let his feet do the work for him.

Severus didn't think much of anything until they reached the bathroom again, and let his feet carry him towards the sink where he had found the engraved snake on the copper tap.  
It was odd. He could sense Lily and Evan behind him, but it was as if their presence wasn't significant to whatever it was that he was about to do. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, feeling the excitement of the moment flow through his veins.

" _Go on, say it!"_ a voice in his head demanded.

'Open up,' said Severus, but it wasn't his own voice that he heard. He looked down at the diary, still holding on to the page where Riddle had opened it. The foreign words were now underlined, and Severus took in what was written.

This time, a strange hissing noise escaped him, and the tap began to glow a brilliant white light and began to spin. After that, the sink started to move, and sank right out of sight, revealing a pipe large enough for a person to slide through.

Knowing deep within his mind that he would land softly if he jumped, he jumped, and after what seemed like an endless dark slide, he landed with a wet thud inside a stone tunnel.

He knew Lily and Evan were close behind him, but that didn't stop him from walking down the tunnel. A part of him wanted the confirmation whether the Dark Lord was really down here in the tunnel or not, but on the other side he could hear his own voice saying that he had to start looking for the missing student.

'Sev!' Lily yelled from behind him. 'Remember there's a Basilisk down here!'

Severus knew there was a Basilisk, of course, but that didn't stop him from running down the tunnel until a solid wall up ahead forced him to. Two serpents were carved into the stone, and this time saying the words to open the hidden door came more naturally.

As the serpents parted in two halves, the door cracked open, and Severus didn't hesitate to step inside the long dimly lit chamber.

'Sev, please stop!' he heard from behind him, and Lily yanked the diary out of his hands and tossed it straight into the chamber.

The cloudiness that had shrouded his vision started to ebb away, and for the first time Severus was actually seeing where he was standing.

'That was creepy mate,' Evan said as he was standing beside Severus, looking wide-eyed. 'Where the hell are we?'

'The Chamber of Secrets, I suppose,' Severus said as he looked around. Against the very back of the Chamber, a giant stone statue of a bearded face adorned the room. In between the enormous gray feet of the statue, was a small figure, laying face down on the stone cold floor.

Lily must've seen it too, as she immediately ran up to what had to be the missing student, and Severus and Evan followed suit.

'Do any of you know who this is?' Lily asked as she checked to see if he had a pulse.

'His name is Gilderoy Lockhart,' said Severus. 'First year Ravenclaw.'

'Why is it you always know these things?' Evan asked as he took of his bathrobe, revealing his thin silk pajamas.

'Because I actually pay attention when people are being sorted,' said Severus. 'Let's wrap him up, shall we.'

'Please wake up,' Lily whispered to Lockhart as she struggled to pull his arm though the sleeve of Evan's robe.

'He won't wake,' said a soft voice.

All three immediately looked in the direction of where the voice had come from, and Severus was painfully reminded of every single time he had heard that voice before.

From behind the enormous statue, a young man with a handsome face appeared.

'Riddle,' Severus said darkly as he stood up.

'Severus, I presume, and Evan,' Riddle said in the same soft voice he came in with. You don't like any different from all your other family members that I went to school with.'

There was something very off-putting to see the boy who would once become the Dark Lord stand before him, covered in a monochrome hue, as if he was not quite a whole man, just like he had later in life.

'What are you?' Lily called out as she was still aiding Lockhart.

'A memory,' Riddle said quietly. 'Preserved in a diary for a very long time. And who might you be, miss?'

'Not of your concern,' Lily sneered back. 'What have you done to him?'

Riddle let out a cold hollow laugh that made the hairs stand up of Severus's neck. 'I've always had a way of charming people, and I'm sure Evan here could tell you all about that, just like Gilderoy here,' he said with a pouting face that was anything but sad looking, 'who is having such a hard time proving himself worthy, being the only non-squib in the family.'

'What has he ever done to you to deserve this?' Lily asked, her eyes turning to angry slits.

'Feisty one, are we?' Riddle said as he took a step in her general direction. 'I bet you were sorted into Gryffindor. Always so recklessly brave. Always the first ones to die.'

At that, Severus jumped in front of Lily with his wand up and his arms spread. 'It's me you wanted to see,' said Severus. 'Speak up!'

'I have always admired those with great power,' Riddle said airily. 'The founders of Hogwarts, Merlin, Grindelwald and yes, even Dumbledore himself.' Riddle took another step forward, now looking Severus directly in the eye. 'And then a new name came around. _Yours._ First your quivering friend here told me all about you, and then this youngster mentioned your name, and that was when I knew that I just had to meet you.'

'What is it that you want from me?' Severus asked.

'The reason why you no longer wish to serve among my ranks,' Riddle said matter-of-factly. 'From what I understood, you wanted to be acknowledged, to be recognized, and powerful. All things that I can offer you, and yet, you decided to throw it all away, _and for what_?'

A sly grin had started to form on Severus's face. 'Because of something that you will never understand Riddle,' he said confidently.

'And what would that be?' Riddle asked, his face turning ugly.

'I fell in love, with a mudblood.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Some lines have been used from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. All rights reserved to Rowling, of course.


	88. The Large Impact of a Small Owl

'Love,' Riddle spat. 'It seems that I may have overestimated you after all. For you to give in to something so weak and fragile, when you have the potential to be so much more than that.'

Severus merely shook his head at Riddle's words. 'It isn't. Not to me.'

'Let me ask you something,' Riddle said as he started to pace around the Chamber. 'What do you fear most in this world?'

Severus was instantly reminded of his Boggart, which had taken the shape of his future self, but he knew that that was not the answer Riddle was seeking.

'The lose the one thing that matters most to me,' Severus answered, and that was the truth.

Riddle once again let out his cold and hollow laugh. 'There is only one thing to fear in this world, and that is death.'

The sly grin that had formed on Severus's face earlier now turned into a wide one. 'I do not fear death,' he said confidently, reminded of the miracle of having been given a second chance.

'Sev,' Lily's voice called out from behind him. 'Gilderoy is growing weaker.'

It did seem as if Riddle had started to grow more solid since his appearance from behind the statue.

'It won't take long now,' Riddle said as he looked at Lockhart with amusement. 'He poured quite a lot of his soul into me, and soon I will be whole once more.'

'What purpose does it serve when you are already out there?' Severus asked boldly.

'Don't you see Severus,' Riddle hissed at him. 'This part of me was only ever meant to finish what the great Salazar Slytherin himself had started. To cleanse the school from Muggle-borns, and I intend to do just that, starting with your filthy _mudblood girlfriend.'_

Severus shot a Incarcerous spell at Riddle, but the ropes that shot out of his wand flew straight through him.

'Think you can touch me, Severus?' Riddle said coldly. 'Think you can stop me by throwing spells at me?' With a twirl of his school robes Riddle faced the stone statue. 'I'm going to start with what I was made to do, and I will not finish until it's done.'

'Severus, look,' Evan whispered from behind him, and pointed in the direction they had entered the Chamber.

In the distance, a small owl was struggling hard to stay airborne due to the heavy load that it was carrying.

'Leo!' Lily called out, causing Riddle to look behind him, showing an ugly grimace on his face.

'A bloody owl,' Riddle laughed. 'Bringing an old hat. Whoever is coming for your aid must not quite understand the seriousness of the situation.'

Leo swooped down on Severus's shoulder and dropped the sorting hat in his outstretched hands. 'Clever owl,' Severus whispered, and he had a feeling no one was coming for their aid other than Leo alone.

'Severus,' Evan said in a quivering voice, 'that statue is moving.'

The mouth of the stone statue had started to open, forming a large black hole. 'Lily, Evan,' Severus said sharply. 'Get up and run to the other end of the Chamber. NOW!'

Evan immediately started running with his wand held out before him. Lily took a moment longer, contemplating whether to leave Lockhart behind the way he was, but decided not to argue with Severus's warning, and ran straight after Evan.

Riddle, taking notice of this, waved once with his arm and locked the gates in which they had come. 'Think you can escape me?' he sneered. 'Think running away can save you now?'

From the depths of the stone statue, Severus could see something slipping into view, and he knew that the Basilisk had been summoned.

'Sev!' Lily yelled from the other side of the room. 'Turn around and run. Nothing is going to stop that thing from coming after you!'

Remembering the steps he had taken, Severus closed his eyes and turned around with the sorting hat still in his hands. He knew spells were not going to penetrate the snake's thick skin. Even the killing curse, which he wasn't even sure could bounce of the snake or not, was something that he couldn't risk if he was unable to open his eyes. Not with Lily and Evan in the room.

Lily's hands pulled him behind a statue of a snake. 'Sev,' she whispered as she held on to his arm, 'remember Dumbledore's lessons with you in the forbidden forest. Keep your eyes closed and trust your ears.'

Leo, who was still sitting on Severus's shoulder, had hidden himself in the nape of Severus's neck and was shivering violently.

'Why did Leo bring the sorting hat?' Lily asked. 'What purpose does it serve?'

'Where's Evan?' Severus asked. 'I need to know if he's okay.'

'I'm on the other side,' said Evan. 'How can we possibly face this creature if we can't even look at it without facing death?'

In the distance Severus could hear a loud thud, and he knew that the Basilisk had come out of its cave.

He tried hard to find comfort in Lily's words. This was indeed a moment to rely on the things that Dumbledore had taught him, but he also knew that he wasn't ready in no way shape or form not to rely on his eyes.

Then, suddenly as if a light was switched on in his head, he came with an idea.

'Sev, what do we do?' Lily whimpered beside him.

'Can you two hear the Basilisk coming?' Severus said loud and clearly. 'Listen very carefully, and then listen carefully to me. I have a plan.'

'It's coming close,' said Evan. 'What's your plan?'

'We can't look directly into its eyes,' Severus said in a hurry. 'So what we need to do it blindfold it so it can no longer look at us. Do you both know the spell "obscuro?"

'Yes,' Lily and Evan said in unison.

'If the three of us do it together we might be able to cover its eyes,' said Severus, 'but we only have one shot so I'm going to count to three. On my mark, one…two...THREE!'

Turning to where the sound of the slithering Basilisk was coming from, Severus, Lily and Evan yelled "obscuro" at the same time. From the tips of their wand something that reassembled black fabric shot out and headed straight for the Basilisk's head.

'NO!' Riddle called out from the other side of the Chamber, and that was Severus's cue to open his eyes to see if his plan had worked.

And worked it had. The Basilisk was shaking its head violently, trying to rid itself of the cloth that was covering a large part of its head.

'It worked!' Severus yelled. 'Lily, where's the diary?'

Lily didn't need to answer. Severus could see it lying near Lockhart on the ground, and he hoped that Riddle wasn't whole enough to take a hold of it yet.

'This isn't over yet!' Riddle yelled. 'It may not be able to see you, but it can still smell you! – Kill them!'

'Leo,' Severus said as he took the owl off his shoulder. 'I know it's scary, but try to get the diary for us. We need to keep it safe.'

As Leo flew off the Basilisk was coming closer again, exposing its large fangs like daggers.

'Look out!' Evan yelled as the Basilisk flung its tail in their general direction.

For Severus and Lily it was too late to dive away, and were hit square in the stomach by the Basilisk's tail, causing them to be flung backwards.

Lily landed hard on the stone floor a couple feet away, but Severus got trapped underneath the snake's body, unable to move.

'Lily take the hat!' Severus yelled, but Lily was unable to move. 'Lily, say something!' he yelled in panic.

Evan started running and with a swift jump he managed to get on the other side of the snake. 'She's stirring!' Evan said as he grabbed the hat. 'What does she need it for?'

'Just give it to her, quickly,' Severus said as flashes of pain started to stab through his body. He could feel his legs being crushed under the weight of the Basilisk.

Lily was attempting to push herself up, holding on painfully to one side of her body.

'I got you the sorting hat,' Severus could hear Evan say. 'I'll put it on but I have no idea what it does.'

Severus knew that after his conversation with Dumbledore that only a true Gryffindor would be able to pull the sword out of the hat, and since Evan and him were neither, Lily was the last shot they had.

'Ouch!' Lily cried out, and Severus knew it had worked.

'Please hurry!' Severus called out. The Basilisk was hovering above him with its mouth wide open, ready to attack. This moment vaguely reminded him of the moment he was attacked by Nagini inside the Shrieking Shack. It felt like an eternity away. 'Take the sword and swing it!'

Lily crawled her way up to Severus, and Severus could see a sea of red covering his vision. 'You can do this, Lily,' he whispered to her. 'I know you can!'

With one loud cry Lily pushed herself up from the ground, swung the sword at the Basilisk, and managed to slice the side of his face, but it only made it angrier.

Severus's vision had started to grow blurry from the pain that the weight of the Basilisk was causing. He didn't need to be able to see the eyes of the Basilisk to know that it was ready to strike again.

'Do it now!' Severus cried out with the last remaining energy that he had left in his body.

Lily fell down to the ground beside Severus and held the sword up in the sky. As the Basilisk lowered its head, she stuck the sword straight through the roof of its mouth.

Severus could feel warm blood dripping onto his face, but he knew that the Basilisk was done with.

'I'm still here, Sev,' Lily said weakly. She reached out with her hand and it found the top of Severus's head.

'NO!' Riddle yelled angrily from the other side of the Chamber. 'IT CAN'T BE!'

In the distance, Severus could hear Evan still running around. The sharp sound of the sword being picked up off the floor, and the flapping of Leo's wings.

'I'm going to destroy the diary,' Evan's voice echoed through the Chamber. With a wet thud the diary was dropped to the ground, and the light that reflected on the sword meant that it was being held up high.

A sizzling sound came from the diary, and in the distance Riddle was letting out a high, piercing scream.

Severus's vision had started to cloud even further. He could feel Lily's warm hand in his hair, and his own heartbeat still beating rapidly in his chest. The last thing he saw was a blur of scarlet flying through the air.

In his mind Severus knew that Dumbledore had returned, and allowed himself to give in to the pain that was soaring through his body.

It was time to let go. And with that, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Fun fact! Nag is the Sankrit word for serpent/cobra. Nagin is the Sankrit word for female magical serpent. Now you know where the name Nagini came from. (Also, it was only fan speculation that Harry was the one to set Nagini free at the zoo. It was never confirmed by Rowling herself. Either way, Nagini did not become a horcrux until the murder of Charity Burbage so it won't be a horcrux this time around.)
> 
> A/N ^ I wrote this particular AN back in 2015. The fact that Nagini is now confirmed to be an actual woman in the Fantastic Beasts movies blows my mind away.
> 
> A/N Phoenixes are immune to the stare of a Basilisk. Other creatures are not, hence why Leo is unable to pick its eyes out like Fawkes did.


	89. A First Time for Everything

Severus could not see, but deep from within himself a light had sparked, causing him to be aware of his surroundings. He could feel that he was lying on something soft and warm, and he could hear voices talking in the distance, but the sound was too distant to be properly understood.

A sharp pain from his legs shot through his body as he grew more conscious of his surrounding. The pain didn't bother him much, as it meant that no matter how bad the damage was, at least his legs still worked.

A familiar softness was clinging to his left hand, and a memory from when he was lying in the hospital after his father had beaten him up started flooding through him. It wasn't the fact that he had been beaten up that made him feel like his mind was dragging him in a downward spiral, but it was the memory of losing his mother that night.

'Sev,' Lily whispered softly into his ear. 'Sev, are you alright?'

'No,' Severus said with a brittle voice, breathing heavily. 'I'm not alright.'

'Would you like me to get madam Pom—'

'—no,' Severus interrupted. His eyes felt sticky from the tears as he tried to open them up. 'Just stay here with me.'

Severus could hear the sound of closing curtains, and the high pitch of metal scraping over metal resonated painfully in his ears.

'Let's hope madam Pomfrey doesn't catch us,' said Lily, and she carefully crawled under the blankets with him. 'I'm not hurting you am I?'

'It's fine,' said Severus. 'It's more than fine.' He tilted his head to the side, and through the filter of tears he could see Lily with his arms wrapped around him and her face resting against his chest. 'I just had to think of mum.'

'It's only been a couple of months since she passed,' said Lily. 'It was bound to come up one way or another.'

'Only a couple of months,' Severus repeated softly. 'It feels like an eternity.' He ran his fingers over her side and felt the curvature that led to her hips. 'Have you been able to heal?'

'Madam Pomfrey had been able to patch me up instantly when we returned,' said Lily. 'Turns out I only had a few bruised up ribs. You, however…'

'I can feel my legs so I suppose that's a good thing,' said Severus as he felt his normal voice return to him.

'I know you'll be fine,' said Lily confidently. 'You've just been out cold for a few days. That's actually a good thing though, because it gave your legs time to heal.'

'And Evan?' Severus asked with a pang of guilt. The memories from going down the Chamber of Secrets came rolling in from the back of his mind. 'Is he okay?'

'Evan is perfectly fine,' Lily assured him. 'And so are Gilderoy and Leo by the way. Evan and Gilderoy both confessed everything to Dumbledore and I was there to support them.'

'Has Dumbledore said anything on what he thinks the diary might have been?' Severus asked.

'If he did, he hasn't told me,' said Lily, now supporting her head with one hand so she could look Severus in the eye. With the tips of her fingers of her free hand she touched him gently on his chest.

'You saved my life,' said Severus softly, unable to keep himself from smiling as Lily leaned in closer to him. 'Lily Evans, the Basilisk Slayer.'

'Is that what you are going to call me from now on?' Lily said with a twinkle in her eye.

'Not good enough?' Severus teased. 'How about I call you my Bathrobe Warrior then?'

Lily had to laugh out loud at Severus's comment. ' _Your_ Bathrobe Warrior? Do me a favour, Sev, and just call me Lily like you've always done.'

Severus reached out to Lily and took one of her lose hanging curls between his fingers. He saw her bite her lip and wet them with her tongue, and he was infinitely certain that if he didn't kiss her now it would take a very long time before he had the courage to try again.

Severus mentally prepared himself to lean in, but entirely unexpectedly it was Lily who leaned in first and pressed her soft lips gently onto his own. He had not seen it coming, so he lay there entirely immobilized as Lily's lips parted with his.

Lily got a wide smile on her face and Severus knew it had to be because he was looking as stupid as far as stupid went. 'You're supposed to kiss me back you, silly,' she said with a giggle.

'So I figured,' Severus said as he felt his heart pounding in his chest. 'Can we try again?'

Severus put his hand on the back of her head and gently pulled her in closer. He tilted his head slightly, and pressed his lips against hers, maybe a little more firmly than he had intended.

A small part of him was relieved that he was not the first man Lily had ever kissed, as it meant that she was able to take the lead. He could feel her tongue slowly caressing the tip of his own, and involuntarily he let out a soft moan as the blood started to flow away from his brain.

Severus never wanted to break apart again, but approaching footsteps in the distance made him chose mind over matter. 'Someone's coming,' he whispered as he pulled himself away from her. 'Quick.'

As swift as a cat, Lily tossed off the blankets and rolled off the bed. She sat down in the chair beside the bed just in time, because madam Pomfrey yanked the curtains open a second later.

'Glad to see you're awake, mister Snape,' said Pomfrey. 'Mind if I check on your vitals?'

'Please go ahead,' said Severus, still feeling the echo that Lily had left behind on his lips.

'I got to warn you, mister Snape,' said Pomfrey in a serious tone as she checked his pulse. 'There are a lot of people out there that want to come and visit you.'

'Could I see them?' Severus asked, already knowing what the answer was going to be.

'No more than two at the time,' said Pomfrey strickly ,' but you've only just woken up. I would appreciate it if you had some more rest before I let the crowd walk in.'

'Could I at least see Evan Rosier?' Severus asked. 'I think he has a lot on his mind that he wishes to share with me.'

'You do look rather sedated for someone who just woke up,' Pomfrey said as she took a final look at him. 'I'll go get him for you. But keep it short, mind you.'

As madam Pomfrey closed the curtains behind her, both Lily and Severus couldn't help but laugh. 'How come she would let you be with me but not anyone else?' he asked.

'Because on paper we are family,' Lily said happily. 'Meaning that I get these wonderful privileges that come with it – like hospital visitations.'

'Smart thinking,' said Severus proudly. 'Just out of sheer curiosity, but does the whole school know about what happened down there?'

Lily turned a bright shade of red. 'Everyone knows the Basilisk is dead,' she said through her fingers. 'The bit about the diary however, is something that Evan, Gilderoy and I all agree on when Dumbledore told us to be quiet about it. He doesn't want to raise any more panic than necessary.'

'So Evan is not going to get any recognition for what he''s done?' Severus asked.

'No I won't,' Evan's voice answered from behind the curtain. 'Mind if I join the conversation?'

'Come on in,' said Lily, and Evan pulled back the curtains far enough to reveal a bright sun shining through the windows of the hospital wing.

'Well, you look remarkably spunky for someone who's been knocked out for the past couple of days,' said Evan.

'Spunky,' Severus repeated with a snort. 'I do feel a little spunky.'

Evan sat down in a chair beside Lily and looked like he was ready to spill out an entire story. 'Before you think that I'm disappointed about not getting any recognition for jamming a sword into a diary,' Evan started off with, 'I'm actually kind of glad that I don't. The last thing I want is for people to know that a piece of the Dark Lord himself has been inside the castle all this time – that, and I don't want this type of news to reach my family.'

'And besides,' Evan added, 'you should see how people are looking at Lily. Seeing that, I'm very happy to remain somewhere on the background.'

Lily quickly hid her face with her hair. 'It's just—ugh,' Lily said 'everyone keeps staring at me and asking questions as to how I did it – it's exhausting to say the least.'

Severus reached out and wiped away the hair that was hanging in front of her eyes. 'Tell me.'

'The reason why it's so annoying is because I can only tell half the truth,' Lily added. 'I have no idea how to explain people how you found the Chamber, nor do I understand how Leo managed to bring me the sword – or even knew about it.'

'I can answer you the latter,' said Severus. 'Remember how I took Leo with me to Dumbledore after that night that I had to spend in the Gryffindor common room?'

Lily nodded, and Severus could read from her face that she remembered that night all too well.

'I saw the sword in Dumbledore's office that day,' said Severus, 'and by extend, so did Leo.'

'That still doesn't explain how it fell out of the hat though?' Lily asked.

Severus shot her a frown. 'Years and years of reading _Hogwarts: A History_ to you and yet you fail to see the connection?'

'I never bothered to read it,' Evan said dryly. 'Care to tell?'

'The Sorting Hat originally belonged to Godric Gryffindor,' Severus cited. 'He gave it up so that he, along with other founding members of Hogwarts, would have something that could sort the students into their respective houses after the founders were gone. Giving it brain and a conscious, and thus making it the only non-human thing capable of performing legilimence.'

Severus pushed himself up to a sitting position, causing his mind to go a little dizzy. 'Now the sword,' he continued as he breathed in deeply, 'also belonged to Godric Gryffindor. He enchanted it so that only someone worthy of the house of Gryffindor would be able to pull it out of the hat.'

'Well that explains why you wanted me to give the hat to Lily,' said Evan, still looking bewildered at Severus's story. 'Neither you nor I would've been able to pull the sword out of it.'

'Woah,' said Lily. 'You were being crushed to death by a Basilisk, and yet you were still able to think logically.'

'I pride myself on being able to use cool logic in times of distress,' Severus said matter-of-factly. 'And I take great pride in knowing that you are a true brave Gryffindor at heart.'

'Don't let Potter hear you say that,' Lily said with a blush. 'He's actually boasting about the fact that I stole his invisibility cloak. Like he was a part of it somehow.'

Taking Potter's spotlight felt like honeysweet revenge. 'He's not still trying to ask you out, is he?'

'What do you think?' Lily said with a wave of her hands.

'Maybe it is time for me to challenge Potter to some Muggle dueling,' Severus said with a sneer. 'Since words obviously don't mean a thing to him.'

Lily raised an eyebrow up at Severus. 'Or you could just snog me senseless in front of him?' she suggested.

'That may work even better,' Severus said with a grin. 'Maybe we—'

'—You know what,' Evan interrupted, 'I think it would be better if I left.'

'Speaking of snogging, Evan,' said Severus, 'shouldn't the mandrake juice for Emma and the other students be ready by now?'

'By Monday I've been told,' Evan said as he got up from his seat. 'Honestly, for the first time in my life I think I might be looking forward for the weekend _to end.'_

Evan looked Severus in the eye one last time before he closed the curtains behind him, and the twinkle that Severus caught was enough to understand why Evan had left.

'You look exhausted, Sev,' Lily said as she started playing with his hair. 'Maybe you should catch some sleep.'

'I will,' said Severus. 'I have no idea what time it is, but I will.'

'It's time for me to go and eat something,' Lily said as she clutched at her growling stomach. 'But before I leave though,' she said in a more serious voice, 'there's one more thing that I'd like to ask.'

'Just ask,' Severus said as he laid his head down on his pillow again, and immediately felt the dizziness starting to ebb away.

'When you were speaking with Riddle,' Lily said with some difficulty, 'and I understand that you did it to taunt him but still – why did you call me a mudblood?'

'Because you are,' Severus said as he looked her directly in the eye. 'And please let me explain myself before you run off,' he added quickly as he saw Lily's eyebrows starting to reach her hairline.

'You are not a mudblood because I deem you lesser than any other witch who isn't. You are because you were born from Muggles. Many theories circulate as to why there are people like you exist, I even have some theories of my own, which I shared with Petunia over Christmas.'

'But why can't you just call me a Muggle-born like anyone else?' Lily asked, sounding a little sad.

'Remember when we were very little and you asked me if it made a difference, being Muggle-born?' Severus said as he reached out for her hand.

Lily took his hand and held it in her own. 'I remember,' she said softly.

'Then I want you to know that I haven't been entirely honest with you,' Severus said calmly. 'I think that you are one extraordinary gifted witch, and I truly believe that you being born from Muggles does not make a difference at all, but out there, in the world beyond Hogwarts, it will make all the difference in the world.'

'I'm sorry,' Severus added as he saw Lily's eyes turning red. 'If I had known then what I know now I would've told you that this place isn't safe for people like you.'

Lily wiped away a tear that had started to fall with her free hand. 'But if it truly doesn't matter to you, why did you say it?'

'Because I believe that the Dark Lord does not understand love,' said Severus as he tried to look for the right words to say. 'But what he does understand is the desire for power, which is something that I gave up on because I would rather be with someone whom he deems lesser than himself.'

'With a mudblood,' Lily whispered to herself. 'You gave it all up to be with me?'

Severus could feel a lump starting to form in his throat. 'I gave up the protection that I have been offered, because I would rather face the dangers of this world with you than stand alone.'

Lily squeezed into Severus's hand a little tighter and wiped away another tear with her sleeve.

'I'm sorry if I hurt you by what I said,' said Severus sincerely. 'But there's one thing that I need you to understand.'

'And what would that be?' Lily asked as she tried to smile through her tears.

'Since the attacks you may have heard people use the word mudblood more often within these walls, and once we leave this place you'll definitely hear it around you all the time. So what I'm asking of you, is to not let it break you, but to fuel it into strength.'

'I understand what you mean,' Lily said as she drew in a deep breath, and allowed herself to relax. 'I can't let a word hurt me over and over again.'

'And I promise you you'll never hear me say it again,' Severus stated.

'I can accept that,' Lily said with a smile. 'I think it's time for you to get some sleep.'

'And for you to get some food,' Severus said as he heard her stomach growl again, 'because I know it'll makes you feel better.'

Lily stood up from her chair and hovered her face above Severus's, causing some of her hair to fall around him like a curtain. She leaned in to kiss him, and this time he kissed her back a little less firmly as he had the first time.

'You do make a great kisser, Sev,' Lily said happily as she stood back up straight.

'I'm relieved to hear that,' Severus said admittedly. 'I was afraid I—'

—'Only one thing though,' Lily interrupted.'

Severus's eyes grew wide in horror. 'Please don't tell me that I'm doing something wrong.'

Lily shook her head and laughed. 'No, you silly, you just really need to shave.'

Severus felt his face and noticed how rough his skin felt. 'Sorry about that.'

'I got to say,' Lily said with a nod, 'you managed to grow an impressive beard within the span of a few days.'

'Grandma Singh would've been proud,' said Severus with a chuckle. 'Maybe I should grow a moustache like Erwin.'

'Oh don't you dare,' said Lily, laughing at the thought of Severus with a moustache. 'I better go and tell everyone from the Young Order you're awake.'

'When will I see you again?' Severus asked, a little bummed out as he saw Lily pulling the curtains aside.

'Our two-way mirrors miraculously survived,' Lily said as she pointed at his bedside table. 'I hid it under a piece of parchment. I'll call your name as soon as I can.'

'Remember, Sev,' Lily added as she readied herself to close the curtain, 'I love you very much.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N "Never forget what you are; the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour, and it can never be used to hurt you." – Tyrion Lannister.


	90. On the Road to Recovery

It took several more days for Severus to recover, mainly because it took a while to get the stiffness out of his legs. Lily came around as often as she could, either to bring him his homework of the day or to help him walk around to get his legs to start working properly again.

In the meantime Severu,s had written a new letter to Erwin with Lily together, telling him about everything that had gone down in the Chamber of Secrets, and that their date has gone well to say the least. Leo, who had been overly excited to see Severus again, immediately rushed off with the letter the moment it was tied to his leg.

Severus didn't mind being in hospital for a while. Not only to recover, but also to avoid the staring and questioning that was bound to happen the moment he would be released. He had already answered to an awful lot of questioning, as everyone from the Young Order had come to visit him over the span over the past few days. It had been a tough feat to leave the diary out of the equation, but fortunately he had been able to make something up along the way of getting Moaning Myrtle's help combined with having done some side research about Salazar Slytherin. Either way, everyone who asked seemed to buy into it, and that suited him just fine.

By the time March turned into April, Pomfrey found him fit enough to leave the hospital wing, and Severus was no longer able to stretch his stay.

Lily and professor Slughorn had been kind enough to look after his potions, and most particularly the wolfsbane potion, so that Remus was able to take it once more for the upcoming full moon. 'How does it feel, being back in your own potions lab?' Lily asked, observing Severus as he was glancing over his cauldrons.

'Like I've finally been put back in my natural habitat,' Severus said with a grin. 'Also, it feels good to be here because it means that I can avoid people just a little longer.'

'I'm quite certain Dumbledore would like to speak with you as soon as possible,' Lily said as she walked up to him.

'I only just got out of hospital,' Severus said as he flung himself onto his bed. 'Can't I just spend the rest of the day in here with you?'

Lily lay down beside him, using his right arm as a pillow, and gave him a kiss on his cheek. 'I'd hate to break it to you, Sev, but I think we won't be getting to spend a lot of time together over the next few weeks.'

'And why is that?' Severus said with an obvious tone of disappointment.

'Because of our OWLs,' Lily said with a sour look on her face. 'I really need to start devoting more time to studying.'

'Have you been slacking off?' Severus asked her with a raised eyebrow.

'Just a little bit,' Lily said as she bit her lip.

Severus shook is head in disapproval. 'Just so you know, I did promise Erwin that I would kick your arse if you got sloppy with your school work.'

Lily's eyes narrowed and her lips formed into a thin line. 'Don't – you – dare,' she said, unable to suppress a snort.

'Don't dare what?' Severus teased as he turned on his side and ran his hand over her stomach.

'For you to grab my arse,' Lily whispered into his ear.

Severus took it as a sign, stopped his hand when it reached her hip, and turned her on her side, pulling her in closer.

For a moment he looked at her face, just her face, and admired the happiness that she showed as she looked at him. A thing he still found hard to grasp that he was the reason for.

Severus let the hand that he had rested on her hip slide gently over the curvature of her bum.

'I like it when you give me that look,' said Lily.

'What look?' Severus mumbled, still focused on touching her in a place that had to be the most intimate thing he had ever done with her before.

'Like you lost all blood in your brain,' said Lily, and she used her hand to pull his head closer to hers and kissed him.

A part of Severus wanted to give in entirely and make love to her right there and then, but on the other side alarm bells started to ring, and he pulled away from her.

'Not yet,' he said softy in between breaths.

Lily's face turned into a bright shade of red. 'I'm sorry Sev,' she said. 'I'm far from ready for this, it's just—'

'—just desires,' Severus said as he slid his hand away from her bum and placed it back on her hip. 'It's fine. I'm not ready either.'

'Good,' Lily said with a sigh of relief. 'But I do like it when you touch me. Please, don't stop.'

Severus was about to wrap his arms tightly around her when a knock on the door interrupted their moment. 'It's professor Slughorn,' Slughorn said from the other side. 'Mind if I come in?'

Fuck. Lily untangled herself from Severus's embrace and rolled out of bed with Severus following suit a moment after.

Professor Slughorn knocked on the door again, and Severus quickly attempted to fix his hair before opening the door. 'Good evening, professor,' Severus said as he let Slughorn into the lab. 'Anything I can help you with?'

Slughorn glanced around the room, looking at Lily first and to the bed that was standing in the corner of the room after. 'Miss Evans,' Slughorn said in a serious tone, 'would you mind if I spoke with mister Snape in private for a moment?'

'Of course not, professor,' said Lily politely. 'Sev, I'll see you again tomorrow. I should probably head back to the Gryffindor common room by now anyway.'

Lily planted a kiss on Severus's cheek, wished both him and Slughorn a good night, and headed for the grand staircase.

'I have a feeling as to why you are here,' Severus said a little grudgingly, not wanting to look the man in the eye.

'If you mean whatever is going on between you and miss Evans,' Slughorn pointed out, 'then yes, that's exactly why I'm here.'

Slughorn said down on the bed and patted the surface, indicating Severus to come and sit down beside him.

'You seem a little tense. Severus,' said Slughorn.

'I got a feeling that whatever it is you're about to tell me, it isn't good,' said Severus. He could feel that the bed was still warm where he had been lying with Lily a moment earlier, and he wanted to curse himself for not telling Slughorn to just take the chair by the desk.

'Not to worry,' Slughorn assured him. 'It's only a request.'

'And what would that be, professor?' Severus asked stiffly.

'As you know, miss Vanity along with the other students who had been petrified, are now cured,' he said. 'And she's been spending a lot of time with mister Rosier again, just like they did before.'

'Now,' Slughorn continued, 'as you know, mister Rosier had been given his own room because things were not going so well between him and your two other classmates, but I have requested him to return to the dormitory nonetheless.'

'I see where this is going,' Severus said with a sneer. 'I suppose you want me to spend the nights back in the Slytherin common room as well.'

'I'm not doing this to pester you, Severus,' said Slughorn sharply. 'This isn't just about you spending a lot of private time here with miss Evans. It's also because I don't want mister Rosier to be alone inside that dormitory.'

'What is it you're really afraid of professor?' Severus asked with a hint of frustration.

'Look Severus,' Slughorn said in a clear voice, 'us teachers cannot prevent everything that goes on between students inside this castle – this place is simply too big for that – but we can at least try to prevent accidents from happening.'

'Accidents?' Severus asked in confusion.

'Your mother had you when she was only eighteen, Severus,' said Slughorn, growing irritated. 'Must I really try to make my point any clearer to you?'

'Professor,' Severus said with great difficulty, 'Lily and I are not _sleeping_ together if that is what you're trying to prevent.'

'Severus,' said Slughorn, now with an authoritative tone to his voice, 'I'm not saying you and miss Evans have to stop working together, I'm only asking you to spend the nights inside your old dormitory again. Not just for me, but also for mister Rosier, of whom I'm positive would very much appreciate it if you were there too.'

'You're not giving much of a choice on this matter, are you?' said Severus. 'But I can understand that Evan would appreciate it if I did return to the dormitory.'

'Thank you,' Slughorn said with a sincere nod. 'Now, to talk about something else entirely, have you heard anything from Damocles lately?'

'I know his wife is going to give birth soon,' said Severus. 'So I suppose I won't hear anything from him until after that, but we did agree on meeting in London at the ministry next summer.'

'It's possible that you may have to go to London a bit sooner than that,' said Slughorn.

'Wouldn't that clash with my time to study for the OWLs, sir?'

Slughorn looked at Severus with a raised eyebrow. 'I think both you and I know very well that the last thing you need to worry about are your exams,' he said. 'You've always excelled at studying, even more than the average Ravenclaw, I might add.'

'Thank you,' said Severus, unsure how to take Slughorn's compliment.

'There's a fair chance you and Damocles may even receive an Order of Merlin,' said Slughorn proudly. 'If that's the case, I could even exempt you from your potions exam.'

'That would look neat on my grade list wouldn't it?' Severus said with a grin. 'Potions grade; O, for Order of Merlin.'

'It doesn't go much higher than that,' said Slughorn, smiling at Severus's bliss. 'You should be proud of what you have accomplished, Severus.'

'Feeling pride isnt something that comes naturally to me,' Severus admitted, 'but if I have the chance to go to London before the exams, I'll definitely go.'

'Good,' said Slughorn. 'There's one more thing that I wanted to ask before I let you go and grab your belongings.'

'And what would that be, professor?' Severus asked.

'How have you been doing lately?' Slughorn asked in a sincere voice.

'Quite alright, surprisingly,' Severus answered, knowing that Slughorn was more referring to his mother than what happened down in the Chamber of Secrets. 'But I do miss her. It'll be strange going home this summer and not return to Spinner's End.'

'I'm glad to hear you're alright,'said Slughorn as he patted Severus gently on the shoulder.

'And you, professor?' Severus asked, remembering the fact that his wife had passed away not even that long ago either.

Slughorn let out a chuckle at his question. 'I've been doing just fine,' he said as she stood up from the bed and headed for the door. 'Make sure you're back in the dormitory on time, okay?'

'I will,' said Severus, still sitting on the bed. 'And professor, please don't worry too much about Lily and I.'

Slughorn laughed as he opened the door. 'Severus, it is impossible to love, and to be wise,' and with that, he closed the door behind him.

As much as Severus dreaded moving back to the Slytherin dormitory once more, he secretly did have to agree with Slughorn statement. Not only was it better to return for Evan's sake, knowing that he wasn't much of a match against Mulciber and Avery on his own, but also because he wasn't quite sure what would happen between him and Lily if they did if they kept spending late night hours inside the lab together, even if they both had explicitly stated neither were ready for something more intimate.

Most of his belongings were still inside the dormitory anyway, so it took him only a few minutes to look after his potions, collect what he needed, and always locked the door of the lab behind him with the winged key that he still carried around with him.

Severus figured he could call Lily later on the two-way mirror, saw that Emma was spending some time with her girlfriends, and suggested Evan to play a game of wizard's chess. Together they shared a few good laughs on what Slughorn had talked about between the two of them, and figured that no longer staying inside the lab wasn't such a bad thing after all.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N "It is impossible to love and to be wise." – Francis Bacon (you know, that philosopher Slughorn named his fish after.)


	91. An Introduction to Horses

On Friday the next day, Severus had a hard time focusing during class, and was glad to be out in the open air when it was time to head to the grounds for Care of Magical Creatures.

'Are we being introduced to something dangerous this time?' Severu asked professor Kettleburn as he saw the closed off crate that was standing in the grass.

'Not today, mister Snape,' said professor Kettleburn. 'To the contrary, this one is quite afraid of humans.'

'Too bad,' said Severus. 'I was hoping for a Nundu.'

Kettleburn looked at Severus with a tilted eye. 'Slay one Basilisk and you're already thinking about handling something even more dangerous? Colour me impressed.'

'Technically it was miss Evans who slayed the Basilisk,' said Severus nonchalantly, and in the distance he could see Lily's bouncing red hair among the rest of the approaching Gryffindors. 'But a Nundu does sound exciting to work with, doesn't it?'

'It is sure is,' said Kettleburn, looking up dreamily. 'The things I'd give to see such a magnificent creature.'

Now that Severus thought of it. Throughout the years professor Kettleburn had lost a few more limbs somewhere between his time as a student and his time as a teacher, so it wouldn't be surprising if the professor had in fact gone searching for a Nundu at some point in his career.

'What creature are we going to study today, professor?' Lily asked as she took her place beside Severus.

'Something quite adorable,' said Kettelburn. He waited for all the Slytherins and Gryffindors to form a circle around the crate before he opened it. 'Consider it my introduction to something that we will be working on a lot next year.'

With a wave of his wand, professor Kettleburn opened the door of the crate, revealing a small shifty looking creature that reassembled something of a very tiny pony.

'This is a Porlock,' Kettleburn said as he looked at the small, frightened looking thing. 'They look a lot like small ponies, but as you can obviously see they stand on their hind legs, and have arms with four stubby fingers.'

'They look cute,' said Alice. 'What are their magical properties?'

'These creatures are horse guardians,' said Kettleburn. 'You can usually find them nesting in the straw of a stable or in the middle of the herd that its protecting.'

The class had to take turns to take a good look at the creature, as it was unwilling to leave the safety of its crate.

'Poor little thing,' said Lily as she sat down in the grass to draw the creature. 'But isn't it neat though, knowing we'll be working with magical horses next year?'

'it is,' Severus said genuinely. 'I hope we'll be introduced to Abraxan horses. Those creatures are impressive.'

Severus had seen Abraxan horses before, of course. That was when the triwizard tournament was reestablished and the headmistress of Beauxbatons came to visit.

'I didn't expect you to be a horse sort of person,' said Lily.

'Not really, 'said Severus as he looked up at his poor excuse of a drawing. 'But I can't deny that horses are quite majestic.'

'Like that thestral,' said Lily dryly without taking her eyes of her parchment.

Severus let out an inaudible sigh. 'Yes Lily, like that thestral.'

'I'm still curious,' Lily said as her eyes formed into a frown.

'Curious about what?' Severus asked nonchalantly, knowing damn well what Lily was aiming at.

'I still don't understand why it is you can see thestrals,' Lily said, now looking up at Severus with a suspicious glare in her eye.

'I can guarantee you that this is something that I have discussed with Dumbledore,' Severus said, getting a little annoyed.

'That doesn't make me any less curious though,' Lily said, 'can't you really—'

'—No Lily I can't,' Severus interrupted her sharply. 'Just let it go for now.'

The hurt was prominent in her eyes, causing Severus to feel guilty for the way he had snapped at her. 'I'm sorry,' he said. He reached out for her hand and to his relief, she didn't pull away. 'If you like we could go spend the evening up at the Astronomy tower like we used to do. We can talk there.'

'I'd like that,' Lily said softly, showing a smile despite the hurt.

'Then that is what we'll do,' said Severus as he let go of her hand again. 'But before that, we need to work on some potions because the demand for Calming Draughts is rising through the roof.'

Near the end of the lesson, professor Kettleburn had everyone form a circle again around the crate. 'As you now know,' he said, 'as of next year we will be working with different types of magical horses, and there's a reason for that.'

A faint twinkle in professor Kettleburn's eye appeared that Severus knew all too well from when Hagrid got excited over dangerous creatures, and had a feeling where this was going.

'Next year we've been given the chance to come and visit the MacFusty can,' Kettleburn said enthusiastically. 'The family has been looking after Hebridean Black dragons for centuries, and we've been given a once in a lifetime opportunity to tag along with them on a field day. In other words, next year we have the chance to study wild dragons.'

'So Hagrid was right!' Lily whispered to Severus, unable to contain her excitement.

'Professor,' Lily said a she stuck her hand in the air. 'So if I understand correctly, we're going to be riding horses to the Hebrides?'

'Almost correct miss Evans,' Kettleburn said, looking amused by her enthusiasm. 'We're going to be flying on horses to the Hebrides. Next year you all get assigned to work with a specific horse, and you will use the same one to fly over the Inner Hebrides.'

'Professor,' said Potter, 'where exactly will we be staying once we get there?'

'We're going to the Isle of Skye and we'll be staying in Portree,' said Kettleburn. 'From there, we will travel into the Cuillin Hills in search of a dragon that lives there.'

Once no one had any more questions to ask, it was time to head back to the castle.

'Sev,' Lily said carefully, 'I know you mentioned working on Calming Draught for this afternoon, but I really, _really,_ need to start catching up on my Transfiguration.

'Why can't you start doing that this weekend?' Severus asked her with a raised eyebrow.

Lily clearly seemed to struggle in order to give Severus the reasoning behind it. 'Professor McGonagall teamed me up with Potter for a group thing,' she said through thin lips. 'I promised him we would work on it today.'

Severus stopped walking the moment she mentioned Potter's name, and looked around to see if anyone else was around them. Lily was biting her lip and avoiding his eye, and he knew that he was looking angrier than he actually was.

'I'm not going to say that I like the thought of you spending time with Potter in some dark corner of the library,' said Severus. 'But if McGonagall put you up with him then you just do what you need to do.'

'The thing is,' Lily said almost inaudibly, 'I actually chose Potter to work with for this project because he's really good at Transfiguration and I needed help.'

'And let me guess,' Severus said sharply, 'he was more than willing to come and help you out.'

'Look Sev, I'm sorry,' Lily said as she found her voice back. 'I know you don't trust Potter one bit, but right now I need him to work with me on this assignment, alright?'

A part of Severus just wanted to get angry. He knew in his heart that at some point Lily may come to fall for Potter after all, for whatever fucking reason, marry him and have a child. Even if she was his girlfriend now, that still did not guarantee anything about the future, and that thought frightened him more than it should.

'Are you angry with me?' Lily asked, showing the same hurt look on her face she had shown only a moment ago.

'No,' Severus said quickly. 'No I'm just—never mind.'

They didn't say anything until they reached the castle, and instead of Lily following Severus to the lab, they prepared to go their separate ways.

The tension between them was sharper than a knife, and Severus decided that he would be the better man about it. He took Lily by the hand and pulled her into a tight embrace. 'I'm not angry with you,' he whispered into her ear. 'I just don't trust Potter around you.'

Lily leaned her head against his shoulder, giving in to the embrace she had been pulled into. 'I know you don't trust him,' she said. 'I'm just asking you to trust me.'

…

'It wasn't so bad,' said Lily, 'working on Transfiguration with Potter.'

Severus and Lily had ran back up the Astronomy Tower after class. The spring night sky was scattered with stars, and they were leaning against the bars of the tower, admiring the twinkling sky.

'I just don't want you to think that I want to control what you do,' Severus said as he looked down at his hands.

Severus had done some self-reflection when he was working on the Calming Draughts down in the lab. He had gotten rid of the bed that was still standing there. Not because he was afraid that it would invite to more intimate things between him and Lily, but because he had been tempted to jump into bed and scream into his pillow.

'I know you don't,' Lily said as she turned to look at him. 'Hell, I know I wouldn't be too happy either if you had to work with some girl I knew who had a thing for you.'

'Then I have some good news for you,' Severus said as he looked her in the eye. 'You're probably the only girl who has ever taken a genuine interest in me.'

'Are you saying you're bothered by that?' Lily said a little teasingly.

'Not at all,' said Severus, now smiling because of Lily's happy mood. 'And besides, why should I care when I already have the greatest girlfriend in the world.'

A blush appeared on Lily's cheeks, and Severus pushed himself away from the bar he was leaning on. He took a step behind her, wrapped his arms around her and leaned his chin on her shoulder.

'Can I confide something to you?' Severus asked her.

'Of course,' Lily said as she folded her own arms over his.

'I'm terrified of losing you,' Severus said with an unintended lump in his throat. 'I think that's why I get a little jealous sometimes.'

'Sev,' said Lily, 'are you upset?'

'No, I'm fine,' Severus said quickly as he swallowed the memories that had started to rise up in him.

'There's been something that I've wanted to ask you for a while,' said Lily, not noticing that Severus had just fought his way out of some tears.

'If it's about the thestrals that I'm afraid I just can't answer you that,' said Severus. 'At least not yet.'

'I know that I need to be patient about that,' said Lily. 'It's difficult, but as long as you keep talking with Dumbledore I know that I have nothing to worry about. It's actually something else though, that I've been meaning to ask.'

'In that case, just ask,' said Severus, using the tips of his fingers to massage her belly.

'When we talked that day you woke up in the hospital wing,' Lily said as she looked up to recall the day, 'you mentioned something about having been offered protection by you-know-who's followers.'

'I did,' Severus confirmed. 'I suppose you want to know what kind of protection that entails.'

'Yes,' Lily said with a nod. 'I'm just curious to know what it is that you said you gave up on for me.'

Severus figured that this was something he was better off to be entirely honest about. 'The protection that the Death Eaters offer is quite an impressive one,' he said. 'Most of it comes from old wizarding families that are supporters of the cause, meaning that I was offered a lot of money, a place to stay if needed be, and a place among their ranks.'

'And why did it matter so much to you?' Lily asked.

'Because I was starting to worry about my future,' Severus said, recalling the reasons as to why he had joined in the first place. 'Home wasn't exactly a place I called home, and when I started losing you out of sight I thought joining them would at least grand me a head start that I otherwise would not have been able to make.'

Lily turned around and leaned against the iron bar while Severus held on to it. 'And then you came to the realization that you were wrong about all that,' she said.

'I was wrong about all of it,' Severus said to confirm her words. 'I thought it would grand me some sort of recognition. A way to step out of the shadows, but all it did was pull me further into it.'

Lily placed her hand on his cheek, which had started to feel rough again to the touch. 'I'm proud of you, Sev,' she said genuinely. 'It takes a lot of strength to walk away from a dark path.'

If only she knew how deep those words were reaching him.

Slowly, Severus leaned in closer and kissed her lips, and after a while he even plucked up the courage to plant kisses down her neck, causing her to have goosebumps all over her body.

If Severus hadn't been so distracted by pleasing Lily, he may have heard the swooshing sound of a cloak that was heading for the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Porlock is the name of a beautiful small town in the South West of the United Kingdom and is known for its horseshows which may have sparked Rowling for the name giving, but that's purely my own assumption.  
> A/N A Nundu is a leopard like creature from East Africa and considered one of the most dangerous creatures alive. Its breath alone is toxic, filled with disease and is extremely hard to subdue. In Swahili the word "nundu" translates to "hump".  
> A/N ^this is an old AN. I can't even begin to describe how happy I am that many of these creatures are being brought to life by the Fantastic Beasts movies.


	92. The Young Order is Back in Business

For the first time in a very long time, the Young Order was finally able to hold a meeting again up in the Room of Requirement.

Frank was already bouncing on his feet at the sight of everyone approaching down the hallway.

'Would you look at that!' said Frank. 'Never thought I'd see the day to collect all four marauders here.'

'I figured it was about time to see what the fuzz was all about, Longbottom,' Black said as they shook hands.

'I'm glad to see you made up your mind,' said Frank. 'And please, just call me Frank.'

'Then please do call me Sirius,' said Sirius.

'Alright Sirius,' said Frank with a gesture to the door. 'I think your little brother is already waiting inside.'

As Sirius made his way into the Room, Frank turned to Potter, and frowned.

Severus and Lily were looking at it from a distance with amusement. 'Frank looks like he's about to give Potter an arse whooping,' she whispered to him.

'I certainly hope so,' Severus said without taking his eyes of the scene that was unfolding in front of him.

As Frank started to give Potter a full blown lecture on shoving his pride aside and taking responsibility, Severus let out a loud snort and Lily took is as a cue to drag him inside the Room.

'I was just starting to enjoy that,' said Severus with a grin etched upon his face.

'As was I,' said Lily, 'but we really should help set this place up.'

As it turned out, there wasn't much to do in order to help. Piles upon piles of stuffed feather pillows were reaching up as high as the ceiling, and already lined up against the walls.

'Did Frank plan some sort of enormous pillow fight?' Lily asked Severus as they looked down the rows of neatly stacked pillows.

'Something of the like,' Alice said from behind them. 'He figured that after such a long break, we'd better start of again by doing something fun.'

'Are we still going to continue the occlumency lessons?' Lily asked. 'It's just that I don't see Evan around here.'

That was a good question. Everyone, now including Black and Potter again, was present, but not Evan.

'You think something might've happened to him?' Lily asked with a tone of concern.

'I highly doubt that,' said Severus. 'Either he forgot, or he got distracted snogging Emma somewhere down a corridor.'

'I didn't even know they were back together,' Lily said in a tone of surprise.

'I still got to hear him out about that,' said Severus. 'No clue on how it happened either.'

As Frank and a sour looking Potter walking into the Room however, Evan followed closely behind, including Emma.

'Looks like we got ourselves a new member,' Severus said as he caught Evan's eye, and nodded in approval.

'Please everyone gather around,' Frank said as he waved at everyone to form a circle around him.

'I'm going to stand beside Black,' Severus said to Lily. 'Looks like he took the hint the last time I spoke to him about joining, so I better go talk to him.'

'I'll go stand with Emma,' Lily said as she looked up at Emma, who was shying away behind Evan. 'For all I know she must be going through hell now that the whole of Slytherin knows she's a Muggle-born.'

That thought had not occurred to Severus yet, but Lily made a fair point there. Emma may still have friends within Slytherin to talk to, but she was also put in a very dangerous position now that everyone knew she's Muggle-born.

'Welcome back everyone,' Frank said happily as everybody had taken their place within the circle. 'And also a warm welcome to our newest members. I'm sure that the people who have brought you in have also informed you about the origin of this group, and I want you to know that there's no need to worry about everything you've missed out on so far. That's something we can work on in our spare time if needed be.'

'I'm surprised to see you here,' Severus whispered to Sirius.

'Reggie convinced me to go,' Sirius whispered back. 'He said it would do me well.'

'He's right you know,' said Severus.

'Can we team up?' Sirius asked. 'There are some things that I wanted to talk to you about.'

'I figured you would,' said Severus.

'We're going to do something fun today,' Frank said to the group. 'Not without reason of course, because what I want to teach you is to be able to blast your way through anything. What I'm going to teach you is the spell "Bombarda", and we'll be using feather stuffed pillows to practice on in order to avoid hurting each other.'

On the other side of the Room Severus could see Lily had teamed up with Emma, and Lily shot him a look that he knew meant that everything was okay.

Frank had Alice hoover a pillow up in the air and demonstrated the correct wand movement, causing the pillow to burst open into a shower of feathers.

Severus casted a non-verbal accio on a pillow that was stacked up against the wall, and once he caught it he threw it up in the air, holding it up by the use of a levitation charm.

Sirius readied himself by aiming his wand up at the flying pillow, did the proper wand movement, yelled 'Bombarda!', and caused the pillow to be blown into a cloud of smoldering feathers.

'Why do I have the feeling you have some cropped up anger in you, Black?' Severus said as he shook feathers out of his hair.

'Just toss me another one,' Sirius said with a determined look on his face.

Severus levitated another pillow off the pile, and this time he made it soar through the air.

Once more, Sirius cried 'Bombarda!', and the pillow exploded right above Mary and Regulus's heads.

'It feels really good to be doing this,' Sirius said with his distinctive grin.

'I'm guessing you would like me to pass you another one?' Severus asked, amused by how determined Sirius was to destroy the pillows.

Sirius destroyed a few more pillows, each with a more powerful blast than before, and stopped when he ran out of breath.

'What is it that you wanted to talk about?' Severus asked as they took a break.

Sirius looked around as if to make sure no one was listening. 'Fleamont, you know, James's dad,' said Sirius, 'he send me a letter the other day that he's more than willing to take me in for the holidays for as long as I'm attending Hogwarts.'

'But isn't that good news?' Severus asked in surprise.

'It is,' Sirius said with a sigh. 'But—I'm worried about Reggie staying behind if I do decide not to return home.'

'I'm pretty sure your little brother is more than capable of looking after himself,' said Severus. 'Unlike you, he actually knows how to keep his head down.'

'That's going to be tough if he really starts dating Gryffindor girls,' Sirius said as he looked at his little brother tossing pillows at Mary. 'If any more pureblood Slytherins find out, our family is bound to know about it before we even return home. That's the problem with us being all related one way or another.'

'You make a fair point there,' said Severus. 'But you should also realise that if Regulus really isn't safe anymore at home, Dumbledore can always help. He did it for me and for Evan, so I'm sure he could do it again if necessary.'

'Alright,' said Sirius in a very non convinced sort of way. 'That brings me to my next question.'

Judging by the angry glare in Sirius's eye, Severus could tell there was something he was non too happy about.

'How is it that you know about my situation at home?' Sirius said in a low voice. 'Did Reggie talk to you about this?'

'It wasn't Regulus's fault,' Severus said in order to defend him. 'We're practicing occlumency here as well. Do you know—'

'—Yes I know what occlumency is,' Sirius snapped back. 'I got one of those lovely aunts who like to pull that legilimency crap on me.'

'Then you know how I found out,' said Severus. 'I didnt mean for it to happen.'

'Fleamont said in the letter that you talked about it with him,' said Sirius, now trying to avoid Severus's eyes. 'It's just—'

'—embarrassing?' Severus finished. 'Yes, I know it is. As I've told you before that night in the shrieking shack, you and I are not so different from one another.'

'Care to join us again?' Sirius asked.

'I'll think about it,' said Severus, not even remotely looking forward to the idea of having to go inside the Shrieking Shack again.

'I think Remus would appreciate it,' said Sirius, but Severus had a feeling it was also because this conversation between them was far from over.

Pillows were now flying all across the Room, and as Lily had predicted, it really did turn out into a big pillow fight.

After a while, when Frank had checked on everyone and was satisfied with the results, they all returned to the circle, still covered in feathers.

'It's been a while since we worked on Occlumency,' Frank said as he was looking in Severus's general direction. 'Emma had come up to me and asked me if we could at least demonstrate it since she has only heard about it in passing. So Severus, would you be willing to perform some legilimency on people once again?'

'I can do that,' said Severus. 'But only if anyone is willing to volunteer, unlike last time.'

'I'll go,' said Lily as she put her hand up in the air.

'Are you sure about this?' Severus said as he took his place in the center of the circle. He knew Lily wouldn't have much to hide from him, but that didn't make him any less keen on prodding inside her mind.

'I'm sure,' Lily said as she took her stance right in front of him. 'It's a good thing you already know most about me anyway.'

'Alright,' Severus said as he held his wand aimed at her head. With a non-verbal legilimence he managed to slip inside her mind.

Severus watched as he saw Lily as a little girl play with her sister at the playground where he had met her. He saw her lying on the grass by the riverbank as he read to her. He saw her dancing along to The Wizard by Black Sabbath with him…

'Lily,' Severus said stiffly as he pulled his wand away from her, 'you are supposed to force me _out_ of your mind, not keep me in.'

'But I like these memories,' Lily said as a blush appeared on her face.

'Was I in any one of them?' Potter called out with a stupid grin on his face.

Lily's blush immediately drained away from her cheeks and shot Potter an poisonous glare. 'How about you go stand here if you think it's so easy,' she said sharply.

'Alright, I will,' said Potter, but Severus could see that he wasn't as remotely as comfortable doing so as he pretended to be.

'Ready Potter?' Severus asked, not looking forward at all to see what goes on in the arrogant twat's mind.

'Just hit me,' said Potter, and Severus casted the spell on him.

Severus saw Potter spending time with his friends by the lake where Lily was standing on the other side. Of Potter sitting with Lily in the library working on Transfiguration and making her laugh about something. Severus saw himself snogging with Lily up on the Astronomy tower from a distance…

It went black before Severus's eyes, but not because Potter had managed to force him out by using Occlumency.

Slowly, Severus put his wand back in the pocket of his robe without losing eye contact with Potter. The frightened look in Potter's eye was enough to know that Severus had reached a new level of anger.

Quicker than a flash of lightning, Severus reached out, grabbed Potter by the collar with his right hand, and jammed his left fist straight into his eye. If it wasn't for Lily pulling him away from Potter, he wouldn't know how far he could've gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N "Bombarda" is used to provoke small explosions, and Hermione used it to rescue Sirius in the third movie. (In the book she used an unlocking charm.) "Bombarda maxima" was used by Umbridge in the sixth movie to blast her way into the Room of Requirement.


	93. Planning for London

'Sev,' Lily whispered. 'Sev, could you please look at me?'

After Lily had pulled Severus away from Potter, he had run out of the Room of Requirement and didn't stop until he had reached an empty abandoned classroom to lock himself in. He didn't respond to Lily's pleads on the other side of the door, so she had forced her way into the classroom.

Severus had sat down in a drafty corner of the classroom with his arms folded around his knees. Lily had sat down crossed-legged in front of him. He could feel her hand brushing up against his own, as if she was unsure whether it was safe to touch him or not.

'I shouldn't have done that,' Severus mumbled almost inaudibly against his knees.

'Can I hold you?' Lily asked.

Severus reached out to Lily with his hand as if to say that that was exactly what he wanted, and so she leaned up against the wall and wrapped her arms around him.

'Are you upset?' Lily asked as she tried to wipe some hair out of his face.

'No,' Severus said as he looked up. 'I'm just angry.'

Lily's lips formed a smile when their eyes met. 'Mum always says you can't be angry without being upset, and you can't be upset without being angry.'

'Do you really want to know what I saw?' Severus asked as he saw Lily's questionable look on her face.

'I do,' said Lily, 'because lets be fair here, it takes an awful lot for you to lose your temper like that.'

Lily made a fair point. Severus had grown so used to always being in complete control of his emotions, for him to have such a blinded outburst of rage must have been a frightening sight.

'Potter's a creep,' Severus sneered.

'Tell me something new,' Lily said with a look of amusement. 'Anything specific he's being a creep about?'

'Spying on us,' Severus said sourly. 'On you, in particular. He was hiding under his invisibility cloak when we were snogging on top of the Astronomy tower.'

Lily's look of amusement turned into one of complete disgust. 'And did you make sure you hit him square in the eye?' she asked.

'Are you asking me if I hit him hard enough?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow. 'How unlike you.'

'Well,' Lily said with pursed lips, 'he did ask you to hit him before you casted the spell on him, didn't he?'

Severus couldn't help but snort at Lily's comment. 'He did say that.'

'Are you feeling a bit better?' Lily asked as she took a good look at him.

'Much better,' said Severus, and planted a kiss on her cheek. 'Thank you.'

A faint knocking on the door of the classroom had them both look up. 'Severus, are you in there?' Franks voice called out from the other side. 'If it matters, I'm alone.'

Lily shot Severus a small nod to indicate that it was okay to let Frank in.

'Just come on in,' Severus called out.

'Mind if I join your corner over there?' Frank asked as he closed the door behind him.

Frank sat down on the floor in front of them. 'Are you doing alright, Severus?' Frank asked as he looked around the dusty looking classroom. 'It's not the first time you've run off during a meeting.'

'I'm alright, and don't worry,' said Severus. 'I don't plan on making it a habit to run off.'

'Anything that I can do for you?' Frank asked.

Severus couldn't help but smile a little at the sincerity in which Frank always seemed to care for people. 'No I'm good, but thank you,' he said. 'Is Potter still crying?'

'Nah,' said Frank. 'They took him to the hospital wing for some bruise salve or whatever. But I got to say, Severus, you really know how to punch a mean one.'

'Not exactly a thing I'd praise,' said Severus, 'but secretly it grants me some satisfaction knowing that he's suffering.'

'Severus I uhm,' Frank said with difficulty, 'I came here looking for you because Dumbledore wishes to speak with you.'

'How come?' Severus asked. 'I wasn't supposed to meet him until tomorrow.'

'Dumbledore doesn' strike me as a man you want to argue with,' said Frank. ' I don't think it's about James, though. I think it was more about something along the lines of that potion you invented.'

Severus nodded in understanding and used the wall in order to push himself up from the ground. 'Then I better go and see him.' He pulled out the silver winged key from the lab and handed it over to Lily. 'Will I meet you in the lab later?'

'I'll be there,' said Lily as she smiled up at him. 'Good luck.'

Severus left Lily and Frank behind in the classroom, and was sure that they would stay there for a while to talk about what happened, but he couldn't be bothered with that now.

As always, Dumbledore had already prepared some tea by the time Severus sat down in the usual chair at his desk, only this time Remus was filling the spot in the chair beside it.

'I heard you got into a bit of a fight,' Dumbledore said as he poured and handed some tea to Severus.

'I see news travels fast,' Severus said as he glared at Remus. 'I'm not in trouble for it, am I?'

'As your headmaster, I am not in the position to make any decisions regarding that,' said Dumbledore. 'That is something that lies in the hands of your respective head of house, and besides, I have got more important manners to discuss with the both of you.'

Dumbledore looked at Remus as if to say he was the one who could share the news with Severus.

'If we want, we can go to London by next month,' Remus said happily.

'Have you heard anything from Damocles about this?' Severus asked Dumbledore.

'I have indeed,' said Dumbledore as he held up a letter that had been lying on his desk. 'Some of the potioneers that you have met at professor Slughorn's party will be present that weekend at the ministry. I think it is a great opportunity for you, and by extend mister Lupin, to bring that potion on the market as soon as possible.'

'Seems like a plan to me,' said Severus as he looked at an excited looking Remus. 'When exactly can we expect to leave?'

'First weekend of May,' said Dumbledore, 'though I suspect you may need more time than the weekend permits.'

'We get to skip class?' Remus asked, perhaps a little bit too enthusiastically, causing Dumbledore to chuckle.

'Only if the both of you can promise me that you will continue to study hard for your exams,' Dumbledore said as he peeked over his half-moon glasses. 'We shall discuss further details on this when the time comes.'

Remus took it as a sign that it was time to leave. 'Thank you headmaster,' said Remus, 'and for the tea. I'll wait for you outside Severus.'

With a pad on Severus's shoulder, Remus left the office and closed the door behind him.

'Do you still wish to see me tomorrow, sir?' Severus asked.

'I figured that after everything that went down in the Chamber of Secrets you may wanted a break from all the therapy,' said Dumbledore. 'Blindfolding the Basilisk...I'm still amazed at how you, miss Evans and mister Rosier managed to make it out alive.'

'I don't think we would have if it wasn't for Leo bringing us the sorting hat,' Severus said as he saw the old hat in its usual place on the shelves.

'That little owl still flies into my office once in a while,' Dumbledore said with a smile. 'Him and Fawkes like to chat from time to time.'

'I was not aware he did that,' said Severus as he drained his tea. 'Do you still have the sword?'

Dumbledore nodded in confirmation. 'Gryffindor's sword is safely stored inside the hat again, where it belongs.'

'And the diary?' Severus asked. 'Have you kept it?'

From a drawer of his desk, Dumbledore pulled out the damaged diary. 'Mister Rosier and mister Lockhart confessed everything to me a while ago,' he said. 'The sword damaged it beyond repair, but I suppose that is more of a good thing rather than a bad thing.'

'Do you have any idea what that diary could've been?' Severus asked.

'The diary is as much a mystery to me as its maker,' said Dumbledore, a little sadly. 'Of course, if I find out anything more about it you will be the first to know.'

Severus nodded along in agreement. 'I promised miss Evans that I would come and help her brew some potions,' he said as he stood up. 'What do you suggest we do from now on?'

'I suggest you come to me if you ever need me,' said Dumbledore. 'Or I will come to you if I need you.'

Remus was still waiting for Severus once he came down the spiral staircase.

'I suppose you want to talk about what I did to Potter,' Severus said as he saw Remus look at him with a tilted eye.

'As much as I appreciate James as my friend,' said Remus, 'I would not be surprised if you had a good reason for it.'

Together they started walking their way down the corridor towards the grand staircase.

'I need him to stop creeping up on Lily,' Severus said bitterly. 'In his memories I saw that he had been spying on me and her, and the next time that happens it will result in more than just a black eye.'

'I can't argue with that,' said Remus as he ran his hands through his hair. 'Did Sirius ask you to join us for the next full moon?'

'He did,' Severus confirmed. 'I got a feeling that there are some things that he wants to talk to me about in private, but I'm not so sure if I want to go down the Shrieking Shack again.'

Remus looked up at Severus with pleading eyes. 'I understand that going down there again must be difficult for you, but I would really appreciate it if you were with me again this time.'

'Are you saying you're afraid to transform in front of your friends?' Severus asked curiously.

'Well, before the wolfsbane potion I was never quite aware of being a werewolf,' said Remus, 'and now that I'm aware, I'm still sort of freaked out by it.'

'I'll think about it,' Severus said as they stopped on the first floor. 'Remus, could you do me a favour?'

'Of course,' Remus said as he faced the general direction of the hospital wing.

'I'm asking you this not because you are friends with Potter, but because you are also a prefect,' Severus said sharply. 'Please, have Potter get rid of that invisibility cloak of his. If I find him sneaking up and me and Lily again and I manage to get my hands on that thing, I will not hesitate to set it on fire. I'm tired of him knowing where I am all the time.'

Remus opened his mouth as if he wanted to argue what Severus had just said, but decided against it and closed his mouth again. 'I'll see what I can do, but I cant promise you that he'll get rid of it, and besides,' he added as he fiddled with his sleeve, 'we kind of use that cloak to sneak out of the school during full moon.'

Severus shot Remus a look of disproval. 'Last time I went down into that hellhole with you I just walked out of the school without any trouble,' he said. 'Perhaps you see more danger is places where there isn't any.'

Remus nodded in understanding. 'I better go check on James,' he said. 'I'll see you around.'

Severus was fed up with this day\ and felt himself unwind as he saw Lily sitting on the floor of their lab with Leo perched on her shoulder.

'Come here, Sev,' Lily said as she motioned with her hand for him to come and sit beside her. 'The giant squid just came by to say hello.'

Severus sat down beside Lily and petted Leo gently on the head. He broke into a story on everything he had just discussed with Dumbledore and Remus. Lily looked and listed to him the entire time he talked, nodding along with everything he had to say.

It was a thing Severus loved so much about Lily. She never failed to make him feel that his voice mattered.


	94. We Named him Bronwyn

Against Severus's expectations, Potter did show up again during the next Young Order meeting. Potter did, however, avoid Severus at all costs, causing Severus to try and stand as close to him as possible at any given chance just to see Potter jump a little and clutch for his eye. It seemed to make Lily laugh, and that was more than worth it.

It seemed as if the Gryffindor table was slowly being taken over by Slytherins. Aside from Severus, Evan, and Regulus, Emma was now also sitting with them occasionally, dividing her time between her friends in Slytherin and her new friends from the Young Order.

On the day of the next full moon during breakfast, Leo had returned with two more owls following closely behind him. One was bringing Severus the Daily Prophet as usual, and the other was carrying a card.

'How sweet!' Lily said in delight after Severus handed her the card. 'Remus, come take a look at this.'

'Damocles has a son,' Remus said as he mirrored Lily's same look of delight on his face. 'Bronwyn Belby, born April sixth, nineteen seventy six, and perfectly healthy.'

It was obvious that the perfectly healthy part was emphasized because of Catriona's lycanthropy. 'You think Catriona and the baby will come down to London as well, Severus?' Remus asked.

Severus held up his hands to indicate that he didn't have a clue.

'This is so wonderful,' said Lily, still looking gleeful. 'Wish I had a chance to meet him. I love babies.'

At the mention of babies, Severus tried to avoid Lily's gaze by staring into his bowl of soup.

'Who had a baby?' Severus heard Alice say to Lily.

'Damocles Belby,' said Lily, probably handing over the card that Damocles had sent to Alice. 'The man Severus worked on that potion with, remember?'

'Ohh this is so cute!' Alice squealed. 'Frank, can I have one?'

Frank, who had been sitting beside Severus, dropped his toast onto his lap. 'Can you not?' he said in a high pitched voice.

'I'm just kidding sweetheart,' said Alice, not sounding all too reassuringly. 'But who knows, maybe someday.'

'I know I would like them,' said Lily. 'At least one, maybe two. What do you think, Sev?'

'Can we not talk about this?' Severus snapped with more bitterness than he had intended, because the whole group fell quiet after his statement.

Severus quickly looked up at Lily to make sure he hadn't upset her, and was relieved to see that her eyes were still dry. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude.'

'It's okay,' Lily said in a timid voice. 'We can talk about this later if you prefer.'

'I would prefer that,' Severus confirmed as he caught Remus's eye from across the table. Remus, looking horrid as ever on a day of the full moon, nodded at Severus because he knew something that Lily didn't. It was a thing they had talked about before when they were visiting Damocles in Edinburgh, and Severus knew it was a thing he couldn't hide from Lily forever.

'I think Leo wants your attention,' Lily said as he pointed at the furious looking owl.

'Come here little buddy,' Severus said as sweetly as his voice allowed to the little owl, but Leo shot him a glare that would make Lily proud. 'Please don't make my day worse than it already is.'

'Sev, are you sure you're doing okay?' Lily asked with her voice hovering somewhere between concern and suspicion.

'I just haven't slept well,' Severus lied. He wasn't sure what had gotten into him, but a feeling of frustration that he couldn't quite place started to overwhelm him from the inside.

In the meantime, Leo had managed to untie the letter from his paw by himself and had flown off. As the bell rang, Severus had pocketed the letter, and somewhere subconsciously he had decided that he was just going to skip the day.

'Sev?' Lily called out to him as he headed for the dungeons instead of the grand staircase. 'We have Defense Against the Dark Arts together first hour, remember?'

All Severus could do was shake his head. 'I'm not going,' he said weakly. 'I just want to go back to bed.'

Without taking another glance at Lily, Severus turned around on the balls of his feet and headed for the dungeon corridor. Instead of going back to bed like he said he would, he entered the lab and slammed the door behind him.

He wanted to jump into the bed, only to remember that the bed was no longer there, and realised that his hands had been balled into fists the entire time when he reached out for his wand.

With great difficulty, he managed to conjure up a mattress and a pillow, kicked his shoes off and let himself fall onto it with his face down into the pillow.

He knew what was frightening him. At the Gryffindor table he had just witnessed the one thing that he didn't know how to handle, and that was living a normal, domesticated sort of life. The kind of life he knew Lily would strive for at some point. She had a son at the very young age of twenty after all, and the very thought of raising children only a few years down the line made him want to curl up into a ball and disappear.

He must have fallen asleep at some point, because a voice was whispering in his ear to wake him. 'Sev,' Lily said softly, 'Sev are you doing alright?'

When Severus opened his eyes, he saw that Lily was kneeling down on the floor beside him. 'I'm alright,' he mumbled back. He could feel her hand reach out for him and felt himself release some stress as she ran her fingers through his hair.

'You're not getting sick again are you?' Lily asked.

'No, I'm not,' said Severus. 'I just needed to be alone for a moment.'

'Would you like me to leave you alone for a bit longer?' Lily asked. 'It's perfectly okay if you want to.'

Severus took a hold of her hand to make her understand that he didn't want her to leave. 'I'm sorry I was such an arse to you this morning.'

'Is that really still bothering you?' Lily asked with a frown.

'It is,' Severus said with a hint of embarrassment. From somewhere deep within himself he gathered up the courage to say out loud what had been bothering him. 'It's just—, it's just that the very thought of ever having my own family terrifies me.'

Severus could only describe the look on Lily's face as a look of compassion, rather than pity. Once more, he couldn't help but feel grateful for Lily's ability to listen carefully and take his words seriously.

'And what is it about having a family that terrifies you so much?' Lily asked.

'I think it's the unknown,' said Severus. 'The very thought that—' a lump had started to form in his throat. 'I just can't comprehend the thought of ever having children of my own.'

Severus felt a silent tear fall from his eye, and quickly he wiped it away with the sleeve of his robe.

Lily motioned at Severus to sit straight up so she could sit down on the mattress, and had him rest his head on her lap. 'Can you tell me why it's hurting you so much?' she asked him as their looked each other in the eye.

'I'm just not cut out to be a father,' Severus said weakly.

'Don't lie to me, Severus,' Lily said calm but firmly. 'I can tell when there's a lot more going on inside your mind.'

'Fine,' Severus said irritably, 'I'm terrified of the idea of living a domesticated kind of life and I am terrified of the idea that my own children would have to deal with a father like me.'

Severus didn't bother to wipe away his tears this time. 'I'm afraid to be a father because I don't know how to be one.'

Lily kissed him on the forehead and smiled. 'What amazes me most Sev, is that you seem so thoroughly convinced that you are going to be a father despite your fear of being one.'

'It's because I know how much it means to you,' said Severus. 'I know you want to have children later. I've always known that.'

'Well yes,' said Lily, 'I do, but who said that I want to have them right after we graduate? This is something that we don't have to think about, what—another decade down the line at least? And there's a war out there. Surely the last thing we want do to is put children in the middle of that.'

There were at least a dozen thoughts flashing through Severus's mind when Lily said those words. All of whom he wished he could use as an argument against everything she just said, but what all those thoughts came down to is that he wondered why on earth she ever made the choice to have a child in the middle of a war after all.

'What I'm trying to say is, Sev,' Lily continued, 'is that the very thought of having children shouldn't even be on our minds right now. We're only sixteen and we haven't even had sex yet.' A blush appeared on her face at the mention of sex.

Severus placed his hand around the back of her neck, gently pulled her in closer and kissed her on the lips.

'I know you probably won't accept this from me,' Lily said softly as she held her face close to his, 'but know that if I ever reach that point where I am ready to have children, I want them to be yours too. And I know for a fact, that you would make a wonderful father.'

'What makes you say that?' Severus asked curiously.

A shadow fell over Lily's eyes at Severus's question. 'It's because you know exactly what not to do.'

A silence fell between them after Lily's statement. Severus could understand her reasoning, and it was true that the very thought of having children shouldn't even be on their minds at this point in their lives, but that didn't stop him from feeling torn up about it. On one hand he was convinced that he was never meant to be a father, and on the other hand he didn't want to disappoint Lily by not granting her one of her own biggest wishes.

'Shall we discuss something else?' Severus asked carefully.

That seemed to make Lily smile again, and Severus knew that it was a good decision to drop the heavy load of their conversation.

'Remus wanted me to ask you something,' Lily said.

'I bet he still wants to know whether I'm joining him to the Shrieking Shack tonight,' said Severus.

'Yes,' Lily confirmed, 'and to be honest, I do think it would be a good idea if you went down there with him.'

'I've been torn up about it,' Severus said admittedly. 'I'm more than willing to help Remus through his transformations, but the prospect of having to deal with Potter for an entire night again—'

'—Please, do it for Remus,' said Lily. 'You know he's still not comfortable being conscious inside a werewolf body, and you are probably the only one that understands at least a little bit on what's going on inside of him.'

'But Potter,' Severus said with a whiny voice. 'I just don't want to deal with Potter.'

'Your friends are more important than your enemies, Sev,' Lily said as she shot him a tilted eye.

'You're right,' Severus said as he gave in. 'I'll do it for Remus, but I don't want to make it a habit of going down there with them during every full moon.'

'I don't think Remus will expect that of you,' said Lily. 'But you're being a good friend for doing this for him.'

'Who would've thought I would ever end up forming some sort of a friendship with a marauder,' Severus said with a grin on his face.

'Sometimes you are quite the mystery to me, Sev,' said Lily, 'but I also like that about you.'

'Wasn't it lunchtime when you came in here?' Severus asked.

'It was,' said Lily, 'and I'm sure our afternoon classes must have started by now.'

'Skipping class are we?' Severus asked as he saw Lily's mischievous twinkle in her eye.

'Look who's talking!' Lily said laughed. 'I kind of like the idea of skipping class for once.'

'If we get caught we better make sure we serve detention together,' said Severus, and then a sudden thought occurred to him. 'Oh no,' he whispered, and ran his fingers through his hair.

'Is something wrong?' Lily asked with a tone of surprise at Severus's sudden change of mood.

'Something about professor Slughorn,' Severus said wide-eyed, 'and _lectures.'_

Lily burst out in laughter. 'We're screwed, aren't we?'

Severus couldn't help but laugh along with Lily's infectious laughter. 'Yes we are.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The full moon of April 1976 fell on Wednesday the 14th


	95. Staring at the Moon on Top of a Fence

'I'm so glad you're here, Severus,' Remus said weakly as he covered himself up with the raggedy blankets of the bed inside the Shrieking Shack.

'It's no problem,' said Severus, 'just don't expect me to be doing this every month.'

'I don't,' Remus said with great difficulty, 'It's just—' Remus was unable to talk any further. The horrific sound of cracking bones started to fill the room, causing Remus to howl and whimper in pain.

Although it was a terrible sight to behold, Severus was unable to look away from the transformation that turned his friend into a werewolf.

The remaining three Marauders were standing behind Severus. They were obviously more used to Remus's transformations, as they didn't even flinch at the sight of it.

No sound was coming from underneath the blankets, and Severus pulled out his wand just to be sure.

'You doing alright there Moony?' Potter called out.

'I'm alright,' Remus said in a whimpering voice.

Severus was relieved that the potion Lily had to finish had been a success. 'Are you sure?' he asked carefully.

'Well I can't lie, can I?' Remus said as he poked his werewolf head out, and jumped off the bed.

Quickly Severus put his wand back in his pocket, not wanting to appear hostile towards Remus.

'How do I look?' Remus asked.

'Frightening as always,' Sirius said nonchalantly. 'Any idea on what we could do to pull an all-nighter?'

'There's a full crate of butterbeer left,' said Peter. 'We could just pop a few and talk.'

'If you think I came here only to get drunk again, you are mistaken,' Severus said dryly.

'No one's forcing you to drink, Snape,' said Sirius. 'But perhaps just sitting and talking would be a good idea.'

Sirius looked Severus in the eye, and Severus knew he was hinting at what they had discussed before during a meeting with the Young Order two weeks prior.

Potter turned around and headed for the living area, as if to say it was a waste of time to discuss any other options to make it through the night.

By the time Severus and Remus had sat down on the couch, Potter had already chucked down half a bottle of butterbeer.

'Got something on your mind, Potter?' Severus asked stiffly as he looked at Potter's fumbling hands, 'or is my mere presence causing you to be so fidgety?'

'There are many things that I would like to say to you,' Potter said with an angry glare in his eyes, 'but I can't. I just can't.'

'Either you start telling me now,' Severus said as clearly as he could, 'or I won't hesitate to slip some Veritaserum into your morning tea when you least expect it.'

'Knowing Severus,' Remus said without taking his werewolf eyes of Potter, 'that was not an idle threat.'

'Oh I know he doesn't do idle threats alright,' Potter said as he took another swig from his butterbeer.

'A part of me doesn't want to interfere with this,' said Peter out of the blue as he popped a butterbeer for himself, 'but James is conflicted about the whole situation between the two of you.'

'That doesn't come as a surprise,' said Severus calmly. 'Then again, I did damage his pride along with his eye.'

James mumbled something indistinguishable under his breath.

'Oh come on Prongs,' Remus growled . 'Just admit that you were in the wrong.'

'Alright, fine!' Potter said sharply. 'I shouldn't have followed you and Evans up the Astronomy tower.'

'You know what bothers me the most, Potter?' Severus spat, 'It isn't the fact that you have been spying on Lily and I, but the fact that your entire mind seems to be filled with her presence, like a sick obsession.'

'I bet if I were to look inside your mind it would be filled with Evans too,' Potter spat back. 'How is your mind any different from what you saw in mine?'

For a moment, Severus contemplated on what to say, but he knew he had waited too long. 'Yes, my mind is filled with her,' he said as he lowered his voice. 'Always has been. Always will be.'

'How about you two take it outside?' Peter said with a look of disapproval.

'Don't worry about that, 'said Severus as he stood up from the couch. 'I'll go see myself out.'

Without looking back Severus made his way out of the Shack. In his mind he kept wondering over and over again why he had even bothered to join them again. Remus seemed to be doing just fine without him.

'Severus, please wait,' Remus called out from behind him as he made his way out of the door.

'Why did you even want me to be here?' Severus snapped at him. 'Because if you believe that Potter and I could actually talk and sort things through, you are mistaken.'

'I was hoping you would,' Remus said as calmly as he could.

Once they reached the fence that surrounded the Shack, Severus hoisted himself up and sat down on the wooden bars of the fence. 'When was the last time you've seen the actual full moon, Remus?' he asked as he looked up at the night sky.

Remus sat down on his hind legs in front of Severus and looked up at the gleaming moon. 'I don't recall ever seeing it like this,' he said quietly.

'Does it still frighten you?' asked Severus, observing Remus as he saw the werewolf looking mesmerized at the moon.

'Not as much as it used to,' said Remus. 'It's quite beautiful, isn't it?'

'It is,' said Severus as he looked up at the moon again.

'Can I ask you something very personal, Severus?' Remus asked carefully.

'Just ask,' said Severus. 'Unlike you I can always decide not to answer.'

'Why does it seem as if you prefer to walk away from confrontations?' Remus asked.

'What do you mean?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Well,' Remus started off, 'I've seen you walk out of the Room of Requirement twice now because you were confronted with something, and you walked away after you had that confrontation with Lily about having a family, and now you walked away again because James is being an arse—'

'—I get your point,' Severus cut him off. 'And yes, there are things that I find difficult to deal with and so I walk away in order to clear my head.'

'Have you been able to talk to Lily?' Remus asked. 'About, you know…'

'We did,' Severus said reassuringly. 'This whole family issue weighs more heavily on me than I initially thought it would.'

'Mind if I join you two?' Sirius's voice called out from behind them.

Severus and Remus looked around to see Sirius approaching the gate, all wrapped up in his cloak to protect himself against the cold spring air.

'There's more than enough room on this fence,' said Severus.

'Thanks,' said Sirius, and sat down beside Severus.

'I still haven't been able to properly thank you for what you've done for me,' Sirius said as he turned to Severus.

'Done what?' Severus asked.

'For convincing Fleamont for me to come and live with the Potters during the school breaks,' said Sirius. 'He told me all about your conversation with him in a letter.'

'I didn't even say that much to him,' Severus said as he tried to shake off the unexpected compliment. 'All I did was compare your situation to my own.'

'Why did you do it?' Sirius asked in a timid voice. 'I just don't understand—'

'—Because as much mutual hostility that has grown among all of us over the past years,' said Severus, 'I won't be able to live with the idea of knowing that any of you have been put through the same thing as I have been put through. That is something that I can't wish upon my biggest enemies.'

'Then you are a better man than I ever will be,' said Sirius. 'But thank you, for what you have done for me.'

Severus didn't quite know what to say to that, and so he decided not to say anything at all.

'It's a bit bizarre, isn't it,' said Remus to break the silence. 'Sitting here outside in the middle of the night, looking up at a full moon with a talking werewolf.'

'So romantic,' Severus said sarcastically, and caused Sirius to let out his distinctive barking laugh.

'There is something very peaceful about it though,' said Sirius. 'It's as if I can just forget about everything for a moment. School, family, this war…'

Severus could tell by the footsteps behind him that Peter and Potter had shown up, and turned around.

'Severus,' Peter said with a hand held on Potter's shouder, 'Prongs here really does want to speak with you on a mature level, if that's possible.'

In Severus's opinion, Potter looked anything but ready to strike a "mature" kind of conversation. 'What it is you want to say, Potter?' Severus said as he looked down at him.

'It's just—' Potter started off with a look of defeat, 'It's just that you seem to think that I'm very superficial when it comes to Evans, but really all it is, is that I'm just as much in love with her as you are.'

'Why don't you two join us on the fence?' Severus asked.

With a final reassuring pat from Peter, Potter sat down on the fence on Severus's other side.

'It feels as if I lost something that could've been great,' Potter added. 'Not that Evans and I have ever been a thing, but still…'

The worst thing about Potter's confession is that Severus knew somewhere deep down inside that, despite Potter's desperate attempts at wowing Lily, he probably had been a good husband to her. Or even worse, Potter probably did know how to be a good father to the child they've had, which was something Severus was unable to say about himself.

'Potter, some day you will meet someone,' said Severus, 'and she will be able to make you feel exactly the same way Lily can make you feel.'

'How can you be so sure of that?' Potter asked.

'I can't,' Severus admitted. 'But what makes you think that Lily is the only one for you, when there are so many people out there who you haven't even met yet?'

'You make a fair point, Snape,' said Potter. 'It's just going to take some time for me to get over Evans. I really, really do like her.'

'What was that?' Peter said as he looked around. 'I heard some rustling in the grass.'

'I heard it too,' Remus said with his ears pointing up sharply. 'And I think I smell something as well. Padfoot, can you turn into a dog and see if you can place it?'

Had someone been following them? Severus tried to see through the dark, but the moonlight only caused more things to be clad in shadows.

Sirius was now sniffling the ground along with Remus, trying to place the scent they had picked up.

Severus jumped off the fence, pulled out his wand and started running after Remus and Sirius the moment they picked up the trail.

The trail led them to a cluster of trees a little further down the path, and a faint whimpering noise came from the shadows.

'Who's there?' said Severus sharply as Remus and Sirius walked ahead of him, growling at the trees. 'Show yourself!'

'Severus,' the whimpering voice said, 'is that you?'

'Evan?' Severus called out in shock and lowered his wand. 'What brings you out here?'

Evan appeared from behind a tree with his hands up in the air and blood running out of his nose. 'I've been searching all over for you,' he said weakly. 'Please, help.'


	96. To be a Werewolf for the World to See

Evan was standing firmly rooted to the spot, shaking violently. 'What are these dogs?' he said in an almost inaudible whisper.

'Did you hear me speak to anyone?' Severus asked firmly. To find Evan hiding out near the Shrieking Shack in the middle of the night was still something that he was trying to wrap his mind around.

'I did,' Evan whimpered. 'At least I thought I saw you here with Remus, Sirius and those other two.'

'And what brings you here?' Severus asked, not entirely trusting the situation.

'I came looking for you and—could that dogs please stop growling,' Evan said as he flinched at the sight of bared teeth.

Remus and Sirius stopped growling at Evan's request, but remained staring firmly into his eyes.

'Why did you come looking for me?' Severus asked.

'You weren't in the dormitory,' Evan said hastily without taking his eyes of Remus and Sirius, 'and I got into a quarrel with Mulciber and Avery so I walked off and then I saw you leave the castle with the Marauders.'

'Why didn't you go to professor Slughorn for help?' Severus snapped at him.

'And what good would that do?' said Evan, looking at Severus as if he couldn't believe that he was being angry with him. 'It's not as if they're being kicked out of school—and, and I just got curious.'

'How much did you see?' Severus asked as he raised his voice.

'I just saw you all disappear somewhere on the grounds and so I just went for a walk because I didn't want to go back,' said Evan. 'Honestly, I didn't expect to find you here with—this.'

'You just went out—for a walk,' Severus said as his face turned sour. 'Even though you know perfectly well how dangerous it is to come out here on your own.'

'Not my brightest moment,' said Evan as he squinted with his eyes. 'I'm sorry, alright? It's just—what are these dogs?'

'What's going on over here?' Potter called out from behind them. 'Is someone there?'

Peter and Potter had come walking up to the trees. 'What the hell are you doing here, Rosier?' Potter said angrily as he caught sight of Evan.

'Nothing that concerns you, Potter,' Rosier snapped back. 'What is it you're all doing out here anyway?'

There was nothing about the situation that allowed Severus to come up with a lie. 'There will come a day,' Severus said in Remus's direction, 'that your secret will be exposed. Perhaps now would be a good time to start if you want to take those matters into your own hands.'

It wasn't Remus, but Sirius who took the plunge, and transformed himself back into his human form.

Evan involuntarily took a step backwards and grew wide-eyed at the sight of it. 'Fuck,' was all he was able to mumble. 'You're an animagus?'

'And so are James and Peter,' Sirius said as he pointed behind him, 'but not Remus.'

Evan's eyes shifted from Sirius to the enormous dog that was still standing in front of him. 'Are you saying, that's Remus?'

'I am,' said Remus, and Evan nearly tripped over his own feet this time.

'You're not a dog, are you?' Evan whispered as he held himself up by holding on to a tree.

Remus shook his head, and as far as his werewolf face allowed, he looked rather sad at how Evan was responding to him. 'I'm a werewolf,' he said, 'and we come out here during every full moon to keep me away from the castle.'

Evan looked horror struck as soon as Remus had exposed his secret, but the shock quickly turned into curiosity. 'You can talk?' Evan asked with a frown. 'Why is it you can talk?'

'No questions at all as to why I'm not biting your head off?' Remus said in surprise. 'Colour me impressed.'

Sirius was standing with his arms folded. 'This is where Severus comes in,' he said as he nodded in Severus's direction.

'It's that potion you made' isn't it?' said Evan, now observing Remus with a look of amazement. 'This is what you've been working on with that Belby bloke, and you actually did it.'

'Now that you know,' said, Severus, growing impatient, 'could you do Remus and everyone else here a favour by not speaking of this to anyone, ever, or I will be forced to obliviate you.'

'Look, I'm sorry okay,' Evan said while finding the strength back in his voice. 'I didn't mean to find out.'

'You still tried to follow us,' said Potter, obviously not convinced of Evan's innocence. 'Why would you even do that?'

'Would you be curious if your friend ran off all of a sudden with people that he used to hate?' Evan said sharply. 'It seemed fishy to me.'

Potter didn't seem to know how to respond to that, so he remained silent.

'Care to join us on the fence?' Peter suggested. 'I mean, telling you to go back to the castle now and pretend nothing happened would just be a stupid move.'

'If that's okay with—'

'—Just come,' Severus said sharply. He turned around and made his way back to the fence, not looking back to see if anyone bothered to follow. A part of him knew Remus's secret couldn't remain a secret forever. Especially since he was coming with to London by next month, and his presence alone was bound to raise some questions.

As Severus sat down and balanced himself on the fence, the rest of the group did seem to have followed closely behind. Evan sat down beside Severus, and Peter handed him a handkerchief he had conjured up for him.

'Is your nose broken by any chance, Evan?' Peter asked.

Carefully Evan touched his nose. 'Doesn't feel like it,' he said. 'It probably looks worse than it seems. Thanks though.'

'What exactly was the quarrel you had with Mulciber and Avery about?' Severus asked.

Evan's face turned bitter at the memory of it. 'About Emma,' he said. 'How she doesn't deserve to be in Slytherin, being a Mudblood and all that.'

'Hey don't use that word,' Potter scowled.

'It's what they said,' said Evan, ignoring Potter's statement. 'Either way, I think she's the greatest witch there is.'

'Girls are definitely worth getting into a Muggle duel for,' said Severus, trying to toss some more oil onto the fire.

'What's the point of Muggle dueling anyway?' Potter asked. 'All you end up doing is physically hurt each other.'

'You'd be surprised how damaging getting beaten to pulp can be, Potter,' Severus said darkly. 'If I had to choose between having a wand or a fist waving at my face, I'd pick a wand any day.'

'Anyone want a cigarette?' Sirius said to interrupt Severus and Potter's bickering.

'I'll take one,' said Severus, surprising himself by how glad he was to be balancing a cigarette between his fingers again.

'Can I try one?' Evan asked. 'I've never smoked before.'

Sirius shot Evan an evil grin as he passed him a cigarette. 'Moony,' he said, 'want one as well?'

'Very funny Padfoot,' said Remus, looking displeased.

'Oh come on,' Sirius whined, 'just give it a try. Worst that could happen is that the cigarette gets stuck between your teeth or something.'

Severus had already lit his own cigarette with a snap of his fingers and inhaled deeply. 'I didn't realise just how much I needed this right now.'

In the meantime, Evan imitated what Severus did, but couldn't get the cigarette lit.

'Here,' Severus said as he snapped his fingers. 'Make sure you inhale.'

Evan started coughing up his lungs the moment he inhaled, causing everyone to snicker and Sirius to burst out in a barking laughter.

'It takes some getting used to,' said Sirius. 'Come on Moony, just take one.'

The moment Remus took the cigarette in his mouth from Sirius's hands, everyone burst out into laughter.

Remus frowned at the sight of everyone laughing at him. 'What's so funny?' he said.

'Oh mate,' Sirius tried to say though his fit of laughter, 'I wish I could take a picture of you right now. You look ridiculous.'

'Severus,' said Remus stiffly, 'can you light the bloody thing for me?'

Severus lit the cigarette for Remus, and couldn't help but be amused at the ridiculous sight of a tame werewolf smoking a cigarette.

'How are you doing Evan?' Sirius asked.

'Still unsure whether I like it or not,' said Evan through a cough. 'But thanks anyway.'

'It's a bit funny, isn't it,' Peter pointed out. 'Two Slytherins and four Gryffindors pulling an all-nighter together, and none of us give a damn.'

'We do sit together most of the time at the Gryffindor table,' said Evan.

'That is true,' said Peter, 'but still, this is different. At school people are always looking at us like we're committing a crime or something. But out here, it's as if none of that exists.'

'I like it,' said Potter unexpectedly. 'I like how none of it matters out here.'

'Remus,' said Evan as he tried to flick off some of the ash of his cigarette, 'can I ask you something?'

'Sure,' Remus mumbled, trying to smoke his cigarette as humanly as he could.

'Do you think you'll ever be able to tell the rest of the Young Order about your condition?' he asked. 'I mean, I just found out by accident, but if someone else were to find out without knowing any better, wouldn't you risk being exposed and expelled or something?'

'Dumbledore personally made sure that I am able to attend Hogwarts,' said Remus. 'So expulsion isn't something that I have to fear. However, at the beginning of next month Severus and I are going down to London for this wolfsbane potion he and mister Belby made, and I may risk exposing it to the whole wizarding world.'

A silence fell between the group, and they all knew it was because Remus had just spoken a harsh truth.

'Evan has a point Remus,' said Severus, 'maybe it is a good idea to tell everyone within the Young Order. That way you'll at least have a group of friends around you that can stand up for you if needed be.'

Remus spat out the remains of his cigarette. 'I'll think about it,' he said with a husky sigh, 'but it might take some time before I reach a decision.'

'You don't have that kind of time,' Severus pointed out. 'We have two more meetings with the Young Order until we head to London. I recommend doing it before we go there.'

'I have an idea,' said Potter. 'We're not supposed to learn about this until a few weeks from now during Defense Against The Dark Arts, but the teacher told us we are going to discuss werewolves.'

'I see where this is going,' said Severus. 'We could ask the professor if we could discuss werewolves sooner so we can find out what everybody's stance is on werewolves before Remus decides to expose himself.'

'Exactly,' Potter confirmed. 'What do you think, Remus?'

'I think thats brilliant,' said Remus, looking a bit more hopeful than a moment ago.

'Great,' said Evan, 'so uhm—now what do we do?'

'We just sit here and wait till the break of dawn,' said Sirius. 'And then we head back to the castle and try not to fall asleep during double potions tomorrow.'

'That sounds like a plan to me.'


	97. Serving Detention Together

'You look like you could use some coffee,' said Lily as she looked at Severus in amusement.

Severus was having a hard time keeping his eyes open during their potions class. 'I could use an Invigorating Draught as well,' he said as he stifled a yawn.

All four Marauders weren't looking any better than Severus did, and Evan, who was sitting at the desk in front of him and Lily, had fallen asleep using his books as a pillow.

'Must've been a rough night,' said Lily, slumping down into her chair as well.

'I'll tell you all about it later,' said Severus. 'But right now I want to see if I can make it through the day.'

'We still have to serve detention,' Lily pointed out.

Severus let out a groan. 'I was hoping we had managed to evade that nonsense.'

'Professor McGonagall gave me detention,' Lily said with a look of displeasure. 'Don't know what Slughorn will do for you though.'

In the meantime, professor Slughorn was talking on and on about the importance of the OWLs that were coming up, causing not only Severus and his companions from last night to drift off, but everyone else in the classroom as well.

'I just can't bring myself to even be remotely concerned about anything right now,' Severus said monotonously.

'Did dad have anything interesting to say?' Lily asked.

'Erwin?' Severus asked. 'About what?'

'I'm talking about the letter he sent you, you sleepy snitch,'said Lily. 'Haven't you read it yet?'

Severus fumbled around in the pockets of his robes, and pulled out the unopened letter. 'I had entirely forgotten about it,' he admitted. 'Want to read it with me?'

Hiding the letter underneath the desk from Slughorn's line of vision, Severus and Lily joined heads and began to read.

_Dear Severus,_

_It is good to hear that everything between you and Lily is working out so well. I can't emphasize enough how grateful I am that you are looking after her in these difficult times. For what it's worth, I wish you two all the best together._

Severus could feel Lily's hand resting on his leg, and so he reached out for her and fumbled his fingers in between hers.

_The research regarding your father is still ongoing, but there's still no lead whatsoever on what happened. All we can do now is remain hopeful._

_Arthur has told me that Dumbledore has been showing up at the ministry quite frequently lately. I am aware that attacks have been occurring at Hogwarts, and they all seem to be aimed at Muggle-born students such as Lily._

_As much as I would like to believe that Hogwarts is still the safest place to be for the both of you, I can't help but feel as if there really isn't such a place that offers safety as a guarantee, including Hogwarts. Arnica is aware that something of importance is going on, and so I promised her that she will learn about everything once the two of you return home. It is just no longer possible for me to keep everything a secret. I'm sorry._

'Mum's going to freak out,' Lily mumbled under her breath. 'I guarantee it.'

'Not much we can do about that,' Severus whispered back. 'All we can do is try to convince her that Hogwarts is still the safest place for us to be.'

_I'm sure you'll do just fine during your upcoming exams. Don't forget to push Lily a little into studying harder than she usually does._

_Lots of love to you both,_

_Dad_

'Tssk!' Lily hissed. 'My dad has higher expectations of you than he does of his own daughter.'

'Can you blame him?' Severus teased. 'I mean, you _are_ a bit of a slob.'

Lily's hand that was still resting on his leg squeezed hard on the side of his kneecap, causing him to jump and nearly tip of his chair.

'Everything alright over there?'s aid professor Slughorn, glaring at Severus and Lily with a look of disdain.

'No, professor,' said Severus. 'Miss Evans is trying to distract me from the lesson.'

Lily's mouth fell open and professor Slughorn rolled with his eyes. 'Just keep it down, please,' he said, and continued on with his lecture.

'That was mean,' Lily growled, but Severus could see that she was trying hard not to burst out into laughter.

Severus was about to say back something witty, but the bell rang and too many chairs were scraping for him to be heard.

'Mister Snape, Miss Evans,' professor Slughorn called out, 'I'd like you both to remain seated for a moment.'

'You better get to be serving detention with me,' Lily mumbled under her breath as the rest of the group left the classroom for lunch.

Once everyone had left, Lily and Severus smiled up at professor Slughorn in an innocent fashion.

'What am I going to do with the two of you?' Slughorn said as he pulled up a chair and sat down in front of them. 'My two top students start dating, and it's as if the rules of the school no longer apply to them.'

'I'm sorry, professor,' said Lily sincerely. 'I know that our exams should be the main priority right now.'

'Severus,' Slughorn said with a hint of authority, 'how come you didn't show up to any of your lessons yesterday?'

'I preferred to be alone for a while,' said Severus, which was the truth.

'I'm sure spending the entire afternoon with miss Evans must've been a fine way to spend some time alone,' said Slughorn, not looking remotely amused. 'You're going to be spending the evening with mister Filch. He's been going on and on about the trophies in the Trophy Room needing a good polish.'

Severus felt as if one Invigorating Draught wasn't going to be enough to make it through the day.

'Just head to the third floor after dinner,' Slughorn added. 'He'll await you there.'

Still looking disappointed, Slughorn got up and headed back to his desk, fed Francis some fish food, and ended the discussion right there.

Once Lily closed the door behind them, she showed a look of pure glee on her face. 'Looks like we're in detention together after all,' she said.

'Great,' Severus said dully, and slumped against Lily as they made their way to the great hall.

'You're being melodramatic, Sev,' said Lily as she struggled to support his weight.

'Please drain my blood and replace it with coffee,' Severus said weakly.

'Oh you drama queen,' Lily teased. 'What is it that all of you have been out there doing, anyway?'

'We sat on a fence and smoked cigarettes,' said Severus. Lily took a step sideways, causing Severus to nearly crash onto the floor.

'Next time, invite me please,' said Lily as she tossed her hair back and put her hands on her hips.

'That is up to Remus entirely,' said Severus as he crossed his arms. He looked around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation. 'He's thinking about exposing his secret,' he whispered. 'Or at least to the Young Order.'

'How come?' Lily asked in astonishment.

'He's coming with me to London because he's been my test subject,' said Severus in a serious manner, 'and with that comes the risk of exposure. He wants to make sure who he can trust before that happens.'

'This is a major thing, Sev,' said Lily, looking like she could not believe what she had just heard. 'Is he absolutely sure about this?'

'He's got a plan,' Severus reassured her. 'You'll find out how by Monday.'

Lily didn't question him any further, so Severus took it as a sign that Lily understood that it was out of his hands.

Once they had joined the rest of the group at the Gryffindor table, Lily poured Severus a large mug of steaming hot coffee, and he cradled it in his hands as if he had just received a precious gift.

Evan, who was sitting on the other side of the table, was doing the exact same thing.

'What's causing you to be so tired, Evan?' Lily asked curiously.

Evan just looked sheepishly ahead, as if Lily's question didn't get quite through to him.

'He was with us last night,' Severus mumbled under his breath.

Lily slammed her pumpkin juice on the table, causing some of it to spill over the edges. 'So he gets to be there, but I can't?' she gritted through her teeth.

'Lily, that's not what happened,' Severus said quickly. The last thing he wanted to deal with was her unreasonable anger.

'What happened?' Evan said weakly as he looked at the scene unfolding in front of him.

'Nothing,' Severus said sharply, 'and Lily, I promise I'll explain everything when we have detention together.'

Obviously, Lily wasn't quite accepting Severus's answer, and turned her head away from him. 'I hope you have a good reason for all of this,' she said scornfully.

'As a matter of fact I do,' said Severus, remaining calm despite being annoyed by her outburst. 'As I said, I will tell you all about it when we serve our detention.'

…

'I'm sorry,' said Lily. 'I must have sounded like a complete twat during lunch.'

Filch had arranged for Severus and Lily to be cleaning up the Trophy Room, using nothing more than a supply of clean rags and a polishing potion.

'You were being unreasonable,' Severus pointed out, 'but I couldn't explain everything to you either at the table for everyone to hear.'

'But still,' Lily whined as she struggled with a particular nasty stain on a shield, 'I shouldn't jump to conclusions like that.'

'Is it safe for me to agree with that statement?' Severus asked with a grin on his face.

Lily tossed the rag she was holding in his direction, missing him by several feet.

'It's just—I'm curious,' said Lily. 'I've worked on that potion for Remus while you were in hospital and I just kept wondering what it's like to see him as a talking werewolf.'

'That I can understand,' said Severus, nodding in agreement. 'But no matter how fascinating it is, it is still up to Remus how much he wants to give away.'

Severus finished up a trophy and sat down beside Lily at the table. 'And as I just told you,' he continued, 'for Evan to find out was purely accidental.'

'Again, I'm sorry,' said Lily.

'It's okay,' said Severus, and kissed her on the side of her mouth. 'I knew you weren't entirely mad at me because you still brought me an Invigorating Draught. I'd probably be asleep by now if it wasn't for that.'

'If I hadn't I'd be cleaning this whole damn place all by myself,' Lily said with a smirk.

Lily grabbed another award of the shelf, and once she blew off some of the dust that had covered it, she let out a small shriek. 'Sev, look at this!' she said as she handed him the award.

'Special Award for Services to the School,' Severus mumbled as he read the plaque, 'awarded to Tom Riddle.'

Severus held it up to see it more clearly. 'I'm not surprised,' he said. 'He's known for wrapping people around his finger, so he must've done the same with the teachers when he was still a student.'

'It's just odd to find it here,' said Lily as she wiped her hands off her robes, and looked at the plaque with suspicion. 'I don't like finding that here after that whole incident with the diary.'

'Quite understandable,' said Severus as he took a rag and started to polish it. 'But I'm quite sure that this is just an ordinary plaque.'

They had lost track of time with all the cleaning and polishing they were doing. Aside from that, they frequently got distracted because they were both getting more and more touchy with each other.

There was a healthy tension between them. Severus understood that much. They frequently found excuses to end up kissing each other, which then turned into a snogging session.

Soon the rags lay forgotten in a corner, and Lily was sitting on his lap with her knees spread out, facing him.

From her goosebumps to her exposed neck and the faint outlining of her nipples under her shirt, Severus knew she was ready for more.

'This has got to be the most uncomfortable place for this,' Severus whispered into her ear.

A flash of disappointment came over Lily, but she still nodded in agreement.

'I just really want you,' Lily whispered back. 'Will there ever be a perfect timing?'

Severus ran his fingers through her hair and pressed his forehead against hers. 'As soon as we can,' he promised, 'and until then, I'll be looking forward to unwrap this beautiful gift.'

Lily's face turned a shade of red at Severus's words. 'You think I'm a gift?'

'You have no idea,' said Severus, feeling elated as he looked into Lily's shimmering eyes. 'To have you with me is the greatest gift of all.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N In 1973 Apollyon Pringle, the caretaker in Molly and Arthur's time, retired and was replaced by Filch, meaning he's already roaming the school by now. (But whether Mrs. Norris was already there is unknown since Rowling explicitly stated she was just a cat, and cats don't live that long.)


	98. The Great Werewolf Debate

Remus was playing around with his quill during Defense Against the Dark Arts to the point where he was jamming holes into the desk.

'Nervous are we?' Severus asked. 'Have you even asked the teacher yet if we could discuss werewolves today?'

'I did,' Remus said with an unnaturally high voice, and dropped his quill on the ground.

'Remus,' Lily said quietly as she handed him his quill back, 'there are already five of us who know about your condition, and none of us are bothered by it. Everything will be alright.'

'We'll see,' Remus said weakly. 'We'll see.'

'Have you thought about Frank and Regulus?' Severus asked.

'What for?' Remus asked nervously. 'You think they won't accept it?'

'No, because they are the one ones from the Young Order who aren't present in class today,' Severus pointed out.

'Good point,' said Remus. 'Don't know how to solve that problem yet, but good point.'

Peter, who was sitting beside Remus, seemed to be at lost at what to say to comfort his friend. 'Just calm down mate,' he whispered. 'What's the worst that could happen?'

'That everyone will turn their back on me,' Remus snapped back, and instantly seemed to regret that decision. 'Sorry.'

'Good morning everyone,' said the professor. 'Today we are going to discuss a topic that was scheduled for next month, but since it's bound to appear on your Defense Against the Dark Arts exam, I've decided to move it forward.'

Remus was now leaning on his elbows with his hands in his hair. 'What have I done?' he mumbled to himself.

'We're going to be discussing werewolves,' said the professor, 'and I want to start off with by asking you what we already know off this subject. Miss McDonald?'

'A person becomes a werewolf because he or she has been infected with lycanthropy, also known as werewolfry,' Mary answered.

'Well said,' said the professor. 'Can anyone add something to that?'

Emma had shot her hand up in the air. 'I'm not quite sure, but isn't it true that the only way to treat a werewolf bite is by using a mixture of powdered silver and dittany?'

'That is correct,' said the professor. 'However, most of the time when a person has been bitten by a werewolf they choose not to have their wounds healed, because the prospect of living as a werewolf is more painful than the prospect of life itself.'

Remus had started pulling on his sleeves as if he was subconsciously trying to hide the scars that covered his body.

'Well that's depressing,' Emma said with a frown.

'There's a lot of stigmatization revolving werewolves,' the professor explained. 'The most common presumption is that werewolves are inherently evil, and are thus shunned by our society. The problem with that stigma is that those who do suffer from lycanthropy are therefore consistently told that they do not belong in our society, and thus will gain evil tendencies. It's a problem that goes around in circles, really.'

'Professor,' Avery said after he stuck his hand up in the air, 'are there are lot of werewolves out there?'

'The number of werewolves is unknown,' answered the professor, 'which has to do with the fact that most of them prefer to remain in hiding out of fear of being hunted down.'

'Why would anyone hunt down werewolves?' Alice asked with a look of disgust. 'I mean, they're still people. Are they really being hunted down and killed like animals?'

'The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures,' the professor explained, 'classifies those who suffer from lycanthropy as the most dangerous on the chart as they are known wizard killers and are impossible to train or domesticate. However, it must be noted that this only happens when the one suffering from lycanthropy is only classified as such once transformed, and not when in human form.'

'Doesn't that cause a lot of confusion though?' Lily asked. 'I mean, for someone to be considered a person and a dangerous creature. How does that even work?'

'You raise a good question there, miss Evans,' said the professor, 'and this is also where the debate that I want to have with all of you starts.'

On the blackboard, the professor wrote down a thesis. "Werewolves should be registered and monitored by the Ministry of Magic."

'Didn't we just agree that that isn't plausible?' said Severus, 'as most werewolves prefer to remain into hiding?'

'If you can come up with a better thesis I'd be more than happy to hear it, mister Snape,' said the professor.

'What about; "Should the Ministry of Magic be held responsible for providing aid for those who suffer from lycanthropy within our magical society?"

'That's a mouth full,' said the professor, 'but alright, we can work with that for now.' A piece of chalk magically crossed out the thesis that the professor had written before, and replaced it with Severus's statement.

'What kind of aid are we even speaking of?' Mulciber asked. 'It's not as if there's a cure or something.'

'Providing werewolves with safe houses where they could go to for their transformations,' Severus summed up. 'Or medical aid to treat wounds and other pain that is caused by the lycanthropy. Or informing the public about lycanthropy to break the stigma, or—'

'—Seriously, Snape,' Mulciber interrupted, 'when did you start giving a damn about half-breeds?'

Remus covered his face with his hands as if he entirely regretted starting up this debate to begin with.

'I give a damn,' Severus said coldly, 'because no one should have to live in fear for simply existing.'

'Funny, Snape,' Mulciber said dryly, 'you almost make it seem as if you're a werewolf yourself. I always suspected you to be more of a vampire.'

Severus was about to throw back in insult when the professor interrupted them. 'Can we stay on track, please?' the professor pleaded.

Lily stuck her hand up in the air. 'I do think the Ministry of Magic should be held responsible,' she said.

'And could you tell us why, miss Evans?' the professor asked.

'Because I thought the whole point of paying taxes to the Ministry is so that the entire wizarding community can take care of one another,' Lily stated. 'People who deal with lycanthropy have it bad enough, so I don't see why we shouldn't collectively help them.'

'Wouldn't it benefit all of us, especially financially, if they were just put down?' Avery said boldly. 'All it does is drain tax money without gaining anything out of it.'

'Have you ever heard of this thing called investments, Avery?' Lily snapped at him. 'If the Ministry can invest in supporting werewolves in such a way so that they can participate in society, they will ultimately become tax payers, and thus return the money that was once invested into them to provide aid.'

'You do realize that if they participate in society, they'd still be werewolves?' Avery said with a look on his face as if he could not believe what he was hearing. 'No matter what you end up throwing at them, they'll ultimately still be dangerous half-breeds who are capable of killing you, or worse, turn you into one of their own.'

'What part of the "providing safe houses" did you not grasp?' Lily responded angrily.

'What the hell makes you think that werewolves are all inherently good?' Avery said with a raised voice. 'The reason why there are so many werewolves out there to begin with is because many of them believe, genuinely believe, that they are doing the right thing by turning others into one of their own. They're better off gone entirely.'

Lily was growing red in the face out of fury. 'The only reason why so many of them think that way is because _we,_ non-werewolves, have stigmatized them to be that way.'

'—And this is where we stumble upon the same circle we spoke off earlier,' the professor interrupted. 'But as you can see, similar debates on a larger scale have been held at the Ministry for years, and as long as there's no cure for lycanthropy I'm afraid the debate will continue on for a long time to come.'

Remus was staring down at the table, shivering as if a cold breeze was passing through him.

'I want everyone to write two feet of parchment about werewolves on how to recognize them,' the professor continued, 'and a thorough explanation about your stance on the werewolf debate about their place in society.'

As the professor started on a rant about the signs to recognize a werewolf, Lily, Severus, and the Marauders all turned to Remus. Remus moved two thumbs up in the air by means of using sign language, which meant that he was doing alright.

After what seemed like forever, the bell rang and the class was finally dismissed, causing everyone to scrape their chairs and head for the great hall for lunch.

'Way to go, Lily!' Alice said as she nudged Lily in the side. 'Show that prick who's boss.'

'Thanks Alice,' Lily answered with a smile. 'This whole debate was starting to hit me on a very personal level.'

'I understand that completely,' Emma said from behind them. 'It's as if werewolves are being shunned just like Muggle-borns like us are being shunned. It must be so awful to be treated as less than human.'

'I'm surprised to hear that coming from you, Vanity,' said Potter.

'Why?' Emma said with a frown. 'Just because I'm a Slytherin doesn't mean that I'm full of prejudice, and besides, Lily and I were both raised believing that werewolves were just a folklore story and could be killed by silver bullets.'

'What's a bullet?' Potter asked in confusion.

'Oh dear,' Emma said bleakly, 'sometimes I forget how little you wizards know about the Muggle world.'

That remark caused Lily to burst out in a fit of giggles. 'I agree,' she said. 'Wizards can be so naïve regarding the innovative lives of Muggles.'

Lily and Emma were about to continue their little chat on Muggle and wizard relations when Severus pulled her promptly aside and pointed at a figure who was sitting in a shadowy corner of a corridor.

'I'll see you in a great hall, okay?' Lily said to Emma. Emma nodded in understanding and followed the rest of the group down the stairs.

Lily sat down in front of a defeated looking Remus while Severus had gathered up the rest of the Marauders.

They all formed a circle around him to shield him from any onlookers, and his eyes were full of tears.

'I shouldn't have started this debate,' Remus said with a heavy lump in his throat. 'I shouldn't have.'

'It hasn't been entirely in vain,' said Severus, feeling uncomfortable at the emotional display that Remus was showing. 'We now know that the people who matter most won't shun you, which is ultimately why we brought up this discussion to begin with.'

Potter transfigured a piece of parchment into a silk handkerchief and handed it to Remus. 'We'll always be here to support you Moony,' he said. 'That's a promise we made in our first year when we thought you were just ill, and that's a promise we stuck to when we found out about your real condition.'

'For what it's worth,' Lily added, 'I think it was very brave of you to bring up this discussion. Consider it a step in the right direction, if you will.'

'Thanks Lily,' Remus said softly. 'And thanks for sticking up for me.'

'I'll always stick up for you,' said Lily while giving Remus a reassuring pat on his shoulder. 'Sev, I think it might be a good idea to leave these gentlemen here alone for a moment.'

Severus nodded in agreement, and together they left the four Marauders behind as they continued their walk to the great hall. By the time they had reached the bottom of the grand staircase, Severus tossed his arms around Lily and planted a kiss on her forehead. 'You did great,' he said.

'Said the man who is about to change the life of every werewolf around the world,' said Lily as she returned the embrace. 'I'm proud of you, Sev. I really am.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I'm going to throw this out here and compare the debate to the refugee debate that's been going on and on in my home country (The Netherlands). There's a group of people who believe that the refugees should be sent back to their home countries, and then there's a group who do see potential and considers them a worthy investment. I think its fairly obvious which side I'm on.
> 
> A/N ^I wrote this AN a long time ago, and I still consider it relevant to this day. I even work with refugees now.


	99. This Calls for a Celebration

It took an awful lot of effort, but ultimately Severus and Lily managed to convince Remus to speak up about his lycanthropy during the next Young Order meeting.

Regarding Frank, he had come with the answer himself on his stance regarding werewolves, as a similar debate was held during his own Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson. It didn't come much as a surprise to Severus that Frank had been as fierce about it as Lily had been, since Frank had to be most morally justified Hufflepuff since Helga Hufflepuff herself.

Lily had put Sirius to work regarding his younger brother. The only significant thing that had come out of Regulus's mouth was something along the lines of "would be cool to meet an actual werewolf, wouldn't it?" and that seemed good enough to Sirius.

'Took that Calming Draught I gave you?' Lily asked Remus.

'I did,' said Remus with a timid voice, looking more sedated than relaxed. 'Still a bit unsure about the whole thing.'

'Maybe you should reconsider going to London if you aren't ready to expose yourself,' Severus said as he sat down beside Remus in the circle.

'You're not helping, Sev,' said Lily with a glare.

'Severus is right though,' said Remus sadly. 'How can I ever become a spokes person for all werewolves if I can't even expose my secret in front of my friends?'

'Just suck it up, Remus,' said Severus rather harshly. 'What's the worst that could happen?'

'Oh shit, I don't know,' Remus growled. 'I could have people turn their back on me, or my secret could be exposed and people would want to put me down like Mulciber does, or worse, I could be expelled and end up living in the dirt among other half-breeds, or—'

'—Don't you see, Remus,' Severus said as he interrupted Remus's rant, 'this is exactly why we are going to London. To prevent all of these things from happening so that you, and others like you, don't have to live that kind of life.'

Remus ran his hands through his hair and let out a sigh. 'I'm just conflicted is all,' he said softly. 'This is going to change my life for the better or worse and that thought just terrifies me.'

'I'm glad to see everybody's here,' said Frank as he took his place in the center. 'But before we start off with our usual defense lessons, I'd like to invite Remus to come and stand here with me.'

Lily gave Remus a reassuring pat on the shoulder. 'We got your back,' she whispered to him. Remus nodded in understanding and took his place beside Frank.

Frank, catching on with Remus's nervous stance, did the talking for him. 'Remus told me that he has something to share with all of you.' I don't know what it is, but I do know that it's highly personal and I think he would appreciate it if you can devote your full attention to him.'

Remus looked as if the last thing he wanted was for everyone to have their full attention focused on him, but he drew a deep breath to collect his Gryffindor courage, and started talking. 'What I'm about to tell you may change the way you see me forever,' he said in a heavy voice, 'so I can only hope that none of you will see me in a different light after what I am about to tell you.'

It was clear how serious everyone was taking Remus's story, as you could hear a pin needle drop in the silence.

'As all of you know,' Remus continued, 'it's not quite uncommon for me to end up in the hospital wing because I get ill a lot. That, and I've often used the excuse that my mother isn't well either and that I need to go home from time to time. Truth is, I never went home.'

Remus looked down at the floor, as if everyone's gaze was becoming too overwhelming.

'There is nothing wrong with my mother,' Remus said weakly, 'but there is something wrong with me, and I think it's time for me to tell you all the truth on that matter because it's something that I know I can't hide forever.'

Tears had started to form in the corners of his eyes, but Remus persevered his story nonetheless. 'When I was little, I just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, because someone had come through my window when I was asleep and did something to me.'

Remus's voice grew thick with emotion, and Frank had thrown an arm around Remus's neck for mental support.

'That night a werewolf attacked me,' said Remus, not bothering to wipe away the tears that were streaming down his face. 'My parents were able to save me but the damage was already done. I've been a werewolf after since.'

Remus closed his eyes as if he expected an uproar from the circle of people that surrounded him, but none came.

The girls, aside from Lily, all gasped in horror. Peter, Sirius and Potter quickly stood up and formed a circle around Remus in order to protect him. 'If anyone got a problem with Remus you might as well say it now,' Potter demanded.

'It's not a problem,' Alice stated, 'I'm just shocked. This is such a horrible thing Remus…'

'Holy shit,' Regulus mumbled. 'Sirius, is this why you brought up that discussion about werewolves the other day?'

Sirius nodded in confirmation. 'And like James said, he said firmly, 'if anyone got a problem with that, you might as well spit it out.'

Mary seemed rather torn up about the whole situation. 'Remus, I know that this is going to sound very rude, but I there's just something that I need to know.'

'Just ask,' said Remus as he was finding his normal voice back. 'You're not running away so it can't be much worse than people going that werewolves should be put down.'

'How come you're allowed to attend Hogwarts?' she asked. 'I mean, surely even you must understand that being a werewolf is a dangerous thing to be.'

'It's something that Dumbledore arranged for me,' Remus answered truthfully. 'At first I was supposed to be homeschooled, but Dumbledore insistent that I got to live somewhat of a normal life by being here.'

'Then what happens when you transform?' Emma asked curiously. 'I'm sorry. I'm just ignorant about all this.'

Remus smiled weakly and Frank released Remus from his grip. 'Is it an idea if we all sat down in a close circle so we can ask you some questions?' Frank suggested.

'Good idea,' said Remus, and everyone did what Frank had suggested.

Remus fell into a story on everything that happened to him after he had been bitten, and answered question after question that everyone came up with. Even Mary, who seemed a bit skeptical at first, was starting to open up to Remus the more he exposed about himself.

'So you're the reason why the Shrieking Shack is called the Shrieking Shack?' Regulus asked with a look of amazement.

'It is,' Remus said with a hint of pride. 'Not the kind of legacy that I had been hoping to leave behind, but yes, it is.'

'What made you decide to expose yourself to us like this?' asked Frank. 'Surely you must have some sort of underlying reason to do so.'

'I do,' said Remus. 'The first one is that more and more people were starting to find out. First James, Sirius and Peter found out a few years back already. Then a while back Lily made the connection, and Evan found out by accident this past month. I knew that it wasn't possible to keep it a secret forever, so I preferred to tell you all myself rather than have you find out in another way.'

Remus turned his gaze at Severus, who up to know had remained entirely silent. 'The other reason is because of Severus,' he added. 'In our forth year something happened that, without going into too much detail, is something that none of us are proud off, causing Severus to find out about my condition without being allowed to speak of it on Dumbledore's orders.'

Everyone was now looking up at Severus, which was making him feel oddly uncomfortable.

'Instead of exposing my secret,' Remus continued, 'he stuck to his promise and remained silent despite what we had done to him, and then he managed to do the unthinkable.'

Severus was unsure where to look, and so he remained looking down at his hands instead. In his previous life he had remained anything but silent about Remus's lycanthropy after he had forgotten to take the potion, which, admittedly, he still found a very stupid move on Remus's behalf. But then again, Severus also knew the job that Remus had was also cursed, and he would be better off fired than dead like so many had before him.

'Severus?' said Remus as he turned his gaze towards him. 'Do you want to tell everyone what you've been working on the past school year?'

'I will,' said Severus, and looked up at everyone as if he was seeing them for the first time today. 'Most of you already know that I've been working with a renowned potioneer named Damocles Belby. Him and I have managed to create a potion that could help werewolves during their transformation.'

Lily nudged Severus in the side with her elbow. 'Sev is being modest,' she said. 'What him and mister Belby have created is groundbreaking.'

'I—I uhm,' Severus stammered. He wasn't used to being praised for anything he has ever done, so to have that many eyes on him with a look of admiration was making him feel uncomfortable.

'Did you invent like a cure for lycanthropy or something?' Regulus asked.

'Technically not a cure,' said Severus. 'What the potion does is allow the one who has lycanthropy to keep his or her human mind once transformed into a werewolf, so he or she no longer forms a dangerous threat.'

'Woah,' said Frank. 'So what you're saying is that this potion could make everyone with lycanthropy harmless?'

'If the potion is taken every day two weeks prior to the full moon, then yes,' said Severus. 'But as always, there's a catch.'

'And what would that be?' Mary asked.

'Not only is the potion extremely difficult to make,' Severus explained, 'but it also requires the use of a lot of rare ingredients, thus making it expensive. Too expensive for most people to be able to afford.'

'And this is where it gets good,' Remus said with a grin. 'Severus and I are going to the Ministry of Magic in London early next month to meet up with mister Belby, and figure out a way to have pharmaceutical potioneers and the Ministry work together so the potion can be funded by the state, rather than have people having to pay for it from their own pocket.'

'I see where this is going,' Evan said enthusiastically. 'That way not only a handful, but every werewolf in the country could have access to this potion.'

'Exactly,' said Severus, 'and—'

'—I'm not finished yet,' Evan interrupted. 'I know that you-know-who has been trying to recruit werewolves into his scheme of plans, considering who my family is and all, but that might be prevented if all werewolves had access to this potion and people no longer have to fear them.'

'That's exactly what we are aiming at, Evan,' said Remus. 'The only reason why so many of my kind are joining the dark side is because they are unwanted on our side. If our side had a reason not to fear us, this wouldn't happen.'

'I'm not sure if every werewolf out there feels the same way,' said Severus in a serious tone, 'but it's worth the try.'

'Wouldn't you need a lot of money to start up a project on such a massive scale?' Potter asked. 'I mean, if you monopolized the recipe or something, you and mister Belby could grow filthy rich.'

Severus was about to protest, but Potter stopped him from speaking. 'I know that that is not what you or mister Belby are after,' Potter added quickly. 'I mean, my dad could when he invented the Sleekeazy's Hair Potion because it's just a luxury product and no one's life depends on it, but that's not the case with what you invented, and so you're going to need some sort of a start capital to make it work.'

'And where do you suggest we get that kind of money?' Severus asked irritably.

Potter threw his hands up in the air as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. 'My dad, of course,' he said. 'You've met him. I'm sure he will be more than willing to help if I explained the situation to him.'

Severus fell silent after Potter's unexpected gesture.

'Looks Snape,' Potter added, 'I know you and I don't get along for many different reasons but this problem is so much bigger than that. It may not be confirmed yet, but I am positive that my dad will be willing to help you out with this.'

'Thanks,' said Severus stiffly. 'I'm just unsure how we could even put this money to good use.'

'Supplies mostly,' said Potter, 'and a factory to brew it in. I'm sure rare supplies would be a lot cheaper if they could be grown or forged or whatever if you didn't have to order it from abroad all the time.'

Severus nodded in agreement. 'The cheaper we are able to produce it, the better.'

'That's just the weird thing about economics,' said Potter. 'If you want to make something cheaper, you need to invest an awful lot of money in order to achieve that.'

It seemed as if Potter's explanation silenced everyone in order to process about what he had just explained.

'I have an idea,' said Lily eventually to break the sudden silence that had fallen in the group. 'Remus just opened up to us on a very personal level and Severus just told us about his life changing invention, so I think this calls out for a celebration.'

'Count me in!' said Evan happily. 'Any reason not to study for our OWLs is a good reason in my book.'

'Then I suggest we go down to the kitchens and pop a few butterbeers,' said Lily with a smile. 'Last time we did that was for my birthday, and we seriously don't go down there often enough.'

'Frank,' said Sirius, 'do you think you could lend McGonagall's gramophone again?'

'I think so,' said Frank. 'She'll give you anything as long as you stay on her good side.'

'Then I'll take care of the music,' said Sirius. 'Everybody ready?'

'Ready!' the group called out in unison, and made their way out of the Room of Requirement to go down to the kitchens.

'That went better than expected,' said Remus to Severus as they made their way towards the grand staircase.

Severus shot Remus a sad smile, not because he wasn't relieved that everyone from the Young Order had found a way to accept Remus's condition on their own terms, but because Potter's words kept echoing in his mind. The problem was indeed so much bigger than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N There's something that I don't quite understand. Remus said that for the longest time he didn't even know who bit him, and even pitied the one who did it. Now Lyall, who worked at the ministry at the time, was in the committee who put Fenrir Greyback on trial for the murder of two Muggle children. Lyall recognized the signs of werewolf characteristics in Fenrir and wanted the trial to be postponed until the next full moon, but the committee didn't believe him. Fenrir escaped with the help of two insiders and wanted to take revenge on Lyall for calling werewolves soulless and evil (and deserving nothing but death.) The revenge resulted into Remus being bitten. How come Lyall never bothered to tell his son who was responsible? Was it shame that held him back from telling Remus the truth?


	100. A Sunny Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Reaching 100 chapters calls for a celebration. Here, have some Snily fluff ;)

'What are you staring at me for?' Lily whispered to Severus with a raised eyebrow.

Severus was looking at Lily with amusement. 'Nothing,' he said in a very non-convincing way.

Lily put down her quill on the table and used her hand to support her head. 'Please tell me what you're looking at,' she said as she blinked with her eyes in a seductive manner.

'Alright,' said Severus, mimicking Lily's posture. 'I see a girl who has grown so distracted from her studying that she absentmindedly started playing tic-tac-toe on her homework, by herself, I should add, and keeps staring out of the window longingly at the sun clad school grounds.'

Lily let out a snort and proceeded to hide her reddening face. 'A girl? She said 'And here I am thinking you thought of me as a lady.'

'You are a lady,' Severus answered with a smile, 'but you are acting like a clueless puppy when it concerns your homework.'

'Are you saying this because you promised dad to kick my arse if I slacked off?' Lily asked.

'Maybe,' Severus said nonchalantly, 'then again, I did promise Erwin that I would look after you, _and_ your magical career.'

'I don't need a baby sitter, Sev,' Lily said as she rolled her eyes.

All Severus could do was continue to stare at her, and shook his head. 'You are so far behind with, well, practically everything. Why is it you are you not even remotely stressing out by now?'

Lily raised her hands in a "so what" kind of fashion. 'We still got like, what is it, a few—'

'—Eight weeks,' Severus answered strickly. 'Eight exact weeks before the start of our exams.'

'That's more than two full months!' Lily whined. 'Aside from you, who the hell actually bothers to study that long beforehand?'

'I am so far ahead on my work that so far I haven't had to deal with a single moment of stress related to the exams,' Severus said with a frown. 'Which I can't say for anyone else.'

'Well not everyone is as brilliant as you,' said Lily with a scowl. 'It's as if with each year when things get more and more difficult, they seem to get easier for you.'

Severus could see the irony in her words, but to spout out and admit that he had done it all before and therefore found it a bit easier to deal with seemed like a very stupid idea.

'I can't,' Lily growled. 'I just can't continue today. I mean, look,' she said as she pointed out the window, 'we're finally having a beautiful spring day and what do we do? We're wasting it inside this library, studying for something that isn't going to happen for another eight weeks.'

'The weather is only going to get better,' said Severus as he looked out of the window, and was unimpressed by the meager rays of sunshine that were covering the grounds. 'You're much better off doing it now than at a time when everybody wants to sit outside to study.'

Lily leaned back against the side of a bookshelf behind her, and folded her arms.

'There's something I'm not seeing that you're not telling,' said Severus, 'because lets face it, you're not very good at hiding your frustrations.'

With two fingers, Lily pointed up at her hair. 'In case you haven't noticed, Sev,' she said, 'I'm a red head.'

'So?' Severus said with a shrug. 'How does that relate to you wanting to go outside?'

Lily groaned in frustration. 'Sev, once it starts to get any warmer than this I will have to start jumping from shadow to shadow to avoid turning into a lobster.'

Severus started laughing at the thought of Lily trying to run away from the sun. 'True, you'd make a better vampire than me,' he said.

'Not funny, Sev,' Lily whined. 'My skin will turn into such a violent shade of red that it could make a tomato proud.'

'I'm sorry,' said Severus, not feeling sorry at all. 'Sometimes I forget how delicate your English skin can be.'

Not quite sure how to respond to that remark, all Lily did was shake her head. 'Not everybody is blessed with an Indian grandmother like you,' she said with a hint of jealously. 'Oh the things I'd give not to shrivel up and die the moment I step out into the sun.'

'How about you go and try to finish up that Herbology homework?' Severus suggested as he pointed at her tic-tac-toe covered sheet of parchment.

Lily forced herself to sit up straight again and took a hold of the quill she had put down a moment earlier.

'Don't you normally work on Herbology with Frank?' Severus asked.

'I do,' said Lily. 'He's really good at it so he helps me out from time to time.'

'Look at that,' said Severus as he looked deeply into Lily's eyes. 'A potion prodigy who has trouble making her own ingredients.'

'Just because I know how to use ingredients doesn't mean that I know how to grow them,' Lily sneered. 'I mean, look at this, _fanged_ geraniums. Who would've thought that something so dull could be so dangerous at the same time.'

'It's still a historical speculation that the Muggle War of the Roses started with two wizarding neighbours arguing over a fanged geranium,' Severus said in a feeble attempt to make it sound interesting. 'That, and we use the fangs as a potion ingredient.'

'Everything I learned about this country's history is put into speculation the moment I set foot in professor Binns' classroom for the first time,' said Lily. 'Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have everything you ever learned to be put into questioning?'

'As a matter of fact I do,' said Severus, wondering if Lily had momentarily forgotten that he, too, was brought up among Muggles.

'Look over your shoulder,' Lily whispered as she pointed with her eyes towards madam Pince's desk.

Madam Pince was looking at Severus and Lily as if she was one toss of her ink bottle away of throwing them out of the library.

'I think we may have been a bit too loud,' Lily whispered as she bit her lip, but her unmistakable mischievous twinkle was also prominent in her eye.

'You know what,' Severus whispered back to Lily, 'let's get out of here and go outside.'

Lily's eyes grew big with excitement. 'Are you giving in?' she teased.

'It's no use studying with you if all you do is protest,' said Severus nonchalantly, but he could see that she knew she had already won.

Madam Pince's eyes followed Severus and Lily around like a hawk as they quietly packed their belongings in order to leave.

Once Severus closed the doors of the library, he took Lily by the hand and walked her to the school grounds.

'I'll admit,' said Severus once they had made their way outside, 'it's much warmer than I thought it would be.'

They took of their cloaks and made their way towards the tree on the edge of the lake. They both spread out their cloaks on the ground and Severus leaned up against the tree while Lily sat down in between his legs and leaned up against him.

Severus gave her a few kisses spread across her face, wrapped his arms around her, and felt her relax by his touch.

'This feels good,' said Lily softly, and closed her eyes as she nuzzled up against his chest.

They sat there in silence for a while. Severus was staring off into the forest on the other side of the lake, while Lily was trying hard not to fall asleep.

Severus ran one of his hands through her thick curly hair. 'Had a rough night?' he asked with a grin.

'I think one more of those parties down in the kitchens will be the death of me,' Lily said lazily.

'And you had about, what was it, three butterbeers?' Severus teased.

'Says the man who can't even handle two without getting a hangover,' Lily teased back. 'Is that the giant squid waving at us?'

'I think it is,' said Severus as he saw a few tentacles waving up in the air. 'Want to go say hello?'

Lily pushed herself up from the ground and made her way towards the edge of the lake. 'Hello squid,' she said as she told a hold of one of its tentacles. 'It's good to see you on the other side of the window for a change.'

Lily may think that Severus had a gift with animals, but he was convinced that she had more of a talent with them than he did. She had the uncanny ability to make everyone, and everything, light up with her mere presence. That was just the way she was, and the way she was remembered by everyone after she had passed away.

'What are you thinking about, Sev?' Lily asked as she was tickling the squid's tentacles.

'Nothing,' said Severus firmly as he shook the memory of her passing out of his mind. He stood up and sat back down in the grass beside her, reaching out for another tentacle the squid was holding up.

'How come I don't believe you?' Lily asked as she looked at Severus with curiosity.

'Because if I really thought about nothing I'd be dead,' said Severus, knowing from experience that even that wasn't quite the truth.

'You're evading my question,' said Lily, 'but if you don't want to tell me, that's fine too.'

'Thanks,' said Severus softly. 'Sometimes it just gets a little dark inside my mind.'

'I know,' said Lily as she leaned in closed to him. 'I can always tell.'

'Then what do you see?' he asked, curious at how she was able to tell whenever he was falling into himself.

'Sometimes a shadow casts over you,' said Lily as she looked him in the eye, 'and that shadow drains away all of your happiness and leaves you looking like an empty shell, even if it's just for a moment.'

Severus wasn't sure whether to be glad or upset about Lily's observational talent. 'I suppose that's true,' he said.

Lily reached out to him and tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. 'You've gone through so much hardship in your life already,' she said. 'There's nothing strange nor wrong about the darkness inside of you to rise up to the surface from time to time. Just let it be.'

Tears started to form in the corners of Severus's eyes against his will. 'I wish I didn't have to fight it all the time,' he said with a loaded voice.

Lily ran her fingers through his hair, pulled him in closer by the back of his head and planted a kiss on his forehead. 'I'll fight it with you,' she said. 'I promise.'

After a while, the squid seemed to have enough of all the attention and disappeared into the depths of the lake.

From behind Lily, a little further around the lake near the edge of the forest, Severus could see the figure of a creature.

'Look,' he whispered to her and pointed at the trees in the distance. 'Can you see it?'

There, making her way out of the forest, was a doe, walking slowly towards the lake.

Lily was looking at the doe in fascination, and gasped. 'Oh look Sev,' she said, trying hard to contain her excitement. 'She's got a fawn right behind her.'

A fawn, so small that it could only have been born within the past few days, was walking awkwardly after its mother for a drink at the lake.

Severus couldn't help but smile at both the appearance of the deer and at Lily's reaction. Up to now, she didn't know her patronus charm took the form of a doe, as she had never performed the spell before.

'Makes you wonder where the stag is, don't you?' Lily asked.

'Does raise their fawns on their own,' said Severus. 'Stags on mate with them and then they leave.'

'Jerks,' Lily muttered. 'After seeing Potter as a stag I can't help but wonder if that fawn might be his.'

Severus nearly choked on his own air at Lily's comment. 'Please, get that image out of my head,' he said with great difficulty as he couldn't stop laughing.

Lily had started to laugh along with Severus, causing the doe and the fawn to look up in fear and run back off into the woods. 'Oh no!' Lily said with a hint of disappointment, 'we scared them away.'

Severus was now wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, not from sadness, but from laughing so hard. He looked into Lily's eyes, which were sparkling from happiness, and remembered when Evan had once called her a doe-eyed girl. It all made sense now.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The War of the Roses was a conflict that turned quite bloody between the house of Lancaster (who's symbol was a red rose), and the house of York (who's symbol was a white rose). The victory was led by Henry Tudor who united the houses through marriage.
> 
> A/N I keep hearing people say that Lilys patronus was complementary to that of James''s, but what if James's patronus was complimentary to that of Lily's?
> 
> A/N Evan called Lily doe-eyed back in Chapter 73.


	101. The West End of London

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Please do read my Author's Notes at the end of this chapter. A lot of things are mentioned in this chapter that are historically awesome and related to Rowling's world.

'I wish I could come with,' said Lily for what had to be the hundredth time.

On the very last day of the month, at lunchtime, Severus and Remus had prepared themselves for their journey to London.

'Maybe we can find some time to go together this summer,' said Severus in an attempt to reassure her. 'And if I get my motormike before that, we could even ride there.'

'I would love that,' said Lily, and wrapped her arms firmly around him. 'I'll miss you.'

'I'll miss you too,' said Severus, and kissed her intensely on the lips before he released himself from her grip.

The bell rang to indicate that the afternoon classes were about to start, and instead of following the crowd to the grand staircase, Severus and Remus took a left and made their way towards the school grounds.

'This is just as exciting as when we went to Edinburgh,' said Remus happily. 'Too bad we won't get to see much of London.'

'Who said we won't?' said Severus with a grin. 'Or did you forget that I can apparate?'

Remus shot Severus a mischievous grin back, but his face fell a moment after. 'Dumbledore gave us money for train tickets though,' he said. 'Seems a bit rude to pocket the money instead.'

'Pretty sure that money came directly out of the school fund,' said Severus. 'We might as well put it to a better use than train tickets.'

'Sometimes I forget you're a Slytherin,' said Remus.

'Lily would've done the same thing,'s aid Severus, feeling a sliver of pride at the fact that Lily didn't feel tied down by formalities either. 'I suggest we hide behind a wall once we reach Hogsmeade and disapparate from there.'

'Any idea where we could apparate safely into London?' Remus asked.

'There's a place at King's Cross where we can apparate to,' said Severus. 'It's specifically put there for wizards to avoid being seen.'

'Good,' said Remus. 'That way we still have an entire day that we can spend in London.'

After a while they had reached Hogsmeade station and found a brick wall to hide behind. Remus reached out for Severus's arm, and with a soft pop they were sucked into nothing, and reappeared behind a similar wall at King's Cross Station.

Remus tripped over his own feet when they landed, dragging Severus with him, as he was still holding on to his arm. 'I think we made it,' he said, still catching his breath.

Severus pushed himself up from the ground and spotted a place where they could exit the station. 'It's only early in the afternoon,' he said. 'How about we go to Diagon Alley first so we can exchange some money?'

The walk from King's Cross Station to Charing Cross Road was a nuisance to say the least. Whether it was early spring or not, the streets were crowded with people, causing Severus so subconsciously stand closer to Remus in the same way he did with Lily.

'You really don't like crowds, do you?' Remus asked once they took a turn to the right from Southampton Row into Great Queen Street.

'Not at all,' said Severus, his nervous stance prominent in his voice. 'I hate it when my vision is obscured by so many people.'

Remus shot Severus a questionable look. 'What exactly is it that you are afraid of?' he asked.

'I don't know if you are aware of this,' Severus said sharper than he intended, 'but there's a war going on.'

'I am aware, it's just—' Remus stopped midsentence and looked around in the same observing manner Severus was. 'Do you really think the enemy could be lurking anywhere?'

'I do,' said Severus. 'We already know that there are many followers of the Dark Lord within the walls of the Ministry. You don't know who they are, where they are, or what they're doing.'

Remus was starting to look a little frightened. 'I'll admit that I don't like seeing you when you're being dead serious about something.'

'Do I really look that frightening to you?' Severus asked, not wanting to put a downer on their day out in London.

'Sometimes,' said Remus, 'but only when you talk about you-know-who and all that. I tend to forget how deeply involved you used to be.'

'Too deep,' Severus admitted with a hint of shame. 'But there's nothing that can be done about that, so I'm better off using what I know against them.'

'I think were nearly there,' Remus pointed out. They had reached Charing Cross Road, and once they found the bookshop and the record shop aside from each other, the Leaky Cauldron morphed into view.

Severus, more than relieved to leave the busy street, quickly made his way inside and headed straight to the back of the pub.

'Anything else we need from Diagon Alley?' Severus asked as he pulled out his wand.

Remus shrugged. 'I don't need anything other than Muggle money.'

'Then what do you suggest we do all day?' Severus asked as they made their way into Diagon Alley.

'We could visit the British Museum,' Remus suggested with enthusiasm.

'What is it with you and museums?' Severus asked in amusement.

'I just really like history,'said Remus, 'whether Muggle or magical. It would be fun to find out if there are any magical objects hidden among the Muggle ones.'

'Then we'll go there,'said Severus, secretly liking the idea of going on a magical scavenger hunt. 'Any idea how to get there?'

'It's only a ten minute walk up North-East from Charing Cross Road,'said Remus, 'and if it makes you feel any better, the museum's so big that you can have a complete overview of everything, even when it's busy.'

There was something very endearing about Remus's concern for Severus's wellbeing, and it was starting to make him feel slightly uncomfortable. 'Do you need any money for the next few days?' Severus asked as they walked into Gringotts.

'I appreciate the gesture,' said Remus, 'but my parents sent me some money that I could use this time.'

'Alright,' said Severus, and found himself the nearest goblin that could exchange his galleons, including the ones he had received from Dumbledore, into pounds.

Once they made their way back through the Leaky Cauldron, Remus proceeded to half-drag Severus all the way to the British Museum. Once they passed Victoria's Palace Theatre on Shaftesbury Avenue, the top of the museum was already coming into view. Remus had not been wrong when he said the museum was big.

'I'm pretty sure if we want to see everything we won't be done by the end of the year,' said Severus, not sure where to look considering the immense size of the place.

'Several years in fact,' said Remus, his eyes gleaming at all the things he was seeing. 'Shall we start off at the European department?'

'You take the lead,' said Severus, knowing that Remus was bound to vanish anyway if he had found something that interest him.

Remus looked like a child in a candy shop, passing artifact after artifact that were on display, and, somehow, even had some additional knowledge to add to each description.

Severus had stopped in front of a print by Lucas Cranach the Elder, zoning out from Remus's rant on whatever it was that he was now getting enthusiastic about. The print was called The Werewolf, and showed a crazed man on four legs with a baby in his mouth while decapitated body parts were scattered around him. In the top left corner of the print, Severus noticed the Saxon shields, and he figured that this historical depiction was something that professor Binns would know more about than the Muggles at this museum did.

Severus tried to walk away from it, but Remus caught him just before he could pass it off as something that wasn't of any interest. At first, Remus read the description with interest, but his face soon fell the moment his eyes glanced over the print.

'Don't let it drag you down, Remus,' said Severus in an attempt to cheer him up.

'It's hard,' said Remus in a timid voice. 'It's hard when you know that the horrible images on this print are also the truth.'

'Just comfort yourself with the thought that everything is about to change for good,' said Severus. 'Let's get going, shall we? We still got some magical artifacts to find.'

It took a while for Remus to start feeling better, but eventually he was bouncing around the museum again in the same manner he had entered it.

They were admiring the Mildenhall Treasure, when something caught Severus's eyes. 'Remus,' he called out, 'I think I may have found something magical.'

Remus took a closer look at what Severus was pointing at. It was an object labeled as "The Great Dish", but also as "Neptune" and the "Oceanus Dish". Severus could find Bacchus, Oceanus, Hercules and Pan, amongst many other mythological creatures that were etched into the artifact.

'What do you think it is?' Remus asked as he admired the heavily decorated dish.

'I think it's a pensieve,' said Severus. 'Remus, I know it's quite some time ago, but do you remember when I taught the whole class something about Neptune during an Astronomy lesson?'

Remus looked up and seemed to think long and hard before he was able to recall when that happened. 'That was at the very beginning of the school year, wasn't it?'

'Yes indeed,' said Severus. 'I ranted a whole story about Neptune and its symbolism regarding thoughts, memories, dreams, birth, life and death and all that. I'm positive that this is a very, very old pensieve.'

'Neat,'s aid Remus. 'What exactly is a pensieve?'

Severus shot Remus a smile, remembering that the only reason why he knew so much more than everyone else was simply because of his added years of experience. 'I'll tell you all about it later,' he said. 'But for now, I would like to get something to eat.'

Remus subconsciously reached out to his stomach, and a loud growl came rising from the depths. 'How long as it been since we've eaten?' he asked.

'It's been several hours,' said Severus. 'We've spend a lot more time in here than you might think.'

'And we've only seen so little of it,' Remus said with a hint of disappointment. 'But I suppose you're right. It would be a better idea to go out and eat.'

Along Charing Cross road, they had found a quiet place where they could sit and eat. Remus had pulled out a phial with the wolfsbane potion from his backpack, remembering that today was also the first day of the fortnight cycle in which he had to start taking his potion again.

Severus fell into a story on what pensieves are and do, and how he had been introduced to them by Dumbledore. He made it sound as if Dumbledore had made use of it for their therapy sessions together, which technically was only half the truth, but to expose any more would bring suspicion.

They didn't keep track of the time, but they soon realised they must've sat there for a long time as the first stars started to appear in the clear sky.

'Anything else we'd like to do or shall we just head back and get a room at the Leaky Cauldron?' Remus asked.

'I prefer not to roam too much on the streets,' said Severus as he looked out the window. It was as if the streets were only growing more crowded with the rise of nightfall.

'Then lets head back shall we?' Remus suggested. 'For all we know we could use a good night's rest before all hell breaks loose tomorrow.'

They split the bill and made their way down the street when suddenly a long-haired figure in the distance caught Severus's eye. In a flash, he grabbed Remus by the shoulders and dragged him into the first place along the side of the road.

'What the hell was that for?' Remus asked, looking shocked.

'I just saw Lucius Malfoy further down the street,' said Severus in a low voice. 'I don't think he saw us, but it would be better if we waited for a while before we continue.'

'Welcome to the Marquee Club,' a bored voice said from behind a counter. 'You two blokes here to see National Flag?'

'As a matter of fact, we are,' said Severus, shoving a pound in the young man's hand. He received two tickets and proceeded to drag Remus into the club, who was now looking even more shocked after Severus had mentioned that he had seen Malfoy.

'What exactly is your plan, Severus?' Remus asked as they both sat down on a stool at the bar.

'For us to keep our heads down in a place I know Malfoy would never enter,' said Severus as he looked around the club. There were people setting up equipment on a stage, and a mist of cigarette smoke was hanging in the air.

'You think he'll be at the Ministry tomorrow?' Remus asked.

'I'm afraid so,' said Severus darkly. 'The prospect of seeing someone receive an Order of Merin isn't something he'll easily pass on,' he said. 'Also, I know he'll do anything to speak with me.'

'He attacked us,' Remus whimpered. 'He attacked us and he thinks he can just show up at the Ministry and pretend nothing has happened?'

'You'd be surprised how much you can get away with if you have money and a high status,' said Severus. 'There's nothing we can do about it, so let's just stay here and enjoy the show while we're at it.'

'I need a cigarette,' Remus said with a sigh, 'and I see a dispenser over there so I'm going to get us a pack.'

When Remus hopped off the barstool, a middle-aged lady appeared behind the bar and started preparing for tonight's event. 'You two want a beer?' she asked.

'Why not,' said Severus, giving in to the situation. 'You got Guinness?'

The lady nodded and pulled a tap, carefully filling two pints of the dark beer. 'That'll be forty pence please.'

Severus shoved some coins in her direction, and Remus came back unwrapping a brand-new pack of Sterling cigarettes.

From the bar Severus had a good overview of the club, and wasn't bothered as much by the growing crowd. Soon the band came up, and both Severus and Remus were surprised by how good they sounded. Severus couldn't help but grin to himself as he was smoking and drinking along to the music. It was definitely the seventies all over again.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N National Flag (You can find them on YouTube with their album "Thank you & Goodnight") played at the Marquee Club in London on the 30th of April 1976. The club was located along Charing Cross Road (until it moved in 1996), West End London, just like the Leaky Cauldron. The club is famous for the many bands who grew big later on, such as the Rolling Stones (who held their very first show there), The Jimi Hendrix Experience, The Who, Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, The Yardbirds etc.
> 
> A/N Victoria's Palace Theatre is located on Shaftesbury Avenue, crossing Charing Cross Road. This is where Rowling's new play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will be held.
> 
> A/N In the 1970s you paid roughly 20p for a pint of beer.
> 
> A/N There are several prints made by Lucas Cranach the Elder, including The Werewolf. It can be found on the website of The British Museum.
> 
> A/N The Mildenhall treasure was found in Suffolk. I loved seeing it when I visited the museum several years back, and the Neptune disk was something that I kept in the back of my mind. I'd like to believe that it's a pensieve. Please do reread chapter 12 "Neptune" if you don't recall it, and you'll understand why.


	102. Entering the Ministry

'I'm pretty sure I drank several liquid bricks last night,' said Remus weakly from behind the bathroom door.

'You were chucking down Guinness as if your life depended on it,' said Severus with a tone of amusement. Still, he peaked around the corner of the bathroom door to make sure Remus was okay. 'Need anything?'

'A hangover cure, perhaps?' said Remus as he wiped along the sides of his mouth. 'But I bet you don't have one of those hiding in your backpack.'

'Not in my backpack,' said Severus, 'but I do have something else that might help you.'

'Right now I'll gladly take anything,' said Remus. By holding himself up against the wall, he managed to stumble his way back to his bed and slumped down, keeping his eyes closed.

In the meantime, Severus had filled a glass with water from the tap and shoved it into Remus's hands.

Remus carefully opened his eyes to look down and let out a stifled groan. 'You got to be kidding me.'

'It's what madam Pomfrey gave me when I got a hangover,' said Severus. 'It's not ideal but it sort of works.'

With great effort, Remus managed to drink the whole glass, but did not look remotely better afterwards. 'My parents are coming to the Ministry today,' he said softly. 'They can't see me like this.'

'We'll just tell them you got a bad case of food poisoning,' Severus suggested. 'But honestly, your parents should be the least of your concerns for what we are about to face.'

Remus let out a frustrated sigh, and Severus knew it was because he had just remembered why they had gone undercover inside a club to begin with.

'You still need to use the bathroom or is it safe for me to go and take a shower?' Severus asked.

'Go ahead,' Remus said sleepily. 'I'm just going to lay here and…sleep a little…longer.'

It was a good thing Severus always kept a sleeping potion at hand. Water may be a good remedy against the headaches that alcohol induced, but so was sleep. A few drops had been enough to knock Remus out for at least another hour, and Severus hoped it was enough for him to feel a little better once he woke up again.

As Severus started to wash the stale cigarette scent out of his hair, something within him was starting to grow a little jealous. Remus's family was coming over to support him, but not his own. Chances were that he was going to receive and Order of Merlin in the presence of a few renowned potioneers and the Belby family, and a longing to have Lily by his side to share this moment with him was starting to grow overwhelming.

Feeling frustrated about the whole situation, Severus forcefully closed the shower tap and quickly dressed himself in the best Muggle clothing he got.

Carefully wrapped up in a t-shirt, Severus unfolded the two-way mirror that Lily had given him, and headed downstairs towards the pub area of the Leaky Cauldron. There, in a dark corner at the very back of the pub, he sat down and balanced the mirror against a mug.

'Lily,' Severus whispered. 'Lily are you awake?'

'Good morning, Sev!' Lily answered enthusiastically.

Severus could see that she was already fully dressed and sitting at the Gryffindor table. 'You're up awfully early,' he said, 'or did you forget that it's the weekend?'

Lily looked up in an innocent manner. 'Something along the lines of OWLs and starting to take them serious,' she said.

'Well look who is finally growing a moral conscious,' said Severus with a smile.

'I can tell something's bothering you,' said Lily. 'Care to tell me what's wrong?'

Severus shrugged, as if he was trying to say that it didn't matter, but he knew better than to protest. 'Remus's family is coming over,' he said. 'I wish you could've been here too.'

Lily shot Severus a sad smile. 'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I would've given anything to be able to be there, but having a brilliant boyfriend just isn't good enough of an excuse to leave the school.'

'I know,' said Severus, already knowing that this conversation wasn't going to lead up to anything. 'Doesn't make me want you around any less.'

'Sev,' said Lily softly as she tried to reach through the mirror, 'I will call you again tonight, okay? Just go out and have fun with Remus while you're out there.'

Mentioning that they've had an overdose of fun last night would be a stupid move, considering it wouldn't fit into the timeframe of the train journey from Hogsmeade to London. 'Maybe we'll go visit the British Museum,' he said.

'That would be fun,' said Lily. 'Do you know when exactly you have to be at the Ministry today?'

'Damocles said he'd meet us at the Ministry around noon,' Severus replied. 'I suppose some of the potioneers we met at Slughorn's party will be present as well.'

'I heard Potter say that his father will be there,' said Lily. 'That'll give you a great opportunity to talk about that starters capital he talked about during the Young Order meeting we had.'

'I'll definitely do that,' said Severus, getting a bit distracted by Lily's bouncing curls. From behind Lily he could see professor Slughorn approaching the Gryffindor table.

'Miss Evans,' professor Slughorn called out, and Lily turned around to greet him. 'And hello Severus, how is everything down there in London?'

'Fine,' said Severus, fighting hard not to yawn too loudly. 'I think I'm going to order some coffee and breakfast.'

'Very well,' said professor Slughorn. 'Miss Evans, can we uhm—discuss that thing we talked about earlier?'

Severus shot Lily a raised eyebrow, but all Lily did was shake her head. 'I'll tell you all about it later, Sev,' she said. 'I promise.'

They quickly shared their goodbyes, and Severus found himself looking at his own face again. He put the mirror face down on the table, and ordered himself an English breakfast with a pot of coffee.

Lily may not be able to be here when the whole business regarding the wolfsbane potion started rolling, but at least it felt good to be able to talk to her, and so Severus started to eat his breakfast in peace, feeling a little better than he did before.

…

'There was something in the water you gave me, wasn't there?' Remus asked Severus as he joined him at the breakfast table with a plate full of hot steaming food.

'Just a few drops of a sleeping potion I made,' said Severus. 'And by the looks of it, it worked, considering your massive appetite.'

'Thank you for that,' said Remus, now stuffing his face with baked potatoes.

'No problem,' said Severus, and unfolded today's Daily Prophet onto the table.

'Any news?' Remus asked.

'There hasn't been any news for quite some time now,' said Severus, 'which I find more worrisome than when there is news.'

Remus shot Severus a questionable look. 'Why is that?' he asked.

'That's the thing,' said Severus as he lowered his voice. 'For months, the most interesting thing have been the crossword puzzles on the back page. There hasn't been any news aside from Rita Skeeter's usual rubbish, and I believe a lot of actual news is being held back.'

All Remus did was look sheepishly at Severus, as if it was still too early for these kinds of dark speculations.

'What I'm trying to say, Remus,' Severus added as he looked him in the eye, and leaned in a little closer. 'Is that nothing newsworthy has been published since we know that there are Death Eaters among the employees of the Ministry, which so happens to be the one source of magical news we have.'

Remus nodded in understanding. 'I get it,' he said. 'What you're saying is that they're probably hiding important information from the public.'

'Exactly,' said Severus, 'and I don't like it one bit.'

'I hope you don't mind me saying this, Severus,' said Remus after he swallowed another bite, 'but I feel something starting to throb at the back of my head, and I would appreciate it if we could lay off the speculations for later today.'

'You're right,' Severus growled and tossed the paper aside. 'And someone already did the bloody crossword puzzle.'

'You're a wizard,' Remus pointed out. 'Why don't you just erase the answers and start over?'

'Because we can't use our wands outside of school,' said Severus dryly, and remembered that he could probably still use his ability to use wandless magic. He preferred not to however, since Remus knowing about his ability to apparate was bad enough.

'Fair enough,' said Remus. 'Any idea how we're going to get into the Ministry of Magic?'

'The Ministry of Magic is located underneath Whitehall if I'm not mistaken,' said Severus. 'It's roughly a ten minute walk down south from here.'

'Can't we just take the floo network and floo ourselves in though?' Remus asked as he pointed at the pub's open hearth.

'I'm not sure,' said Severus. 'I think it's for employees only. There should be a telephone box out there somewhere serving as a visitor's entrance.'

'Sounds good to me,' said Remus. 'We got little less than an hour left, so I suggest we got get our belongings and prepare for today.'

A moment later, they were heading their way towards Whitehall, and against their expectations it had started to rain.

'Are you really wearing that to the Ministry?' Remus asked as he observed Severus's clothes.

'My wardrobe consists of school robes and band shirts,' said Severus, 'and since I refuse to wear my school robes outside of school, the Ministry will just have to put up with it.'

Remus didn't say anything, but just smiled at the thought of Severus walking into the Ministry of Magic looking like a Muggle. 'I think I see a telephone box over there,' he said. 'Could that possibly be the entrance?'

A red telephone box was standing behind a heavily graffitied wall. 'It's the only one in sight,' said Severus. 'Lets give it a try, shall we.'

Together they squeezed into the telephone box and closed the door. It was a tight fit, but fortunately for Severus and Remus they were both lanky enough to leave room to breath.

'Now what?' Remus asked.

'I think there was a number that we had to dial,' said Severus, trying to dig deep into his memory to see if he remembered how it was done.

'I'll check the phone book,' said Remus, and picked up the heavy book that was hanging from a rope at the side of the phone. He skimmed through it, and eventually seemed to have found it, hiding under the letter "M".

'Ministry of Magic,' Remus said as he showed Severus the name, hiding in plain sight among other business names.

Severus picked up the receiver and looked up at the dial. 'Just say it out loud and I'll type it in.'

'It's six…two…four…another four…and another two,' said Remus.

Once the dial whirled back into place, a cool voice started to echo through the telephone box. 'Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business.'

'Uhm…Severus Snape,' said Severus. 'I'm here with Remus Lupin for a meeting with potioneers.'

'Thank you,' said the voice. 'Visitor, please take the badge and attach it to the front of your robes.'

Two square silver badges rattled out of the metal chute, baring their names and the reason for their visit.

'Visitors to the Ministry,' continued the voice, 'you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the Atrium.'

They pinned them onto their clothes, the telephone box started to shudder, and sank slowly into the ground. For a moment nothing but darkness surrounded them, but eventually a light started to appear through the telephone box's windows.

The door of the telephone box sprung open, and Severus and Remus quickly made their way towards the end of the enormous, splendidly decorated Atrium.

'What a beautiful place,' said Remus as he looked around in fascination.

'It certainly is,' said Severus, not surprised at how Remus was admiring the historical site.

Halfway down the hall they passed the Fountain of Magical Brethren, and at the very end they found the Security Desk.

'We're here to register our wands,' said Severus to the witch who was sitting behind the desk.

The witch held out her hand, and Severus and Remus both handed their wands to her.

First she scanned Severus's wand by dropping it in a strange brass instrument. 'Made of holly, eleven inches, phoenix-feather core, been in use for nearly a year. Is that correct?' she asked.

'That's correct,' said Severus, suddenly reminded again that this wand was one that had once belonged to Lily's son.

'Let's see here,' the witch said as she dropped Remus's wand onto the brass scales. 'Made of cypress, ten and a quarter inch, containing one single unicorn hair, been in use for nearly five years. Is that correct?'

'That is correct,' Remus confirmed, and pocketed his wand again when the witch handed it back to him.

'I think the people you're looking for are already standing behind you,' the witch said with a smile.

Damocles, together with his wife, newborn son, and several people who Severus recognized from Slughorn's party, were already there.

'It's good to see you two again,' said Damocles. 'Please follow us. We managed to get our own conference room for the day.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Whitehall (road) is directly connected to 10 Downing Street, which we all know as the Muggle British prime minister's house. (Since April 4th, 1976, Leonard James Callaghan of Cardiff was the Muggle prime minister.) The road is also connected to Parliament Square. In other words, the Ministry of Magic is directly located underneath the British political center.
> 
> A/N 62442 was the number that spelled out "magic" in "old-fashioned" texting.


	103. Inside the Ministry

In a corner of the conference room, Remus was chatting with Catriona while admiring Bronwyn, whom she promptly had shoved into his arms.

Severus looked at how naturally it came to Remus to hold a child, and deep down his wished that both Remus and Tonks had survived the second wizarding war so they could watch their own son grow. Unfortunately, that was a thing he never got to find out.

Lily had been right about Potter's father being here, as were Rubens Winikus and mister Mulpepper. It didn't take long before mister Winikus and Mulpepper ended up in a heated argument on profit marketing, causing Fleamont and Damocles to take a step back and talk amongst each other.

'The minster himself is supposed to meet us here later,' said Damocles with a proud look on his face.

In a flash of panic, Severus started to recount every Minister for Magic he has known over the past years. Millicent Bagnold was the first name that popped into his head. She was the one responsible for the successful Death Eater trials after the Dark Lord was supposedly vanquished. The ones he had been a part off, too.

But it couldn't have been her, since Damocles clearly stated that the current minister was a man, so it had to be her predecessor. He also remembered Eugenia Jenkins because of the Squib Rights marches from, well, what was now a decade ago. The only one he could think of was Harold Minchum. A hard-lined man who had been unable to stop the rise of the Dark Lord's power, despite taking drastic measures to strengthen security, particularly in Azkaban.

'Mister Minchum you mean?' Severus asked carefully. 'Is there something he wishes to speak with us about?'

'I suppose so,' said Damocles with a shrug. 'The only thing I know is that he's bringing along a couple of people that wish to speak with us.'

Good. So it was Harold Minchum who was currently in office. 'Any idea who those people might be?' Severus asked.

'I know one of them is a reporter,' said Damocles. 'Don't know about the other ones though.'

Severus would bet all the gold he had that it was Rita Skeeter who was coming to visit with her Quick-Quotes Quill. The one he was really hoping for to show up however, was Dolores Umbridge. If anyone was capable of causing an uproar regarding werewolves, it had to be that candy wrapped toad.

'Have you heard anything from my son, Severus?' Fleamont asked.

'The last thing him and I discussed was related to finding a starters capital,' said Severus. 'I suppose the minister himself may have a few words on that.'

Fleamont nodded in understanding. 'I was thinking about financing a portion of this project, and so is mister Winikus here,' he said as he pointed at an angered looking Winikus. 'Not sure about mister Mulpepper since he's already into the nonprofit business, but he does have very useful connections when it comes to acquiring special ingredients.'

'Looks like a win-win situation,' said Severus, and felt his hopes starting to rise with the prospect of actually being able to bring the potion on the market without too much effort.

There was a knocking on the door, and a moment later an older man with harsh lines on his face entered, followed by Rita Skeeter, as expected, and…Arthur Weasley?

While everyone did their formal round of shaking hands with mister Minchum, Rita Skeeter sat down at the table, her acid green quill already in hand.

'Snape, is that you?' Arthur asked as they enthusiastically shook hands.

'Just call me, Severus,' said Severus. 'It's been a long time since I last saw you.'

'You look so different since the last time I saw you,' said Arthur as he sat down on the opposite side of the table. 'Heard from Erwin you and Lily are a thing now. That's quite exciting.'

'It is,' said Severus, unable to suppress a grin. 'Mind if I ask what brings you here?'

'I assist the minister from time to time,' Arthur explained, not looking all too pleased about it.

'Excuse me, Arthur,' mister Minchum said as he interrupted their conversation. 'I wish to speak to mister Belby and mister Snape in private, please.'

Arthur shot the minister an angry glare when he was looking in another direction. It was obvious how poor of an excuse it was, since Rita's quill was already flying over a piece of parchment, documenting every move that was being made.

'I will see you again later tonight,' said Arthur as he gave Severus a pad on the shoulder, and made his way out of the conference room.

'I suggest we just get down to business,' said Minchum in a bored manner, and looked around as he had much better things to do. 'Mister Belby and I have exchanged quite a few letters over the past couple of months regarding the potion that the two of you have created. Now, the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creature holds the, I must admit, rather poorly maintained Werewolf Registry.'

Remus and Catriona were both looking up at the mention of the Werewolf Registry. Severus remembered a conversation when they were in Edinburgh, and Catriona talked about already having a small network of werewolves around her.

'Minster,' said Catriona carefully, 'Is there any way I could look into this Werewolf Registry you speak of?'

'I'll come back to you on that later,' said Minchum without looking at her. 'There's one more thing that I wanted to talk to the two of you about,' he continued. 'Considering the fact that this potion is groundbreaking on many levels, I cannot deny that giving the both of you have earned an Order of Merlin second class, but there is a problem that comes with that.'

Rita's quill had started to form a blur from excitement, and it brought up something that Severus had thought long and hard about before. He knew that receiving an Order of Merlin would be nearly inevitable. If he denied to receive one, which is something that he previously had settled his mind on, it would most likely cause more publicity than when he would actually receive it. There really was no winning in the situation.

'And what would that problem be, sir?' Severus asked as politely as he could.

'I think you and I both know very well that most werewolves are not siding with the ministry, mister Snape,' said Minchum darkly. 'This potion may come as a blessing to some, but lets not forget that this potion can also very easily be used against us by those with ill wishes.'

'Then I suggest you listen to what misses Belby has to say about this,' said Severus sharply, starting to dislike the minister with each passing word that was forced through his mouth. 'She has developed a plan to recruit as many werewolves as possible over to our side.'

'Very well,' said Minchum in a very non convincing manner. 'The ceremony will be held tomorrow at noon inside the headquarters of the Wizengamot on the second floor. Now if you'll excuse me,' he said as he stood up from the table, 'I have more important matters to tend to.'

Severus could feel himself growing angry. 'And what exactly would those matters be, _minster_?' he sneered.

'I'm afraid this is something that does not concern a teenager,' Minchum snapped back. 'I bid you all a good day.'

With a twirl of his cloak, minister Minchum turned around and dashed out of the conference room. Arthur, who had been standing behind the door the entire time, jumped up as the door was being slammed open.

Minchum passed Arthur as if he was made out of air, giving him the free range to join the conversation again.

'Don't you have anywhere else to be?' Severus snapped angrily at Rita, who was just putting away her quill and parchment back in her purse.

'Not to worry,' said Rita sweetly, pretending as if she hadn't caught on that Severus was in a foul mood. 'I've heard more than enough for today.' With exaggerated grace, she stood up, shot Severus a wink and headed for the door that Arthur was still holding open for her. 'I'll see you again tomorrow, young man.'

Arthur let out a sigh of relief once he closed the door behind her. Mister Winikus and mister Mulpepper had been looking wide-eyed at the whole scene that had unfolded in front of them. 'What could possibly be more important than two people receiving an Order of Merlin?' Mulpepper asked carefully.

Arthur did not take his eyes of Severus at Mulpepper's question. 'Do you remember the name Wilkes, Severus?' he asked.

Of course Severus remembered that name. Wilkes had only been a few years ahead of him, and practically led the movement to recruit new followers for the Dark Lord after Malfoy had graduated.

'I do,' said Severus stiffly, wondering what was story was going to follow.

'There are two reasons why I'm going to share this with all of you,' said Arthur with a low voice. 'The first one, Severus, is because is trust Lily's judgment about you. And two, because I know that crimson clad cow who was just penning up your story here has been ordered not to write about it in the newspapers.'

Everyone in the room was now listening thoroughly at what Arthur had to say.

'Your old friend has been caught using an Unforgivable Curse on another employee,' said Arthur. 'And this is not the first time a similar occurrence has happened. More and more of these bastards are being caught working at the Ministry.'

'He's not my friend,' Severus pointed out, 'but I most certainly understand your concern regarding all this. The newspapers have been too quiet lately.'

Arthur sat back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. 'It's all very frustrating, to say the least.'

'I have an idea,' said Damocles to everyone in the room. 'If there are any plans made so far regarding the production of this potion, I would like for everyone to share those now. If not, then I suggest we continue this meeting tomorrow morning.'

'I would like to go after mister Minchum,' said Catriona determinedly as she was walking around with Bronwyn in her arms. 'Whether he claims he has the time for it or not. I need to get my hands on that Werewolf Register.'

'And I suggest that mister Winikus, Mulpepper and I continue to discuss some financial matters,' said Fleamont. 'I truly believe that if we play this right, mister Winikus could offer us space inside one of his potion factories, and mister Mulpepper could find a way to import cheap supplies from abroad due to his extensive connections.'

Mister Winikus and Mulpepper both nodded along in agreement. 'I've got one apothecary that's currently having a hard time holding up,' said Mulpepper. 'Perhaps we could find a way to repurpose it by giving it a new destination.'

Remus, who so far had remained quiet since the arrival of mister Minchum, spoke up. 'I'd like to see more of the Ministry if that's possible,' he said carefully.

'How about I take you and Severus to my office,' Arthur suggested. 'I can tell you a little bit more about the Ministry along the way, and then these grown-ups can continue to stretch out their plans.'

Remus was nodding along enthusiastically at Arthur's plan, and Severus found it a good idea to leave the business side of it up to those who already had a foundation to work with.

They followed Arthur out of the conference room and headed for the elevators. 'I haven't even properly said hello to you yet,' said Arthur as he turned to Remus. 'It's good to see you again.'

'It's been a long time indeed,' said Remus. 'How has Molly been holding up?'

'Extremely busy with the children,' said Arthur as he pushed a button on the elevator to lower themselves to the second floor, and started to descend. 'Can I tell you two something in confidence?'

'Haven't you just done that already?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

'It's more of a personal thing,' said Arthur with a hint of pride. 'Molly's pregnant with our third child.'

'That's wonderful news,' said Remus with delight.

'Congratulations,' said Severus. 'Any idea what you're going to name him yet?'

'Well we don't know if it's going to be a boy or not,' said Arthur, though not entirely convinced of his own words. 'But Molly and I haven't thought of anything yet, so if you have any suggestions I'd be more than happy to hear them.'

'Percival,' said Severus without skipping a beat. He managed to keep a straight face as he said it, but only just. If he had done the math correctly, the Weasley's third child had been named Percy, and was the one who had a rather serious attitude compared to the other six.

Now it was Arthur's turn to raise his eyebrow. 'Percival? How did you come up with that?'

'Wasn't Percival one of king Arthur's knights of the round table?' said Severus. 'It just seems fitting.'

'Still convinced it's going to be a boy are we?' said Arthur. The elevator had stopped and the doors swung open, revealing the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. 'I do like the sound of it though. I'll suggest it to Molly once I get home.'

They followed Arthur down the department until they reached a sign that read Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office. 'This is where I work,' he said. 'It's not much, but feel free to look around.'

Remus immediately dashed off towards the first portrait he saw hanging on a wall, leaving Severus and Arthur to sit by his desk.

'Going to enjoy your freedom while it lasts, Severus?' Arthur asked.

'What do you mean?' asked Severus with a frown.

'You're about to become the youngest member the Order of Merlin has ever known,' Arthur pointed out. 'Surely you don't think Rita Skeeter would've shown up had it only been mister Belby, do you?'

Fuck. Of all the things Severus had contemplated that could work in either his advantage or against it, he had not given his age a single thought. 'I hadn't thought of that,' he said, feeling a slight headache forming in the back of his skull.

Arthur looked at Severus as if he could not believe what he was hearing. 'You're about to gain some fame, Severus,' he said. 'This is something that will not go unnoticed, on either side.'

Severus didn't need to ask in order to understand what Arthur was referencing to. 'I have no idea how any of this is going to unfold,' he said in defeat, 'so I'm just going to let it happen, and see from there.'

'As long as you remember to use your newly acquired fame wisely,' said Arthur. 'If it's going to happen, you might as well make good use of it.'

'I'll remember that,' said Severus, finding Arthur's words of wisdom to be surprisingly useful. 'Have you seen Lucius Malfoy or Dolores Umbridge around by any chance?'

'Miss Umbridge is not in office today if I'm not mistaken,' Arthur said with a sour look on his face. 'Malfoy, well, he only shows up when he feels like which so happened to be yesterday.'

'When Wilkes was arrested,' Severus mumbled to himself.

'You and I probably know more than most other employees around here,' said Arthur sadly. 'But alas, as long as there isn't any evidence that Malfoy is working for the other side, there isn't much that we can do.'

Arthur leaned in a little closer. 'Any particular reason you're asking for Umbridge?'

Severus nodded in Remus's general direction, who was now having a lively conversation with the portrait. 'She hates half-breeds,' he whispered.

'So Remus is a werewolf,' Arthur mumbled back. 'I've had a suspicion before. Turns out it's true.'

'Remus,' Severus called out. 'When exactly are your parents coming over?'

'They're meeting us at the Leaky Cauldron tonight,' said Remus. 'Around eight or nine I believe.'

'Alright,' said Severus. 'Do we have any other plans for today?'

Remus shrugged. 'We can do whatever, I suppose.'

'I personally don't feel up to working much more today,' said Arthur with a gleam in his eye. 'How about I show you two a bit more of the Ministry, go out to eat somewhere, and then I take you two back to the Leaky Cauldron?'

'I'm game,' said Remus.

'I'd like that,' said Severus, figuring that knowing a bit more about the ins and outs of the Ministry may come in handy just in case.

As it turned out, the Ministry was even bigger than he had initially imagined. They spent the remainder of their afternoon walking through various halls and departments. Arthur was talking vividly with Remus about all the historical sights around the place, and needless to say, there were many. In the meantime, Severus looked around aimlessly to see if he recognized any Death Eaters, but there weren't any faces present that he could link with his past.

It wasn't until Severus suggested that it was time to grab a bite to eat that they finally left the Ministry, and so they squeezed together into the visitor entrance and made their way back above ground.

It was already near nine o'clock when they finally had managed to go back to the Leaky Cauldron, and only because Remus had suddenly remembered that his parents had to be there by now.

When they opened the door, two people, both of whom Remus reassembled a lot, were just taking off their coats.

'Mum, dad,' Remus said happily, and give them both a hug. 'Sorry we're late.'

'It's fine dear,' his mother said as she kissed him on the cheek. 'We only just arrived ourselves.'

Severus was about to introduce himself to Remus's parents, when a large man who was standing behind them caught his eye. 'Professor Slughorn?' he asked in confusion.

'Good to see you, Severus,' said Slughorn as he gave Severus a pat on the shoulder. 'But I bet you'd rather see your girlfriend.'

Severus took a step aside to look around professor Slughorn. There, sitting on a couch in front of the hearth, were Erwin and Lily. He didn't even get the time to be surprised, as Lily had already stood up and flung her arms around him. 'You honestly believed Dumbledore wouldn't let me be here to share this moment with you?' Lily laughed. 'You daft man.'

Severus relaxed his head against her shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around her. 'I'm so glad you're here,' he said softly. 'You have no idea how glad I am to see you here.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Eugenia Jenkins 1968-1975 / Harold Minchum 1975-1980 / Millicent Bagnold 1980-1990 / Cornelius Fudge 1990-1996 etcetera.
> 
> A/N Order of Merlin first class is mostly handed out due to combat related things. I suppose it's kind of like receiving a Medal of Honour. Remus received one posthumously for his role during the second war.
> 
> Order of Merlin second class is only known to have been given to Newt Scamander for his services and study on magizoology, and since Damocles and Severus's research somewhat related to that, it seemed the most fitting. Cannonically we don't know which class Damocles actually received.
> 
> The only known Order of Merlin third class was given to Gilderoy Lockhart.
> 
> A/N Percy was born on the 22nd of August, 1976


	104. Meeting at the Leaky Cauldron

'Are you doing okay, Sev?' Lily asked as she took a step back after their embrace.

Severus had been holding on to Lily a bit longer and tighter than he normally would. 'I'm just a bit stressed about it all,' he said truthfully. He looked up and saw Erwin standing behind Lily, smiling up at him.

'It's good to see you too, son,' said Erwin with a tone of amusement. 'Didn't expect to see us here, did you?'

Severus shook his head. 'Not at all,' he said, still taken aback by Lily and Erwin's sudden appearance. 'I should probably introduce myself to Remus's parents.'

Erwin caught sight of Arthur and walked away in order to greet him.

'Severus,' Remus said happily, 'this is my mum Hope, and my dad Lyall. Mum and dad, this is Severus.'

The moment Severus shook hands with Hope, tears started to appear in her eyes. 'It is so good to meet you,' she said with the same smile Severus knew so well from Remus.

Not quite sure what to say, Severus turned to Lyall, who, though without tears, was looking equally emotional. 'Remus has told us all about you,' he said as he firmly shook Severus's hand. 'It's quite an honour to meet you, really.'

'Thank you,' said Severus softly. 'I uhm—' from the corner of his eye he saw Damocles with his wife and child coming down the stairs. 'I think there's someone else you'd like to meet as well.'

Quickly, Severus shuffled away and sat down at a round table that was large enough for the whole company to join, and looked at everyone who was present.

Not quite understanding why, the whole situation that was unfolding in front of Severus was making him feel uncomfortable. Everyone was connecting through the knowledge of what he and Damocles had created, and the fact that Lily was now fawning over Bronwyn wasn't making it any better.

Severus placed his elbows onto the table, supported his head in his hands and closed his eyes. Not being able to see, didn't mean that he couldn't hear. He could hear Damocles retelling everything that had occurred down at the Ministry, and after a while he subconsciously placed his hands over his ears, trying to block out everything that was being said.

A hand was placed softly onto Severus's leg, and he knew Lily had gone and sat down beside him. 'It's perfectly okay if you want to go upstairs and disappear for a moment,' she whispered to him.

'Wouldn't that be rude?' Severus mumbled back. 'Most people here came to see me.'

'There's still plenty of time for that tomorrow,' said Lily. 'I will come and check on you later, okay? I'll tell everyone that you're not feeling well.'

'That would be a lie,' said Severus with a growl.

'No, Sev,' said Lily soft but firmly, 'that would be the truth.'

It took a lot of effort to restrain himself from banging his fists on the table. With a rough push of his chair, Severus stood up and headed for the staircase. He didn't need to look around in order to know that everyone's eyes were staring into his back. Not that he cared.

With a slam of the door, he kicked his shoes off and lowered himself on the bed.

He sat there for a while with his fingers clasped firmly into his hair. His thoughts swirling around into a negative spiral at the speed of a hurricane.

A part of him still wanted to deny the Order of Merlin. His mind even went as far as contemplating running off and live in a cabin in a forest, far away from all the troubles of the world.

Not that he would, of course. Not when, through miraculous reasons, Lily was finally back in his life.

'Sev,' Lily's voice called out from a distance. 'Sev are you in here somewhere?'

It took a moment before he realised that Lily was sitting right beside him on the bed. 'I'm here,' he said as he blinked with his eyes, and looked around the room as if he was seeing it for the very first time.

He turned his head and found Lily looking him deep in his eyes, as if she was trying to find out what had been lingering in his mind.

'Care to tell me what's going on?' she asked.

Severus allowed himself to lean up against her, and Lily returned the favour by wrapping her arms around him.

'I'm not looking forward to any of this,' said Severus.

'Care to explain?' asked Lily. She ran the tips of her fingers gently across his back, and for the first time today, he was starting to relax a little.

'I am about to become the youngest person to ever receive an Order of Merlin,' said Severus bitterly. 'Meaning that my name, and my past, are going to be spread all over the newspapers.'

'I see,' said Lily calmly. 'Now whats the worst thing that could happen?'

'Lily,' said Severus in a very serious manner, 'you do understand that this means the whole of wizarding Britain will know my name?'

'I thought they already did after what happened to you last year,' Lily pointed out.

'The fact that a Muggle was held responsible for the death of a witch is what mattered at the time,' said Severus sourly. 'Not the fact that I'm their son, but I bet that Skeeter woman is bound the connect the dots and smother it all across the front page of the Daily Prophet tomorrow.'

'That Skeeter woman?' Lily asked with a raised eyebrow. 'You mean the same reporter who was present at your fathers trial?'

'The very same,' said Severus. 'She came along with the minister to write a report. I highly doubt Damocles's name will even be mentioned.'

Lily let out a sigh and pulled him in a little closer. 'For once, I have no idea what to tell you to make you feel better.'

'That's fine,' said Severus, and the corners of his mouth curl up into a smile as he felt her warmth press through his shirt. 'I am just so glad that you are here with me to share it.'

Severus noticed that his wand was starting to press uncomfortably into his thigh, and pulled it out of his pocket.

'Can I take a closer look?' Lily asked.

'Sure,' said Severus, and handed Lily his holly wand. He hadn't given his new wand much thought until he had to register it at the security desk this morning. It was still peculiar how this wand had once belonged to Lily's son, and how it was connected to the wand that the Dark Lord owned. 'I still like how you were the one who picked it out for me.'

'Maybe I should become a wandmaker,' said Lily as she twirled the wand between her fingers. 'Or maybe I just got lucky finding you a proper wand.'

'I think you would make a fine wandmaker if you really wanted to,' said Severus as he started to play with one of her curls.

Lily shrugged. 'I'm not sure about anything now that there's a war,' she said.

'That shouldn't stop you from doing what you want to do,' said Severus clearly. 'If you want to be a potioneer, you will be a potioneer. If you want to be a wandmaker, you will be wandmaker. If you'd rather have three or more children like the Weasley's do, and want to take care of them, you will be a mother—'

'—Three or more children?' Lily interrupted him. Did you miscalculate, or are you saying Molly's pregnant again?'

Severus could smack himself for saying what he had just said. 'I thought Arthur had already told you,' he said with a hint of shame. 'He told Remus and I that they're expecting a third.'

Lily's mouth fell open in surprise and a sparkle appeared in her eye. 'This is wonderful news!' she said sweetly, immediately followed by a groan. 'And I haven't even met the other two yet. I can't wait to meet them this summer.'

Lily was looking away dreamily, and Severus had a feeling where her mind had wandered off.

'Have you actually met Bronwyn?' Lily asked. 'He's such a sweet little thing.'

Severus shook his head. 'I haven't,' he said admittedly. 'The last thing I want to do is hold an infant.'

'What is it that you're so afraid of, Sev?' Lily asked curiously. 'I understand your personal problem with being a father, but this is just about holding a baby.'

'Alright,' said Severus firmly, 'just close your eyes, and try to imagine me carrying a child in my arms.'

Lily did as she was told, and against Severus's plan, a small smile appeared on her face.

'I was hoping you'd find the thought of it ridiculous,' said Severus dryly.

'I don't,' said Lily with a shrug. 'The only thing I keep seeing is you with a child that looks just like you.'

'Poor thing,' said Severus, not at all pleased with the idea of any child being cursed with his looks.

That seemed to make Lily giggle, and Severus took it as a cue to sit back up straight. 'To be honest with you, Lily,' he said as he looked down at the mattress he was sitting on, 'the very thought of children just makes me cringe.'

'Maybe that'll change some day,' said Lily as she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. 'But as we said before, we're far too young to even think about these sorts of things.'

Severus kept looking down, and realised that it wasn't the mattress he was looking at, but at Lily's belly, and felt his stomach twist at the thought that it may one day not be as flat as it is now.

Not quite understanding why he even did it, Severus reached out and placed his left hand over the lower part of her belly.

'That feels comfortable,' said Lily as she placed her own hand on top of his.

'I'm sorry,' said Severus as he tried to pull his hand away, but Lily held him back. 'I don't mean anything by it.'

'I understand that,' said Lily. 'As do I. I think it feels comfortable in the same way you like it when I run my fingers across your back.'

Severus stopped trying to pull his hand away, and instead he lifted a bit of her shirt to expose her skin. He leaned in forward, and kissed her right above her beltline.

Lily must be enjoying it, as she tossed Severus's wand aside and lay flat down on the bed. 'Can you do that again?' she asked softly.

Severus didn't need to think twice about it. He lifted her shirt a little further so that her whole belly was exposed, and softly started to plant kisses all over.

A soft moan came from Lily's mouth, and a throbbing feeling started to form in Severus's lower abdomen. He flung one leg over her, causing him to sit on his knees while she was lying underneath him.

Her hair was spread out around her, and she was exposing her neck as she smiled up at him.

'Is this really something that we want to do?' Severus asked her as he took both of her hands in his.

'I've wanted this for some time now,' said Lily while looking directly into his eyes. 'So I'm ready if you're ready.'

Severus wasn't sure if there was ever a time in which you could be entirely ready to have sex, but it felt right, and that was all that mattered.

He let go of her hands and leaned in closer. He used his elbows to support his weight as he kissed her. First on her lips, and then he started to work his way down her cheek and to the side of her neck.

Lily was fumbling with his t-shirt, and Severus decided to help her by taking his shirt off and tossing it aside, suddenly becoming hyperaware of his own skinny body.

Lily ran her hands up and down his chest, feeling the bit of chest hair that he knew would grow to be much more as he got older.

'It's a bit unfair don't you think,' said Severus.

'What is?' asked Lily, obviously enjoying herself as she touched him.

'That you got to see me naked but I never got to see you,' said Severus, looking hopeful.

'Would you like to see me naked before we do anything?' Lily suggested.

'I would like that,' said Severus. Not because it was fairer this way, but because he really wanted to see her, all of her, before he would go any further.

Severus leaned in closer again, and felt his own skin press against the warm skin of her belly. He was about to lift her shirt up a bit further when suddenly—

'—I AM SO, SO SORRY!' Remus barked, and immediately turned around and covered his eyes. 'Erwin's heading this way too so you better hurry.'

Severus had nearly fallen of the bed from shock at Remus's sudden appearance, and quickly tossed his t-shirt back on.

Lily had quickly sat up straight, pushed her shirt down and attempted to tame her hair.

'What the hell, Remus?' Severus snarled at him in disbelief.

'Is it safe for me to turn around again?' Remus asked carefully. 'Look I'm really sorry it's just that it's late and—'

'—it's okay Remus,' said Lily hastily. 'Just come and sit down on the bed in case dad barges in.'

All three of them sat down on the bed properly just in time, because Erwin really did barge in a moment later.

'Is everything alright, Severus?' Erwin asked, and fortunately he did not seem to catch on about anything that had just happened a moment before.

'I'm alright,' said Severus. 'We can talk about it tomorrow if that's okay with you?'

'Will do,' said Erwin. 'Lily, are you coming to bed as well? It's getting late and we got a long day ahead of us.'

'I will,' said Lily. 'Goodnight Sev,' she said and give him a kiss on his cheek. 'Goodnight Remus.'

With a small wave Lily disappeared to her own room, leaving Severus to sit awkwardly on the bed with Remus.

'Do you really think you'll be okay tomorrow?' Erwin asked Severus with concern.

'I honestly don't know,' said Severus, and was having a hard time looking Erwin in the eye. 'I should probably go to sleep.'

'Alright,' said Erwin with a nod, but didn't look entirely convinced. 'Have a goodnight you two.'

Erwin closed the door behind them, leaving Severus and Remus to sit alongside each other in silence.

'I am so sorry,' Remus said again with a painful look in his eyes. 'If I had known I—'

'—don't be sorry,' said Severus, and a grin had started to form on his face. 'I'm actually kind of glad that you walked in.'

Remus shot him a puzzled look. 'How can you possibly be glad about that?' he asked.

'Because I had absolutely no idea what I was doing,' said Severus, and couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous the whole situation was.

Severus's laughter must have been infectious, as Remus started to laugh along with him.

'Also,' said Severus after he wiped away a tear from laughing, 'I am so glad it was you and not Erwin. I highly doubt I would've lived to see the next day.'

'And here I am thinking you didn't want to receive that Order,' said Remus with a snort. 'Still though, I can't help but feel like I broke up something special.'

'Can I ask you something?' said Severus, feeling himself growing more serious again.

'If it's about sex than Im afraid I can't help you,' said Remus. 'I'm not exactly an expert on the matter, if you know what I mean.'

'Yes and no,' said Severus. 'It's just—do you ever truly know when you're ready for it?'

'I only know that if you're not entirely sure, you shouldn't do it,' said Remus. 'But as I've never reached that point I honestly can't tell you how it feels to be ready.'

Remus's words lingered on in Severus's head as they prepared themselves for bed. A part of him wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to have sex just yet, but he also wasn't sure if that little bit of doubt would ever go away unless he actually did it. Either way, it was something for him to take into consideration and talk about with Lily.

For now, he had bigger things to worry about.


	105. The Order of Merlin I

'Mornin', Severus,' Erwin's mumbled. He was sitting at the same table Severus sat at yesterday morning, with a complete overview of the rest of the pub.

'Good morning,' Severus mumbled back, and was pleased to see that a pot of coffee was already on the table.

Erwin was hiding his face behind a brand-new copy of the Daily Prophet, and didn't move a muscle.

'What's the damage?'asked Severus as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Erwin lowered the paper, bit his lip and flipped it around for Severus to see.

Immediately Severus put down his coffee to prevent is from falling, and let out a loud groan of frustration.

On the front cover of the Daily Prophet, was a life-sized portrait of his own face, looking extremely snarky. Right above his face was an enormous caption that screamed; "THE ORDER OF MERLIN ABOUT TO GAIN ITS YOUNGEST MEMBER YET!"

'There's more on the next page,' said Erwin carefully. 'Do you want to read it?'

Severus nodded, took the newspaper from Erwin's hands and sprawled it out across the table.

" _Severus Snape, age sixteen, is about to become the youngest member of the Order of Merlin (along with partner Dionysius Belfast), for his outstanding performance at creating a potion to help those who suffer from lycanthropy._

_His name may ring a bell. Earlier this year I had the pleasant opportunity to be present at the trial of no one less than young Snape's own Muggle father, who has been imprisoned after being pleaded guilty for the murder of his witch wife. This rather recent tragedy seems to weigh heavily on his shoulders. The investigation whether magic has been involved is still up and running, and it comes as no surprise that his eyes reflect nothing more than a dark void of pain to match his bitter attitude._

_Why exactly young Snape has devoted so much time in creating a potion for half-breeds instead of devoting his brainpower to study for his upcoming O.W.L.s, is still unknown. What is curious, however, is the sudden appearance of his new accomplice (or is it love?), who goes by the name of Remus Lupin, and seemingly has replaced the position of his foster sister._

_The award ceremony shall be held inside the headquarters of the Wizengamot on this very day at noon, lead by none other than the Chief Warlock himself, Albus Dumbledore._

_More on this later in The Evening Prophet, written by your very own, Rita Skeeter."_

Severus got a sudden urge to vomit all over the newspaper, and quickly folded it up to avoid tossing it across the room.

'I now understand why you pointed her out during your father's trial,' said Erwin bitterly. 'What a foul woman.'

'This is going to be an awful day,' Severus groaned, and rested his head on the table.

'Will you look at that,' Lily called out from behind him. 'My boyfriend is about to go down in wizarding history, and here he is, sulking about it.'

Without looking up, Severus pushed the paper in Lily's direction. He could hear not one, but two chairs being scraped across the floor, and figured that Remus must have accompanied her.

It was quiet for a moment, but after a while Severus could hear Lily and Remus snickering about something. 'This is so far from funny,' he said with a scowl as he looked up.

'I didn't know I was your new boyfriend, Severus,' said Remus, still laughing as he was skimming over the article.

'Her view on my love life is the least of my concerns,' said Severus as he reached out for his mug of coffee. 'The fact that she felt the need to emphasize my family's tragedy is what's pissing me off.'

Lily put her arm over his shoulder and gave him a reassuring hug. 'That is something to worry about after we go home for the summer,' she said. 'For now, it's better to just focus on today.'

'I thought the minister himself was going to give you and Damocles the awards,' Erwin pointed out. 'Why the sudden change to Dumbledore?'

'The only reason I can think of is because Dumbledore himself has suggested to take over,' said Severus. 'The minister didn't seem too keen on doing it, and Dumbledore is the Chief Warlock after all.'

'But this is a good thing, isn't it?' said Lily. 'For Dumbledore to be around I mean.'

'It is,' said Severus, and secretly he was a bit relieved that Dumbledore was going to be present. Even though he hadn't spotted any Death Eaters at the ministry yesterday, at least he knew for certain Malfoy was going to be amongst the crowd during the ceremony.

'Dionysius Belfast?' said Damocles as he came walking down the stairs, holding his own copy of the Daily Prophet. 'Now there's one I hadn't heard before.'

Severus looked sadly at Damocles as he joined them at the table. 'You're not even being acknowledged,' he said. 'She made it look like you were just a bystander while I did all the work.'

'Don't worry too much about it,' said Damocles as he tossed his newspaper aside. 'The only reason why they're more interested in you is because you're young. And besides, we both already agreed that we're not interested in gaining anything out of it.'

'The only thing I'm gaining here is fame I never asked for,' said Severus sourly. 'Has there been any developments after Remus and I left with Arthur?'

'Catriona managed to sneak her way into the Beast Division to look for the Werewolf Register herself,' said Damocles proudly. 'She found a list, though a small one I should add, and made a copy of it.'

'That is good news,' said Severus, impressed by Catriona's unexpected stealthy side. 'And what of the potioneers?'

'Mister Mulpeper has a pharmacy at the halfway house in Spitalfields,' said Damocles. 'That's located between Central London and East End. It's hidden from Muggle public and he's willing to devote that space for brewing the wolfsbane potion. He's also going to contact his suppliers about his plans.'

'If anyone deserves to get an Order of Merlin, it's him,' Severus pointed out. 'He seems quite passionate about it all.'

'Mister Mulpeper firmly believes that everyone should have free access to medical aid, and I think that's wonderful,' said Damocles. 'Furthermore, Fleamont was impressed by Mulpeper's ideas and is going to invest in his plan to rebuild the halfway house to optimize its space.'

'That's brilliant,' said Remus. 'I'm sure James would love to hear about this.'

'And what of mister Winikus?' Severus asked. 'Is he still going to be a part of the plan?'

'He is,' said Damocles. 'Since he runs a large medical brewery he's going to look into his own supplies and see what he can do, but that's as much as I know for now.'

'Is there anything that I can still do?' Severus asked, already doubting whether he could or not.

'I think it's better for you to start focusing on your OWLs,' said Damocles as he held up the Daily Prophet. 'Just leave the whole business thing to me if you're okay with that.'

Severus nodded in agreement. There really wasn't much that he could do for as long as he was still attending Hogwarts, not matter how much he wanted to.

Remus's parents, followed by professor Slughorn and Catriona, who was carrying Bronwyn in her arms, came walking down the stairs.

'Could you take him over from me?' Catriona asked Damocles. 'I want to get us all a plate of sandwiches.'

Damocles was smiling proudly at his son as he held him in his arms, and Lily immediately bent over the child to tickle it.

'Would you like to meet him, Severus?' Damocles asked.

'I've never held a child before,' Severus admitted, and looking down at Bronwyn as if he was a fragile piece of glass. 'I'm not sure if I should.'

'Surely you won't break him,' said Damocles, looking amused at Severus's obvious poor attempt at refusing to hold his child.

Lily was looking up at Severus wit gleaming eyes, and he remembered their conversation from last night. Surely, holding a baby wasn't that big of a deal.

'I'll take him,' said Severus, more in order to please Lily than Damocles.

As Damocles carefully lowered Bronwyn into Severus's arms, he was glad that the baby wasn't shocked to see a different face. In what had to be a playful mood, Bronwyn flailed his arms around and took a hold of Severus's hair.

'Lily, could you help me out here?' Severus asked desperately, and was painfully surprised at the amount of force Bronwyn was using to pull his hair.

Lily carefully wriggled her fingers between Bronwyn's fists while laughing at the whole display. 'He likes you,' she whispered. 'You're doing great, Sev.'

From the corner of his eye, Severus could see Erwin looking at him and Lily with amusement, and was slightly shaking his head.

Severus understood that it was Erwin's way of saying that he was far from ready to be a grandfather, and he couldn't help but agree with that.

…

'Are we all supposed to fit inside this telephone box?' Erwin asked with a raised eyebrow.

The entire company was standing in front of the telephone box Remus and Severus had entered the Ministry with the previous day, and even then it had already been a tight fit.

'How about I put an Undetectable Extension charm on it?' Slughorn suggested. 'I alone can barely fit in that thing.'

'Smart thinking, professor,' said Lily. 'How do people normally enter the ministry?'

'I believe the public restrooms along Whitehall road are used for that,' said Severus. 'You step into one and flush yourself down into the ministry.'

Lily looked completely repulsed at the idea of flushing yourself down a toilet. 'That's disgusting,' she said with a crinkled nose.

In the meantime, Slughorn had tapped the telephone box several times, and looked at it with approval.

'What exactly did you just do, professor?' Hope asked. 'It's just that I don't see any difference.'

'That's the whole point, misses Lupin,' said Slughorn as he pocketed his wand. 'Feel free to step inside.'

Slughorn's spell had worked, as the inside of the telephone box was now much bigger than it was on the outside.

'Makes you wonder why no one has thought of doing this before,' Slughorn said after he closed the door behind him.

'Probably so that Muggles don't freak out if they ever need to use the actual phone,' Severus pointed out.

'That's a good point you made there,Severus,' said Slughorn. 'I'll remove the charm once we're down.'

Remus had dialed the number on the rotary disk, and the same voice asked for them to state their names and purpose of their visit.

After Remus had listed off everybody's names and reason for their visit, a pile of badges came clanking out of the metal chute, and the telephone box started to descent.

Severus looked at his badge before it pinned it onto his Black Sabbath shirt, and wondered why he just couldn't use this as an award since it already read that he was there for an Order of Merlin.

'Visitors to the ministry,' said the voice, 'you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the end of the Atrium.'

Everyone who had never been on the inside of the Ministry before didn't know where to put their eyes as they walked out of the telephone box.

'This is a magnificent place, Sev,' said Lily in awe as she hooked her arm around his.

'It is,' said Severus, his eyes constantly shifting from left to right in an attempt to catch a glimpse from Malfoy or anyone else he associated with the Death Eaters.

Aside from Erwin and Hope, the group formed a line to have their wands registered at the security desk.

'Do we have to show our IDs or something?' Erwin asked Severus after he got his wand back.

'I don't think so,' said Severus. 'I think I see Arthur coming over.'

Arthur was waving enthusiastically at everybody as he walked up to the group. 'The Minister has asked me to escort you all down to the headquarters of the Wizengamot,' he said. 'Albus Dumbledore is already there, waiting for you.'

Arthur took a good look at Severus and placed both his hands on his shoulders. 'Are you ready for this?' he asked.

'Not at all,' said Severus truthfully.

'Alright,' said Arthur with a stiff nod. 'Try not to worry. It'll all be over soon.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Nicholas Culpeper (the one Mulpeper is supposedly named after) set up a pharmacy (roughly 1650s) inside the halfway house in Spitalfields, London, outside of the authority of the City of London, when medical facilities were at a breaking point. He argued that "no man deserved to starve to pay an insulting, insolent physician", and managed to obtain his herbal supplies from a nearby countryside, and thus provided his services for free.
> 
> A/N For those of you who aren't counting the days, today is the 2nd of May 1976. Exactly twenty-two years prior to the day Severus died.


	106. The Order of Merlin II

'The Wizengamot predates the Ministry itself,' Arthur explained as he ushered everyone inside an elevator. 'It goes all the way back to the medieval Wizards' Council, which disbanded a couple of years after the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy was established.'

'Why do I have a feeling I shouldn't really be here?' Erwin asked.

'Probably because you're not a wizard,' said Arthur. 'Not to worry though. There are a lot of different rules when it comes to family relations.'

'Wasn't the Wizards' Council responsible for the Werewolf Code of Conduct?' Remus asked.

'It was,' said Arthur. 'Back in sixteen thirty-seven if I'm not mistaken. It was quite a failure though, since no one actually showed up to sign the Code.'

'No surprise there,' said Remus with a snort.

'We're here,' said Arthur, and the elevator stopped right after he said it. 'Just follow me.'

As they followed Arthur, they were obviously led through a much older part of the Ministry. The stones of the building were damp and the air was growing colder. They stopped abruptly in front of a door that read "visitors".

'I'll have to take Severus and Damocles with me from here,' said Arthur. 'The rest of you can find a seat among the rest of the crowd.'

Catriona turned to Damocles to wish him good luck, as did Lily when she turned to Severus.

Lily cupped Severus's face with her hands and looked him straight in the eye. 'You can do this, Sev,' she said just loud enough for him to hear. 'When it's all over we'll go get ourselves some hot chocolate and a slice of apple pie to celebrate it.'

'I'd like that,' said Severus with a smile. He gave her a kiss on her forehead and followed Arthur and Damocles a little further down the hall. They stopped in front of a door that read "platform", and the formality of it all made Severus's stomach squirm against his will.

'Now, Dumbledore's already here,' said Arthur as he rested his hand on the doorknob, 'as is the rest of the Wizengamot. They put up an extra stage for the visitors. By the time I sit down there, the doors will be closed so the ceremony can begin.'

'What exactly can we expect to happen?' Severus asked.

'It'll mostly be Dumbledore giving a speech on the type of award you are receiving, and why you are receiving it,' said Arthur. 'After that, he'll come down from his high chair and pin the medals onto your chest, declare you an official member of the Order of Merlin, and that's basically it.'

'Is the press present as well?' Damocles asked.

Arthur rolled with his eyes at the thought of it. 'I'm sure you've read Rita Skeeter's article this morning. She's the one copying down every single word that's being said for The Evening Prophet, so I suggest you both be careful about everything you say today.'

'Note taken,' said Damocles. 'Anything else we should know about before we enter?'

'I don't have anything more to add for you, Damocles,' said Arthur. 'I do however, for you Severus.'

'They're here, aren't they?' Severus asked, already knowing what was about to follow.

'Miss Umbridge is part of the Wizengamot, so naturally, you can expect her to be sitting among them. And yes,' said Arthur a bit more sourly, 'Malfoy walked into the ministry this morning with the intension to be present at the ceremony.'

'So he's sitting among the rest of the visitors?' Severus asked.

'He is,' said Arthur. 'And yes, I do intend to sit as closely as I can to him just in case he feels the need to brag about something.'

Arthur let go of the doorknob as if he had changed his mind about something. 'I'll let you two decide when you're ready to enter,' he said. 'I should head back to my own place among the crowd. Good luck.'

Arthur turned around and left Severus and Damocles to stand together in front of the door that led to the platform.

'Are you ready?' asked Damocles, clearly not entirely convinced of his own words.

'Not at all,' said Severus bleakly, 'but let's just get it over with shall we?'

Damocles took the honour of opening the door, revealing a large and rather dim looking circular room.

Severus saw the fifty or so members of the Wizengamot, clad in their plum coloured robes, sitting scattered on a tribune, while Dumbledore sat on the highest chair in their midst.

On the other side of the room was the visitor's tribune. It was easy to spot Lily among them by her flaming red hair.

'You got this, Severus,' Lily signed to him.

'I got this,' Severus signed back. He could see that Lucius Malfoy had indeed taken his place on the tribune, and that Arthur had managed to sit close to him.

Severus would have skimmed row after row to see who was present, but Dumbledore called for order by hitting the gavel on the block, and he was forced to turn his back to the crowd.

Amongst the Wizengamot, there were a few whom Severus recognized. Bartemius Crouch was among them, as was Elphias Doge, future minister Cornelius Fudge and an old man he remembered from a memory Dumbledore had showed him, Tiberius Ogden.

It took a while before he had managed to spot Umbridge among them. Due to her lack of height she was sitting nearly invisible behind a lady who Severus assumed had to be Griselda Marchbanks, as he remembered her from her observations during exams at Hogwarts in both his time as a student and a teacher.

'Welcome to the award ceremony of Damocles Belby and Severus Snape,' said Dumbledore ceremoniously to the crowd. 'Today is Sunday, the second of May, nineteen seventy six, and I bid you all a very warm welcome on this exceptional day.'

The second of May rang a bell. Wasn't it the second of May when he died? Bizarre.

'Before I step down to pin the medals onto your chests and declare you a member of the Order of Merlin,' Dumbledore continued, 'I will first acknowledge you both personally, and professionally. After that, questions may be raised from both the Wizengamot and the visitors if they wish to do so, in order to clarify the reason for your award.'

'Damocles Belby,' Dumbledore called out, and Damocles tried to straighten his back a little at the mention of his name. 'I remember every single student who has ever passed through the gates of Hogwarts since my time as a teacher, and as headmaster, and so I remember day well when you walked into the school for the very first time. The moment you placed the sorting hat onto your head it became clear that you had a very creative and talented spirit, and it came as no surprise that you made Ravenclaw your home.'

Dumbledore looked up and shot Damocles a reassuring smile. 'Your talented spirit has clearly not gone to waste. You excelled in nearly all of your subjects, and gave your heart to potion brewing. After you graduated you went on to become an excellent, well renowned potioneer, whose selfless act on creating a life-changing potion for those we deem less fortunate will go down in history today.'

'Last but not least,' said Dumbledore as he looked up at the crowd, 'I would like to congratulate you and your wonderful wife Catriona, on your newborn, and perfectly healthy son.'

'Severus Snape,' Dumbledore continued as he turned his gaze towards him, and the Wizengamot seemed to shift a little bit forward at the mention of his name. 'Today marks not only a special day for you for receiving the Order of Merlin, but also because you are the youngest to ever receive one to date.'

A faint twinkle in Dumbledore's eye betrayed the slight irony in his words, as he and Severus were the only ones in the entire wizarding world who knew better.

'It has only been a couple of years ago since you arrived at Hogwarts for the first time, and I will never forget how you came walking in hand in hand with your best friend, and did not let go until being sorted into different houses forced you to go your separate ways.'

Severus couldn't help but smile a little at the memory of that. He had nearly forgotten that he had been holding on tightly to Lily's hand all the way until she was called forward to be sorted. At the time it was because he made himself believe it was because Lily had been nervous, but now he could admit to himself that it was because he was scared far more than she had been.

'Not very unlike mister Belby,' said Dumbledore, 'you too excelled, and still do, in nearly everything you do, particularly in potions. Some time near the beginning of this school year you came up with a plan that could potentially help those who suffer from lycanthropy, and contacted mister Belby about your ideas, who just so happened to be working on a similar plan. You two met, experimented, and eventually found two test subjects, who shall remain anonymous, to test this particularly tricky creation.'

Severus wondered how long it would last for Remus and Catriona to remain anonymous. Especially now that both of them were present inside the Ministry, right in front of the prying eyes of the media.

'I would like to round up this speech by taking a moment to acknowledge your family,' said Dumbledore a little more grimly. 'The tragedy that has befallen onto your family is no news to those who are gathered here today, as it has been covered in the media earlier this year and repeated once more this very morning. Fortunately, there is a silver lining to the darkest clouds, and your new family has come all the way here to support you, proving that family is not determined by blood alone. Erwin Evans and Lily Evans, I would like to thank you both for providing mister Snape with a new house, and a loving home. That alone, is worth more than any award.'

Severus could only imagine how Erwin and Lily were responding to the words that were being said about them. Dumbledore's words did speak a harsh, yet beautiful truth.

'To move on to something a bit more diplomatic,' said Dumbledore, 'it has been confirmed by the Hogwarts school matron Poppy Pomfrey, along with personnel from St. Mungo's that the potion, that the Wolfsbane Potion, as it has been officially labeled, does indeed work on those who have taken it. However, it must be noted that the wolfsbane potion is not a cure for lycanthropy, but merely a way for those who suffer from this terrible disease to make their lives a little, if not a lot, easier. The potion, if taken on a daily basis two weeks prior to the full moon, causes the person who transforms into a werewolf to keep their human mind, thus rendering them harmless. The result is that anyone who suffers from lycanthropy shall no longer form a threat during the full moon, and can once again integrate back into our wizarding society.'

A lot of heads from the Wizengamot were bobbing along in approval and admiration, but as Severus had expected, with the exception of Umbridge.

'If there are any questions for mister Belby or mister Snape,' Dumbledore said as he looked around the entire room, 'you may do so now.'

'Ehm ehm,' Umbridge coughed, and stuck her hand up in the air. 'Mister Dumbledore,' she said in her sickly sweet voice, 'how can we be certain that werewolves will no longer form a threat once this particular potion is introduced? Surely, most will not have the money to afford it, and then there are also those who have no desire to take it at all.'

'I can assure you miss Umbridge,' said Dumbledore politely, 'the financial and production aspect is already being covered by a group of very devoted potioneers whom you may find among the visitors. They may even manage to find a way in which the Ministry will not have to interfere at all.'

'But that doesn't answer my question regarding the half-breeds who are unwilling to cooperate,' said Umbridge. 'You do understand that there are many out there who are willing to do more harm than good, and this potion can only make it easier for them to do harm.'

Severus hated how Umbridge was actually making a fair point about the whole business. The problem she had brought up has been irksome since the very beginning of the project.

'Can I respond to this?' The voice of old man from the visitors crowd called out.

'Of course, mister Scamander,' said Dumbledore. 'Please share with us what you have to say.'

'Thank you sir,' said Scamander. 'I have worked at the Beast Division for quite some time now, and I am the one responsible for incepting the Werewolf Register nearly two decades ago as I found it inhumane.'

Scamander drew a deep breath and continued his speech with a new found courage. 'I have traveled all over the world to work with magical creatures, including those who suffer from lycanthropy, and I can assure you ,ma'am, that the number of those who wish for a solution to end their suffering is far greater than those who wish to do harm.'

Severus may not be able to see Newton Scamander's face, but he knew that with his rising, Catriona and Remus have just been introduced to a walking goldmine.

With a look as if she had been personally insulted, Umbridge folded her arms over each other and ended her speech right there.

'Thank you, mister Scamander,' said Dumbledore with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. 'I suggest that any further questions can be asked during the press conference after I declare mister Belby and mister Snape official members of the Order.'

No arguments followed after that, so Dumbledore took it as a sign that it was time to step down.

With his distinctive grace, Dumbledore came down from his high chair, followed by Cornelius Fudge, who carried two shining gold medals on a silken pillow.

Dumbledore and Fudge walked up behind them. 'You may turn around and face your family,' said Dumbledore.

Severus took the opportunity immediately took look at who was sitting on the tribune. First he saw Lily and Erwin again, but after a quick glance his heart started to sink to his knees, and cold sweat broke out all over his body.

'I'll start with you, Damocles,' said Dumbledore, and from the inside of his cloak he pulled out the sword of Gryffindor. 'Please, go down on one knee.'

Damocles did as he was told, and Dumbledore performed the accolade by using the flat side of the sword, slightly tapping both of his shoulders. 'I hereby officially declare you, Damocles Belbly, as an official member of the Order of Merlin.'

A loud cheering came from the crowd, making Severus feel slightly disoriented as he tried to focus hard on everyone who was sitting there.

As Fudge took the honour to pin the medal on Damocles, Dumbledore turned to Severus.

'Please go down on one knee, Severus,' said Dumbledore, and noticed the fear that had appeared in Severus's eyes. 'I now officially declare you a member of the Order of Merlin,' he said as he softly tapped Severus's shoulders with the sword. 'Please, stand up.'

Severus immediately stood up and leaned forward so that only Dumbledore could hear. 'We are surrounded by Death Eaters,' he whispered.

A flash of fear fell over Dumbledore's eyes, and was quickly replaced by a look of determination. 'We'll talk about this when we meet at the Leaky Cauldron,' he whispered back.

Fudge took the honour of pinning the medal on Severus's shirt, another loud cheer came from the crowd, and Dumbledore ended the ceremony by another tap of the gavel on the block.

This was looking very, very bad.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Order of Merlin 1st class: Green ribbon (most likely after Merlin's house; Slytherin.)  
> Order of Merlin 2nd class: Purple ribbon.  
> Order of Merlin 3d class: White ribbon.  
> A/N I'll admit I was a bit reluctant to introduce Scamander's character in here since the movies are coming out soon. I'm just going by what I know about him from the HP wiki. In my mind he looks like Mr. Rogers (your friendly neighbour).
> 
> A/N ^ Now that the first two Fantastic Beasts movies are out, it may be possible that not everything that I've written about Scamander so far is entirely canonically. Thankfully, this is Fan Fiction.  
> A/N The Werewolf Register was incepted by Scamander in 1947, meaning that Catriona's attempt has been in vain.


	107. The Order of Merlin III

To Severus's great annoyance, he and Damocles were escorted out of the room of the Wizengamot by Cornelius Fudge right after Dumbledore hit the gavel on the block.

Fudge was ranting on and on about the press, but Severus wasn't listening. In his mind he was listing off every face he had seen on the tribune that he recognized from his time as a Death Eater.

Among the visitors were the Carrow siblings, Dolohov, Rookwood, Travers, Yaxley and Macnair. All who were associated with the ministry one way or another. Then there was also Evan's father, Rosier senior, sitting closely to Malfoy. Many of them have been around since the very beginning of the Dark Lord's rise to power and were members of his inner circle, better known as the Knights of Walpurgis.

There were many more, of course, who were more outspoken about where their loyalties lie, and who knew better than to show their face at the Ministry.

Severus balled his hands into fists at the thought of Lily, Erwin, and everybody else he cared about were surrounded by a group of people who wouldn't hesitate to tear them apart, and found only a sliver of comfort in knowing that Dumbledore was still out there with them.

'Are you doing okay, Severus?' asked Damocles. 'You seem a bit pale.'

'I'm just relieved that it's over,' said Severus, looking down steadily at the floor.

'The press is waiting for you in front of the Fountain of Magical Brethren,' said Fudge as he wobbled his way up to the elevator. 'I'm warning you now, though. It's going to be quite busy.'

Once the elevator was making its way up to the Atrium, Severus was sorely tempted to pull out his wand and cast a Disillusionment Charm on himself so he could sneak away undetected. The idea was even more supported when he realised that the ministry was so loaded with magic, he could probably get away entirely undetected despite being underage.

'Just straighten your back and push your chest forward,' said Damocles. 'It sounds stupid but it works. Trust me.'

They were nearly back on the eighth floor, and Severus understood that it was better to give in to the situation, as there was no escaping the press the moment they would step out of the elevator.

Taking Damocles's advice, Severus straightened his back and released the tension from his hands by stretching out his fingers.

The moment the elevator doors opened, the blinding lights of flashing cameras and reporters greeted them with a wave of questions, and Fudge had to struggle his way through the crowd in order to lead Severus and Damocles to their designated spots in front of the fountain.

Fudge quickly evaporated amongst the crowd once Severus and Damocles had taken their place in front of the fountain, leaving them to stand awkwardly close together as pictures were being taken.

" _How will becoming a member of the Order of Merlin affect your career, mister Belby?"_

_"How does it feel to be the youngest member of the Order of Merlin, mister Snape?"_

" _Could you explain to us why it is so important to you to help people with lycanthropy?"_

Damocles seemed to be able to answer to the questions that were being fired at him, but Severus felt himself grow weaker in the knees. They were entirely surrounded by reporters, and there was still no sight of Lily or anyone else among them.

Through the haze of the noise Severus found a familiar silver blonde ponytail. He zoned out from the questions that were being fired at him, focusing entirely on the pale grey eyes as they connected to his.

Severus knew he had one shot to look inside Malfoy's mind to find out why he had attacked Hogsmeade earlier this year along with Bellatrix Lestrange.

He could not reach out for his wand without having the entire wizarding media to take notice, and so he had to focus hard, using his ability to perform wandless magic in order to pry inside Malfoy's mind.

Keeping the exact date of the attack in mind, Severus performed legilimency on Malfoy with a squint of his eye, quickly running though other memories of him that are all connected to the beginning of the year. The running stopped at a specific memory where Bartemius Crouch was involved. They were together in some office, talking about something that must have bored Malfoy, as the words that were being exchanged were nearly inaudible and morphed into a blur.

The conversation that Severus had had with mister Crouch right after the attack inside the Hog's Head came flooding back into his memory.

' _I saw Lucius Malfoy near the tracks holding Regulus upside down, questioning him, and Evan was lying unconscious behind him. What I wanted—'_

' _Malfoy? Lucius Malfoy?'_

_'The one and only. You sound surprised mister Crouch. How come?'_

_'I spoke with him at the ministry only moments before I got here. It can't have been him.'_

With a blink of his eye Severus snapped out of his trance, and his heart started beating frantically in his chest. Mister Crouch had been right. Malfoy had been at the ministry all along.

'Mister Snape?' a reporter called out right in front of him. 'Mister Snape are you alright?'

Severus looked at the lady who was trying to claim his attention, and in a moment's notice he was pulled back into the reality he was facing.

'I'm exhausted,' Severus muttered. It wasn't a lie. Performing wandless magic, even for a moment, had drained a lot of his energy.

From the corner of his eye Severus saw Dolohov passing along the reporters, and he knew that Lily and the rest must have returned as well.

Getting frustrated by the overwhelming amount of attention, Severus quickly came up with a plan. 'I would like to propose an idea,' he said out loud. 'As you all know I am still attending Hogwarts, and as Rita Skeeter so kindly felt the need to point out, as a fifth year I am also preparing for my upcoming O.W.L. exams. For any questions regarding the work that mister Belby and I have created, I want to ask you all to please correspond with Albus Dumbledore, who not only has awarded us with a membership of the Order of Merlin, but is also my headmaster. After all the hard work mister Belby and I have put into creating this potion, I must really shift my focus on making it through my education. Thank you.'

Leaving Damocles to stand by himself, Severus pushed his way through the crowd of reporters, and walked straight up towards Malfoy.

'It's been a while, Malfoy,'said Severus with a sly grin. 'How have you been lately?'

Malfoy seemed a little taken aback by Severus's sudden acknowledgement. Especially since all the prying eyes of the reporters were now shifting their focus onto him.

With a forced nod, Malfoy greeted Severus back. 'I suppose a well-earned congratulations are in order, mister Snape,' he said stiffly.

Severus grin widened, leaned in closer and lowered his voice. 'I can assure you, Lucius,' he said as he pointed at the medal on his chest, 'that if you want one of these, all you need to do is offer money.'

With a suppressed scowl, Malfoy leaned away from Severus and tightened the grip around his cane.

'I'm just wondering,' said Severus as he leaned in even closer and lowered his voice further to a near gravelly tone. 'Did you ever find what you came looking for?'

Malfoy did not seem to dare to tear his eyes away from Severus. 'I don't know what you're talking about,' he said, trying hard to sound confident, 'but I would appreciate it if you did not accuse me of attacking Hogsmeade, when I clearly hold an alibi against you.'

'I know you are involved somehow,' said Severus dangerously. 'And I can assure you, that the thing you came looking for, will never find its way back to you.'

'Sev,' said Lily as she suddenly appeared on his side, and shot Malfoy a murderous glare the moment she laid her eyes on him. 'We can get out of here if you'd like.'

Severus shot one final glance at Malfoy. 'Do grand me the pleasure of sending my regards to your master, will you,' he whispered. 'Have a good day.'

With a smooth motion Severus placed his arm around Lily's waist and allowed her to guide him towards the rest of the group.

'I think dad would like to talk to you in private, if possible,' said Lily.

Severus looked up at Erwin as he appeared in front of them, and nodded in understanding.

'Any idea where we could speak in private?' Severus asked as he eyed at the reporters, who were clearly torn between following him and staying put to ask Damocles questions.

Erwin swiftly looked around, and pointed with his nose at a sign that read "bathroom".

Lily quickly gave Severus a kiss on his cheek as he released her, and followed Erwin towards the bathroom.

'That Malfoy is quite an interesting fellow,' said Erwin as he closed the door behind them.

'Calling him interesting is putting it mildly,' Severus pointed out. The sudden silence from the empty bathroom had been more welcoming than he had expected, and he let out a sigh of relief.

From the inside of his pockets, Erwin pulled out a pack of cigarettes and held it up to Severus. 'You look like you need it,' he said.

'Thanks,' Severus muttered as he pulled one from the pack, and lit it up with a snap of his fingers.

'What has been going on with you lately, Severus?' Erwin asked as he lit a cigarette for himself with a lighter.

'Where would you like me to start?' said Severus with a hint of sarcasm. 'The part where my father got imprisoned, or the part where I buried my mother, or the part where a giant snake came into play, or—'

'Lets start with that one shall we,' said Erwin. 'Care to tell me how all of a sudden you, my daughter and another friend ended up dealing with a giant snake?'

Severus knew it wasn't a question. Looking for the right words to say, he inhaled deeply and blew the smoke from his lungs, feeling the nicotine starting to rush.

He fell into the story about Evan and the diary, the things that have occurred in the time that he had in his possession, and what happened to it once they had figured out what it meant. 'I'm also positive it's the one thing Malfoy wants back,' he added. 'Which is not going to happen now that it's been destroyed, but he doesn't know that.'

Erwin had been looking more and more wide-eyed as Severus's story progressed. 'You all could've been killed,' he muttered in disbelief.

'We're all given extremely powerful tools at the age of eleven,' Severus pointed out. 'Being a wizard doesn't come without a bit of danger.'

Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose as if he was about to get a headache. 'You have a lot of enemies, don't you?' he asked carefully.

'I do,' said Severus truthfully, 'and Malfoy isn't the only one out here today who would rather see me gone.'

'Anything I need to worry about?' Erwin asked.

'They won't dare to do anything when there are so many people around,' said Severus. 'But do know that this is the kind of crowd who don't appreciate Muggles, Muggle-borns or anyone else who doesn't conform to the standard of a proper wizard.'

Erwin nodded in understanding and pulled two more cigarettes out of the pack. 'There's one other thing that I'd like to talk to you about,' he said as he handed Severus another cigarette. 'You and Lily.'

Severus figured it was bound to come up at some point. 'We're doing just fine together,' he said. 'Not that different from when we weren't, actually.'

'I figured,' said Erwin with a smile. 'There's just two things that I want to make very clear to you. Not in my house, and if you get her pregnant, I'm afraid I will have to break your kneecaps.'

'Note taken,' said Severus, having no doubt whatsoever that it was not an idle threat.

'Don't think that I'm saying this because of your own parents having you when they were young,'said Erwin quickly. 'I've told Vernon the exact same thing.

The thought of Vernon gave Severus a bitter taste in his mouth. 'Are Petunia and Vernon still together?' he asked carefully.

'Don't get me started on that,'said Erwin with a sigh. 'Either way, I haven't even properly congratulated you yet.'

Severus shrugged it off. 'I'm just glad that it's over.'

'This is just a piece of advice from a veteran,' said Erwin as he pointed at the medal of Severus's chest. 'If there's one thing I've learned during my years in service, is that nobody cares about the actual things you have achieved. They only follow the man who carries the most stripes on his arm and the largest number of medals on his chest, and you Severus, just put yourself into a position of power. Not because of what you and mister Belby have created, but because of the position you just gained.'

'I will keep that in mind,'said Severus sincerely as he looked down at his medal. 'So far I just haven't quite figured out of that's a blessing or a burden.'

'That depends entirely on how you use it,'said Erwin, and reached out for the door handle.

'One more thing before we go back,'said Erwin as his eyes shifted over Severus from top to bottom. 'Couldn't you have worn something a bit more formal?'

'Consider it an act of adolescent rebellion,'said Severus with a grin.

Erwin raised an eyebrow and shook his head. 'Have it your way,' he said, and opened the door of the bathroom.

Severus quickly flushed the cigarette buds down a toilet and followed Erwin out of the bathroom. Most of the reporters were nearly gone by the time they made their way back to the Atrium, and the whole group was sitting on the edge of the fountain, clearly waiting for their return.

It felt good to see Lily smile.


	108. The Evening Prophet

By the time they had all returned to the Leaky Cauldron, Severus was happily digging into a large slice of apple pie, combined with a mug of steaming hot chocolate.

Severus had taken off the medal that had been pinned onto his chest by Fudge so everyone could take a closer look at it.

'It's quite heavy, isn't it?' said Remus as he gave the medal back to Severus after it had been passed around.

'A heavy burden,' Severus mumbled back with a mouth full of pie.

'Oh don't be so cynical, Severus,' said Slughorn. 'At least I can now officially exempt you from the potion exam.'

'That's actually possible?' Remus said with a look of awe. 'It is actually possible to get exempted from exams?'

'Under special circumstances, yes,' said Slughorn.

All Remus could do was shake his head in disbelief. 'Are we all going back to school tomorrow?' he asked.

'I'm supposed to take the three of you back by train tomorrow,' said Slughorn.

'Can't we just apparate?' Severus asked.

Slughorn shook his head at the thought of it. 'Miss Evans and I arrived here by train also,' he said. 'I've never been too keen on apparating and miss Evans had never done it before, so I wanted to spare her the trouble.'

Severus shot Remus a look as if to say that their venture time together in London was officially over. 'There's something that I would like to talk about with the two of you,' he said.

'Did you figure something out about Malfoy?' Lily asked just loud enough for only them to hear.

'I did,' said Severus, and with a large gulp he finished off his hot chocolate. 'Can we take this upstairs?'

The moment they wanted to excuse themselves from the table, several owls started to swoop into the Leaky Cauldron, and dropped off copies of the Evening Prophet.

Another owl came swooping in fight after and landed gracefully in front of Severus. Severus untied the little note that was dangling from its paw, and the owl sped off afterwards.

'It's from Dumbledore,' Severus muttered, recognizing the thing loopy handwriting right away. 'He's gone back to Hogwarts.'

'Were you supposed to meet him here?' Lily asked.

'I was,' said Severus as he stuffed the note in his pocket. 'Looks like I'll be scheduling a new appointment with him at school instead.'

Damocles handed a copy to Severus after they had been dropped on the center of the table. 'Lets find out what the damage is, shall we?' he said.

Everyone in the group shifted around to read the article simultaneously, which wasn't that difficult to achieve as it was smothered all over the front page.

A large picture dominated the cover of Severus and Damocles standing awkwardly together in front of the Fountain of Magical Brethren.

'You look like you're trying to walk out of the frame, Sev,' said Lily.

'Probably because I am,' said Severus, and noticed how his picture self was trying to turn his back on the reporters.

" _Earlier today, Severus Snape and Damocles Belby received the Order of Merlin; second class, for their groundbreaking invention of a potion (officially labeled the Wolfsbane Potion), to help those who suffer from lycanthropy."_

'At least she got your name right this time Damocles,' Severus pointed out.

Damocles let out a snort at Severus's remark. 'I'd hardly consider that an achievement.'

"— _As formally explained by the Chief Warlock and headmaster of Hogwarts; Albus Dumbledore, the potion in question is NOT a cure, but a way for those with lycanthropy to keep their human mind inside their werewolf body, supposedly rendering them harmless if taken daily two weeks prior to the full moon._

_The latter has raised some questions amongst the Wizengamot, as some still consider it a dangerous feat if werewolves can mingle themselves again amongst the rest of the wizarding society, despite the introduction of the potion. I have personally taken the time to interview an acquaintance of mine, who had been very outspoken against the idea of introducing this expensive potion to the public."_

Severus had to take a deep breath before he continued reading, noticed that Lily was biting her lip, and knew what was going to follow.

" _Umbridge: 'Werewolves have been shunned by our society long before the Statute of Secrecy—and for good reason!' she states. 'Just because there's a group of werewolves who are willing to accept a solution, doesn't mean that all of them will. It is no secret that many werewolves have sided with you-know-who, and what would happen if they got their paws on this potion? Can you tell me that it will not be used against us? How can we be so sure that this potion is not going to be the cause a new threat, rather than a solution?'"_

From the back of his throat, Remus had started to growl. 'Why can't she just refer to us as people?' he said bitterly.

'Because she doesn't consider you human,' said Severus. 'She's rather infamous on her stance about half-breeds.'

'I know that,' Remus nearly spat. 'It's just—it's just that I hate how she's right.'

'What makes you say that?' Severus asked as he looked Remus in the eye.

'Say, what if a werewolf with an ill intend did get their hands on this potion,' said Remus with a voice thick with emotion. 'Once it's full moon, they could go on a rampage, turning everyone that cross their path into werewolves.'

'Remus,' Severus said firmly, 'please don't forget about what Newton Scamander has told us today.'

'That the majority wants to be helped,' said Remus, 'I know that, it's just—'

'—Remus,' Severus interrupted him. 'Many are siding with the Dark Lord because they have run out of hope. Give them hope.'

Catriona had been looking at the three friends since Remus's sudden emotional outburst. 'I am going to meet with mister Scamander tomorrow,' she said. 'I suggest you and I stay in contact about this, Remus. It is just like what Severus just said, we need to give them hope.'

Remus nodded his head in understanding, but still didn't look entirely convinced. 'Anything else worth knowing?' Remus asked Lily, who up to now had continued to read.

'No,' she said quickly, and folded up the newspaper. 'Besides, I'm more interested in what Sev found out today.'

Lily tucked the newspaper inside the pocket of het jacket and took the lead to head upstairs.

Severus patted the still sulking Remus on his shoulder, and pointed with his eyes at the staircase to say that it was a good idea to follow.

'Was there something in that article that you wanted to discuss in private?' Severus asked as the closed the door behind them.

Lily shook her head. 'The rest just talks about the ceremony,' she said. 'Which isn't all that interesting since we were actually there. I just really want to know what it is that you found out about Malfoy.'

'I managed to take a look inside his mind about that day he supposedly attacked us,' said Severus. 'Remember that conversation I had with Bartemius Crouch after the attack in hogsmeade Lily?'

'I do,' said Lily. 'He said he had been talking to Malfoy only moments earlier at the ministry.'

'Turns out he was right about that,'said Severus.

'What?' Remus asked with a look of confusion. 'How is that possible?'

'The most probable theory I have is that someone used polyjuice potion to turn into Malfoy,' said Severus, 'since that is the most accurate way of looking like someone—unless you're a metamorphmagus, which I highly doubt since that is an extremely rare ability.'

'Who the hell would want to turn into Malfoy?' said Lily with a look of disgust.

'Someone who also suffers from his mistake perhaps,' said Severus. 'Either that, or someone just needed to hide his or her identity and didn't care about shifting the blame on Malfoy.'

'That wouldn't make sense though,' said Lily. 'Not when that Lestrange woman was there as well. I mean, isn't she acquainted with Malfoy one way or another?'

'All those pureblood families are related one way or another,' said Severus. 'Thing is, it doesn't matter anymore whether it was Malfoy or not.'

Both Lily and Remus looked at Severus with curiosity. 'Care to explain?' Remus asked.

'The thing he was looking for was that diary Evan had,' said Severus. 'I'm absolutely certain of it. But now that it's gone—'

Remus's look of confusion was only turning more and more puzzled.

'We'll explain it all to you on the train back to Hogwarts tomorrow,' said Lily. 'A little more happened when we went down the Chamber of Secrets.'

'Okay,' Remus mumbled. 'This is all very confusing, but okay.'

'Sev,' Lily said thoughtfully, 'when exactly did you use legilimency on Malfoy?'

'When I saw him standing among the reporters,'said Severus. 'Why?'

'It's just that I haven't seen you use your wand,'s aid Lily. 'I'm just curious to how you've done it.'

'I did it non-verbally and without a wand,' Severus confessed. 'It's just something that I happen to be very good at.'

'Woah,' said Remus. 'I knew you were good, but that's brilliant.'

Severus wasn't quite sure where to look after Remus's compliment. 'Thanks,' he muttered.

'Now that that's cleared,' said Remus, 'I think I'm going to leave you two alone for a bit. I'd like to speak with Catriona about a few things.'

Looking a little bit more confident, Remus closed the door behind him, leaving Severus and Lily to stand alone inside the room.

'So non-verbally _and_ wandlessly,' said Lily as she sat down on the bed. 'I'm impressed.'

Severus sat down beside her on the bed. 'I've done it before,' he said. 'With one of Petunia's paintings this past winter.'

'I remember that,' said Lily with a smile. 'Still, I can't help but admire the magic within you sometimes.'

Severus reached out to her and kissed her on her lips. 'You have no idea how grateful I am to have you here,' he said.

'You have no idea how grateful I am to have you,' said Lily, and gently started kissing him back.

'There was more in that newspaper, wasn't there?' Severus said as he felt the paper bulge in her pocket.

'Lets save those troubles for tomorrow shall we?' said Lily, and started caressing the roof of his mouth with her tongue.

The familiar sensation in Severus's lower abdomen returned, and gently pushed Lily back by her arms.

'About last night,' said Severus carefully. 'I think we should talk about that first.'

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. 'Did dad talk to you about something by any chance?'

Severus nodded in confirmation. 'Something along the lines of breaking my kneecaps if I got your pregnant.'

'That sounds like something dad would say,' said Lily, and started to grow red in the face from the embarrassing thought.

'It's not that I'm afraid,' said Severus as he let his hands slide down from her arms and took a hold of her hands. 'It's just that I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for this.'

'That's perfectly fine,' said Lily. 'It really is.'

'It just feels as if I'm disappointing you,' said Severus, a little embarrassed.

'You're not,' said Lily, 'and I really mean that. I'm just glad you're being honest with me. There's one thing I'd like to know though.'

'And what would that be?' Severus asked.

'What is it that you're mostly afraid of?' Lily asked, 'about us having sex, I mean.'

'I'm afraid that it won't be what you imagined it to be,' said Severus, 'and I'm also afraid that I'll hurt you in some way.'

'Alice warned me that it will probably hurt a little bit,' said Lily, 'but I think I can deal with that.'

'That's the thing,' said Severus seriously, 'I'm not sure if I can just yet.'

He placed a hand over her belly and rested his head against her shoulder.

'There's one thing that I'd like you to know,' Lily said softly as she wrapped her arms around him.

'What would that be?' Severus asked as he felt himself falling into a slumber.

With one hand Lily started to run her fingers down his back. 'If we ever reach that point where we do end up having sex, just know that I'm not expecting it to be perfect. I know that that's not possible, and that's perfectly okay.'


	109. The Curious Case of...

'Enjoy your final hours of quiet anonymity, Severus,' said Erwin.

The whole group had gathered between platform nine and ten and were awaiting the arrival of the train.

'That train ride back to school is going to be one long winding mental preparation,' said Severus sheepishly. Perhaps, for what had to be the first time in over thirty-eight years, he was actually dreading going back to Hogwarts. 'I'm not looking forward to any of this.'

'If it makes you feel any better,' said Erwin, 'you got less than two months of school to go before we go looking for a motorbike.'

'That is something to look forward to,' Severus admitted, looking up dreamily at the thought of riding his own motorbike.

In the distance, the rumbling express train to Hogsmeade was rolling its way onto the platform.

'Alright Severus,' said Erwin as he looked him in the eye, 'Normally I'm telling you to look after my daughter while you're both at school but, this time, please do look after yourself too, will you?'

'I'll try,' said Severus, knowing very well that looking after himself had never been one of his personal trademarks.

Entirely unexpectedly, Erwin pulled Severus into a tight embrace. 'Please don't give me any more reasons to be worried about you,' he said.

'No guarantees,' said Severus with great difficulty, as all the air was squeezed from his lungs.

Erwin released him, gave him one final pat on the shoulder and turned to Remus.

Lily was sharing her goodbyes with Catriona and Bronwyn, and Severus walked up to them to take one last look at the baby.

Severus secured his hair behind his shoulders so Bronwyn wouldn't latch onto it as he had done the first time, and reached out for Bronwyn's tiny hand. 'You're a pretty decent baby,' he said as Bronwyn took a hold of his finger.

'Severus,' said Catriona, smiling at how he was connecting with Bronwyn, 'if there's anything worth knowing about our progress regarding the werewolf registry and all that, I'm sure Remus will fill you in.'

'Thanks,' said Severus as he was struggling to get his finger back. 'I would like to know what mister Scamander's role is going to be in all this.'

'I'll find out today,' said Catriona. 'Good luck on your exams.'

It was time to board the train, and once professor Slughorn was done shaking hands, he closed the door behind him.

'Make sure Lily studies for her exams, Severus,' Erwin called out as the train started rolling out of the station.

'Really dad?' Lily yelled back in annoyance. 'Do you really think of me as such a slacker?'

'I'm only saying that because you look just like your father,' said Erwin with a grin on his face. 'Have a good end of term!'

Lily sat back down on her seat with a groan, tossed her hair back and crossed her arms. 'I hate it when he's right,' she growled.

'Not to worry,' said Severus with a sly grin, 'I'll get you to study.'

'If you're not too busy signing autographs by then,' said Lily with a sour look on her face.

At that, Severus started to run his hand gently down her leg, and squeezed hard on the sides of her knee.

'Could you—not – do that,' said Lily as she slapped him against his arm.

'And could you two please behave yourselves,' said Slughorn, looking far more amused than annoyed.

Severus locked both his arms around hers so she could not longer tease him and planted a wet kiss on her cheek. 'You look adorable when you're grumpy.'

Steam nearly started to blow from Lily's ears, and she let out a huff of irritation.

'I know what you need,' said Severus. 'You need breakfast.'

Lily was silent for a moment, as if she was contemplating throwing an insult or surrender to the situation. 'I guess I am hungry,' she admitted.

'I'll see if I can get us all some breakfast,' said Severus once he was confident enough to let her go.

'And some coffee too I you want?' Remus asked. 'I think we can all use some of that.'

By the time Severus came back with a pile of snacks and a supply of coffee, Lily had unfolded the copy of the Evening Prophet she had stuffed into her pocket the previous night.

It was as if the entire atmosphere in the compartment had changed the moment he was gone, as Remus seemed to be on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

'Did something happen why I was gone?' Severus asked carefully.

'Just read it for yourself, Sev,' said Lily as she pointed at a small article on a random page in the newspaper.

Severus sat down and tilted the newspaper so he could read it.

" _ **The Curious Case of Remus J. Lupin"**_

_A curious connection has been made after Remus J. Lupin, Severus Snape's friend (or lover?) had been present as a visitor during the award ceremony. Accompanied by his own father, Lyall Lupin, who is an employee of the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. In nineteen sixty-five, mister Lupin had been part of a questioning committee regarding Fenrir Greyback, who was then accused of the murder of two Muggle children._

_Mister Lupin had claimed that Greyback had been showing characteristic signs of lycanthropy, and had asked for Greyback to be detained until the next full moon, which happened to be the following day._

_At the time the committee did not believe mister Lupin on his word, causing him to lose him temper, and declaring werewolves to be "soulless, evil, and deserving nothing but death."_

_Lupin had been expelled from the room after his outburst, and subsequently Greyback had been released. When a Ministry wizard intended on erasing Greyback's memory after he had been brought in for questioning, Greyback had managed to escape with the help of two accomplices._

_Greyback has not been sighted after since, but it has been confirmed that he is indeed a werewolf, and is responsible for many of the werewolves that live within our wizarding society today._

_Lupin's opinion regarding werewolves has changed significantly over the years, and has shown to be an avid supporter of the potion. His son, baring many of the characteristics that Lupin had described during the questioning of Greyback, was right by his side to see his friend (or lover?) receive the Order of Merlin._

Severus closed the newspaper and tossed it aside. 'Looks like the media is on the brink of exposing your secret, Remus,' he said.

'All this time,' Remus whimpered. 'All this time my parents knew who was responsible for my lycanthropy and they never told me.'

Slughorn had pulled out a silken handkerchief from his breast pocket, and handed it to Remus.

'I never knew my father used to be like that,' said Remus as he wiped away a tear.

'I used to be like that,' said Severus truthfully. 'The problem is that we often have to deal with it the hard way before we can see the other side of the story.'

'I'm sure your parents were just trying to protect you, Remus,' said Lily. 'It seems like they love you very much.'

'They do,' said Remus, smiling despite the prominent look on his face of being hurt. 'And I love them too.'

'I suggest you talk to you parents about this once you come home after the exams,' said Slughorn. 'Feelings like these cannot be expressed in letters.'

'I will,' said Remus with a nod. 'Can we please talk about something a little more cheerful?'

'Well,' said Lily reluctantly, 'there's something else in the newspaper that isn't cheerful, but at least it's news that isn't related to werewolves or the potion.'

On one of the final pages, a tiny particle had been placed and mentioned something about an attack in Newcastle upon Tyne. It spoke of a Muggle family with magical relations, and that the family had been taken to hospital, but are otherwise doing fine.

Lily looked quite somberly at the article in front of her, no doubt reflecting it on her own family.

'Remember that auror Moody is looking after them,' said Severus as he pulled Lily in close to him. 'That, and Erwin's got to have the sharpest eyes I've ever seen on a Muggle. If anything suspicious is going down in Cokeworth, they'll be out before anything can happen to them.'

'I hope you're right, Sev,' said Lily softly as she leaned up against him.

'Professor,' said Severus as he turned his gaze at Slughorn, 'there's something that I would like to know.'

'What would that be?' Slughorn asked as he started pouring coffee into cups.

'Aren't we supposed to get career advice this year?' Severus asked. 'Our O.W.L. exams are approaching and so far we haven't really discussed anything about the future.'

'I'll admit that I haven't really put a lot of thought into that yet,' said Slughorn. 'Me, along with professor Sprout, Flitwick and McGonagall, have been rather occupied lately regarding the war and Dumbledore's Order.'

'I wasn't aware you were a member?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

'I'm not,' said Slughorn. 'At least not officially, but that doesn't mean that we don't have to play our parts.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus, and reached out for a pumpkin pasty. 'Any idea when we could have our conversation regarding my future career?'

'As far as I'm concerned we could do it right now if you'd like,' said Slughorn.

Severus bit his lip at that. Initially he had planned to have a private conversation with Slughorn, as he still needed to figure out a way to retrieve the memory that Dumbledore had ordered him to get.

'We might as well,' said Severus in defeat.

'Can't Remus and I have some career advice from you as well professor?' Lily asked. 'I know that we're supposed to have this conversation with professor McGonagall, since she's our head of house and all, but perhaps hearing it from another teacher might give me a different perspective.'

'I can honestly tell you, miss Evans,' said Slughorn, 'that there really isn't much to receiving career advice other than you telling me what you're interested in, and me telling you what you need to do in order to achieve it.'

'For a while I've thought about becoming a Healer,' said Lily, 'but now I'm not so sure anymore.'

'Do you know what the cause of your doubt is?' Slughorn asked.

'I think the only reason why I chose that path in the first place is because it's something that I know I'd be good at,' said Lily. 'The problem, however, is that I'm also fairly certain that it wouldn't make me happy.'

Slughorn shot Lily a reassuring smile. 'Never do anything if your heart isn't into it,' he said clearly. 'Is there anything that you know of that would make you happy?'

Lily looked up in order to think, and started smiling to herself. 'Being surrounded by so many potioneers the past couple of months made me realise that I'd like to do something more with that,' she said. 'Looking at mister Mulpeper and mister Winikus run their own respective companies made me think whether I could potentially run my own potion business some day.'

Severus felt his spirit rise a little at Lily imagining a respectable future for herself. Not so much because it was related to potion brewing, but because she was showing that she still believed in having a future within the wizarding world, despite the war and her blood status.

'I have no doubt whatsoever,' said Slughorn, 'that you are capable of becoming a successful potioneer, miss Evans.'

'Thank you, sir,' said Lily, and a blush started to appear on her face. 'I like having the idea of a successful future despite the dangers outside of Hogwarts.'

'I will do anything in my power to help you achieve them,' said Slughorn. 'You want some coffee?'

'I'll take a cup,' said Lily, and took the cup that Slughorn was offering from his hands. 'What about you, Remus? Do you still see a future for yourself?'

'After this weekend I am positive that I was meant to help people with lycanthropy,' said Remus with a look of new found determination. 'Aside from that, maybe I would like to study history.'

'I always thought teaching would suit you,' said Severus, 'but maybe that's just me.'

'Mister Lupin,' said Slughorn, 'you have no idea how grateful the entire Hogwarts staff would be if you could take over professor Binns's class.'

'Does he bore you to tears as well?' Remus asked.

'I'm quite positive his teaching license has expired quite some time ago,' said Slughorn with a frown. 'The problem is that when students fall asleep in his class, they tend to continue to sleep during the next one.'

Severus remembered all too well when students would fall asleep in his class. The usual excuse had always been that they had just dragged themselves out of professor Binns's classroom, and it was the only thing he considered somewhat of a legitimate excuse, after deducting points, of course.

'I do like that idea, Severus,' said Remus. 'Teaching does sound fun, and I'm sure students won't mind if their teacher wasn't present at least once a month.'

'What about you, Sev?' Lily asked. 'Got any ideas for after we graduate?'

'With this war I'm not sure about anything,' said Severus with a shrug.

'Oh don't be such a killjoy,' said Lily with a frown. 'There has got to be something you'd like to do.'

'Fine,' Severus said nonchalantly, 'I'd like to be the next headmaster of Hogwarts.' If it wasn't for the absolute horror that had taken place during his brief time as a headmaster, he almost would have considered it a satisfying job.

Slughorn started to chuckle. 'Dumbledore is not coming off his throne until the day he dies,' he said. 'And knowing him, that will be a long time from now.'

Lily was looking at Severus with amusement. 'Anything a bit more realistic?' she asked.

Perhaps it was a good idea to just name the things that first popped into his head. 'I could work in a music store,' he said, thinking about playing bass. 'Or with motorbikes.'

'What's a motorbike?' Slughorn asked.

'A form of transportation on two wheels that Muggles use,' said Severus. 'I like them a lot.'

As it turns out, it was quite confronting for Severus to think about his future as an open world that wasn't ruled and directed by others. Dumbledore had given him a place at school as a potions master after Slughorn had retired, but only because it had been the safest thing to do. The Dark Lord had declared him headmaster near the end. Both had used him as a spy. All jobs he had never wanted to fulfill.

'I will have to think a little longer about this,' Severus admitted. 'I've never quite looked at my own life as something that I am in complete control of.'


	110. Speaking in Different Voices

' _Is that him?'_

' _Did he really get an Order of Merlin?'_

The stares and whispered already started to get on Severus's nerves during breakfast. Some even had the guts to walk up to him and ask if they could see his medal, to which his response quickly turned into how hard they wanted to have it hurled at their heads. For the first time, he had started to grow a feeling of sympathy for Lily's son and his ability to deal with the fame he never asked for. It was difficult trying to keep your head cool when everyone wanted something from you.

'Think of it this way, Sev,' said Lily after Severus had pushed another Hufflepuff back to his house table. 'In a couple of days it will probably be considered old news and most people will start leaving you alone.'

'I just want them to leave me alone right now,' said Severus, his fork shaking in his hand.

'Hello Severus, I just wanted to—'

'NO!' Severus barked back. 'I really _don't_ want to talk about—oh it's you, Lockhart.'

'Could you please put that fork down?' Lockhart said with a shaky voice. 'It's a bit scary when you hold it like that.'

With a loud clatter, Severus dropped the fork onto the table. 'What is it that you want, Lockhart?'

'Just call me Roy, it's what everybody does,' said Lockhart, looking a lot more willing to talk now that Severus was no longer pointing a fork at him. 'I just came here to say congratulations on receiving the Order of Merlin.'

'Thanks,' Severus mumbled as he folded his hands around a cup of coffee.

'Severus,' said Lockhart carefully, 'we haven't really spoken anymore since, you know, what happened down there in the Chamber.'

'What more is there to talk about?' Severus said without taking another glance at him.

'Well, I was just wondering,' said Lockhart as he voice started to grow dim, 'do you ever, do you—'

'Is this something that Lily and Evan should know about too?' Severus asked, now glancing up at the stuttering Lockhart.

'It's just—it's just,' Lockhart said quietly, 'do you ever get nightmares from when we were down there?'

For a moment the gears in Severus's mind started grinding, until a sudden thought occurred to him. 'Are we talking about nightmares or visions here?' he asked.

'I don't know,' Lockhart whimpered. 'It's just that sometimes I feel like I can still hear _him_ in my head, and it's quite scary.'

'Roy,' said Lily, and looked at Severus as if to say that she would handle this, 'is it okay for me to take you to madam Pomfrey so we can talk about this with her?'

'I would appreciate that,' said Lockhart with pleading eyes.

'Sev, 'said Lily she stood up from the table, 'could you tell professor Slughorn where I am so I can come into class later?'

'I will,' said Severus, still eyeing Lockhart with suspicion. The memory of Lily's son came flooding back to him. He, too, had dealt with visions regarding the Dark Lord, and never had they resulted into anything good when it happened.

Lily and Lockhart had already left when the bell rang, and Severus quickly attached himself to Remus so students wouldn't come up to try and talk to him again.

'Have people been asking you questions as well, Remus?' Severus asked.

'I've literally had a few people come up to me and ask if I was a werewolf,' Remus snarled.

'And what did you say to that?' Severus asked.

'Told them if they also found it normal to ask what's inside someone's pants,' Remus said bitterly.

'You do understand that most people's suspicion is only going to require one word of confirmation,' said Severus.

'I am aware,' said Remus. 'As a matter of fact, I have come up with the idea of exposing the whole thing to the entire school by the end of the year.'

Severus's eyebrows nearly reached his hairline after hearing Remus's exceptionally bold plan.

'I will talk to Dumbledore about it first,' Remus added. 'This past weekend I have come to the understanding that there will always be people who will not accept someone like me into their idea of a safe community. But what I've also learned, is that the majority of people will stand by my side and support me if needed, and even more so now that the Wolfsbane potion exists.'

'Colour me impressed,' said Severus as they entered the potions classroom.

Remus sat down beside Peter as Severus sat down in his usual spot.

'Where's miss Evans?' professor Slughorn asked as he approached Severus at his desk.

'She's in the hospital wing with someone,' said Severus. 'She'll be back later with an excuse note I presume.'

Slughorn nodded in understanding and made his way back to the front of the classroom.

'What did you do to your girlfriend, Snape?' Mulciber said as he kicked against his chair. 'Knocked her up or something?'

'If that were the case I'd be getting it on more than you do,' said Severus.

'Snape's got a point you know,' Avery said laughingly.

'Very funny Snape,' said Mulciber as he gave another kick against Severus's chair. 'Suppose I should congratulate you though, becoming part of an ancient Order an all that.'

'I wouldn't glorify it,' Severus huffed as he smacked his potion's book on the table.

'Malfoy said he met you there,' said Mulciber. 'Told us you've been accusing him of that attack in Hogsmeade.'

'Poor Malfoy,' said Severus in the most lifeless way possible, 'always a victim of his own foolish choices.'

'Today we are going to work on the Volubilis Potion,' said Slughorn from the from the front of the classroom. 'It's a potion that alters the drinker's voice when taken—'

No longer wanting to listen to Mulciber and Avery glorifying Malfoy, Severus strutted his way to the front of the class in search of honeywater and syrup of Hellebore.

'Don't confuse the honeywater for mead, Sirius,' said Severus as Sirius took a bottle of it from the shelves.

Sirius looked down disappointingly at the bottle of golden liquid in his hands. 'I should figure out a way to get more of that for the next full moon,' he said.

'Planning on getting piss drunk again?' Severus asked.

'The only one who got piss drunk was you, Severus,' said Sirius with a tilted eye. 'But aside from that, we haven't really had a proper night of fun in a while. We're thinking about going somewhere else this time.'

'No Shrieking Shack?' Severus asked, feeling hopeful.

'No Shrieking Shack,' Sirius confirmed. 'Peter recently discovered this—'

'—could you two please stop chatting and get back to work?' Slughorn interrupted them.

'Sorry professor,' Severus and Sirius both mumbled, and headed back to their seats with a supply of potion ingredients.

When Severus was halfway finished with his Volubilis Potion, Lily came back baring an excuse note from madam Pomfrey, and sat down beside him.

'That's a Volubilis Potion isn't it?' Lily asked as she looked down at the potion, which was now a violent shade of orange.

'It is,' said Severus, always feeling a little pleased when Lily could recognize a potion when it wasn't even finished. 'I just added the stewed mandrake to it.'

Lily took the syrup of Hellebore and added a few small drops to the potion, causing it to turn blue. 'Now all we need to do is heat it up until it turns red,' she said, 'and then heat is some more until it turns a sunny yellow.'

'Have you made this before?' Severus asked curiously.

'I've made it once inside the girls dormitory,' Lily said with a mischievous grin. 'We were speaking in the teacher's voices the entire night. That was fun.'

After a while the potion had indeed turned into a pleasant shade of yellow, and let out a few sparks to indicate that it was finished.

By the time the bell rang, Severus took both his and Lily's sample up to professor Slughorn's desk. As he placed the phials on the desk, Slughorn took one glance at it, and then looked up at Severus. 'Do I honestly need to test it for a grade?' he asked.

'For formality's sake perhaps,' said Severus, 'but if you don't need to I could just—' He stopped himself from talking, as an idea had just sparked into his head. 'Could I take the potion with me?'

Slughorn took one of the phials into his hand, took a look at it by swirling it around, sniffed it, handed it back and marked both samples as an Outstanding. 'Try not to have too much fun with it,' he said.

'Thank you, professor,' said Severus as he hid the phials inside his robe. He was about to turn around when Slughorn called him back to his desk.

'Severus,' said Slughorn seriously, 'I've been scheduling career advice with my other fifth year students, and I would like you to come and meet me on Saturday.'

'I thought we already had this conversation yesterday?' Severus asked, wondering why he still needed to have this conversation.

'There are some things that I would like to talk to you about in private,' said Slughorn. 'Are you okay with that?'

'Sure,' said Severus, wondering if this was going to be another one of those awkward conversations regarding his relationship with Lily.

'I'll let you know what time to come into my office by Thursday,' said Slughorn. 'Also, Dumbledore asked me to tell you to drop into his office on Sunday. There are some things that he wishes to speak with you about.'

'I will,' said Severus, annoyed at the fact that Dumbledore once again seemed to have left the school without warning. He took one look at Francis, who was swimming between some gillyweed in his fishbowl. 'Have a good day, professor.'

…

Severus was already sitting by the window inside the lab, eagerly awaiting Lily's arrival when she walked in.

'What are you being so happy about?' Lily asked as she approached him.

'Can't I look forward to doing something fun with my girlfriend?' Severus said with a grin.

Lily got a look of pure glee on her face at the mention of fun. 'Do you really have something planned for us?' she asked as she sat down.

'I do,' said Severus, 'but first I would like to know what happened with Lockhart when you took him to the hospital wing.'

'He was upset because he kept having nightmares about having you-know-who taking possession of him,' said Lily. 'Poor boy.'

'Did Pomfrey ask him if they were nightmares or visions?' Severus asked seriously.

'She did,' said Lily. 'Roy was pretty convinced they were just nightmares, as they were just flashbacks of what happened. Made me wonder if Evan is dealing with the same thing though.'

'I don't think he is,' said Severus, feeling a sliver of stress slide of his shoulders now that he was certain Lockhart wasn't still possessed like Lily's son had been. 'I can always hear him snore before I fall asleep and he always wakes up untroubled.'

'That's good to hear,' said Lily. 'What did you and professor Slughorn talk about?'

'He wants me to come to his office on Saturday for career advice,' said Severus with a scowl, 'but I'm quite certain he wants to speak to me about something that isn't career related.'

Lily shot him a pitiful smile, as if she was expecting the same thing to happen that Severus was expecting to happen.

'He also told me that Dumbledore wants to meet me on Sunday,' Severus added, 'meaning that I'll have to miss out on a meeting with the Young Order again.'

'That's a bummer,' said Lily. 'Now what was it that you had planned for us?'

From the inside of his robe, Severus pulled out the two phials of the Volubilis potion. 'I'll admit, the idea came from you entirely.'

With that same mischievous grin on her face, Lily took one phial from Severus's hands. 'Any particular voice you'd like to hear?' she asked as she shook the phial.

'I definitely want to hear you pull an Umbridge,' said Severus, and a shiver ran down his spine at the very thought of it.

'Okay,' said Lily, nodding her head in agreement, 'then I want to hear you do McGonagall.'

'Alright,' said Severus, and they raised their phials before they swallowed their potion whole. 'Bottom's up.'

Lily looked up as if she was trying to envision Umbridge's face, let out the distinctive 'ehm ehm' from the back of her throat, and proceeded to stick her nose up in the air. 'Half-breeds have no place in our society. They are dangerous, evil, and only leech of the ministry's money' said Lily, and quickly clasped her hands around her mouth. 'I sound like I huffed a particularly bad helium balloon.'

Severus was biting his lip to prevent himself from laughing. 'That sounded horribly accurate,' he said.

'Your turn,' said Lily, still speaking in Umbridge's voice.

Severus envisioned McGonagall speaking inside his head and cleared his throat. 'Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts,' he said with a waving finger. 'Anyone messing around in my class with not come back. You have been warned.'

Lily let out an extremely girlish giggle. 'Any other requests?' she asked.

'I would like to hear my own voice,' said Severus, not sure why he even wanted to.

Lily looked Severus deep in the eye, and started laughing before she even said a word. 'I happen to find your voice rather _sexy,_ ' she said in a voice that was far too deep to match her physique, and wiggled with her eyebrows in a seductive manner.

'Do I honestly sound like that?' said Severus wide-eyed, still sounding like McGonagall.

'You do,' said Lily with a nod. 'Your voice must have dropped an octave or two over the past summer. Could you do my voice?'

Severus thought of Lily talking to him and started speaking. 'I thought the entire point of paying taxes to the Ministry is so that the entire wizarding community can take care of one another,' he said passionately in Lily's voice. 'People who deal with lycanthropy have it bad enough. I don't see why we shouldn't collectively help them.'

'Oeh,' Lily rumbled in Severus's low voice, 'I do sound fierce when I'm passionate about something.'

'I love it when you sound fierce,' said Severus as Lily's alto voice fell out of him. 'It's something I find very sexy.'

Lily snorted at Severus's comment. 'I have never heard you use the term sexy before.'

'You just said it yourself,' said Severus, 'in my own voice nonetheless.'

'I also like it when you say my name,' said Lily, and her cheeks started to glow a shade of red. 'Lily.'

'Lily,' she repeated as she tossed her hair back seductively. 'Oh Lily.'

'Please stop it,' said Severus.

'Are you feeling a little turned on, Sev?' Lily asked as she licked her lips.

'Slightly,' Severus admitted with great difficulty, but he lost it when he saw Lily's near pleading look in her eyes. 'Okay, quite a lot.'

'Turned on by your own voice are we?' said Lily with a snort.

'Trust me,' said Severus as softly and seductively as he could with Lily's voice, 'it turns me on a great deal more when I hear you say "oh Severus".

'Say it again,' Lily whispered as she leaned in closer.

'Oh Sev,' said Severus, biting his lip on the V,' you make a great kisser, but you really need to shave.'


	111. Career Advice from Professor Slughorn

Severus was sitting in a corner of the library, working on the last remaining bits of his homework for the week while accompanied by Evan, who was surrounded by a significantly larger pile of work.

'Evan,' said Severus suddenly as he looked up from his essay, 'can I ask you something?'

'Sure,' said Evan as he put his quill down. 'Got something on your mind?'

'Lockhart came up to me a couple of days ago asking if I was dealing with nightmares about what happened in the Chamber,' said Severus.

'And are you?' Evan asked with a raised eyebrow. 'Because if you are you could just ask for help.'

Severus shook his head. 'I'm doing just fine, I was just wondering if you were.'

Evan shrugged it off. 'I'm fine,' he said. 'No nightmares or anything if that's what you mean.'

'Good,' said Severus with a nod approval. 'For a moment I was afraid he might be having visions.'

'He's only twelve,' Evan pointed out, 'and he's the one who got his life nearly leeched out of him out there. It would make sense if that bit is still haunting him.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus. 'Have you already had your career talk with professor Slughorn?'

'This morning,' said Evan. 'Told him I had been more concerned with my family and making it through school than my actual future though.'

'So you don't really have any solid plans either?' Severus asked.

'Right now my only plan is helping the Longbottoms with their shop in Diagon Alley over the summer,' said Evan with a smile, 'and I'm actually kind of looking forward to that. Are you getting a job this summer?'

'Don't need to,' said Severus. 'Since the whole Order of Merlin thing, the potions that Lily and I sell are going through the roof.'

'Maybe you could take Lily out on holiday,' Evan suggested. 'Take her to the coast for the weekend or something.'

'Only if her parents allow it,' said Severus, already envisioning Lily lying on a beach, 'but not the coast, as it would just turn her into a lobster.'

'And here I am thinking you were a brilliant potioneer,' said Evan with a tilted eye. 'Can't you make some sort of salve that could block out the sun entirely?'

'There's something about redheads that just doesn't respond well to salves,' said Severus, but his mind had started rattling on the possibilities of creating something for her.

'There's got to be something you could do though?' said Evan. 'You can't expect her to sit around inside somewhere the entire summer.'

'We're going to visit the Weasleys this summer,' said Severus. 'If I recall correctly, they live in Devon somewhere. Maybe I could take her to Dartmoor in search of unicorns.'

'Aww how romantic,' said Evan with a pouting face. 'You should bring a tent too. Go camping or something.'

'Could you two shut up?' a Ravenclaw girl hissed from behind them. 'Some of us actually _want_ to pass the exams.'

Severus took one glance at her, entirely unimpressed by her angry glare. 'Don't mind me, miss,' he said as he started collecting his books, 'I've got to go see professor Slughorn for my career advice.'

With a wave he left Evan to sit by himself, and made his way down the dungeons.

'It's good to see you, Severus,' said Slughorn. 'Please, take a seat.'

Severus sat down in a chair behind the desk and looked right up at Francis, who was swimming peacefully among his gillyweed as always.

'Francis seems to be doing well,' said Severus in an attempt to start the conversation.

'Ah yes,' said Slughorn joyfully, and looked at the little fish with pride. 'Still the greatest little gift I have ever received. Much better than crystallized pineapple, if I may say so.'

Severus recognized that look Slughorn had on his face as he looked at Francis. He used to look at Pip the same way when he was lying awake in bed at night. It brought him some piece of mind to see a fish swimming around without a care in the world.

'Professor,' said Severus as he tore his eyes away from Francis, 'why exactly did you want me to come and speak with you?'

'Because when we were heading back to Hogwarts from London,' Slughorn said in a much more serious tone, 'you said something that concerned me.'

'And what would that be?' asked Severus, genuinely wondering what he said that could possibly cause concern.

'You said that you never looked at your own life as something that you are in complete control of,' said Slughorn. 'I was wondering what made you say such a thing.'

Severus fell silent for a moment. There were of course, hundreds of reasons tied to why he said what he said, but none he could possibly expose to Slughorn. Perhaps the best thing was to stick to the truth as closely as possible.

'I think the reason why I said that,' said Severus as he looked down steadily at his hands, 'is because over the past couple of years I have gotten myself into a lot of trouble meddling with dark magic.'

'I am aware,' said Slughorn disapprovingly,' but how does that relate to you not envisioning some sort of future for yourself? Surely you weren't planning on being a stay-at-home husband, were you?'

'No sir,' said Severus sternly. 'I was never meant to be the sitting down and settle kind of man.'

'Can I tell you a secret, Severus?' Slughorn asked with a grin on his face.

'For some reason I wonder whether this is truly a secret or not,' said Severus, reading the obvious betrayal on his face.

'Well, I would prefer it if you didn't tell anyone just yet, which I'm sure you won't,' said Slughorn, 'but I've been thinking about retiring ever since my wife passed away and I was wondering, just maybe, if you were interested in taking over my job as a teacher here at Hogwarts once you graduate.'

Severus let out a groan and slumped down in his chair like a proper adolescent. 'Absolutely not.'

Slughorn raised an eyebrow at Severus's unlikely response. 'Do you believe that being a potions master is a wasted opportunity on your behalf?'

'To be honest with you, professor,' said Severus, now sitting with his arms crossed, 'I do believe so.'

'Then tell me, Severus, how come you haven't thought of anything better to do?' Slughorn asked with his hands folded underneath his chin.

'My mind has been rather occupied with the fact that there's a war out there, sir,' Severus stated.

'Would you rather join the fight?' Slughorn asked.

'Yes,' Severus admitted, and pushed himself back up straight, 'because I've done a lot of wrongdoings that I feel I have to make right.'

'Are there any wrongdoings that I should know about?' Slughorn asked, 'or do you prefer to speak with Dumbledore alone about that?'

'Dumbledore and I are working on it,' said Severus, finally seeing his window of opportunity. 'The thing is professor—the thing is, is that I got myself into a lot of trouble. An awful lot.'

'Are you worried about your safety?' Slughorn asked.

Severus shook his head. 'My safety is the least of my concerns. My problem is that when I went through that very dark time in my life, I found out about a lot of things I shouldn't have found out.'

'What do you mean by that?' Slughorn said, shifting back a little further into his chair.

'What I'm trying to tell you here, professor,' said Severus in a voice that didn't sound quite like his own, 'is that I know quite a lot of personal things about the Dark Lord that may get me in trouble if that knowledge is exposed.'

'Then what do you plan on doing, Severus?' Slughorn asked with a growing concern. 'Wouldn't it be better to seek protection rather than throw yourself into the fight?'

'No sir,' said Severus softly. 'Dumbledore and I are currently on a trail to find out what could possibly put an end to the Dark Lord's power. I have already reached that point where there is no turning back.'

Slughorn started to pinch the bridge of his nose as if he was trying to suppress a headache.

'Didn't you teach, you know— _him_?' Severus asked carefully, 'back when he was a student at Hogwarts.'

A shadow fell over Slughorn's face at the mention of the Dark Lord. 'I have,' he said with a stifled nod. 'In fact, he was one of the most brilliant students I have ever had. Not very unlike you.'

'Was he already interested in the Dark Arts back then?' Severus asked. 'Like I was?'

'Sadly, yes,' said Slughorn darkly. 'Asked an awful lot of questions about it too.'

Severus shifted his chair slightly more forward and rested his hands on the desk. 'Do you know a lot about the Dark Arts, professor?'

Cold sweat had started to form on Slughorn's forehead. 'Well—one cannot be sorted in Slytherin and expect to come out not knowing anything about the Dark Arts, do we?'

'I suppose that is true,' Severus admitted. 'You just never struck me as someone who would have an interest in the Dark Arts.'

'It has always been an interest, and nothing more,' said Slughorn defensively. 'The problem however, is that for the longest time I believed that—well, you-know-who, was only interested in the Dark Arts on the same academic level as I was.'

'He is known to be quite the charmer,' said Severus. 'He's got that uncanny ability to smooth talk his way into anything.'

'He spoke with a serpent's tongue,' said Slughorn bitterly.

'Have you told him things you regret telling him, professor?' Severus asked carefully.

'Many things,' said Slughorn darkly. 'Many things that make me wonder just how much damage I have caused.'

Severus could tell that Slughorn had started to subconsciously shut himself out from the conversation, and figured that now at least the seed had been planted when it came to acquiring the memory Dumbledore needed.

'I'm sorry, professor,' said Severus sincerely. 'I think this conversation may have turned a little too personal.'

Slughorn waved it off. 'It's alright, Severus,' he said sadly. 'I can't reverse the things I've done in the past, but what I can say now is that I am very glad to see you turn away from all that darkness before it consumed you whole.'

Severus took it as a cue that it was time to leave. 'Thank you, professor,' he said as he stood up, 'and also thank you for your advice.'

'Are you absolutely certain you don't want to take over my job?' Slughorn asked as he looked up at Severus with hopeful eyes. 'I remember professor Sinistra telling me you had done an excellent job taking over her class sometime back at the beginning of the school year.'

'The idea of teaching doesn't sit well with me,' said Severus, 'but if I ever find myself in a desperate position for a job I will definitely take it into consideration.'

Slughorn nodded in understanding. 'Have a good rest of the afternoon, Severus,' he said.

'Good day, professor,' said Severus, and made his way out of the office.

The moment Severus shut the door behind him, a wave of red hair passed him down the dungeon corridor.

'Sev!' Lily said happily as she caught sight of him. 'There you are.'

'I just got some more career advice from professor Slughorn,' said Severus. 'Were you on your way to the lab?'

'Yes I am,' said Lily, and Severus caught sight of the large pile of books she was carrying in her arms. 'I also just got my career advice from professor McGonagall.'

Severus took a few books from her hands to share the weight as they walked down the corridor. 'Still thinking about starting your own potion business?' he asked with a hopeful tone.

'Yes I am,' said Lily determinedly. 'McGonagall went through all the details with me about what grades I would need and all that. It feels as if I discovered a new purpose in life.'

'And how long is that determination going to last?' Severus teased as he opened the door of the lab. 'A day and a half?'

Lily glared at him as she dropped the pile of books onto the desk. 'Of course not,' she sneered, 'I was aiming for three to four days, at least.'

Severus dropped the rest of her books on the desk and wrapped his arms tightly around her. 'If this is what you truly want,' he said as he looked down at her scowling face with amusement, 'then I will give anything in order to help you achieve that goal.'


	112. On Different Orders

'Do you really have to bail out on us again?' Frank asked, looking borderline hurt at the fact that Severus couldn't join his training with the Young Order once more.

'It's hard to say no to Dumbledore,' said Severus, feeling somewhat guilty as he saw Frank's obvious disappointment etched into his eyes. 'Look, I will try to keep my meeting with him as short as possible so I can still come back here later, alright?'

Frank started to massage his temples out of frustration. 'Then what about this occulmency thing, Severus?' he asked. 'Because honestly, I think it would be wise if we all knew how to protect our minds from intrusion before the end of the summer.'

Severus was quite unsure what to say to that. 'How many more lessons have you planned for us?' he asked.

'Three more in total,' said Frank, 'and all of them squeezed into this month. I wanted to keep June free for everyone who needs to study for their OWLs, which is basically all of us but Regulus.'

'I understand,' said Severus. 'If you want you could have Evan do some mind exercises with everyone. I could test to see if it has worked by next week.'

'I'll run it passed him,' Frank said with a nod. 'Good luck with Dumbledore.'

With a quick turn on the balls of his feet, Frank turned around and closed the door of the Room of Requirement behind him, leaving Severus to stand by himself in the corridor of the seventh floor.

For a fraction of a moment, Severus contemplated yanking the door open and to just move his appointment with Dumbledore to some other day, but he knew that that wasn't an option, and so he turned around and made his way towards Dumbledore's office instead.

'Hello Severus,' Dumbledore said joyfully as Severus walked into his office. Fawkes was sitting perched on his knee, singing softly as Dumbledore petted him. 'I can tell you're not in a good mood.'

'Frank Longbottom got mad at me for not making it to the training again,' said Severus grudgingly as he sat down in his usual chair. 'I don't like seeing him angry. It doesn't suit him.'

'Do you understand why mister Longbottom is mad at you, Severus?' asked Dumbledore as his blue eyes pierced straight into Severus's.

'I just told you it's because I'm not making it to the training,' said Severus sharply, and poured him and Dumbledore a cup of tea.

Dumbledore smiled and shook his head. 'That is not the case, Severus,' he said as he took the cup of steaming hot tea from Severus's hands. 'The reason why mister Longbottom is mad at you is because he wants you around. Because you matter to him.'

Fawkes seemed to have taken notice at Severus's foul mood, hopped away from Dumbledore's knee, and sat down in front of him.

'Hello Fawkes,' said Severus softly as he started to stroke him gently on the head with a finger. 'Are you and Leo still spending time together?'

'Leo still flies in through the window in occasion,' Dumbledore reassured him.

'I'm glad to hear that,' said Severus, and felt his spirit rise a little, which undoubtedly was because of Fawkes's presence. 'And I suppose you are right about Frank. I hadn't thought of it that way.'

'Sometimes when your thoughts form a wall inside your mind,' said Dumbledore, 'it helps to try and think the opposite.'

Severus nodded along in understanding and noticed Gryffindor's sword leaning up against the wall behind Dumbledore. 'I was surprised to see you reveal the sword during the ceremony,' he said as he nodded in the sword's general direction.

'It's part of an old tradition that I like to maintain,' said Dumbledore as he grabbed the sword from behind him. 'I could have performed the accolade with any sword, but I chose this one for a particular reason.'

' Is it because of what happened down in the Chamber of Secrets?' Severus asked.

'Yes, and no,' said Dumbledore as he admired the rubies that were set into the hilt. 'As you know, the reason why miss Evans was able to pull the sword out of the hat is because she is a member if Gryffindor's house, but there are other ways in order to achieve that.'

'And what would those be?' Severus asked.

'The sword is enchanted,' said Dumbledore. 'It does not only grow stronger with what it is imbued with, but also recognizes the traits in people that Gryffindor himself valued most when touched. When I declared you an official member of the Order of Merlin, the sword, shall we say, tapped into you, recognizing you as a man worthy to wield it.'

'I think I understand where this is going,' said Severus, becoming more intrigued as Dumbledore's story progressed.

'It has been a very daring act on you and mister Belby's behalf to create the Wolfsbane potion,' said Dumbledore as he put the sword down on the desk. 'It you are ever in need of its aid, it will come to you as a loyal servant, whether you are a member of the house of Slytherin or not.'

'I will keep that in mind,' said Severus, now, too, admiring the handsome hilt of the sword.

'On an entirely different note, Severus,' said Dumbledore, 'have you been able to handle the pressure of being recognized by the entire school?'

'I would have preferred to stay invisible,' Severus admitted. 'It's been a nuisance to say the least.'

'From what I understand it has had a rather positive impact on that potion business you and miss Evans are running,' said Dumbledore with a peak over his glasses.

'I see you are aware of that,' said Severus stiffly.

'I am not going to tell you to quit your business, Severus,' said Dumbledore firmly, 'but I would like to say that I do not condone the sales of dangerous potions, and I would also appreciate it if you didn't put madam Pomfrey out of business. She has been wondering where all the stressed students are.'

'What makes you think we're selling dangerous potions?' Severus asked with a frown.

'I am not,' said Dumbledore as he shook his head. 'I'm merely telling you this for formalities sake because you are not the first student to run such a business, and I am also certain that you won't be the last.'

'Understood,' said Severus with a nod. 'Could you—could you explain to me what it means to be part of the Order of Merlin?'

'It means that you are part of an ancient and honourable Order,' Dumbledore explained. 'It also means that everyone who is a member—and alive I should add, could meet if there ever is such a time when help is needed. And with this war, there may come a time where it happens.'

'So from what I understand I can be a part of an ancient and honourable Order,' said Severus almost grudgingly, 'but I can't join the Order of the Phoenix yet?'

'We have talked about this before, Severus,' said Dumbledore. 'It is not because I don't want you to join my Order, but because for as long as you are underage, I simply cannot let you in.'

Severus knew that with Dumbledore's statement, the argument was over. He knew he could join the Order of the Phoenix by the time he turned seventeen, which would be during the Christmas break of his sixth year. From that point on he would have to choose if he wanted to return to Hogwarts, or start fighting in a war that was bound to grow on a more massive scale.

'You seem conflicted,' Dumbledore added. 'What is making this so difficult for you?'

'Knowing that by next year this war will grow,' said Severus. 'Knowing that making it through all seven years of magical education is going to be difficult to achieve when you know you're much better off using your knowledge to stop the darkness from spreading. Knowing that I know too much.'

'There is a lot of knowing going on inside of you, isn't there?' Dumbledore asked.

'More than I would like to admit,' said Severus, and subconsciously started petting Fawkes a bit more vigorously. 'Do you still want to know about the Death Eaters I saw at the Ministry?'

From a large pile of papers, Dumbledore pulled out an empty sheet of parchment and handed it to Severus, along with a quill and ink. 'Write the names down for me,' he said. 'I cannot promise you that I will be able to do anything as long as any of them don't do anything out of the ordinary, but I will try to keep an eye out nonetheless.'

As Severus started scribbling down the names, he remembered to mention what he had found out about Malfoy. 'I performed legilimency on Lucius Malfoy,' he said without taking his eyes of the parchment. 'As it turns out, mister Crouch was right. He wasn't the one involved in the attack in Hogsmeade.'

Dumbledore sat back in his chair and looked up to think. 'Someone must have taken his physical appearance then in order to stay anonymous.'

'I suspect that someone used polyjuice potion,' said Severus as he handed the list of names to Dumbledore. 'Either way, this means that it's going to be extremely difficult to find out who is responsible for the attack, aside from Bellatrix Black.'

From another pile of books on the desk, Dumbledore pulled out the damaged diary. 'Are we certain that this is what they must have been after?' he asked.

'Positive,' said Severus, 'and I've made sure Malfoy understood that he was never getting it back. He has no idea it's been destroyed though.'

'Then I will keep it save and locked up in here,'said Dumbledore as he placed the diary inside a drawer. 'Aside from the list of Death Eaters, is there anything else you would like to talk about?'

Severus contemplated it for a second, still having the desire to leave and join the Young Order for training, but he figured it was better to have this conversation rounded up well. 'Has Remus Lupin been here by any chance?' he asked.

'He has,' Dumbledore confirmed, 'and I think it's safe to say that he has told me the same thing that he has told you.'

'He's thinking about exposing his secret to the entire school,' said Severus. 'Too many people already figured it out. It's as if they're all waiting for the confirmation.'

'I have told mister Lupin that if he really feels the need to be honest about his condition, that I will not stop him from doing so,' said Dumbledore, 'but I also warned him that just because the Wolfsbane Potion is now available to him, it doesn't mean that the stigma revolving his condition has significantly changed. If he does expose himself by the end of the school year, he will have to face the consequences that there will be students, and more specifically the parents of students, who may not want him to attend Hogwarts altogether.'

'What would happen to him if too many people want to see him gone?' Severus asked out of concern.

'Mister Lupin has told me that if he is no longer welcome at Hogwarts, he will consider moving in with the Belby family up in Edinburgh and devote his time to help other werewolves,' said Dumbledore. 'He has assured me that all of that has already been arranged if the time ever comes.'

It was as if Remus was already two steps ahead of everything Severus had thought about, and a sliver of pride ran though him knowing that his friend was smart enough to create a safety net large enough to catch him if his exposure were indeed to backfire.

'It's good to hear that he's put a lot a lot more effort into this than I initially thought he had,' said Severus.

'Now, is there anything else you wish to talk about before I let you go back to your meeting?' Dumbledore asked.

'There's one more thing,' said Severus. 'Yesterday I got my career advice from professor Slughorn, and I tried to figure out what memory I needed to aim for that I could possibly retrieve from him.'

'Any luck?' Dumbledore asked with a hopeful tone.

'I know now that it is related to something he has told the Dark Lord when he was still a student here,' said Severus. 'What that is, however, I don't know.'

'Have you tried using leglimency on him?' Dumbledore asked.

Severus shook his head. 'What I know is too vague in order to figure out what I need to aim at. Riddle's been his student for seven years, meaning that I would have to go through seven years of memories in order to search for something that I'm not even sure about.'

Dumbledore nodded in understanding. 'It is a step closer. There is a fair chance you have loosened him up a little to the idea of telling me what he has done, now that he knows it could potentially help to bring down Voldemort, so I suggest you leave the rest to me.'

'I will,' said Severus, somewhat relieved that he no longer had to think about retrieving the memory. 'Is there anything you would like to add before I leave?'

Dumbledore put up a small, mischievous sort of smile. 'From my observations it seems as if you have grown used to being an adolescent man again.'

'I'm starting to acknowledge the positive side-effects to being young again,' said Severus in agreement. 'And not just physically, but also in the fact that not having to carry adult responsibilities is a weight of my shoulders.'

'It is good to see you have such a close connection to your new family,' said Dumbledore sincerely. 'It must feel good to be wanted.'

'It is, 'said Severus, and started smiling despite of himself. 'Especially with Erwin. He's already much older than I was when I died, so I can't help but look up to him and still see him as some sort of an authoritative figure. I have a great deal of respect for him.'

'Then I suggest you enjoy being young while it lasts,' said Dumbledore with that familiar twinkle in his eye. 'I will notify you right away if I find out anything about the people you listed on this sheet of parchment, and I bid you a very good day.'

Leaving a somewhat disappointed looking Fawkes behind, Severus made his way back to the Room of Requirement. The conversation hadn't been that long, and so he was certain they were still inside, practicing whatever Frank had planned for them.

As soon as he opened the door, a wave of hexes and spells shot passed him, and saw plenty of objects being torn up and used as shields as means of protection.

'Severus!' Frank called out happily. 'You came back!'

'I did say I was going to keep it short,' said Severus happily, and carefully dodged a few spells as he made his way to where Frank was standing.

'Sorry I was being such an arse to you earlier,' said Frank as he patted Severus on the shoulder.

'It's fine,' said Severus. 'I wouldn't like it either if I kept planning lessons for people who weren't going to show up.'

'It's not that,' said Frank as he dodged a hex by an inch. 'I just really enjoy having you around mate. You matter to me.'

'Thank you,' said Severus sincerely, remembering what Dumbledore had told him earlier.

'Looks like Lily is out there waiting for you,' said Frank as he pointed at Lily across the room. 'I'd be careful if I were you. She's as sneaky as a fox.'

From across the room Severus could see Lily twirling her wand between her fingers, and smiled an evil grin. 'Are you ready, Sev?' she said with wiggling eyebrows.

'Bring it on lady Evans. Bring it on.'


	113. Mead & Weed I

'So what exactly are we doing tonight?' Severus asked. He had just finished up making a new batch of Invigorating Draught for Lily to sell, and started stacking them up on the shelves.

'We are going to meet up with the whole group on the Grand Staircase later,' said Lily as she cleaned out her cauldron.

'The Grand Staircase?' Severus asked with a tilted eye. 'But Remus—'

'—It's all under control,' Lily interrupted. 'Remus will be hiding underneath Potter's cloak and Peter is going to lead us to a place that he recently discovered.'

'I don't like the sound of this at all,' said Severus as he sat down beside Lily. 'What if Remus is caught? Then what?'

'It really is too bad that you didn't get to hear what the plan was during the Young Order meeting,' said Lily as she cupped Severus's face with her hands. 'Thing is, since there are too many of us we can't go down to the grounds without raising suspicion. The other problem is that most of us still haven't seen Remus in his werewolf form—myself included—and so we needed to find another private place where we could go.'

'Right now the Room of Requirement sounds like a much better option than whatever Peter has discovered,' said Severus with a snarl.

Lily gave him a reassuring kiss and moved his hair behind his ears with both her hands. 'Try to have a little faith in Peter, alright?'

Severus wanted to snap a million reasons to her as to why they shouldn't, but kept his mouth shut about it all the same. 'But why the Grand Staircase?' he asked in frustration. 'That makes absolutely no sense at all.'

Lily pressed her forehead against his and wrapped her arms over his shoulders. 'Trust me on this one, alright? But I must say, I find it very endearing that you worry so much about your friend's safety.'

'Too bad he's also friends with a group of idiots,' said Severus softly. 'But fine, I'll trust you on your word.'

Severus could smell Lily's familiar musky scent, and a warm feeling started to rise up inside of him with a desire to taste more of her. 'Do we have to go yet?' he asked as he brushed his lips down her neck.

'I'm afraid so,' said Lily, and closed her eyes to give in to the sensation of Severus's gentle caressing. 'I like it when you do that.'

After a few more kisses Severus managed to pull himself away. 'Then I suppose we better grab our things and go,' he said, and saw the disappointment in Lily's eyes. 'Not to worry, I'm not finished with you yet.'

'I'll keep that in mind,' said Lily as she bit her lip, making Severus feel all fluffy on the inside. 'Could you hand me my backpack?'

'What are you bringing with you?' Severus asked as he handed her the surprisingly heavy backpack.

'You'll see,' said Lily with a smile. 'We better get going.'

More confused than ever, Severus followed Lily out of the dungeons and towards the grand staircase. The castle was already mostly deserted by now, and he wondered if Remus had already reached the point of transformation.

'There they are,' said Lily after they walked up a few staircases, and Severus noticed that the entire Young Order was standing in front of a portrait.

'Where's Remus?' Severus asked as he took notice of his absence.

'Right behind you,' Remus whispered in Severus's ear, causing him to freeze up a little. 'I'm under Potter's invisibility cloak.

'Alright Wormtail,' said Potter enthusiastically. 'Now that everyone's here, go do your thing.'

Peter turned to the portrait and wished him a formal hello. The portrait depicted a man wearing a red robe behind a writing desk, and with a starry night sky and a full moon behind him.

'Everyone, this is the poet Percival Pratt,' said Peter with a gesture towards the portrait. 'Mister Pratt is someone who guards a secret passageway.'

'Neat!' said Evan. 'Where does it lead to?'

'Now that, I would like to keep as a surprise,' said Peter with a grin. 'I can guarantee you'll love it though.'

'Mister Pratt,' said Peter while scraping his throat. 'May we enter the secret passage, please?'

" _You may enter if you wish,_

_but before you go, you must tell me this,  
What is the password? I haven't heard…"_

'This password is absurd!' Peter blurted out.

" _Pass my friend, and enter through: I open now, this way to you."_

Percival Pratt swung open the portrait with a gesture of his hand, and revealed a dark and narrow tunnel.

'Looks a little spooky,' said Regulus. 'I can't see the end of it.'

'That's because it's quite a long walk,' said Peter. 'We better get going before anyone sees us.'

Severus, along with several others, whispered 'lumos', and the tips of their wands lid the way. The tunnel, which was descending steadily, reassembled a much narrower version of the dungeons.

'Remus,' Severus called out. 'Are you still behind me?'

'Just keep going,' said Remus from a distance. 'I can feel my transformation coming up.'

'I better go and stay with him,' Severus whispered to Lily. 'I'll see you at the end of wherever this tunnel is leading us to.'

'Remus, where are you?' Severus called out, but the sound of cracking bones betrayed his location.

After a moment or two Severus felt confident enough to pull the invisibility cloak off, and revealed a sulky looking werewolf sprawled all over the cold stone floor.

'That hurt,' Remus snarled, still panting loudly from the transformation.

'Then consider it the next step in improving the Wolfsbane Potion,' said Severus. 'Ready to go on?'

With great effort, Remus pushed himself up on all four legs and slowly dragged himself forward. 'I wonder how everyone's going to react,' he said fearfully.

'Probably no less shocked than anyone else was who has seen you as a werewolf before,' Severus pointed out. 'The fact that I'm standing beside you and you're not eating me might be a contributing factor.'

'I hope you're right, Severus,' said Remus with his head hanging down. 'I hope you're right.'

'Do you have any idea where this tunnel leads to?' Severus asked after a while. 'I'm not very keen on ending up in unexpected places.'

'I'd tell you, but we're already there,' said Remus, and pointed with his snout at what looked like a half opened portrait door.

Severus took the lead and pushed the door further open. He was standing in a place that he recognized as the underground boathouse. The arched rafters made the place look like an upside-down boat, and the dock was extended beyond the curtain of Ivy that was hanging from the cliff's face.

The whole group was busying themselves to make the place a little bit more presentable. Mary had just started a fire right in the middle of the boathouse, and Peter had started pulling floating candles out of his own backpack to lighten up the place.

'Is it safe for Remus to come out?' Severus asked the group.

The few who hadn't seen Remus in his werewolf form yet were looking a bit more frightened than the rest.

'Is he doing alright?' asked Potter. 'I thought we still had some time left before he would transform.'

'I'm fine,' said Remus weakly from behind the portrait. 'I'm more worried about everyone else still being fine after seeing me.'

Severus held the portrait door open for Remus. 'Just get it over with,' he whispered to him.

Remus nodded and pushed his ears upright. 'Just get it over with,' he repeated to himself.

As expected, the ones who had never seen Remus as a werewolf before jumped back at the very sight of him.

'Holy shit Remus!' Regulus blurted out. 'You're huge!'

Lily, along with the other girls, was unable to produce any sound as her eyes locked into those with Remus's.

'I can hardly believe it's you,' said Frank, looking torn between being curious and frightened.

'It's definitely me,' said Remus, making everyone look even more amazed than they had before.

'You can speak?' said Frank, and his curiosity started to win from his fear.

'Thank Severus for that one,' said Remus. 'I promise I won't hurt anyone.'

Lily had taken it as a cue to approach Remus. 'This is going to sound weird but, can I touch you?'

Remus subconsciously started wagging his tail. 'I do like it when I get scratched behind my ears,' he said, baring his teeth as he attempted to smile.

'Those are some very sharp teeth you got,' Lily whimpered, pulling her hand back the moment she saw them.

'Sorry,' said Remus shamefully, and immediately wiped the smile off his face.

As Lily started to scratch Remus behind his ears, the rest of the group approached him as well. 'You're not half as scary now that I know you can talk,' said Alice.

It didn't take long before all the girls had grown confident enough to approach Remus, and quickly they had formed a circle around him to pet him. Remus obviously wasn't hiding the fact that he was enjoying himself.

'Would you look at that,' said Sirius as he put his own backpack down. 'Remus has transformed from being a feared monster to a cute puppy girl magnet, all because of your potion, Severus.'

The only thing Severus had eye for was Lily petting Remus, and a feeling of jealousy washed over him.

'You're not the only one,' Frank murmured to Severus. 'Look at Alice fawning all over him. Wish I was a cute dog.'

Sirius started laughing his distinctive barking laugh.

'What are you laughing at?' Frank asked with a frown.

'Absolutely nothing,' said Sirius with a cough. 'Look what I brought with me.' From the inside of his backpack, Sirius pulled out a large collection of tiny amber coloured bottles. With a quick Engorgement Charm with the tip of his wand he brought them back to their original size. 'I brought mead with me, and some cigarettes.'

'I brought snacks with me,' said Potter as he started pulling out bags full of Honeyduke supplies.

'I also brought something with me,' said Frank, but I need everyone to come and sit around the fire for that.

Once the whole group had gotten used to Remus's transformed state, they all gathered around the fire Mary had created earlier.

Lily sat down beside Severus and handed him a bottle of the mead Sirius had brought along. 'Still worried Remus will be exposed?' she asked.

'I think we're pretty safe out here,' said Severus, looking around the place in agreement. 'Maybe we should come back here together one of these days.'

'I like that idea,' said Lily, and wrapped Severus's arm around herself.

'What you got for us, Frank?' Regulus asked curiously, 'because I got a feeling it's something we're technically not supposed to be doing.'

'Neither is drinking mead,' said Frank with a mischievous grin. 'But this is something that I worked very hard on over the past couple of months, and I figured I would get the most joy out of it if I shared it with all of my friends.'

'Spoken like a true Hufflepuff,' said Alice, and by the look on her face she already knew what Frank was about to present.

From the inside of his pocket, Frank pulled out a large brown paper bag. 'As most of you know, I'm rather good at Herbology,' he explained. 'Professor Sprout has given me a private section of a greenhouse to work my own magic, and needles to say, I have taken great advantage of it.'

Sirius was looking wide-eyed at the paper bag Frank was holding, as if he already knew what was going to follow. 'No way!' he said. 'Have you really been—'

'—yes indeed,' said Frank. 'I have grown an excellent supply of pure quality _weed.'_

Sirius shifted a little closer to Frank and looked inside the bag he was holding. 'Look at that Devil's Lettuce,' he said with a sniff. 'This is magnificent.'

'I just had a flashback,' Severus mumbled to Lily.

'You've smoked it before?' Lily asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Never,' said Severus, a smile already starting to appear on his face. 'But I remember grandma Singh calling it Ganja.'

'Grandma Singh was something special, wasn't she?' Lily said with a snort.

'I figured we could use some relaxation now that most of us have exams coming up,' said Frank. 'Also, please don't feel pressured into smoking it. It's fine if you don't want to.'

Lily nudged Severus gently in his ribs. 'Are you going to try it, mister I-like-being-in-control?'

'Yes I am,' said Severus without hesitation.

'Mind if I say I'm surprised?' said Lily. 'I didn't expect you would.'

'Let's just say I should enjoy being young while it lasts,' said Severus, and planted a kiss on her cheek.

'Dumbledore really has a special kind of influence on you, doesn't he?' said Lily.

'As much as I hate to admit it, he does,' said Severus. 'And besides, drinking mead isn't going to give me any more control over myself than smoking weed will.'

'Fair enough,' said Lily, and pulled her backpack in front of her. 'I brought something along as well.'

From the inside of her backpack, Lily pulled out a miniature version of an acoustic guitar. With the same Engorgement Charm Sirius had put on his bottles of mead, Lily grew the guitar back to its original size. 'Did you bring your drumsticks, Sirius?' she asked.

'I sure did,' said Sirius as he held up his drumsticks. 'I don't go anywhere without these things. From the inside of his backpack he also pulled out a small drum pad and enlarged it to its proper size.

'I should've brought a bass,' said Severus.

'You think I came unprepared?' said Lily, and from the inside of her backpack she pulled out an acoustic bass as well.

'You never fail to amaze me, Lily,' said Severus as he happily took over the bass she had brought along with her. 'I have a feeling this is going to be a night to remember.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Full moon fell on Thursday the 13th of May 1976.
> 
> A/N Percival Pratt is shown as a portrait in several movies and some video games. The password in the game was "this password is absurd!"
> 
> A/N "Ganja" is the Sanskrit word for "hemp".
> 
> A/N A spliff is weed mixed with tobacco.


	114. Mead & Weed II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Prepare yourselves for some rock&roll history.

'Can I have some of your cigarettes Sirius?' asked Frank. 'I could use the tobacco so Alice and I can make a few spliffs out of it.'

As Frank and Alice went to work, most of the group had popped open their bottles of mead, and Peter was making sure Remus was able to drink along as well.

'This has got to be the greatest thing I've ever seen,' said Emma. 'A werewolf, chugging alcohol.'

'You should see him have a smoke,' said Evan. 'It's hilarious.'

'Can't argue with that,' said Remus, still licking his lips after Peter had put down the bottle.

'Is there anyone here who doesn't want to smoke?' Frank asked to the whole group.

Mary stuck her hand up in the air. 'Well, I do want to try,' she said, 'but I have absolutely no idea what to expect.'

'Basically weed is an enhancer,' Frank explained. 'It will intensify your mood and sensations.'

'It will also give you the munchies,' Potter added. 'As long as you're in a good mood when you smoke it you have nothing to fear.'

'Music's going to sound a lot more intense as well,' said Sirius. 'Which reminds me, Lily, got any songs in mind?'

'That song from Bob Seger,' said Lily. 'You know, the one we listened to during music class earlier today?'

'Turn The Page you mean?'said Sirius. 'That's got to be one of the greatest biker songs I've ever heard.'

'I got the chords down if you want to play it,' said Lily, already fumbling with her tuning pegs to bring her guitar in tune.

Before Lily could start playing however, Frank passed her a perfectly rolled up spliff. 'It's strong enough for the both of you,' he said. 'Huff _le_ puff my friends.'

'Thanks Frank,' said Lily as she held the spliff between two fingers. 'Will you do me the honour, Sev?'

With a snap of his fingers, Severus lit the tip of the spliff Lily held firmly between her lips. She inhaled deeply, started to get teary eyed, and loudly coughed up the smoke. 'Strong stuff indeed,' she squeaked.

'It'll kick in quick enough,' said Frank, and lit up a spliff for himself to share with Alice.

After a few more puffs Lily seemed to have gotten the hang of it. 'I'm warning you, Sev,' she said with a giggle, 'this kicks in a lot quicker than I thought.'

Severus took the burning spliff from her hands, and noticed that her pupils had already started to dilate a little. Carefully, he inhaled deeply and blew the smoke out of his lungs, leaving behind a harsh burning sensation in his throat. After he was certain his lungs wouldn't protest, Severus carefully inhaled again, and this time he started to feel himself grow lightheaded.

'Anyone else feeling it yet?' Evan asked. 'I think I'm starting to feel mine…'

Sirius had started tapping rhythmically with his drumsticks on his drum pad, and Potter had already unwrapped his first chocolate bar. 'If anyone want some food you can just grab it,' he said.

'Could you give me an "E" Lily?' Severus asked. 'The song's in standard tuning if I remember correctly.'

As Lily hit the E-string on her guitar, her mouth fell open in surprise. 'That sounds amazing doesn't it?'

Severus, who so far hadn't noticed anything other than feeling light headed, was looking at Lily with amusement. 'Looks like someone's getting a kick out of this.'

'Did I ever tell you how handsome I think you are?' said Lily as she rested her head against his shoulder.

Never,' said Severus, and her distinctive scent came traveling through his nostrils, filling him up with sweet delight. 'But I would love to hear you say it.'

Lily looked up so their eyes met, and a blush started to appear on her cheeks. 'I think you are very handsome,' she said with a wide smile.

Severus felt the corners of his mouth form into a grin, and for some odd reason he was unable to bring them down again to a neutral position. 'And I think you are very beautiful lady Evans,' he said.

'Are we going to play a song or what?' asked Sirius. 'I want that song to get unstuck in my mind.'

With a pick Lily produced out of her pocket, she started playing the first chords of the song, and Sirius started to sing along when the verse kicked in.

" _One a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha. You can listen to the engine moanin' out his one note song…"_

'You sound like that Stubby Boardman when you sing Sirius,' Mary said suddenly. 'You know, that lead singer from The Hobgoblins?'

'Holy shit he does,' said Remus with a look of utter amazement on his face. 'That is so cool.'

In the meantime Severus had given the spliff back to Lily, who was now blowing smoke with a bit more confidence.

'Why don't you sing more often?'asked Severus.

Sirius shrugged at Severus's question. 'Because I preferred the drums I guess.'

'You've got an American soul brother,' said Regulus. 'Remember that bloke we met last summer? He introduced us to a lot of American music then.'

'Yeah,' said Sirius as he looked up dreamily. 'He introduced us to Bob Dylan, and The Eagles, and Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Johnny Winter—'

'Winter is so good!' said lily as she passed the spliff back to Severus. 'If only I could play half as well as he does…'

'Then what about Jimi Hendrix?' said Sirius teasingly. 'Can you play one of his songs?'

'I'm thoroughly convinced Hendrix is a wizard,' said Lily flatly. 'I mean, it's almost unnatural how good he is with a guitar, not to mention all the purple and green he wears—'

At the mention of purple, Severus had started humming "Purple haze", causing the rest of the group to snicker.

'I think Severus is starting to feel it,'s aid Frank. 'You doing alright mate?'

'I'm good,' said Severus as he bobbed his head. 'I keep hearing a clusterfuck of music mixing in my head.'

'I got the perfect song we could sing,' said Sirius, 'and I'm going to dedicate it to Mary and Regulus, since they make such a wonderfully skeptical couple.'

'Skeptical?' Mary asked with a raised eyebrow. 'When Am I ever skeptical?'

'Since always,' said Potter bluntly. 'Hey Wormtail, don't forget to share some with Moony.'

Peter passed on his spliff by shoving it between Remus's teeth, causing the whole group to start roaring with laughter.

'You better start singing that song real quick Padfoot,' said Remus through his teeth. 'There's not enough alcohol in the world that can drown out how embarrassing this is.'

'Lily,' Sirius called out. 'Remember how to play "Simple Man" from Lynyrd Skynyrd?'

'Of course I do,' said Lily, already putting her fingers in position to pick the right notes.

As Sirius started singing the song, Severus got distracted by all the floating candles Peter had put up in the air earlier. The acoustic bass lying entirely forgotten in his hands.

"… _take your time…don't live too fast. Troubles will come and they will pass…"_

'Don't you remember the bass notes, Sev?' Lily asked in a voice that sounded very distant.

It was growing rather hot inside the boathouse, and a part of Severus's mind was blaming the candles and the campfire for that.

" _And be a simple kind of man. Be something you love and understand."_

Severus only just realized that his bass was strummed too high for the song, making the few notes he managed to squeeze out sound all wrong.

" _Boy, don't you worry. You'll find yourself. Follow your heart, and nothing else."_

'—anyone else feeling a little turned on by all this?' said Emma entirely out of the blue.

'I am,' said Potter as he lied down on his back. 'There's just something about weed that puts me in the mood.'

'Of course you'd be the one to get all horny,' said Peter, causing Remus to drop his spliff as he started howling from laughter.

'What's so funny?' asked Alice, looking around as if she really wanted to join in on the joke. 'But you're right James, weed can really put someone in the mood.'

'Have you and Frank, you know, smoked it before getting it on?' asked Emma. 'Evan and I have never done that before but it looks interesting.'

'I can honestly tell you that it's amazing,' said Alice, and she looked up as if she were thinking about all the good memories she shared smoking weed with Frank. 'What about you Lily? Getting a little turned on as well?'

'I'm a redhead Alice,' Lily pointed out as she whipped her hair. 'I'm always in the mood.'

'So have you and Severus had sex yet?' asked Mary boldly, as if she forgot that Severus was still sitting right beside her.

From the corner of his eye Severus could see Potter looking intensely in Lily, and it bothered him deeply that he knew Potter would take great satisfaction in knowing that Lily was still a virgin.

'We haven't,' said Lily. 'We're both waiting until—'

'Please don't say you're waiting for your wedding day?' Potter said with an evilness to him. 'You never struck me as the traditional type, Evans.'

'That's not what I was saying,' said Lily defensively. 'We're just—'

But Lily didn't have the chance to finish her sentence. Severus had tossed the bass aside, grabbed his bottle of mead and made his way onto the dock that passed through the low hanging ivy.

The very last thing Severus wanted to deal with was Potter's opinion on the intimacy he shared with Lily, or lack thereof. Feeling much angrier than he normally would, he sat down cross-legged at the very end of the dock, completely surrounded by darkness aside from the full moon that was peaking out through the clouds.

He wasn't quite sure if it was the weed or the alcohol that was putting him in such a rage about something that shouldn't have to weigh so heavily. And yet it did.

To keep himself occupied, or more simply as a way to create a distraction from his screaming thoughts, Severus had pulled out his wand and started creating a tiny floating ball of light. With a swift motion, he released the little light to float just above the surface of the lake, making it look like a particularly bright firefly was flying around.

He watched the little light drift off across the surface, until suddenly a large tentacle reached out, causing the light to defuse the moment it touched the cold water.

From the tip of his wand, Severus started to conjure a whole bunch of lights, and sent them off in all directions. This seemed to please the giant squid greatly, as it swam off in all directions to chase after the lights. It was a welcoming distraction.

'Sev,' Lily called out from behind him. 'Mind if I join you?'

'Sure,' said Severus, not entirely sure if he actually wanted her to break the silence.

Lily sat down beside him in a similar fashion at the end of the dock. 'Those lights are very pretty,' she said in an attempt to strike a conversation.

'I suppose,' said Severus with a snarl, and took a large gulp from his bottle of mead.

'Isn't that what a Patronus Charm looks like?' Lily asked. 'All bright and full of positive energy?'

'Sort off,' said Seeverus curtly. 'A full corporeal Patronus conjures a spirit guardian.'

'Any idea what mine would look like?' asked Lily, and reached out to take a hold of his hand.

Severus shook his head, knowing very well what her spirit guardian would look like.

'I think yours would be a turtle,' said Lily.

'A turtle?' Severus asked as he looked up at her, surprised by her sudden assumption. 'Why a turtle?'

'Because you are a little bit like a turtle,' said Lily. 'You always carry a shell with you, ready to disappear when things seem to go beyond your control.'

His patronus wasn't a turtle. He knew that much, but it was still painfully accurate to hear Lily compare him to a creature that carries its own burden on its back.

'Look, Sev,' said Lily in a tone that Severus knew would turn the conversation, 'I'm sorry about what I said out there.'

'It's not about what you said,' Severus stated. 'The fault lies with me and me alone.'

'What fault would that be?' asked Lily with a hint of concern. 'There really isn't any fault in how we choose to be intimate.'

A lump had started to form in Severus's throat, and a silence fell between them.

' _Hey little bro_ ,' Sirius said in the distance as if he just had an epiphany. ' _Remember that same American bloke telling us about what they call Muggles over in the States?_ '

' _I remember that!_ ' said Regulus laughingly. _'I remember because we had to explain to him what Muggles were because he had no idea. And then he said something along the lines of, "well, in the states we just call them No-Maj, No Magic Folks you know. We kept it simple.'_

'Sev?' said Lily. 'Sev, are you still in there?'

Severus must not have heard Lily talk. His mind kept wondering off all over the place in search of distraction. 'No,' he said weakly. 'I'm not sure where I am.'

'Do I need to take you back to the castle?' she asked. 'I'm sure madam Pomfrey won't ask any questions.'

'I prefer not to,' said Severus. 'I want to stay here until all of this is over.'

'Could you please just talk to me if you want to stay here?' said Lily, and Severus could tell she was a bit upset. 'Could you please just tell me what is bothering you? Please.'

'I'm sorry I find it difficult to be intimate with you,' Severus blurted out. 'It feels as if I'm depriving you from something that you really desire.'

Lily squeezed into his hand in an attempt to reassure him. 'Just because I would like to have sex doesn't mean that we have to,' she said softly. 'I'm perfectly okay with waiting, but what does concern me is that I have the feeling there is more going on than you thinking you'll hurt me.'

" _Should we go check on them?"_ said Alice. _"I don't like it when Severus gets all introverted."_

" _Just leave them for a moment,_ said Remus in response. _"I'm sure there's more going on than meets the eye."_

" _As long as he's not having a bad trip,'_ said Frank with obvious concern. _"That would be a horrible way to experience weed for the first time."_

Maybe Frank was right and it was a bad trip. From the very dark depths of himself a very old feeling had started to raise up. A feeling he thought he had gotten rid off a long time ago.

'Are you getting a panic attack, Sev?' Lily asked as she took his face in both her hands. 'If you are just say so.'

'I'm not sure,' said Severus with a near inaudible voice.

'Is this still about you being afraid to be intimate with me?' Lily asked.

'Yes,' Severus confessed. On the inside he could feel sadness welling up, but neither tears nor sound came out of him.

Lily took a good look into his eyes, as if she was contemplating what to ask next. 'Is this about something that your father has done?' she asked carefully.

'Yes,' Severus said with a voice raw from emotion, and he could pinpoint the exact moment in which he saw Lily's heart shatter into pieces.

'Did he ever do—'

'—no,' Severus interrupted. 'Not me. Mum.'

Lily clasped her hands in front of her mouth, and tears started to stream down her face.

With a swift motion of his arms, Severus pulled Lily close against his chest and buried his face in her hair. 'I'll always protect you,' he whispered. 'I promise.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N It's only known that Stubby Boardman retired in 1980 after being hit by a turnip on stage. It's safe to assume the band already existed in 1976.
> 
> A/N Songs mentioned: Bob Seger – Turn The Page (1973). Metallica did an excellent rendition of it for the tv series Sons of Anarchy.
> 
> Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze (1967). (Yes I am thoroughly convinced Hendrix was a wizard.)
> 
> Lynyrd Skynyrd – Simple Man (1973). The band Shinedown did a great rendition of this song. (Also difficult as fuck to sing.)


	115. Mead & Weed III

Severus had no idea how long they had been sitting on the dock, all trapped into each other arms, but by the soft snoring against he chest he could tell Lily had fallen asleep.

'Psst!' Frank's voice hissed from the other side of the dock. 'Can I come and check on you two?'

'That's fine,' said Severus lazily, only just realizing how exhausted he actually was.

On the tips of his toes, Frank walked all the way up to Lily and Severus and sat down right in front of them. 'Is she alright?' he whispered.

'I think so,' said Severus as he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

'Please don't tell me you got a bad trip out of this?' Frank asked with a hint of shame. 'That is the last thing I want you to experience.'

'I'm not sure if it was,' said Severus, 'but you were definitely right about it enhancing everything you feel.'

'Are you still feeling it?' asked Frank. 'Maybe it's because I'm more used to it but I'm not longer feeling high.'

Severus shook his head. 'Me neither, but I can still feel the mead swaying through me. I'm convinced alcohol is just Truth Serum with a nasty side effect.'

'Is everything alright between you and Lily?' asked Frank.

'We're perfectly fine,' said Severus with a smile. 'I think we've come to a closer understanding about certain things.'

'Hi Frank,' said Lily softly as she opened up one eye. 'Did I fall asleep?'

'Would you like me to take you up back to the castle?' Severus asked.

'No I'm good,' said Lily as she untangled herself from Severus's embrace and stretched herself out. 'Is everyone else still here?'

'They are,' said Frank. 'I think Evan and Emma are still snogging it up and the rest is lying flat on their backs chatting away.'

'Want to go back and join them, Sev?' asked Lily.

'How about we ask them to come here and lie on their backs?' said Severus. 'The stars have started to come out.'

'I'll go get them,' said Frank. 'I'll be right back.'

As Frank disappeared behind the curtain of ivy, Severus turned to Lily. 'I don't think I have ever seen you cry like that before,' he said, and checked to see if her eyes were still red.

It was as if the memory of Severus's dark confession came flooding back to Lily, and she looked down at her hands. 'Sev, if I had known—'

'—and you didn't,' Severus cut her off. 'I made the choice not to tell you that my father has done so much more to my mother than beat her up, and now I realise that I should have.'

'It's just—just why exactly did you choose not to tell me?' asked Lily. 'If I had known I would've had such a better understanding of it all.'

'Because I didn't want you to think that I'm broken,' said Severus. 'It's just another burden that I didn't want to give to you.'

'Hello Severus,' said Remus happily with his tail wagging behind him. Clearly, he was still in a bit of a drunk state. 'And Lily,' he said as he nudged her in the shoulder with his enormous wolf head. 'It's beautiful out here, isn't it?'

'Is it weird if I have a strong urge to pet you?' said Lily, already scratching Remus behind his ear.

'I'm not complaining,' said Remus, and looked up at Severus as if he wanted some sort of approval for his girlfriend's display of affection.

'You really do make a cute puppy, Remus,' said Severus as he started scratching him behind his other ear. 'If you were to stay a puppy forever I would adopt you without a doubt.'

'Very funny, Severus,' said Remus with a frown, but was unable to hide the fact that he did enjoy being petted.

'Woah it is beautiful out here tonight,' said Evan, dragging Emma by the hand with him.

'Look at these pretty lights all floating over the lake,' said Alice as she pointed into the distance. 'Anyone know what they are?'

'Sev conjured them,' said Lily proudly. 'The giant squid has been playing around chasing them.'

'Think you could conjure more of those, Severus?' asked Potter. 'Would be fun if we jumped into the water for a midnight swim.'

'I think that might attract too much attention from the castle,' said Severus, 'not to mention we'll all get soaking wet and risk getting sick.'

'Don't be such a killjoy, Severus,' said Regulus, already standing shirtless at the end of the dock. 'Move along, I'm jumping in!'

Regulus broke into a run, and with a loud splatter he dive-bombed straight into the lake. 'Damn that's cold!' he sputtered. 'Seriously Severus, you should conjure some more of those lights so I can see where I'm floating.'

Severus wasn't feeling it, but not wanting to lose Regulus out of sight in the pitch-blackness of the lake, he still conjured a few more lights to float over the surface.

'I'm coming in little brother!' said Sirius enthusiastically, and with a similar jump he fell straight into the lake, causing the lights to scatter around.

'I'm warning you!' Severus called out. 'There are a lot of merpeople in here who will not appreciate what you're doing.'

'Oh come on Severus,' said Remus with a whack of his tail. 'The night is almost over already. We might as well make the best of it.'

Remus jumped in with all four legs stretched out, and peddled awkwardly up to where Sirius and Regulus were swimming.

It didn't take long before the rest of the group had taken off shirts and shoes and jumped into the lake. 'Come on, Lily,' Alice called out. 'It's not so cold anymore after a minute or two.'

'Are you sure you don't want to join, Sev?' asked Lily as she started taking off her shoes. 'Or do you think I'm being a reckless Gryffindor?'

'Yes I do,' said Severus stiffly, and crossed his arms as if to say that he definitely wasn't going to jump into the water.

'I'm not sure which question you just answered, Sev,' said Lily, 'but I am definitely going in.'

'Severus,' said Frank as he was tossing a light between both hands, 'why are you so afraid of being caught by a bunch of teachers?'

'It's not that Frank,' said Severus with a sigh, 'it's—'

'Oh no,' said Lily as she smacked herself against her forehead. 'I'm so sorry. I entirely forgot.'

'it's fine,' said Severus not all too convincingly. 'If you want to jump in you should just go.'

'What's going on Severus?' asked Evan. 'If you join in we could play a game of water polo since there's twelve of us.'

Severus's mood started to grow more sourly with each remark. 'I just really don't feel like jumping into the water, okay?' he snapped back.

'Sev,' said Lily softly. 'How about you just be honest with them? There's really no shame in not knowing how to swim.'

'I just hate to admit it,' said Severus with a snarl, 'and yes if you must know I really would like to join.'

'Want me to tell them?' Lily suggested. 'They're your friends, Sev. I'm positive they won't laugh.'

After having taught potions for nearly two decades, being laughed at really was the least of his concerns. 'I just don't want to disappoint anyone,' he said eventually.

Lily planted a kiss on his cheek, and despite his foul mood Severus still felt his spirit rise a little. 'Sorry to disappoint you all,' said Lily towards the rest of the group, 'but Sev can't swim.'

'What?' Evan blurted out in disbelief. 'Mate you should've just told us. I would've stayed on the dock.'

'I really don't mind,' said Severus, though the betrayal that it did was prominent in his voice. 'You can play water polo without me just fine.'

'I got a much better idea,' said Frank, 'at least if you're up to it Severus.'

'And what would that be?' asked Severus, and in the back of his mind he already feared what was going to follow.

'We'll teach you how to swim!' said Frank with a new found enthusiasm.

'I'm not so sure about that,' said Severus. 'What if I sink like a rock and drown?'

'Then I'll shove some gillyweed down your throat,' said Frank. 'But honestly, Severus, if you start to sink there are eleven people ready to bring you back up.'

'And where exactly are you keeping your gillyweed?' asked Severus.

'You really don't want to know mate,' said Frank laughingly. 'Look, I get it if you really don't want to do it, but you got to learn somehow.'

'Frank is right, Sev,' said Lily. 'This is a great moment to start if you're up to it.'

'I don't know if I am,'said Severus, and was painfully reminded when he had drowned himself to come back to life.

'Maybe there's something that I could do to motivate you,' said Lily as she bit her lip.

'What would that—' but Severus was cut off midsentence as Lily took of her shirt, revealing a lace white bra.

'I will jump in,' she said, amused by Severus's sudden distracted look, 'and when you jump in I will catch you.'

'Wooo Evans!' said Potter far too excited for Severus's liking.

'I'm not the only one out here in my bra you dunderhead,' Lily snapped at Potter. 'Be careful now, I'm coming in.'

Lily stood up and jumped head first from the dock, causing water to splatter all over Severus's clothes. 'I promise I'll catch you,' she said as she looked up at him.

'Fine,' said Severus as he took of his shoes. 'Just know that if I hate it, I'll be making my way back to the boathouse right away.'

As Severus took off his shirt, Frank had joined Lily by her side. 'I'll drag you straight up to the surface if you sink,' said Frank.

Severus hated to admit it, but the idea of big strong Frank to drag him up felt a little more reassuring than Lily trying to catch him.

Carefully Severus lowered himself from the dock, feeling chills being sent down his spine the moment his toes touched the water. Drawing a deep breath, he took the plunge and felt the cold water surround him completely.

Two pairs of arms dragged him straight up to the surface, allowing him to breathe.

'That wasn't so bad, was it?' asked Frank as he slung one of Severus's arms over his shoulder. 'Now, the first step in learning how to swim, is knowing how to float.'

It didn't take long for Severus to get used to the cold water, and felt the tension that had build up in his muscles relax a little.

'Just let your legs float behind you,' said Frank. 'Once you got that down you can turn on your back.'

It felt as if he did get the hang of it after a while, and soon Frank had released him and joined the rest of the group.

'Floating on my back isn't so bad,' said Severus, feeling quite proud that he had gotten the hang of it so quickly.

'You are doing great, Sev,'said Lily proudly as she swam around him.

'Hold on,' said Severus as a sudden thought occurred to him. 'Did you cast a Floating Charm on me?'

'Maybe I did,' said Lily innocently, 'maybe I didn't.'

'You little twat,' said Severus as he flicked some water in her face, 'making me believe that I'm doing all this by myself.'

'It did it non-verbally if it makes you feel any better,' said Lily proudly. 'And besides, now you can practice some strokes with your arms without the fear of drowning.'

It did feel good to be floating on his back. The rest of the group had taken a hold of some of the lights and had started tossing them to each other in a game of catch. Even Remus, who couldn't really use his paws, tried to balance the lights on his snout to bounce them around.

'Guys,' Mary called out eventually, 'I think I see the sun starting to come up.'

'Nooo,' Sirius whined. 'I don't want this night to end.'

'We got one more full moon shortly before the exams,' said Remus as he started paddling his way back to the ivy. 'We could always come back here then.'

'As if we don't have exams to study for?' said Severus, and felt Lily grab him by the shoulder to drag him back to the boathouse.

'The only one who doesn't seem to be studying for anything is you Sev,' Lily pointed out. 'Maybe next time you can try swimming without the Floating Charm.'

'I'll definitely give it a try,' said Severus, and had to admit to himself that he really did enjoy being in the water.

Once everyone had made their way back to the boathouse, Potter had covered Remus up underneath his invisibility cloak, and many warming charms had been used to dry up clothes.

'Is there anyone going to class this morning?' asked Regulus, 'because I really don't feel like going.'

'Well, I'm going to crawl into bed and skip class for the rest of the day,' said Potter.

'We've gotten so many detentions over the past years Filch is starting to grow fond of us,' said Sirius. 'Wouldn't want to miss out on helping that old bastard again.'

'I'm not going to class either,' said Severus to Lily. 'But if you want you can stay with me in the lab.'

'Are you going to put up a bed again?' asked Lily with a hopeful shimmer in her eye, 'because if you are, I will gladly join you.'

It was as if everyone came to the realization just how exhausted they were the moment they made their way back through the portrait's tunnel. Peter took the lead to make sure no one was being seen, and soon the whole group scattered as they made their way back to their own common rooms.

'Severus,' said Evan as they walked their way down the dungeons, 'are you staying in the dormitory tonight?'

'Lily and I are staying in our own private place,' said Severus, knowing exactly why Evan bothered to ask. 'Don't forget to use a silencing charm.'

Evan and Emma made their way to the Slytherin common room as Severus and Lily made their way to the lab.

Quickly, Severus conjured the same bed he had slept in all those months before. 'Should be big enough for the both of us,' he said.

Lily was looking at the bed with approval and took of her shirt, revealing the same bra Severus had seen earlier.

'Do you like it?' asked Lily with a smile as she caught his staring again.

'Yes,' Severus mumbled. Quickly he stripped down to his boxer shorts and rolled into bed. He had expected Lily to toss on a clean shirt, but instead she took off her jeans, and to his surprise, also her bra.

'You're acting like you've never seen a pair of tits before, Sev,' said Lily as she approached the bed.

'In pictures, yes,' he said, and quickly he shifted his eyes up to her face when he realised he was still staring at her chest.

Lily tossed the blanket aside and joined him in bed. 'Do you like them?' she said as she wiggled them around in her hands.

'I think you have a magnificent pair of perky tits, miss Evans,' said Severus. 'Quite bold of you to undress yourself like that.'

'Well I did promise you could see me naked,' said Lily with a grin.

Severus supported his head with his hand and took a good look at her. 'But you're not entirely naked,' he pointed out.

'If I took off my nickers I'll probably end up touching myself,' said Lily.

'Why do I have the feeling you're still slightly drunk?' Severus asked, unable to erase the thought of Lily pleasing herself out of his mind.

'Just a little bit,' said Lily, and took a hold of his arm to use as a pillow.

'What is it that you want from me?' asked Severus, not entirely oblivious to the fact that she was obviously initiating something.

'I just want you to touch me,' said Lily, and with her other hand she pulled his hand on top of her belly. 'Nothing more, nothing less.'

'Do you honestly like it that much when I do this?' asked Severus as he started to make circles on her stomach with his fingers.

'I do,' said Lily, and closed her eyes to give in to the feeling. 'And the reason I do is because I trust you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I know it's actually supposed to be tragic, but when Severus finds Lily's letter in Sirius's childhood bedroom, I can't help but snicker at the fact that he's also surrounded by posters of motorcycles and scantily clad Muggle girls.


	116. The Unicorns of the Forbidden Forest

'This is outrageous,' said professor McGonagall. 'Twelve students, _twelve students out of bed_ _for the sake of having a midnight swim, and skipping class the very next day.'_

The entire Young Order had been summoned to McGonagall's office, along with professor Slughorn and professor Sprout. Professor McGonagall had turned into a state of such fury that even her neatly tied bun had turned lopsided. 'Please explain yourselves, _all of you.'_

The whole group was looking at each other with fear in their eyes. 'Professor,' said Severus as carefully as he could, 'how exactly _did_ you find out we were out there last Thursday?'

'Do you honestly believe I can't tell the difference between a firefly and a simple Lumos spell, mister Snape?' she said sharply.

Severus was at loss for words. 'Sorry about that,' he mumbled.

'Sorry about that?' McGonagall mimicked as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. 'Don't you realise how serious this is?'

'In his defense, professor,' said Remus with a look as if he expected to be whacked with a peddle, 'it was a full moon last night.'

'And why haven't you gone to the Shrieking Shack then, mister Lupin?' McGonagall snapped. 'We have assigned this place specifically for you to transform so other students would not be able to find out about your condition, and this is how you repay us…by going for a swim in the lake where _everyone_ could have seen you!'

'Now now, calm down Minerva,' said Slughorn, looking a little frightened himself by her outburst. 'Surely they must have had a good reason for all of this.'

'No we didn't,' said Frank stiffly, unable to take his eyes off an equally angered looking professor Sprout. 'We just wanted to go to a place that seemed safe enough. I guess we were wrong.'

'Wrong indeed,' said McGonagall as she shook her head. 'I'm giving you all an ultimatum. Either I am going to deduct fifty points of each other your houses, or you will be serving detention every weekend starting from this day.'

'Fifty points does sound manageable,' said Sirius in an attempt to sound reasonable.

'Fifty points _each,_ mister Black,' said McGonagall, causing Sirius to turn white in the face.

In a flash, a heavy discussion broke out from the group.

'But…but what about quidditch?' said Potter with fear in his eyes.

'What about our exams you mean?' Peter squeaked. 'I really can't miss out on my weekend study sessions!'

' _Our meetings_ ,' said Frank with his hands in his hair. 'I've had so much planned for our meetings…'

'Why don't we just have our points deducted and be done with it?' Severus suggested. 'Who cares about winning the bloody house cup.'

Severus figured he must have said something terrible, as the whole group turned to him with a look of utter shock.

'Severus, you do realise that the whole of Slytherin house will murder us if they find out?' said Evan.

'I didn't score all those points for Hufflepuff during quidditch only to have it taken away again either,' said Frank. 'My team will eat me alive…'

'If we serve detention no one would have to find out what we did,' said Mary. 'honestly, serving detention sounds like the better part of the deal.'

'Detention it is then,' McGonagall stated before the discussion could continue any further. 'Anything to add, Horace? Pomona?'

'Not really,' said Slughorn, 'but I did expect better from you, Severus. Ever since you started your fifth year, you've been behaving remarkably rebellious.'

'I figured I only get to be young once,' said Severus boldly. 'I made a choice to enjoy it while it lasts.'

Slughorn rolled with his eyes and decided not to comment any further. 'Have it your way, Severus. Just don't flunk your exams, and that accounts for all of you.'

'I don't have anything to add either,' said professor Sprout. 'Just note that we will have to inform your parents about this.'

'Alright folks,' said Frank in a tone of desperation, 'just know that I don't want any flowers for my funeral.'

'I think mum especially is going to be pissed, Sev,' said Lily. 'We're not going to hear the end of it by the time we come home.'

'Not much we can do about it now,' said Severus. 'What is it that we need to do this afternoon, professor McGonagall?'

'Hagrid has something to do for all of you in the Forbidden Forest,' said McGonagall. 'I'll find you something else to do for the remaining weekends later. Have a good day.'

With courteous nods, the Young Order quickly made its way out of McGonagall's office, and headed straight to the grounds.

' _our meetings,'_ Frank whined again once he closed the door behind him. 'There was so much I still wanted to do with all of you.'

'I really can't afford to miss out on my study sessions,' said Peter, and looked as if he was on the brink of tears. 'I'm already failing so many of my classes.'

'Which classes exactly are you failing?' asked Severus. 'From my own observations in class you seem to be doing just fine.'

'Lets see,' said Peter shamefully, 'I can never remember anything from History of Magic, and then I find Transfiguration really hard, and potions. Definitely potions.'

Severus could see why Peter had trouble with History of Magic and Transfiguration. But potions? If Peter had been able to bring back the Dark Lord with the use of a cauldron, surely he should be able to brew simpler things.

'Remus,' said Severus, 'you're good with history aren't you?'

'Well, yeah,' said Remus. 'Anything you need to know?'

'I suggest you go and help Peter to study for his History of Magic exam,' said Severus. 'And Potter, why don't you help him out with Transfiguration?'

'Didn't know he was having trouble with it,' said Potter. 'But sure Peter, I can help you out.'

'Thanks,' said Peter softly. 'I really appreciate that.'

'I can help you out with potions,' said Severus. 'Anyone else having trouble with it?'

'I do,' said Emma. 'Are you sure you want to dedicate your own study time to help us though?'

'I'll probably sound like an arrogant twat saying this,' said Severus with a grin, 'but I really don't need my study time as much as the rest of you do.'

'Well thank you, professor Snape,' said Emma jokingly, causing Severus to flinch.

'Please don't call me that,' Severus gritted through his teeth.

'Any idea what Hagrid needs our help with?' asked Mary. 'The fact that we need to go into the Forbidden Forest doesn't sit well with me.'

'Knowing Hagrid, there are probably a bunch of creatures that we need to look after,' said Lily. 'Whether they are Hagrid's idea of harmless or actually harmless remains a question.'

Fortunately, once they reached the grounds, the sky was a clear blue and the sun was shining, making working outside for the day a little less of a burden.

'Would you look at that!' said Hagrid happily as he saw the group approach. 'Biggest group I ever had the pleasure of takin' into the forbidden forest.'

'And what exactly are we going to do in the forest?' asked Severus. 'Nothing too dangerous I hope.'

'Where is your sense of adventure, Sev?' said Lily as she nudged him in the ribs. 'Anything dangerous we're looking for, Hagrid?'

'Nah, nothin' special really,' said Hagrid. 'Some of the unicorns got foals not too long ago. It's our job to find 'em and count 'em, collect some 'o the hairs if you find any.'

'How is this even remotely detention?' said Regulus, already bouncing on his feet in eagerness. 'Can we approach them if we see them?'

'Hate to break it to ya,' said Hagrid as he stuffed his pink umbrella inside his pocket, 'but unicorns prefer a woman's touch only. If yer lucky the foals might let ye, but only if mummy allows it.'

'If this is how we're going to spend our weekends this month,' said Lily, looking equally excited, 'I wouldn't mind serving detention a few extra days.'

'I wouldn't get yer hopes up,' said Hagrid, smiling at how excited everyone looked, 'as I'm pretty sure professor McGonagall will give ye other things to do. Let's get goin' shall we?'

Severus took a hold of Lily's hand once they followed Hagrid into the forest. 'You're not seriously scared, are you?' she asked.

'I'm fine,' said Severus, 'in fact I kind of like the idea of seeing unicorns, and if we're sneaky, we could take some of those hairs for ourselves.'

'Planning on brewing a potion?' asked Lily.

'I got some ideas yes,' said Severus, and in his mind he had already started thinking about creating that sunblock Evan had mentioned to him, and remembered that the hairs were often used in beautification potions. This trip into the forest was a great way to collect some hairs without having to pay full bags of galleons for it.

'Care to share?' asked Lily curiously.

'Not until I'm certain what I'm going to do with it,' said Severus, 'It's a—'

'—we're in luck!' Hagrid interrupted. 'If y'all look carefully through those trees you can see a mum with her foal.'

In the distance from where Hagrid was point at was indeed a bright white unicorn, accompanied by a nursing, pure golden foal.

'That is so beautiful,' Mary squealed, and started to get teary eyed at the mere sight of it. 'Can we get any closer?'

'Better not,' said Hagrid, 'since this one's nursing, but if we find any more we might be in better luck.'

It didn't take long for them to find more unicorns out in the forest, and counted at least two-dozen golden foals, and some older silver coloured ones among them.

Regulus had his wish granted when a foal approached him to be petted, and the girls were happily cuddling it up with some of the older unicorns.

'I think I see some stray hairs,' Severus whispered to Lily. 'I'm going to go grab some before Hagrid finds out.'

Quickly Severus dashed off into the forest when he was certain everyone was distracted enough, and started plucking the gold, silver and white hairs from the twigs he had spotted the hairs on.

In the distance however, some odd movement through the trees caught his eye. Severus turned around to make sure no one else had seen what he had seen, and pulled out his wand.

'Who's out there?' he asked to no-one in particular. 'Show yourself.'

Maybe it had only been a figment of his imagination, but he still raised his occlumency shield up just in case.

'I know there's someone out here,' said Severus again. 'Just come on out and state your purpose.'

'I don't think that's any of your business, mister Snape,' said Malfoy slickly from behind him, and within a flash Severus had his wand held against Malfoy's throat.

'Why are you here?' Severus asked sharply. 'Speak up!'

Malfoy swallowed hard as Severus held his wand up against his throat, and Severus knew he had him overpowered. 'I know you're not alone,' he said darkly. 'Why are you here?'

Malfoy raised his hands up in the air and smiled. 'You got me,' he said, 'but not to worry, it's not your friends we are after. It's the unicorns.'

'Slay a unicorn and you will be cursed for the rest of your life,' said Severus. 'You're better off leaving them alone.'

'How touching to see you concerned for my wellbeing,' said Malfoy as he lowered his hands, 'but we're not killing them. We're merely looking for their hairs, like the ones you just shoved into your pocket…and their horns.'

Severus was unsure whether hurting unicorns to gain their horns would also result into being cursed, and so decided to keep his mouth shut about it. 'I suggest you leave before Dumbledore gets here,' he stated.

'What that a threat?' said Malfoy coldly.

'I have my own ways of getting Dumbledore here before you are even able to apparate,' said Severus. 'Leave. Now.'

'Sev!' Lily called out in the distance. 'Sev where are you?'

'How touching,' said Malfoy laughingly, 'she even has a pet name for you. Tell me, what is it like to fuck a mud—'

Severus quickly non-verbally casted the Langlock spell on Malfoy, causing his tongue to be stuck to the roof of his mouth. 'Don't ever…insult her…in front…of me,' said Severus angrily as he jammed his wand between Malfoy's ribs. 'Leave.'

From the rustling sound of the leaves, Severus could tell Lily was getting closer.

'I'll be right there!' Severus called out, and immediately lowered his voice again. 'Say hello to your master for me, will you?'

Malfoy narrowed his eyes as he attempted to speak, but no sound came out of his mouth. With his wand held against Malfoy's back, he sent him off back into the woods, and watch him disappear behind a few trees.

Malfoy had disappeared just in time, because Lily just came bouncing from behind a tree on the opposite side. 'Did you see something?' she asked.

'I thought I did,' said Severus, and put his wand back in his pocket. 'Probably just a few bowtruckles. Managed to find a few hairs though.'

'Good,' said Lily as she grabbed Severus by the hand. 'You should really come and see this. Those foals seemed to have taken a liking in Regulus.'

Before Lily was able to pull him back towards the group, Severus looked around one more time to make sure Malfoy was truly gone.

There, partly obscured in the shadow of a particularly large wiggentree, the frame of a thin man dressed in black robes was looking him straight in the eye.

The Dark Lord was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I frequently got questions related to this, so I figured I'd stuff it into an Author's Note. Canonically, Severus has a very different attitude towards women than he does towards men. We see this reflected when he tells Tonks she's better off without Remus, or when he avoids attacking McGonagall during the final battle at all costs, or simply the fact that he's always polite towards Molly, just to name a few examples. When it comes to men however, you have Tobias who abused him. Dumbledore and Voldemort who used him, the Marauders and others who bullied him etc.
> 
> I suppose he's protective of women (and sometimes too overly protective), because of what happened during his childhood. This is probably the reason why he said "I won't let you" during that memory in the Prince's Tale. It's his own shitty way of saying he doesn't want her to get hurt.
> 
> A/N The wiggentree is a magical rowan where Bowtruckles live, and the tree protects you against dark creatures when touched.


	117. Fire in the Forbidden Forest

'Lily,' Severus whispered as he let go of her hand. 'I need you to go back to the group, and get out of the forest. Now.'

Lily shot Severus a confused look. 'But I just thought you said there wasn't anything out there?'

'That's what I thought as well,' said Severus, and so far had managed to keep the Dark Lord captured in the corner of his eye. 'Go. Hurry.'

'I'm not leaving,' Lily snapped. 'I'm not leaving until you tell me what's out there.'

'For Merlin's sake Lily could you please listen to me,' Severus snapped back. 'Go back to the group and get them out of the forest. Take the unicorns with you if you can.'

Lily wouldn't budge, but with her eyes she traced where Severus was looking at. 'Who's out there?' she whispered.

'I said go back,' Severus said sharply as he pushed her to the group's general direction. 'It isn't safe here.'

'What the hell, Sev!' Lily yelled as she pushed him back, and shot him a murderous glare. 'What did you need to do that for?'

'There are Death Eaters out here Lily,' said Severus, now pleading with her. 'Just hurry and go. _Please.'_

Severus reached out for her, but Lily smacked his hand aside. With a quick swish of her wand she mumbled "Periculum", shooting red sparks up in the air.

Knowing that he wasn't going to win this argument, Severus quickly lashed out to take Lily's wand, turned his back on her as he took a hold of her wrists, and shielded her with his body from where the Dark Lord was standing.

'What a brave girl,' said the Dark Lord's cold voice from the shadow of the Wiggentree. 'Stupid, but brave.'

'Give me my wand back, Severus!' said Lily as she tried to pull free from his grip. 'Who the hell is out there?'

'Lily it's the Dark Lord,' Severus gritted through his teeth. 'Now could you please, _please listen to me.'_

Lily stopped trying to break free the moment Severus mentioned the Dark Lord, and he could feel her freeze up under his tight grip. 'Are you sure it's him?' she whimpered.

'Positive,' said Seversu, almost inaudibly. 'Now please do as I say, and put your occulumency shield up.'

From the shadows, the Dark Lord stepped forward, revealing the face of a man who no longer reassembled his young handsome self. 'You must be Severus Snape,' he said, ignoring the quarrel that had just happened right in front of him. 'I have heard many great things about you.'

'Not that difficult when your name has been spread all over the newspapers,' said Severus as calmly as he could. 'What brings you to the forest?'

'Just a bit of this, and a bit of that,' the Dark Lord said as he looked at his fingernails. 'Wondering why someone who had his mind so dead-set on joining my cause has suddenly decided to turn down everything I have offered him.'

'I do not owe you an explanation,' said Severus bitterly.

'I am sure the explanation is currently hiding behind your back, Severus,' said the Dark Lord with a twisted smile. 'I suppose I must apologize for Lucius's behaviour earlier. She truly is a pretty little thing.'

Severus could feel Lily's hands starting to shake when being addressed to as a little thing. 'I'd rather be called a mudblood!' she cried out.

'Ohh, so full of fire this one,' said the Dark Lord with a shrill laugh. 'Why don't you let go of her, Severus, so I can see what kind of magic she is carved from.'

'Sev, look up,' said Lily with a lump in her throat. 'We're not alone.'

With a quick glance up at the dense canopies, Severus saw that many Death Eaters were hiding high up in the trees, ready to strike when necessary.

A very faint rusting in the distance betrayed that the Young Order had found its way where Lily had fired the warning sign, and Severus released the tight grip he had on Lily's wrists, but did not yet let go.

'Looks like your friends are here,' said the Dark Lord as he looked over Severus's shoulder. 'What is it you wish to do Severus? Flee like a Muggle, or fight like a man?'

A strong Stunning spell shot past Severus's ear, and it was the cue to release Lily from his grip and hand her back her wand. 'DEATH EATERS ARE HERE!' he yelled into the woods. 'THEY'RE HIDING IN THE TREES!'

Hagrid was the first to come barging through the trees in a fit of rage Severus never had seen on him before. His giant blood protecting him from tipping over as the first spells were shot at him from the treetops, and held his pink umbrella up as he casted a shield charm.

Lily had already turned around and started to shoot the Incarcerous spell up at the treetops in the hope of shooting any of the Death Eaters down. Severus was torn between running after her to protect her, but could not afford to take his eyes off the Dark Lord, who up to know had not even moved a muscle.

It was Frank who came jumping from behind the trees at top speed, shooting more stunning spells straight passed Severus, which the Dark Lord deflected with a flick of his wand as if he was waving off a particularly annoying fly.

'REGULUS, EVAN,' yelled Severus as he tried to deflect as many spells that were shot at him as he could, 'TRY TO GATHER THE UNICORNS AND BRING THEM TO SCHOOL!'

Severus was able to stun a Death Eater whom he recognized as Amycus Carrow just before he managed to get a hold of Regulus. 'RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!' he yelled as he saw the two boys disappear behind the trees.

An ear-deafening scream started to rattle through Severus's bones. Bellatrix Black had gotten a hold of Alice, and was performing what seemed to be the Cruciatus Curse. It was Potter who casted a powerful Confringo, causing Bellatrix to be blasted away and smack into a tree.

'WHERE DID HE GO?' yelled Frank in outrage. 'HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE BY THAT WIGGENTREE!'

'TRY TO CAPTURE AS MANY AS YOU CAN!' yelled Sirius as he held on to a tied up Death Eater. 'The more we can surrender over to Dumbledore, the better!'

Quickly Severus casted a Supersensory Charm on himself, making it easier to count if everyone from the Young Order was still standing while simultaneously looking for the Dark Lord.

If Regulus and Evan had been quick enough they should be safe, but there was no sight of either Mary or Peter, making his heart sink to his knees.

The answer to where they were was quickly answered, as Severus heard Mary, or rather saw Mary, run around the edges of the battlefield in a large circle with her wand held behind her, leaving a trail of fire behind them.

'SMOKE THEM OUT PETER!' she cried, and on the very opposite side Peter was doing the exact same thing.

With the use of the Aguamenti spell Severus made sure the dry leaves on the ground started to form a thick smokescreen that quickly started to rise in the air. 'THEY'RE STARTING TO APPARATE!' he yelled as he heard the familiar crackling sound.

Alice was still lying unconscious on the ground, so Severus ran up to her and pulled her onto his shoulders in the same fashion Frank had done to him months ago.

The circle of fire was starting to close them in. Severus held his wand out, yelled "Partis Temporus", and created a gap in between the flames. 'WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. NOW!'

Lily had managed to get a hold of a Death Eater, and quickly passed him to Hagrid so he could drag him onto the grounds where he would no longer be able to flee.

With Hagrid taking the lead with the Death Eater trapped in his arms, the whole group ran as fast as they could towards the grounds, leaving behind a burning forest. Once they reached Hagrid's hut they all come to a halt, and started coughing up the thick smoke they had started to inhale.

'Alice!' Frank cried out in panic. 'Is she alright?'

As carefully as he could, Severus lowered Alice off his shoulders and passed her on to Frank's outstretched arms. 'She's breathing,' he reassured him. 'Go and take her to the hospital wing. We've got to keep an eye on the Death Eater.'

As a teary eyed Frank left with Alice in his arms, most of the group had sank down to their knees from exhaustion.

Severus skimmed the whole group to make sure everyone was present, and in the distance he could see a whole heard of unicorns standing in the open field, staring intensely at their burning forest.

'I see Dumbledore comin' in the distance,' said Hagrid as he held down the captured Death Eater with his knee, 'and some o' the other teachers I think.'

Severus saw that Lily was talking to Remus, and that was good enough for him to know that she was doing okay. 'Any idea who this is, Hagrid?' asked Severus as he looked down at the Death Eater in disgust.

'Not a clue,' said Hagrid, pressing a little harder into the man's back with his knee, 'but hopefully this'll be a one way ticket to Azkaban for 'em.'

Severus crouched down to take a good look at the man's face. It took a while before he was able to connect the face to a memory from the past. And then, it hit him who he was staring at.

Dumbledore had arrived with the entire Hogswarts staff. The teachers rushed they way up the forest to extinguish the fire while professor Kettleburn hurried his way towards the herd of unicorns.

'Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore,' said Severus as he stood up, and stopped her from walking towards the forest. 'Evan Rosier and Regulus Black are with the unicorns out there.'

'I'm glad to hear that,' said McGonagall with a look of shock etched upon her face. 'Is everyone else safe?'

'Everyone's here,' Severus reassured her. 'I double checked. Do you see that man Hagrid's holding down?'

McGonagall looked over Severus's shoulder and nodded that she saw him. 'Do you know him, mister Snape?'

'That man is Evan's father,' said Severus. 'I suggest we don't tell Evan for just a little while longer.'

Dumbledore nodded in understanding and made his way towards Hagrid. 'Could you please carry this man to professor McGonagall's office, Hagrid? I wish to interrogate him later on.'

'Will do, headmaster,' said Hagrid as she stood up, and raised Rosier senior onto his shoulders.

Hagrid had left just in time, because professor Kettleburn had sent Evan and Regulus to rejoin the group.

'I want each and every one of you to go to the hospital wing so madam Pomfrey can take care of you,' said Dumbledore. 'I will meet you all there later.'

When the intense moment of being in combat was over, the way back to the castle was a bit of a haze. Some students were peaking through the windows to see what was going on, but it was clear that they had been ordered to remain inside while the teachers were sorting things out.

Lily had put an arm around Severus all the way back to the castle, and did not let go until they sat down inside the hospital wing. Frank must have heard them coming, as he appeared from behind a curtain.

'Alice will be okay,' he assured the group before any questions could be fired at him. 'She just woke up and is just feeling a little dizzy.'

'I suggest you all go and take showers in turns,' madam Pomfrey ordered. 'You're all covered in soot.'

'Are you sure you're alright, Sev?' asked Lily. 'You seem a bit distant.'

'I'm fine, I promise,' said Severus stiffly, but in his mind he was worried about what was going to happen to Evan now that his father had been captured. 'Let's get cleaned up before we talk, shall we?'


	118. After the Fire

The water in the drain had turned black from all the soot that Severus washed out of his hair and scrubbed off his arms. The hot shower was a welcoming distraction after everything that had gone down in the forest. For a brief moment, he had time to think, really think, without being distracted by a whole group of people.

Why exactly the Dark Lord and his followers were out in the forest was entirely unknown to him. It couldn't have been just the unicorns. Sure, the creatures were extraordinary resourceful for potion work, and drinking their blood would cause you to live a cursed life, but the latter would probably be the last thing the Dark Lord was after.

Once he was absolutely certain that he was clean from any remaining soot, Severus got out of the shower and got dressed in a pair of old robes madam Pomfrey had provided for them.

About half of the group had been able to clean up so far, and Severus noticed just how much damage the fight in the forest had caused. Remus was clutching painfully to his side, and right beside him was Peter supporting a heavily bleeding nose. No one had come out unscratched by either spells or branches.

'Has Dumbledore returned yet?' asked Severus as he rejoined the group.

'I think he's still with that man we captured,' said Evan. 'The teachers have managed to extinguish the fire though, and some stables have been conjured so the unicorns can temporarily take shelter in it.'

'Who's brilliant idea was it anyway to start a fire?' asked Sirius. 'Obscuring their vision from above like that was a really smart move.'

'I'm going to have to give credit to Peter for that,' said Mary with a smile. 'He came up to me with the idea, and that's how we started running in a large circle to form the fire.'

'Holy shit mate,' said Potter as he padded Peter firmly on the shoulder, causing more blood to gush out of his nose. 'That is some amazing tactical stuff right there.'

'tanks,' said Peter with great difficulty. 'Wot the 'ell were dey doing out dere dough?'

'I don't think anyone has a clue,' said Lily as she came out of the showers, all dressed up in scarlet robes. 'Maybe the man who has been captured will talk. Do you think Dumbledore's going to need any Truth Serum, Sev?'

'I'm quite certain professor Slughorn will have some if they need it,' said Severus, not exactly willing to share his own private supply of potions. 'Come and sit on my lap if you want.'

Lily didn't need to think twice to take Severus's offer, and sat down leaning against his chest.

One by one, the group was ordered by madam Pomfrey to have their vitals checked, starting with Peter, who was looking the worst out of everyone.

'What will this mean to the school, Sev?' Lily whispered to him. 'Surely having you-know-who coming this close to the school will change everything.'

Out of all the things that had run through his mind about why the Dark Lord and his followers were in the forbidden forest, Severus had not thought of the fact the entire school was only a stone throw away from being attacked. Lily was right. This was going to change everything.

'The Daily Prophet will undeniably have written an article about it in the morning,' said Severus. 'Probably stating the severe lack of security around Hogwarts and how it needs to change.'

'Sev,' said Lily as a bit more timidly as she leaned in closer to him, 'he was quite frightening, don't you think?'

'He is,' said Severus, although deep inside his concern for Lily's safety had been far greater than facing the Dark Lord again. 'Did you notice that he let everyone else do the dirty work for him?'

'I did,' said Lily. 'You think that is typical of him to do?'

'Typical for him,' said Severus, 'also typical for a Slytherin to take a step back and watch situations unfold before entering them.'

Frank must have overheard what Severus had said, because he turned to them with a sour look on his face. 'Well, I'm still pissed off that he just disappeared into nothing,' he said angrily. 'Glad I got to take a good look at him before he did though. Next time he isn't going to make it out so easily.'

'Never underestimate the power that the Dark Lord holds,' said Severus in all seriousness. 'You saw what he did when you attacked him. He's hard to catch even when he's standing still.'

'Excuse you, Snape?' said Potter skeptically, 'but how exactly is it that you know so much about him?'

'Remember our dear friend Malfoy who supposedly attacked us in Hogsmeade, Potter?' Severus said a little louder than he intended. 'He was Slytherin's prefect when most of us came to Hogwarts. Took me under his wing for the first three years before he graduated, and in that time I can guarantee you that I have learned a thing or two about the Dark Lord and his followers.'

'Most of us in Slytherin know about the Dark Lord,' said Evan in Severus's defense, 'or must I also remind you that a lot of Slytherin families, like my own for example, are followers of his cause?'

'I'm no stranger to it either,' said Sirius. 'I don't know if anyone noticed, but my cousin Bellatrix was out there with them. The same one who was there in Hogsmeade when we were attacked. Entire families are being torn apart by this…'

'Okay look, I'm sorry,' said Potter while raising his hands up by means of giving in. 'I didn't mean to spark a debate among us.'

A moment later, Peter came back from behind a curtain with his nose all cleaned up. 'That feels better!' he said happily as he flopped down into a seat. 'Is Dumbledore here yet?'

Peter's timing couldn't have been better, because right after the doors of the hospital wing swung open, revealing a rather worried looking Dumbledore. 'Are all the students safe, Poppy?' he asked.

'They're all in good health,' madam Pomfrey assured him. 'Alice here is dealing with a bit of shock from dealing with an Unforgivable Curse, but she is otherwise okay.'

'That is a relief,' said Dumbledore, and pulled out a chair from behind a curtain to join the group.

'Can anyone please tell me, from the very beginning, what happened out there in the forbidden forest?' asked Dumbledore calmly.

Severus and Lily looked at each other as if to argue who was going to end up retelling the whole story, and it was Lily who eventually nodded by giving in. 'I will tell you everything, headmaster,' said Lily, and broke into the story on how she went looking for Severus. How she ended up calling for help and how the Death Eaters had been hiding up in the trees.

'Mister Snape,' said Dumbledore, 'could you please tell me why you wondered away from the group?'

'Because of the unicorn's tail hairs,' said Severus, and despite knowing that Dumbledore wasn't going to prod inside his mind, he could still sense that telling a half-truth would not go entirely unnoticed. 'Hagrid made us collect them if we found any, and so I did.'

The unicorn hairs that he had stuffed in the pockets of his borrowed robes were weighing heavily in his pockets. 'If Lily hadn't found me and called for help, I don't know where I would be standing now,' he added.

'It is good to see you all safe,' said Dumbledore with a sad smile. 'For all of your information; No bodies have been found in the circle that has been burned down, nor have any of the forest creatures been harmed as far as we know. Hagrid and professor Kettleburn are looking after all of the saved unicorns, and professor Sprout is working on something that will easily revive the forest ground so they can be set free again.'

'What about the man that was captured?' asked Evan. 'Is there anything known about why the Dark Lord and his followers were out there?'

'I'm afraid that piece of information has to remain classified, mister Rosier,' said Dumbledore as he glanced over at Severus. 'This is something for the staff and the Ministry to deal with.'

Severus understood that Dumbledore would take the time to explain what he had discovered to him later, but for now, the fact that it was Evan's father who had been captured was of a bigger priority.

'Severus,' said Dumbledore suddenly, 'I'm afraid there is something that I must do even when it may be painful.'

Severus nodded in understanding. Keeping Evan in the dark about his father having been captured wouldn't be right. 'Do what must be done,' he said in answer.

'Mister Rosier,' said Dumbledore as he stood up, 'I would like you to follow me up to my office. There's something that I need you to do for me.'

With a confused look and a shrug, Evan stood up in order to follow Dumbledore.

'I suggest the rest of you all return to your dormitories and share a cup of tea,' Dumbledore added. 'You all look like you could all use it after today's event.'

Once Dumbledore and a very confused looking Evan left the hospital wing, Severus turned to Emma. 'I suggest you go follow them Emma,' said Severus. 'Evan's about to hear some bad news.'

'Alright,' said Emma. 'I already got a feeling what this is about, so I'll go after them.' And with a quick dash, Emma too had left the hospital wing.

'Care to tell what that was all about, Severus?' asked Mary. 'I got a feeling something terrible is about to happen.'

'For Evan, yes,' said Severus. 'I didn't want to mention it before because I knew that it would break him.'

'Could you perhaps tell us?' asked Regulus. 'I mean, I'd rather know beforehand what's going on before he breaks down.'

'The man we captured is his father,' said Severus bitterly. 'Needless to say, putting him in foster care with Frank's family may just become more permanent than before.'

'This is terrible,' said Mary with tears in her eyes. 'I can't even comprehend the idea…'

'How about we all take Dumbledore's advice and spend the remainder of the day up in our dormitories,' Frank suggested. 'I would like to stay here with Alice for a while, and I think more of us would perhaps just like to crawl into bed and rest.'

'I highly agree,' said Peter, 'but I prefer to go to the Room of Requirement if anyone else is up for it.'

'Want to go back to the lab, Sev?' Lily asked. 'You look like you could use a nap too.'

As Frank stayed behind with Alice, Lily and Severus split themselves up from the group who were determined to go to the Room for some afternoon chatting.

' _Mate I've got a theme song for you,'_ Severus could hear Sirius say happily in the distance. _'Ever heard of Johnny Cash's "Ring Of Fire?", 'cause man, that is what you are made off. I'm going to sing it for you later.'_

'It's good to see Peter getting some credit from his friends,' said Lily as she took Severus by the hand. 'What do you feel like doing in the lab?'

Severus shrugged. 'Maybe taking a nap isn't such a bad idea,' he said, feeling remarkably drained now that he came to think of it.

'Still,' said Lily as she entered the lab, 'I'm really curious to know why you saved up those unicorn hairs.'

'I'm not telling you,' said Severus as he locked the door behind him, 'it's a surprise.'

'Please don't tell me you're making some Beautification Potion for me,' said Lily with a frown. 'You know I don't use that kind of stuff.'

'I am aware,' said Severus with a smile, 'but not to worry, that's not what I intend to create.'

Carefully Severus untied all the unicorn hairs that had curled up into a knot inside his pocket and laid them down neatly on a shelf. 'I got so many I might as well give a couple to Hagrid,' he said.

'Wasn't that supposed to be the first intention?' said Lily as she kicked off her shoes and sat down on the bed that was still there from the day before. 'Come here, Sev,' she said as she padded the bed. 'Let's talk.'

'Talk about what?' asked Severus as he joined her on the bed. 'Because I can honestly tell you that I don't want to talk about what happened in the forest right now.'

'That's not what I'm after, 'said Lily, and a faint blush started to appear on her cheeks.

'What's causing you to blush?' said Severus teasingly, knowing very well that this was about the day before.

'The intensity in which you can gaze at me,' Lily admitted. 'You've got some very piercing dark eyes.'

'Do you want to talk about yesterday?' said Severus, 'because really all there is to it is that we spend the entire day, almost naked, in bed together.'

'You got to touch my tits though,' said Lily with a grin, and with both her hands she pushed her tits up. 'I was actually a little surprised you did it.'

'Can you do that again?' asked Severus, not even feeling remotely embarrassed anymore at the fact that he was staring at her chest.

'Two minutes back into the lab and it's already getting hot in here,' Lily teased, and rolled up the sleeves of the scarlet robes she was given.

In a flash, Severus's uplifted mood came crashing down like a cannonball, and cold sweat started to break down over his entire body.

'Something wrong, Sev?' Lily asked, sensing the sudden change in his posture.

'No,' was all he was able to whimper, and a lump so thick had started to form in his throat he was starting to have a hard time breathing.

Two dark blue circles had started to form around Lily's wrists where he had grabbed her earlier to stop her from doing anything stupid.

'No,' he whimpered again, and slouched down with his hands shoved tightly into his hair. ' _I did that to you.'_

'Sev,' said Lily as she reached out for him, and then it must have hit her what was wrong as she stopped mid-sentence. 'Sev, could you please look at me?'

But Severus wouldn't budge as he curled himself up, and waves of guilt started to wash over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (…) 'I'm trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are.' THE INTENSITY OF HIS GAZE MADE HER BLUSH. 'They don't use Dark Magic, though.' She dropped her voice. (…)  
> -The Prince's Tale, DH


	119. Regret Comes in Many Forms

'Sev could you please listen to me,' said Lily calm but firmly. She had been attempting to pull his hands out of his hair, but Severus had his fingers locked in so tightly that her attempts were in vain. 'You know, it's quite frightening when you do this?'

'I'm sorry,' Severus cried. I'm shouldn't have—I shouldn't' have—'

'—and I should have listened to you,' Lily interrupted. 'You were trying to protect me and I didn't do what you asked me to do.'

Severus drew a deep breath and attempted to look up at Lily, but his vision was entirely obscured by the tears that were swimming in his eyes. 'How does that even remotely excuse what I've done?' he said with great difficulty, feeling the tears leaking down his face as he said it.

'Can you please stop hurting yourself, Sev?' Lily said as she wiped away some tears with her thumb. 'It would do us both a lot better if we just talked about it.'

It took several more deep breaths for Severus to finally come to his senses, and released the stress in which he was tightly holding on to his hair.

'I'm not angry with you,' said Lily in an attempt to sound reassuring. 'You were trying to protect me. Remember that.'

It felt as if Severus had no more tears left to cry, and the only remaining feeling he had left in his heart was that of a harsh guilt. A guilt he had not felt when he failed to protect his mother, and all he could do was shake his head at what Lily was trying to say.

'Can I touch you, Sev?' asked Lily, and Severus could tell that she was becoming upset.

'I don't deserve you,' said Severus almost inaudibly. 'I don't.'

Lily was having none of it, and so with both her hands she grabbed Severus firmly by the shoulders and pulled him into a tight embrace. 'This is not a matter of deserving, Sev,' she said with a broken voice. 'It's my own choice whether I want to be with you or not. And I do. I really do.'

'I never meant to hurt you,' Severus whispered. 'I am so sorry.'

'And I forgive you,' said Lily as she gently ran her hand up and down in back. 'There's just one thing that you need to learn to understand, Sev.'

'What would that be?' he asked, feeling himself relax just a little under her touch.

'That you can't always be there to protect me,' said Lily, and looked him straight in the eye as she said it. 'I am very well capable of looking after myself. So please, do not put yourself in danger just because I might be.'

'It's hard,' Severus admitted. 'It's hard because I know that you aren't safe in the wizarding world.'

'I will find my way,' said Lily, and she took a hold of his hands into her own. 'and I would appreciate it if you were stand my side while I go look for it.'

Severus looked down at the dark blue circles that had formed around her wrists. 'Let me take care of that for you before I lose my mind again.'

Severus let himself slump out of the bed, and with shaking hands he started to rummage through his supplies to find his mother's healing salve. Eventually he found the round tin box he had been looking for, and brought it over to Lily.

'I'll have you do it,' said Lily as she stretched out her arms for him, 'if you want.'

With his hands still shaking slightly, he opened up the tin box and dipped his finger into the salve. With very gentle circular motions he started to trace the outlining of the bruises on his wrists, which slowly started to fade under his touch.

'Thanks,' said Lily. 'Doesn't look so bad anymore now, doesn't it?'

'It's not making me feel any better, 'said Severus with a huff, and tossed the tin box aside. 'I'll been feeling guilty about this for a while.'

Severus crawled back onto the bed, lay down, and curled up into a ball. 'Could you lay down with me for a while?' he asked. 'I don't feel like going to sleep.'

Lily laid down on her back beside him and started stroking his hair. 'Is there anything you'd like to talk about?' she asked.

'Lets talk about all of our plans for the summer,' Severus suggested. 'So far the only thing that's certain is our visit with the Weasleys and a trip to Amsterdam.'

'Well,' Lily started off with, 'we definitely have to go back to our spot by the river. We haven't been there in over a year.'

'We should,' said Severus, remembering that in his case he hadn't been there in nearly twenty years.

'And I hate to say it,' Lily added, 'but the case with your father is also still running.'

'I've been thinking about visiting him in prison,' Severus confessed. 'So far the investigation has been leading nowhere, and I got a feeling that it never will.'

Lily shot Severus a questionable look. 'If you believe that it might give you some closure, I don't see why not. Are you absolutely certain that you want to see him again though?'

'No,' said Severus, 'but how can I ever find closure if I don't face him and ask why he did what he did?'

'What I fear the most if you do go out and visit him,' said Lily, 'is that he will not have the answers for you that you want to hear.'

'I don't even know what it is that I want to hear,' said Severus grudgingly. 'All I want is for him to confess that he's an abuser and a murderer.'

'How is that supposed to bring you closure when it's something you already know?' Lily asked. 'Or is there anything that you would like to tell him?'

'Oh there are many things that I would like to say to him,' said Severus bitterly.

'If you think it'll help you heal than you can always ask dad to take you there,' said Lily. 'I'll even come with you if you want me to.'

'I'll have to think about that for a while,' said Severus, and curled up a little closer against her.

'Then you go think about that,' said Lily. 'Anything else we could do this summer?'

'I'm getting a motorbike,' said Severus. 'I already have my mind set on what I want and Erwin is going to help me get it.'

'That Triumph Bonneville by any chance?' Lily asked with a smile. 'Wouldn't you technically have to get your license too if you did?'

'Being a wizard has its advantages,' said Severus, and felt a bit rebellious at the thought of it. 'And besides, Erwin is looking forward to it almost as much as I do.'

'Well go figure,' said Lily. 'Dad used to ride motorbikes before Petunia and I were born. In fact, I think he rode them when he was still serving in the military.'

'If your parents allow it I would like to take you out for a weekend,' said Severus. 'Go camping out in Dartmoor or something.'

'I would love that!' Lily said with delight. 'If mum and dad allow it we could go when we're at the Weasleys. Ottery St. Catchpole is in Devon if I'm not mistaken.'

'We'll ask when we come home,' said Severus. 'There's one more problem we have to face when we do though.'

Lily went silent for a moment, as if she was thinking about what that problem could be. 'We're going to have to confess to mum, don't we?' she said, her uplifted mood melting away as she remembered her father's letter. 'This is going to be difficult.'

'I was hoping we would be able to convince her Hogwarts is the safest place for us to be,' said Severus. 'Problem is that after today, I'm not so sure anymore.'

'There's that,' said Lily, 'and then there's also the fact that they're going to be notified about our nightly adventures from last Thursday. I got a feeling we're going to be grounded the moment we set foot inside the house.'

'Grounded?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow. 'We're nearly grown-ups. How can we possibly still get grounded at this point in our lives?'

Now that Severus came to think of it, the reason why he found the idea of being grounded so absurd is because he hadn't had to deal with authoritative figures for nearly two decades. Moving in with the Evanses last Christmas had only been very brief before him and Lily had to go back to Hogwarts. The summer however, was going to be an entirely different story.

'I'm sure mum's will is law for as long as we live there,' said Lily. 'That's just the way it's always been.'

'This summer is going to be interesting,' said Severus as he stretched himself out. 'You think you'll be able to manage sharing a room with Petunia for that long?'

'Tuney's moving out by the end of the summer,' said Lily with a shrug. 'Spending some time with her together before she goes off to university would be quite nice actually.'

'Have you heard anything from your parents about Vernon?' asked Severus, remembering the conversation he's had with Erwin inside the ministry's bathroom.

'All I know is that they don't find him all that suitable for Tuney,' said Lily with a sigh. 'He's not, well— _bad_ to her I suppose, but he's also such a traditionalist. It just doesn't suit her at all.'

'So I noticed,' Severus snarled. 'Personally I find him to be a bit of a prick.'

'He called you a bastard at Christmas,' said Lily as she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. 'He was such an arse to you.'

'He didn't want Petunia to study art,' Severus remembered, and looked up at the family portrait Petunia had made, realising that she had, in fact, not included Vernon. 'Makes me wonder what he did when she told him she was going to do it anyway.'

'Only one way to find out,' said Lily. 'But uhm—Sev, are you feeling any better?'

Severus looked at lily's hands, and the bruises that were circled around her wrists were now nearly gone after the salve had done its magic. 'I still feel guilty,' he sulked.

With both her hands Lily took a hold of Severus's face and kissed him gently on the lips. 'Just remember, Sev, I like you just the way you are.'

…

As much as Severus wanted Lily to spend another night by his side, Evan needed him more right now. He had found Emma in the Slytherin common room, and told him that Evan had locked himself inside the dormitories, not wanting to speak with anyone.

'Evan,'said Severus loudly as he banged on the door. 'Could you please let me in?'

' _Fuck off,'_ Evan yelled from the other side. _'I just want to be alone right now.'_

Not wanting to argue with Evan on whether he could enter the place where he kept most of his belongings, he let himself in by the use of a simple Alohomora, and unlocked the door to their dormitory.

There, sitting on his bed was Evan, angrily tearing up pieces of parchment.

'What has that parchment ever done to you?' Severus asked as he sat down beside him. 'Also, you look like shit.'

'Look who's talking,' Evan snapped. 'I am just so _fucking_ done with everything.'

'Well I certainly know that feeling,' said Severus as he made himself comfortable. 'Care to share?'

'You already knew it was my dad, didn't you? But yeah, they gave him Truth Serum,' Even said bitterly as he tore up another piece of parchment. 'Wasn't allowed to ask _why_ he was out in the forest though.'

'Did you ask him anything?' asked Severus curiously.

'Mostly I just wanted to say things to him. Things that weren't very nice, to put it mildly,' said Evan, tearing up a new piece of parchment more vigorously than the previous one he had shredded to bits. 'I did ask him something though. Kind of wish I hadn't.'

'Are you willing to tell me what it is you asked?' said Severus. 'Or not. That's fine too.'

Evan made a ball out of the remaining bit of parchment he was holding and hurled it across the room. 'I asked him if he still cared about me,' he said with a voice growing thick. 'You know, to see if _at least_ he still thinks of me as his son.'

'And what did he say?' asked Severus carefully, sensing that whatever answer was going to come, it wasn't going to be good.

'Nothing,' Evan spat. 'He didn't say a damn thing at all.'


	120. The Ministry's Intervention

When Sunday arrived, Frank's request not to want any flowers for his funeral came awfully close to reality. He had received a Howler from his mother that caused so much commotion in the Great Hall, he decided to slip underneath the Gryffindor table and not show his face for a while.

'Oh come on Frank,' said Alice as she nudged him with her foot under the table. 'You're not the only one who got a Howler from home.'

'Did your bloody Howler scream like that?' Frank growled. 'I'm not going to hear the end of this when I come home. This is the end.'

'Frank, stop being such a drama queen,' said Lily as she banged with her fists on the table. 'We're all screwed.'

Severus didn't know how, but Arnica and Erwin had managed to send a letter to Hogwarts with the same speed as if it had been sent by owl. Lily's prediction came somewhat true. Arnica in particular was angered that they had gone off on rebellious adventures so shorty before the exams, calling them both irresponsible and that they were bound to get in trouble for it once they got home. Erwin on the other hand, expressed his disappointment, particularly to Severus, causing him to feel more ashamed than expected.

'Why is it dad always seems to expect these things from me,' Lily huffed as she tossed the letter aside, and Severus was relieved to see that the bruises on her wrists had faded entirely.

'Probably because you look just like him,' said Severus. 'I highly doubt he was a well-behaved man when he was still in service.'

'Oh I know dad was a late greaser,' said Lily with a snort. 'Getting into trouble brawling with mods and all in coffee bars. I suppose mum was the only one who managed to domesticate him a bit.'

'Then I hope Arnica can forgive me for bringing it all out in him again,' said Severus.

'I don't think mum is going to forgive anything for a long time after she finds out about this war,' said Lily sadly.

'Who here actually knows what we need to do for our detention?' asked Remus. 'I haven't heard anything from professor McGonagall.'

'I did,' said Sirius. 'Apparently catching a Death Eater is not an excuse for good old professor McGee to let us out of detention – oh shit I'm sorry Evan.'

'It's fine,' said Evan as he steadily looked down at his breakfast. 'She offered me to get me out of detention after what happened. I told her I could actually use the distraction.'

Emma wrapped an arm over his shoulder and pulled him in closer. 'I'm so glad you're moving in with Frank,' she said.

'Ey Frank,' said Evan with a knock on the table. 'Do you think your mum will be mad at me too for breaking the school rules?'

'Hate to break it to you mate,' said Frank from below, 'but if you move in with us, you're one of us.'

'Severus,' said Remus as he folded up a piece of parchment, 'I think you may want to read this.'

'What? are your folks that mad at you?' Severus asked he took the letter from Remus.

Remus shook his head. 'It's a message from Catriona. Good news, I should add.'

Lily leaned in closer as Severus unfolded the letter. Catriona was telling them that mister Mulpepper's pharmacy in Spitalfields had been rebuilt to become a brewing place for the Wolfsbane Potion. To make the whole matter even better, the pharmacy had been changed to a different name, claiming to be a medical brewing company for hospitals. The money needed for supplies was coming directly from St. Mungo's, who in addition receives its funding from the Ministry. This way the Ministry was indirectly funding the project without their knowledge.

'This is brilliant Remus!' Lily shrieked. 'Now you can get your potion directly send to you, and you don't even have to sell a kidney in order to pay for it.'

'This is indeed great news, Remus,' said Severus as he handed the letter back. 'Looks like Lily and I are cooking up your very last batch. Also, it's good to hear that she's staying in contact with mister Scamander about the werewolf registration. I've got one word of advice for you though.'

'What would that be?' asked Remus.

'Destroy the letter,' said Severus. 'You don't want it to fall into the wrong hands.'

Fair point,' said Remus. He tore the letter up to bits, dumped the remainders inside an empty chalice and set it on fire. 'That ought to do it.'

'I think I see newspapers flying in,' said Peter as he looked up.

Peter was right. The Sunday edition of the Daily Prophet was brought in by a large parliament of owls, dropping them off in front of people at the breakfast table.

'I think you may want to read this too Frank,' said Potter with a bang on the table. 'We made the front page.'

Like a bear immerging from its cave after a long winter sleep, Frank crawled out from underneath the table and slumped down into his seat. 'What's the damage?' he growled.

The photo on the front cover was that of an aerial picture taken of the forest after the fire, with smoke still rising up through the tops of the trees.

" _ **Hogwarts under attack!"**_

" _Yesterday, a group of students who had been serving detention along with Rubeus Hagrid, the Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts, fell under siege when a sudden Death Eater attack occurred inside the Forbidden Forest, supported by none other than you-know-who himself._

_Fortunately, none of the students were severely harmed after a quick getaway back onto the school grounds, where an enchantment prevents people from apparating and disapparating at will._

'We bloody fought them,'s aid Sirius with a snarl. 'We fought them off and all they do is portray us as a bunch of runaways.'

_A Death Eater under the name of Rosier, a member of an ancient family in the wizarding world, has been taken into captivity and brought to the Ministry for further questioning._

Evan quickly covered his face with the newspaper he was holding, and for good reason, as several students from other houses had started to look up in his direction.

_Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, who wishes for the students in question to remain anonymous, is currently present at the Ministry of Magic where debates are being held on the severe lack of security present at Hogwarts._

'How the hell are we supposed to stay anonymous?' said Mary irritably. 'Basically the entire school saw us coming out of the woods.'

_Our spokeswoman Dolores Umbridge; Head of the Improper Use of Magic Office and member of the Wizengamot, had the following to say: 'Why the attack has occurred so close to the Hogwarts grounds is unknown to me,' Umbridge explained. 'What I do know, is that the position of Albus Dumbledore as headmaster is put up for questioning as members of the Board of Education, along with many parents whose children are currently attending the school, find him no longer fit for the job.'_

'Hogwarts without Dumbledore,' Lily gasped. 'That sounds horrifying.'

'Keep reading,' said Severus without taking his eyes off the newspaper. 'It gets worse.'

' _It is clear that more drastic security measures need to be taken after yesterday's event,' Umbridge added. We are all in agreement that a lot of things need to change by the time the new school year starts, and research in order to achieve that will need to be done from the inside out.'_

This was the point where Severus crumbled up the newspaper and hurled it across the table.

'Hey I wasn't done reading yet!' said Lily as she tried to catch the newspaper midair.

'The Ministry is going to interfere with Hogwarts,' Severus said bitterly, and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. 'This is bad. This is very, very bad.'

'How is that even possible?' asked Emma. 'I thought Hogwarts was autonomous.'

'It isn't,' said Severus. 'It may seem like it is because Dumbledore has been given a lot of free range since he became Headmaster, but most of the school's funding comes from the Ministry, and where the money comes from, so is the power.'

'But how would they interfere?' asked Potter. 'Are they just going to send Ministry officials here to check things out?'

'That Umbridge woman is going to come here isn't she?' said Remus softly as he pushed his newspaper aside. 'If they find out Dumbledore allowed a werewolf to attend school…'

'I thought you were planning on exposing that secret?' asked Peter with a raised eyebrow.

'Not with the intention of getting Dumbledore fired though,' said Remus. 'That is the last thing I want for this school to happen.'

Severus was starting to grow a headache at the thought of Umbridge coming to the school. The last time that happened it was far into the future, and it had been quite a frustrating year to say the least.

'Uhm uhm,' said Lily with her best Umbridge impersonation, causing Severus to cringe. 'Professor McGonagall is here.'

Right behind Severus was indeed professor McGonagall, looking down, hawk-like as ever, at the group. 'Are you all ready for your next day of detention?'

'Where are you sending us professor? 'asked Regulus. 'I hope it's not scrubbing out old cauldrons or something.'

'No, Severus and I already did that a couple months ago,' said Remus, 'Although now that I come to think of it, they're probably dirty again.'

'Or worse,' said Potter with a look on his face as if he'd done it a couple times before, 'cleaning the trophy room.'

'Sev and I already did that a while back,' said Lily. 'Surely they can't be all dusty again.'

'Would you look at that,' said Sirius with a barking laugh. 'If you keep up that new rebellious attitude of yours, Severus, you might just get your own filing cabinet in Filch's office like we do.'

McGonagall rolled her eyes at Sirius's comment and interfered before the discussion could go any further. 'I'm having you lot help out with Hagrid and professor Kettleburn to look after the unicorns,' she said. 'Consider it a gift after everything that went down in the forest yesterday.'

'Thank you professor!' Alice squealed in delight. 'This day is going to be great.'

And great it was. Severus figured that the unicorns must have understood somehow that they were saved from the attack in the forest, and allowed the group to approach them much easier than they normally would have done.

As the boys went to look after the foals, the girls busied themselves brushing and feeding the older ones.

Severus collected a large amount of tail hairs, and this time instead of sticking them into his own pocket, he handed them over to Hagrid to use.

'Emma,' said Severus when he was sure Lily wasn't taking notice, 'can I ask you something?'

'Sure,' said Emma she walked up to him. 'What is it?'

'I know that this is going to sound strange but uhm, hear me out okay?' Severus asked carefully.

'Alright,' said Emma as she shot Severus a questionable look. 'Need advice or something?'

'No it's just—' Severus glanced one more time in Lily's direction to make sure she wasn't hearing anything, 'you are, _pale_ , right?'

'If you're asking if I have a delicate English skin,' said Emma dryly, 'then yes, Severus, I do.'

'Good,' said Severus, 'then there's something that I would like you to try out for me, if you're willing.'

'Where exactly is this conversation going?' said Emma skeptically.

'Well, I currently got a project running,' said Severus. 'Technically two projects, but there's one that requires some testing beforehand.'

'Is it dangerous?' asked Emma.

'The worst that could happen is that it doesn't work,' said Severus. 'You know how Lily can't really be out in the sun, being a redhead and all. I'm trying to create a sunblock strong enough so she can go outside without turning into a tomato.'

'I'd like to propose a trade,' said Emma as she put her hands on her hips. 'Since you promised me and Peter to help us study for our potions exam, I will test it out for you in return.'

'Thank you,' said Severus. 'I will give you a sample as soon as it's ready.'

'I wasn't finished yet,' said Emma. 'If it works, I would like a small supply of it for myself to make it through the summer.'

'Spoken like a true Slytherin,' said Severus with a grin. 'But sure, I'll make you a batch if it works.'

'Consider it a deal,' said Emma, and with a twirl she headed back to the rest of the girls.

Severus returned to the tiny golden unicorn he had been feeding. The little secret project he had for Lily, along with the other one, were a welcoming distraction amidst all the rising trouble of the wizarding world.

The Dark Lord, Umbridge, Evan's father and Remus's condition were all part of the many things that swirled through his mind, but for now, the happy prancing little unicorn that was bouncing around his feet made it all just a little more bearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N A group of owls is called a parliament.
> 
> A/N What are Mods and Greasers? Mod is an abbreviation for Modernist, and was a subculture that rose up from London in the late 50s and 60s. They were the ones listening to modern jazz, dressed in Italian clothes, rode around on Vespa or Lambretta scooters, and were often associated with dancing in nightclubs under the influence of amphetamine. During the same time another subculture called the rockers, sometimes known as greasers, started to bloom. They were centered around rock and roll music, motorcycles, and wore leather jackets.
> 
> The two groups would end up in brawls so often they were labeled as Folk Devils. The reason why they preferred to hang out in coffee bars (this is where the term "café racer" comes from) is because pubs at the time closed at 11PM while coffee bars were open until early morning, and usually had a jukebox.


	121. Remedial Potions

With their weekends stripped away from them, the Young Order had done nothing but busying themselves studying in the afternoon hours after class. At least, everyone except Severus, who had spent a lot more time working on his two new projects, along with brewing Remus's very last batch of Wolfsbane Potion.

Regarding Evan, with the news of his father being a Death Eater growing old, he was no longer locking himself up in empty classrooms to hide from other student's sneers, and was gradually becoming at peace with the idea that his father had been sentenced to Azkaban for life.

Dumbledore had hardly been sighted since the Death Eater attack in the forest. Severus was under the impression that the headmaster must be having a field day now that the Dark Lord had come so close to the school. Security officials had already been sighted on the grounds, but what exactly they were planning on securing the grounds even further, was unknown to him.

By the last Friday of the month, Severus, along with Emma and Peter, finally found some time for the extra potion lessons he had promised them.

'You literally just read the answer out loud Peter,' said Severus with a groan. 'Why is it that you can't remember what you just read?'

Peter was staring down at his homework with a sad look on his face. 'I don't know,' he said with a soft voice. 'It's just that whenever I read something, I can't remember what I just read.'

'How is that even supposed to work?' asked Severus with a frown. 'How can you not—'

'—Here let me help you, Peter,' said Emma, and shook her head in Severus's direction. 'Would it help if I read it to you?'

'Sure,' Peter mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed at the thought of having to be read to.

As Emma started to read the chapter out loud to Peter, Severus got distracted by the stables on the grounds he could see from the window. The unicorns seemed to be enjoying all the care that was being given to them, and admittedly, the Young Order had often gone back to look after the foals even when they weren't supposed to serve detention. It made him wonder if the Thestral that had been following him during his therapy sessions with Dumbledore was still around.

Severus was brought back to attention when Emma stopped reading. 'So Peter,' he said, 'could you recite Golpalott's Third Law for me now?'

'Golpalott's Third Law states that the antidote for a blended poison will be equal to more than the sum of the antidotes for each of the separate components,' Peter rattled off.

'Very well,' said Severus, somewhat impressed by Peter's sudden ability to recite what Emma had just read to him, 'now can you also explain to me what it means?'

Peter's mouth fell open, but no sound came out. 'I have absolutely no idea.'

'If it makes you feel any better, Peter,' said Emma as he put the book down, 'neither do I.'

'What it states,' Severus attempted to explain, 'is that the antidote for a blended poison, can't simply be created by finding the antidotes to each separate poison and mix them together. It is therefore the job of the potion maker to find that one single ingredient that needs to be added to the mix of antidotes to make it a combined whole. That way it can counteract with the entire blended poison.'

Both Peter and Emma were looking sheepishly up at Severus. 'Could you be a bit more concise?' Emma asked.

Severus ran a hand through his hair in order to think. 'The easiest way I can put this,' he said, 'is that a true antidote to a blended poison is larger than the sum of its parts.'

'So what you're saying,' said Peter as he looked up, and turned red in the face from thinking so hard, 'is that there's always one extra ingredient required on top of the others in order to create a functional antidote.'

'Now I get it,' said Emma as she raised her hands up in praise. 'Why do they have to overcomplicated it so much?'

'Because the way that Peter just explained it to us will not be accepted by the examiners,' Severus stated.

Peter's look of glee fell from his face as quickly as he had come. 'What?' he mumbled in disbelief. 'How does that even—can't you just give a more simplistic answer to such a question?'

'What do you mean?' asked Severus.

'Well,' Peter said as he lowered his voice, 'you were the one who told Remus you could just shove a bezoar down his throat if that first batch of Wolfsbane Potion didn't work, right?'

'Sharp ears you got Peter,' said Severus. 'What is it you're implying?'

'Why is it even necessary to know how to create some super complicated antidote, if there is a much easier solution?'

Severus had to give Peter credit for trying to work a loophole around Golpalott's law. 'Bezoars work against most common poisons, but not all, which is why more complicated antidotes exist to begin with.'

Peter slumped down in his chair out of sheer frustration. 'I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail and there is nothing I can do about it.'

'Peter,' said Severus stiffly, painfully reminded of how his own students would often behave during his time as a teacher, 'all you need to do is keep in mind to answer the way that the examiners want you to answer.'

'If that is supposed to make me feel better, it's not working,' said Peter as he stared up at the ceiling.

'Look,' said Severus, 'if you wanted to debate about the flaws in our school system, I can assure you, we'll all be sitting here until next Christmas. But since our exams are just around the corner, you might as well try to do it the way they want you to do it, and just be done with it.'

'Have you ever considered a teaching career, Severus?' said Emma with a grin. 'You seem so passionate about it.'

'Absolutely not,' Severus growled. 'Not in a million—'

'Alright alright,' Emma said in order to prevent Severus from snapping. 'I got it. Not your cup of tea.'

Severus folded his arms and leaned across the desk. 'How about I quiz the two of you on the properties of few ingredients?'

'Will do,' said Peter as he sat back up straight. 'Fire away.'

'What are Jobberknoll feathers used for?'

'For Truth Serums and Memory Potions,' Emma cited. 'Next.'

'Name an ingredient used in the Hair-Raising potion.'

Peter snorted and a grin formed on his face. 'Rat tails,' he said.

'I figured you'd know that one,' said Severus. 'Do you also know why professor Sprout likes to use rat spleens for?'

'She uses it for the Dragon Dung Fertiliser,' said Peter. 'Next one.'

'What is Flubberworm Mucus used for?'

'Well that's an easy one,' said Emma. 'It's used to thicken potions.'

'Can you also name a potion where it is considered a vital ingredient?'

'The Wiggenweld Potion right?' said Peter carefully. 'It's a cure against the Draught of the Living Death.'

'That is correct Peter,' said Severus. 'There is no need to question your own knowledge. What about cinnamon?'

'Cinnamon?' said Emma with a raised eyebrow, and looking over at Peter with a similar confused look on his face. 'Have we ever used cinnamon in class before?'

'Plenty of times,' said Severus. 'Cinnamon is often used in health potions. It contains a high level of manganese, which a type of iron. The oils can prevent blood from forming unwanted platelets, is anti-microbial and can lower blood sugar. Lots of pregnant women use it in particular, because it's a safe nutritional addition.'

'Is it expected of us to be a walking ingredient encyclopedia like you?' said Emma in disbelieve, 'because if that is the case you can sign me up for a Dreadful grade.'

'I'm not saying you have to know things to the extent that I do,' said Severus, secretly taking some pride in his extensive knowledge, 'but it helps if you know more than just one thing about a certain ingredient.'

'How come you're so positive about what we can expect on the exams?' asked Peter. 'Did you manage to get a hold of a few old exams or something?'

'There's another thing that we could add to the list of things that our educational system lacks,' said Severus 'Proper preparation by the use of expected examples. But as I said, that's not something we want to discuss right now.'

'Do you think this will apply to all the other exams as well?' Asked Emma.

'All the written ones at least,' said Severus. 'I mean, do you really see yourself sitting at your Defense Against the Dark Arts exam and expect only having to name one characteristic for a dark creature?'

'You make a valid point, Severus,' said Emma. 'Of course they want to know more than just the basics.'

'I know we're not technically done yet,' said Peter, 'but is there any way for us to get together again before the exams? Spoken revision like this really seems to help me out.'

'I've got an idea,' said Severus. 'The reason Peter, why you just understood Golpalott's Third Law is because Emma explained it to you. For some odd reason, it's always easier to understand something when a piece of information given to you by your teacher is explained to you by your peers. If the two of you continue to read this out loud to each other and question each other on what it is you just read, you should be able to make a head start.'

'That sounds like a good idea to me,' said Peter. 'Is that something we could do together, Emma?'

'I'm all for it,' said Emma, nodding along in agreement. 'Thank you, Severus. I know you don't like the idea of teaching but I stand with what I just told you, I think you'd make a great one.'

Severus was about to snap something back, but was able to withhold himself by biting on his lower lip, and decided to change the subject. 'Have you had the chance to try out that sunblock I made?'

'Now that you mention it, I did,' said Emma, and rolled up the sleeve of her robe. 'Look, still white as a snowflake.'

'For how long have you been out in the sun though?' asked Severus skeptically.

'Oh, long enough,' said Emma and rolled up her other sleeve, revealing a rather red arm. 'My shoulder is far worse. But needless to say, it really worked.'

'This is fantastic,' said Severus, feeling himself warm up on the inside at the prospect of presenting it to Lily. 'I'll give you your own batch as soon as possible.'

'How's the lesson going?' said Lily from behind them, and quickly Emma rolled up her sleeves again to hide her multi-coloured arms.

Evan was following closely behind her, and they joined them at the table.

'We just heard from professor McGonagall what we have to do for our next detention tomorrow,' said Evan, and longingly looked at the stables outside.

'Please let it be something fun,' pleaded Peter. 'Cleaning the entire dungeons maze last weekend is still making my back ache.'

'We have to categorize and dust off books here in the library,' said Lily bitterly. 'And by that, they mean picking out all the misplaced books and put them back on their proper shelves. It's going to be a nightmare.'

'Doesn't sound too bad to me,' said Severus nonchalantly. 'Maybe if I'm lucky I'll stumble upon some of my mum's old books that I donated.'

'Well if you put it that way,' said Lily with a smile, and give him a kiss on his cheek. 'Has Sev been a good teacher to you?'

'He's good,' said Peter with a grin, ready to throw some oil onto the fire. 'So good in fact, we believe he should be an actual teacher.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N On Peter: Canonically we know that he was able to become an Animagus, use Unforgivable Curses, and managed to bring the Dark Lord back with the creation of a potion. All things that basically scream that he wasn't stupid in the slightest. When we hear him say that he didn't remember all the answers to describe a werewolf despite having one as a friend in Severus's memory, I figured he may just be dyslexic.


	122. Under the Imperius Curse I

'Sev, can I ask you something?' said Lily while she was strumming her guitar.

Severus stopped plucking at his bass. They had just devoted several hours to studying for their exams, and were tuning up their instruments for a well-earned break.

'Sure,' said Severus. 'What is it?'

'You had two study sessions with Emma and Peter now, and I was just wondering—'

'—If you're going to tell me I should consider being a teacher,' Severus interrupted, 'I'm afraid I will have to throw a tantrum.'

'That's not what I was trying to say,' said Lily as she flicker her pick at him. 'I was just wondering why it is that you seem to get along so well with Peter.'

'What makes you think that?' asked Severus. 'Just because I'm helping him out doesn't mean he's my friend all of a sudden.'

'Well it's just—let me put it this way,' said Lily as she looked up thoughtfully. 'I can understand way you and Remus made up and started to get along, and I can even see why you and Sirius are capable of being on friendly terms—you two having a lot in common and all that—but why Peter? He was just as much a bully to you as all the others.'

'Did you honestly believe that I am all doing this from the goodness of my heart?' said Severus while barely capable of keeping a straight face. 'No, there's definitely some Slytherin cunning involved in all of this.'

'I should've known,' Lily answered with a sly grin. 'Care to explain what that cunning plan of yours might be?'

'Peter is vulnerable,' Severus stated. 'I've got a bad feeling that if he doesn't learn to stand up for himself he may end up doing something stupid by the time we leave school.'

'And when did you start making predictions?' Lily laughed. 'Or do you honestly believe he may turn his back on his friends or something?'

This was one of those moments where Severus felt like yelling the truth at her, but knew better than to do that, and so instead he mimicked the grin on her face. 'What I believe, is that if Peter's intention on joining the Order of the Phoenix is real, he is also unknowingly putting himself in a great position of power.'

'Go on,' said Lily, growing curious.

'The thing is Lily,' said Severus seriously, 'Peter is a rat. The fact that he discovered that passageway between Percival Pratt's portrait and the boathouse is because he is able to sniff things out undetected. Peter is able to walk into a battlefield without anyone taking notice, and he may just become one of Dumbledore's most valuable assets in this war—if only he had the guts to stick up for himself.'

Lily's mouth fell open in surprise. 'Now there's some Slytherin cunning if I've ever seen it,' she said. 'So you're basically saying that if we all tried to help Peter up, he may just end up becoming a spy in this whole war?'

'That was the idea at least,' Severus admitted. 'You and I both know that Peter tends to be the arse end of the jokes. You never know when he might snap.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'asked Lily, but before Severus was able to answer, there was a faint knocking on the lab door.

'That's probably professor Slughorn,' said Lily as she put her guitar aside. 'I'll get it.'

Severus put his bass back into its case, wondering what professor Slughorn could possibly want from them, when suddenly someone from behind the door someone yelled "Stupefy!", causing Lily to fall unconsciously on the ground.

'LILY!' yelled Severus as he drew his wand and sprinted across the room. 'WHO THE HELL IS OUR THERE?'

Severus protectively stepped over Lily and held his wand out of the doorframe, and saw a face he never would have expected to see. 'Mary,' he said softly, 'what the fuck if wrong with you?'

Mary didn't answer his question, and instead all she did was hold her wand firmly in her hand and pointed it straight at Severus's throat. 'Mudbloods don't belong here,' she said airily.

Not wanting to figure what was going on with Mary while Lily was lying unconscious on the floor, Severus blasted the Confringo Curse straight her chest, causing her to be blown away and smack straight into the opposite wall.

Quickly Severus picked Lily up. His only concern was to bring her to the hospital wing as fast as possible.

Half running down the corridor of the dungeons, he stumbled upon Evan who was just making his way down to the Slytherin common room.

'Holy shit, what happened, Severus?' said Evan in a fit of panic as soon as he saw Lily slumped unconscious in Severus's arms.

'There's a winged key in my pocket,' said Severus quickly. 'Take it out, now!'

Evan quickly did as he was told, and managed to pull out the key Severus spoke off.

'A little further down the corridor is a fake wall, it's where our lab is hidden.' Severus rattled off. 'Mary is lying there unconscious as well. Lock the door of the lab and take Mary to the hospital wing. I'll explain later.'

Evan immediately ran off in search of the fake wall while Severus continued to run up to the hospital wing, passing a couple of confused looking students along the way.

'Madam Pomfrey!' yelled Severus as he reached the doors of the hospital wing, 'Lily's just been attacked!'

From behind a curtain, madam Pomfrey came hurrying up to him. 'Another one?' she said in a panicky voice, 'please put her down on the empty bed right there. I'll be with you as soon as I can.'

Carefully Severus lowered Lily into an empty bed, and propped up a pillow to make sure her head was supported. It was then that he realised his hands were shaking.

'Severus,' whispered Peter suddenly from behind him, 'did something happen to Lily as well?'

Severus noticed that Lily was stirring slightly, which was the confirmation to him that she would be okay despite the circumstances. 'Who else has been attacked?' he asked without taking his eyes off Lily.

'Emma,' said Peter with a trembling voice. 'Her and I were revising our potions homework when she was suddenly attacked from behind. 'I brought her here as soon as I could.'

'Anyone else we know?' asked Severus as he leaned against the edge of the bed, and took a hold of her hand.

'Not that I know off,' said Peter, 'but there are a few others who were attacked in a similar fashion. I have no idea who is behind all this.'

'I do,' said Severus bitterly, but the moment he reflected back on seeing Mary standing in the doorway, there was something that was horribly off about it. 'Evan should be bringing her in soon.'

'Alright mister Snape,' madam Pomfrey said as she yanked the curtains aside, 'can you tell me exactly what happened?'

'We were inside our lab studying when someone knocked on the door,' Severus retold. 'Lily opened and was hit straight in the chest with a Stunning Spell that knocked her out.'

'She must have made quite a slam on the floor,' madam Pomfrey said as she checked Lily's vitals. 'She most likely has a concussion. Try keeping her awake will you?'

'I will,' said Severus as he ran his fingers through her hair. 'Madam, Evan Rosier can come in here any moment carrying Mary Macdonald. She's the one who attacked Lily.'

With a nod of understanding madam Pomfrey left Severus and Peter behind to tend to Lily, and walked away, probably in search of Mary and Evan.

'Lily,' said Severus softly as placed his other hand on her belly, 'can you hear me?'

'Yeah,' said Lily faintly. 'I'm here.'

'I just saw Evan walking in with Mary,' said Peter. 'I'll go check on them.'

'Is this what a hangover feels like?' Lily asked with a painful look on her face. 'If it is, I do not want it.'

The fact that Lily was attempting to make jokes was enough confirmation for Severus that she would be doing just fine, and felt himself relax a little. 'You just got a minor concussion,' he said. 'Try to stay awake for me will you?'

'I'd rather not,' mumbled Lily. 'Was it really Mary I saw out there?'

'I'm afraid so,' said Severus in a serious manner. 'I got a feeling that she was put under a curse.'

'What makes you say that?' she asked.

Severus couldn't exactly tell Lily that he had seen the Imperius Curse being used hundreds of times before. By Mary's glazy look and monotone voice he should have been able to tell right away that it was a poorly executed Imperius, but in the heat of the moment, his main concern had been with her.

'She said something that didn't sound like it came from her,' said Severus. 'I had to knock her out to keep her from attacking me. Evan just brought her in.'

'I hope she's okay,' said Lily. 'Please tell me if she's okay.'

'Severus,' said Evan from behind him, 'could I please talk to you for a moment?'

'Don't you want to go and see Emma? asked Severus. 'You do know she's out here as well?'

'I know she is and I also know she's doing just fine,' said Evan quickly. 'Could I please, _please_ talk to you for a moment?'

'If it's really important you can also just say it in front of Lily,' said Severus. 'I've got to make sure she stays awake.'

When Evan walked up to Severus, he noticed a very frightened look in his eyes. 'What is it Evan? Do you know something more about all this?'

'Just think, Severus,' said Evan with a hint of shame. 'Who do you know was always boasting about how well he could perform an Imperius Curse?'

Severus thought for a moment, and then it hit him. 'Mulciber,' he said, feeling rage rising up from his core. 'Mulciber must be behind all this!'

'I'll be fine Sev,' said Lily softly. 'Go look for him before he makes any more victims.'

Evan grabbed Severus by the shoulder and dragged him away from Lily. 'Lily's right, Severus,' he said as he forced Severus out of the hospital wing, 'it's more important to put an end to this as soon as possible. Madam Pomfrey can look after her.'

Although reluctant to leave Lily behind in her fragile state, Severus knew Evan was right. They had to find Mulciber, and fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (…) 'What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?' Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face. 'That was nothing,' said Snape. 'It was a laugh, that's all—' 'It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny—' (…)
> 
> (…) 'Any more?' said Crouch. 'Yes!' said Karkaroff. 'There was Travers – he helped murder the McKinnons! Mulciber – he specialised in the Imperius curse, forced countless people to do horrific things! Rookwood, who was a spy, and passed He Who Must Not Be Named useful information from inside the Ministry itself!' (…)


	123. Under the Imperius Curse II

'Where could he possibly be hiding?' asked Severus, and held his wand straight ahead of him as he quickened his pace.

'He could be in the Slytherin common room,' suggested Evan, 'although I doubt that since he's probably still pulling his little prank on people.'

Severus was torn between running up the Grand Staircase and going down into the dungeons in search of Mulciber, but the answer came when suddenly a curse shot straight passed his ear and spattered against the wall.

'Regulus!' Evan cried out. 'Regulus snap out of it!'

Regulus started to run up to them, so Severus quickly shot a Colloshoo spell at him, causing Regulus to trip and slam face down on the floor.

'Grab his wand!' Severus ordered, and immediately Evan dived towards Regulus to yank his wand out of his hand.

'Regulus,' said Severus as he jumped over him and turned him on his back and flicked his fingers in front of his eyes. 'Come on, snap out of it.'

'Oh shit,' Regulus moaned as he tried to open his eyes. 'What the hell happened?'

'Have you seen Mulciber around by any chance?' asked Severus as he helped Regulus back on his feet.

'No idea,' Regulus said as he brushed off the dust that had collected on his robes. 'How did I even get here?'

'We think Mulciber is going around using the Imperius Curse on people as a prank,' said Evan bitterly while handing Regulus his wand back. 'You just shot a curse at us.'

'Woah,' said Regulus, 'now that I think of it, I have been feeling oddly lightheaded.'

'Mary has been attacked as well,' said Severus. 'She's in the hospital wing along with Emma, Lily and a couple of others. I suggest you go there and get yourself checked out as well.'

Regulus's face fell at the mention of Mary. 'I better go and see her then,' he said in a panicky voice. 'It's nearly dinner time so my guess is that Mulciber is heading for the Great Hall.'

As Regulus ran off towards the hospital wing, Severus and Evan took his advice by heart and headed for the Great Hall.

Turns out, Regulus was right. Still standing at the very end of the Slytherin table was Mulciber, surrounded by Avery and several other Slytherins, who were listening and laughing along to a story he was boasting.

Severus didn't hesitate for one moment, and with a quick sprint towards the end of the hall he shoved his way through the crowd and jumped right on top of Mulciber, causing him to stagger and fall straight on the ground.

'What the fuck Snape!' Mulciber cried out as he tried to wriggle his way out of his grip.

Several arms tried to pull Severus away from Mulciber, but he wouldn't give in without a struggle and pressed his knees against the inside of Mulciber's arms.

Like Evan had done with Regulus a moment before, he snatched the wand out of Mulciber's hand and aimed both wands at the group, causing them to take a stand back.

'What is happening?' professor McGonagall said as she hurried her way across the Great Hall. 'What is the reason for all this commotion?'

'There are several students currently in the hospital wing because they were put under a curse, professor,' said Severus without taking his eyes off Mulciber. 'I believe mister Mulciber here has been using the Imperius Curse to set others up by means of a prank.'

'That is a very serious accusation, mister Snape,' said McGonagall strictly. 'And could you please lower those wands, mister Rosier? There's no need for that.'

In the meantime professor Slughorn had wobbled his way up to the end of the Slytherin table. 'Severus, stand up,' he ordered. 'Please explain what is going on.'

With a final push with his knees into Mulciber's arms, Severus stood up, and was severely tempted to kick him in the head if it wasn't for half the Great Hall taking notice. 'Mulciber here is the reason my girlfriend is in hospital right now,' he spat.

'Horace,' said McGonagall, 'I'll go to the hospital wing to see what is happening out there. Make sure these boys are taken care of properly.'

With a twirl of her tartan cloak, McGonagall disappeared from the scene, leaving behind a very confused looking Slughorn.

'Here professor,' said Evan, and handed over the wand he had taken from Mulciber. 'Using Priori Incantato should prove it.'

'If it is true what you say, mister Snape,' said Slughorn as he looked down at Mulciber, 'then I believe it would be wise to bring this up to Dumbledore.'

'I prefer to head back to the hospital wing, professor,' said Severus. 'Lily is lying there with a concussion and I want to make sure she's okay.'

'Just go,' said Slughorn with wave of his hand. 'Let me take care of this.'

Evan, somewhat torn between following Severus back to the hospital wing and staying behind, skipped right after him when he noticed that Severus was already near entrance of the Great Hall.

'What do you think will happen when the teachers find out it was Mulciber?' Evan asked as he hurried after Severus.

'As far as I'm concerned I hope he gets expelled and never returns,' Severus said bitterly. 'Right now it's more important to prove that Mary in innocent in all this.'

Once they reached the hospital wing again, Severus was instantly relieved to see Lily sitting straight up on her bed, and was accompanied by none other than Dumbledore himself.

'Hey Sev,' said Lily weakly. 'Did you manage to find Mulciber?'

'We did,' said Severus, and saw that Evan had made his way where Emma was lying. 'Managed to get a hold of his wand. If professor Slughorn used Priori Incantato he should be able to see that it was him using the Imperius Curse.'

Severus jumped onto the bed beside her and pulled her into an embrace. 'Mind if I ask what brings you here, headmaster?' he asked.

Dumbledore smiled up at him with twinkling eyes. 'Miss Evans here just explained to me what happened down in the dungeons. Unfortunately miss Macdonald is still unconscious, so we can't question her as of yet.'

'That is my fault,' said Severus, feeling somewhat ashamed now at the fact that he had acted in defense without really thinking why Mary was there in the first place. Coming to think of it, why was it that Mulciber knew where his lab was to begin with…'I just hope Mary won't get into trouble for this,' he added.' I may have acted on my instincts a little too roughly.'

'There hasn't been a student that madam Pomfrey has not been able to help,' said Dumbledore reassuringly. 'I believe miss Macdonald is innocent, as do several others here in this hospital wing who have been attacked by her.'

'I'm glad to hear that,' said Lily.

'Severus,' said Dumbledore a bit more seriously, 'could you perhaps explain to me why it is you believe that mister Mulciber is guilty for using an Unforgivable Curse?'

It would have been much easier to explain if it wasn't for Lily leaning up against him, but the memories of experimenting with such dark magic were now weighing heavily on his conscious. Still, the truth was preferable over a series of white lies. 'It's because I am just as guilty for experimenting with such curses headmaster,' Severus confessed. 'I know for a fact that the Imperius Curse is one of Mulciber's favourites because he enjoys watching other people get in trouble for what he has inflicted.'

Lily looked at Severus as if her pet owl had died. 'Are you being serious?' she said, looking hurt.

'Lily,' said Severus, hoping that she wasn't going to throw a tantrum regarding his past wrongdoings, 'out of all people you should know that I am anything but innocent when it comes to meddling with the Dark Arts.'

Lily let out a sigh as if to say that she wasn't going to argue about it any further, but Severus knew that he wasn't going to hear the end of it.

'Headmaster,' said Severus as he turned to Dumbledore, 'will Mulciber be expelled from Hogwarts if he is found guilty for what he's done?'

'I can understand why you want mister Mulciber to leave Hogwarts Severus,' said Dumbledore, 'but I'm afraid I cannot expel him, no matter what he has done.'

'Why?' said Severus, feeling himself growing angry. 'Why is it that someone who has clearly been using Unforgivably Curses will not face the consequences for what he's done?'

'For several reasons, Severus,' said Dumbledore calmly. 'One reason is because he is a minor, meaning that he will have to face different consequences opposed to had he been a grown-up. The other reason is because I know that his parents want him to attend Durmstrang by the start of next school year, which can only be achieved if he passes his OWLs.'

'So what you're saying is that Mulciber will leave on his own terms if he passes his exams this year?' Severus asked in confirmation.

'That is exactly what I am saying,' Dumbledore confirmed. 'The exams are held in a few days from now. I'm asking you to bite the bullet just a little longer, as the Muggles would say.'

'Then I only have one request if he is indeed here to stay until the end of the school year,' said Severus, 'and that is that I no longer want to share the Slytherin dorm rooms with him. Either he moves out, or I do.'

Dumbledore nodded in understanding. 'If mister Mulciber is indeed found guilty of the crime, I will make sure that he find his residence in different part of the castle until the end of the school year.'

'Thank you, headmaster,' said Severus stiffly.

A moment later, a silver fish came swimming through the air from outside the hospital wing, and stopped in front of Dumbledore to deliver a message. 'I have taken mister Mulciber up to your office, Albus. We shall wait for your arrival.'

'Is there anything else you wish to talk about before I leave, Severus?' asked Dumbledore as the silver fish dissolved into nothing.

'Is there any news as to why the Dark Lord was hiding out in the Forbidden Forest?' asked Severus. 'The only thing we know is that more drastic security measures are going to be taken.'

Dumbledore's face fell at the mention of security measures. 'So far we have been unable to figure out why they were after the unicorns, if that is what they were after to begin with. Regarding the security measures, it is true that the ministry will be placing officials here among security measures that were assigned to come here by the Minister of Magic himself.'

Severus knew what that meant. If he remembered correctly, minister Minchum was the one who basically turned Azakaban into a breeding place for Dementors in order to tighten security even further. If he was indeed taking control over the security measures of Hogwarts, they could expect Dementors to be guarding every outpost of the castle by the start of the new term.

'Will the unicorns be let back into the forest soon?' asked Lily. 'It's been fun taking care of them, but they really don't belong out here on the grounds.'

'The trees that professor Sprout has planted are close to reaching their full size,' said Dumbledore. 'If everything goes according to plan, they can be released into the wild again by the next full moon.'

'That's next Saturday,' said Severus as he looked at Lily. 'Maybe we could help Hagrid and professor Kettleburn with that before we take Remus to the Shrieking Shack for the last time.'

'I better head back to my office,' said Dumbledore as he stood up. 'Try not to focus on mister Mulciber right now Severus, passing your exams is more important than holding grudges.'

As Dumbledore left the hospital wing, Lily sat back up straight. 'I want to see if Mary is okay,' she said with a glare, and carefully she lowered herself from the bed.

…

'Honestly Sev,' Lily growled as she paced around the lab. 'I know—I know perfectly well that you have a history with the Dark Arts and that you've done some _stupid_ things with it, but Unforgivable Curses, _Unforgivables Curses, Severus,_ how could you—how—'

Severus was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room while Lily was pacing around him, and was uncomfortably aware of his hands hanging awkwardly by his side. 'Lily, _please just—'_

'How could you possibly have a good reason for this, Sev?' Lily sneered. 'Please, _do explain.'_

'Because I'm a stupid git,' said Severus with a shrug. 'I don't have any good excuses for what I've done, Lily. I don't.'

'Then why?' said Lily, growing sad from all the frustration that was pouring out of her. 'The consequences—'

'—I am well aware of the consequences,' said Severus, 'but what I can explain to you is why I bothered to learn the curse to begin with.'

Lily stopped pacing around, tossed her hair over one shoulder with a flick of her hand and shot him a murderous glare. 'Then you better have a good explanation for all of this, _mister_.'

'The Imperius Curse is the only Unforgivable Curse you can learn to fight against,' he said quickly, expecting to be set on fire any moment with a snap of her fingers. 'Learning how to perform mind control, also meant learning to fight against my mind being controlled.'

Lily's fury seemed to dim just a little bit at the mention of being able to fight against such a curse. 'Then I have a suggestion for you,' she said, and Severus knew it was more of a demand than an actual suggestion. 'By the time the Young Order gets back together during the next school year, you'll be the one to teach everyone to fight against this curse.'

'Will do,' said Severus, not wanting to argue any further with Lily when she was on the verge of exploding into smithereens. 'Now, can I at least attempt to cheer you up?'

'And how do you plan on doing that?' asked Lily as she started to massage her temples.

From the inside of his robes, Severus pulled out a chocolate muffin he had snatched from the Slytherin table moments ago. 'I figured you might be hungry.'

Lily eyed the muffin with suspicion, and then snatched it out of his hands. 'I'll consider it a peace offering,' she said, and started nibbling the chocolate coating off the edges. 'Thanks.'

When it seemed safe enough to approach her, Severus wrapped one arm around her middle and gave her a kiss on her cheek. 'Feel free to call me a git for as long as you need,' he said, 'as long as you remember that I am your git.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N "Colloshoo" is a sticking charm, causing your shoes to stick to the ground with some sort of ectoplasm. It was mentioned in Vindictus Viridian's book: Curses and Counter-Curses.
> 
> A/N To prevent confusion: "Priori Incantatem" is the Reverse-Spell effect, which is what happens when two wands sharing the same core collide. "Priori Incantato" is the incantation used to reveal to most recent spell used by a wand.
> 
> A/N Full moon fell on Saturday the 12th of June in 1976, two days prior to the exams.
> 
> A/N Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix contains 257,045 words (British standard edition). Congrats. You just read the equivalent of the longest novel in the series.


	124. Unicorns don't Belong in Stables

It was Dumbledore who had brought Severus the confirmation that it had been indeed Mulciber who was using the Imperius Curse to pull pranks on people, and with that, Mulciber was also taken out of the Slytherin dorm room and brought to a different part of the castle where he could study for the exams without interrupting any more students.

Once Mulciber had left the dorms, two questions arose inside Severus's mind. The first one he had asked himself before, which was how Mulciber knew where his lab was to begin with, and a second question, which was due to the fact that something had changed significantly from his future's past.

In Severus's former lifetime, Mulciber had never left Hogwarts until graduation. Severus pondered on it for a while, until he came to the understanding that it may be himself who was the very cause of Mulciber's decision to switch schools. Neither him, Evan or Regulus were interested in joining the ranks of the Dark Lord anymore. Sure, there were plenty of Slytherins, and even members from other houses, who supported the cause the Dark Lord had set up, but the very core of students who wanted to join the ranks as actual Death Eaters had simply fallen apart. Durmstrang was much more likely to have a larger selection of future Death Eaters walking around, and it would make sense for Mulciber to move there and surround himself with more likeminded people.

Against his own will, Severus had to admit that Dumbledore had been right all along. For Mulciber to remain at Hogwarts despite everything he has done would be the better option considering the circumstances, and now there was nothing that could be done to prevent him from leaving.

Severus hardly got to see Lily after her brief moment in the hospital wing. Not because she was still mad at him for confessing having used an Unforgivable Curse, but because the realisation that the exams were so close she had ended up hoarding some of her own supply of Calming Draughts, and had to spend most of her time with her own house finishing up the impressive piles of homework and group projects she still had lying around.

Admittedly, Severus didn't mind so much that she was focusing entirely on her education for a change, opposed to the countless of potion projects she had running inside the lab. The Felix Felicis she had been working on since January was still simmering softly in a corner of the lab, and should be ready within a week from now. What exactly Lily was planning on doing with it, however, was still unknown to him.

Today was the day of Remus's monthly transformation. The Young Order had met up in the Great Hall about it, and contemplated either going back to the boathouse again, or join Remus to the Shrieking Shack where he was meant to go for his transformations. One thing was clear though, they were all going to be by his side despite it being the last weekend before the exams. Some things were considered more important than receiving an Outstanding in a subject, and supporting your friends was one of those.

'Dumbledore told me when we were in the hospital wing that the unicorns are going to be released back into the wild today,' said Lily. 'We could go up to Hagrid and see if we can be present when it happens.'

'I'd love that!' said Regulus happily. 'Can we go right after we finish our breakfast?'

'Said the only one in the group who doesn't have to face his OWLs for another year,' said Mary with a skeptical glare. 'But I do agree with you. I'd like to see the unicorns being put back into the wild.'

Right beside Severus, Lily had started to wolf down her breakfast. 'What?' she said after seeing Severus look at her with amusement, 'I've grown attached to those unicorns. I want to see them make it safely back into the forest.'

'Just one thing before we go out there,' said Severus. 'Your uhm—big project is ready in exactly a week from now.'

'I know it is,' said Lily as she used a goblet full of pumpkin juice to swallow her food. 'What about it?'

'I think you're forgetting about something important,' Severus pointed out as he took a sip from his coffee.

Lily looked sheepishly up at Severus. 'Is it essential?' she asked.

Severus raised his shoulders in a nonchalant fashion. 'Only if you don't want to chug six months of hard work down the drain.'

Lily's eyes turned wide in fear. 'Please tell me what it is I'm forgetting,' she said in a timid voice. 'I will not be able to live with myself if I fuck it up in the last week of its brewing stage.'

'You still have to add powdered citrine to the solution today,' said Severus. 'If you don't, it'll end up sticking to the cauldron like bubblegum.'

'Do you think professor Slughorn has any citrine?' Lily asked, and started to shift uncomfortably in her seat. 'Please tell me he does.'

From the inner pocket of his robe, Severus pulled out a small clear yellow stone and handed it over to Lily. 'I can't guarantee I'll be able to pull this off next time,' he said as he gave her the eye. 'Do you want to go and do this before we head to the grounds?'

Looking like a child who had just received the Christmas gift she had been whining about all year, Lily grabbed Severus by his robes and dragged him out of the Great Hall to the lab.

'But what about the unicorns Evans?' Potter called out as they made their way out of the Great Hall.

'We'll meet you all there later Potter,' Lily yelled back. 'Sev and I got something important to do!'

Quickly Severus opened up the door of the lab so Lily could sprint her way up to the cauldron where she had her Felix Felicis simmering.

'It's a pretty stone, isn't it?' said Lily as she held it up against the faint light that came from the lake. 'Where did you manage to find it?'

'Ordered it a while back,' said Severus. 'Couldn't find it among Slughorn's supplies and I already had a feeling you would forget about it, so I got it for you.'

Lily sat down in front of the cauldron and looked up at Severus with adoration. 'My boyfriend got me a pretty rock,' she said gleefully. 'Too bad I have to crush it into dust for the potion though.'

Severus sat down beside her and couldn't help but smile at her happiness over something as simple as getting an ordinary gemstone. 'Better grab that mortar and pestle to crush it up then,' he said.

'How about you do it for me?' said Lily as she handed him the mortar. 'Your hands are much stronger than mine.'

As Lily dropped the little gemstone in the mortar, Severus went to work by crushing it up into smaller bits. 'I was wondering,' he said, 'what exactly were you planning on using the Felix for?'

'I'm still undecided, 'said Lily. 'Perhaps we could have some fun with it in during the summer, but on the other hand, this war…'

'I wouldn't rely on Felix to safe your life,' said Severus, 'but I do think it would be wise to safe it for a time when it may be a necessity rather than for fun.'

'I suppose you're right,' said Lily, but looked a little disappointed nonetheless. 'You ready?'

Severus handed her back the mortar with the crushed up citrine. 'If you have done everything properly of the past months, the potion should turn into the same colour as the stone.'

Very carefully, Lily took a little bit of the citrine dust between her fingers and divided it equally among the potion while stirring with her other hand. The colourless potion was slowly gaining a faint golden colour, and after a while it started to look as if sunlight was trapped inside the cauldron.

'Perfect,' Lily whispered excitedly. 'Now all we need to do it let it simmer for a week to let it strengthen.'

'Well done,' said Severus as he looked down at the bright potion, 'you have just accomplished to create one of the complicated potions known to wizardkind.'

'This is such a confidence boost,' Lily squealed in delight. 'I can't wait for it to be finished.'

'How about we go make our way to the grounds before the unicorns are gone?' Severus suggested. 'I don't want to miss out on seeing those little foals prance off back into the forest.'

Lily cupped Severus's face with her hands and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. 'Thank you for saving my potion, Sev. I really appreciate it.'

Severus was severely tempted to start kissing her back and spend just a little more time in the lab, but the prospect of seeing the unicorns return to the forest after all their hard work was winning the battle in his mind.

They had returned just in time. The unicorns had already been taken out of the stables by professor Kettleburn, and Hagrid was carrying his crossbow to lead them back safely into the forest.

'Where have you two been?' asked Evan. 'We've been waiting for you to show up.'

'At the lab,' said Severus. 'We needed to look after a project first.'

'Yeah, right,' said Evan with a snort. 'Hope you had fun down there mate, but these unicorns are not going to wait on us.'

'Jus' gather 'round the herd for me will ya,' Hagrid ordered. 'We're goin' to lead 'em into the forest. Follow me!'

The ground did as they were told, and formed an open circle around the unicorns as Hagrid took the lead into the Forbidden Forest.

'Hagrid,' Severus called out as he ran up front. 'Hagrid, do you have any ideas as to why the Death Eaters may have been after the unicorns?'

'I got a few,' Hagrid growled as he held tightly on to his crossbow. 'As you kno' their alicorns have healing powers, not very unlike bezoars. I got a feelin' they jus' wanted a quick way o' getting their hands on expensive ingredients.'

It didn't seem like the Dark Lord's style to care so much about creating healing potions, but on the other hand, the man would give anything to live forever. Having his followers kill the unicorns to prevent his own hands from being tainted by killing something pure may just be the best answer yet.

After a while they had reached the place where they had been attacked. Professor Sprout had done a great job planting new trees, as they had reached the same size as the trees that had burned down in a matter of weeks.

'Looks like this bit o' forest is clear,' said Hagrid. 'Time to let 'em wander off.'

Some of the older unicorns took the first chance they had to disappear among the trees, but the younger ones demanded to be petted before running off after their herd. The tiny golden foal Severus had been looking after was walking in circles around his feet, demanding a final cuddle.

Severus went down on one knee to pet the little unicorn one last time. 'Take care of yourself little one,' he whispered to the little foal.

With a final bounce the unicorn ran after its mother, its golden fur still shimmering in the sunlight as it made its way through the trees.

'Sad to see them leave,' said Regulus with a groan. 'They were really starting to grow on me.'

'Never thought I'd see you get into horses like that, Sev,' said Lily as she walked up to him. 'Next year's Care of Magical Creature classes are going to be fun for you.'

'Perhaps,' said Severus softly as he continued to stare into the distance. The little golden unicorn was long gone, but in the shadows he had caught sight of a pair of glittering white eyes staring back through a cluster of bushes.

The thestral was still there, and she was still following him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Citrine is a gemstone and looks like solidified clear honey. In healing folklore, it is believed that citrine brings good fortune and good luck, which is why it is often nicknamed the "success stone". Supposedly it also wards off negative energy and happenings. All this is the reason why I chose this stone as an ingredient in the Felix Felicis.
> 
> A/N Unicorn horn is also known as an alicorn. During the Middle Ages and Renaissance it was considered the most expensive and reputable remedy around, and was believed to influence alchemy by spagyric (herbal medicine produced by alchemic procedures) medicine. It was meant to purify and fight disease. This was done until the 18th century, when it became public that the "unicorn horns" were in fact narwhal teeth.


	125. That Unfortunate Day

With the philosophy that teachers couldn't possibly hand out any more detentions so close to the exams, to Young Order had spent another successful night out at the boathouse. Frank hadn't brought any weed along this time, but the mead that was left from the month before was flowing thoroughly. Tempting as it was, going for a swim again in the dead of the night was decided against. Not so much because they worried about teachers finding out, but because receiving any more Howlers from home was the last thing anyone wanted to deal with.

Somewhere between their last-minute revision for their Charms exam on Monday, Lily had managed to sell most of their stock of Calming and Invigorating Draughts, leaving them with enough money for Severus to buy a motorbike, and still have plenty left to make it through the summer and buy new school supplies.

On the day of their first exam, not much was said during breakfast. Peter kept muttering to himself as he reread the Standard Book of Spells for the umptieth time while simultaneously shoving toast in his mouth. The girls had formed a secluded group and were questioning each other from the book Achievements in Charming, while some of the boys were practicing basic Locomotion Charms, making forks and knives race each other around the edge of the table.

The only two members of the Young Order who were entirely oblivious to all the exam stress, were Severus and Regulus.

'So glad I don't have to think about all this for another year,'s aid Regulus with a widespread yawn. 'Watching all of you slowly lose your sanity these past weeks has been a depressing sight.'

'Don't worry, Reggie,' said Mary as she looked up at him, 'I'll make sure it'll be just as terrible for you as it is to us.'

As Regulus and Mary started to bicker, Severus casually continued to sip his coffee, feeling more than confident enough that he was going to pass everything in the same way he had done before.

'Severus,' said Frank as he eyed Severus with suspicion. 'Did you get your hands on some of my stash by any chance?'

'What?' said Severus sheepishly. 'Your little green smelly plants you mean?'

'Yeah, 'said Frank. 'How could you possibly be so relaxed so shortly before the exams? It's abnormal, even with the use of Calming Draughts.'

Severus got a sly grin on his face. 'I don't allow stress to overwhelm me when it is my mind that I need the most in these type of situations.'

'Is it something you put in your coffee?' Frank asked as he pulled Severus's cup out of his hands and sniffed it. 'Because I'll have what you're having.'

'I can assure you it's just regular coffee,' said Severus as he took another cup from the table and poured himself a new one.

'Oh no,' said Lily faintly. 'I think the examiners are here.'

Through the doors of the Entrance Hall, professor McGonagall was talking vividly with a very short and stooped witch.

'That's professor Marchbanks,' Severus pointed out. 'I recognise her because she's also a member of the Wizengamot. She was there when I received my Order of Merlin.'

'She's a friend of my mum,' said Frank. 'Should've known she would be here.'

'I didn't know that,' said Alice with a sour look on her face. 'What is she like? Is she strict?'

'She's just like mum, really,' said Frank with a shrug. 'Strict but not unreasonable.'

Like that, the remaining bits of breakfast disappeared from the table, and everyone knew it was time to leave the Great Hall so it could be prepared for the exams of the fifth and seventh-years.

Regulus gave Mary a good luck kiss before he rejoined the rest of his group for their lessons, and once the clock hit half past nine, the Great Hall opened its doors again, revealing rows of tables for one where the house tables stood only a moment ago.

'Lily,' said Severus before she could run off towards a table, 'come here.'

Severus wrapped his arms around her and held on for just a little while. 'You've always excelled at Charms. I am positive you will do just fine.'

'Thanks, Sev,' said Lily with a wide smile. 'I'm so glad you can stay calm in the heat of all this. It puts me at ease.'

With a quick kiss Severus and Lily broke apart and made their way towards the tables they were supposed to be seated.

Severus shifted the quill and bottle of ink they were given to the left side of the table. The exam paper was already lying face down on the desk. Once everyone was seated and quiet, McGonagall said, 'you may begin,' and turned over an enormous hour-glass on the desk beside her.

Severus turned over his paper and leaned forward to skim the questions properly, his hair flopping on the table as it formed a curtain around his face. _a) Give the incantation and b) describe the wand movement required to make objects fly._ With a snort, Severus dipped his quill into the ink, and began to write.

…

The Transfiguration written and practical exam the next day came just as easy to Severus as Charms had been, and he had managed to vanish his entire flamingo without even really trying. Admittedly, he did enjoy showing off a bit by performing all spells nonverbally. By Wednesday his practical exam for Herbology had gone well, at least, under the assumption that none of the examiners had seen Frank smack the Fanged Geranium away just in time before it could bite him.

The Defense Against the Dark Arts exam was held on Thursday and was supervised by professor Flitwick this time. Before entering the Great Hall, Severus had managed to slip Peter another Calming Draught as he had grown so anxious, he was not only biting his nails, but his fingers as well.

Golden rays were streaming through the high windows, and Severus secretly wished for the written exam to be over as soon as possible. The weather outside was just too good not to enjoy before their practical examination in the afternoon.

As expected, a couple of simple questions down the exam paper asked for five signs to identify werewolves, and hastily Severus started to scribble everything down. It was then, that something started to dawn on him that he had not thought of in a long time.

It was a memory that had been etched, or rather left a scar, in the back of his mind. Today was the day that he had called Lily a Mudblood. It was the day she had officially ended her friendship with him. It was the day he decided that becoming a Death Eater was the best possible prospect he had in life.

Everything was different this time around. Just how different however, was something he would have to find out after the hour-glass had run out of sand.

The written exam for Defense Against the Dart Arts was as easy as Severus remembered it, if not easier, since he had done it all before. He was done long before everyone else was, and twirled his quill between his fingers for a while until finally professor Flitwick came around to summon all the exams.

Severus decided to retrace his steps from what he remembered the first time around. He hadn't bothered to revise anything, but this time he took his exam paper with him before leaving the Great Hall.

Pretending to read, a group of chatting girls separated him from the Marauders. Faintly, he could hear Sirius talking. 'Did you like question ten Moony?' said Sirius as they merged into the Entrance Hall.

'Loved it,' said Remus briskly. ' _Give five signs that identify the werewolf._ Excellent question.'

'D'you think you managed to get all the signs?' said James in tones of mock concern.

'Think I did,' Lupin said seriously, and they joined the crowd that were making its way towards the sunlit grounds. 'One: he's sitting in my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin.'

'How did you do Wormtail?' asked Sirius mockingly. 'Got all the signs?'

'I got them all down just fine,' said Peter with a frown. 'Severus passed me a Calming Draught before we started. That really helped.'

The Marauders made their way towards the lake, while Severus, still pretending to be reading his exam paper, sat down in the shadow of a clump of bushes.

'Well, I thought the paper was a piece of cake,' Severus heard Sirius say. 'I'll be surprised if I don't get an "Outstanding" on it at least.'

'Me too,' said James as he pulled out a struggling golden Snitch from his pocket.

'Where'd you get that?' Sirius asked.

'Nicked it of course,' James said casually, and allowed it to fly away before catching it again in mid-air.

Remus pulled out a book from his bag and started reading while James continued to show off with his Snitch.

After a moment Sirius's head turned, and looked straight at Severus. 'Oi!' he yelled, 'there you are, Severus.'

Severus looked up from his exam paper, pretending to look confused. 'Didn't see you there,' he lied.

'Just come and join us,' said Potter as he casually laid down in the grass. 'The weather's too good to be hiding in shadows.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus as he stood up, shoved the exam into his bag and joined the Marauders. 'Just got to make sure we don't lose track of time for our practical exam.'

Already getting annoyed by Potter's desire to show off, Severus quickly snatched the Snitch out of the air before Potter could catch it again, causing Peter to roar with laughter.

'Trying for the team next year, Snape?' Potter asked. 'Sure Slytherin could use some reflexes like that.'

'I'm pretty sure people are still talking about my disastrous display on the field from earlier this year, Potter,' said Severus dryly. 'I think I would do Slytherin more of a favour by not joining.'

If it wasn't for Potter suddenly becoming mesmerized by the girls that were down by the lake, Severus wouldn't have realised that Lily was already here. 'Lily,' he called out. 'Didn't know you were here already.'

'Hey Sev,' said Lily happily as she bounced her way towards him. 'Do I need to bother and ask how your exam went?'

'As simple as I expected it to be,' said Severus with a grin. 'You're turning a little red in the face.'

Lily let out a loud groan and sprawled herself out in the grass. 'Good thing our practical exam starts soon. Already getting a sunburn…ridiculous…'

'Here, Peter,' said Severus as he tossed the Golden Snitch to him. 'Remember I had two projects running Lily?'

'Yup,' said Lily, now covering her face with both her hands. 'What about it?'

'One of them I made for you,' said Severus as he rummaged through his bag. 'Here.'

Severus handed her a tin box. 'It's a very strong sunblock,' he explained. 'I had Emma test it out for me. Works like a charm.'

'Woah,' Lily blurted out, and looked at the tin box as if she had just been handed a pot of gold. 'You invented a type of sunblock that would actually work for me?'

'Well look at that,' said Potter as he looked wide-eyed at the tin box Severus had handed her. 'Never imagined you to be such a lady charmer, Snape.'

'If I didn't know any better I'd say you're jealous,' Severus answered, pleased with himself that he was able to present Lily with this gift right in front Potter's nose.

Lily had opened the tin box and had started to smear the substance on her face and hands right away. 'It even feels soothing,' she said with delight. 'Thank you so much, Sev. You're the best.'

'I've made enough for you to get through the summer,' Severus added. 'The only thing it doesn't do is help you tan, but I'm sure that doesn't matter.'

'Never had a tan and I don't think I ever will,' said Lily with a shrug. 'Thank you, again. This is fantastic.'

Lily stood up and gave Severus a passionate kiss before rejoining the rest of the girls by the lake, leaving him with a permanent grin on his face.

'So why d'you do it?' Potter asked, and Severus could hear the jealousy prominent in his voice.

'Two reasons, Potter,' said Severus casually. 'First one because I enjoy giving practical gifts. The second reason is because now I will get to see her in a bathing suit this summer.'

'And you called me shallow,' said Potter with a snort. 'Can't blame you though. I would enjoy seeing her in a bathing suit.'

Severus didn't need to latch out, as Remus already did it for him by smacking Potter on the back of his head with his book. 'No need to be so insensitive Prongs,' he snapped.

Alright alright, sorry,' Potter huffed. 'Just not going to deny she's a gorgeous girl is all.'

'I know she is,' said Severus proudly, and from the corner of his eye he caught Avery sitting by himself in the shadow of the cluster of bushes he had sat earlier, holding on tightly to his exam paper. 'So, what about our practical exam?'

…

Everyone was called in on alphabetical order into the Great Hall, causing a large group to be waiting in the Entrance Hall for their turn. Sirius and Lily were one of the first ones to enter, and were soon followed by Frank, Remus, Mary, and Peter and Potter after that.

It gave Severus some time to reflect. The Marauders hadn't attacked him like they had done the first time around. Not that he had expected them to do so, but for Potter to actually invite him over to join them felt like he had entered the opposite side of the spectrum.

Sirius no longer called him Snivellus. Peter had done much better this time around, and Remus was making it through the full moons much easier now that he had the Wolfsbane Potion. Lily, instead of being angered, had been grateful for his little gift instead. Nobody had been hurt, and the only thing that stood out to him was that Avery had suddenly taken his place now that Mulciber was no longer attached to him to boss him around.

Evan and Severus had ignored Avery as much as possible the past couple of weeks, but it was now that he came to the realisation that Avery was suddenly put in a vulnerable position without his bossy sidekick. This was something to think about, but not now, as he was called in by someone whom he remembered as professor Tofty to enter the Great Hall.

With ease, Severus performed all the counter-jinxes and defensive spells that were requested of him to perform. All nonverbally, of course.

'Well done,' professor Tofty said with a nod of approval. 'I think that ought to do it…'

Severus looked around to see if there were any other students he recognised, but didn't see any, and decided it was worth the risk. 'I can do a Patronus charm too, professor,' said Severus, trying hard not to sound too cocky. 'For an extra point, perhaps?'

Professor Tofty was looking impressed even before Severus had casted the charm. 'But of course, go ahead.'

With all the positive twists that had occurred today kept in the front of his mind, Severus mumbled "Expecto Patronum", causing the silver doe to erupt from the tip of his wand and prance around the room.

'Excellent!' said professor Tofty. 'Very well, mister Snape, you may go!'

Severus left the Great Hall with a feeling that he usually only savoured for Lily. The realisation that Lily was no longer the only thing that caused him happiness had suddenly dawned on him, and left him, in its rare occurrence, speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (…) 'I don't think it's true,' said Neville quietly from behind them. 'Because Griselda Marchbanks is a friend of my gran's, and she's never mentioned the Malfoys.' 'What's she like, Neville?' asked Hermione at once. 'is she strict?' 'Bit like gran really,' said Neville in a subdued voice. (…)
> 
> A/N (…) Snape let out a stream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened. (…) (Just delivering canon evidence that Severus, in fact, swore.)
> 
> A/N Why is Snape left-handed in this story? Being left-handed has been a sign of witchcraft for centuries. Sometimes even considered to be a mark of the Devil. Mephistopheles is depicted as holding his left hand pointing at the dark and hidden side of life/magic, while his right hand always points at the light and visible side of life/magic. Considering Severus's background, it seemed fitting.


	126. Memories and Connections

'It's glorious,' Lily whispered.

'I certainly is, 'said Severus, looking up at the tiny glass phials with the same adoration.

Lily's months of hard work had finally paid off. The Felix Felicis was officially finished. She had divided the potion among ten small phials equally, and had stacked them neatly onto the shelves behind the desk inside the lab.

'I must say, Sev,' Lily continued as the swirling gold of the Felix reflected in her eyes, 'I am somewhat tempted to try one for the hell of it.'

'You do understand what the consequences are if you get caught?' Severus said with a frown. 'We still got several exams to go.'

'Oh I know that,' said Lily matter-of-factly. 'But still, I can't help but wonder what it's like…'

'Let's go to the library and meet with the rest shall we?' Severus suggested as he pulled Lily away from the shelves. 'Better stay away from temptation for now.'

Gently shoving a somewhat struggling Lily out of the lab, Severus took the lead up to the library. Potions was the first exam the following Monday, and although Severus didn't have to participate with his pre-registered "Outstanding", there were still plenty of members from the Young Order asking for his help.

Digging deep into his memories, Severus remembered that the exam did contain many questions regarding the specific uses of ingredients. Even for his standards, it had not been an easy exam to do.

Most members of the group were already waiting by the time they arrived, and had claimed a corner of the library to hold a large study session.

'Thank goodness, there you are, Severus,' said Alice with a hopeful tone. 'I just stumbled on something that I don't quite understand. Something about Golpalott's—'

'—If it's Golpalott's Third Law, then Peter should be able to explain it to you,' said Severus as he sat down in an available seat.

'Oh really?' said Mary with a raised eyebrow. 'Well, I was kind of hoping you could—'

'—I can explain it to you!' said Peter happily as he overheard their conversation. 'Severus taught me a while back.'

Alice was still looking at Severus with pleading eyes as if to say she would still rather have him explain it than Peter, but Severus wasn't giving in. 'Just give him a chance,' he said soft enough so only Alice could hear.

Alice didn't look convinced, but gave in as soon as Peter shoved Frank aside so he could sit right beside her.

'Uhm…Severus Snape?' a timid voice called out from behind him. 'I got something for you.'

As Severus craned his neck, he saw a young shaky looking Hufflepuff girl carrying a neatly folded note in her hand. 'I was supposed to give you this,' she said, obviously feeling intimated by Severus's glare.

The girl sped off the moment Severus had taken the note from her hands. He had a suspicion from who the note had come from, and his suspicion was confirmed at the sight of the thin loopy handwriting. Dumbledore wanted to see him, and preferably as soon as possible.

'Well I'm sorry that I must cut this short,' said Severus as he stood up from the seat he had just sat down on. 'Dumbledore wishes to see me.'

'But what about our revision for Potions?' said Emma, looking panicked. 'We've got less than two days left before the exam.'

'Honestly, Severus,' said Sirius desperately, and was looking equally disappointed that Severus had to leave. 'We are not going to do well without your help.'

Severus pointed at a rather sour looking Lily. 'She is just as capable of explaining the subject as I am,' he said proudly. 'And like Emma said, there's still tomorrow.'

'I'll do it,' said Lily sharply, still glaring angrily at everyone who was sitting around the table, 'for I am just as capable, thank you very much!'

With a grin on his face Severus left the group to head for Dumbledore's office, and could hear a very determined Lily speaking out to the group before he made his way out of the library.

As always, Dumbledore greeted Severus with a freshly brewed pot of tea. The pensieve was already lying on the edge of his desk, and Severus had a suspicion that Dumbledore must have managed to win some information from professor Slughorn that was worth sharing.

'Good to see you here so quickly, Severus,' said Dumbledore as he poured them both a cup. 'Please, take a seat.'

Severus sat down in his usual chair and gladly took the cup of tea Dumbledore offered him.

'How have the exams been to you so far?' Dumbledore asked with a faint smile.

'Much easier than they were the first time around,' said Severus after he took a sip of his tea. 'But then again, I've always found solace in studying.'

'So I can expect to see at least ten "Outstandings" on your grade list by the time you are finished?' Dumbledore asked with an amused look on his face.

'Most of my grades were "Outstandings" in my first life,' said Severus, feeling a sliver of pride as he remembered how well he had done even then. 'I don't expect much to be different this time around.'

Dumbledore chuckled and shook his head. 'Some things in this world are truly remarkable, and you, Severus, are no exception to that.'

Severus didn't know how to answer that, and so instead his drained his tea at once. 'Did you manage to get a particular memory from professor Slughorn?' he asked.

'I did,' said Dumbledore with a gesture towards the pensieve. 'But there is another memory that I wish to show you before we dwell into professor Slughorn's mind.'

'Who's memory would that be?' Severus asked curiously.

'A memory taken from Morfin Gaunt, 'said Dumbledore gravely. 'A memory, from when Voldemort was already nearly a man. A memory I had nearly forgotten about until we agreed to meet again this summer to search for his ring. It matches with the memory that Slughorn has given me.'

'Do you think the ring may be somewhere else than the Gaunt's house?' Severus asked.

'It may be,' said Dumbledore as he took a small phial from the table and poured the content into the pensieve. 'Let's continue this discussion while we walk this this memory, shall we?'

Obediently, Severus bent over the pensieve and felt the familiar sensation of falling into nothingness into his feet landed on a dirty stone floor in almost complete darkness.

It took Severus a moment to recognise the place, but it was indeed the Gaunt's house; only now it was much more filthy than it had been in mister Ogden's memory.

The only source of light came from a single floating candle that was dancing near the feet of a man who's hair and beard were so overgrown Severus could not see his face, and wondered for a split moment whether he was dead.

A loud knock on the door jerked the man awake, and arose while holding his wand in his right hand hand while holding a small knife in the left. Severus noticed that Morfine Gaunt was still wearing the ring around a finger and wanted to point it out to Dumbledore, but the harsh creaking of the door prevented him from speaking.

Severus recognised the young man right away as the Dark Lord in his teenage years. For a few seconds the two men looked at each other, and then Gaunt staggered upright, causing many empty bottles at his feet to clatter and tinkle across the floor.

'YOU!' he bellowed. 'YOU!' and he hurtled drunkenly at the Dark Lord, wand and knife held aloft.

A short hissing sound followed, and Severus understood the Dark Lord had started to speak in Parseltongue.

Admittedly, Severus couldn't help but feel some admiration for the way the Dark Lord handled the situation with a complete lack of fear. Morfin Gaunt reminded his painfully of his own father, and he certainly had not been remotely as brave to stand up to a drunken man in a similar fashion.

'Do you understand what it is they are saying?' Severus asked as he turned to Dumbledore, who was watching the scene intensely.

'I think Voldemort is questioning mister Gaunt about where he could find a man named Marvolo,' said Dumbledore without taking his eyes off the scene. 'Marvolo, as you might know, is Voldemort's grandfather. I believe this day marks the day that he discovers his true heritage.'

'Did he ever find his father?' asked Severus.

'He did,' said Dumbledore somberly. 'That same day, a maid had found three bodies lying in the drawing room of the big house over the valley. The Riddle's house. The bodies were identified to be Tom Riddle Senior, and his mother and father.'

The argument between Morfine Gaunt and the Dark Lord was heating up. As Gaunt staggered, the Dark Lord moved forward, and an unnatural darkness fell as the candle was suddenly extinguished. Dumbledore took Severus by the shoulder and pulled him back up from the memory and soared back into the present. The golden light of his office dazzling Severus's eyes after all that impenetrable darkness.

'What happened?' asked Severus, confused by how the memory had suddenly turned black.

'Mister Gaunt did not remember anything from that point onwards,' said Dumbledore. 'When he awoke the next morning, he was lying on the floor, and found that his ring had been stolen.'

'So the ring is no longer inside the Gaunts house?' asked Severus, a bit perplexed at the sudden change of Dumbledore's plans.

'It may be,' said Dumbledore thoughtfully, 'but since we know Voldemort is attracted to things that are valuable, chances are much more likely that he had hidden it inside the Riddle's house instead. You see, after mister Gaunt's death in Azkaban, the dirty house he owned could have been broken into and raided many times by now, but the Riddle's house, not so much.'

'Why the ring?' Severus asked suddenly. 'Why focus so much on the ring when we know there are also a locket and a cup involved?'

Dumbledore twirled his elder wand between his fingers, and looked at it with a foreign admiration. 'Let's just say that the ring is the best lead we have. If we manage to pick up that lead, perhaps more paths will open for us to follow.'

Severus eyed the wand Dumbledore was admiring with suspicion. There was something about it that was very off-putting, and he had a feeling that he had seen it before.

It was then, that a cold shiver started to run down his spine. Even the warm glow of Dumbledore's office could not keep Severus from feeling as if he had suddenly slipped underneath the ice of a frozen lake. Drowning, without any hope being able to rise back up to the surface.

' _The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot truly be mine.'_

Dumbledore was holding on to the very wand that the Dark Lord had killed him for. The Elder Wand, as the Dark Lord had said repeatedly, whatever that was supposed to mean.

'Is everything alright, Severus?' Dumbledore asked as he took notice of Severus's sudden change of state.

'How did you get that wand?' said Severus faintly, as if he spoke with a voice that was not his own, and eyed the wand with a mixture of fear and loathing.

'This wand?' said Dumbledore as he held up the Elder Wand casually up in the air. 'Now this particular wand I won after my somewhat famous duel with Gellert Grindelwald.'

'You won it?' asked Severus, still sounding as faintly as before. 'What exactly is it that's so remarkable about that wand?'

'Well, the wand is made of elder wood,' said Dumbledore. 'Not to be confused with alder. The elder tree according to Celtic tradition is also known as the fairy tree. Home to both fairies and demons.'

'Quite an uncommon type of wood for a wand,' Severus pointed out, still looking at the wand with bitter suspicion. 'What is its core made of?'

'It's core may just be more fascinating than the wood type,' said Dumbledore with a sly smile. 'The core is something that can only be handled by a witch or wizard who is capable of accepting death, since only by such it can be seen. I suppose you know what that is, Severus. The very same creature has been following you during our walks in the Forbidden Forest.'

'The hair of a Thestral,' Severus mumbled to himself.

It was in that moment that Severus made a connection he had not been able to make before. The Dark Lord had not been after the unicorns after all. He had been after the thestrals.


	127. The Memory of Horace Slughorn

Carefully Dumbledore placed his elder wand on the edge of the desk. 'Are you having a panic attack, Severus?' he asked calmly.

'I'm not sure,' said Severus between heavy breaths, attempting to steady himself the way that professor Slughorn had taught him.

From the shelves, Dumbledore collected a small phial that Severus recognised as a Calming Draught right away. Adding a few drops to a freshly poured cup of tea, Dumbledore handed it over to Severus, who gladly took it.

After a few carefully calculated sips, Severus felt himself relax a little. More physically than mentally, but it was enough for him to steady his breath and lose the fear of falling into panic entirely.

'I assume you have seen this wand before?' Dumbledore asked with a gesture towards the elder wand.

'It's the wand that killed me,' said Severus with a hint of bitterness. 'Indirectly, but still, that wand is the very reason I died.'

A rare sort of fear struck in Dumbledore's eyes. 'Was I the one who—'

'—no,' Severus cut him off. 'No, you didn't kill me. It was the Dark Lord who did. It was I who killed you.'

Dumbledore did not seem troubled by this revelation in the slightest, but was looking rather amused by the turn of events. 'Is there any particular reason why you had to kill me?' he asked curiously.

Severus stood up from the desk and started pacing around the room. 'Because you asked me to,' he said sharply.

'Was it because old age was finally catching up with me?' Dumbledore asked as his eyes followed Severus around the room, 'or it is because I had lost my sanity one way or another?'

'I suppose you could say that,' Severus growled. 'The ring,' he said with a gesture towards the pensieve. 'The ring is the reason why I warned you a while ago that if you went looking for it, and managed to find it, _not_ to put it on at all costs. You were cursed, Albus. Cursed with some very dark magic that I was able to keep from spreading for a while, but couldn't heal.'

'And so you killed me in an act of mercy,' said Dumbledore with a smile. 'That must have been a heavy burden, for me to request something so difficult for you to do.'

'It was,' said Severus softly, 'but I accepted to do it nonetheless. A student of mine at the time was supposed to be the one to do it. He was on his way to become a Death Eater. He was supposed to kill you as a test to show the Dark Lord that he was truly loyal to the cause.'

A faint chuckle left Dumbledore's lips. 'You were a teacher here at Hogwarts, Severus?'

'Yes,' said Severus stiffly. 'You offered me protection from the Dark Lord by offering me a job here as a potion's master.'

Dumbledore was looking more amused by the minute. 'I must admit, you never struck me as the teaching type.'

'Thank you, 'said Severus, somewhat glad that at least someone was able to see that fulfilling the teaching job wasn't his cup of tea. 'But the wand, I am starting to see a connection.'

Dumbledore patiently kept following Severus around the room, who had started to massage his temples in order to think.

'You mentioned that the elder wand's loyalty lies with the one who wins it, right?' Severus asked.

'Indeed it is,' Dumbledore confirmed.

'Does the opponent need to die in order for the wand's loyalty to change?' asked Severus, his mind racing is it started to connect more dots.

'It does not,' said Dumbledore, 'and the reason why I know this is because I defeated Grindelwald, but I never killed him. Till this day he is still biding his time at Nurmengard.'

The radars inside Severus's mind suddenly started to click and he stopped pacing around the room. A grin started to form on his face, and entirely involuntarily, he started laughing.

'This is brilliant,' said Severus excitedly. 'This is absolutely brilliant.'

'What is it that's so brilliant, Severus,' Dumbledore asked.

'The student at the time who was meant to kill you was unable to,' Severus rattled off. 'He did however, manage to disarm you. It was in that moment that the student became the new master of the Elder Wand, but the Dark Lord never realised this. He believed that, since I was the one to kill you, I was the wand's new master, but I never was. The Dark Lord killed me in vain.'

It was in this moment, that Severus came to the understanding that when he passed on his memories to Lily's son, there may be a faint possibility that he had survived after all. If the Dark Lord had indeed wielded the Elder Wand at her son, the wand may not have worked. Perhaps the curse had even rebounded…

'But this is tragic, Severus,' said Dumbledore with concern, 'to have died without reason.'

Severus shook his head. 'It doesn't matter why I died. What matters is that it makes all the difference in the world. If the Elder Wand didn't work for the Dark Lord, the wizarding world may have been saved after all…'

Severus sat back down, feeling much more determined than before. 'Keep that wand safe,' he said with a nod in the elder wand's direction, 'no matter what.'

'I will,' said Dumbledore. 'Aside from the elder wand however, are you still willing to see the memory that professor Slughorn has given me?'

'I do,' said Severus, already looking at the pensieve.

From the inside of his pocket, Dumbledore took pulled out a crystal phial and emptied the content into the pensieve. The memory proved difficult to empty into the pensieve, and Severus got the feeling that the memory may have been tampered with.

With a plunge, Severus dived straight into the memory, falling down until his feet landed right in front of a much younger looking Slughorn.

It was slightly disconcerting to see Slughorn with a head full of thick, shiny, straw-coloured hair, and with a moustache to match with it.

Slughorn's feet were resting upon a velvet pouffe, and he was sitting well back in a comfortable winged armchair, one hand grasping a small glass of wine, the other searching through a box of crystallised pineapple.

Severus and Dumbledore had landed in Slughorn's office, surrounded by a dozen boys, all in their mid-teens.

Riddle was easy to recognise among the boys, as he was the most handsome and most relaxed looking out of the group. Riddle's right hand was resting upon the arm of his chair, and was already wearing the gold and black ring that had once belonged to Marvolo. Severus understood that at this point, he had already killed his family.

'Sir, is it true that professor Merrythought is retiring?' Riddle asked.

'Tom, Tom, if I knew I couldn't tell you,' said Slughorn, ruining the effect slightly by winking. 'I must say, I'd like to know where you get your information, boy; more knowledgeable than half the staff, you are.'

Riddle smiled; the other boys laughed and cast him admiring looks.

'What with your uncanny ability to know things you shouldn't, and your careful flattery of the people who matter—thank you for the pineapple, by the way, you're quite right, it is my favourite—'

As several of the boys tittered, something very odd happened. The whole room was suddenly filled with a thick white fog, so that Severus could only see the face of Dumbledore who was standing beside him.

'So Slughorn did temper with the memory,' said Severus to confirm his own suspicion.

Suddenly Slughorn's voice rang out through the mist, unnaturally loudly: '— _you'll go wrong, boy, mark my words.'_

As quick as the fog had come, it cleared again. 'Good gracious, is it that time already?' said Slughorn. 'You'd better get going, boys, or we'll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it's detention. Same goes for you, Avery.'

Slughorn stood up from his chair and carried his empty wine glass over to his desk and the boys filed out. Riddle however, stayed behind.

'Look sharp, Tom,' said Slughorn. 'You don't want to be caught out of bed out of hours, and you a prefect…'

'Sir, I wanted to ask you something,' said Riddle, ignoring Slughorn's request for him to leave.

'Ask away, then, m'boy, ask away…'

'Sir, I wondered what you know about…about Horcruxes?'

The fog returned, and then Slughorn's voice boomed out again like it had done a moment ago. _'I don't know anything about Horcruxes and I wouldn't tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once and don't let me catch you mentioning them again!'_

'That would be all,' said Dumbledore serenely. Seconds later Severus found himself falling back onto the rug in front of Dumbledore's desk.

'As you noticed,' said Dumbledore as he sat down again behind his desk, 'is that the memory has indeed been tampered with.'

'What are Horcuxes?' Severus asked. 'I heard him mention Horcuxes so it must be something of importance.'

'If I knew I would not consider this memory as important as I do,' said Dumbledore as he scooped up the memory back into its phial. 'It's obvious that professor Slughorn is ashamed of what he has told Riddle at the time. What exactly he had told Riddle at the time, however, makes all the difference.'

'Is there any way for us to find out what a Horcrux is without Slughorn's help though?' Severus asked. 'If we do, way may no longer have to pester him about it.'

'Whatever a Horcrux is, Severus,' said Dumbledore sadly, 'I highly doubt it's something we could find out by simply searching through some books in the forbidden section of the library. It is dark. Much darker than what most of us can wrap our minds around.'

'Is there any way we could possibly convince professor Slughorn to give us the real memory?' Severus asked. 'Surely he must understand that the truth about Horcruxes is more important than his pride?'

'Shame is a very powerful emotion, Severus,' said Dumbledore. 'He will try to hide what he has told Riddle at the time no matter what the truth might lead to.'

'But what if we use legilimency on him?' Severus suggested. 'Or Veritaserum? There has to be a way to get the truth out of him somehow.'

'Don't forget that professor Slughorn is an extremely able wizard who will be expecting both,' said Dumbledore. 'He is just as accomplished in Occlumency as you and I, and I would be astonished if he has not carried an antidote to Veritaserum with him ever since I coerced him into giving me this travesty of a recollection. I personally think it would be foolish to attempt to gain the truth by force from him as it might do more harm than good. I don't wish for him to leave Hogwarts after all.'

'Then how—'

'—The how, is something that I want you to find out for me,' Dumbledore interrupted. 'Professor Slughorn has his weaknesses, just like the rest of us. I believe you may be the one person who might be able to penetrate his defenses.'

Somehow Severus highly doubted that, but he knew better than to argue with something that Dumbledore is requesting him to do. 'I'll see what I can do,' he said unconvincingly.

'Then I wish you good luck with the remainder of your exams,' Dumbledore said suddenly, 'and a good day.'

A little taken aback by the abrupt dismissal, Severus quickly got to his feet. 'Good day, sir.'

Severus briefly patted Fawkes before closing the door behind him, his mind swirling with thoughts related to Horcuxes and the Elder Wand. For now, all he wanted was to make his way back to Lily.

Lily, along with the rest of the Young Order, were still in the library as expected. 'There you are, Sev!' she said happily once she noticed him approach the group. 'Looks like everyone here finally got the hang of Golpalott's Third Law.'

Without a moment of hesitation, Severus sat down right next to Lily and flung his arms around her waist, taking in her musky scent as he buried his face in her hair. There was a strange comfort in knowing that her son, along with the rest of the wizarding world, may have survived after all.


	128. The Mirror of Erised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N prepare yourself for some smut.

Any thought related to Horcruxes and the elder wand was pushed back into Severus's mind the moment the exams continued. He had locked himself up inside the lab during the potions exam that was held on Monday, and used that time to revise a few things for Care of Magical Creatures. It was the only subject that he hadn't followed during his first life, after all.

The exam for Care of Magical Creatures turned out to be mostly practical. They had to identify Knarls that were hidden among hedgehogs; demonstrate the correct handling of a Bowtruckle and choose from a wide selection of food you would give to a sickly unicorn. They also had to draw a Porlock from memory. Not that Severus was unable to envision a Porlock again from when they were introduced to them, but this time Lily wasn't there to save him from his atrocious artistic skills. Perhaps he would end up with a grade list that weren't completely straight O's after all.

By Wednesday their music exam had to be the most fun yet, as all they had to do was show that they had improved from the beginning of the year and were able to work together as a band. That same evening they had to fill in a blank star-chart for Astronomy, and identify all of Jupiter's moons. History of Magic marked the last day of their exams. Severus had penned up several pages related to the wand legislation, Goblin riots in the eighteenth century and the Statute of Secrecy. More than enough to receive a guaranteed "Outstanding" on his grade list.

The atmosphere in the castle had significantly changed the moment all fifth and seventh-year students hurried their way out of the Great Hall. Aside from Regulus, the entire Young Order had made their way out to the grounds, and sat down in the shade of a tree near the lake.

'Done!' said Sirius excitedly as he spread himself out on the grass. 'Completely done! Now all we got is the end of the year feast tomorrow, and after that I finally get to pack my belongings and move in with the Potters.'

'This summer is going to be a blast!' said Potter in agreement. 'Going to the seaside, playing quidditch in the garden, hanging around Diagon Alley…'

'You all should come to Diagon Alley,' said Frank. 'It's where mum has her shop. Evan and I will be working there most of the summer so we might as well meet up there one of these days.'

'I'd love that,' said Mary. 'Reggie and I were already planning on meeting up there since he lives in London. We should all have a get-together and think about everything we want to do with the Young Order for next year.'

'What about that Patronus charm?' Sirius suggested. 'I remember Severus mentioning it once. Is it useful?'

'That's something I could ask mum and dad to teach me over the summer,' said Frank. 'It's very advanced magic though; and quite complicated.'

'What exactly is a Patronus charm?' asked Lily. 'I think I've heard about it before, but I'm not sure what it does.'

It was Severus who answered. 'The Patronus charm is a positive force,' he explained. 'It is a very complicated bit of magic that channels our happy memories and turns into a shield, or a fully formed spirit guardian if done properly.'

'Sounds neat,' said Evan. 'But what do you mean by spirit guardian, and what does it protect against?'

'By spirit guardian I mean that a full corporeal Patronus usually takes the form of an animal,' Severus said as he turned to Evan. 'It is meant to protect you from creatures that feed on happy memories, such as dementors and lethifolds.'

'Sounds like a rather useful spell then,' said Evan. 'Any chance you could have it down by the end of the summer Frank?'

'Well, as Severus said,' said Frank with a shrug, 'it is a very complicated bit of magic, but I'll see what I can do.'

The prospect of Frank learning how to perform the Patronus charm for everyone to learn put Severus a bit more at ease. If Hogwarts was indeed going to be put under higher security by the start of the new school year, dementors were bound to be used as guards on ministry's orders. The current Minister for Magic had, after all, secured Azkaban even further by using more dementors. It wouldn't come as a surprise if minister Minchum planned on doing the same for Hogwarts.

Eventually accompanied by Regulus, the Young Order spent the remainder of their afternoon on the grounds. They had even made a quick trip to Hagrid for a chat, as they probably wouldn't be able to by the time they would board the train home.

Lily, being in an extremely giddy mood since the moment she had walked out of the Great Hall, had been growing rather handsy with Severus. A thing he did not feel like protesting against in the slightest, and enjoyed the many sweet kisses she had been planting all over him throughout the day.

After dinner, Lily had taken Severus by the hand and dragged him away from the group, only to end up snogging him senseless in an abandoned corner of the dungeons.

Sure enough that no one was watching, Severus had placed his hands underneath her shirt and started to caress his way up until he found her breasts and started to tease her nipples between his fingers.

Lily seemed to like it, as she started to grow weaker in the knees and let out a stifled moan. 'I want you, Sev,' she whispered into his ear, causing him to lean in closer and push her up against the wall.

'Looks like you want me to,' said Lily seductively, and as she bit her lip Severus felt his trousers grow awfully tight. 'Do you want to take this to the lab?'

A heavy debate sparked inside Severus's mind. The warmth that came from her breasts as he held them in his hands was too good to let go of. Softly he brushed his lips down her neck, wondering if any of this foreplay was going to lead up to something more. 'Is it wise to be doing this?' he asked.

'Only if you want to,' said Lily, and Severus could sense that she was expecting to be disappointed once again.

The faint throbbing in his trousers was starting to become overwhelming. The two voices in his head had started to scream at each other. On one hand he wanted to give in to the lust and please her in every way possible, but on the other hand he was making up dozens of little excuses as to why having sex would be a terrible idea.

Drawing in Lily's musky scent as she exposed her neck, the desire to taste more of her had started to win the internal war. With another quick glance to make sure that no one was around, he lifted her shirt up and pushed her bra out of the way, exposing a hard pink nipple in the cold air of the dungeons.

Surprised by his own daring, Severus lowered his head and placed his lips around the cold nipple, gently flicking against it with his tongue. Lily threw her head back, let out a much more distinct groan than the one before, and fisted his hair as if to say that she didn't want him to stop. It was then that lust had won from reason.

Severus let her shirt fall down and took her by the hand to lead her to the lab. If they were indeed going to do this, than rather in a place where it's comfortable and warm, and somewhere where he was certain they could not be suddenly interrupted.

'Do you have the key?' asked Severus as he fumbled around in his pockets. 'I don't seem to have it.'

Lily quickly started to pat her robes in search of the key. 'I don't think I have it either, Sev,' she said with a look of shock on her face. 'Are you absolutely sure you don't have it?'

Severus looked up at the door, and all excitement from the moment before had been instantly replaced by a harsh fear. 'Lily, neither of us are inside,' he said with a lump in his throat. 'The door is not supposed to reveal itself without the key.'

Both fearing the worst, Lily gave a gentle push against the door, and revealed itself to be open.

'No,' said Lily with a dry sob. 'NO IT CAN'T BE!'

The lab, once so neatly organised, was lying in ruins. The few cauldrons that were still in use were all kicked over and emptied. The books that had been stacked along the shelves had been dumped inside the fireplace, leaving nothing but traces of floating ashes around the room. Hundreds of potion phials were lying broken and scattered on the ground, shimmering like diamonds in the pale light of the lake.

'No,' Lily repeated with a trembling voice, hurried her way towards the shelves, and got down on the floor. 'My Felix…'

Severus could still see some of the covers from the books that had been burned lying inside the fireplace. Those were all of his schoolbooks. His mother's books, and someone's filthy hands had taken the liberty to destroy the few things he still held dear.

Severus's hands had started to shake from the anger that was rising up inside of him, but he knew that getting angry wasn't going to make a difference to this violent situation.

'It's all gone,' Lily cried from behind the desk. 'My Felix…all of it…I SHOULD HAVE PUT AN UNBREAKABLE CHARM ON IT!'

Lily's sudden outburst caused Severus to snap out of his angered state, and kneeled down on the floor beside her.

With a tear-streaked face, Lily was feeling around on the floor in a desperate attempt at finding any phial that may not have been broken. 'Months of hard work… _months…who would do such a thing…'_

With both his hands, Severus stopped her from feeling around on the floor. 'Careful,' he said as calmly as he could, 'everything is covered in glass.'

Lily didn't seem to care and continued to search the floor, small cuts already causing blood to drip from the tips of her fingers.

With more force, Severus grabbed Lily by the waist, pulled her back on her feet and wrapped his arms around her into a tight embrace. The moment he did, Lily let it all out and started sobbing loudly against his chest.

For a moment Severus just held her. Not only to calm her down, but himself as well. He had an idea who was behind all this…

On the shelves behind Lily, a faint shimmer of gold suddenly caught his eye. The box that Lily had once given to him as a gift was still standing there, as if it was deemed to unimportant to be destroyed. Right up against it, on the very outer edge of the shelf, was one of the phials Lily had stored her Felix Felicis.

Afraid that the phial might suddenly still slip and fall, Severus pushed Lily aside and snatched it from the shelf. He pulled out his wand, and quickly casted an Unbreakable Charm on it to ensure nothing could happen to it. 'One phial has survived,' he said as he presented it to Lily.

'Oh thank goodness,' said Lily, smiling through her sobs as she took the phial from his hands. 'One left…there is actually one left.'

'Lets try to find anything else that may have survived,' Severus suggested. 'If you find anything, put in the box you gave me.'

Lily nodded in understanding, wiped away the remainder of her tears and placed the last remaining phial of Felix inside the box.

Although his hopes were very slim, the first thing Severus looked into was to see if any of the books may have survived the fire while Lily started to pick up some remaining phials that were scattered across the floor.

All of his potion books were gone. The very little that he had inherited from his mother had entirely gone up in smoke. A wave of sadness started to wash over him when he turned the black pages over with the fireplace poker. He wanted to turn around to talk to Lily about it, but stopped himself midway, and his heart that had been racing from anger had suddenly skipped a beat.

He hadn't noticed it before, because it was no longer there. A faint sliver of hope went immediately down the drain at the prospect that it may have been burned as well was erased entirely with the rationalisation that it meant the frame still had to be around somewhere. The family portrait that Petunia had painted for him over Christmas was gone. It was stolen, and bound to end up in the wrong hands, putting his entire family in danger.

'Lily,' Severus said faintly. 'Do you think you found everything of importance?'

'I think so,' said Lily as she carried the box around in her hands. 'Something wrong?'

'We need to leave…now,' said Severus, and dragged Lily by her sleeve straight out of the lab and shut the door behind him. As if it was the room's way of saying they were no longer welcome, the lock clicked, and the door melted back into the wall.

'What's going on?' asked Lily, confused by Severus's sudden change of mind.

Without uttering a word, Severus dragged Lily with him out of the dungeons and started to make his way towards the Grand Staircase. 'We need to hide that box for now,' he said, panting from running up the many flights of stairs. 'The Room of Requirement will do. I'll explain when we're inside.'

Three times Severus walked along the wall of the Room of Requirement, muttering "I need a place to hide my potions", until the doors revealed themselves.

Hastily Lily and Severus made their way inside, causing Lily to take a step back when she saw that the room was entirely different than how it was during the meetings with the Young Order. 'Woah,' she said, 'this place is massive.'

Rows upon rows of old belongings were piled upon each other, creating an enormous maze inside a room that had once appeared to be much smaller.

'We'll have to hide it here somewhere,' said Severus as he took the box from Lily's hands. 'Let me handle it.'

As Severus went out in search of a place to hide the box, Lily wandered off, getting distracted by all the strange objects she was surrounded with.

Memorising the amount of left and right turns he was taking, Severus eventually stumbled upon an object that he had not seen in a very long time.

For a moment he was mesmerized by it, in the same way he had been when he had come across it the first time around.

'Lily,' Severus called out. 'Lily are you out there somewhere?'

'Over here,' said Lily in the distance. 'I found something neat.'

'So did I,' said Severus. 'Could you come over here please?'

Lily didn't answer, and so Severus put the box down on the floor in order to retrieve her. Showing her the Mirror of Erised wasn't something that he wanted to pass on. Not now that he suddenly had the chance to stand it front of it with her.

'There you are,' he said, and looked down at Lily's hands. 'What are you holding?'

'Found a pretty diadem,' said Lily as she looked at the diadem in admiration. 'Pretty neat, don't you think.'

Lily was already close to putting it on her head before Severus suddenly snatched it from her hands. 'You don't know where this has been,' he said as he put the diadem on top of the bust of some old ugly warlock. 'Could be dangerous.'

Lily's lips grew thin at Severus's comment. 'You're probably right,' she said admittedly. 'Not that big on jewelry anyway. Still a pretty thing though.'

'I got something much more exciting to show you,' said Severus as he took her by the hand. 'You'll love it. I guarantee it.'

Severus traced his steps back until he saw the mirror again. 'Here it is,' he said with a gesture towards the mirror.

Lily eyed the mirror with suspicion. 'What's so special about it?' she asked.

'There's a quote etched into the frame,' said Severus as he pointed at the dusty words. 'Can you figure it out?'

'Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi,' Lily read with great difficulty. 'Is that supposed to be some ancient language or something?'

'It isn't,' Severus said with a grin. 'Just try to figure it out.'

Lily kept staring at the strange words, but after a while she shrugged and gave in. 'No clue,' she said. 'You're the puzzle master here.'

'The answer is right in front of you,' said Severus. 'The words are mirrored because it's a mirror.'

A couple more times Lily's eyes ran over the words, this time reading them from right to left. 'Oh I get it,' she said suddenly. 'Ishow…no..tyo…urfac…ebu…tyo…urhe..aets…desire. _I show not your face but your heart's true desire._ What is that supposed to mean?'

Severus had found the mirror inside an abandoned classroom during that year in which the teachers were requested to protect the Philosopher Stone. It had been Dumbledore's project to secure the stone inside the mirror, although he wasn't sure how the old man had exactly managed to do it.

It was Lily he had seen standing beside him, looking just as alive as she was at this very moment. It had been quite a painful blow to find that the mirror had suddenly been taken out of the abandoned classroom. He had wasted so many of his nights in front of it, wishing that the reflection in the mirror had been real.

'What do you see?' Severus asked as he positioned her properly in front of the mirror.

'Well, us,' said Lily skeptically. 'Kind of obvious since we're the ones standing in front of it.'

'Just us?' Severus asked, feeling himself grow hopeful.

Lily's look of skepticism suddenly turned into a look of astonishment. 'Woah Sev,' she mumbled. 'How is that…can you see what I see?'

'I don't think so,' said Severus. 'Care to share?'

The corners of her mouth started to form into a smile, and then her face turned red. 'Not before you tell me what you see.'

'Just us,' he said. 'Us growing older, actually.'

The moment he said it, he knew it was a lie. He did see them together, but it was still the perfect reflection of how they were standing.

Lily's smile fell from her face. 'If this is supposed to show your heart's true desire,' she said as she looked down at the floor, 'then I'd rather not share it with you just yet.'

Somewhat bummed by Lily's sudden change of mood, Severus gave in. 'Whenever you're ready,' he said.

'Can we go?' asked Lily. 'I mean, our lab just got broken into and you suddenly dragged me out here to hide our potions. I prefer to deal with that right now than some strange fortune telling mirror.'

Severus felt like arguing that it wasn't a fortune-telling mirror, but Lily was right. The situation they were in was far more important to deal with than looking at a magical mirror.

When Lily walked out of the frame, Severus took one last glance before he picked up the box to hide it behind the mirror. Shocked, that it was no longer Lily who was standing there. Instead, he saw his mother standing right behind him with a hand covering his shoulder, smiling at him.

When Lily had died, his deepest desire had become to see her alive again, but that wish was granted when he had chosen to come back to life. His mother however, he had failed not only the first time, but also the second time around, and wished for nothing more to see her alive and smiling again like she was now in the mirror's reflection.

In this moment, Severus came to the understanding that no matter how many lives you get to live, there will always be something left to desire.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N If I can believe the HP wiki, Dumbledore had taken out the Mirror or Erised from the Room of Requirement to use it to protect the Philosopher Stone, meaning that when he talked to Igor Karkaroff about finding a sudden room filled with chamber pots he was basically telling a lie so Harry would be able to overhear him.


	129. The Exposure of Remus Lupin I

'Six months of work down the drain… _six months…expensive ingredients…'_

Lily and Severus had taken refugee on top of the Astronomy tower. No longer having a lab where they could speak in private, it felt like the next best place to go without having to fear being interrupted. Lily had been consistently pacing around in circles, muttering angrily to herself about having lost nearly her entire supply of Felix Felicis.

So far, Severus had not any luck mentioning that Petunia's portrait had been stolen. He had sat down on the floor in the middle of the tower, following Lily with his eyes as she messed her hair up in frustration.

' _All those months of hard work...and the lab…who the HELL broke into our lab!'_

'My best bet would me Mulciber,' said Severus calmly. 'Avery was probably in on it as well.'

'If I find them I will _smack them,'_ said Lily as she jammed her fist into her other hand. ' _I will tear them up…I will…_ ' Lily let out a loud frustrated groan and sat down beside Severus, looking defeated. 'How did they even manage to get their hands on our key?'

'Avery could have easily taken it when I was asleep,' said Severus. 'There's nothing to blame other than my own carelessness.'

'What do we do now?' said Lily with a hint of sadness. 'You think professor Slughorn could give us a new lab next school year?'

'We can worry about that later,' said Severus. 'Lily, there's something—'

Lily cut him off. '—that mirror is still bothering me,' she said. 'Such quaint magic, peculiar too.'

'I just thought it was interesting,' said Severus, now somewhat regretting that he had taken her to the mirror. 'You still don't want to tell me what it is you saw?'

Lily shrugged. 'Do you think it shows the future as well?'

'I don't think so,' said Severus.

'That's disappointing,' said Lily, 'I liked what I saw.'

Severus looked her straight in the eye. 'Are you ever going to tell me what it is you saw, or are you deliberately keeping me in the dark?'

'Why do I have the feeling you didn't tell me the truth when we were out there?' said lily skeptically. 'I saw you standing there, and I don't think you were looking at us.'

'What makes you say that?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow. Once again, Lily was proving that she had the uncanny ability to see right through him.

'Because you looked sad,' she said. 'I highly doubt if you saw us grow old together you'd be looking sad.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus. 'I'll admit, I haven't been entirely honest with you.'

'I'll tell you if you tell me,' said Lily with twinkling eyes, and Severus couldn't help but give in to that.

'I saw mum,' he said, and a faint smile appeared on his face at the memory of it. 'Alive and happy, just how I've always wanted her to be.'

'I'm sorry to hear that Sev,' said Lily as she tucked some of his hair behind his ear. 'It must've been difficult to see her standing there like that.'

'It was,' he said bitterly. 'The few books I have left from her have been burnt. Now all I got left are a few photo albums and a broken wand.'

'I don't think there's anything I can say to make you feel better,' said Lily. 'But she loved you very much, that's something that you have from her as well.'

'At least I got to tell her that I loved her before she died,' said Severus, remembering that he had told her that when she had taken him to King's Cross before he went off to search for Lily.

'I'm glad to hear that,' said Lily. 'Do you still want to know what it is that I saw in the mirror?'

Severus nodded. 'It seemed to embarrass you, so yes, I'm curious.'

Lily's cheeks were flushing in a fine shade of red again. 'Sorry I didn't want to tell you before,' she said softly.

'How come?' Severus asked.

'Well,' said Lily, and looked up in order to think of the right words to say, 'because you said you only saw us growing older, and that bummed me out a bit.'

'I think I know what it is you saw,' said Severus with a smile. 'Can I take a guess?'

'Okay,' said Lily as she mimicked his smile. 'You take a guess.'

'I think you saw us having our own family,' said Severus. 'Or am I wrong?'

Lily shook her head. 'No, you're right,' she said as she started fumbling with the sleeves of her robes. 'Thing is, I saw them in the mirror, not their faces but…I know that you don't like the idea of having a family in the way that I do.'

'Them?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow. 'As in, more than one?'

'Well yeah,' Lily said matter-of-factly. 'Or did you really believe that I was going to settle for just one?'

The idea of having a family the size of the Weasley clan was starting to make him feel sick to his stomach. 'More than one?' he mumbled. 'We'd never have a peaceful moment left.'

'You sound like an old man, Sev,' said Lily as she playfully slapped him against his arm.

'What if I secretly am an old man?' said Severus sarcastically. 'An old man who likes his peace and quiet.'

'If that's the case then you've always been an old man in a young man's body,' said Lily playfully.

'You have no idea,' said Severus, and gave her a kiss on her forehead. 'But as we said before, a family is something we can think about and consider having in another decade.'

Lily's cheeks were starting to flush red again. 'Can't believe we almost had… _sex_ ,' she said with a snort. 'Everything was going so well until we went to the lab.'

'Yeah, about that…' said Severus as he looked down at the floor. 'I'm not so sure if…what if…'

'Could you perhaps explain to me what it is you're so conflicted about?' asked Lily. 'I can completely understand the situation regarding your mother, but it's as if you have your own internal battle about it as well.'

If they were going to be truthful to each other, Severus figured he might as well be truthful about this too. He looked up, searching for the right words to say. 'I have a hard time associating sex as an act of love, rather than an act of lust,' he said eventually. 'And the problem with that is that I don't want it to be _just_ lust.'

'And what makes you think that being intimate with me is nothing more than lust?' asked Lily.

'It isn't, that's the conflict,' said Severus. 'I mean, look at you. How can I not want to make love to that?'

Lily started to giggle at his comment. 'You did seem to want to when we were down in the dungeons.'

'I did,' Severus admitted. 'I did…still do. It's just a battle with myself that I need to conquer.'

A silence fell, and a cool breeze came passing through the Astronomy tower. For a while they just sat there, huddled up against each other.

'Was there anything else you wanted to confess?' Lily asked suddenly. 'I thought there was something you wanted to say.'

So far, Severus had not mentioned that Petunia's portrait was taken, and coming to think of it, perhaps it would be better if he didn't. Lily was in too good of a mood, and with the prospect of the end of the year feast that was held tomorrow he didn't want her to worry about anything just yet. He concluded that it would be wiser to warn Erwin about it first. 'It's true what I said; secretly I am an old man.'

'Oh shut up, Sev,' said Lily as she poked him in the ribs. 'Just because you're three weeks older than me doesn't mean you need to act like you got a stick up your arse.'

'Oh bite me,' Severus teased as he got a hold on the side of her knee and squeezed.

With a jolt Lily sat straight up. 'Careful now,' she laughed. 'Or I might actually start to bite.'

…

As Severus had predicted, the next day there was no sign of either Mulciber or Avery. Both must have decided that it was time to leave school as soon as the exams were over.

What was peculiar however, was that there was no sign of professor Slughorn either. The door to his office had been locked and had remained so when Severus and Lily wanted to notify him that their lab had been broken into. There was no trace of him either during the day, and finally Severus stepped up his game and asked professor McGonagall where he might be, only to be told that Slughorn had decided to go home early.

The entire castle was celebrating its last day of the school year. For lunch, the Young Order was sitting around the Gryffindor table for the last time, since by tradition they were required to sit with their own houses for the end of the year feast.

'I am so done.'

'I am so _fucking done!'_

'Woah there Moony,' said Sirius as he looked wide-eyed at his friend. 'Never expected to see swearwords rolling out of your mouth.'

'How would you feel if you keep hearing people whispering behind your back?' snapped Remus. 'I'm going to do it…I swear I will.'

'What? Exposing your secret?' asked Severus. 'Are you sure you want to do this right before the end-of-year feast?'

'I have grown so far past beyond the point of caring,' Remus growled, his hands shaking out of sheer frustration. 'All the time it's "D'you believe he's a werewolf? You think he's dangerous? Those scars must have something to do with it. Blah blah." I'm just ready to throw it out there, and anyone is free to take that however they want.'

'Won't that put Dumbledore in a bad position though?' asked Mary. 'I mean, I get that it's frustrating but it's because of him you can attend Hogwarts to begin with.'

'Things should be different now that the Wolfsbane Potion is on the market,' said Remus, not sounding all too reassured. 'There will be plenty of people who won't like seeing me walking around the castle, but on the other hand there will be plenty of people who won't make a big deal out of it. It's a big lose-or-win situation.'

'Remus,' Lily said carefully, 'just for realism's sake, but have you thought about what will happen to you if too many people would rather see you leave the castle?'

'I've spoken to Catriona about that,' said Remus. 'If I can no longer attend Hogwarts I will at least have my OWLs, and I can work for a brand new organisation for the welfare of, well, _my kind._ The situation may seem hopeless, but I'm not without hope.'

'How do you plan on doing it?' asked Frank. 'Are you just going to stand on the table and yell it at everyone or something?'

Remus shook his head. 'As much as I'd like to do that instead, I actually spoke with headmaster Dumbledore that I will speak in front of the whole school after his end-of-year briefing.'

'Well Moony,' said Potter with a pat on Remus's back, 'even if the whole school suddenly turns against you, just remember that Frank has taught us plenty of hexes over the past year that we are ready to throw at anyone who says you don't belong.'


	130. The Exposure of Remus Lupin II

'Looks like none of us won the house cup this year,' said Frank as the group made its way inside the Great Hall.

The Hall was decked out in the Ravenclaw colours of blue and bronze, and the students at the Ravenclaw table were seemingly more cheerful than the rest.

'Good,' said Regulus, 'now we can all be sad together once we take the train home.'

Severus didn't have a recollection of Ravenclaw being the winners of the house cup this particular year. Not that it mattered much. He had never really cared about it until it became one of his and professor McGonagall's longstanding bets, making the whole house cup rivalry a bit more of a tolerable happening. He recalled once winning the Slytherin house cup six years in a row. Almost seven…until Lily's son, along with his Weasley friend and bushy haired sidekick, came into play.

'Sev,' said Lily as she turned to him. 'I already sent Leo out so mum and dad know when to pick us up.'

'I can't wait to go home,' said Severus longingly. 'Then I can finally get a motorbike, and then I can take you out for trips to the countryside…or the beach…'

'Looks like someone's got his summer all planned out,' said Lily, trying to suppress a smirk, 'or did you forget that mum is probably going to ground us the moment we set foot over the threshold?'

'You honestly believe that Arnica can keep us inside the house for the entire summer?' asked Severus.

'Worse, I think she might force us to get a job,' said Lily with a shiver. 'Tuney's worked at the Railview Hotel for a few summers because mum insisted she should.'

The idea of having to work a Muggle job with a guaranteed abysmal pay was putting a big downer on Severus's last evening at Hogwarts. After all the potions that Lily had been able to sell over the past year, they had more than enough money to last though the summer. If professor Slughorn would allow them to start up another potions lab by the start of sixth year then, well, Lily would be able to make a pretty decent head start if she ever wanted to start her own brewing company. 'What if we start our own mini potions lab and sell them through the Daily Prophet?' Severus suggested.

Lily looked sheepishly up at Severus. 'You do realise that means putting your name, once again, into a newspaper you'd rather stay out of,' she said. 'Not to mention that Leo will never forgive you for turning him into a full-time courier.'

Admittedly, Severus had not thought the idea of selling potions over the summer entirely through. 'There's got to be some way to avoid having to work at some shady hotel though,' he said. 'Honestly, that hotel is the last place where I want to be wasting my summer holiday.'

'You sound like a whiny teenager, Sev,' said Lily, and planted a kiss on his cheek. 'I think some people are waiting for you at your own house table.'

Out of sheer habit, Severus had walked up to the Gryffindor table instead of following the Slytherins up to the other side of the Great Hall. On the other side, he could already see Evan, Emma and Regulus waving at him, indicating that they've saved him a seat.

'Remus,' said Severus, 'Are you really going to do this tonight?'

'I am,' said Remus, his body language betraying that he wasn't determined to do so in the slightest. 'Either that, or I am just going to say _fuck it_ and leave.'

'You can do this mate,' said Sirius as he sat down beside him. 'Just remember you're a werewolf, not a swearwolf.'

'Come on, Sev,' said Lily as she gently pushed him away from the table. 'Just try to make the best out of the situation. Go eat something.'

With a growl, Severus made his way across the other side of the Hall and sat down between Regulus and Evan.

Supposedly he did come across as a whiny teenager. It wasn't so much the idea of being forced to work a shitty job, but Lily didn't know about the missing portrait yet. A lot of things were bound to go differently once he got to speak to Erwin about it, not to mention that Arnica is not even aware about the war yet.

'Arriving at King's Cross tomorrow is going to be awkward,' said Regulus with a sigh.

'Why's that?' asked Emma, who was looking down at he plate as if she was eagerly awaiting her food.

'Because my folks will be there to pick me up,' said Regulus. 'And so are the Potters to pick up James and Sirius. I got a feeling it's not going to look pretty.'

'If Potter's smart he would throw his invisibility cloak over Sirius before they leave the train,' said Severus. 'That way he could just sneak away undetected.'

'Potter's got a _what?'_ asked Emma.

'An invisibility cloak,' repeated Severus. 'A very powerful object that I guess has been in his family for a very long time.'

'Freaky,' said Emma with a sour look on her face. 'What you're basically saying is that he could just sneak in anywhere undetected with that thing.'

'Nothing that a "Homenum Revelio" can't detect,' said Severus, but now that he came to think of it, what if it had been Potter that had broken into their lab instead of Avery or Mulciber? He hadn't bothered to see if anyone was still inside the lab as he had been too busy comforting Lily and picking up the pieces. That still wouldn't explain the missing painting though. Surely Potter wouldn't stoop that low…

The noise that came from the Great Hall was slowly fading, and Severus saw that Dumbledore had taken place on the teacher's platform in order to speak.

'Another year gone!' said Dumbledore cheerfully. 'And I must trouble you with an old man's wheezing waffle before we sink our teeth into our delicious feast. First I would like to congratulate professor Flitwick and the whole of Ravenclaw on the victory of winning the house cup!'

A loud cheer came from the Ravenclaw table arose as professor Flitwick was handed the house cup, and held it up proudly for the Ravenclaws to see.

'What a year it's been,' continued Dumbledore once the Ravenclaw table had calmed down a bit. 'Many exceptional things have happened over the course of the past months—'

Severus couldn't help but notice that Dumbledore looked straight at him at the mention of "exceptional things", and he threw up his Occlumency shield despite knowing that Dumbledore wouldn't just prod inside his mind without reason.

'—Many of them good,' Dumbledore continued, 'and some a little less fortunate. First, I would like to acknowledge mister Severus Snape for his exceptional discovery on creating the Wolfsbane Potion, and thus becoming the youngest member that The Order of Merlin has ever officially recognised.'

Severus had not expected his name to be suddenly mentioned. In the blink of an eye everyone in the Great Hall had turned their heads in his direction, some even applauded, causing him to let his hair fall in front of his face in shame.

Quickly Dumbledore moved on to draw back the attention from the Great Hall. 'I would also like to acknowledge miss Lily Evans and mister Evan Rosier for their exceptional courage shown when they discovered the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, left here by Salazar Slytherin himself all those years ago, and saving a student in the process.'

Severus could see the back of Lockhart's curly haired head and his ears turning a vicious shade of red. No one at the Ravenclaw table seemed to notice though, and Severus assumed Lockhart had managed to keep it a secret that it had been him who had been saved down in the Chamber.

'Moving on to something a bit more serious,' said Dumbledore in a much more somber tone, 'is that the sudden appearance of Voldemort and his followers in the Forbidden Forest has not gone unnoticed. As of next school year, officials from the ministry are coming to Hogwarts for research purposes and to tighten security.'

Dumbledore didn't look happy about that in the slightest. Not that Severus could blame him. The prospect of having Dementors guarding every corner of the castle brought him a sickening feeling to his stomach just thinking about it.

'Last but not least,' said Dumbledore as he gestured towards the Gryffindor table, 'I have one student who would like to have a final word before we can officially start the feast. Mister Lupin, if you will do me the honour.'

All eyes were now on Remus, who was walking awkwardly up to the platform, shaking violently from the nerves.

'As uhm—as you all know,' Remus started off, 'it hasn't gone entirely unnoticed that my name is connected to the project that Severus Snape received the Order of Merlin for. Some speculated its because he's my boyfriend, but I can assure you that that is not the case.'

'Hmhm,' said Regulus as he jammed his elbow in Severus's ribs. 'I figured you were secretly a bit of a faerie.'

'Oh shut up Reggie,' said Severus with a huff and pushed Regulus nearly out of his seat. 'I'd rather have Remus than you.'

'What is true, however, is that the Wolfabane project did start because of me, and someone else who's name I prefer not to mention,' continued Remus. 'Many of you have already have the suspicion that I may be a werewolf, and that—.' Remus had started to choke on his own words, and silent tears started to stream down his face.

'When I was very little,' Remus said after he had managed to recollect himself a bit, 'I was bitten by a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback. There are reasons behind this attack that I won't trouble any of you with, but I can assure you that it wasn't something that I had signed up for voluntarily. But yes,' he said as he raised his arms up, 'I am a werewolf.'

Remus closed his eyes as if he was expecting an uproar to erupt from the Great Hall, but instead everyone remained silent. Far too silent for Severus's liking, as everyone seemed to eye him with suspicion.

'I can assure all of you,' said Remus a little louder, 'that the very last thing I want is to hurt anyone. For the past five years I have always been brought to a safe place for my transformations, and since the invention of the Wolfsbane Potion neither I, nor anyone around me has to live in fear. I can understand completely if you don't feel safe around someone like me. I honestly do, and yet I am asking you to trust me, and to trust on the groundbreaking potion that Severus Snape and his partner mister Belby have created.'

Remus bit his lip as if he no longer knew what to say, and remained standing like a statue until someone would throw the first words of insult at him.

'I think this is very brave of you, Remus!' Lily yelled suddenly from across the Hall.

'Yeah Remus!' Emma cried suddenly. 'I trust you!'

'We know you're not dangerous!' yelled Frank. 'We like you just the way you are!'

Although most students remained seated, there were several who joined in throwing words of encouragement; causing Remus to get teary-eyed again.

Dumbledore stood beside Remus for a final word. 'It was with my blessing that mister Lupin was able to come to Hogwarts,' he said, 'and I wish for mister Lupin to remain so until he graduates. Thank you for your honestly, mister Lupin. Feel free to join the feast again.'

With a smile Remus quickly made his way back to the Gryffindor table and was pulled into a tight embrace by all of his friends that surrounded him.

Severus noticed that not everyone in the Great Hall was too keen on suddenly having a werewolf roaming among them, but if it was going to cause any problems, the trouble wasn't going to expose itself until next school year.

Dumbledore announced for the feast to begin, and the empty dishes in front of them had suddenly piled up with food.

'Horton probably made these!' said Regulus enthusiastically has he pilled up on Yorkshire pudding. 'He's good with pastries.'

'Who's Horton?' asked Severus.

'One of the house-elves,' said Regulus. 'He was one of the elves that served us when we celebrated Lily's birthday down in the kitchens, remember?'

Severus shook his head, shrugged, and started piling up roast chicken onto his plate.

'Everyone forgets about the house-elves,' said Regulus sadly. 'They're such wonderful creatures though. Powerful too.'

The rest of the evening consisted mostly of eating delicious food. From across the Hall, Severus saw that some students had walked up to Remus to have a chat, but then some preferred to stay out of his way too. Either way, it was good to see that not everyone had suddenly grown frightened of him, and the Wolfsbane Potion probably had a lot to do with that.

…

'I'm glad we're going home tomorrow,' said Severus.

He was lying in bed and was holding up the two-way mirror, talking to Lily.

'We have some catching up to do from last summer,' said Lily with a smile. 'I think despite what mum's going to throw at us once we get home, it's still going to be a good couple of months.'

'I still want to go camping with you,' said Severus. 'Evan came with the idea a while back. It hasn't really escaped my mind since then.'

'Maybe we can when we go visit the Weasleys,' said Lily. 'We'll be in Devon and that's not too far from Dartmoor. Should be dark enough out there to do our summer assignment for Astronomy.'

'We could use that as an excuse,' said Severus, feeling slightly more hopeful now that they could connect it to mandatory homework.

Lily was lying on her stomach and supported her head with both her hands. Her mirror propped up against her pillow. Severus couldn't help but admire how her mess of red hair fell over her shoulders, and the desire to sneak out of the Slytherin dorms and run up to the Gryffindor tower was growing stronger with each passing moment.

'Wish I could be there with you,' said Severus eventually.

'What if I come down there and join you instead?' said Lily teasingly.

Severus shook his head. 'I'm not going to let you enter a snake pit,' he said, 'even when Mulciber and Avery are gone.'

'In that case I'll crawl in bed with you once we're home,' said Lily with a wink. 'We should go to sleep, Sev. We've got to get up early.'

'I love you,' Severus said suddenly, causing Lily to blush. 'I don't tell you that nearly enough, but I do.'

'I love you too, Sev,' Lily said shyly. 'Goodnight.'

Lily broke contact the moment she put her mirror down, causing Severus to look up at his own face again.

He closed his eyes. Sometimes it was still hard to believe that Lily was alive, and real, and most of all, his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Fun fact! The address Mr. H. Potter, Room 17, Railview Hotel, Cokeworth was mentioned in the third chapter of Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone. It is the first time the name Cokeworth is ever mentioned. However, in the American edition of the first book, the address was taken out by the publishers, meaning that most American readers never got to know about Cokeworth until the sixth book.
> 
> A/N If you ever felt like Dumbledore was able to see Harry despite him wearing his invisibility cloak, it is because Dumbledore would cast a non-verbal Homenum Revelio if he had a suspicion Harry was around.


	131. The Taste of Chocolate Frogs

A hurricane of students hurried out of the doors from the Entrance Hall the moment it was announced that the carriages had arrived. Sirius had started singing "School's Out" by Alice Cooper loudly over the crowd, infecting many students to start singing along.

'Looks like it's going to be a summer filled with sunshine,' said Lily happily as she locked arms with Severus on their way out.

The weather had indeed been growing warmer with each passing day. Both Lily and Emma kept telling Severus over and over again just how grateful they were that he had invented a sunblock strong enough for them to go outside without having to fear they'd get a sunburn. It was a good thing Severus had managed to make enough for them before the lab was suddenly destroyed.

Shortly before Lily had dragged Severus out of the castle, he had taken the liberty to speak to Dumbledore in private and ask a few things.

The first question was related to where professor Slughorn was, since Severus figured it didn't quite comply with the old man's lifestyle to skip a banquet and leave to go home early. Dumbledore confided him that it was because both Avery and Mulciber were to be escorted from the castle; Mulciber because he was no longer a student at Hogwarts and had no reason to stay around the castle longer than necessary. Avery because he had requested to leave early, and so Slughorn had taken his duty as Slytherin's head of house to make sure the two boys got home safely. That being said, both Dumbledore and Slughorn were aware that the lab had been destroyed. Whether Slughorn knew if Mulciber and Avery were behind it however, was something Dumbledore couldn't answer.

The other question Severus had was when he could expect Dumbledore to contact him during the summer. Dumbledore wasn't sure yet, explaining that he wanted to do some more research before taking Severus on a quest to find the Gaunt's ring. With the promise that Dumbledore would contact him by the end of July even if they couldn't go search for the ring yet, Severus left, following a very excited looking Lily out of the castle.

Severus could still hear Sirius singing " _No more pencils no more books. No more teacher's dirty looks yeah!"_ behind him when he suddenly heard a horse neighing loudly, and saw that the Thestral who had been following him around all year was calling out to him.

'This carriage is still free,' said Severus as he walked up to the Thestral, and started to scratch her behind her ears.

'She must really like you, Sev,' said Lily, looking at the Thestral as if she was, quite literally, staring straight through it. 'Are you ever going to tell me why it is you can see her?'

'When the time is right,' said Severus as he looked up at Lily, and noticed that she wasn't looking too pleased about what he said. 'Looks I'm sorry Lily, there are just some things that I'm unable share with you just yet.'

Lily shrugged it off and stepped inside the carriage, but Severus knew that she was going to hold a grudge about it a little while longer.

The group was forced to split up as the carriages were too small to fit twelve people. Lily didn't ask about the Thestral again, but by the look on her face it was obvious that she was eyeing Severus with suspicion. Not that he could blame her, and wondered just how much he would have tolerated if he had been in Lily's position. Maybe that was the right word for it. Tolerance; but not acceptance, and she only tolerated it because he did share his secrets with Dumbledore and received his help in the process.

Sirius was still being extremely hyped up about officially moving in with the Potters today. Ranting on and on about playing Quidditch and going to concerts and being able to set up his drum-set without parents threatening to chuck it out of a window.

'What are you going to do if you see your parents on the platform?' asked Severus as casually as he could, remembering the conversation he had with Regulus the previous night.

'Just pretend they don't exist, I suppose,' said Sirius with a shrug. 'I don't care if they see me or not. What matters is that Reggie will be able to make it through the summer without too much trouble. He's still dating a Gryffindor our parents know nothing about after all.'

'Are you know afraid Regulus is going to—you know—deal with more _abusive_ problems now that you're gone?' Lily asked, and looked as if she regretted asking the moment she said it.

Sirius shook his head. 'Reggie's the perfect son,' he said flatly. 'He's the one who got into Slytherin, joined the Quidditch team and held up the idea that he was devoted to you-know-who's cause and was eager to join. The latter he's played so well I even started to believe it.'

Severus knew better of course, as Regulus from his future's past had indeed joined the Death Eaters until he ended up being killed by turning his back by the same group he had joined. Back then he had considered it an act of cowardice, but now that he came to think of it, for Regulus to turn against the Dark Lord on his own, risking everything he had, including his life, in the process, had been quite an act of bravery.

'I think if Reggie really got into trouble at home,' continued Sirius, 'then he'd tell me about it so I can come and act like the Gryffindor I am.'

'It just doesn't sit well with me,' said Lily admittedly. 'You leaving your parents because of what they did to you, and then Regulus staying in the same place.'

'I know it's difficult for you, but try not to worry to much Lily,' said Sirius with a grin. 'You have the tendency to worry about everyone and everything, just like that Molly Prewett used to do.'

'Well someone's got to stand up and act like a mum around all those reckless Gryffindors,' said Lily as she shot Sirius as sharp look. 'Thing is, I just want everyone to be safe and happy. I can't help it.'

'Is she always fussing over you like that, Severus?' asked Sirius. 'Making sure you're safe and happy and all that.'

'You have no idea,' Severu snickered. 'Always fussing about making sure I'm not being sad about something, or eating properly…'

Lily crossed her arms and her eyes had turned to slits. 'Fine,' she said, 'next time I'll just let you starve to death.'

'As if Arnica would allow that to happen,' said Severus, humoured by Lily's sour stance.

'You two, seriously,' said Evan suddenly, who up to now had remained silent as the carriage had started to make its way towards the Hogsmeade train station. 'Always quarrelling like an old married couple.'

'Well aren't you suddenly in a bad mood,' said Lily as she turned to Evan. 'Something wrong?'

'Not really,' said Evan. 'Just nervous. Excited and nervous I should say. I mean, I'm looking forward to start living with the Longbottoms but I also have no idea what to expect. I never met them before.'

'They raised Frank,' said Lily. 'I suppose they are just as loving and caring as he is.'

'I suppose it's a bit easier for me since I already know the Potters,' said Sirius, 'but just try to look at it as a new adventure. And you get to live in London, so that's a big plus.'

'Don't the Longbottoms live right above their own shop in Diagon Alley?' asked Severus.

'They do,' said Evan. 'Frank told me they cleared out the attic and turned it into a bedroom for me. Living in Diagon Alley would be a blast.'

'And you get to do magic outside of school as long as you're in a magical dwelling,' said Lily, a little grudgingly. 'Wish Sev and I could do that once we're back in Cokeworth.'

'What's Cokeworth like?' asked Sirius. 'I think I've heard of it but I have no idea what's out there.'

Both Severus and Lily rolled their eyes at the mention of Cokeworth. 'Technically it's a city,' Lily explained. 'A factory city. Lots of similar looks houses and slabs of concrete, and a litter-strewn riverbank to match with it.'

'Very Muggle-ish,' Severus added. 'I wouldn't be surprised if Lily and I were the only two magical people around.'

'Well that's depressing,' said Sirius.

'Some day Lily and I will move out and find a nice apartment we can share in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade or something,' said Severus, and the idea of sharing a place with her brought a smile to his face.

'Are you implying that we're going to live together as soon as we get out of Hogwarts?' asked Lily with a raised eyebrow.

'We're already living together,' said Severus. 'Might as well continue to do so when we move out of Cokeworth.'

'And once you two do, you're going to get married, have a few kids and then live happily ever after,' said Evan with a grin.

'I'm not one for a domesticated kind of life, thank you,' said Severus. 'Looks like we're here.'

The carriage had indeed stopped. By the use of a levitation charm the group carried their heavy trunks and instrument cases out of the carriage. Severus shared his goodbye with the Thestral, and with their luggage floating behind them they made their way to the train station where the stream train was already waiting for them.

Carrying a heavy sack filled with Galleons, Severus exchanged most of it into pounds, leaving him with a very thick pack of banknotes shoved into his pocket.

'Our group is too big to share just one compartment,' said Frank. 'Think we'll have to split up again.

'Maybe we could use an Undetectable Extension charm,' Severus suggested. 'It'll still be a tight fit but at least we can try to fit us all into one place.'

'Got to be quite a powerful spell to achieve that,' said Frank. 'Think you can do it?'

Confident enough that he was able to do it, Severus took the lead and found the nearest empty compartment to test if an Undetectable Extension charm would work. 'Just squeeze in,' he said after the compartment looked as if it had extended itself.

'Brilliant,' said Regulus. 'Looks like the seats are twice as big now.'

All twelve members of the Young Order had managed to sit down in one compartment. It was still crowded, but at least everyone was able to sit properly.

Once all the trunks and instrument cases were pilled up on the overhead racks, the whistle was blown, and the train started to move.

'Anyone hungry?' asked Potter. 'I want to see if I can find the trolley to get us some food.'

'And coffee,' said Remus. 'I'll join you. Anyone want to chip in?'

Severus handed Remus a galleon, as did the rest of the group, and so Potter and Remus left the compartment in search for a second breakfast.

'Should we all just pin a date right now so we can meet up in London this summer?' asked Mary.

'What about the twenty-forth of this month?' suggested Lily. 'It's on a Saturday and we should be getting our O.W.L. results too right around that time. Then we can all simultaneously complain about our grades.'

'Twenty-forth it is,' said Sirius.

As the group started talking about their upcoming O.W.L. results, Severus kept staring longingly through the window of the compartment door. Surviving a whole group of chatty people for over ten hours straight was going to require a rather large supply of coffee.

Fortunately, it didn't take long for Remus and Potter to return. Remus was carrying a full can filled with coffee in one hand and a supply of paper cups in the other. Potter was carrying a brown bag filled with that had to be a large supply of pastries and other sweet things.

'You want a Chocolate Frog Evans?' asked Potter as he opened up the bag on the small table at the window.

'I'll take one!' said Lily as she caught a Chocolate Frog box that Potter had tossed at her. 'Haven't collected any of these cards for a while now.'

Severus had snatched the frog midair before it was able to jump down on the dusty floor. 'We should bring some of these frogs home for the family to try out,' said Severus.

'I'd like to see Tuney's reaction when she sees one of these jump up suddenly,' said Lily with a twinkle in her eye, and took a bite of the frog's head after Severus had handed it to her. 'Oh look, I got Dumbledore.'

' _Albus Dumbledore,'_ Lily read out loud, _'currently Headmaster of Hogwarts. Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in nineteen-forty five, for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood and his work on alchemy with his partner, Nicolas Flamel. Professor Dumbledore enjoys chamber music and tenpin bowling.'_

At the mention of Nicolas Flamel, Severus wondered if Dumbledore had actually told Flamel that it would be wise to secure the Philosopher Stone so that the Dark Lord would not be able to go after it. It was yet another thing to talk about when he would meet up with Dumbledore this summer.

'Do any of you know what the twelve uses of dragon's blood actually are?' asked Lily. 'I only know it as a potion's strengthener…'

'I know a few,' said Severus, just realising that even he didn't know all twelve uses of it. 'It's used to cure some diseases such as verruca, or to make red ink and it's also used as a spot remover and as oven cleaner.'

That seemed to have sparked a debate. Remus handed Severus some freshly brewed coffee, which he gladly took in order to shake off the sleepy feeling he got from the warm weather.

Along the way, more snacks were pulled out off the bag, more coffee was served and games of Exploding Snap were played. By the time the train arrived at King's Cross, everyone had changed out of their school robes, and their families, old and new, were waiting for their arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Alice Cooper's "School's Out" came out in 1972.
> 
> A/N Reminder: Severus didn't get to see Eileen die when they were beaten up by Tobias, as she died on the surgeon's table while he was lying in a different part of the hospital. It is because of this that he's technically not supposed to be able to see Thestrals.
> 
> A/N (…) "Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city [Cokeworth]. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets. (…) In other words, Cokeworth is supposedly a big city.


	132. The Summer of 1976

Through the train's window, Severus could see that the Black family was standing only several feet away from the Potters. Sirius must have noticed too, as he pushed himself as far back into his seat as possible, hoping that he hadn't been noticed.

'Maybe using Potter's Invisability Cloak isn't such a bad idea after all,' said Severus.

'They know I'm moving in with the Potters,' said Sirius. 'If they don't see me leave with them they might just make a bigger problem out of it than it already is.'

'Perhaps it's a good idea to share our goodbyes before we get off the train,' suggested Mary. 'Better avoid as much family drama as we can.'

The group agreed, and so everyone shared their goodbyes until they would meet again near the end of July. Severus lifted the Undetectable Extension charm once they had all left the compartment, and with that the sad realisation came that it would probably be the last time he would be able to use magic until the start of the next school year.

Potter and Sirius took the lead. That way everyone would be able to cover their backs just in case Sirius's parents would lash out. Fortunately, that didn't happen. Regulus made sure to distract his parents, and although it was obvious that the Blacks had seen Sirius leave the train, they pretended not to notice.

Fleamont Potter gave a small nod of recognision in Severus's direction before he and his wife ushered the two boys away from the station. One by one members of the Young Order found their parents among the crowd, and eventually Lily found her parents among them, and surprisingly, Petunia too.

Arnica was the first one to run up to Lily and pull her into a tight hug. 'It's so good to see you two again!' she said happily, and switched to Severus by pulling him into a bone-crushing embrace. 'Looks like you finally gained some weight.'

Severus begged to differ, but if Arnica believed it he may just be able to avoid being force fed over the summer. 'I suppose I did,' he said.

'What brings you here, Tuney?' asked Lily after she hugged her sister.

'Just felt like coming with,' said Petunia. 'This is probably going to be the last summer we get to spend together.'

As Petunia and Lily fell into conversation, Severus turned to greet Erwin.

'Good to see you again, Severus,' said Erwin and gave Severus a pat on the back. 'You have been starting to look a lot better since Christmas.'

'Thanks,' said Severus, and lowered his voice to make sure Lily and Arnica couldn't hear him. 'There are some things that we need to discuss in private, if possible.'

Erwin nodded in understanding. 'More than telling Arnica about the war I presume?'

'Yes,' said Severus in a serious manner. 'It's about—'

'—Can it wait until tomorrow?' asked Erwin. 'Arnica right now is in far too good of a mood if it's something that affects all of us.'

'Are Lily and I in trouble?' asked Severus, thinking back to when Lily told him Arnica might force them to get a summer job.

Erwin looked over at Arnica and let out a sigh. 'I asked her to be reasonable, for as far as possible,' he said. 'She's angry, though she probably won't show it until we're back home.'

'Is it possible for us to just head into the city together tomorrow?' asked Severus. 'There are a few things you should know before Lily and I tell her about the war.'

'I was already planning on taking you to the city's center,' said Erwin with a grin. 'Got enough money saved for a motorbike?'

'I should have enough,' said Severus, feeling the thick pack of Muggle money in his pocket. 'Do you really want to go shop for motorbike by tomorrow already?'

'You're not the only one who's been looking forward to getting one,' said Erwin excitedly. 'Ladies, are we ready to go home?'

The family of five was making its way through the wall of platform nine and ten when Frank suddenly called out to Severus.

'I got something for you,' Frank whispered, making sure that the Evanses couldn't hear him. With a quick slip of the hand, Frank has shoved a small package into the pocket of Severus's jeans.

Severus didn't need to ask what it was, and nodded in approval.

'Do make sure you're in a good mood this time,' said Frank in a serious manner. 'Have some fun with it.'

'Thanks,' mumbled Severus, and with a wink Frank left to join his parents and Evan again.

Quickly, Severus followed the family, who had already passed through the gate between platform nine and ten.

'How exactly are we all going to fit in the car?' asked Lily. 'Didn't we kind of already establish that five people and heavy luggage doesn't fit in the Austin?'

Erwin was growing a bit red in the face. 'The Austin's still parked at home,' he said. 'Arthur has lent me a car that is uhm—well, is a bit more spacey than the Austin is.'

Once they had reached the parking lot, Erwin pointed at a turquoise Ford Anglia that made Severus stand rooted to the spot.

Unmistakably, this had to be the same car that Lily's son and his Weasley friend had flown to school at the start of their second year, nearly destroying the Whomping Willow in the process.

'We're not flying that thing, are we?' asked Severus as he looked at the car with suspicion.

'Who said anything about flying?' said Erwin. 'Arthur put one of those Undetectable Charms on it. It's big enough on the inside to fit all of us. Asked him if he wanted to do that charm on the Austin first but he said something about there being laws against that kind of thing.'

Severus was quite confident that charming any Muggle vehicle to begin with was against the rules, but then again, knowing Arthur, he was never a man to stick too tightly to the laws. Even the ones he had created himself.

'This is brilliant,' said Lily as she opened the car's trunk to shove her luggage in. 'More than enough space to fit our stuff and ourselves.'

Once the whole family had taken place inside the hot car, Erwin fired up the engine, rolled down the windows and headed to the West.

'So how did the exams go?' asked Arnica to start the conversation. 'Was it hard?'

'It was,' said Lily. 'Got to do a lot of practical things too though, so that made it a bit easier. That, and Sev made sure I actually studied on time. That helped.'

'And for you Severus?' asked Arnica. 'Think you passed everything?'

Severus just shrugged. 'Didn't come across a single question that I have not been able to answer, so I suppose I did alright.'

'Sev's being modest,' said Lily grudgingly. 'Pretty sure he's going to end up with a whole list of perfect "Outstandings", probably going to break a school record or something.'

'Sounds like you're jealous, sis,' Petunia teased. 'But to talk about something completely different, when did you two officially start dating?'

'Some time back in the spring,' said Lily, and placed her hand on top of his own that he had resting on his knee.

'Looks like your lost the bet mum,' said Petunia. 'Dad and I were right all along.'

'There was a bet?' said Lily wide-eyed. 'An actual bet about Sev and I dating?'

'Mum thought you two wouldn't start dating until after graduation,' said Petunia. 'Dad and I thought it would be sooner. Looks like we won.'

Lily's eyes had started to grow dangerously narrow. 'Sev, did you know about this?' she asked sharply.

Severus tried to look as stoic as possible, but he knew no matter how hard he tried, Lily would be able to see straight through him. 'No clue,' he said.

'Liar,' Lily sneered and crossed her arms out of frustration. 'Were you in on this bet?'

'He wasn't,' said Erwin quickly before the situation would escalate. 'But thanks, Severus, for stepping up your game. This is the best bet I've won in a while.'

'But what if Sev and I break up before we leave school?' said Lily. 'Does your bet still stand?'

Severus looked at Lily with a frown. 'I wasn't planning on ever breaking up with you, you know?'

'Great,' said Petunia. 'When's the wedding?'

Severus leaned in and gave Lily a kiss on the cheek, and noticed she was struggling hard to keep a sour look on her face. 'I'd prefer a traditional hand-fasting, if that time ever comes.'

Severus knew it had worked, because Lily grew red in the face and started to giggle. 'Sev, I don't want to be thinking about these things just yet.'

'So what exactly did you two win?' asked Severus.

'New art supplies,' said Petunia excitedly. 'I've been painting a lot lately because I need to make a portfolio if I want to get accepted into art school.'

'And I,' said Erwin as he beamed at Arnica, who was shaking her head in disapproval, 'get to buy a motorbike too.'

'That explains why you wanted to head into the city as soon as possible,' said Severus, and admittedly he felt just as excited about shopping for motorbikes as Erwin was.

'Can I come with?' asked Lily. 'I'd like to see what you two got your minds set on.'

Severus caught Erwin's gaze in the rear-view mirror, and the unspoken understanding fell that it would be wiser for no one else to be present if they were going to discuss things about the war.

'Lily,' said Erwin in a serious tone, 'it's not that you're not welcome to join us, but what Severus and I need is a man-only day.'

Lily looked disappointed, but still nodded in understanding. 'I get it,' she said. 'Mum, Tuney, can we go do something fun tomorrow as well?'

'We could go to the cinema if you'd like?' said Arnica. 'I think they're still showing The Man Who Fell to Earth.'

'I'd like that,' said Lily. 'We could—'

'—there are some things that I want to discuss with you and Severus first,' said Arnica sharply, and waved with a disapproving finger. 'Things that have been happening at your school that I'm not too happy about.'

Severus wondered when Arnica was going to bring it up. 'Are Lily and I in a lot of trouble?' he asked carefully.

'I'm undecided,' said Arnica, 'but I would like to start off by having a serious conversation with the two of you.'

'Can it _please_ wait until tomorrow?' Lily whined. 'We only just came home.'

'Tomorrow morning,' Arnica stated. 'I want to have a family gathering and make some things very clear between all of us.'

'Will do,' said Severus, hoping that Arnica wasn't going to take all morning and use up time he would rather be spending in the city with Erwin. 'Is that Cokeworth I see in the distance?'

'Are you losing your mind, Severus?' asked Erwin with a snort. 'We only just left London behind.'

'I'm hungry,' stated Petunia, and placed her hands over a rumbling stomach. 'Think we could stop to eat somewhere?'

'Good idea,' said Lily as she placed her hands over her stomach in a similar fashion. 'Also, Sev and I brought something for all of you to try.'

'Something we could eat?' asked Erwin in a hopeful manner. 'I could go for some snacks.'

'Yes,' said Lily with an evil grin, and from the inside of her pockets she pulled out several star-shaped boxes. 'Chocolate frogs.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N In the movies a turquoise Ford Anglia 105E was used. That particular type of car was produced between 1959-1967.
> 
> A/N The Man Who Fell to Earth is a British movie starring David Bowie and came out in March 1976.


	133. Triumph Bonneville T120 I

It could have been a wonderful first night back into his own bedroom, if it wasn't for the fact that he nearly floated out of the bed in a river of his own sweat. Even overnight, the summer heat had become unbearable, and having a bedroom in the attic wasn't making it any better. Severus was driven to the point where he had even grabbed his wand and debated whether it was worth receiving an official warning from the ministry just to use a Cooling Charm, or even a Freezing Charm, just so he could cool down and actually sleep.

Figuring that it was not worth the risk, Severus tossed his wand aside and headed downstairs on the tips of his toes. The sun had already started to come up, and he found Leo sitting on the kitchen's windowsill, looking extremely ruffled.

'Can't stand the heat either, can you?' said Severus as he petted a very sheepishly looking Leo. 'I can help you with that.'

Severus took a bowl out of a kitchen cabinet and filled it up with water, and noticed that even water from the cold tap was feeling lukewarm. 'Just take a swim in this,' he said as he placed the bowl right next to Leo on the windowsill.

With a graceful hop, Leo dove straight into the water, using the bowl as his own little swimming pool, and started to clean his feathers. Severus looked at Leo with a hint of jealousy, and wished that he could jump into the cold water of the Great Lake.

'You should get a haircut,' said a voice suddenly from behind him, and Severus noticed that Petunia had also come down the stairs.

'If I should get a haircut then so should you,' said Severus, 'since yours is about the same length as mine.'

'You know what I mean,' said Petunia as she rolled her eyes, and sat down in a chair at the kitchen table. 'I don't think it has ever looked this sticky before.'

'You know Petunia,' said Severus as he sat down beside her, 'as much as I'd like to blame my horrid hair on potion fumes, I honestly just have greasy hair that I am too lazy to fix. That, and I'm pretty sure I just showered in my own sweat.'

'And here I am thinking you're a wizard,' said Petunia, and her nose crinkled involuntarily at the mention of sweat. 'You want some hot chocolate?'

'Is it weird for me to actually want some despite the heat?' said Severus. 'I'll admit I've been craving your hot chocolate since last Christmas.'

Petunia smiled and started rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. 'As long as mum and dad are still asleep we can drink hot chocolate for breakfast without judgment,' she said. 'But seriously though, why won't you cut your hair?'

'So I can hide my face when I don't want to look at people,' said Severus, and surprised himself by how honest he was being about it. 'And of course, it suits my rebellious attitude.'

'I'm not going to win this one am I?' said Petunia as she started to pour milk into a saucepan. 'Can I make a deal with you though?'

'Are you really that bothered by my hair?' asked Severus. 'What has my hair ever done to you?'

'Out of all people you should know that I'm a neat freak,' said Petunia as she waved around with a wooden spatula. 'But really, I'd like to make a deal with you.'

'Then what would that be?' Severus asked, and started to grow amused by how much Petunia seemed to care about his physical presence.

'I will continue to make as much hot chocolate for you as you want for the years to come,' said Petunia, 'if you promise me I get to cut your hair before your wedding day.'

Severus started laughing out loud. 'What on earth makes you think Lily and I are ever getting married?' he asked.

'Because,' said Petunia as she puts her hands on her hips, 'before you and Lily went off to Hogwarts the first time around I remember her ranting on and on about how she was going to marry you some day.'

'Are you actually serious?' asked Severus, feeling elated at the idea of Lily having such girly ideas about them together when they were younger. 'I had no idea.'

'It was only a matter of time,' said Petunia, now melting small blocks of dark chocolate on the stove. 'I wouldn't be surprised if the two of you got married right after your graduation day.'

The idea of starting a family may scare him to bits, but to find out that Lily had actually wanted to be his wife way before Potter trampled all over that dream was making him feel cosy on the inside. Suck on that, Potter. 'I'd still prefer a hand-fasting though,' he said dreamily.

'I'm surprised you're not protesting,' said Petunia as she carried two steaming hot mugs to the table and sat down again. 'Most men start to cringe the moment you mention the word _marriage.'_

Severus lowered his voice. 'Can I confide something in you?' he asked.

'Sure,' said Petunia, and straightened her back as if she was ready to listen to so juicy details. 'You're not going to tell me you already got a ring for her, do you?'

Severus shook his head. 'I don't,' he said, 'but I do want to marry her some day.'

'Can't imagine a life without her can you?' said Petunia with twinkling eyes. 'Can I ask you something very personal?'

'Do I have a choice on that matter?' asked Severus.

'No,' stated Petunia, and a hint of a grin formed on her face. 'Have you slept with my sister yet?'

Severus stared into Petunia's blue eyes and wondered if she would accept the truth as the actual truth. 'We have not,' he said as casually as he could. 'Why d'you ask?'

'I asked her last night and she didn't want to tell me,' said Petunia as she sipped from her hot chocolate. 'Said it was too personal.'

'She's not wrong you know,' said Severus with a tilted eye. 'But it's the truth. We haven't.'

'Alright,' said Petunia, 'reason I'm asking is because mum has been ranting on and on about being _safe_ and all that. Now that Lily's home mum's bound to do the same with her, and you too, probably. Consider it a warning.'

'Have you and Vernon done it?' asked Severus, although unsure why he even bothered as it wasn't the kind of mental image he wanted to have in his head.

Petunia shook her head. 'If I could describe Vernon in one word it would be "traditionalist",' she said, and her thinning lips betrayed that it wasn't something she was all too happy about. 'Doesn't want to do anything until we're married.'

'Does he want to marry you?' asked Severus, and the idea of even being related to Vernon by marriage was something that put a bitter taste in his mouth.

'We talked about it,' said Petunia. 'I told him I'm not interested until after I graduate from art school.'

'How does he feel about you going to art school?' asked Severus with genuine curiosity. 'If I recall correctly, he wasn't very supportive of the idea.'

Petunia shrugged. 'He keeps telling me that I shouldn't get my hopes up,' she said sadly. 'That I should worry about getting accepted into art school in the first place.'

'With your talent I am positive you will get in,' said Severus, feeling himself grow angry at how unsupportive Vernon is about his own girlfriend's future. 'I'll find a way to help you if necessary.'

Petunia was starting to get watery eyes. 'Thank you, Severus,' she said with a smile. 'I appreciate that.'

'Does he still think I'm a bastard?' asked Severus a bit more sharply than he intended.

'I'm afraid so,' she Petunia with a hint of shame. 'As I said, he's a traditionalist who is very focused on normalcy.'

'You were once focused on normalcy,' said Severus as she swirled around the hot chocolate in his cup. 'What happened to that?'

Petunia was looking intensely down at his cup as if she was recollecting the memory. 'When you told me that our family is not a normal family, remember? It put some things in perspective for me.'

'You finally came to the understanding that normalcy does not exist?' said Severus. 'Normalcy is like trying to find the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. It's an unobtainable ideal.'

'Exactly that,' said Petunia with a nod. 'I have slowly come to terms with the fact that I live a life surrounded by magic. All I needed to do was reach out and claim my own.'

'Why are you and Vernon still together?' asked Severus carefully, wondering why someone who was finally letting go of the idea of normalcy was still staying with a man who was holding on to that kind of ideal.

'Because he's good to me, too,' said Petunia.

This caused a lot of alarm bells to start ringing inside Severus's mind, but before he was able to saying anything about it, Lily had suddenly come down the stairs, and, entirely unexpectedly, was carrying a tortoiseshell cat.

'Good morning,' said Lily happily as she joined them at the table, gave Severus a kiss and placed the cat on Severus's lap. 'So tell me, Tuney, when exactly did mum and dad decide get a cat?'

The cat seemed entirely oblivious to having been placed on an unknown person's lap, and started purring loudly as Severus scratched it behind his ear.

'We didn't,' said Petunia. 'I bet that's one of misses Figg's cats. She recently moved into that house across the road. She's got a whole bunch of them and some walk in from time to time. I think she breeds them.'

'He's cute,' said Lily as she stroked the cat on his back. 'I woke up and he was sleeping right by my feet. I guess he must've climbed through the window.'

'Can I have one?' asked Severus as he turned to Lily with pleading eyes. 'I do love cats.'

'You'll have to convince mum for that one,' said Lily, looking equally pleased at the cat that had fallen asleep on Severus's lap. 'What have you two been chatting about all morning?'

'I've been telling Severus that he needs to cut his hair,' said Petunia. 'He looks like an elf.'

Lily let out a loud snort. 'I think our ideas on what elves looks like are a little different Tuney.'

'What does that make Lily then?' asked Severus. 'My dwarven girlfriend?

Lily shot Severus a poisonous glare that caused Petunia to howl with laughter. 'Are elves actually real though?'

'They are,' said Lily. 'Though they don't look anything the way Muggles think they look like. 'They looks a bit like big potatoes with pointy ears.'

'Weird,' said Petunia, and took another sip of her hot chocolate. 'Are mum and dad up yet?'

'They should be coming down any minute,' said Lily with a frown. 'One a scale of one to ten, how screwed are Sev and I?'

'I'd say an eight,' said Petunia casually. 'The only reason I knocked two points off is because dad has tried to reason with mum about it. Either way, I prefer not to be in the room when it happens.'

'We're not going to be forced to work at the hotel are we?' asked Severus fearfully. 'That is the last place I want to waste my summer break.'

'I honestly haven't got a clue what mum has in store for you two,' said Petunia. 'I think I hear them coming down. I'm out.'

Petunia quickly dashed away from the table and headed to the garden; no doubt so she could peak through the window to see what the damage was going to be. The cat that had been sitting on Severus's lap must have sensed that something was going to happen, because with an elegant jump he following Petunia into the garden and disappeared out of sight.

'I don't know what's going to happen,' said Lily stiffly, 'but I do hope mum is still willing to go to the cinema with us.'

'I hope Erwin and I can still go out to shop for motorbikes,' said Severus. I've been looking forward to that.'

'Mornin' said Erwin as she walked sleepily into the kitchen, and headed straight for the coffee pot.

'Good morning,' said Arnica, who walked into the kitchen right after Erwin. 'Did anyone here manage to catch some sleep?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N In the summer of 1976, the UK was dealing with an actual (historical) heat wave. Temperatures rose up close to a 100F (or over 35C) for weeks on end. For the readers that live in warmer climates, for British people that is the equivalent of living in Death Valley with no chance of escaping.
> 
> A/N (…) "Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher – the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for a while; I will contact you there."
> 
> The old crowd part made me think that misses Figg was probably already a member of the Order during the first wizarding war.
> 
> A/N Fun fact! Dwarfs is the standard plural noun of dwarf. Dwarves however, was popularised (though not invented) by Tolkien. It was considered the appropriate way of referring to little people in fantasy worlds.


	134. Triumph Bonneville T120 II

'It's outrageous!' cried Arnica, her coffee shaking over the edges of the cup as she held it. 'Sneaking off in the middle of the night, swimming in a cold lake, _partying, so shortly before the exams!_ Something could have happened out there. You could have gotten hurt! _You could have drowned!'_

Severus and Lily kept their backs as straight as possible as Arnica kept ranting on and on about everything that potentially could have happened to them but hadn't. Even Erwin seemed a little afraid to look his wife in the eye as she raged on and on about taking responsibility.

'We did it for a friend though,' said Lily as carefully as she could, and closed her eyes as if she expected another stream of lectures to be hitting her verbally in the face.

'For a friend?' Arnica cried out in disbelief. ' _For a friend_? What could possibly be so important that a whole group of students need to sneak out for?'

'We did it for Remus,' said Severus. 'He's a friend who suffers from lycanthropy. You know, that disease I created a potion for so he doesn't have to suffer anymore.'

Arnica's hardened face became a little softer at Severus's mention of the Wolfsbane Potion. 'Sorry,' she said stiffly, 'I haven't even properly congratulated you yet on receiving an Order for your work.'

'Don't bother,' said Severus, and dismissed it with a wave. 'I just want to know if Lily and I are in trouble or not.'

'Yes,' said Arnica strictly, and shot them both a glare professor McGonagall would be proud of. 'You two will be facing consequences for your actions, and I hope that in the process you will learn that this kind of behaviour is uncalled for.'

'Yes mum,' said Lily as politely as she could. 'What exactly is it that you want us to do?'

Arnica straightened her back and folded her hands in an authoritative manner. 'Since you two decided to celebrate your summer break early, I figured you won't have any need for it anymore. I'm claiming the freedom you were given this summer as my own. You two will be held responsible for putting breakfast on the table. The dishes. Cleaning the house. Laundry. Getting groceries, and yes, dinner too.'

Lily's mouth fell open in horror, but Severus was struggling to suppress a grin. Since he was a little boy he was held responsible for all these kinds of things. It hadn't been much different during his adult life either; only this time he had four more people to consider. This was a much better compromise than the prospect of having to work at the hotel.

'So we have to do _everything_ around here?' Lily asked with a horrorstruck face. 'As in, _everything?'_

'Not entirely,' said Arnica, looking much more at peace now that she had finally spilled the beans, and started sipping her coffee. 'Petunia is still going to tend the garden because she enjoys doing it, and so you two don't have to. For now, you can start by putting breakfast on the table while I go take a quick bath; and remember, I like my red wines slightly chilled.'

Arnica's eyes did not stray until she made her way up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door behind her, and an awkward silence fell in the kitchen.

'Is it safe for me to come in again?' asked Petunia as she peeped through the kitchen window. 'Mum was pissed wasn't she?'

'We're screwed,' said Lily bitterly. 'So bloody screwed. No more free time. No more fun. This summer is officially over.'

'You drama queen,' said Petunia as she walked back into the house. 'Could've been worse. She could have forced you to work at the hotel like she has done to me.'

'How about you two start putting breakfast on the table,' said Erwin. 'Just remember we'll also be spending time at the Weasleys later this month and in Amsterdam at the end of the summer. That knocks of a few significant days of hard work.'

Severus stood up and got to work right away, figuring that the sooner they were done with breakfast the sooner he could go out with Erwin and shop for motorbikes.

'The sunsblock cream you made me is heaven sent, Sev,' said Lily after she finally decided to give in to the situation and started prepping the table. 'Mum told me this heat wave is going to last for a while.'

'You made sunblock cream, Severus?' asked Erwin as he sat down at the table. 'Did you make me some as well?'

'I'll admit I hadn't really thought of that,' said Severus as he started placing supplies from the fridge onto the table. 'Didn't expect the summer to turn this outrageously hot. Maybe Lily can share some though. I've made quite a big supply for her.'

Erwin looked at Lily with pleading eyes, and Lily nodded to say that she could share some with him.

For a brief moment, Severus wondered if the summer of seventy-six had been this hot the first time around. It probably had, but since he no longer talked to Lily up to that point he must have locked himself inside some shadowy corner of his room at Spinner's End and waited around mindlessly for the next train to Hogwarts to leave.

Erwin and Severus seemed to have a non-verbal agreement regarding wolfing down their breakfast so they could head to the city as soon as possible. 'Those motorbikes are not going to go anywhere, you know?' said Lily. 'You could just take it easy.'

'It's going to be busy in town later, being the first official day of summer and all,' said Erwin in response. 'And neither Severus nor I appreciate dealing with too many people so we'd like to go early.'

Severus excused himself from the table the moment he was finished so he could have a quick rinse and throw on some fresh clothes before heading out. Not that it mattered much, because the moment he and Erwin stepped outside it felt as if a waterfall had started to pour down his face again.

'Are you certain that sunblock of yours works?' asked Erwin as he squinted his eyes against the sun.

'Lily's been good so far,' said Severus, 'but I wasn't prepared for this kind of weather. I doubt my little drop of Indian blood is going to save me this time around.'

'You think you could possibly make more?' asked Erwin as he opened the car, and a wave of heat came rolling out.

'If I could get my hands on the ingredients somehow, then yes,' said Severus as he closed the car door behind him. 'Maybe the Weasleys will have what I need. It doesn't take much more than a day to make.'

Erwin had come prepared. He pulled out two leather gloves from his pockets and put them on his hands before touching the metal steering wheel. 'Another reason to want a motorcycle,' growled Erwin under his breath, 'is so you can feel the wind on your face and not deal with any of this hot nonsense.'

Fortunately, the trip to the city's center was a short one. Erwin had managed to capture a parking spot in a shadow of a building at the very end of the main street, and both men were relieved to step out of the car.

'It's not too busy yet,' said Erwin as his eyes shifted from left to right. 'I do hate this place when it becomes crowded.'

As far as Severus was concerned, it was already too busy. Lots of families with young children were walking from shop to shop to get their basic needs for the summer, and the noise was as unorganized as the Great Hall during dinner. 'It's in an alleyway a little further down the road isn't it?' asked Severus.

'Should be,' said Erwin. 'If I remember correctly there's a maintenance garage attached to it.'

Hastily, the two men slipped their way through the crowd, passing an apothecary, bookshop and several clothing shops along the way. On the very corner of the alley in which the motorbike shop was located, Severus stopped and looked through a window because something had suddenly caught his eye.

It was a jewelry shop, and on display were several wedding bands and engagement rings. Remember the conversation he had with Petunia this morning, he peeked through the window to see if there was anything that could potentially suit Lily.

'Planning on marrying my daughter are we?' said Erwin from behind him, and quickly Severus was pulled back to reality.

'I had a conversation with Petunia this morning,' said Severus, deciding that being honest was the best policy. 'She asked me if I wanted to marry Lily some day, and it got me thinking.'

'Didn't you mention wanting a traditional hand-fasting when we were driving home last night?' said Erwin with a grin, and started to look at the rings that were on display as well.

'I did,' said Severus, and felt himself grow red in the face that wasn't due to the sun. 'It's just—it's just that Lily and I have been a part of each other's lives for so long, it's difficult to imagine a life in which we would go our separate ways.'

'You think she'd like that one?' said Erwin as he pointed at a simple looking ring. 'You and I both know she's not the jewelry type.'

'I have absolutely no idea,' said Severus, still staring at the ring Erwin had pointed out. 'Good thing she doesn't have an expensive taste. It's not like I can afford anything that's smothered in diamonds.'

'You're being quite serious about this, aren't you?' asked Erwin as he turned to Severus. 'Don't you think you're a little young to be thinking about this yet?'

'Didn't you marry Arnica when you were young?' asked Severus. 'You weren't that much older than Lily and I are now if I recall correctly.'

'That is true,' said Erwin with a nod. 'But that was a different time, Severus. Society was much more traditional. Life wasn't as prosperous and not to mention there was a war—'

Erwin stopped himself midsentence and let out a sigh when he realised what he was saying. 'We still need to talk about your war, don't we?' he asked.

'We do,' said Severus in a serious manner. 'There are some important developments in the magical world that I think you should know about. Which reminds me, when exactly do we plan on telling Arnica about it? I have a feeling we shouldn't keep her in the dark any longer than necessary.'

'We're going to visit the Weasleys by the end of the week,' said Erwin. 'I think it would be wise if we told her, and Petunia for the matter, with Molly and Arthur around. Both of them are associated with Dumbledore's Order and are able to explain it in better detail than I do.'

'That's probably the best idea,' said Severus. 'There's something else that I wanted to tell you though. It's—'

'Save it for after we find you a motrbike,' said Erwin. 'Unless of course you plan on buying that ring instead.'

Severus bit his lip and shook his head. 'Would you honestly approve if I were to bring that ring home with me and propose on the spot?'

'It's not so much the proposal, Severus,' said Erwin with a smile, 'but my advice is to wait for marriage until at least after both of you graduate from Hogwarts. Which reminds me, I don't think you're even of legal age yet to get married.'

'We are of legal age in Scotland,' said Severus jokingly. 'But you are right. Marriage is not a priority right now.'

'Come on,' said Erwin with a smile as he stirred Severus away from the jewelry shop's window. 'We've got a motorbike to buy.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Hadrian's Wall is the ancient wall that divides Scotland from England. It's also known as the marriage line because in Scotland it is legal to marry at age sixteen, while in England the legal age to marry is eighteen.


	135. Triumph Bonneville T120 III

Severus could hear "Highway Star" by Deep Purple blasting through the speakers as they entered the motorbike shop. The whole place reeked of oil, leather and grease, and admittedly, it smelled good.

'Can I help you two gentlemen?' asked a scruffy looking man who was sitting behind a desk.

'Yes,' said Erwin, 'my son and I are both looking for a new motorbikes.'

The man was eyeing Severus was a questionable look as if he was trying to figure out whether the two men could possibly be genetically related. 'You got a license kid?'

Severus bit his lip to prevent himself from lashing out at being referred to as a "kid". 'Well I, I—'

'I do,' said Erwin quickly. 'Is it safe to assume that if he buys a bike we could have it registered under my name?'

'You can do that,' the man confirmed. 'Just make sure he's the proper age to ride a bike though. It's been changed from sixteen to seventeen back in seventy-two.'

'I suppose a lot of things have changed since the last time I rode a motorbike,' said Erwin, and patted Severus on the back as if to say that he shouldn't worry too much.

'You're probably from that time when helmets weren't compulsory are you, sir?' said the man with a lopsided grin. 'Good times they were. They put so much emphasis on safety nowadays you can hardly enjoy the thing you wanted to do in the first place. So, you looking for something brand new or second-hand?'

'Preferably second-hand,' said Severus. 'For me at least. Got any Triumph's by any chance?'

'Yeah we do actually,' said the man. 'Got a nice Bonneville model in the garage. Build in fifty-nine but still in excellent condition. Just follow me.'

Through a backdoor they were led to a garage where a motorbike was currently being worked on. 'This is the one,' said the man. 'As you can see it's been repainted. Most of these only came in Pearl Grey or a Tangerine colour. The previous owner made this one black so I guess he just wasn't a fan of it.'

'I'm not complaining,' said Severus, admiring the bike from a distance. 'Does it still need a lot of work?'

The man shook his head. 'All it needed was a bit of a touch-up is all,' he said. 'Had some rusty spots due to some water damage but all the original bits are still on it. What's so wonderful but this fifty-nine model is that back then it was considered the fastest one around. Said it could reach up to one-twenty miles an hour. Truth is that you can reach little over a hundred if you really push it. Still, quite fast for a bike that old. Want to take a closer look?'

Severus didn't hesitate to approach it, and caressed the handles with a certain gentleness that he usually reserved for Lily alone. 'She's a beauty. Minor dents and all.'

'Have you ever rode a bike before?' asked the man. 'If you have, I could let you ride a circle in the back street.'

Severus shook his head. 'I'll admit I've only ever admired them from afar until now.'

'I'll make a test ride,' said Erwin eagerly. 'At least if you don't mind me doing so Severus.'

'Please do,' said Severus as he let go of the handle. 'You're a better judge about these things than I am.'

The man took the keys from a wall locker and indicated that they should follow him through another garage door that led to the other side of the main street. 'Just make sure you remain on this street sir,' he said. 'The coppers tend to make a fuss otherwise.'

'Will do,' said Erwin, and he sat down on the motorbike with a certain grace as if he was suddenly a young man again.

A low roaring sound rumbled through the exhaust pipes the moment Erwin had managed to give it a proper kick-start. Swiftly he shifted between gears, and sped off to the other side of the street. He returned within the span of a few seconds, looking as excited as a child in a candy shop. 'Severus,' he said as he took the key out of the ignition, 'don't even bother looking for other models. You're getting this one.'

'Depends on how much money he's got to spend don't you think?' said the man. 'Got a maximum kid?'

Now that he came to think of it, Severus wasn't sure anymore what the value of the British pound was now that it was the seventies again, and had to do a quick calculation to avoid blurting out a number that was way too high. 'Seven hundred max,' he said, 'but I'd prefer to settle for a little less.'

'Will do,' said the man. 'This one's going for six hundred I believe. Most of the newer models we have in the shop cost more than seven hundred. Still want to take a look though?'

A part of him did want to look just to be sure, but on the other hand he had fallen in love with a Triumph Bonneville before, and to have one presented to him like that at an affordable price was just too good of an opportunity not to take advantage of. 'I will, but mostly for him though,' he said with a nod in Erwin's direction. 'He still wants to get a bike for himself.'

'No idea,' said Erwin as they followed the man back to the front side of the shop. 'What other brands you got?'

The man led them into the presentation room, and the chrome that came from the many motorbikes that were presented was shimmering brightly in the sunlight. 'Let's see here,' he said. 'We got some AMCs, James Cycles, Royal Enfield…all British models.'

'Royal Enfield you say?' asked Erwin with delight. 'Any war-time models by any chance?'

'As a matter of fact we do,' said the man. 'Got a C-five model right here.' He pointed at an army green motorbike, and Erwin looked at it in a way Severus had only ever seen him look at Arnica.

'I used to own one of these,' Erwin muttered under his breath as he touched the headlight. 'I had one when I was still in service.'

'You a veteran, sir?' asked the man.

'Yes,' said Erwin dreamily. 'I recall many great adventures on these beauties.'

'My old man was a vet,' said the man with a hint of pride. 'If you'd like I could make a special price for this one. I'd like to see it go to someone who's got some special affinity with it.'

'How much do you want for it?' asked Erwin without taking his eyes of the bike.

'It goes for a thousand,' said the man, 'but I'll give it to you for eight fifty.'

Erwin bit his lip and sweat started to form on his forehead. 'Severus, I could afford it,' he said, 'but that leaves me with very little money that we need for when we go to Amsterdam; not to mention my eldest is going to Oxford after the summer. '

'I could chip in a bit,' said Severus. 'Either for this motorbike or for Amsterdam. That doesn't matter.'

It was obvious that Erwin was dealing with an internal struggle. 'The last thing I want is asking for money from my own children,' he said.

'Consider it a gift for taking me into your home then,' said Severus. 'It's obvious you want it. Grand yourself the satisfaction until you grow too old to be riding a bike.'

'Fair enough,' said Erwin, although he still didn't look too pleased with the idea of Severus paying for anything at all. 'I'd like to make one test ride. If it feels the way I remember it, I'll buy it.'

And like that, the motorbike was taken to the back alley so Erwin could have another test ride.

In the end, Severus ended up paying five hundred pounds for the Triumph and Erwin ended up paying eighth hundred for the Royal Enfield. Both of them were signed up on Erwin's name, and with the promise of both motorbikes being delivered to their home by the end of the day, the two men left the motorbikes shop with seemingly lighter pockets and made their way to the back alley to avoid the busy main street.

'Can't believe we just did that,' said Severus happily. 'Wasn't even necessary to look at other bikes to be sure.'

'Want a cigarette?' asked Erwin as he held out a pack. 'I think we deserved it.'

'Now all I need is a helmet and a leather jacket,' said Severus as he lit the cigarette with a snap of his fingers. For a split second he wondered if something were to suddenly happen he could just apparate away from the motorbike, but then again, he wondered if he was quick enough to do so if an accident were to happen at high speed. Considering that, or at least he hoped, that Lily would be joining him too, it wasn't worth the risk riding without protective gear.

'I think I still got some old nazi helmets laying around in a box somewhere,' said Erwin. 'Might as well use those if we really have to.'

Severus looked at Erwin with a tilted eye. 'I think I'd prefer to get something that draws a little less attention.'

Erwin just shrugged. 'A lot of greasers do it nowadays,' he said. 'But you're probably right. There's a leather shop not to far down the road from here. We could follow this alley all the way up there and see what they got.'

With the money they had managed to save by haggling a bit with the price at the motorbike shop, they each ended up buying a brand new pair of combat boots and leather jackets. At a second-hand shop they managed to find a couple of undamaged open-face helmets. Severus bought two, as he figured Lily might want one if she dared to ride with him.

'I don't think I have ever looked this much like a common Muggle before,' said Severus once they had made their way back to the car. 'I wonder what Lily's going to think once she sees all this.'

'Oh Lily used to love my old leather jacket,' said Erwin as he started the car. 'She used to sleep under it if it got cold out. I think it's still in the shed somewhere in some long-forgotten box. I no longer fit it though.'

Erwin's mention of the shed got Severus thinking. 'Where exactly are we going to leave the bikes once they bring it to us?' he asked.

'Uhm…good question, Severus,' said Erwin. ' Maybe it's a good thing Arnica is forcing you two to work around the house all summer. We could go clear out the shed from all the junk that's in it. Should leave enough space for two bikes, don't you think?'

'It should,' said Severus. 'Mind if I tell you what happened at school before we're home again?'

'Do tell,' said Erwin.

Severus lowered his voice. 'Is auror Moody still roaming the streets from time to time?' he asked.

'Haven't seen him around in a while,' said Erwin. 'Should he be?'

'I'm not sure,' said Severus. 'I hope he is though. You remember that painting Petunia gave me for Christmas?'

'Yes that family portrait she made,' said Erwin proudly. 'Why? Did something happen with it?'

'It's been stolen the day before Lily and I came back home,' said Severus sharply.

Erwin's face fell from proud to troubled in the blink of an eye. 'Anyone who might be out to get us?' he asked.

'I'm afraid this is my fault,' said Severus as he stared out of the window, and saw the sky high chimney of the largest factory in the city cast a shadow on the streets.

'Tell me all about it when we're clearing out that shed,' said Erwin. 'I highly doubt this problem lies with you alone. I know that the man-who-mustn't-be-named is out to get the families of Muggleborn people too.'

'I think I know who stole it,' said Severus. 'Problem however, is that he's going to a different school after the summer. His entire family is connected to the Dark Lord's supporters, and him and I haven't exactly been on friendly terms.'

The look of concern on Erwin's face was growing deeper with each passing moment. 'You think my family is in serious danger, Severus?' he asked.

Severus hated admitting to it. 'I believe so,' he said bitterly.

'In that case I have never been more grateful for knowing the Weasleys,' said Erwin. 'Try to look a little bit more excited once we get home, okay? You just bought a motorbike after all.'

Severus couldn't help but smile a little despite the confession he had just made. 'Cant wait for my bike to arrive,' he said. 'I haven't been this excited about something since Lily went on a date with me.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Deep Purple – Highway Star (1972)
> 
> A/N The legal age for motorcyclists in the UK was changed from 16 to 17 in 1972. Wearing a helmet became compulsory in 1973. It wasn't uncommon to see "greaser gangs" wearing stolen nazi helmets because of that.
> 
> A/N The Triumph Bonneville T120 that was used in the movies was a white one, although most models actually did come in Pearly Gray and Tangerine. Yes, all the things described about the mentioned motorcycles in this chapter are factual.
> 
> A/N I had to do some very rough mathematics here since I couldn't find any original prices online. They go for roughly 8700 pounds today (2015) if in good (but not excellent) condition. In 1976, between 630 pounds and 1400 pounds is roughly the equivalent of 8700 pounds today.


	136. Triumph Bonneville T120 IV

'What are you laughing at?' asked Severus.

Lily's eyes were glistering, and an obviously suppressed grin had formed on her face. 'It's just—I don't think I've ever seen you in so much leather before.'

'Mind if I take these boots off now?' asked Severus with a frown. 'It feels like I got two small swimming pools strapped to my feet.'

Arnica was looking equally as amused at her husband as Lily did to Severus. 'So if I understand correctly, you two are going to clear out the shed?' she asked.

'Yes we are,' said Erwin. 'Going to need that space for when our bikes are delivered. They should be here by the end of the day.'

As Erwin and Arnica fell into conversation, Lily turned to Severus. 'I can't wait to see you on your bike,' she said just loud enough for him alone to hear. 'I suppose you look quite attractive with a machine between your thighs.'

'I can only imagine how attractive you must look if you were to ride my bike,' said Severus in an attempt to sound seductive.

Lily bit her lip. 'Suppose I could give it a try,' she said, and leaned in to give him a kiss.

It was obvious that Lily was in the mood for something, and as much as Severus wished they could have something going, Erwin was already outside waiting for him to join.

With another quick kiss, Severus left Lily standing in the kitchen as he made his way outside.

'I've got to say, Severus,' said Erwin as he carried the first box out of the shed, 'that sunblock of yours really works. Ever thought about selling it for a profit?'

The very thought of having his name associated with something that was classified as a beauty product was the last thing Severus wanted to happen, but he couldn't deny that it was something he could definitely make a profit out of either. 'I got to think about that,' he said.

'You should,' said Erwin as he tossed a pile of old newspapers into a garbage bag. 'You're not earning anything from that werewolf potion you made either. Would be a shame to see your talent being wasted.'

'Lily's been thinking about starting her own brewing business,' said Severus. 'Has she told you that yet?'

Erwin looked up at Severus in surprise. 'I had no idea,' he said. 'I'll ask her about that during dinner tonight.'

From the dusty cobwebbed shelves, Severus started to collect very old rusty cans of motor oil. 'Maybe I should invent a type of motor oil that can be used on all types of motorbikes. Call it "Greasy Git Motorcycle Oil" by Snape Incorporated. Should be a hit among Greasers.'

Erwin let out a snort. 'That's not even such a bad idea, you know?' he said. 'Why not start a brewing company with Lily together?'

Severus tossed the empty cans into the garbage bag, but kept the one that had a little bit of oil left in it. He had meant it as a joke, but now that he came to think of it, maybe there was something he could do to improve the quality of motor oil. Either way it would be a fun potions project for over the summer.

'Oh would you look at that!' said Erwin suddenly after he had opened up another box. 'A whole bunch of memorabilia; and my old leather jacket.'

The zippers on the jacket were broken and much of the leather was cracked from not being properly greased over the years. 'Well, there's a lost cause if I've ever seen one,' said Erwin as he held the jacket up in the air. 'No longer fit it either.'

'Maybe Lily would like to keep it,' said Severus, remembering Erwin telling him how Lily used to sleep under it.

Erwin tossed the jacket in a small box for things to keep and continued to dig through the box of memorabilia. 'Here's an old picture of you and Lily,' said Erwin as he handed Severus an old polaroid photograph.

Severus had no recollection of this picture being taken. Judging by the ridiculous clothes he was wearing, he was certain it was made before their first year at Hogwarts. The picture was of them on the swings at the playground, looking at each other. The last time he had been there was with Dumbledore shortly after his mother died. Perhaps, if Arnica's strict schedule allowed it, he could take Lily up there again.

'I took that picture,' said Erwin. 'It was only a couple of weeks before the two of you went off to Hogwarts. I kept that in my wallet for a while…no clue how it ended up here.'

'Can I keep this?' asked Severus.

'Of course,' said Erwin as he pulled out another object from the box. 'And I just found the old wallet I used to keep it in. Just keep them both.'

'Thanks,' said Severus as he shoved the picture into the wallet. 'I think we should talk about some more serious matters now that we have some time alone.'

'Alright,' said Erwin with a nod of understanding. 'Care to explain a bit more thoroughly what happened to Petunia's painting?'

'Lily and I had our own lab at school,' Severus started off with. He fell into the story on how they had discovered that the lab had been broken into. How his belongings had been destroyed and how he came to the realisation that the painting hadn't been burned but stolen instead.

'And what made you say you believe this is your fault?' asked Erwin.

Severus let out a huff. 'I believe that the ones responsible for stealing the painting were the ones who I used to consider my friends,' he said bitterly. 'I turned my back on them because I didn't want to head the same way they were. Unfortunately they are not the forgiving type. I wouldn't be surprised if this is their way of getting back at me somehow.'

'And why exactly do they have a need to get back at you?' asked Erwin.

'Because I was once the one who led them,' said Severus, and he could feel the shame that came with it leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. 'Then last summer I had some time to reflect on my actions, and then Lily and I got together earlier this year...I should've been more careful with that painting, I really should have been—'

'—Severus,' said Erwin in a very serious manner, 'the fact that that painting was stolen is as much your fault as me and Arnica suddenly putting a magical child onto this planet. You can't keep beating yourself up over something you do not control.'

'Do you even understand what this entails, Erwin?' said Severus. 'It means that if any of the Death Eaters find a reason to go after Muggleborns again this family will be the first one on the list.'

'As I've said before, Severus,' said Erwin, and he looked up at Severus with the same piercing look that reminded him an awful lot of Dumbledore whenever he tried to make his point come across, 'we are very fortunate to know the Weasleys. We are also very fortunate to be acquainted with Dumbledore and his Order, and last but not least; we are very fortunate to have you.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' asked Severus.

Erwin couldn't help but chuckle. 'I means, Severus, that for once I am not the only man who will go through the depths of hell to keep this family safe.'

'What if we need to leave Cokeworth?' asked Severus. 'You think the girls would protest?'

'Arnica wouldn't,' said Erwin. 'Then again, she has lived through a time of war just as I have, and she'll understand the need of having to move away much more than Petunia or Lily will do.'

'The thing is,' Erwin added in a much more serious fashion, 'if there's one thing war has taught me is that it doesn't matter where you live or what you have; what matters is that everyone you love gets to live a fulfilled life.'

Severus nodded in understanding, and decided to ask a question that had been itching on his conscious. 'How does it feel, watching your own children preparing for war?'

Erwin lowered his voice. 'It's terrifying,' he said. 'You go through war yourself in the hope to create a better life for the ones that come after you; and to see your own children prepare for war makes you feel like you failed.'

'You can't beat yourself up over something you do not control,' said Severus with a grin. 'We are very fortunate to have you too.'

Erwin laughed this time. 'I should listen to my own advice, don't I?'

'What are you two talking about?' asked Lily suddenly, and Severus noticed she was carrying a basket full of laundry.

'That Vernon should shave that monstrosity of a thing he calls a moustache,' said Erwin as he picked up another box from the shelves. 'It's an insult to us proud moustache wearing men.'

Lily looked behind her to see if Petunia was anywhere near, and lowered her voice to a near whisper. 'Is he coming over one of these days?' she asked.

'After we return from the Weasleys,' said Erwin, and it was obvious in his tone of voice that he wasn't looking forward to it. 'Lets try to remain polite about it shall we?'

Lily shrugged but let out a noise of disgust all the same. 'I'm going to hang up some laundry,' she said. 'Mum wanted me to remind you to wash your own clothes as well, Sev.'

'Will do,' said Severus, and watched her enter the garden through the windows of the shed.

'There's something else that I wanted to talk to you about Severus,' said Erwin. 'Your father.'

…

Right after dinner, a delivery truck had arrived bringing the two motorbikes they had bought earlier that morning. Even Arnica was excited to see the Royal Enfield, and quickly started to recall memories from road trips she and Erwin had made before they had children.

For a while they admired the bikes until Arnica told Petunia and Lily they should prepare to leave if they still wanted to go to the cinema. Once they were gone, Erwin had taken the Triumph to the road up front so he could start explaining every little detail to Severus before firing up the engine. From how to shift between gears to how to properly use the front and back breaks, Severus eventually got the hang of how everything worked and felt confident enough to drive a circle around the block.

Erwin made him practice some slalom techniques by using some pawns he had found in the shed, and they decided to call it a day by the time the street lanterns were lit.

Severus had to give Lily credit for what she had said earlier. There was something very empowering about controlling a heavy machine by sitting on it, and road trips involving Lily with her arms wrapped around him as they rode through the countryside started to fill his imagination.

'We'll do all of this again tomorrow,' said Erwin. 'When I'm confident enough you got everything under control we could ride to town and back together, if you'd like.'

'I'd like that,' said Severus as he pulled the Triumph onto its standard in the shed, and locked the door behind him. 'The sooner I get it down, the better. Maybe I could ride it to the Weasleys by next week.'

'And then we could have Petunia and Arnica drive the cars there,' said Erwin. 'We still need to bring back the Ford I borrowed as well.'

Erwin called it a night when Severus went up to the bathroom to wash up a bit. It was simply too hot to sleep in the attic, and so he decided that sleeping on the couch was a better option for as long as the heat wave lasted.

He had just taken off his shirt and trousers and settled on the couch underneath a thin sheet, when suddenly he heard Lily whisper behind him. 'Hey, Sev,' she said softly. 'Can't really sleep in these weather conditions either, can you?'

'Not really,' he said as he flicked on the light, and saw that Lily was wearing one of his shirts to sleep in.

'Hope you don't mind I borrowed one of your shirts,' she said. 'It's more comfy than a pair of pajamas right now.'

'I don't mind,' he said with a grin, and petted the couch to say that she should come and sit next to him. 'It looks like a flag on a conquered fortress.'

'Oh so I'm a damsel you conquered now eh,' said Lily teasingly, and instead of sitting beside him she sat down on his lap and leaned against his shoulder. 'I must say, you look like a proper rocker now that you got a motorbike to match with it.'

'I love that thing,' he said, already feeling excited about hopping back on the next morning. 'You should come watch me struggle riding it tomorrow.'

'I'd like that,' said Lily, and she started planting kisses in his neck that made his skin cover in goosebumps.

Severus ran his hands over her soft bare legs and made his way up until he reached the bottom of her shirt, contemplating whether he wanted to caress more of her skin or not.

'Just touch me,' she whispered into his ear, and when he was absolutely sure he heard no stirring noises coming from upstairs, he lifted up her shirt and pulled it over her head, exposing her bare breasts in the process.

Very gently he started making circles around her nipples with his fingers, causing Lily to bite her own fist to prevent herself from making involuntary noises.

'As much as I want to right now,' said Severus as he felt that familiar throbbing feeling in his lower abdomen, 'I will not make love to you on this couch.'

'I know we shouldn't,' said Lily as she gave him another kiss that made his question everything he just said. 'I had _that_ talk with mum and Tuney when we went to the cinema. Apparently dad was supposed to have _that_ talk with you too as well.'

'He already did when I spoke with him right after I got my Order of Merlin,' said Severus. 'Said something along the lines of breaking my kneecaps if I got you pregnant.'

Lily let out a snort. 'I almost forgot about that. What did you two talk about today then?'

'He's going to arrange a meeting for me with my father,' said Severus. 'It may be my last chance of discovering what happened.'

'Would you like me to be there?' asked Lily. 'Not for the conversation itself I mean but—for when you come out again.'

'I would like that,' said Severus. 'Maybe we shouldn't talk about my father right now though. Not with you being all naked and beautiful while sitting on my lap.'

'Can I stay with you tonight?' asked Lily as she nuzzled up against his shoulder.

'You think you'll be awake before your parents will be?' asked Severus. 'I do prefer to keep my kneecaps intact.'

'I'll take the risk,' said Lily. 'I'm sure Tuney won't tell if she sees that I'm gone.'

Severus made himself comfortable on the couch again while Lily lay down on her side and used his arm as a pillow. It wasn't the first time they had slept together like this, and it certainly wouldn't be the last time either, and yet, he couldn't help but feel his spirit rise a bit whenever she exposed herself to him like this.

It felt good to be trusted.


	137. Triumph Bonneville T120 V

Severus was awoken by the sound of someone stirring in the kitchen. Within a flash he remembered that Lily had been sleeping right next to him on the couch, and was relieved to see that she was no longer lying next to him.

'Lily, is that you?' asked Severus as he quickly threw his clothes on.

'Mornin' said Lily sleepily as she walked into the living room, and Severus noticed that she was already fully dressed. 'Can you help me set up the table for breakfast?'

'Are you absolutely certain Petunia won't tell on us?' asked Severus as he went straight to work.

'Positive,' said Lily. 'Just talked to her when I went up to get dressed. She's not going to cover our arses if mum and dad do find out though.'

'I wouldn't expect her to do so,' said Severus, and pulled Lily into a tight embrace. 'Wish we could spend every night like this together.'

'Some day we will,' said Lily with a smile as she ran her hands through his hair. 'But for now, make sure you know how to ride that bike so I can join you when we go visit the Weasleys.'

'You sure you trust me enough after only a week of riding that thing?' asked Severus.

'You learn quick,' said Lily. 'Just like you do with everything else. I'm pretty sure it's safe enough for me to hop on and hold on tight.'

'Could you two get a room?' said Petunia suddenly as she turned around the corner. 'Honestly, it's so weird to be seeing you two being so handsy with each other.'

'I bet you wished Vernon would touch you this way,' said Lily teasingly, causing Petunia to glare angrily at her.

'I am _this_ close to selling you out to mum and dad,' said Petunia sourly while holding up her thumb and index finger an inch apart.

'Like you'd dare,' Lily sneered back, now glaring back at her sister. 'When's Vernon coming over anyway?'

'Didn't dad tell you he's coming over after we meet the Weasley family?' said Petunia. 'He's also coming with to Amsterdam you know.'

Lily loud out a loud groan. 'But why?' she whined. 'He isn't even remotely interested in art and all that.'

'At least he's trying to understand what I love so much about it,' said Petunia. 'He's even paying for his own plane ticket. You'll probably have to share a room at the hotel with him though, Severus.'

It was Severus's turn to let out a loud groan. 'If he snores I will have to suffocate him with a pillow,' he said. 'But honestly, I'd prefer to pay for my own room than share one with him.'

'I wasn't even aware we were going to fly to Amsterdam,' said Lily. 'That'll be a first.'

As Lily and Petunia fell into a conversation about Amsterdam, the more Severus felt like he preferred to stay home alone instead. The very prospect of having to share a space with Vernon was cringe worthy to say the least, and the idea of having to step into a flying metal tube invented by Muggles in order to get there made it even worse.

A moment later Erwin and Arnica came downstairs for breakfast. After that, Severus and Lily were given a whole list of things that needed to be done. The windows needed to be washed as Arnica predicted that soon they could no longer use as much water as they wanted due to the heat wave. They were also given money to fill the fridge up with groceries, and Severus took the opportunity to wash all of his clothes that he had kept in his trunk since the day he arrived home.

It wasn't until all the dishes were done after lunch that Severus and Erwin finally had some time to practice riding their motorbikes again.

Shifting between gears was still tricky, but at least Severus managed to get the slaloming down quite easily, and soon Erwin felt confident enough for them to make a short trip to town and back, teaching Severus to pay attention to specific road signs and rules along the way.

'You know what we should do,' said Erwin as they pulled into the street upfront of the house, 'have Lily sit on the back so I can take a picture of the two of you.'

'You still got that polaroid camera you took that other picture I got with?' asked Severus. 'I would like another one for in my wallet.'

'I do,' said Erwin. 'Still got a pack of films in the fridge as well. If you can wait out here I'll fetch Lily and the camera. I think she'd like a picture too.'

As Severus waited outside for Lily to show up, he saw the same tortoiseshell cat making his way back to where their new neighbour, misses Figg, was living. He remembered Petunia mentioning something about misses Figg being a cat breeder, and secretly he wondered if there was a way to convince Arnica if he could get a cat. He was going to take it back to school with him, after all.

'Looking good, Sev,' said Lily as she approached him a moment later, and was already supporting the helmet Severus had given her under her arm. 'Think you dare to ride around in a circle with me?'

'As long as we stay within the city's boundaries, I think I'm confident enough to do so,' said Severus. 'Did Erwin tell you he wants to take a picture of us?'

'The film needs to warm up a bit first,' said Lily. 'Come on, I want to feel some wind on my face.'

Once Lily had put on her helmet and was settled behind him, Severus gave the bike a proper kick-start and drove off.

'This is great, Sev!' said Lily happily, and had to half-yell in order for Severus to hear her. 'Maybe I should get my own motorbike too.'

'What if I got you one for your next birthday?' asked Severus as he smoothly turned around a corner.

'Thought you were already going to give me a guitar?' said Lily. 'You should be careful, or I might just turn into a very spoiled girlfriend.'

'Can't I spoil my own girlfriend then?' Severus teased.

'It's just that I'd feel bad if there's nothing I could do for you in return,' said Lily.

'You could help me convince your parents to get a cat,' said Severus. 'Think they'll accept if I take it with me to school after the summer?'

'Pretty sure dad wouldn't mind,' said Lily. 'Not sure about mum though. Cats tend to give her the sniffles.'

They had reached the main street where Severus had bought the motorbike the day before. The street wasn't remotely as busy now. Along the way they passed the jewelry store where he had been looking at rings with Erwin. For a moment he was tempted to stop and take another look, but he knew if he did that he wasn't going to hear the end of it from Lily, and so he quietly passed it imagining the many ways in which he wanted to propose to her at some point in the future.

'I think we should head back, Sev,' said Lily after a while. 'Dad should be ready by now.'

With another smooth turn, Severus turned around and passed the motorcycle shop again and used the back street to make his way back home, the idea of one day marrying the woman behind him still fresh on his mind.

'Any idea how long we're actually staying at the Weasleys?' asked Severus. 'I recon it's more than just a day.'

'Definitely more than just a day, but I'm not sure for how long exactly,' said Lily. 'Knowing Molly though, she'll probably try to keep us around until it's time for us to head back to Hogwarts.'

'Thought she was going to have another baby by the end of the summer?' said Severus. 'At least Arthur told me that's when she's due if I remember correctly.'

'Woah you're right,' said Lily excitedly. 'I nearly forgot about that; and we get to meet little William, think they call him Bill though, and Charlie too!'

If there was one thing that Severus had entirely miscalculated, it was the age that the Weasley children were. He had grown so used to seeing all of them over the age of eleven, he hadn't even realised that the first ones were still toddlers at this point.

'You think your parents will allow me to take you out camping when we're out there then?' asked Severus, also feeling it was a good excuse not having to spend too much time around a pair of toddlers. 'Ottery St Catchpole isn't that far from Dartmoor national park, is it?'

'It's very close to Ottery St Mary along the River Otter,' said Lily. 'Dartmoor is still quite a ride from there though. And whether my parents will allow it…I guess we'll just have to be on mum's best behaviour until we get there.'

'Maybe we could still use the excuse that we still need to work on our Astronomy summer project,' said Severus as he pulled the motorbike right up front the house. 'It's bound to be completely dark out there. That's just what we need.'

'I'm going to leave it up to you to do the convincing, Sev,' said Lily, 'as I'm not sure if, especially mum, finds it a good idea for me to go off alone somewhere with my boyfriend for obvious reasons.'

'I'll see what I can do,' said Severus. 'I think I see Erwin coming.'

'I must say dad,' said Lily once Erwin had walked up to them, 'Sev's a natural.'

Both Lily and Severus took off their helmets, leaving, especially Lily, with very wild hair from the wind they caught riding along town.

Erwin already had the camera readied in his hands. 'Hope you don't mind it's monochrome film,' he said. 'If I cover the flash I should be able to take a picture without it being too overexposed.'

'Thought you hated getting your picture taken, Sev,' said Lily as she wrapped her arms tightly around his middle, and rested her head against his back.

'And I still do,' said Severus, 'but I figured I'd shove my pride aside since we don't have that many pictures of us together.'

'You two ready?' asked Erwin as he held up the camera.

'Ready,' said Severus as he placed his hands on top of Lily's.

With a click the picture was taken, and a moment later a polaroid came rolling out of the camera. 'I'll take this inside so it can dry for a while,' said Erwin. 'What are you two going to do?'

Severus looked behind him at Lily, and nodded. 'Still want to learn how to ride this thing?' he asked.

'I'd like to give it a try,' said Lily. 'You don't mind, dad?'

'Just be careful you two,' said Erwin as he turned around to head back to the house. 'And don't let Arnica see you do anything reckless.'

Eagerly Lily stepped off the bike and shoved Severus aside to take his place. 'Come on, Sev,' she said excitedly. 'Teach me how to ride this thing.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Ottery St Mary is an actual place in Devon and is located along the River Otter. It's very likely (though only speculated) that Ottery St Catchpole was named after it as it is very near Exeter, where Rowling went to university.


	138. The Warm Welcoming of the Weasleys

And so several days passed. Erwin and Severus spend almost every moment they could catch riding their motorbikes around town. Eventually Severus grew confident enough to hit the motorway and hit close to a hundred miles an hour, causing Erwin to race up to him and remind him that seventy miles an hour was still the speed limit if they wanted to avoid any trouble with the police.

By Monday morning the whole family had their bags packed and were ready to head to Devon. It wasn't going to be a trip with much interaction, as Petunia was driving the Austin while Arnica was driving the Ford Anglia there, while Erwin, Severus and Lily were taking the motorbikes.

'Alright,' said Erwin, 'the easiest way to get there is to follow the Themes to Oxford. From there on we can take the road southwards passed Newbury until we hit an intersection and head west again. I suppose we could take a short break in Andover for a bite to eat and then continue until we reach the River Otter. From there on I'll take the lead as The Burrow is quite hidden out there.'

'Are you ready?' asked Severus as Lily settled herself behind him on the bike.

'I am,' said Lily as she wrapped her arms tightly around his middle. 'Can't wait to find out how fast you can go with this thing.'

'I'm not going to pull a hundred when you're sitting right behind me,' said Severus as he gave his bike a kick-start.

'Oh come on,' Lily whined. 'Just let me feel some wind on my face now that we have the chance.'

'If something were to happen to you I will not be able to live with myself,' said Severus as little louder after he started riding.

'I have complete faith in you, Sev,' said Lily loudly. 'And besides, I know you like to ride fast!'

After passing Oxford, Severus couldn't help himself but to give in to Lily's pleads. Taking some distance first between the rest of the riding family, he sped up and pushed the bike passed a hundred miles an hour, causing his vision to turn into a tunnel as the environment formed a blur around him. Soon, he had caught up with Erwin again, and slowed down to the appropriate speed beside him.

'That was great, Sev!' yelled Lily from the back. 'Could you do that again?'

Severus shot Erwin an apologetic look before he created distance again so he could speed up properly. 'Last time, alright?' he yelled. 'Hold on!'

Once more, Severus sped up and pushed his bike to go as fast as a hundred and ten, causing him to lie nearly flat against his steering wheel while Lily was squealing in delight from going so fast. 'I love it!' yelled Lily once they caught up with the rest again.

Erwin shot Severus a look as if to say that he was really pushing his boundaries at the moment. 'That was the last time, Lily,' said Severus. 'I prefer not to get in trouble with the police.'

'And that's why you were sorted into Slytherin and not in Gryffindor,' said Lily proudly. 'Are we close to Andover yet that you know?'

'I'd say in about forty-five minutes,' said Severus.

Within forty-five minutes they had made it to Andover, and had entered the nearest pub for a bite to eat.

'Mum,' said Lily after they all had ordered plates of fish and chips, 'have you actually met the Weasleys before?'

'I have,' said Arnica. 'Only twice though. It's how we got to borrow Arthur's car in the first place, and Molly is such a lovely lady.'

'I love Molly,' said Lily. 'She was always looking after us when we were first years. I haven't seen her in such a long time.'

'Her sons are adorable too,' said Arnica. 'And she's getting really big. I think she's hoping for a girl this time.'

Severus could argue that Molly was going to be disappointed quite a few more times before that would actually happen, but of course, that was something that would be better left unspoken.

'Arthur told me that Molly's twin brothers are coming over to visit as well,' said Erwin. 'Gideon and Fabian, they're also in the Or—no, never mind that.'

'Never mind what?' asked Arnica sharply. 'Look, I know that there is something going on. Is it something that I am finally going to find out by the time we get there?'

'Yes,' said Erwin in confirmation. 'There are a couple of things that you need to know that are best explained with Molly and Arthur around.'

Arnica looked over at Severus and Lily as if she was trying to read their minds. 'I hate it when important things are kept secret from me,' she said. 'Is it something very serious?'

'It is,' said Severus right before Erwin could come up with an excuse. 'There is something going on in the wizarding world that I think you and Petunia should know about as well.'

'Did you two get involved in something you shouldn't be involved in?' asked Arnica. 'If there is, you could just tell me right now you know.'

'I'm afraid neither Lily nor I have much of a choice on that matter,' said Severus as he casually tried to eat his fried cod. 'But as Erwin said, it's easier to explain with Arthur and Molly around.'

'Should I be worried?' asked Arnica as she looked at Lily, and Severus knew Lily would not be able to lie against her own mother.

'Yes,' said Lily softly as she played around with her chips. 'It's just that there's something going on in our world that isn't quite, _right.'_

'I promise we will tell you everything once we get there,' said Erwin as he gave his wife a kiss. 'Try not to ponder too much about it for now, alright?'

'Little late for that, don't you think?' said Arnica stiffly. 'Whatever it is, I hope I know by the end of the day. I've been waiting for an explanation for far too long now.'

'We'll tell you everything there is to you need to know,' said Severus. 'And Petunia as well.'

Not much else was being said until they hit the road again. Severus got distracted with the idea of sharing the news with Arnica that there was a war on the rise. No matter how he twisted or turned the words on how to break it to her, he knew it was going to end up with Arnica in tears and questing whether he and Lily should return to Hogwarts. Then there was also the case with Petunia. She had only just come to terms with the fact that she was related to a witch, and how she would respond to the idea of there being a war in the wizarding world she stood so closely to might just turn her opinion on anything magical around in the opposite direction.

Lily didn't say much along the way, and Severus could sense that she was just as worried on what was about to come as he and Erwin were.

After a while Erwin took the lead on the motorway until they passed a sign that read Ottery St Mary. A little further passed the small village, an odd-looking road sign appeared out of nothing and read "Ottery St Catchpole. _Magical and Muggle community.'_

Severus figured that only him and Lily were able to read the sign, and so it was a good thing that Erwin seemed to know where he was going. He knew they had truly entered the magical part of town when he spotted a whole cluster of whomping willows in the distance. Passing several more hills, a very odd looking house came into view that was clearly being held up by magic.

'Looks like we're finally here!' said Lily excitedly. 'This is such a beautiful place.'

'The house or the environment?' asked Severus, 'because I have to admit that this is a very beautiful town.'

Erwin parked his motorbike behind a fence that had "The Burrow" slapped across it, and Severus, Petunia and Arnica soon followed suit.

The moment Severus and Lily had taken off their helmets a plump witch immediately came wobbling her way up to them.

'Molly!' shrieked Lily as she flung her arms around her in a tight embrace. 'It is so good to see you again!'

'My goodness you've grown!' said Molly just as happily as she cupped Lily's face in her hands.

'Could say the same about you,' said Lily. 'Look at you, all big and beautiful!'

'It's good to see you, Molly,' said Erwin once he had the chance to shake hands with her. 'I would like to introduce you to my eldest daughter, Petunia.'

Petunia politely shook hands with Molly, but kept her eyes focused on the house with a look shifting between curiosity and suspicion.

'Please do all come inside,' said Molly and she pulled Lily by the hand to come in. 'Arthur's still inside with the—oh there he is!'

'Hello everyone!' said Arthur with a wave, and quickly noticed the two motorbikes that were parked up front. 'Oh are those the motor bicycles I heard you speak off last time we met?'

'They are indeed,' said Erwin, 'but we'll take a closer look at them later, shall we? I think the children would like to meet your sons first.'

Molly was already busy preparing lunch for all of them. Even for wizarding standards, Severus had to admit that the Weasley's home was particularly curious. From the wallpaper to the chairs around the kitchen table, everything seemed to be mismatched somehow.

Severus had not seen it happen, but both Petunia and Lily had already taken a hold of one of Molly's children before he had even entered the living area.

'They're adorable,' said Lily, and looked at who had to be Bill with a kind of love in her eyes that caused Severus's insides to squirm. 'Come here and meet them, Sev.'

Severus kind of figured that teaching potions to seven Weasley children for over a decade was more than enough for two lifetimes, but not wanting to disappoint Lily either, he walked up to her to say hello to Bill and Charlie.

'Congratulations on receiving an Order of Merlin, Severus,' said Molly as she suddenly pulled him into a motherly embrace. 'It's good to see some positive things happening in your life after all that hardship you've gone through.'

'I don't really care much for the Order to be honest,' said Severus. 'I can now officially call Lily my girlfriend though, which is much better than getting some award pinned on me.'

'You treat your lady well, Severus?' asked Molly strictly as her bright brown eyes pierced straight through him.

Lily answered before Severus could open his mouth. 'He's quite the gentleman I can assure you,' she said with a smile. 'His mother taught him well.'

'I'm glad to hear that,' said Molly with a nod of approval. 'Petunia dear, could you help me out in the kitchen so I can get to know you a bit better?'

'Certainly,' said Petunia as she waved at the two little boys, and followed Molly out of the living area.

'Come on Sev, they don't bite,' said Lily as she sat down on the ground to play with the children.

Reluctantly, Severus lowered himself to his knees until he came eye to eye with the three year old Charlie. 'So, you like dragons?' he asked the little boy in front of him.

Very shyly Charlie nodded his head as if to say that he did indeed love dragons. 'I do,' he said quietly.

'And have you got a favourite dragon? asked Severus, figuring that talk about dragons was at least something both him and Charlie could connect on.

As far as conversations with toddlers were possible, Severus continued to have some small talk with Charlie while Lily started chasing Bill around the house as he flew around on a toy broomstick, and came to find out that Charlie loved all sorts of creatures and that he definitely loved Horntails and wanted to fight one some day.

Severus was glad that having some small children around wasn't as much of a nuisance as he thought it would be, and secretly he felt a little bit of pride swelling up inside of him when Charlie trusted him enough to be picked up and carried into the kitchen when Molly came to summon them for lunch.

Their arrival may have come with a sense of lighthearted intent, but Severus knew that lunch also meant telling Petunia and Arnica the truth about what is happening in the wizarding world.

It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N About Andover: Andover was first mentioned in 950 when King Edred built a royal hunting lodge there. In 962 King Edgar called a meeting of the Saxon 'parliament', better known as the witenagemot, at that very same lodge.
> 
> A/N William 'Bill' Arthur Weasley. Born 29th of November 1970, making him 5 years old at this point. Charlie Weasley. Born 12th of December 1972, making him 3 years old at this point.


	139. About the War I

'Please eat some more, Severus,' said Molly as she forced yet another sandwich into his hands. 'You are far to skinny for your own good.'

'But I've gained some weight this past year already!' said Severus desperately, and looked at Lily with pleading eyes in the hope she could make Molly stop force feeding him.

'Just eat it, Sev,' said Lily as she shot him an apologetic look. 'You're not going to win this fight.'

Very slowly, Severus started nibbling on the edges of his sandwich, wondering if it was actually humanly possible for a stomach to explode from eating too much.

'That's better,' said Molly, looking satisfied at the sight of Severus struggling to eat the whole sandwich.

'I think it's time for us to say something about why we are here,' said Erwin suddenly as he put his cutlery down. 'My wife has tolerated my secrecy regarding this matter for far too long I'm afraid.'

Severus could tell that Erwin was nervous for what was about to come. A silence fell over the otherwise chatty kitchen, as if subconsciously everyone was trying to decide who was going to break the news.

It was Arthur who decided to break the news, and stood up from the table. 'Arnica, Petunia,' he said in a serious tone that was very unlike how own, 'over the past couple of years there has been something going on in our world, the wizarding world, that has been a growing cause of concern to many.'

Severus could feel Lily's hand resting on his leg, and he placed his own hand on top of hers, sensing that she was expecting her mother to have an outburst at any moment.

'A man who's name we prefer not to mention,' continued Arthur, 'has slowly been gaining power and followers over the years, casting quite a shadow on our society.'

'Is this a political matter?' asked Arnica darkly, and it looked as if a shadow started to cast over her.

'In many ways it is,' said Arthur. 'He has certain political ideologies that many of us fear. He believes, for example, that it is wizards who should be in a position of power, as he considers those who have magic to be superior. He also believes that those whose who were born with magic from non magical ancestry must have somehow stolen that ability, and should be taken out of society.'

Everyone turned their heads in Lily's direction. 'Pretty sure I didn't steal a damn thing,' said Lily as casually as she could. 'But Arthur's right mum, there is a movement on the rise that wants people like me to be taken out of society.'

Arnica suddenly grew very still. 'Is there anything else that he's after?' she asked in a timid voice.

'Total power,' said Arthur. 'We know that there are spies working with the Ministry. The trouble with that, of course, is that they are difficult to detect. The Ministry is slowly being infiltrated and there's nothing we can do about it.'

'And it has happened before, too,' said Severus. 'It happened during the same time as the second Muggle war. When Muggles were fighting Hitler, wizards were fighting Grindelwald.'

Molly shivered at the mention of Grindelwald. 'I am so relieved Dumbledore managed to have Grindelwald locked up in his own tower,' she said. 'He's still out there; biding his time, as he should be.'

'Is this something that we should be worried about?' asked Petunia, clearly still confused about the whole situation that just unfolded in front of her. 'I mean, I'm just trying to understand what is going to happen.'

Erwin drew a deep breath before he spoke up. 'It means, Petunia,' he said as clearly as he could, 'that we no longer live in a world without war. It is on the rise, and as history taught us, very hard to stop without putting men on the frontline.'

'No,' whimpered Arnica weakly. 'No this can't be true.' Swiftly she stood up from the table and headed straight for the backdoor, her face covered in tears.

'I better run after her,' said Erwin as he stood up in order to follow her. 'I have some explaining to do, and I better tell her about that painting too while we're at it.'

'Painting?' asked Petunia, who was still looking dumbfounded after all the words on war that had been exchanged.

'You remember the painting you made for me last Christmas?' said Severus, fully aware that Lily was about to be exposed to this secret too. 'It was stolen from me on the last day of school. What I fear is that our whole family might be targeted.'

'Our family portrait was stolen?' asked Lily sharply as she pulled away her hand from his knee. 'You knew all this time and you never told me!'

Petunia seemed to have understood the seriousness of the situation, because suddenly she started shaking in fear. 'What's going to happen to us?' she whimpered. 'Are they coming for us? Whoever they are…'

'Petunia dear,' said Molly suddenly as she noticed the situation getting out of hand, 'come with me. 'Ill make you a cup of tea and I'll talk to you about what is happening, alright?'

Lily nodded at Petunia as if to say that it was a good idea to follow Molly out of the room. Not because Molly was able to explain the situation any better than the rest, but because she was on the verge of bursting out in a fit of rage.

'I better leave you two alone for a moment,' said Arthur, sensing that something was about to happen, and picked up both of his sons and carried them out of the room.

Severus could hear Erwin and Arnica talking loudly to each other outside, but his main concern now was to make sure Lily didn't end up resenting him for keeping such a secret from her.

'Why didn't you tell me anything?'said Lily sharply. 'Please explain yourself!'

'I—well I didn't want to ruin your last day at school so I decided not to say anything then,' said Severus, and couldn't help but notice how stupid it sounded as the excuse rolled out of his mouth. 'I told Erwin after we bought our motorbikes. It was his idea to keep it a secret until we were here.'

'What on earth makes you think I wouldn't want to hear about it, Severus!' said Lily angrily. 'Do you honestly believe that I would rather be kept in the dark than know the truth? Honestly!'

'It's just—it's just that I figured that it would be better if I waited,' said Severus carefully. 'I guess I was wrong.'

'Just a _guess, Severus,'_ said Lily as her eyes turned to slits. 'From one day to another the faces of my entire family are exposed to you-know-who and his followers, and you figured it would be better to –just –wait.'

Severus nodded and felt a lump getting stuck in his throat. 'I'm sorry,' he croaked, and was unable to think of anything better to say.

'Oh so you're sorry now,' sneered Lily as she stood up, and nearly dropped her chair in the process. 'Sorry for not telling me that my entire family is in danger. Sorry for not telling me why the hell it is that you can see Thestrals. Sorry for telling Dumbledore everything but not your own girlfriend. Sorry for keeping so many _fucking secrets from me and just expect me to tolerate it all the time!_ 'I'm done with the secrets, Sev!' yelled Lily as she stomped her way to the front door. 'I would appreciate it if you left me alone for a while.'

Severus found himself rooted to his seat, torn between wanting to run after her and respecting her request to be left alone. The sudden silence in the kitchen was becoming overwhelming. From the corner of his eye he could see Erwin and Arnica still arguing on the other side of the house. He had no idea where Molly had taken Petunia, and Arthur was probably upstairs putting the children to bed.

At this point he wasn't even sure whether Lily still wanted to be his girlfriend or not, and a feeling of panic started to arise in him at the thought of Lily no longer wanting to have him around. His mind even reached as far as wondering if the rest of the family would still want him around if him and Lily were no longer together, and the thought of having to move out and figure it out on his own at this point was causing him to tear up.

To hear Arthur's voice suddenly from upstairs had never been so welcoming. 'Mind if I come downstairs, Severus?' he asked. 'Charlie doesn't want to go to bed.'

'It's fine,' said Severus with great difficulty. 'I could use some distraction, really.'

'I'd hate to say it,' said Arthur as he came down the stairs with Charlie in his arms, and sat down beside Severus at the table, 'but I could hear every single thing you and Lily just said to each other.'

'You think she'll still want to be with me after all that?' asked Severus, and tried hard to blink away the tears.

'I believe Lily loves you more than anything in this world,' said Arthur. 'She's angry because she cares. Not very unlike Arnica right now, I think.'

'You're sad,' said Charlie as he pointed at Severus's face. 'Why are you sad?'

'Because I hurt my girlfriend,' said Severus truthfully. 'And when I hurt her something in me hurts too.'

'Then why dont you go say sorry?' asked Charlie.

'Because she doesn't want me to,' said Severus with a shrug. 'I don't think she likes me anymore.'

'I have an idea,' said Arthur. 'What if I leave Charlie with you for a moment while I go and try to find the rest. I think it would be best if we all talked about this together.'

Quickly Severus wiped away the tears that were still hanging in the corners of his eyes, and nodded in agreement. 'I'll take Charlie to the living room,' he said. 'Perhaps we could make a puzzle or something.'

Charlie allowed himself to be carried to the living room while Arthur made his way outside. 'Is there anything you'd like to do?' asked Severus as he put Charlie down on the floor.

'I have a puzzle,' said Charlie as pointed at his box full of toys. 'It's got a dragon on it.'

Severus rummaged around until he found the puzzle Charlie mentioned. It was a grand total of twenty pieces with a moving fire-breathing dragon on it. 'You want to make this one?' asked Severus as he held it up for Charlie to see.

'That's a Romanian Longhorn,' said Charlie, and sat down on the rug as if to say he was ready to build the puzzle. 'It lives in the mountains.'

'In that case you know more about dragons than I do,' said Severus as he tossed the pieces onto the rug, and sat down crossed legged on the floor. 'I do know their horns are used for potions though.'

Charlie must have made the puzzle a couple of times before, because he knew right away where each piece needed to be put, and went straight to work. 'You should talk to Lily,' he said without taking his eyes of the piece he was holding.

'Like dragons, sometimes you need to let them rage before it's safe to approach them,' said Severus.

'It's never safe to go near a dragon,' said Charlie matter-of-factly. 'Saying sorry to dragons does not work either.'

'And what exactly is it you're implying?' asked Severus as he held a piece of the puzzle between his fingers.

'You talk to lily,' said Charlie as he suddenly looked straight into Severus's eyes, 'she will be angry, and she will still love you.'

'Is there any other advice you can give to me?' asked Severus, slightly amused by Charlie's sudden relationship advice. 'I think I hurt her pretty bad.'

'Give her a hug and a kiss,' said Charlie. 'That's what daddy does when mummy gets angry.'

'I'm afraid she'll spit fire when I try to do that,' said Severus, envisioning Lily swatting him away the moment he would even attempt to touch her. 'Anything else?'

Charlie looked up as if he expected to find the answer on the ceiling. 'You're in trouble,' he said eventually, and yanked the last piece of the puzzle out of Severus's hands. 'Your girlfriend is a dragon.'

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Severus couldn't help but laugh at Charlie's comment. 'At least she's a beautiful dragon,' he said.

'Then it shouldn't matter if you get burned,' said Charlie, and looked at his finished puzzle with pride. 'I'm tired.'

'I thought you didn't want to go to sleep?' asked Severus, remembering Arthur mentioning that Charlie didn't want to go to sleep only a moment ago.

'Not when people are fighting,' said Charlie with a yawn. 'I hate that. And it's hot upstairs.'

'Want to go take a nap here?' asked Severus. 'I could use some sleep too.'

Severus spread himself out on the rug while Charlie imitated him by lying down next to him. Silly as it was, Charlie was right. Lily was a bit like a dragon, and she was bound to bite back if he were to approach her whether she was angry or not. He should just face the consequences and accept the fact that she would burn him with her words.

'I'm afraid she doesn't like me anymore,' said Severus as they both looked up at the ceiling.

Charlie just shrugged. 'I like you,' he said, 'and I like Lily too.'

'I like you too, Charlie,' said Severus sincerely. 'Shall we nap until everybody gets back into the house?'

No answer came from Charlie, and from the soft breathing beside him Severus could tell that Charlie had already fallen asleep.

Strange as it was, Charlie's words did bring some comfort to his otherwise cluttered mind. Although still unsure whether Lily still liked him at this point, Severus figured that she would give in to talking to him once she cooled down a little. With that thought in mind, Severus closed his eyes, and fell asleep.


	140. About the War II

Severus was woken up by Charlie, telling him that everyone was back in the kitchen waiting for him. It must have taken Arthur quite some time to round everyone up, because it felt he had been asleep for hours, and his back felt as stiff as a board once he got off the floor.

'Lily looks really angry,' said Charlie as he looked up at Severus. 'Maybe she really is a dragon.'

Before Charlie could follow Severus into the kitchen however, he was stopped by his older brother. 'Dad said we have to stay in the living room or go outside,' said Bill. 'I think we should go outside.'

Charlie left Severus with a small wave as Bill dragged Charlie along by the hand and disappeared from sight.

Charlie did not exaggerate when he said that Lily looked really angry. Her nose seemed to flare the moment Severus set foot inside the kitchen, and felt the eyes of everyone else pierce right trough him as he sat down on the opposite side of the table.

Arnica's eyes were still red from all the tears she had shed, and Severus came to the realisation that aside from learning about the war, she also must have heard Erwin confess that he has been involved with Dumbledore's Order of the Phoenix as well.

'I understand that this comes as quite a shock to both of you,' said Arthur in Arnica and Petunia's direction. 'Please do understand that if anything happens and you no longer feel safe in Cokeworth, everyone can come and move in here in necessary.'

'I was going to college after the summer,' said Petunia weakly as she stared down at the table. 'I was going to college and now I no longer know if that's a reality or not.'

'You are going to college, Petunia,' said Severus determinately. 'As a matter of fact, I think that you would be safest if you went to college and were able to keep a low profile at all times.'

'And what makes you think my daughter is safest in a place where I can't see her, Severus?' said Arnica angrily. 'For months, _months,_ you and Lily have been spending time in a whole different part of the country, knowing perfectly well that there's a war on the rise. Could you please explain yourselves, both of you!'

Lily looked at her mother in shame. 'We were afraid that you would no longer let us go to Hogwarts if you found out,' she said truthfully. 'We believe that school right now is the safest place for us to be.'

'Lily's right,' said Severus. 'If there's one man the Dark Lord fears, it's Dumbledore. As long as Dumbledore's around, we're almost guaranteed to be safe.'

All Arnica could do was shake her head in disbelief. 'The last thing I want is to see my own children go to war,' she said in an emotionally loaded voice. 'Erwin's gone to war. I have played my part in the resistance too. Our generation tried so hard to create a safer home for the generations that came after us, and now it feels as if all of that has been in vain.'

Everyone fell silent after Arnica's words. Severus was unable to come up with anything that could possibly make Arnica feel any better about the whole situation. Her youngest daughter was put in a position of danger. Her eldest daughter may suddenly no longer be able to fulfill her dreams, and her husband decided to join the resistance behind her back. When it came down to it, Severus was surprised she wasn't going through an emotional breakdown yet.

'How about we all take a break shall we?' said Molly. 'I'll go get things started for dinner. Anyone care to help?'

Both Arnica and Lily were the first ones to rise to their feet and follow Molly up to the stove. It was clear that Lily still wasn't ready to talk to Severus, and he figured it would be better to leave the kitchen entirely so neither one would have to deal with the tension.

'Could I see those motor bicycles of yours?' asked Arthur. 'I'm really curious to find out how they work.'

Severus didn't have to think twice about having an excuse to leave the kitchen. Quickly he made his way outside, followed by Erwin, Petunia, and a very excited looking Arthur.

'Arnica didn't take it so well, did she?' asked Severus as he walked up to his own bike.

'No she didn't,' said Erwin. 'Didn't expect her to either. It's just that a lot of things are going to change for us from this point onwards.'

'You think she'll still let us go to Hogwarts?' asked Severus. 'I'm afraid that's a conversation that is still going to be brought up at some point.'

'It's a good thing she's met Dumbledore before,' said Erwin. 'And I think Dumbledore may be the best argument you'll have if you want to convince her Hogwarts is the safest place for you and Lily to be. You want to see how it starts, Arthur?'

'Yes please!' said Arthur, who had not been able to take his eyes off the motorbikes the moment they had arrived outside.

It was a welcoming distraction after all the heavy talk on war. Arthur was over the moon to learn all kinds of things about motorbikes, and was even more interested in Erwin's war stories that involved riding bikes through Germany. Eventually Bill and Charlie came to take a closer look as well. Especially Bill seemed to be interested in the heavy machines, and asked his dad if he could have one once he was old enough.

'You should really go talk to Lily, Severus,' said Arthur. 'You'll probably be staying here all week and the last thing anyone needs is two people not talking to each other.'

'You should,' repeated Charlie as he looked up at Severus.

'Even if it burns, right?' said Severus. 'You're probably right Charlie. I should just go and face the consequences.'

'You must've really pissed her off, haven't you?' asked Erwin.

'Yes,' said Severus with a growl. 'I thought only basilisks could kill by staring at you. Turns out I was wrong about that.'

'Mum says it's because we have red hair,' said Charlie, causing everyone around him to start laughing.

'And your mum's definitely right about that,' said Severus. 'Ill take your advice and go talk to the dragon lady if she's willing.'

'Can we talk as well?' asked Petunia just loud enough for Severus to hear. 'Later is fine, it's just—'

'We will,' said Severus, and nodded as if to say that he understood. 'We'll talk after dinner, if that's alright with you?'

'Alright,' said Petunia, and turned around to join the conversation between Erwin and Arthur again.

Severus drew a deep breath and marched his way back inside the house. He found both Lily and Arnica fawning over Molly's pregnant belly in the kitchen while a knife busied itself chopping up onions behind them. 'Lily,' he said with as much confidence as he was able to produce, 'can we talk?'

Lily took her hand off Molly's belly and looked at Severus as if he was almost a stranger to her. 'What do you want?' she asked sharply.

'I'm sorry,' he said, remembering the advice that Charlie had given him. 'I'm sorry, truly, I thought I had made the right decision by not telling you about the missing painting, and I realise now that I should have.'

Lily didn't answer, but continued to keep staring straight at him as if she expected him to go down on his knees and beg for forgiveness.

'Can we take this somewhere else, please?' asked Severus as he saw Molly and Arnica's eyes staring at him as well.

'They can hear what you have to say,' said Lily as she crossed her arms. 'No reason to be secretive around people I trust.'

'Lily, I know that there are a lot of things that I cannot talk to you about,' said Severus with a bitter taste in his mouth. 'There are some things that I have sworn to Dumbledore I would not speak about with anyone, and that includes you.'

It was yet another lie, and Severus felt like smacking himself for keeping so many secrets from her. Dumbledore hadn't made him swear anything. The problem lied with how he could possibly break Lily the news that he had risen from the dead with a very extensive knowledge on the war that was about to come, without either her freaking out, or declaring him insane.

'I know that,' said Lily. 'I know that there are things you can't speak to me about, but that doesn't take away the fact that I hate not knowing what is going on with you.'

'What do you mean by that?' asked Severus. 'There isn't anything going on with me.'

Lily's eyebrows rose up to her hairline as if she could not believe what she was hearing. 'Need me to make a synopsis for you?' she said, now with her hands on her hips. 'Within a matter of weeks you decided to give up on your old friends. You created a potion so that people like Remus can lead a good life even through you absolutely hated him and people like him before that. Your mother died. Your father is in prison. You moved in with us and somewhere along the line you even received an Order of Merlin for the work you have done. You have changed, Severus, and although many of these things I consider to be a good thing, that doesn't change the fact that I don't understand your motives. _You know something_ , _and you've seen something!_ And I know that Dumbledore knows what that is, but for some odd reason you are just not allowed to tell me, and I wish you would trust me enough to just tell me what it is.'

Lily's speech left everyone in the kitchen dumbfounded, and tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. 'I understand that you can't tell me, I really do,' she said emotionally. 'But I wished that you would.'

'Sweetheart, go talk to him in private,' said Arnica as she wiped a tear of her daughter's face. 'I think it'll do you both well.'

Lily stomped her way passed Severus and headed up the stairs. Severus wasn't sure where exactly she was going since neither of them have ever been upstairs before, but he followers her nonetheless.

After opening several doors, Lily finally found one with two separate beds in it that she was probably meant to share with Petunia. 'Sit down,' she ordered.

Severus did as he was told, and sat right beside her on the bed, unsure how much distance he was supposed to leave between them. 'I can tell you this much,' he said as he looked straight at the wall. 'Over the past year, and some time before that, I have discovered a few things that I should not have discovered. It's something that I could've used in my advantage had I really gone down the path of joining the Dark Lord as one of his followers, but I decided to tell Dumbledore instead. It's puts me in a position of power, but it also puts me in a very vulnerable position.'

'That still doesn't explain why you can't tell me,' said Lily sadly. 'Is just—why is it you can't tell me?'

'Because it's dangerous,' said Severus. 'The last thing I want is for you to end up in danger because of stupid choices that I've made in the past.'

'You can't protect me all the time, Sev,' said Lily as she looked down at her hands. 'That is your weakness. You feel the need to protect me and everyone else all the time. You need to learn that you're not alone in this.'

'I just can't bear to live with myself if something were to happen to you because of me,' said Severus, and the heavy memory of Lily's death came flooding back to him, causing tears to start streaming down his face.

Lily sat down a little closer and pulled him into a tight embrace. 'Sev,' she said softly, 'as I said, you can't protect me all the time. You don't have to fight this war alone.'

Severus felt his throat thicken with emotion. 'I've made so many mistakes,' he whimpered.

'As long as you remember that you are not a mistake, Sev,' whispered Lily in his ear. 'We all make mistakes. It's only human.'

Severus could argue that his past mistakes extended a little further than can be considered innocent human wrongdoing, but the fact that Lily was now holding him in her arms was too good to let go of.

'You've seen people die, haven't you?' asked Lily. 'You must have, since you can see Thestrals.'

'I have,' he confessed. 'I wish I could tell you, I really do.'

'Promise me that one day you will tell me everything?' asked Lily as she tucked his hair behind his ear.

'I promise,' said Severus.


	141. About the War III

Lily was still angry with him, and probably would be for a while, but that didn't bother Severus anymore. At least she was no longer ignoring him and didn't avoid him like he was some ugly moldy spot against a wall. He had taken Charlie's advice by heart and had given her a hug and a kiss after he felt it was safe enough to do so. Not that she gave in to his display of affection, but at least she still loved him, and all the thoughts he had had that she would no longer like him or want him around seemed very silly all of a sudden.

Molly, with the help of Arnica and Lily, had made meatballs with onion sauce and mashed potatoes for dinner, and Severus wondered why on earth he had always declined her food when she would cook for the entire Order in his past life. He wasn't exactly sure what it was that made this simple meal so good, but for the first time in in probably both his lifetimes, he helped himself to a third portion, clearing out both the meatballs and the mashed potatoes from the pans in the process.

'You're acting like you're pregnant, Sev,' said Lily while looking at him with amusement as he was wolfing down his food. 'Anything I should know about?'

'It's just, this is the best thing I've ever tasted,' said Severus after he swallowed his food. 'Molly, how do you do it?'

'Just a little bit of this and a little bit of that,' said Molly. 'It's good to see that my food makes you feel better though.'

'How are you doing, Tuney?' asked Lily as she turned to her sister, who up to know had only been playing with her food rather than eating it.

Petunia just shrugged. 'I'm just very conflicted is all,' she said weakly. 'It's just—I don't know how to feel about any of this.'

'You want to talk about it with me?' Lily suggested. 'I can imagine this is all very difficult to grasp in one day.'

'No,' said Petunia she kept stirring with her fork in her mashed potatoes. 'I need to figure this one out on my own.'

Severus noticed that Petunia quickly glanced over in his direction, and he understood that she rather wanted to talk to him about it instead.

Despite Molly's best attempt at sheering everyone up, the tension revolving all the secrets that had been exposed today were still prominent in the air. Severus had a hard time figuring out how Arnica was dealing with the whole situation, as so far she hadn't mentioned a single word to him about the war.

'Children,' said Arnica suddenly, 'maybe it's a good idea if you all went upstairs and unpack for the night.'

Lily and Petunia took the hint, but it took Severus a moment to understand that this the cue where the grown-ups wanted to talk in private, and he was not invited.

Severus knew he had been given the attic room to sleep in, and so he dragged his suitcase that had been standing in the hallway since they had arrived up a couple flights of stairs.

Some cooling charm must have been used, because it certainly wasn't as hot up here as it was in his attic room back in Cokeworth. He wondered if he was actually able to use a wand as long as he was inside the house. It was a magical dwelling after all.

Severus had a pretty good view from the window. He could see the many hills that adorned the landscape in the distance, and the setting sun was bathing everything in a hue of pink and gold.

At first, he thought it was the reflection of the river nearby, but upon closer observation Severus figured that the shimmering object was moving through the cluster of trees in the distance. If Petunia still wanted to speak with him, now may just be the best time to do it.

From the inside of his suitcase, he pulled out the thing he had been working on as a side project while he was working on creating the sunblock for Lily, shoved it in his pocket and headed down to the room where Lily and Petunia were staying. 'Petunia,' said Severus as he knocked on their door. 'Are you in here?'

It was Lily who opened the door for him. 'I thought she was still downstairs somewhere,' she said. 'Is there anything you need from her?'

'I don't need anything,' said Severus. 'There's just something that I wanted to talk to her about.'

Lily looked up at Severus with a frown. 'Is it one of those things you can't tell me again?' she asked irritably.

'As a matter of fact, yes,' said Severus, not feeling like arguing about it in the slightest. 'She wanted to speak with me.'

Lily didn't seem too pleased, but nodded in understanding nonetheless. 'I wouldn't be surprised if she went outside for a walk,' she said.

'Then I'll see if I can find her out there,' said Severus. He was a bit unsure whether or not Lily wanted to be touched, and so he decided against it and kept his arms dangling awkwardly by his side.

'I promised Molly I would put the boys to bed,' said Lily as she pushed herself through the door. 'We'll talk again later, okay?'

'Okay,' said Severus, and balled his hands into fists to make sure he didn't suddenly reach out to touch her. 'I'll go find Petunia.'

Severus found Petunia sitting on a bench in the garden at the backside of the house. 'You still want to talk?' he asked as he sat down beside her.

Petunia shrugged. 'It's hard trying to talk about something that you barely understand,' she said. 'I'm just not sure what to do at this point.'

'Want to go for a walk?' Severus suggested. 'I just saw something in the woods a little further out there from my window. I think you'd like to see it too.'

'What is it that you saw?' asked Petunia.

'Just trust me on this one, alright,' said Severus. 'You'll love it. I promise.'

Petunia didn't speak up until they were halfway towards the woods. 'Why is it that they are after Lily?' she asked.

'I think the easiest way to explain this to you is by comparing it to the second Muggle war,' said Severus. 'In many ways, the man who is trying to gain a position of power is much like Hitler. He believes, or at least that's what he tells the world he believes, that only wizards of a certain blood status have a place in the wizarding world. The Weasleys, for example, though definitely not followers of his ideologies, come from a long magical line. Then there is a very large group of people like me, who only have one magical ancestor, which in my case was my own mother. Then there's also a group of people like Lily, and in many ways you could say that she is the Jew of the wizarding world. Right now more and more wizards are saying that people like Lily have troubled blood because they have no magical ancestors, and Muggles are usually frowned upon for not having magic.'

'So, are wizards afraid of people like Lily who have Muggles as parents?' asked Petunia. 'Or am I not understanding something correctly.'

'I wouldn't say afraid,' said Severus. 'In many cases they are forced to say that they don't like Muggleborn wizards because otherwise it would put their own family in danger. In war there's always a group that has to be the scapegoat, and in this case it's people like Lily.'

'You know what else is interesting,' added Severus as they stopped walking. 'Hitler never once visited his own camps. He always let other people do the dirty work, and the Dark Lord isn't any different from that. He's always hiding in the back somewhere, and he does not come out of his snake pit unless he deems it absolutely necessary.'

'You keep calling him the Dark Lord,' said Petunia. 'I've heard Molly referring to him as You-Know-Who, and Arthur as He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Does he have a real name?'

'He calls himself Lord Voldemort,' said Severus, 'but I don't recommend you to tell anyone I said that. Most people will start to shiver at the very mention of it.'

'Somehow I doubt that Lord Voldemort is his real name,' said Petunia with a frown. 'Did he change it?'

'He did,' said Severus. 'To invoke fear I suppose.'

'Sounds like what Stalin did,' said Petunia. 'He changed his name to Stalin so people would no longer associate his background with that of his poor Georgian family, calling himself a man of steel instead.'

'It's interesting, isn't it,' said Severus, 'how a man who is so convinced that Muggles are the lesser kind, it is still the place where he seems to draw his inspiration from.'

'The world is twisted,' said Petunia, and what seemed like out of nowhere she suddenly pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

'I thought you didn't smoke,' said Severus as he looked up at Petunia with a raised eyebrow.

'I don't,' said Petunia with a look of pure glee on her face, 'but sometimes I steal packs from Vernon just because I can.'

'And here I am, thinking you were too much of a good girl to be doing such things,' said Severus.

Petunia pulled out two cigarettes from the pack and handed one over to Severus. 'Just don't tell dad is secretly smoke sometimes,' she said, and lit her cigarette with a lighter.

'I smoke cigarettes with Erwin sometimes,' said Severus. 'What's the difference if you or Lily do too?'

'It's not the smoking,' said Petunia as she passed the lighter to Severus. 'It's the secrecy. Dad hates that.'

It made Severus wonder if there was anything that Lily had, in fact, _not_ inherited from her father. Even though he could just snap with his fingers to light the cigarette, he still used the lighter that Petunia had passed to him. 'Thanks,' he said. 'Tastes even better knowing they were stolen from Vernon.'

Petunia decided not to answer to that. 'Is that Voldemort bloke French by any chance?' she asked.

'Not that I know off,' said Severus. 'Why? Because Hitler was Austrian and Staling was Georgian by origin or something?'

'Exactly that,' said Petunia. 'Voldemort just doesn't sound English to me. But to move on to something else; why exactly did you take me out here?'

'Because there's something out there that I know you would love to see,' said Severus as he peeked through the woods, and noticed that the shimmering thing was still there. 'Remember our conversation from last Christmas?'

'Quite clearly,' said Petunia with a hint of shame. 'What about it?'

'You said something along the lines that you wanted to be able to see magical creatures,' said Severus as he recalled talking to her in her room.

'Is there something out there?' asked Petunia, suddenly looking a little fearful as she peeked through the trees.

'Don't worry,' said Severus, 'it's not a dragon. I think it's something that you would like to paint after you've seen it.'

Severus was able to see it, but as he had expected, Petunia could not. 'And what exactly is it that we're looking at?' she asked.

'Just follow me,' said Severus as he finished his cigarette, pocketed the bud and took the lead into the woods. 'It's best if we approach them quietly.'

'I'm still not seeing anything,' said Petunia as she looked around. 'Do you.'

'It's staring straight at me,' said Severus as he pointed behind a few trees. 'He's right there.'

'He?' asked Petunia as she followed where Severus was pointing at.

'Remember what I told you, Petunia?' said Severus. 'If you wish to see it, all you have to do is believe in it.'

As quietly as he could, Severus took several steps back, leaving Petunia to stand on her own as she stared into the distance. Adult unicorns prefer a woman's touch, after all.

Petunia nearly clasped her hands in front of her mouth as the unicorn carefully approached her, as if she was preventing herself from screaming at the sight of it.

'You can pet him if you want,' said Severus softly from behind her. 'They're not shy, but they do scare very easily.'

Petunia's hands were shaking as she reached out for the unicorn, who allowed her to touch him. 'He's so beautiful,' she said with a voice filled with emotion. 'This is incredible.'

They may have been standing there for over ten minutes until the unicorn finally decided that it had enough, and turned around to disappear through the trees again.

When Petunia turned around she was wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. 'That was unbelievable,' she said with a smile. 'I can't believe this is real.'

'Well apparently you do,' said Severus. 'Otherwise you would not be able to see them at all.'

'I would love to paint that more than anything,' said Petunia as she followed Severus out of the woods again. 'But I have never seen anything as white as a unicorn before. Not even snow.'

'I figured you'd say that,' said Severus, and pulled out the object he had brought along from his pocket. 'When I learned we were going to this part of the country I knew I had to make this for you. There are many unicorns out here and I knew we would see one or two at some point.'

He held up the phial for Petunia to see. From the tail hairs he had collected at school he had managed to create ink as white as a fully-grown unicorn, and it shone brightly in the darkening sky.

'I made this for you,' said Severus. 'Now you can paint a unicorn and make it looks as realistic as possible.'

Carefully Petunia took the phial from Severus's hands and mesmerized by the sheer sight of it. 'Thank you,' she mumbled. 'This is perfect. Absolutely perfect.'

'You better get into art school now,' said Severus. 'You know why?'

'Why?' asked Petunia, swirling around the ink as if she couldn't wait to start painting with it.

Severus put up a sly grin. 'Because Hitler got rejected from art school, and look what happened.'

Petunia couldn't help but laugh. 'I'll get in,' she said determinedly. 'I promise I will.'

'I have one question for you before we go back inside,' said Severus as they made their way back to the burrow. 'It hasn't been that long since you've grown to accept magic as a part of your life. Has all this talk on war not make you resent it again?'

'The truth is, Severus,' said Petunia in a very serious manner, 'is that perhaps for the first time, I am relieved that I'm not magical.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N It is actually speculated that Adolf Hitler used to have a different surname before adopting Hitler as his own. The most common speculation was that he was born with the name Schicklgruber (his paternal grandmother's name), or Hiedler (and changed it to sound more German), and yes, even Pettigrew as his original surname has been speculated. (Also, Hitler really was rejected from art school.)
> 
> A/N Stalin's Georgian family name was Jughashvili.
> 
> A/N According to Rowling the 'T' in Voldemort is silent, and in French it means 'Flight of Death'. The name Riddle historically originates from Normandy and came to England during the Norman Conquest of 1066.


	142. Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N When I wrote these chapters about the Flamels many moons ago, I hadn't realised I may have layed their French accents on a little too thickly. At some point I'll change all that, and when we see them again later on in the story, it'll be a bit easier to read their dialogue.

'You look pretty when you're angry,' said Severus with a grin.

Lily glared up at him. 'You're not helping, Sev,' she said.

'Just wondering how long you plan on staying angry with me,' said Severus. 'I know you can't keep this up forever.'

'For as long as I deem necessary,' said Lily, and violently started buttering her toast.

'Can I at least give you a kiss?' asked Severus as he reached out for the marmalade.

'No,' said lily bluntly. 'I really don't feel like kissing you just yet.'

'You hear that Charlie,' said Severus as he leaned in to the little boy beside him. 'The dragon lady doesn't want to be kissed.'

Charlie leaned forward in his highchair to take a closer look at Lily. 'Why not?' he asked.

Lily's glare narrowed even further. 'Since when did you start calling me "dragon lady"?' she gritted through her teeth. 'And how dare you use children against me. You know that's my only weakness.'

Ignoring the fact that Lily's mood was turning fouler with each word that was being exchanged, Severus helped himself to some coffee. 'I don't think Charlie minds if I use him as an excuse,' he said. 'Don't you Charlie?'

Charlie looked up at the quarrelling couple with a look as if he hadn't grasped a single thing he was told. 'Why won't you kiss Sev'rus?' he asked.

'Because _Sevvy_ here, has been dishonest with me,' said Lily with a suppressed sneer. 'And I don't like it when people are dishonest.'

From across the breakfast table Severus could see Erwin looking apologetically at him. 'She'll turn around,' he said silently so Severus had to read his lips. 'Just give it some time.'

Although he could completely understand Lily's reasoning, Severus had grown quite used to her being affectionate with him over the past couple of months. For her to suddenly no longer embrace him or kiss him was bugging him more than he liked to admit. 'I hope so,' he mumbled back in Erwin's direction. 'How long can she keep this up?'

'Few days,' said Erwin softly. 'If you're lucky.'

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. It felt whiny, almost, as the last thing he wanted was for Lily to barely speak with him while they were spending time at the Weasleys. 'Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?' he asked eventually.

'I don't think so,' said Lily. 'I have an undisclosed desire to be frustrated with you for a very long time.'

'Could I at least take you out for a walk?' Severus suggested, feeling himself growing desperate at his poor attempts to make her open up to him again.

'And talk about what?' said Lily after she swallowed her toast. 'What exactly is it that you're asking of me?'

'I'm asking you not to be unreasonable,' said Severus, trying hard not to grow angry with her either. 'Lily, please, can we just sort this out?'

'Don't push it, Sev,' said Lily with a groan. 'I just—'

'—Could you two take your quarrelling somewhere else please?' said Arnica. 'You know what Lily, you go take a walk with Severus and sort things out. I think everyone would be a lot happier if the both of you did.'

Severus knew Lily couldn't refuse her mother's request, and so he stood up and excused himself from the breakfast table right away. He could hear Lily following him as he made his way outside, and slam the door behind her.

'So where d'you want to go?' asked Lily stiffly.

'It doesn't matter,' said Severus as they passed the gate up front. 'As long as you'll talk to me.'

Severus was severely tempted to reach out and take her hand as they started walking downstream, but didn't. 'This is a beautiful town, isn't it?' he said by means of starting a conversation.

'It is,' said Lily in confirmation. 'I like how both Magical and Muggle people live here without any trouble.'

'Could you please tell me how long you plan on staying angry with me?' asked Severus. 'That way I know how much distance I have to keep between us so I don't irritate you.'

'You don't irritate me, Sev,' said Lily. 'I'm just highly conflicted about the whole situation.'

'Then please just talk to me so we can find some middle ground,' said Severus. 'I don't know if you're aware of this, but it actually hurts when you're giving me the cold shoulder like that.'

'I'm sorry,' said lily. 'I just—'

Severus cut her off. 'Don't be,' he said. 'I'm the one who'se in the wrong here. It's just—I'm just, I'm afraid.'

Lily slowed her pace and shot Severus a questionable look. 'Afraid of what?' she asked.

Severus bit his tongue, wishing he hadn't just admitted to having such a weakness. 'I already told you that I'm afraid of losing you,' he said softly.

'And I told you that I still love you despite being angry with you,' said Lily. 'Why are you so afraid of losing me, if I may ask?'

Severus crossed his arms and contemplated whether or not this was something he wanted to expose. 'Because—it's because—'

'—you can just tell me, Sev,' said Lily. 'I promise I won't laugh.'

Severus bit his lip and let out a sigh. 'I'm insecure,' he blurted out, 'and as a man I don't feel like I have a right to be.'

Lily looked at Severus as if she could not believe what she was hearing. 'What ridiculous old-fashioned way of thinking is that?' she said in a high-pitched voice.

'I suppose I am old-fashioned then,' said Severus.

'Well I know you are,' said Lily with a frown. 'Asking dad for permission to take me on a date and all that. Just, what is it that's causing you to be insecure, or is it really just the fear of losing me?'

Severus shook his head, figuring that honesty was the best policy in this case. 'Because I have nothing to offer you,' he said with a sour taste in his mouth. 'All I have is a history of abuse and neglect, I have no financial stability, I have made some pretty stupid life choices that have led to some very severe consequences, and on top of that, I'm just a lanky grease ball with crooked teeth. I have _nothing_ to offer you that someone else could do better.'

Lily looked as if she was about ready to slap Severus across the face. 'You're an idiot, Sev,' she said sharply. 'First of all, why do you even feel the need to offer me something? And what makes you think that your family's history will influence the way that I feel about you. Or why should I care about your financial stability? We're both sixteen. We're not even supposed to be in that kind of position yet! And just because you don't look like bloody David Cassidy doesn't mean that I don't find you attractive just the way you are.'

'I still made some very stupid decisions,' said Severus, feeling the need to nitpick on the one thing she hadn't mentioned.

'Yes you have!' said Lily as she raised her voice. 'You have made mistakes apparently too big for me to even know about, and it's worries me to no end.'

As their quarrelling continued, they had reached what seemed to be an old abandoned water mill on the edge of the river. 'Woah what a beautiful place,' said Lily suddenly before Severus had a chance to take another defensive stance. 'Want to go take a closer look?'

'Sure,' he said, not feeling up for any sudden exploration in the slightest, but even he had to admit that it was very beautiful. 'Lily it's just—it's just, what have I ever done that made me deserve you?'

'Deserve me?' Lily said as she suddenly stopped walking. 'Deserve me? Since when did I become a _thing_ that can be won and conquered?'

'Probably not the right choice of words, I see,' said Severus as gently as possible as he saw Lily nearly spitting fire. 'What I mean is—'

'I know what you mean Severus,' said Lily sharply. 'You wonder why someone like me, who always seems to be happy and frolicking around, would want to be someone who has the annoying habit of consistently putting himself down.'

'Exactly that,' said Severus with a lump in his throat. 'I don't understand why you want to be with me, when you are clearly so much more than me.'

Lily ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. 'I can probably never make this clear to you, don't I? I want to be with you. Hell, for what it's worth, we could just claim this abandoned mill as our own right now, remodel it, and live a peaceful life in it together if you'd like.'

Severus looked at the old water mill right by the riverbank. It was made entirely out of old bricks. Despite its small size, it was still two stories high, and ivy had crawled all the way up to the mill's straw roofing. It had a very idyllic look to it, and even more so as the summer sun was reflected in the dusty windows and the water of the river below.

With a new sense of determination, Severus stomped his way passed Lily towards the mill. 'Come on then,' he said. 'Lets explore this place, shall we?'

He could hear Lily's footsteps following behind him as he made his way down hill to the mill. 'Think we could turn this place into a potion's lab?' he asked.

'Not so fast, young man,' said a foreign voice suddenly from behind him, causing Severus to stop mid-step. 'It ies a bit rude to enter someone's home without invitation.'

Within a flash, Severus had turned on the balls of his feet, pulled his wand out, and came face to face with a middle aged looking lady. 'there is no need for zat,' she said, the smile on her face betraying that she wasn't afraid in the slightest. 'But if you and your girlfriend would like zome tea, you are more than welcome.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N (…) There have been many reports of the Philosopher's Stone over the centuries, but the only Stone currently in existence belongs to Mr Nicolas Flamel, the noted alchemist and opera-lover. Mr Flamel, who celebrated his six hundred and sixty-fifth birthday last year, enjoys a quiet life in Devon with his wife, Perenelle (six hundred and fifty-eight).
> 
> In other words, the Flamel's live in the same county where Ottery St Catchpole is located. Historically they are from France.
> 
> A/N David Cassidy is one of the largest teen icons of the early 1970s as both an actor and a musician. (You may know him from The Partridge Family). Many (young) girls (and some boys I suppose) squealed over him.


	143. Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel II

'Sev, just put your wand down,' said Lily as she walked up to him. 'There's no need for that.'

'Who are you?' asked Severus, ignoring both the woman's and Lily's request to put his wand down.

'My name is Perenelle,' said the woman, still smiling despite having a wand pointed at her face. 'If I heard correctly, you must be Severus.'

Perenelle. The name rang a bell somewhere in the back of Severus's mind, but he was unable to connect the name to the face that was standing in front of him.

Lily snatched Severus's wand out of his hand. 'Honestly Sev,' she said irritably. 'There really is no need for this.'

'Do you live out here by yourself?' asked Severus, wondering if the woman may secretly be a hag, although she was far too good looking to be one.

'I do not,' said Perenelle. 'My husband is inside ze house. Would you like to meet him?'

As Perenelle pointed at the old mill, suddenly it became clear that the abandoned look from afar had been a cover-up. The bricks of the house were suddenly aligned, and the windows were no longer cracked and dusty. Even though in the heat of the summer, there was even smoke coming out of the chimney, and the water wheel had started to move.

'I would like to meet him,' said Lily happily. 'Come on Sev, we'll be alright.'

Although he was still not entirely convinced, Severus's curiosity started to win from his suspicious stance. To have encountered such as beautiful magical dwelling by random was simply too good to pass on. Aside from that, it was also a good excuse to stop the quarrel he had with Lily that seemed to lead absolutely nowhere.

'Excuse my defensiveness ma'am,' said Severus with a slight bow. 'I didn't mean to form a threat.'

'Well that's better,' said Lily as she shoved Severus's wand back into his hand. 'I would love to see your home and meet your husband misses—'

'Flamel,' said Perenelle as she gracefully walked up to the front steps of the old mill. 'But please, feel free to call me Perenelle.'

Severus's mouth nearly fell open at the mention of the name Flamel. 'Lily, do you understand where were at?' he whispered to her as they followed Perenelle to the mill.

'We're about to meet a famous alchemist, Sev,' whispered Lily back, trying hard to suppress how excited she felt. 'This is like hitting the potioneer jackpot.'

'Nicolas,' called Perenelle through the hallway after stepping inside the house, 'I am home, and I brought visitors with me.'

'Visitors?' said a jolly voice from upstairs. 'I shall come down right away!'

It felt as if the outside of the mill did not do justice to how beautiful it was on the inside. Old oak wooden floors adorned every room of the house. The brick walls were heavily decorated with brightly coloured tapestries and paintings; many of them depicting a variety of landscapes. It may just be the sunlight, but it felt as if a bottle of Felix Felicis had been released into the air. The place had a very homely scent to it, and the surrounding trees covered the mill in enough shade for it to be cool within the walls.

Coming down from the spiraling staircase, a man came down who looked like he was in the same middle age as Perenelle. He had long graying hair put in a ponytail and a grey goatee that spiraled at the end.

'This is Severus,' said Perenelle as he introduced them to her husband, 'and if I heard correctly, this is Lily. this is my husband Nicolas. I found these two fighting outside.'

'Fighting eh?' said Nicolas as he shook hands with Severus and Lily. 'It always breaks my heart to see young lovers fighting.'

Lily's face turned a bright red while Severus was simply at loss for words. Here they were, a notorious alchemist and his wife. Although already over six hundred years old, they didn't look or act a day older than their fifties.

'Please, do join us in the kitchen,' said Perenelle. 'We don't get that many visitors so please don't mind the clutter.'

What Perenelle considered to be clutter, Severus and Lily most definitely considered treasure. Rows upon rows of potion phials and complicated looking instruments adorned the kitchen walls, table, and even the windowsills. Perenelle took the liberty to put up a kettle over the already burning hearth fire, as Nicolas sat down at the kitchen table. Severus and Lily sat down on the opposite side of the table, unable to keep their eyes from wondering around in admiration of the place.

'This is a very beautiful home you have,' said Lily in adoration. 'I think I might like it even better than Hogwarts.'

'So you are Hogwarts students,' said Perenelle as she joined them at the table. 'Your headmaster is a good friend of us. 'He was 'ere not too long ago.'

Severus noticed that Nicolas was looking at him with an odd sort of fascination, and wondered if Dumbledore may have mentioned his name after he gave the warning to hide the Philosopher Stone. Either way, he threw up his Occlumency shield, just in case the Flamels were as skilled in Legilimency as they were in Alchemy.

'I remember from a Chocolate Frog card that you and headmaster Dumbledore are good friends,' said Lily. 'I just never imagined you would actually be living here in England.'

'How long 'ave we lived here, Nico?' asked Perenelle as she turned to her husband. 'I don't quite remember.'

Nicolas closed his eyes in order to think. 'It has been over a hundred years, I think,' he said as he opened his eyes again. 'We just found this abandoned place one day, and decided to settle 'ere and live a quiet life.'

Lily looked at the couple across the table as if she could not believe what she was hearing. 'That is just incredible,' she said softly.

'When you are over six hundred years old you sometimes loose track of time,' said Perenelle as she waved it off. 'Do you live 'ere in the village?'

'No, were only here to visit the Weasley family,' said Lily. 'We live in Cokeworth. That's near Oxford.'

'Aah the Weasleys live a little further up the river I think,' said Perenelle. 'I thought they were Moldus.'

'Well, Arthur really loves everything Muggle,' said Lily. 'He likes to drive a car and collect plugs and those sorts of things.'

'That explains a lot,' said Perenelle as she got up and took the steaming kettle off the fire, and poured everyone a cup. 'Lovely family. Very friendly.'

'They certainly are,' said Lily with a smile. 'Thank you for the tea.'

'I have 'eard your name before, Severus,' said Nicolas suddenly. 'I believe Albus talked about you the last time he came to visit.'

So far Severus had been happy to let Lily do the small talk, but he figured there had to be a point where Nicolas would acknowledge his name. 'That could be,' he said stiffly.

Lily looked up at Severus in surprise. 'I wasn't aware of that,' she said. 'How come—'

'—I think darling,' interrupted Perenelle, 'zat Severus 'as some heavy burdens he finds difficult to share with you.'

'You two were fighting, weren't you?' asked Nicolas. 'Perhaps my wife can help. She is very good at solving problems.'

'I over'eard a lot of your conversation I'm afraid,' said Perenelle. 'Please tell me darling, what happened that made you so mad?'

Perenelle reached out and took Lily's hands into her own. Lily must have found some comfort in it, because she returned the favour. 'Well,' she stammered, 'I find it difficult that Severus has to many secrets he cannot share with me.'

'And why is it that you want to know his secrets?' asked Perenelle. 'Is it really of vital importance for you to know?'

Lily didn't quite know how to answer that, and so instead she looked down at her hands that were clasped into Perenelle's. 'I suppose I just value honestly above all,' she said softly.

'Can I tell you both something based on my own observations?' said Perenelle. 'It might give you some insights.'

'Please do,' said Lily. 'I would love to resolve our problem if possible.'

'You, Lily, are fire,' said Perenelle. 'And you, Severus, are water. Where you are always busy thid ze future, he is battling his past. Where you have no trouble creating your own space, he has to move his way through everyone else's.'

Lily nodded in understanding. 'I think I understand,' she said. 'Sev and I are very different, in many ways.'

'Wot do you think, Severus?' asked Perenelle.

Severus didn't quite know what to say, and so instead he started fumbling with the teacup in his hands. 'We are different, I suppose,' he mumbled.

'Unlike fire, water can adapt quite well under 'eavy circumstances,' said Perenelle. 'And I can tell that you have gone through many, Severus. I know that you have an old soul.'

Severus looked Perenelle straight in the eye. The Flamels knew something. That much was clear to him now. 'What exactly have you overheard?' he asked.

'I over'eard you say you are insecure,' said Perenelle, and with her left hand she reached out to Severus to hold him too.

Severus felt the need to object, but it was surprisingly comforting to be touched by such gentle hands as Perenelle's, and so he gave in to the situation instead.

'What I believe,' said Perenelle, 'and correct me if I am wrong, but this is what I believe, is that you are afraid of being abandoned, is it not?'

'I suppose that's true,' said Severus in a low voice, looking down at the hand that was holding him.

'There must have been a lot that you had to do alone, is it not?' asked Perenelle.

'Yes,' said Severus weakly.

'Then Severus,' said Perenelle as she leaned in closer to him, 'my advice for you is that you learn to understand that you no longer walk the earth alone.'

Severus kept steadily looking down at the table. 'Is there anything else you heard?' he asked stiffly.

Even though Severus's defensive stance must have come across as rude, all Perenelle did was smile at him. 'I heard you say you have not'ing to offer her. Why is dat?'

'Because I don't,' said Severus. 'I have nothing else to offer her than secrets and a grouchy attitude.'

'And you are right about that, Severus,' said Perenelle as she raised an eyebrow at him. 'But you have also given her ze most valuable thing there is, and that is your life. There is no greater gift dan that.'

If there was still any confirmation needed that the Flamels knew something more about him, this was it.

'And for you, young lady,' said Perenelle as she turned her gaze towards Lily, 'You are fire, and if things don't go your way you have the tendency to set thosethiings on fire. 'Fire can clear soil wit'in a matter of moments, but rivers take years to form. Be patient, and be careful who you burn dear, or you may end up hurting the people you love most.'

Lily started blinking with her eyes as if she was trying to fight some tears. 'I'll remember that,' she said.

'I am holding on to both your hands,' said Perenelle, 'because that is my way of trying to reconnect you both. Now please, hold each other instead.'

Perenelle released both her hands and folded them around her own steaming teacup. It was Lily who reached out and placed her hand on top of Severus's, fumbled her fingers in between his, and held on tightly. 'I'm sorry,' she said as she looked Severus in the eye. 'Sometimes I forget you are quite vulnerable. You hide it so well.'

'Was this your first big fight?' asked Nicolas.

Severus could argue that he and Lily had had a much bigger fight in a different lifetime, but that had not resulted in Lily holding his hand tightly into her own again.

'It was,' said Lily as she wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye with her other hand.

'You know, they say that you cannot claim to be committed to a relationship until after you have resolved your first big fight with them,' said Nicolas. 'You overcome this, you can overcome any'ting.'

'I see a very powerful relationship between the two of you,' said Perenelle as she looked at Severus and Lily with approval, 'but also a difficult one. Fire and water need a perfect balance, and that cannot be achieved with struggle and difficulty.'

Severus squeezed into Lily's hand to acknowledge the wisdom they had just received regarding their relationship. 'Don't let go,' he whispered.

'Perhaps it is time for us to move on to something else,' said Nicolas as he drained his tea.

Perenelle rolled with her eyes. 'Oh s'il te plait, you are not going to bore them wid your potions,' she said.

'So, are you both into potion brewing?' asked Nicolas, ignoring his wife's plead not to bore them. 'I have a very large potions lab upstairs if you'd like to see.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The French word for Muggle is "Moldu".
> 
> A/N Is Severus afraid to be abandoned? Perhaps from an interpretive perspective on canon it could be true. He didn't have a proper family. Lily abandoned him after fifth year and died a few years after. Dumbledore abandoned him. Heck, even Voldy abandoned him because he found a wand more worthy than his servant's life. Abandonment is a heavily theme revolving around his life I suppose. Regarding being "vulnerable", that was one of Rowling's own words to describe Severus that has always stood out to me.


	144. Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel III

Severus was unsure where to look after Nicolas had taken them upstairs. Although the house itself was on the smaller side, Nicolas had somehow managed to cramp all his earthly possessions into one place. From books to parchment that were scattered all over the floor, to dusty old globes to even more silver instruments that looked a lot like the ones Dumbledore held in his office. Somewhere amongst all that clutter was another open hearth in the very center of the room. It was big enough for at least four large cauldrons to brew on, and Severus had to admit he was a bit envious of the place. Though Hogwarts provided enough space for similar brewing stations, it was still different if you were able to call it your own.

'Sorry about my wife,' said Nicolas as he gestured to Lily and Severus to take a look around. 'She enjoys giving advice to everyone she thinks who needs it.'

'I really appreciated it though,' said Lily as she started admiring a panty filled with rare potion ingredients. 'It was very insightful.'

'After six hundred years you learn a thing or two about relationships,' said Nicolas with a smile. 'I can only hope the two of you will find a way to make it work.'

'We will,' said Severus as he joined Lily by the pantry, and felt that it was safe enough to give her a kiss without protest.

'Severus,' said Nicolas as he twirled his goatee between his fingers, 'I understood that you are now a member of the Order of Merlin?'

'I am,' said Severus in response. 'I'm not quite sure if you are though.'

'I am not,' said Nicolas as he shook his head. 'And I have no desire to become a member either. I was very impressed though, with your creation of ze Wolfsbane Potion.'

'I had some help with that,' said Severus, trying to sound modest about the whole thing. 'Nicolas, is it because of the newspapers that you know my name?'

Nicolas shook his head. 'Albus came to me almost a year ago,' he said. He came with a warning that Voldemor' might be after my greatest invention yet. He also told me zat ze warning had come from you.'

Lily looked at Severus with a mixture of confusion and adoration. 'The philosopher's stone you mean?' she asked. 'Is it actually here?'

Nicolas smiled and shook his head. 'It is hidden and out of sight,' he said.

Severus noticed that Nicolas looked at him intently with his piercing brown eyes, as if he was trying to give a clue about where he had hidden the stone without giving away too much information in Lily's presence.

'As long as it's in a place where we are certain the Dark Lord cannot reach it,' said Severus with a nod in order to confirm that he had understood.

'Then do not worry any longer,' said Nicolas. 'Mademoiselle Lily, do you enjoy brewing potions as well?'

'Oh I do,' said Lily enthusiastically. 'I hope to start my own brewing company one day.'

'Do you now?' said Nicolas in approval. 'Then what about alchemy. Has zat ever interested you?'

Lily bit her lip. 'To be fair with you, monsieur Nicolas, I've never considered alchemy as a subject that could be pursued.'

'Would you be interested if I taught you a few things about alchemy?' asked Nicolas.

Lily looked at Nicolas as if she could not believe what she was hearing. 'I'd love to,' she said as she tried hard to contain her excitement.

'How about I leave you two alone for a moment,' Severus suggested. He was already familiar with the very basic philosophy of alchemy, and figured that if Lily were to learn something new she would definitely share it with him later on. Also, it was a good opportunity to speak with Perenelle in private for a moment.

'Are you sure, Sev?' asked Lily. 'This feels like one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunity kind of thing.'

'I'm quite certain,' said Severus as he gave another nod in Nicolas's direction. 'I shall go downstairs and chat with Perenelle.'

Lily didn't seem to quite understand Severus's reasoning for not wanting to learn anything from the Master of Alchemy himself, but did not say anything about it when Severus turned around and went back downstairs.

Severus found Perenelle prepping what looked like mushroom soup in the kitchen.

'Let me guess,' said Perenelle once she saw Severus enter the kitchen, 'Nico is talking Lily's ears off about all his work on Alchemy?'

'She wanted to hear it,' said Severus as he sat down in the same spot at the table he had sat earlier. 'I figured what she is learning up there is something she could choose to keep to herself if she wants to.'

'Are you feeling any better dear?' asked Perenelle as she joined Severus at the table. 'It must be difficult to be so sensitive while having all these walls up inside of you.'

'I don't want to be vulnerable,' said Severus softly.

'And why not?' asked Perenelle with a flowing gesture of her hands. 'What is the shame in feeling?'

'Because I don't want to be weak,' said Severus, realising just how stupid that sounded the moment it came rolling out of his mouth.

For a moment Perenelle didn't say anything, but just observed him from across the table with a pair of sharp eyes that clearly carried more wisdom than her physical presence betrayed. 'Can I ask you something personal, Severus?' she asked. 'Because I know you did not just come down here to avoid talking about Alchemy with my husband.'

If Perenelle was capable of performing Legilimency, Severus figured she was better skilled than Dumbledore and the Dark Lord combined. And yet, the truth probably lay with the fact that living for over six hundred years has taught her so much about people and humanity, she could probably pierce easily through anyone. 'Feel free to ask anything you want to know,' said Severus.

'Albus told us all about you, as you know,' said Perenelle. 'I would love to know, why it is you chose to come back to life, if all that you've ever known is hardship.'

Severus thought long and hard before he answered. The easy way would be to say that he just wanted to see Lily alive again, but he knew that that was not the only reason. 'Because I figured that with my knowledge, I could change the course of history,' he said. 'That, and I would have given anything to see Lily alive again, so I did.'

Perenelle's eyes started gleaming at Severus's answer. ''How selfish of you,' she said. 'Thinking you can change the course of history, and get the girl.'

'I suppose I am a little bit selfish,' said Severus, and coming to think of it, the whole reason for coming back to life in the first place was entirely based on selfish reasons.

'It is okay to be a little bit selfish from time to time,' said Perenelle. 'I think it is beautiful, that you wanted to see Lily alive again, and yet you don't mention zat you wanted her for yourself.'

'I can't force her to love me,' said Severus. 'I just wanted to ensure that she could lead a fulfilled life this time.'

'And very selfless too I see,' said Perenelle. 'You are a complicated man, Severus. I like that.'

'How do you do it?' asked Severus. 'I mean, you have spend over six hundred years with the same man. Have you not once grown tired of being with him?'

'Would you like to know the secret to our success?' asked Perenelle, 'or are you asking because you are afraid Lily might some day grow tired of you?'

'Both, I suppose,' Severus admitted.

'The truth is not as spectacular as you might tink,' said Perenelle, 'but I can tell you this. Over ze past hundreds of years I have seen plenty of handsome men cross my path, but not once have I reached out. The reason for that is because when I married Nico, I made a choice, and my choice was to love this man unconditionally, and to show loyalty to that love.'

'Are you saying that love is a choice?' asked Severus.

'Yes,' said Perenelle. 'That is exactly what I am saying. 'We do not choose whom we fall in love with, but we choose who we love unconditionally. And you, Severus, have made that choice a long time ago already.'

'Has there honestly never been one moment where you did not want to be with your husband?' asked Severus.

'I don't ever remember a time where I did not want to be with my husband,' said Perenelle with a smile, 'but I do occasionally wish I could throw out his record collection with all that hideous opera music on it. All that opera annoyed me when I met him, and it still annoys me to this day.'

Severus couldn't help but laugh at that. 'How do you fill your days?' he asked. 'Does life not become a drag after living for so long?'

'The earth may be a very small speck of dust within a very large universe,' said Perenelle. 'But there is no such thing as living too many lifetimes, because there is always something left to discover. I have been all over the world, but I have seen nothing yet. Want some champignon soup?'

The mushroom soup Perenelle had started prepping earlier was now boiling gently in the kettle on the fire. 'I'll have some,' said Severus.

'I must say, Severus,' said Perenelle as she started pouring the soup into bowls, 'that I am surprised you have not asked anything about the stone yet.'

'I prefer not to know,' said Severus as he gladly took the bowl of soup from Perenelle's hands. 'Or perhaps I should say that I just don't have any interest in knowing how it works.'

'It must be liberating, not to fear death,' said Perenelle.

'Do you fear death?' asked Severus.

Perenelle shook her head. 'I suppose it must seem that way, since Nico and I have kept ourselves alive for so long. But as Albus would say, death is but the next great adventure. The fact zat our lives will end is what gives it all the meaning we could ever want. Even with the stone, Nico and I are not immortal, and we will not roam this earth forever.'

'Thank you for the soup,' said Severus. 'It is quite delicious.'

'You are welcome dear,' said Perenelle. 'Say, do you believe that it is coincidence zat our paths have crossed?'

'No, I don't,' said Severus, though unsure why he was so certain that their meeting with the Flamels had anything but accidental.

'Me neither,' said Perenelle. 'Our fates are entwined some'ow. 'How, I am not sure yet, but I believe this will not be ze last time we meet.'

…

The conversation Severus had had with Perenelle had been interesting, to say the least. Eventually she had taken the liberty to call Lily and Nicolas from upstairs to join them for some leftover soup, and the conversation shifted from heavy to much more casual.

It was well into the afternoon when Lily and Severus decided that it was a good idea for them to head back to The Burrow, as her parents may have started to wonder where they had gone off to by now.

'Thank you for everything you've taught me,' said Lily as she shared her goodbye with Nicolas. 'It has been a gift.'

'Good luck breaking down all of your walls, dear,' said Perenelle as she cupped Severus's face into her hands. 'Until we meet again.'

Severus did something that was very unlike himself. He pulled Perenelle into a tight embrace and held on to her for a little while. 'Thank you,' he whispered to her. 'For everything.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N ON ALCHEMY: I may not have made this very clear so I'll do it here. Alchemy (though shrouded in tons of mystery) is heavily based on the Aristotelian theory that everything is composed of the four basic elements (along with three essential substances which are salt, mercury and sulfur), Air, Earth, Fire and Water. Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, and Slytherin.


	145. The Enigma Machine

Once Severus and Lily had walked their way up to the road that lead back to The Burrow again, the wheel of the water mill stopped running, the smoke that came from the chimney evaporated, and the bricks and windows appeared cracked on all sides of the old building. It was looking exactly the same way in which the couple had initially stumbled upon it. Abandoned, broken, and mostly uninteresting for anyone who just so happened to pass by.

'That was quite the extraordinary meeting we had,' said Lily as she took Severus by the hand.

Severus nodded in agreement. 'It certainly was,' he said as he looked back one more time at the mill behind him. 'Quite extraordinary…'

'Still can't believe they actually knew your name,' said Lily proudly. 'And not even from the newspapers, but because Dumbledore told them about you.'

'it's because during one of my first meetings with Dumbledore at the start of fifth year,' Severus explained, 'I told him that it may be wise for the Flamels to hide the Philosopher Stone.'

'Is it because it's something that, well, you-know-who might be after?' asked Lily.

'It is,' said Severus. 'The Dark Lord isn't just after control of the wizarding world. He also wants to be in control of it forever.'

'You think that's one of the reasons why he was after the unicorns?' asked Lily.

'Perhaps,' said Severus, although his theory that the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters were after the Thestrals instead still sounded more plausible to him.

'Lily,' said Severus, and slowed down his pace just a little bit, 'before we go back to The Burrow, is just want to make sure that everything is okay between us now.'

Lily stopped walking and took Severus's other hand into her own. 'I had a good conversation about that with Nicolas when you were downstairs with Perenelle,' she said.

'So not just lessons on Alchemy I see,' said Severus as he started to move his hands down her body, and pulled her into an embrace.

'Not just that,' said Lily in confirmation. 'Although I did learn a lot about the relation between Astronomy, Magic and Muggle chemistry and all that. But he also told me some things that really changed my view on you.'

'Care to share?' asked Severus as he leaned in closer so he could sense that familiar musky scent of her again.

'No,' said Lily as she rested her head against his shoulder. 'I've decided I'm going to keep it to myself.'

'That's okay,' said Severus. 'I am just relieved that you're no longer angry with me.'

Lily looked up at Severus and kissed him right on the lips. 'Secretly I still wish that mill was abandoned,' she whispered into his ear.

Severus gently pushed Lily backwards so she could lean up against a tree, and started kissing her down her neck, causing Lily to let out a stifled moan.

'Do you want more of that?' asked Severus as he felt himself grow weaker in the knees.

Lily bit her lip as if she was contemplating on what she really wanted. 'I do,' she said, 'but I also think mum and dad must be looking for us by now.'

Severus ran his hands through her curls, torn between wanting to pin her against the tree and taking her by the hand again so they could walk back to The Burrow. 'I want you,' he said softly. 'I'm selfish and I want you.'

'Well then, why don't you take me,' said Lily as she blinked with her eyes, and subconsciously started to expose her neck to him.

'I wish I could,' said Severus, slowly feeling the blood flowing back into his head. 'I really do.'

'Maybe it's best if we went back,' said Lily as she took one of his hands back into her own.

'Good,' said Severus with a nod, and in a swift motion he pulled her up from the ground and carried her in his arms.

Sev!' cried Lily. 'What are you doing?'

'I'm skinny, not weak,' said Severus as he started walking back towards The Burrow.

'Well I know that,' Lily laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. 'I'm not complaining, but why exactly is it that you are carrying me?'

'I just wanted to see if I could do it,' said Severus. 'And as it turns out, I can.'

Lily put up a wide smile. 'I haven't seen you in such a good mood in a long time,' she said. 'It's good to see that.'

'I do feel much better,' said Severus. 'I had a good conversation with Perenelle when you were upstairs with Nicolas.'

'Care to share?' asked Lily.

'No,' Severus teased. 'I have decided that I am going to keep this to myself as well.'

'Taking the words right out of my mouth are we?' said Lily.

'Yes I am,' said Severus, 'and I think I can see Molly a little further ahead.'

Molly must have taken notice too, as she immediately started heading her way towards the couple.

'Did something happen?' she asked as she ran up to them. 'Did she get hurt? Where have you been?'

'I'm fine Molly,' said Lily, 'and we met this great French couple who live a little further down the stream.'

'We talked with them for a while,' said Severus. 'They gave us some advice we needed it hear.'

'Well I'm glad to see you two are doing better,' said Molly with a smile. 'I think I've met them before in town. Never quite got their names…'

'Neither did we,' said Severus before Lily was able to open her mouth. 'They seemed very private.'

Molly nodded in understanding. 'Well I'm glad you two made it back. Your parents are with Arthur in the shed. I think he's showing them some Muggle things he collected recently.'

'We'll go and save them,' said Lily. 'Care to put me down, Sev?'

Carefully Severus lowered Lily until she was back on her feet. 'We should go save them,' he said. 'I can only hope they're not taking one of our motorbikes apart.'

'I'll go look after the boys again,' said Molly. 'Are you sure you're alright dear?'

'More than fine, Molly,' said Lily reassuringly. 'Thank you.'

Together they made their way to the shed where they found Arthur accompanied by Erwin and Arnica, sitting at a table in the center.

Whatever it was that they were observing, it must be interesting enough as they didn't notice Severus and Lily joining them until they sat down at the table.

'Oh there you two are!' said Arnica as she suddenly looked up. 'Where have you been?'

'Just near that old uh…abandoned mill further downstream,' said Lily, who must have caught on that it might be better to keep the Flamels presence in the village a secret.

'You two doing better?' asked Erwin, and had his eyebrow raised at Severus at the mention of an abandoned mill.

'Much better,' said Lily. 'What exactly are we looked at?'

Severus stared straight into Erwin's eyes, and no Legilimency was needed to understand where Erwin's thoughts were going. Very gently Severus shook his head so only Erwin would see, but quickly came to the conclusion that the whole situation didn't look very convincing.

'This is the Cypher Machine E,' said Arnica. 'Or better know as the Enigma. I've worked with some of these during the war.'

'I've heard you talk about those,' said Lily as she looked at the object in front of her. 'Used for secret messaging and all that. That is really neat.'

Severus figured it looked a lot like an old typewriter with some rotors attached to it. He had never heard of it before, but it looked interesting nonetheless.

'I found it in one of those Muggle second-hand shops,' said Arthur proudly. 'I thought it was a typewriter at first but now I know that it's actually a lot more interesting than that.'

'What does it do?' asked Severus, genuinely interested in the odd object that was standing in front of him.

'I'll let you in on a little bit of history,' said Arnica. 'Enigma is the Greek word for riddle, originates from the nineteen-twenties and was mostly used for diplomatic purposes until the war came, and the machine was popularised to send secret messages as it mixes up the letters that are typed into it.'

'Sounds a lot like a spell we use,' said Severus. 'If you write a letter that you don't want anyone else to be able to read you can scramble up the letters.'

'Which is also very easy to reverse though,' said Lily. 'What I think if you were to type something into this and it scrambles up, the "codes" that come out are technically already correct, meaning you probably can't use magic to decipher the code.'

'I think this is a bit more brilliant than that,' said Arnica as she gently touched one of the keys. 'Never thought I'd see one again.'

'Is there any way we could make it work?' asked Arthur hopefully.

'It's electromagnetic,' said Arnica. 'We're going to need some new four and a half volt batteries for it, and check the wiring before we do that.'

'I got plenty of batteries,' said Arthur as he jumped up and started rummaging in a box full of stuff behind him.

'Sometimes I forget you were a part of the Muggle war too, Arnica,' said Severus. 'Do you think you can actually get it to work again?'

'Just because I wasn't standing on the frontlines doesn't mean I haven't played my part,' said Arnica proudly, and shot Erwin a smile of understanding. 'I do believe I could get it to work again if we're careful with the electronics.'

'Maybe we could also look at one of those radios I got,' said Arthur as he pilled a whole bunch of batteries onto the table.

'Arnica,' said Severus, 'how exactly are you feeling about there being a war in the wizarding world?'

'Horrified,' said Arnica. 'But I have played my part before, and so I will have to play my part again, don't I?'

…

'Severus,' said Erwin as he knocked on the door. 'Mind if I come in?'

Severus had just prepared himself to go to bed, and the prospect of having to have _that_ conversation with Erwin again was the last thing he felt like having right now. 'Sure,' he said reluctantly.

'Thanks,' said Erwin as he closed the door behind him. 'How are you and Lily doing?'

'Much better,' said Severus as he sprawled himself out on the bed. 'I think I know why you're here.'

'Then why am I here?' asked Erwin as he looked down at Severus.

'You think I'm sleeping with your daughter,' said Severus bluntly. 'You're worried and you want to talk about it, but you probably also don't quite know what to say. Am I wrong?'

Erwin let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. 'I don't have to know what you and Lily are up to together,' he said. 'I honestly don't.'

'Then what are you so concerned about, if I may ask?' asked Severus.

'I'm not sure,' said Erwin with a shrug. 'Thing is, I was young once too. I'm not stupid.'

'I promise I won't hurt her,' said Severus.

'I know you won't,' said Erwin. 'I trust you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I just realised that "The Dark Lord and The Death Eaters" sounds like a name a very trashy metal band would have.
> 
> A/N To avoid any confusion, enigma (cypher machine E) machines look a lot like old typewriters. The machine that Alan Turing invented was the computer that managed to decode the information made by enigma machines.


	146. The Prewett Brothers

As well as the previous day had gone, it had taken an unexpected turn for Severus in the middle of the night. Over and over again, he dreamt about that same flash of green light erupting from his own wand, hitting Dumbledore square in the chest, and watched the old man tumble down the Astronomy tower. His body lying broken and in odd angles hundreds of feet below.

Suddenly, two loud voices pulled Severus from his nightmare-induced state.

'WE'RE HERE!'

'Where is our favourite sister in the whole wide world?!'

'Hello Bill!'

From all the running footsteps, Severus could tell that the whole family had just flown down the stairs. He vaguely recalled someone telling him that Molly's brothers were coming over for a visit one of these days, and by the sound of it they finally had arrived.

Severus took his time to get dressed, and by the time he got downstairs he found the whole family crammed into the kitchen. For a split second his heart stopped at the sight of Molly's brothers, wondering if something had suddenly crossed over from his first lifetime. Her brothers were the spitting image of Fred and George, and he found his eyes subconsciously wondering off to their ears to make sure they were all still attached to their heads. Fortunately, Severus counted all four and was able to relax again.

'You okay, Sev?' asked Lily once she noticed he had made it downstairs.

'I'm fine,' said Severus. 'Just had a bit of a rude awakening.'

'Sorry about that,' said one of the brothers as he bounced his way up to Severus. 'I'm Fabian. Pleased to meet you.'

'Severus,' said Severus as he briefly shook hands with Fabian.

'I'm Gideon,' said Gideon with a wave from across the room. 'You're Lily's boyfriend I presume?'

'I am,' said Severus. 'I was wondering when the two of you would show up.'

'How exactly did you two get here?' asked Molly, already busying herself in the kitchen.

'We flew,' said Fabian. 'Got our brooms parked next to those eh…well I'm not sure what they are.'

'Motorbikes,' said Severus. 'They're a Muggle form of transportation.'

'That reminds me, Severus,' said Erwin from across the room. 'Didn't I once hear you mention you could make motorbikes fly like broomsticks as well?'

Severus's eyes shifted from Erwin to Arthur, who looked as if an idea had suddenly sparked in his head. 'I did,' he said, 'but I don't think that would be such a good idea.'

'Why not?' said Arthur. 'We could at least give it a try—'

'—oh absolutely not!' said Molly, and narrowed her eyes at her husband. 'That's illegal and you know it.'

Arthur didn't say anything, but Severus didn't need to perform legilimency to know where his mind was wandering off to. If he understood a little bit about Arthur's way of thinking, that Ford Anglia would be flying by the end of the week.

'Anyone up for a game of Quidditch?' Fabian suggested. 'Can't do that where we live. Too many Muggles in the area.'

'I've never played before,' said Petunia. 'Can I try?'

Both Fabian and Gideon shot Petunia a look of pure horror. 'Never played quidditch before?' sputtered Fabian. 'How come?'

'I'm a Muggle,' said Petunia. 'But I have flown on a broom before though, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem.'

'You want to join, Sev?' asked Lily.

'No thank you,' said Severus dryly. 'I have no interest in breaking my neck today.'

'Oh come on!' Lily whined. 'You played on Slytherin's team last school year.'

The twins's eyes started to shimmer. 'So you're a Slytherin eh?' said Fabian. 'We should definitely hold a match against you then.'

'I only covered for a friend once,' said Severus bitterly. 'And my performance was so abysmal I'm sure my team mates wanted to strip me from my Slytherin status and have me join the Hufflepuff house.'

'Don't let Frank hear you say that,' said Lily with a tilted eye. 'But honestly, Sev, just come and join us for a game.'

'No thank you,' repeated Severus as he pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. 'I have decided that I'm going to be boring and meddle with the rest of the grown-ups for today.'

'Can I play?' asked a very enthusiastic Bill. 'I'm really good at it!'

'Alright,' said Lily as she took Bill by the hand. 'We'll all go play without Severus then.'

'Can't you all wait until after breakfast?' asked Molly. 'I just started making some fish soup.'

'Petunia was it?' said Gideon. 'How about we go outside and teach you the rules of this glorious game called Quidditch, and then come back for breakfast later?'

'I'm in!' said Petunia enthusiastically. 'I'd like to find out what it's all about for once.'

Still holding on to Bill's hand, Lily shot Severus a look of disapproval before leaving the kitchen, followed by Petunia and Molly's brothers.

'Are you positive you don't want to go out Severus?' asked Erwin.

'I'm not a fan of heights,' Severus admitted. 'That's the main reason I prefer not to have some levitation charms casted on my bike either.'

'Then how come you suggested it in the first place?' asked Erwin.

The truth would be because he was reminded of Arthur's flying Ford Anglia when they were talking about enchanting Muggle vehicles, but he hadn't imagined that he would actually own a proper motorbike on such a short notice. 'I wasn't really thinking it through,' said Severus. 'And I still don't think it's a good idea. A lot of things could go wrong.'

Both Erwin and Arthur looked at Severus, and for a split second he wondered if Erwin wan't secretly somehow related to the Weasleys. 'Arthur, you work for the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office,' he added. 'If anyone from the Ministry finds out you'll be in far more trouble than anyone else regarding enchanted Muggle objects.'

Arthur glanced over at his wife, and it was clear that whatever it was that he wanted to say, Molly was standing too close, making it too easy to be overheard.

'Severus,' said Arnica suddenly. 'Could we go out and talk for a moment in private?'

'Well,' said Severus, 'I actually wanted to see if I could make some more of that sunblock cream, and work on improving that motor oil I saved, and—'

'—it wasn't a question, Severus,' said Arnica sternly. 'Just follow me to the shed, okay?'

Reluctantly, Severus stood up and followed Arnica out of the house. He looked over at Erwin once in search for an answer, but Erwin shrugged, indicating that he didn't have a clue either.

'Did you get that Enigma machine to work?' asked Severus, wondering if that could be the thing that she wanted to show.

'It should work,' said Arnica. 'The problem however, is that you need an identical machine that could decode the codes you have created. So for now, there really isn't much that can be done with it.'

Arnica opened the door of the shed and closed it again once Severus had entered it. 'Please sit down,' she said. 'There's nothing to worry about. I just want to talk.'

Severus did as he was told and sat down at the table. 'Anything I should be worried about?' he asked.

Arnica shook her head. 'No,' she said as she sat down beside him. 'Just something that I noticed that I need you to answer truthfully.'

'And what would that be?' asked Severus.

'How come you don't want to go out and play Quidditch?' asked Arnica.

'Is that what this is all about?' asked Severus. 'Because—'

'—the thing is, Severus,' interrupted Arnica. 'For as long as I've known you, you don't act much like a teenager.'

'And here I am thinking that I've been playing my part quite well,' said Severus. 'Your point is?'

'And why exactly is it that you feel the need to play a part?' asked Arnica.

Severus fell very still for a moment. 'I'm not sure,' he mumbled. 'Why are you so concerned though?'

'I can tell when you haven't had a good night of sleep,' said Arnica. 'I may not be your mother but I've known you long enough that I can tell when something's wrong with you.'

Severus's eyes shifted between the Enigma machine and Arnica. 'Promise me you won't tell Lily?' he asked.

'And why it is she can't know?' asked Arnica.

'I don't want her to be any more concerned about me than she already is,' said Severus. 'Also because it's something that I share with Dumbledore.'

'I won't tell anyone,' said Arnica, and took a hold of his hand that he had resting on the table. 'I promise.'

Severus looked into Arnica's blue eyes, and understood that there was truth in her words. He drew a deep breath, and spoke up. 'I have nightmares sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes, for no reason at all.'

'And what is it you dream about?' asked Arnica.

Severus closed his eyes, and opened them again, unsure of where to begin. 'Do you know why I don't like heights?' he asked, knowing very well that Arnica wouldn't have the answer to his question.

Arnica shook her head. 'I do not,' she said. 'Although I do have some very fond memories of finding you and Lily sitting on the roof of the house, so I do find it a bit strange.'

'It's because I'm not afraid of heights,' said Severus. 'I'm afraid of falling.'

'Have you ever fallen down from something?' asked Arnica.

Severus shook his head. 'I've seen someone fall,' he said weakly. 'The problem, is that I'm not sure if it was my fault or not that he fell.'

'Did you know him?' asked Arnica, and her voice was still as calm as it had before his confession.

'I did,' said Severus. 'I watched him fall to his own death.'

Severus could feel Arnica's hand squeeze a little tighter around his own. 'And what makes you think that it might be your fault?' she asked.

'I can't tell,' said Severus. 'That's something that I have to keep between me and Dumbledore.'

'Do you believe it is your fault?' asked Arnica.

'I'm not sure,' said Severus. 'I'm not sure about anything. I just know that falling means the end, and the thought of that frightens me.'

'Thank you for telling me,' said Arnica, and a faint smile appeared on her face.

'Thank you for not questioning me about it any further,' said Severus. 'I don't like having these irrational fears.'

'I'll admit it's not your style,' said Arnica. 'Would you like to go back?'

'Yes,' said Severus, and felt his stomach growl a little the moment he said it, 'but before we go, do you know why Molly's brothers are here?'

'And what makes you think they can't just come over to visit their sister and nephews?' asked Arnica.

'Because I'm positive they are members of Dumbledore's Order,' said Severus. 'I'm not blind.'

Arnica let go of Severus's hand. 'By the end of the day, there's a chance I might be too,' she said.

'Because we all have to play our part, right?' said Severus.

'We all play our part,' said Arnica.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N There's no canonic evidence that Fabian and Gideon were actual twins, but since their names start with F & G and both died during the first war I think it's safe to assume Molly named her twins after her brothers.


	147. Holiday on Dartmoor I

'What are you up to, Sev?' asked Lily.

With two borrowed cauldrons, his motorbike and a supply of ingredients, Severus had locked himself up inside the shed. 'I found some more unicorn hairs out in the woods,' he said without taking his eyes of the cauldron. 'I'm making some more of that sunblock now that there's a whole family of redheads in need of it.'

Severus could hear Lily approach him and sat down beside him. 'And what exactly is that other project you got simmering over there?' she asked as she pointed with her eyes towards the Triumph.

'I wanted to see if I could improve the quality of motor oil,' said Severus, now looking up at Lily. 'They replaced the oil before they delivered my bike but it already turned black.'

'I can tell,' said Lily with a smile. 'Your face is covered in black grease.'

'I'm afraid I got some bad news for you,' said Severus in a serious manner, 'but it looks like the cream is no longer working for you.'

Immediately Lily reached out to her face. 'What do you mean?' she said panicky. 'Did I get a sunburn somewhere?'

'No,' said Severus, 'but you did get a whole constellation of freckles on your nose and cheeks.'

Lily let out a sigh of frustration, and lowered her hands. 'Darn it,' she said. 'I was hoping they would stay away this time.'

'I like your freckles,' said Severus, and with two grease covered hands he cupped her face.

'Great,' said Lily dryly. 'Now I got freckles _and_ motor grease on my face.'

Very slowly Severus leaned in and gave Lily a kiss on the lips.

'Oh gross!' sputtered Lily, and quickly started to wipe the corners of her mouth. 'You even taste like grease.'

'So did you come here to help me improve the taste of motor oil?' asked Severus, 'or was there something else that you wanted to tell me.'

'I asked mum if we could go camping today,' said Lily. 'And by we, I mean the two of us.'

'I nearly forgot about that,' said Severus admittedly. 'What did she say?'

'She wasn't too keen on the idea,' said Lily with a hint of bitterness. 'However, she did believe that I had a good point about not having any control over us when we're at school anyway, and that we also have an assignment that we need to do for Astronomy that can only be done during full moon.'

'That's a lie and you know it,' said Severus with a grin. 'Anything I can do to help her convince?'

'Mum said we should also ask dad,' said Lily. 'If he approves, then all we need to do is tell them exactly where we're going and find some camping gear while we're at it.'

With a swift motion of his arm, Severus indicated to all the Muggle equipment surrounding him. 'I'm sure Arthur could help us dig up some things we'll need. Need me to go talk to Erwin?'

'You can talk much smoother than I do,' said Lily. 'I'm sure dad won't mind either if you use the same Astronomy excuse I used.'

'I'm nearly done with the sunblock,' said Severus, and pointed at a thick white cream that was swirling in one of the cauldrons. 'Not so sure about the motor oil though. Turns out it's more complicated than I thought.'

'I'll finish the cream for you,' said Lily. 'I think dad's still inside the house somewhere.'

'I'll go and find him,' said Severus, and stood up in order to leave, 'but I can't promise he'll say yes.'

Determined to make it happen, Severus made his way to the house and found Erwin accompanied by Charlie in the living room.

'Sev'rus!' said Charlie happily. 'There you are!'

'Hello Charlie,' said Severus, and sat down on the couch beside Erwin. 'How are you?'

Charlie lifted up his arms to indicate that he wanted to be picked up, so Severus obliged and pulled Charlie onto his lap.

'Cute,' said Erwin. 'Are you absolutely sure you don't want to have any of your own some day?'

Charlie leaned against Severus's chest, and within an instant, it appeared he had fallen asleep. 'Pretty positive I'm not the fatherly type,' he said softly. 'Charlie seems to like me though, for whatever reason.'

'I heard from Arnica that you and Lily still want to go camping,' said Erwin.

'Lily wanted to me ask you for permission,' said Severus. 'Everything has been about the war since the moment we arrived here. I think it'll do both of us well if we had the chance not to think about it for a change.'

'I can see that,' said Erwin. 'Where exactly do you two want to go?'

'Dartmoor,' said Severus. 'It's not too far from here and there are plenty of places where we could set up a tent. That, and it gives us the perfect opportunity to work on our assignment for Astronomy. It's a full moon tomorrow, and otherwise we'll have to wait until August.'

Erwin nodded in understanding. 'So if I understand correctly, you two want to stay there for two nights, and come back here by Monday morning.'

'That is the plan,' said Severus. 'If we leave today we'll have a whole day of exploring left tomorrow. I've been told there's a lot of magic to be found in Dartmoor.'

'And can I trust you'll look after my daughter?' asked Erwin.

'Always,' said Severus.

'Good,' said Erwin. 'Then—'

'—oh there he is!' said Arthur suddenly as he came running into the living room. 'Sorry, I thought Charlie had run off for a—what the hell happened?'

Severus looked down at Charlie, who in return growled at his father for the sudden rude awakening. 'Oh shit, I'm sorry,' mumbled Severus, and quickly released Charlie from his grip. 'He's covered in grease.'

'Don't worry about it,' said Arthur as he walked up to his son. 'Nothing that a little bit of magic can't clean before his mother sees it.'

'Let me know if you can get it cleaned up,' said Severus apologetically. 'If not I'll create a potion to soak his clothes in.'

'No really, don't worry about it,' said Arthur as he picked up a writhing Charlie.

'Arthur,' said Erwin before Arthur was able to leave the room, 'is it okay for Severus and Lily to borrow some of your camping equipment?'

'Fine with me,' said Arthur. 'Most of what I have is in the shed. You two going somewhere?'

'Dartmoor,' said Severus. 'Any recommendations?'

'Definitely Bellever Tor,' said Arthur. 'And if you go South-East from there you'll pass Dewer's Hollow until you reach the Laughter Tor. Two Bridges aren't too far from there either.'

'Thanks,' said Severus. 'I'll keep it in mind.'

With a smile and a nod, Arthur made his way upstairs to clean up his still writhing son.

'You could've warned me,' said Severus with a growl.

Erwin couldn't help but laugh. 'I just wanted to see how long it would take before you noticed,' he said.

'And this is why I'm not parent material,' said Severus. 'I'll go tell Lily that we can go.'

Careful not to touch the couch, Severus stood up and made his way back to the shed.

'I assumed you had these things in mind for the cream,' said Lily as she pointed at a supply of small tin boxes. 'It was finished the moment you left so I just scooped it all in there.'

'Perfect,' said Severus. 'Also, Erwin is okay with us going to Dartmoor, and Arthur said we could use whatever camping equipment we need.'

'I knew you were a smooth talker,' said Lily proudly. 'Better start collecting camping gear then, shall we?'

…

After a while they had found a large enough backpack for all their necessities. Although they figured that considering the heat wave they would spend the night outside, they still decided to bring the little tent they had found just in case, as it could easily be fitted into the backpack.

Lily had searched around for clothes inside the house while Severus checked his motorbike for any necessities one last time, and figured he should probably fill up on petrol before leaving Ottery St. Catchpole.

After a quick wash-up to get rid of all the grease stains, Lily and Severus, along with the rest of the family, made their way outside.

'Anything else we need?' asked Severus.

'Perhaps some food,' said Lily, 'but we could always travel to the nearest town and get some there if we need any.'

'Are you not going to be bored without us, Petunia?' asked Severus.

Petunia shook her head. 'Not at all,' she said. 'Fabian and Gideon promised they'd take out.'

'We're going to make her try some Elf-made wine,' said Gideon. 'We know some magical places in town that serve it.'

Severus gave his motorbike a kick-start while Lily swung the heavy backpack over her shoulders.

'You two be careful now,' said Gideon in a serious manner. 'Or the Hairy Hands might get you.'

'Hairy Hands?' asked Severus with a tilted eye. 'What's that about?'

'A lot of strange accidents happen in Dartmoor,' said Gideon. 'Happens quite frequently that motorised vehicles are suddenly steered off the road.'

'Are there ghosts living on Dartmoor that you know off?' asked Lily.

'Probably,' said Gideon. 'If the legend is true however, it's probably a just very nasty poltergeist. Just don't drive too fast on the narrow country roads, and I think two you will be fine.'

'I promise I'll be careful,' said Severus while looking in Erwin and Arnica's direction. 'Ready, Lily?'

With a final wave, Severus kicked the bike into the first gear and together they sped off towards the town's center. After filling the tank up on petrol, they rode off towards the main road and headed Westbound to Exeter.

It felt good to have the wind on his face and to have Lily's arms wrapped around him again. After passing Exeter, Severus decided to approach Dartmoor from the South side toward Chudleigh, and then headed West again into the small town of Bovey Tracey.

Right by the river Bovey in the Mill Marsh Park, Severus discovered a small place where they could eat, and decided to have a short break before they would enter the Moor.

'You think it's true what Gideon said,' said Lily while picking at her dinner. 'About the Hairy Hands?'

'Most legends find their roots in historical truth,' said Severus. 'Dartmoor has many stories—I think I see a map lying over there.'

Lily reached out to the opposite side of the table, and unfolded the piece of paper Severus had pointed at. 'It's a tourist map of Cornwall,' she said.

'Here's Two Bridges,' said Severus as he circled a finger around the center of the map. 'Arthur mentioned it to me. Here's Laughter Tor and Dewer's Hallow is right beside it.'

'Dewer's Hallow,' mumbled Lily. 'Dewer's Hallow…sounds familiar, doesn't it?'

Severus shrugged. 'Probably the location from one of those many ghost stories,' he said. 'I suppose we could set up our tent there. That way we don't have to walk too far to see all the good things.'

'Good idea,' said Lily. 'Did you get the map memorised?'

Severus glanced over it one more time. 'Got it,' he said, and Lily folded it up and shoved it in her pocket.

'So, are we going to hunt some ghosts?' said Lily excitedly.

'We are going to hunt some ghosts,' said Severus.

A/N Full moon fell on Sunday the 11th of July in 1976.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Full moon fell on Sunday the 11th of July in 1976.
> 
> A/N Fun fact! The legend of the Hairy Hands is an actual ghost story from Dartmoor. According to the story a pair of disembodies hands will appear out of nowhere and take a hold of the steering wheel of a car of motorbike, causing the driver to be forced off the road. The story started to circulate some time around the beginning of the twentieth century when an unusual amount of accidents happened between Postbridge (a town in Dartmoor) and Two Bridges. Why the hands are 'hairy' however, is unknown.
> 
> A/N Chudleigh is very close to Exeter, the city where Rowling went to college. It's how she came up with the Quidditch name Chudley Cannons. There's an actual Netball team in Chudleigh called the Chudleigh Cannons nowadays.


	148. Holiday on Dartmoor II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N There are a lot of debates regarding how "magic" in the Potter world works. Especially when it comes to the "strength" of a spell and what is considered "light" or "dark" magic. Wanting to stay as close to Rowling's own idea on how magic works in her world, there's one thing that I keep in mind when I'm writing. In her words: (…) "This is a power like my fictional brand of magic that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate and control, just as much as to understand and sympathise." –Rowling, Harvard Commencement Address.

If there's one thing that Severus and Lily had forgotten to take into account, is that neither had any experience regarding camping; especially not the Muggle way.

'I am severely tempted to pull out my wand,' said Severus, feeling more frustrated than ever. 'I have absolutely no _fucking_ idea how to set up a tent.'

'Just calm down,' said Lily, who so far had been more concerned about creating a campfire than anything else. If we can't set it up, we'll just sleep outside. It's warm enough anyway.'

'It's not so much staying warm that I'm concerned with,' said Severus, and out of sheer frustration he tossed the tent herrings aside. 'It's the fact that there are magical creatures roaming around in this forest, and I doubt they're all harmless unicorns.'

'We didn't encounter any "Hairy Hands" along the road either,' said Lily casually. 'Just try to relax. The sun won't go down for at least while and we always got our wands just in case we do get in trouble.'

Severus slumped down right beside Lily. 'It is beautiful out here, isn't it?' he said.

They had decided to settle at the very edge of Dewer's Hollow. Up North, far into the distance, they could see the outlining of Bellever Tor, standing proudly on a hill between Dewer's Hollow and Dartmoor National Park.

'What exactly do we know about Tors?' asked Lily. 'All I know is that they are rock formations.'

'I know they're made of granite,' said Severus, 'and "Tor" is a Celtic loanword meaning "hill". There are close to thirty Tors in Dartmoor if I'm not mistaken, and they're not even that old. No older than two hundred thousand years. There are much older ones in Scotland.'

Lily looked at Severus with a mixture of admiration and suspicion. 'And why is it you know such random things about Tors?' she asked.

'Because I actually bothered to read the brochure we found,' said Severus. He pulled out the brochure from his pocket and tossed it on Lily's lap. 'Had some interesting things to say about the fauna here too.'

'Lots of horses, sheep and deer here,' mumbled Lily as she skimmed through the text. 'You think there may be magical ones too.'

'pretty sure there are unicorns around,' said Severus. 'Perhaps there are centaurs as well. Some magical birds, kelpies...perhaps even some forest trolls…'

Lily crinkled her nose at the mention of trolls. 'The last thing I want to encounter is some smelly troll,' she said with a look of disgust. 'How are you even supposed to fight a creature with such thick skin?'

'I recommend running away,' said Severus, 'but I've been told that shoving a wand up their nose also does the job.'

'How on earth—'

'—Never mind that,' said Severus quickly. 'How's that fire coming?'

'Perhaps the wood is still a bit too damp,' said Lily as she flicked her fingers over and over again. 'I should probably add some more dry leaves to it.'

As Lily started collecting dry leaves around her, Severus started thinking about magical things he was able to connect to Dartmoor. 'Lily,' he said suddenly, ' would you like me to tell you something about the magical world?'

Lily carried a large pile of dry leaves into the pit she had created and tossed them all into the centre. 'Always,' said Lily.

'I was just thinking about these Tors,' said Severus, 'and I remember a story that my mother once told me about this place.'

'Then I want to hear it even more,' said Lily with a smile. With a few more snaps of her fingers, she finally managed to spark a fire within the pit.

'There is a Tor out here somewhere, that is called Vixen Tor,' said Severus. 'It is named so because many many years ago a witch named Vixana lived inside a cave at the very foot of the Tor. It was told that she stood over six feet tall, was very thin, had a large hooked nose like mine, a face webbed with age and had sunken eyes as green as the moss of a Dartmoor bog. It was known that she hated everything, and everything hated her. During sunrise and sunset she would sit on the very top of her Tor, and waited until some unweary traveller passed by. She would then conjure a very thick moor mist, causing the traveller to be disoriented and stray from the path.'

'What a twat,' said Lily. 'What did she do to the tavellers who strayed?'

'It would lead them into the bog at the very foot of the Tor,' said Severus, 'and there they would be sucked into the ground. The last thing they would hear was the evil laughter of Vixana as they suffocated.'

'Your mother knew some wonderful bedtime stories, Sev,' said Lily sarcastically. 'Does Vixana supposedly still live there?'

Severus shook his head. 'No,' he said. 'If I remember correctly, a young moorman who was granted the gift of clear sight by some pixies threw her off the Tor eventually. He was then rewarded his own farm that he opened to bring shelter to lost travellers.'

'Do you think pixies are able to grand such abilities?' asked Lily. 'I've never heard of it before.'

'I'm not sure either,' said Severus. 'Either way, I'd never trust a Cornish pixie to grand me any such abilities.'

Lily's small fire was cackling softly right before them. 'Want to try to set up that tent again?' she asked.

Severus turned around and looked at the tent that was lying flat against the moor soil. 'I suppose we could,' he said bitterly.

'You hold down the tarp,' ordered Lily, 'and I'll try to get the poles to connect properly, alright?'

With much cursing and swearing, a tent stood erected amongst the trees nearly half an hour later. 'Is it possible for people to be magically frustrated?' said Severus. 'I've never wanted to whip out my wand more than I do now.'

Severus could hear Lily snickering at his words before she opened up the tent. 'Oh would you look at that,' she said suddenly.

'What?' asked Severus. 'Is it a magical tent?'

'No,' said Lily after she had crawled inside. 'A little birdy got caught inside somehow.'

Before Severus was able to crawl in, Lily had stretched out her arms through the flaps of the tent's entrance, holding up a small, blue, and rather angry looking bird.

'Is that a Jobberknoll?' asked Severus after Lily had crawled out of the tent again. 'Looks like it could be a Jobberknoll.'

'No you silly,' said Lily. 'It's a Kingfisher. Such a beauty...'

'You think it has magical properties?' asked Severus. 'It looks like it has the potential.'

'I doubt it,' said Lily as she took a closer look at the bird. 'They're very symbolic creatures though. It is said that the body of a Kingfisher could ward off thunderbolds and storms. That, and it's also said that they bare the promise of prosperity and love that is about to unfold within your life. Like a little light in the dark.'

'I got the feeling this bird has chosen a more murderous path if you don't release it soon,' said Severus. 'I had no idea birds were able to express this amount of anger.'

'I'm sorry,' whispered Lily to the little bird. Slowly she unfolded her hands until the bird had enough space to fly away. Immediately is rose high up in the air, and without looking back, it disappeared.

'Such a pretty thing,' said Lily, still staring off into the distance. 'I hope Leo is doing okay at home.'

'Leo is a remakably bright owl,' said Severus. He'll be doing just fine without us.'

'Tent's up, fire's going,' said Lily, 'and we still got plenty of time before the sun is down.'

'Want to go watch the sunset on top of Bellever Tor with me?' asked Severus.

'How romantic,' said Lily with a hint of sarcasm. 'Mind if I bring some things to eat while we sit there?'

'So you did bring food with you?' asked Severus.

'You honestly think Molly would let us go without?' said Lily. 'I'm pretty sure I spotted some crisps and cookies in that backpack...'

'Them grab them,' said Severus. 'We should go for a walk.'

After Lily had shoved some snacks in her pocket, they set off and started walking up North towards Bellever's Tor. A soft breeze had started to blow, causing the grassy fields to dance around them. The infamous bleakness of Dartmoor was, for once, defeated by the bright sunlight, causing everything to be bathing in a pinkish hue.

'Can we live here?' asked Severus as they approached the Tor. 'I like the remoteness of it all.'

'To be fair, I think this is a little too remote for me,' said Lily. 'I do love how fresh the air is though. So much better than Cokeworth.'

Once Severus was sure enough he had a steady grip, he started climbing on top of the Tor. 'I can't wait to leave Cokeworth for good,' he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Why is this not a magical tent? Canonically it was mister Perkins (colleague) who gave Arthur his magical tent so the family could use it for the Quidditch World Cup. In other words, Arthur didn't have a magic tent up at this point.
> 
> A/N The legend of Vixana is a real story. There's more to it than Severus describes but Severus never struck me as much of a storyteller. Aside from that, Dartmoor is (in)famous for its thick fog that can sometimes appear out of nowhere.


	149. Holiday on Dartmoor III

As if you could hear Vixana's laughter echoing among the clouds, thunder had started to cackle through the darkened sky. The wind howled loudly as it travelled through the Hollow, causing the place to suddenly sound eerie; almost ghost-like, even.

Lily and Severus had made their way back to the tent just in time. The clouds had burst, and a heavy rain started to pour down.

'Bloody hell, I was not prepared for this,' said Lily as she started to check the tent for any leaks. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine,' said Severus. 'Looks like your bloody kingfisher was a bad omen after all.'

'They're supposed to protect you from storms,' said Lily as she unrolled the roll up mattresses. 'Not prevent them.'

'Good,' said Severus, 'because I just remembered that my bike is still out there.'

'Oh shit,' mumbled Lily. 'Do we need to push it further into the hollow?'

'It's not going to be safe out in the open field with all that wind and rain said Severus, 'and it's not going to be safe among the trees either with that uprising thunderstorm.'

'I'd say we push it into the woods,' said Lily. 'Better take the risk. We still need to be able to get back to The Burrow.'

'We'll get soaking—'

'—So be it,' said Lily, and with a graceful jump she made her way outside the tent and into the heavy rain.

Not being left with much of a choice, Severus jumped out of the tent and followed Lily to where he had his bike standing. His hair was already plastered against his face by the time they had reached the bike, and his clothes were sticking against his skin.

Together, they pushed the bike over the slippery ground and into the hollow. Eventually they found a tree large enough that could offer shelter, and figured it was the best thing they could do considering the circumstances.

'Did we bring any towels?' asked Severus as he secured his bike against the tree. 'I hope we—what's out there?'

Lily was standing with her wand in hand, and aimed at a dark cluster of trees. 'I'm not sure,' she said stiffly. 'But something's out there. I just saw it.'

Severus looked around, but it was hard to make out anything with all the rain and shadows that were cast by the trees. Quickly he pulled his wand out and held it up alongside Lily's. 'What did you see?' he asked.

'A flash of white,' said Lily. 'It was too small to be a unicorn though.'

'Could've been a centaur,' said Severus. 'If so, we're better of leaving this place.'

The wind had started to pick up, making it harder for them to communicate without having to shout at each other. 'Lily, we better head back to the tent,' said Severus loudly. 'There are probably a lot of creatures here that want to hide from the storm.'

Lily lowered her wand but did not take her eyes from the trees she was staring at in the distance. 'It can't be—' she mumbled.

'Let's head back,' said Severus, and grabbed Lily by the arm. 'Whatever it is, we're better off leaving it alone.'

Lily allowed herself to be dragged back to the tent, but not without looking around in every direction in search of the thing she had just seen.

Once they made it back, Severus quickly closed off the tent to make sure no more rain was able to pour in.

'What is it you think you saw?' asked Severus as he started taking off his wet clothes.

'Maybe it was a Patronus,' said Lily. 'It's just—I've never seen one before so I'm not sure.'

'Could very well be,' said Severus. 'Perhaps Molly or Arthur sent one to check on us.'

Lily let out a sigh and started undressing as well. 'Think we should go and try to get some sleep?' she suggested. 'Not much else we can do up at this point.'

After tossing their wet clothes into a corner, Severus pulled out a large blanket from their backpack. 'Lie down,' he said.

Lily did as she was told, and Severus sprawled the blanket out on top of her. Warm enough?' he asked.

'It will be if you join me,' said Lily.

Severus crawled underneath the blanket beside her, and could feel her damp hair resting against his chest and she snuggled up against him. 'If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were scared,' he said with a grin.

'I'm not scared,' sneered Lily. 'Just cold.'

Severus planted a kiss on her forehead and held her tightly against him. 'It's perfectly fine if you're—'

A flash of lightening illuminated the entire sky, and a moment later it hit the ground, causing a roaring sound to travel through the woods and the soil to rumble.

'Alright alright!' cried Lily as she pressed her face against Severus's chest. 'It's freaking me out. I should not have been sorted into Gryffindor!'

'You were sorted right where you belong,' said Severus, and ran his fingers over her back to calm her down. 'It's okay to be afraid.'

'Are you not afraid?' asked Lily.

'I can't be when you are,' said Severus.

…

It had been a rough night to say the least. Severus had to come up with a lot of small talk in order to keep Lily distracted from the raging storm around them, and the fact that many more flashes of lightening were hitting the treetops and the ground nearby wasn't helping the situation.

At one point in the middle of the night however, the rumbling of the thunder had stopped, the rain had formed into a drizzle, and the wind had slowed down significantly. Once Lily had fallen asleep, Severus felt sure enough that he could do the same.

It was Lily who woke him up the next day. 'Sev,' she said softly. 'Sev I think we may have Apparated somewhere else.'

'What?' asked Severus in confusion. 'What do you mean?'

'I mean, I'm not sure if we're in the same place or not,' said Lily. 'Just take a look.'

Still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Severus tossed the blanket aside and crawled his way up to the tent's entrance. 'Woah,' he said once he stuck his head outside, 'that is the thickest fog I've ever seen.'

'I can't see anything,' said Lily. 'Not even the trees.'

'Let me get dressed real quick,' said Severus. 'I'll go see what's out there.'

Severus threw on the dry clothes he had left, tied up his boots and crawled outside, only to find himself stepping into a large puddle of mud. 'I can see some outlining of the tree tops,' he said, 'and Bellever Tor sticking out in the distance, but that's about it.'

'Any idea what time it is?' asked Lily.

'No idea,' said Severus. 'I can't even tell where the sun is at.'

'Are we just doomed to sit in our tent until the fog disappears?' asked Lily gloomily. 'This really isn't what I had in mind when we said we'd go camping.'

'I'm going to take the risk,' said Severus.

'What risk?' asked Lily.

'Of using my wand,' said Severus, and pulled out his wand from his pocket. 'There should be rules about emergencies like these. Otherwise I won't be able to find my bike.'

'If it still runs,' said Lily with his hint of frustration. 'You got a way to make the fog disappear?'

'There's an Atmospheric Charm,' said Severus, 'but that supposedly only works indoors. Perhaps Meteolojinx Recanto will work.'

'What about the Drought Charm?' suggested Lily. 'Perhaps it could clear up some puddles.'

'I don't want to try too many spells,' said Severus. 'Perhaps Lumos will have to do for now.'

Severus drew a deep breath and held his wand up. 'Lumos,' he muttered, and a soft light sparked from the tip of his wand. He somewhat expected a Howler to fall out of the sky, but nothing happened, and so he took the risk again by muttering 'Lumos Maxima', creating a much brighter light around him.

'This is bizarre,' said Severus. 'Lily, are you dressed?'

'Yeah,' said Lily weakly, and crawled out of the tent. 'Still can't see anything?'

'Not a damn thing,' said Severus. 'I should be able to see more than this though, now that I got a light on me.'

'Could this be Vixana's work?' asked Lily as she locked her arm into his.

'Lily, Vixana is just a story that—'

'—I know,' said Lily, 'but what I mean to say it, could this fog perhaps be magical?'

'Lumos Solem,' muttered Severus, but the only thing the spell illuminated were themselves, and nearly blinded their eyes.

'I'm afraid you might be right,' said Severus bitterly. 'Something's going on, and I don't like it.'

Lily had started to shiver. 'Is there any way we could walk up to the nearest town?' she asked in a timid voice. 'I don't like the sight of this at all.'

'I have no idea where the nearest town is,' said Severus. 'Only thing I can do is use my wand to point North.'

'Then what do you suggest we do?' asked Lily. 'Just sit in our tent and wait for it to pass?'

'Actually,' said Severus, 'I suggest we pack all of our belongings and head to the top of the Tor. It's the only place where we still have somewhat of a clear view.'

Together they shoved everything they had back into the bag as quickly as they could. Something didn't feel right, as if you could almost taste it in the air.

'I hate this,' muttered lily. 'There's even fog coming into the _fucking_ tent.'

'I don't like this just as much as you do,' said Severus bitterly. 'But please, try to keep your head cool.'

'How do you do it?' snapped Lily as she made her way outside the tent again, and started pulling out the herrings by force.

'Do what?' asked Severus, who was growing annoyed by Lily's sudden change of mood.

'Keep your head cool like that,' she said as she pulled another herring out. 'There's something seriously wrong out there. How can you stay so bloody calm?'

'Leave the tent,' ordered Severus. 'We'll figure out a way to get it later.'

'I asked you something,' snapped Lily as she violently tossed the herrings on the ground.

'What is wrong with you Lily?' asked Severus sharply. 'The last thing we need is panic in a situation like this.'

Before Severus lost Lily out of sight in the fog, he grabbed her by the wrist and started dragging her towards the Tor.

'Could you be careful please!' cried Lily as she tried to yank herself free from his grip.

'I'm not letting you go!' yelled Severus angrily. 'I have no idea what will happen if I lose you out of sight.'

As much as Severus hated to admit it, he did start to gain a sense of fear slowly seeping into his body.

'It's so cold,' whimpered Lily. 'Please, I don't want to go any further.'

'We're halfway there,' snapped Severus. 'Just a few more minutes. If we make it to the top of the Tor it won't be so—'

Lily had stopped dead in her tracks, causing Severus to nearly fall over. 'I can't do this,' she said weakly. 'I can't.'

'Lily we have to,' said Severus pleadingly. He held his face close to hers, so he was able to see the outlining, and noticed that tears were streaming down her face.

'I can't go on,' said Lily is a near whisper. 'I can't, I—'

'Lily,' said Severus as he pressed his forehead against hers. 'What do you see?'

'I feel terrible,' said Lily, and suddenly she started bawling her eyes out.

Severus closed his eyes, cupped her face with both his hands and started thinking for the right words to say.

'Lily,' he said softy, 'I need you to listen carefully to what I am about to say.'

Lily nodded in understanding. 'What is happening?' she asked between heavy breaths.

'Do you remember when we were very little and you asked me to tell you all about Azkaban?' asked Severus.

'Yes,' said Lily.

'Now, do you remember which creature breeds in the mist?' asked Severus.

'Yes,' said Lily, her voice nearly inaudible.

An ice-cold feeling started to run down his spine. 'You're not the only one who feels it,' said Severus. 'I feel it too.'

'Please make it go away,' Lily begged. 'I don't want to see these things inside my head.'

'It will, if we make it to that Tor,' said Severus. 'Please.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Meteolojinx Recanto was the spell Hermione gave to Ron when they were breaking into the Ministry.
> 
> A/N 'I don't recon it can be done. There's nothing. Nothing. Closest was that thing to dry up puddles and ponds, that Drought Charm, but that was nowhere near powerful enough to drain the lake.' - Ron on helping Harry for the Second Task.


	150. Holiday on Dartmoor IV

With a lot of effort, Severus managed to get Lily to the bottom of the Tor. By the time they had reached it Lily had nearly fainted, and he had to struggle to keep her standing on two legs.

'We need to get up there,' said Severus. 'Please Lily, I can't keep carrying you. Try to put your Occlumency shield up.'

'It's hard,' said Lily. 'I don't want to hear these things.'

Until now Severus had been able to resist the bad memories that were rising to the surface by pushing them out, but he had grown tired of keeping up his Occlumency shield. 'Lily, you have to,' he pleaded. 'Dementors will start to come out soon. You have to fight against it. Please.'

The fog that surrounded them was gradually growing darker, and the little bit of sight they had left disappeared, leaving nothing but the top of the Tor visible from above.

'Lily, can you still hear me?' asked Severus.

'Yes,' said Lily weakly. 'I got my wand. I just don't know what to do.'

Severus held Lily's hand firmly into his own, and for once, he was entirely uncertain of what to do. As his vision was obscured, memories of walking blindfolded with Dumbledore through the woods came flooding back to him. He had to rely on his hearing, but the voices that were echoing in the back of his mind were starting to grow stronger.

'I just heard something,' whimpered Lily. 'There's something behind us.'

Severus had a feeling, or rather hoping, that Lily was hearing it all inside her head, but he tried hard to hear what was going on behind them nonetheless.

Lily's fear was confirmed when Severus did indeed hear something walking behind them. It sounded like hooves, but of what creature he could not say.

'SPEAK UP!' yelled Severus, in the sliver of hope that perhaps it was a centaur who was able to guide them out of the fog. Unfortunately, no answer came.

Swinging with both his arms Severus tried to reach out in the hope of getting in touch with whatever was out there, but quickly he realised that that was a horrible decision. 'Lily,' he said, 'can you still hear me?'

Severus tried to reach for her, but where he thought she had been standing only a moment ago, she was no longer standing. 'LILY!' he yelled. 'WHERE ARE YOU?'

No answer came, and desperately Severus tried to feel around where Lily could possibly be standing. He even slummed down on his knees and felt around on the ground to see if she had suddenly passed out. 'LILY WHERE ARE YOU!' he yelled over and over again. 'LILY. Please.'

'No this can't be,' muttered Severus to himself, and was crawling on his hands and knees, convinced that she must be lying unconscious on the damp soil. 'Lily where are you, please.'

The thick graying fog was slowly turning to black, and the feeling of fear and despair that Severus had managed to keep pushed back for so long was now flooding freely through his mind.

Severus continued to crawl and feel around in search for Lily, but it was becoming harder and harder to move on, as if the fog itself was filling up his lungs with a heavy burden that was weighing him down. Tears started to prickle in his eyes. Memories from his father knocking the air of his lungs started to play repeatedly in his mind.

Faintly in the distance Severus could hear the sound of hooves again, but he no longer cared about what was out there. It was as if he no longer cared about anything at all. Once again, Lily was gone. The darkness that surrounded him was almost inviting. An old and familiar sensation of feeling nothing at all consumed him from the inside out.

Images of his father beating up his mother flashed through Severus's mind. He saw Lily laughing at him as the Marauders were dangling him upsides had down. He saw Dumbledore falling down the Astronomy Tower after he killed him. He saw Remus's cold yellow-green eyes as he to attack him inside the Shrieking Shack. He saw—

A loud howling in the distance pulled Severus back to reality. 'No,' he whimpered. 'No it can't be.'

The howling continued, and with all his might Severus lifted up his head towards the Tor, and saw that the full moon had appeared into the darkening sky.

Through all the events, Severus had nearly forgotten that tonight would be the night of the full moon. 'Not werewolves, please,' he whimpered. 'Lily where are you? ANSWER ME!'

The howling sounded much louder now, and quickly Severus bit on his tongue to prevent himself from speaking out loud. With Lily gone, and the prospect of werewolves running through the fog, it felt as if all hope had gone. A part of him wanted to toss his wand aside and give in, but a small spark in his mind kept telling him to find Lily first before losing it all.

Knowing deep in his heart that he was not going to find Lily by crawling all over the damp ground, he kept his eyes locked on the top of the Tor. With all his might, he started crawling his way back, knowing that the only bit of hope he had left to find Lily was by making his way to the top.

The werewolf''s, if that is what it was, continuous howling kept sending ice-cold shivers down his spine. The fog had completely turned to black now, and Severus knew by the foul stench that the dementors had started to hatch. Lily's death was now the one thing that was lingered inside his mind, along with the guilt that came with it.

On his right side he could hear the sound of trampling hooves again. Reaching out, Severus found the bottom of the granite rock formation, and with a lot of effort he managed to pull himself up and wobble on two legs.

'What are you?' said Severus hoarsely into nothing, but as expected, no answer came.

The howling seemed to come closer and closer, and the only thing left to do for Severus was to climb the Tor.

With his wand clenched between his teeth, Severus started to climb up with the last bit of strength he still harboured in his body, until suddenly, a pair of small rotting hands grabbed him by the trousers.

The hooved creature near him started to grunt loudly, causing the dementor that had latched on to Severus to recoil. Severus knew that kind of sound. He was certain that he was now dealing with some sort of deer. Probably the same one that Lily had spotted in Dewer's Hollow during the storm.

The thought of Lily gave him the strength to continue climbing. Severus could tell that the deer, if that is what it was, was following him closely as he was climbing his way up.

More and more small rotting hands were sticking out in the fog, reaching out to the one thing they were able to feed on. The hooved creature beside Severus kept making loud noises, which he was grateful for, as it was the only thing that kept him from losing his sanity.

Severus had nearly reached the top with he was grabbed by a pair of much bigger hands. The outlining of a hood became visible, and a mouth with a breath far worse than any of the others opened right in front of his face, ready to suck out his soul.

This had to be the end. Lily was down there, somewhere. The dementor's breeding had ended, and hundreds, if not thousands, of new dementors were now opening their mouths in search of happiness to feed on.

With tears streaming down his face, Severus was ready to let himself fall down and be consumed. Anything was better than to live another life without Lily.

The creature beside him grunted loudly, and must have latched out with one hoof because the dementor suddenly backed off as if it had been kicked. Severus felt something hard pushing against his shoulder. He reached out to it and felt something solid in his hands that he knew had to be an antler.

The creature pulled him all the way to the top of the Tor, and once they had reached it, Severus allowed himself to rest on both hands and knees as cold sweat ran all over his body.

Severus was no longer breathing in the fog, and it felt as if the clean air from the top of the Tor was granting him with new energy. As he looked up he could see the full moon, adorned with millions of stars presented in the night sky. The brightness of the stars nearly blinded him, so bright was it to suddenly see something after not being able to see anything for so long.

After his eyes had adjusted, Severus took his wand back into his hand and forced himself to stand up. His mind was suddenly clear of everything, and he figured that the dementors were still not entirely through the process of becoming whole.

It was an extraordinary sight to behold. It looked as if he was standing in the middle of a black cloud, reaching as far as the eye could see. 'LILY' he yelled. 'ARE YOU OUT THERE?'

A response came in the form of the same werewolf's howling, causing, yet again, a cold shiver to run down his spine.

'It's too late,' said Severus weakly. 'Too late...'

As he turned around, he came face to face with the creature that had helped him to reach the top. It was a stag, as Severus had predicted. For a split second he thought he was dealing with Potter in his animagus form, but this particular stag was entirely white, and could therefore not be the same.

'What are you?' Severus spat. 'Answer me!'

The stag remained unmoved, standing proudly, and quite unafraid, as it looked Severus directly in the eye.

'I can't fight this many,' said Severus in desperation. 'I don't know how.'

Once again Severus heard the werewolf howl loudly, and so closely it appeared as if it was standing right at the bottom of the Tor, waiting for him to fall down.

'I don't know how,' repeated Severus. 'I don't know—'

Behind the stag Severus could see the black fog slowly started to rise up. Rotting black hands, both small and large, started to stick out, reaching out into nothing.

A memory, perhaps a bad one, started flooding back into Severus's mind as he looked at the stag. It was of the time when he had found Black, still pleaded guilty of his crimes at the time, inside the Shrieking Shack. Lily's son was there, and his friends, and so were Remus and Pettigrew. The last thing he remembered was being knocked out by that Granger girl, and the next thing he found were Black and Lily's son unconscious in the Forbidden Forest. He was told that hundreds of dementors had been there, coming after Black to give him the kiss. Every single one had been defeated.

Entire bodies had started to come up out of the fog and started drifting their way towards Severus. The werewolf's howling beneath him started to grow urgent, and suddenly, everything fell into place.

Severus raised his wand up high. Allowing his mind to fill itself up with memories of his mother, and of Lily, and tore away the depression that had clouded his mind.

Without taking his eyes off the stag, a silver light erupted from his wand. First small, then it started to grow bigger and bigger, until the light had gotten so bright it diffused the stars above him. The light started to swirl around him, and a doe erupted from the tip of his wand. It galloped around, causing all the dementors to recoil and spread out in fear.

As he stood on the very edge of the rock, Severus was forced to his knees by the sheer weight of the magic he was holding up. The fog was quickly thinning, as if the dementors who hadn't hatched yet died instantly by the impact of the Patronus.

Glancing over the edge, Severus could see the outlining of two things below him. The silver doe sped towards it, and her light showed that Lily was lying curled up at the bottom, along with a werewolf who was standing protectively over her body.

Severus could sense he was slowly losing consciousness. He turned his head away and saw that the white stag was still standing there, looking back at him.

'Harry,' whispered Severus under his breath. It was the last thing he saw until the darkness consumed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N If the Tors of Dartmoor sound familiar to you, it's probably because you've either read Doyle's 'The Hound of the Baskervilles', or have seen BBCs Sherlock 'The Hound of Baskerville', where most of the story was filmed near Bellever Tor and Dewer's Hollow. All of this is a big wink to Doyle's story and the third HP book.
> 
> A/N There are white stags and does living in Dartmoor. They are not albino, but have something called leucism which changes their pigmentation pattern. To the Celts, the white deer (also known as harts) were the harbingers of doom, but they got a better reputation during Arthurian times when they were considered a sign to embark on a quest, symbolising humanity's everlasting pursuit of knowledge.


	151. A Town Called Hexworthy

'Psst, Severus,' said a quiet voice in the distance. 'Severus, are you awake?'

Although Severus could hear a voice echoing in his mind, his body was fighting hard against rising to the surface. He had dreamt of nothing, thought of nothing, and the idea of continuing to wallow into nothing seemed much better than the face the loudness that the woken world had to offer.

'You know Severus,' said the distant voice calmly, 'I kissed your girlfriend once.'

Immediately Severus's eyes popped open, and regretfully so, as a light as bright as the sun was shining into his eyes. 'Fuck,' he mumbled.

'No, we certainly didn't do that,' said the voice. 'Glad to see you're awake though.'

'Where Lily?' said Severus demandingly. 'WHERE—'

Immediately a hand was shoved over his mouth to keep him from yelling. 'Lily's safe, and asleep,' said the voice. 'Please keep your voice down. The entire Order of the Phoenix is here.'

As Severus's eyes adjusted to the light, Remus's face appeared to be hovering over him. 'Remus,' said Severus after Remus had removed his hand again, 'is she alright?'

'We gave you both a potion for a Dreamless Sleep,' said Remus. 'She's sleeping in my bed in the room across the hall.'

Severus tossed the covers aside, ready to check on Lily, but Remus pushed him back. 'Sorry, but this is a small house, Severus,' he said in a serious manner. 'If anyone from the Order sees you, they will start to question you about everything that happened last night. Even Dumbledore's here.'

'I just want to make sure she's okay,' said Severus, and felt a lump starting to form in his throat.

'She is,' said Remus calmly. 'I promise. Can we talk, please?'

'I'll take your word for it,' said Severus with a sneer, and pulled the covers back over him. 'It was you out there last night, weren't you?'

'Yes,' said Remus. 'Turns out being a werewolf has its perks. I picked up your scent when I was running around the moor, and then I heard you calling for Lily. That's when I noticed the unusual thick mist.'

'You saved her life,' said Severus quietly.

'Pretty certain you played a part on that matter as well,' said Remus. 'Care to tell me what exactly happened out there?'

'Well,' said Severus, 'it started with the incredibly stupid decision of us to go camping for the weekend, and—'

'—I kind of figured out that part,' said Remus sharply. 'I'm talking about you standing on top of that Tor, blasting a million dementors away.'

'Certainly there weren't that many,' said Severus dryly. 'But there was a white stag—'

'—Pretty certain your Patronus was a doe,' snapped Remus.

'There was an actual white stag right behind me,' Severus snapped back. 'Why are you being so touchy about this?'

Remus leaned forward and lowered his voice. 'Because, Severus,' he said, 'it's not every day some minor produces a full corporeal Patronus, fights off a ton of dementors, and lives to tell the tale.'

'Do they know?' asked Severus. 'The people out there, do they know?'

'I didn't tell them anything,' said Remus. 'I would however, like an answer from you.'

'What is it you're asking?' asked Severus. 'And where exactly are we, anyway?'

'You're in Hexworthy,' Remus explained. 'It's a small town just South of the West Dart River, and it's where I currently live with my parents. Now, what I'm asking from you, is how in the bloody hell you're capable of producing a Patronus of that particular degree.'

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. 'My mother taught me—'

'—That is bullshit and you know it, Severus,' sneered Remus. 'Just like your ability to Apparate, right? I'm not buying it. Ever since the start of our fifth year I hardly recognise the man you used to be. Who—'

'—Maybe it is you who needs to keep his voice down,' snapped Severus under his breath. 'There are some things that I cannot tell you, or to any of my other friends, or worst of all, Lily. Understood?'

Remus sighed, and gave out a small nod of understanding. 'You are an extraordinary wizard, Severus,' he said softly. 'Whatever the secret is that you harbour, make sure no one has to suffer from it.'

'Is there any way I can see Lily?' asked Severus. 'Please.'

'She's across the hall,' said Remus. 'I'll see what I can do but the place is really packed.'

Remus stood up and opened the door. The moment he did it felt as if an explosion of sound came bursting into the room. Dozens of voices were blurred together, and seemed to argue about nothing else but the dementor attack. Remus hurried himself across the hallway and opened up the door to the other room, and waved at Severus to come out of bed.

On the tips of his toes, Severus reached the edge of the doorframe, and peeked around the corner to make sure no one was looking. He saw all of the Weasleys, including the children, were present. As were the Prewetts. He could even hear Erwin's voice somewhere behind a corner talking to, what was unmistakably, Dumbledore. When it appeared everyone was looking the other way, he quickly jumped across the hall into the opposite room, and shut the door behind him.

Remus had flicked on the light. The room was very starkly furnished. Just a simple desk, a shelf loaded with books and an old, but comfortable looking bed were standing in it. Only a few curls of Lily's hair were sticking out from underneath the covers.

Severus approached her carefully and sat down on the edge of the bed. Very gently, he pulled some of the covers away from her face, and was relieved to see that at least she wasn't physically harmed. Tears had started to prickle behind his eyes. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered, and leaned in to give her a kiss on her cheek.

'You did save her,' said Remus as he sat down on the opposite side of the bed. 'Along with many others.'

'I shouldn't have let go of her hand,' said Severus bitterly. 'I shouldn't have. That's when I lost her.'

'You saved her,' Remus repeated. 'You did what you needed to do. Now, what are you going to tell when she wakes up?'

'I can't tell her,' said Severus, realising just how sour it tasted that he, once again, had to lie to her. 'There was a white stag though. I can tell her about that.'

'There was no stag Severus,' said Remus. 'If there was I—'

'—There was,' said Severus. 'Lily has seen it too. It had been following us since the storm came the day before.'

'And what about it?' asked Remus. 'You do realise there are plenty of deer running around on the Dart, right?'

'This one was different,' said Severus, and absentmindedly started stroking Lily's hair with the tips of his fingers. 'But that is something that I will have to sort out with Dumbledore. Try to find out and see if there's anything about magical stags in the books.'

'The only magical stag I know is James,' said Remus with a tilted eye.

'I'm pretty certain that it wasn't Potter,' said Severus. 'First of all, it—'

'—Could you two stop talking, please?' said a muffled sound from underneath Severus's hand. 'It's so loud...'

'Lily,' said Severus quietly, and tilted his head so he could look her straight in the eye. 'Are you alright?'

'Not with you two bickering right above my head,' said Lily with a growl, and kicked the blanket a little further away.

Severus wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry. Watching Lily waking up as her endearing self was the confirmation he needed that everything was indeed alright with her.

'Where the hell am I?' asked Lily, and forced herself to sit straight up.

'Try to keep your voice down,' said Remus. 'You're in my bedroom, which is in a little town called Hexworthy just South of where you two were camping. The entire Order of the Phoenix is here as well.'

Lily clutched her head, and Severus wrapped his arms around her so she could lean up against him. 'It was terrible...' she whimpered, and Severus could tell that the memory of the night before was starting to come back to her.

'Want me to go get your parents?' asked Remus. 'I think they would appreciate to see that you have woken up.'

Lily nodded in agreement. 'Please do,' she said.

Remus stood up and headed for the door. 'They already know everything about what happened out there,' he said reassuringly. 'Don't worry about having to explain yourselves.'

As Remus shut the door behind him, Severus pulled Lily a little tighter against him. 'I thought you were gone for good,' he said, feeling the lump in his throat return.

'I'm still here,' said Lily, and smiled through her tears. 'So, you saw that stag again?'

'I did,' said Severus. 'He even helped me to reach the top of the Tor. I don't remember much after that.'

'Bizarre,' said Lily. 'How did we make it out?'

'Remus found us,' said Severus. 'It was a full moon, remember? Remus was able to make it through the fog because dementors can't affect animals.'

'Lily!' cried Arnica as she came bursting through the door, and flung her arms around both of them. 'Severus! I'm so glad to see you two are awake.'

She was quickly followed by Erwin and Petunia, who all sat down on the bed beside them. 'I'm so glad to see you two are alright,' said Erwin with tears in his eyes.

For a while nothing but small talk was exchanged. Severus learned that his motorbike and the tent had been found, and that Arthur had taken on the challenge to work on the bike's wiring to keep himself occupied. Eventually, Erwin had to bring up the fact that Dumbledore was out there waiting to speak with Severus.

Figured that it would be best to get it over with as soon as possible, Severus released Lily from his embrace and made his way to the living room. Remus hadn't exaggerated that the place was packed. It did seem as if the entire Order of the Phoenix was there. He recognised Marlene McKinnon, who was speaking to Alastor Moody. Fabian and Gideon were there too, looking much more serious than they had when they arrived at The Burrow. There were many others, but Dumbledore, who was sitting at the dinner table, caught his eye.

'It is good to see you, Severus,' said Dumbledore with the familiar twinkle in his eye. 'Care to go on a walk with me?'

Severus nodded, and together they made their way outside of the house. 'Nobody knows exactly how the dementors were defeated,' said Dumbledore after they passed through the gate, 'although I am sure, you must have had something to do with that.'

'I conjured a Patronus,' said Severus. 'It's a doe. You've seen it before.'

'I am well aware,' said Dumbledore calmly. 'The problem, however, doesn't lie with how they were defeated.'

'Did a letter from the ministry arrive?' asked Severus. 'I've been using magic outside of school. The ministry must be aware.'

'I can assure you, I took care of that,' said Dumbledore as he waved it off. 'You have received an official warning, and so I must ask you to be a bit more careful next time, but that is not the problem I meant to address.'

'Then what is it?' asked Severus, feeling slightly relieved at the fact that he did not have to deal with the Ministry after his rule breaking.

'It is the fact that dementors are not supposed to be anywhere else other than Azkaban,' said Dumbeldore. 'The question how they were defeated matters little to how they ended up on the Moor in the first place.'

'You think Death Eaters could be behind it?' asked Severus. 'Dementors do make a great weapon in a time of war.'

'Dementors have no loyalty,' said Dumbledore. 'They only side with those who are able to feed them. That's why Azkaban was the favoured place to keep them. Far away from the world of the living and the sane. Death Eaters could be behind it, but so does the Ministry, or for all we know, one could have escaped and decided to breed in the one place where there would be a guaranteed mist. The Moor is the perfect place for it, after all.'

'Does the ministry still want to place dementors around Hogwarts?' asked Severus.

Dumbledore let out a sigh and look at Severus in a serious manner. 'If miss Umbridge gets her way, then I'm afraid so,' he said.

Severus nodded in understanding. 'I suppose the research will be up to the Aurors up at the point,' he said.

'It will be,' said Dumbledore.

'Then I have one more question for you before we head back inside,' said Severus.

'And what would that be?' asked Dumbledore curiously.

'Do you know anything about white stags?' asked Severus. 'There was one, last night, and he helped me to get on top of the Tor so I could defeat the dementors. I don't know what it means.'

Dumbledore placed a hand on Severus's shoulder in a reassuring manner, and smiled. 'I think you know exactly what it means.'

'I don't,' said Severus as he shook his head. 'If anything, it's making me more confused than ever.'

'It means, Severus,' said Dumbledore as he lowered his voice, and looked him straight in the eye. 'that you have met your equal, and your counterpart.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Hexworthy is a real and existing town, and is located just south of Dewer's Hollow past the West Dart River. It's unknown where Remus lives (or used to live), but what we do know is that he originally came from Wales and moved around a lot due to his lycanthropy. I chose this town because A) It fits within the story and, B) the name is just too damn good not to use.


	152. The Shadow a Man can Cast

The members of the Order of the Phoenix lingered around till late into the evening. Severus consciously decided not to interfere with any of the things that were being discussed, and spend the late hours with Remus and Lily in Remus's room.

'Kind of a shame full moon had to fall on the eleventh this month,' said Remus as he twirled around in his desk chair, and started unwrapping a chocolate bar he had found in one of the kitchen cabinets.

'Why's that?' asked Lily, who had started to feel significantly better over the course of the evening.

'Sirius and James invited me to a Thin Lizzy concert at the Apollo in London,' said Remus grudgingly. 'They felt pretty bad after I pointed out that the concert fell on a full moon.'

'And they didn't even invite us?' said Lily, looking as if she had just been personally insulted, and snatched a piece of chocolate from Remus's hands.

'They probably just wanted it to be the four of us,' said Remus. 'I'm pretty sure Peter went.'

'But still,' said Lily with a groan. 'Thin Lizzy...that must've been a blast.'

'Now there's a bass player I would've liked to see perform,' said Severus. The very thought of Potter and Black out in London having fun while they were fighting for their lives put a sour taste in his mouth.

'First time I've been taking the Wolfsbane potion that wasn't made by either of you,' said Remus in an attempt to change the subject.

'How did that work for you?' asked Severus after he ate some of the chocolate he had been handed.

'Perfect,' said Remus. 'I was even able to speak with my parents in werewolf form for the first time. Decided to go for a run on the Moor after that. Being able to run freely without having to fear anything felt liberating.'

'I'm really happy to hear that, Remus,' said Lily genuinely. 'So what do you two think happened to the dementors?'

Remus's eyes quickly flashed to Severus and back. 'I honestly don't know,' he said, 'but right now I'd be more concerned about whether any of them have managed to escape. What do you think, Severus?'

'Perhaps something went wrong in the breeding process,' said Severus, and nearly bit his tongue over how stupid his excuse must have sounded. 'There's very little known about it after all.'

I'm just glad they're gone,' said Lily with a shiver. 'Think we should call it a night?'

'Are we going back to Cokeworth tomorrow?' asked Severus.

'If Arthur managed to get your bike up and running, then yes,' said Lily. 'Don't really feel like going back home yet, though.'

'Why's that?' asked Severus. 'I'm sure Leo will be happy to see you again.'

'Because Vernon is coming to visit,' said Lily with a sneer. 'I was wondering when we'd see him again.'

Severus looked at Remus with pleading eyes. 'Is there any way we can stay here for the rest of the summer?' he asked. 'Dealing with Vernon is the last thing I want.'

'Who's Vernon?' asked Remus curiously.

'My sister's _boyfriend_ ,' said Lily, and made a gagging sound on the word "boyfriend".

'According to Erwin he puts proud moustache baring men to shame,' said Severus. 'He's not wrong.'

'Is he really that bad?' asked Remus with a tilted eye.

'Let me put it this way,' said Severus. 'If I had to choose between facing a thousand dementors or Vernon, I would pick the d—'

Severus was forced to keep his mouth shut, as Petunia suddenly came barging into the room. 'Everybody left,' said Petunia as she flung herself onto the bed. 'We're staying here for the night and the Weasleys are coming back tomorrow morning to say goodbye.'

'Did my mum mention anything about the arrangements?' asked Remus.

'Well, Lyall conjured a bed for mum and dad in the living room,' said Petunia, 'and Hope said I was to stay here with Lily while you and Severus stay in the guest room. I think Lyall was supposed to come in here and make some more beds...'

Severus looked at Remus. 'Looks like we're having yet another pyjama party together,' he said.

'I'm not complaining,' said Remus.

…

The Weasleys, along with Molly's brothers and the boys came back the next morning.

Severus was glad to see that his bike had been retrieved with very minor damage. It had gained a few scratches and some of the wiring of the headlight had been damaged, but Arthur and Erwin had been able to repair it with some Muggle knowledge and a few gentle taps of a wand.

'Nice ride,' said Remus as he admired Severus's motorbike. 'I think I heard Sirius talk about wanting something similar.'

'Thanks,' said Severus. 'I'll see if I can rub it in his face when we all meet up at Diagon Alley.'

'Yeah, I'm sure he'll appreciate that,' said Remus with a hint of sarcasm. 'When were we going to meet up again?'

'Twenty-forth if I'm not mistaken,' said Lily. 'I suggest we all just meet up in Frank's mother's shop around noon or so.'

'I'll write everyone about it,' said Remus. 'That way we'll all end up in the same place at the same time.'

The Weasleys and the Prewetts were going to stay with the Lupin's for a bit longer, and Severus got the feeling that Lyall was just about to become a new official member of the Order of the Phoenix after everything that happened.

After sharing their formalities of gratitude and goodbyes, everyone who was present found themselves outside of the house, watching Arnica and Petunia step into the Austin, and Erwin mounting his Royal Enfield.

'Bye Sev'rus,' said Charlie as he waved.

'Bye little friend,' said Severus as he picked up Charlie from the ground. 'I think we'll see each other around Christmas again.'

Charlie shot Severus a look as if he didn't understand half of what he was told. 'Soon?'

'Quite soon,' said Severus, and gently put Charlie on the ground again. 'Are we all ready to go?'

Lily gave Remus a firm hug before she put on her helmet. 'I don't know where we'd be without you, Remus,' she said. 'See you soon.'

'We'll see you all around Christmas again,' said Molly, looking a bit teary-eyed.

'Please let me know when the baby has arrived,' said Lily as she sat down on the motorbike and wrapped her arms around Severus. 'Can't wait to meet him or her.'

Not many words were being exchanged as they rode back to Cokeworth. After a quick stop in Bristol, they had managed to be back home shortly before tea time.

As much as Severus despised Cokeworth as a whole, it still felt good to be back after everything that had happened over the course of the past week. There was something comforting in the prospect of being able to sleep in his own bed again, and the only thing that was standing in the way was the fact that Vernon could show up at any minute.

'Leo!' Lily cried happily as she stormed inside the house. 'It's so good to see you again.'

Leo seemed equally happy to see everyone walk inside the house, and felt the need to greet everyone individually.

'So, now what?' asked Lily as she as she stretched herself out on the couch.

'Have you forgotten?' said Arnica strictly. 'You are Severus are still responsible for doing laundry, setting up the table, cooking...'

'Yeah I haven't forgotten,' said Lily irritably. 'So, when's _Vernon_ coming, Tuney?'

'In about an hour or so,' said Petunia, who either hadn't caught on with Lily's sneer or simply decided to ignore it.

Severus decided to set the example and immediately went to work by collecting all their laundry. By the time he was finished Lily had already set up the table, and Erwin was sorting through all the mail that had come in when they were gone.

'Severus,' said Erwin as he pointed at the chair beside him, 'could you come here for a second.'

'Sure,' said Severus as he sat down. 'Anything for me?'

'I received a confirmation that we can go visit your father in prison,' said Erwin. 'Is that something you still want to do?'

Severus took a good look at the letter, stating that an appointment had been scheduled for the fifth of August. 'I do,' he said. 'It's something that I need to close for myself.'

'In that case I'll confirm the appointment for us,' said Erwin as he folded up the letter again.

Petunia ran to the front door the moment the bell rang, and Lily pretended as if her head was about to explode. 'Save me,' she said in a whiny voice.

'Just try to be nice,' said Erwin, but it was obvious from his tone of voice that he was looking forward to it as much as Lily was.

'Hello,' said Vernon in his usual gruffy voice as he walked inside the kitchen.

'Hello,' said Lily, and smiled a smile that was far from genuine. 'Here for dinner?'

'Hello,' said Severus as he looked up at Vernon, and noticed that he had grown significantly since the last time they had met, specifically around the middle. 'How have you been?'

'Busy as usual,' said Vernon, and without pardon he sat down in the chair that was usually reserved for Lily, and flung an arm over the chair beside him. 'It's not easy trying to run your father's business from time to time.'

'I'm sure your life must be very tough,' said Severus dryly. 'How—'

'—Petunia dear!' cried Vernon, 'how come you're not making dinner tonight?'

'Because Sev and I got in trouble a while back,' said Lily as she banged a frying pan onto the stove, causing Vernon to jump a little in his chair. 'And it's my turn to poison everyone.'

Petunia sat down beside Vernon and bit her lip as if she wanted to say something, but decided against it. 'Lily can cook,' she said softly as she patted Vernon's chest in reassurance. 'How was your trip here?'

'Nearly crashed into one of those young hoodlums that like to ride on motorbikes,' said Vernon with a growl. 'What is it with people who feel the need to roar along like maniacs?'

Severus noticed that it was Erwin's turn to bite his tongue and decided to say something before Erwin was able to lash out. 'I recently bought a motorbike,' he said. 'Want to see it?'

'Aren't you a little too young to ride one of those things?' asked Vernon. 'Either way, you do strike me as the type.'

'Erwin's bought a motorbike as well,' said Arnica as she joined the conversation.

'Consider it the finishing touch of my mid-life crisis,' said Erwin proudly. 'I bought the same bike I used to ride when I was still serving in the army.'

Vernon looked at Petunia with pleading eyes as if to say she needed to pull him out of the mess he just got himself into. 'I just—'

'—So, would you like to see my bike or not, _Vernon?'_ asked Severus.

'No thanks, I'm good,' said Vernon, and looked at Severus with sheer disapproval. 'I see you got a letter from London?'

By London, Vernon obviously meant the letter that had come from London's prison system that was still lying on the table.

'If you feel the need to stab at me because my father's in prison,' said Severus roughly, 'then—'

'—So, Vernon,' said Lily loudly as she violently started chopping onions. 'How do you feel about Tuney going to art school?'

'Well, she hasn't been accepted yet, has she?' said Vernon. 'Either way, I guess I'll just have to let her do what she wants.'

'If you will excuse me,' said Severus as he got up from the table. 'I think I'm going to be sick.'

Quickly Severus made his way upstairs and slammed the door behind him once he had reached his room. There, he found Leo resting peacefully in the windowsill. 'Smart move,' he said as he approached the owl.

Severus heard Lily's footsteps on the staircase and wasn't surprised to find her barging into his room a moment later.

'Figured you weren't really getting sick,' said Lily, and wrapped an arm around his middle.

'I was two more comments away from either actually throwing up, or whipping out my wand,' said Severus with a sneer.

'Just leave the bullshit to Vernon,' said Lily, and planted a kiss on his cheek. 'He's been throwing up nonsense the moment he opened up his mouth anyway.'

'One of these days I'm going to rip that pathetic moustache from his face,' said Severus, and was unable to suppress a smirk at the very thought.

Subconsciously Lily reached out to her upper lip, as if she could almost feel how painful that must be. I'm not stopping you,' she said, 'but I think you'll have to fight dad over that one. He'll probably want to go first.'

Severus let out a sigh and rested his head against Lily's shoulder. 'Please don't make me go downstairs again,' he said.

'Just try to bite through it for now,' said Lily. 'And besides, I refuse to go down alone. I need you to keep me from committing murder.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus, and pulled Lily into a tight embrace. 'Aside from Vernon, it does feel good to be home.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Full moon fell on the 11th of July in 1976. Thin Lizzy did play at the Apollo in London that very day, along with Graham Parker. Phil Lynott was the lead singer and bass player. There's a statue of him in Dublin, and people still leave picks at the statue in his memory.
> 
> A/N (…) He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank and Harry were just a few of his favourite subjects. This morning, it was motorbikes. '...roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums,' he said, as a motorbike overtook them. (…) – Vernon, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.


	153. Breakfast with a Message

Vernon's presence had certainly put a downer on the remainder of the evening. The only thing that had made it a bit more bearable were Lily's sly remarks every time Vernon had puked out yet another crap story. By the time Vernon had left, Lily and Severus had spent most of their time out of earshot discussing which curses would be the most fun to use on Vernon once they were allowed to use magic outside of school.

The next morning, Arnica had taken a hold of Erwin's old leather jacket. 'Anything you want to do with this, or would you like me to toss it out dear?' she asked.

'Might as well toss it,' said Erwin. 'It's worn out and otherwise it'll just start lingering around the house.'

'Then I'll bring it to—'

'–Nooo!' cried Lily as she stormed into the kitchen, and snatched the jacket from her mother's hands. 'Please don't throw it away.'

Severus, who had taken the responsibility of setting up breakfast, looked at Lily with amusement. 'Did you still want sleep underneath that thing?' he asked. 'You're probably still small enough.'

'Oh shut it, Sev,' said Lily as she narrowed her eyes dangerously at him. 'I've got a lot of memories attached to this old thing.'

'And what exactly did you plan on doing with it?' asked Erwin. 'The leather's all worn out, and—'

'—It can be fixed,' said Lily as she held the jacket tightly against her. 'With magic, I'm sure it can look as good as new.'

'And then what?' asked Erwin, looking equally as amused as Severus at Lily's scene. 'What do you plan on doing with it?'

'You could wear it again,' said Lily. 'I mean, it's too big for Sev or me, but you could.'

'I already got a new jacket Lily,' said Erwin. 'There is no need for me to keep it.'

'But,' Lily stammered. 'But...you can't just throw it out.'

'If you can think of someone else who would love to have it,' said Erwin, 'feel free to give it away.'

Lily held the jacket up in front of her, and her eyebrows formed into a frown as if she was torn between several choices. 'Sev,' she asked eventually, 'would you be able to fix it?'

'Do I look like a tailor to you?' said Severus with a raised eyebrow. 'The only person I can think of who may be able to fix it is Frank, or perhaps his mother.'

'That might be a good idea,' said Lily. 'I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could give it to Sirius.'

'Why him?' asked Severus as he started shoving bacon onto everyone's plates.

'Well, Sirius has gone through some crap lately,' said Lily, 'and I know he's really into these kinds of things, so why not?'

Petunia must have been stirred by the scent of bacon, as she walked into the kitchen and looked at her plate in approval. 'Smells good Severus,' she said as she sat down. 'I think I see an owl coming.'

Severus craned his neck to look outside. A church owl was flying up to the house at rapid speed, and quickly he opened the window so the owl could land safely. The owl flew off again the moment Severus had untied a copy of the Daily Prophet from its paw, and quickly unrolled it.

'I haven't seen you receive newspapers lately,' said Lily as she tossed the jacket aside. 'How come?'

'I made sure I only receive something when it's actually important,' said Severus without taking his eyes off the front page. 'This is bad.'

'Just spread it out,' said Lily as she shoved some breakfast plates aside. 'How bad is it?'

'Really bad,' said Severus with a growl, and tossed the newspaper onto the table for everyone to read. On the cover was a large picture of Bellever Tor, surrounded by a soft mist that was gently drifting around the Moor.

_**Despair on Dartmoor!** _

_The guards of the wizarding prison Azkaban, better known as Dementors, have been sighted on Dartmoor this past weekend._

'Why are they writing about it now?' asked Lily. 'Why not sooner?'

Severus just shrugged. 'Keep reading,' he said.

_Dartmoor, famous for its mythical mists, appeared to have been chosen as a breeding place for these dangerous creatures. It is unknown how or why the Dementors ended up there, as none have been reported missing from Azkaban._

_Rumour has it that Dementors will be assigned as the new guards of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry by the start of next school year. Minister Minchum, responsible for doubling the number of Dementors in Azkaban, was unavailable for commentary._

'But that's not a rumour, isn't it?' asked Lily.

'Dumbledore's against the idea,' said Severus, 'but I don't think that he's going to win this fight with the Ministry. Minister Minchum is rather persistent when it comes to securing Hogwarts with Dementors.'

_Ministry officials have been placed in and around the Moor for further investigation. Thus far, two main questions have been raised. How did they end up on the Moor, and also, how they mysteriously disappeared again. So far the only link made between the disappearance is that between none other than the youngest member of the Order of Merlin, Severus Snape, who happened to be present on the Moor the very same day._

One by one the family looked up at Severus the moment the read his name. 'Sev, how—'

'—My name,' said Severus angrily, 'once again, smothered across the front page without any form of consent.'

'How do they even know you were out there?' asked Lily. 'Or did someone from Dumbledore's Order sell you out?'

'I don't know,' said Severus as he folded his arms across his chest. 'It's not as if anyone from the Order asked me what happened aside from Dumbledore, and selling me out to the Daily Prophet is the last thing he'd do.'

'Severus,' said Erwin calmly as he shoved the newspaper aside, 'what exactly happened out there on the Moor?'

'You know what happened,' said Severus, trying hard not to snap. 'Lily and I tried to make it to the Tor and couldn't reach it. We were very fortunate that Remus found us on time.'

'And than that white stag found you,' said Lily softly.

'That white stag is a bigger mystery to me than those Dementors,' said Severus, 'but there's no mention of the stag in the newspaper.'

'You really don't remember anything from when the Dementors disappeared?' asked Erwin.

Severus looked Erwin straight in the eye. 'Nothing at all,' he said. 'As far as I know, the only thing that can defeat a Dementor is a Patronus charm. My assumption is that either something went wrong in the breeding process or someone unknown managed to cast a very powerful Patronus and decided not to reveal his or her identity.'

'Headmaster Dumbledore told me that you received an official warning from the ministry for using magic,' said Erwin in a serious manner. 'How come you haven't told us?'

'It must've slipped my mind,' said Severus. 'I did use several spells to try to find my way through the mist. Dumbledore made sure I didn't get into any serious trouble though.'

'Severus,' said Arnica, 'what do you think the consequences are now that your name is mentioned in the newspapers again?'

'That the Dark Lord will see my name again,' said Severus stiffly. 'That he might try to find and contact me one way or another.'

'Is there any way Dumbledore could protect you when you're not at Hogwarts?' asked Arnica.

'I'm sure Dumbledore has his ways,' said Severus, and wondered why he hadn't bothered to ask auror Moody why he was no longer patrolling the streets of Cokeworth anymore when he had the chance. 'He promised he would contact me before the end of the month.'

'You think you'll get to talk to Dumbledore in private before you two head back to Hogwarts?' asked Erwin.

'I'm hoping for an invitation,' said Severus.

'Could we please just start eating our breakfast?' asked Petunia quietly. 'Sorry it's just...our food is getting cold.'

'Petunia,' said Arnica strictly. 'That is a bit—'

'—No Petunia is right,' said Severus before Arnica was able to start a rant. 'I should let it go for now.'

Breakfast was eaten in almost complete silence. Severus had lost most of his appetite after the Daily Prophet's arrival and offered Erwin to finish his plate. After all the dishes had been cleared from the table, Petunia told Severus that she had started using the special ink he had made for her, and was trying to capture that moment on canvas of when he had introduced her to a unicorn when they were outside The Burrow.

As Petunia headed upstairs to continue to work on her painting, Arnica suddenly sprawled out a large map of The Netherlands on the table. 'Good,' she said, 'now that Petunia is upstairs, we can finally figure out a surprise for her.'

'Are we planning on seeing more than just Amsterdam?' asked Severus as he looked down at the map.

'Tuney really wants to see Van Gogh's work,' said Lily. 'Problem is that the largest collection of Van Gogh isn't in Amsterdam, but in some national park further East into the country.'

With a finger Lily traced a line from Amsterdam until she found a small town called Otterlo. 'It's supposed to be near here,' she said. 'De Hoge Veluwe, if that's how you pronounce it. We got to figure out a way to get there and have it be a surprise for her.'

'Any train stations?' asked Severus.

'I know of at least one in Arnhem,' said Erwin as he pointed at a city South from Otterlo. 'Had a few friends who were sent there during the war. We could go there and hope we can find a bus or a cab that could take us up North.'

'Sounds like a plan to me,' said Severus. 'Any other places we're going?'

'Definitely the Rijksmuseum,' said Lily, 'but that's in Amsterdam anyway. Haven't really got any plans other than that.'

Severus glanced over the map of a country he had never been to. 'Are we still going to fly there?' he asked.

'Yes,' said Arnica, and the moment she looked Severus in the eye she understood where the question was coming from. 'Do you think it may be a problem for you?'

'I'll suck it up,' said Severus, but the thought of soaring through the sky in a large metal tube invented by Muggles still made him feel uneasy. 'Lily, do you want to go upstairs and make some music?'

'Sure,' said Lily, who seemed to catch on about what Severus was actually asking for, and grabbed the Daily Prophet from the table.

Together they made their way up to Severus's room, and both sat down on the bed. 'Looks like you're getting famous,' said Lily as she gently whacked him with the newspaper.

'Not the kind of fame I was hoping for,' said Severus. 'Is there anything else to the article?'

Lily checked the front page and skimmed through it. 'Just something brief about the breeding process and what to pay attention to,' she said. 'And contact information to some department of the Ministry in case anyone sees more of these things occur.'

Severus's mind started rattling. 'Interesting,' he mumbled.

'What's interesting?' asked Lily.

'If the Ministry hands out contact information in case of any more sightings,' said Severus, 'it probably means they expect more to happen.'

'It could also just be a safety measure though,' said Lily as she tossed the paper aside.

'I would bet my Triumph that the Ministry is behind this,' said Severus. 'Minister Minchum loves Dementors but doesn't want to talk. They hand out contact information as if they expect more to happen, and they love abusing my name to get it on the front page.'

'Don't just jump to conclusions, Sev,' said Lily. 'I think your prejudice against the Ministry may have clouded your opinion, and besides, it's not as if Great Britain is the only country that has Dementors. For all we know they came from abroad.'

Severus leaned his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands. 'This is frustrating,' he said. 'First my family drama. Then the wolfsbane potion and the Order of Merlin, and now this.'

'How about we go make some music instead,' Lily suggested. 'Maybe it'll put you in a better mood.'

'All I want is a _normal_ life,' said Severus bitterly, ignoring Lily's suggestion. 'Why is that too much to ask for?'

'Define "normal" for me, please,' said Lily softly as she wrapped an arm around him.

Severus shrugged. 'I don't know,' he snarled. 'I don't know what that is.'

Lily planted a soft kiss on his cheek, and cupped his face in her hands so their eyes would meet. 'Sev,' she said clearly, 'there's one thing you need to learn to understand about yourself.'

'And what would that be?' asked Severus.

A faint smile appeared on Lily's lips. 'That you will never have something of a normal life, because it is already extraordinary,' she said, 'and I feel honoured that I get to be part in all of it.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I live in Arnhem. It's famous for military Operation Market (airborne) Garden (ground forces) in September 1944. It was a large Allied military operation, mostly to prevent the Germans from capturing bridges (which Arnhem has plenty of.) Another notable fact is that Audrey Hepburn lived in Arnhem during the war, and did a lot of underground illegal performances (ballet) to raise funding for the alliance.


	154. Down by the Riverbank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N SMUT!

Over the course of the next couple of days, Severus tried to find as many things to do as possible to distract himself. He finished off a big chunk of the homework he had been assigned to do over the summer, distracted himself by making music with Lily, and rode his motorbike around town just to have an excuse to get out of the house.

A letter from Remus had arrived as well, baring the confirmation of when and where everyone would meet up in Diagon Alley, but also a personal message expressing his concern about the article he had read on the cover of the Daily Prophet.

Remus advised Severus to think about whether he should visit Diagon Alley or not, considering the fact that there were bound to be prying eyes if he set foot inside the wizarding world. Remus had a point there, but the memory of seeing all his books being burned to ashes inside the lab made him remember that there was more to the visit than seeing the group of friends.

Petunia, who had been working hard on her portfolio over the past couple of days, decided to drag some of her collections downstairs and show the whole family what she had in store. The painting she had been working on with the ink Severus had made for her was finished too. It depicted a unicorn being half obscured through darkened trees, and the whole image had an eerie sort of beauty to it.

'I love it Tuney,' said Lily admirably. 'Is this the whole collection you want to show for your college application?'

'It is,' said Petunia proudly. 'If this doesn't get me into the art programs, I don't know what else will.'

'Just out of curiosity,' said Arnica, 'but don't you think that painting of the unicorn is going to raise some questions?'

Petunia looked at Severus and put up a grin. 'That's exactly what I'm hoping for,' she said. 'It's not as if anyone is going to believe I painted with something that is actually magical.'

'That sounds a little bit like cheating, doesn't it?' said Severus as he mimicked Petunia's grin.

'It does,' said Petunia, 'and I don't feel guilty about that whatsoever.'

'What do you think, Lily?' said Severus. 'Would Petunia be sorted into Ravenclaw or Slytherin had she gone to Hogwarts?'

'Good question,' said Lily thoughtfully. 'Definitely got that Ravenclaw drive to achieve, also got that Slytherin cunning in order to achieve it. What about Hufflepuff though? She likes gardening...'

'Since when does enjoying sticking your fingers in the dirt equate being a Hufflepuff?' said Severus.

'Why not your own house Lily?' asked Erwin. 'What's wrong with that?'

'The problem with Gryffindor is that it's more of a cult than a house,' said Severus. 'Not the kind of place Petunia would fit in.'

Lily shot Severus an angry glare. 'If we go by that logic,' she said sharply, 'then Slytherin is the house of incest.'

'I'm not going to deny that,' said Severus. 'You are my girlfriend _and_ my foster sister after all.'

Petunia rolled her eyes at the conversation that was unfolding in front of her. 'Could you two take your discussions on your crazy school elsewhere, please?'

'You're a tough one Petunia,' said Severus as he ignored Petunia's remark. 'I wouldn't be surprised if you were a hatstall, or at least a near one.'

'I'm just going to nod and pretend I understood a single thing if what you two just talked about,' said Petunia.

'I'm still leaning towards Ravenclaw,' said Lily, 'but then again, I'm not a sorting hat.'

'I prefer the white sheets of paper that are going to get me into a top university, thank you very much,' said Petunia with her arms crossed.

'How about you two go outside for a while?' said Arnica, and by her tone of voice it was clear she didn't mean it to be a question.

'Alright,' said Lily as she jumped up. 'Come on, Sev. Let's go for a walk.'

Severus obeyed and followed Lily outside. 'I got a feeling you're a bit frustrated,' he said as he rushed after her.

'I'm so bored,' Lily whined as she headed off in no particular direction. 'I can't believe I'm actually saving up homework so I can have something to do for the rest of the summer.'

Severus had to agree. Although they still had plenty of things planned ahead, being stuck in Cokeworth was a mind-numbing experience. 'I got an idea,' he said with a sly smile. 'Want to go to the riverbank?'

'We'd have to pass Spinner's End if we want to get there though,' said Lily, and kicked a pebble out of sheer frustration. 'We could just go to the playground and sit around for a while.'

'There are probably children there,' said Severus. 'I was thinking we could go somewhere a little bit more private.'

'That basically leaves us with the riverbank,' said Lily. 'Are you sure you want to walk by your old house?'

'I don't mind,' said Severus. 'I got something we could do.'

'What would that be?' asked Lily.

Severus pulled out a small package from inside his pocket. 'We didn't really have the chance when we were at Dartmoor,' he said. 'Why not now?'

'Frank's weed,' mumbled Lily as she looked at the package. 'But what if mum and dad find out?'

'They won't if we stay out for a while,' said Severus casually. 'Aside from that, it's a good thing we do our own laundry.'

Lily's eyes shifted from the package to Severus's gaze. 'Alright,' she said with a nod of approval. 'Got any snacks with you?'

'There's the Gryffindor in you I was searching for,' said Severus proudly, and fumbled around inside his other pocket. 'Managed to nick a pack of almond biscuits,' he said as she held up the pack of biscuits. 'No cigarettes through.'

They passed the playground, and as Severus had predicted, it was occupied by children. As he saw the swings from the corner of his eye, he was reminded of the last time he had been there with Dumbledore. Lily had stopped dead in her tracks and looked at the playground with fascination. 'It looks a lot smaller, doesn't it?' she said.

'It does,' said Severus, and looked at a cluster of bushes that had grown significantly over the past few years. 'That's where I used to spy on you.'

'I remember that,' said Lily with a smile. 'You little creep.'

'I couldn't help it,' said Severus. 'All I saw was a very pretty girl quite literally flying off a swing.'

Lily's eyes followed the swing's movement as it rose higher and higher up in the air. 'I haven't been able to fly like that in a long time,' she said quietly.

'Want to give it a try?' asked Severus.

Lily let out a snort. 'I'm pretty sure those kids won't be too happy if I kick them off the swing,' she said. 'Let's just go to the riverbank, shall we?'

Lily grabbed Severus by the hand as they continued to walk towards the dodgier part of the city. Subconsciously, Severus held on to Lily's hand a little tighter as they reached Spinner's End. 'Are you absolutely sure you don't mind being here, Sev?' she asked.

I'm torn about it,' Severus admitted, and looked at the rows upon rows of similar looking houses with an air of disgust. 'But still, I was born here, too.'

They passed several more houses until they reached an alley that led to the riverside. Hidden through a maze of trees and several bushes, their usual spot along the riverbank appeared.

Severus hadn't thought much of the place since his return to life, but just like looking at the playground brought back the memory of Lily flying off the swings, the memory of meeting professor Slughorn here in limbo suddenly came back to him.

The place wasn't pretty. Bits and pieces of trash were lying scattered across the bank. The factory across the river was forming black clouds in the sky, and only the green grass and the summer sun made the place look slightly more inviting. And yet, there was a certain serenity to the seclusion that the place offered.

'We should've done this ages ago!' said Lily happily as she lay down on the grass.

Severus lay down on his back beside her, and shoved one arm underneath her neck for her to use as a pillow. 'Still want that weed?' he asked.

'I do,' said Lily. 'I'll light it up for us.'

With one hand Severus pulled out the package Frank had given him and handed it to Lily, who gladly took it, pulled the joint from the pack and lit it with a snap of her fingers.

'Makes me wonder how Frank can get away with growing this stuff at school,' said Lily after she passed it on to Severus.

'Good question,' said Severus as he felt his lungs fill with sharp tasting smoke.

Lily shuffled herself a little closer against Severus, and started running her fingers through his hair. 'You think it's possible to swim to the other side of the river?' she asked as if she meant it to be a challenge.

'Good question,' repeated Severus. 'But I'm sure the current is too strong to pass.'

'You make it sounds like you've tried it before,' said Lily. 'Have you?'

'Oh yes,' said Severus casually. 'First attempt was the last one too, as I sunk straight to the bottom like a rock and drowned.'

'Sounds awful,' said Lily in a very serious manner. 'Did it hurt?'

Severus blew smoke from his lungs one last time before he passed the joint back to Lily. 'I expected it to be worse,' he said thoughtfully.

Lily turned to her side and wrapped one leg over his waist. 'When did this happen?' she asked.

'I don't remember,' said Severus as he kept staring off into the distance, and felt that the weed had really kicked in by now.

'Something's weighing on your mind,' said Lily as she buried her face in the nape of his neck.

'Pip,' said Severus. 'I haven't thought about him in a long time.'

'What happened to poor little Pip again?' asked Lily as she started planting kisses all over his face.

'My father broke his bowl,' said Severus bitterly, and continued to stare at the factory clouds that were drifting overhead. 'But it's alright. He's in good hands now.'

Lily looked up at the clouds as if she expected to find the answer to his riddle there. 'What do you mean?' she asked dreamily.

'It means he's being taken care of,' said Severus. 'Please don't stop with whatever you were doing, miss I-feel-frisky-when-I'm-high.'

Lily let out a giggle and continued to kiss him along his jawline. Severus finished off the joint, made sure it was no longer smouldering, and flicked it away.

A cold hand, or perhaps it felt colder in his mind, started to make its way up underneath his shirt, and goosebumps formed on the surface of his skin.

'Touch me,' whispered Lily into his ear, causing the hairs in the back of his neck to stand up straight.

'Want me to touch you?' asked Severus as he took a hold of her hand, and gently pushed her on her back.

Severus freed his arm and with a graceful swing of his leg he sat down on top of her. 'Want me to touch you here?' he asked as he poked her belly with a finger. 'Or here?' he asked as he squeezed the inside of her thigh. 'Or...'

Before Severus was able to tease another spot, Lily bit her lip and pulled him closer by fisting his shirt. 'What do you want me to do?' he asked as he hovered an inch from her face.

'Please me,' she said, and Severus could sense the determination in her.

'And I thought I was selfish,' said Severus, and softly kissed the side of her mouth.

Lily closed her eyes to give in to the sensation, and Severus could sense something inside of him that was desperate to taste more of her. With one hand he kept her arms pinned above her head, and with the other he slowly lifted her t-shirt until he could see her lacy bra.

Severus planted kisses from her collarbone all the way down to her belly button, causing Lily to arch her back, and let out a soft moan. 'I got an idea,' he said as his eyes fixated on her trousers.

'Do what you want with me,' said Lily, and the soft pleading in the sound of her voice caused Severus's head to spin.

Very slowly, Severus held up one of her legs and untied one shoe, did the same to the other, and tossed both her shoes aside. 'I'm going to take off your trousers,' he said.

After what seemed like a long struggle to undo Lily of her tight jeans, a pair of matching knickers revealed itself as he tossed her jeans over her shoes.

As he sat on his knees in front of her, Severus took a moment to look at the woman who was lying in front of him. He rested his hands on her knees and couldn't help but smile as he saw just how much she was enjoying herself.

He let his fingers glide between the insides of her thighs, causing Lily to let out a soft moan. 'That's sensitive,' she squeaked.

Severus leaned in closer so his eyes came close to her belly button. With a few fingers he took a hold of her knickers, and by the shaking of his hands he realised that he was nervous. Very slowly he started to pull down her knickers, until a sudden wave of laughter started to roll out of his mouth.

'Something wrong?' asked Lily, sounding panicked by Severus's sudden fit of giggles.

'Just nervous,' said Severus with great difficulty, unable to stop himself from laughing so hard.

'And what is really going on?' asked Lily.

'It's just,' said Severus between breaths, 'it's just—the carpet matches the drapes.'

Lily's mouth fell open as if she could not believe what she was hearing. 'That is so mean!' she said, but even she could not stop herself from getting infected with Severus's laughter. 'That is, that's—well, what did you expect?'

Severus raised his hands in a I-really-don't-know kind of fashion.

'That is so mean!' Lily repeated as she playfully slapped Severus across his shoulder.

'It's not going to stop me,' said Severus in self-defence, and finally managed to stabilise his breath. 'I'm going to give it another attempt.'

Severus took a hold of her knickers, and this time he managed to pull it off entirely, revealing a view of something he had never seen before, and looked at it with a strange sort of admiration.

'Sev,' said Lily as she caught on. 'It's a vagina. Not a gaping hole of doom.'

'I'm not afraid of it,' said Severus stiffly, and very carefully he reached out with the tips of his fingers. 'Mind if I uhm—'

Severus had to admit there was a warmth to it he had not expected, and once Lily let out a moan much louder than he heard before, he knew it had made it to the right spot. 'There's something that I want to try,' he said, his eyes entirely fixated on what was happening in front of him.

'Feel free,' said Lily, who was obviously enjoying what he was doing to her.

Severus ran his fingers up her thighs and lowered his head, and started planting kisses right in the middle.

'Holy shit, Sev,' squealed Lily in delight, and looked up at what he was doing. 'Where did you learn to do that?'

Severus felt another wave of laughter rise up, and this time he tried to suppress it, causing a ridiculous sounding snort to escape from his nose. 'Remember how we were practising occlumency with the Young Order the first time?' he said as he looked up at Lily with a grin.

'Yes,' said Lily, and Severus couldn't help but notice how beautifully her eyes were glistering in the sunlight.

'Remember how I had to turn away from Frank because he was being disgusting?' asked Severus.

Lily's mouth fell open again, as if she already expected what the answer was going to be.

'Frank was doing _this,'_ said Severus as he pointed down between her legs, 'to Alice. I was highly disturbed, and I must admit, although I don't know why, also slightly aroused.'

It looked as if Lily was trying to laugh, but no sound came out of her mouth. 'Please continue,' she said, half laughing and half demanding it.

Severus did as he was told, and felt Lily's entire body relax again as he caressed her with his tongue.

'Looks like your big nose is good for something,' said Lily in between giggles.

'Oh, you witch!' said Severus, and narrowed his eyes. He shoved his hands underneath her buttocks and squeezed hard, causing Lily to shriek in delight. 'Now you're getting it.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Friendly reminded that in the 70s most women did in fact, not shave.


	155. Gathering of the Young Order in Diagon Alley I

By the time the effects of the joint had worn off, the sun had already started to set. There had been something very empowering about seeing Lily in a state of ecstasy, and although hungry for more, Severus did not pursue. The remainder of their time by the riverbank had been diminished to conversations related to school, the future, expressing their concerns about Vernon, and gentle caressing, all while nibbling on the biscuits Severus had snatched on their way out of the house.

By the time they had gotten home, they were in luck that Arnica's main concern was about how to get the grass stains off their clothes rather than what they had been doing all day, and were able to wash their clothes to rid it from the stench of weed before it could raise suspicion.

Several more days passed, and before they knew it, Severus and Lily were packing their bags for their trip to Diagon Alley. With two empty bags for the books they needed to buy for their sixth year, along with Erwin's old leather jacket, they hit the road to London.

Severus had to admit that riding a motorbike through the centre of a very busy city was rather freighting, and felt relieved by the time they had reached Charing Cross Road and were able to walk again.

'Think it's safe for me to leave my bike out here?' asked Severus as they stood in front of the Leaky Cauldron.

'Doubt it,' said Lily. 'I'll go inside and ask the barman if he knows a safe place.'

Lily went inside and came back a moment later baring the good news. 'Tom said you can just drag it inside and leave it in the courtyard,' she said. 'Warning you though. James and Sirius are in here too.'

With a sigh, Severus pulled the Triumph over the threshold, and entered the familiar smokey inn.

Several faces looked up, mostly likely due to the fact that a Muggle form of transportation was being dragged inside. Sirius and Potter, who had been talking to the barman, turned around as well.

'Woah!' said Sirius, his eyes growing wide at the mere sight of the motorbike. 'Is it yours, Severus?'

Severus saw the jealousy form on Sirius's face, and couldn't help but grin at the sight of it. 'Yes,' he said proudly. 'All mine. Want to take a closer look in the courtyard?'

'Is that one of those motor things you keep talking about?' asked Potter, and looked rather undecided on what to make out of it.

'Bless my soul,' said Tom the barman suddenly, 'Severus Snape, isn't it?'

'Uhm yes,' said Severus, unsure why he was suddenly being addressed like that.

'Everyone!' said Tom loudly, 'it's the boy who received the Order of Merlin. I keep seeing your name appear in the newspapers.'

All the eyes in the pub turned away from his bike and looked to his face, Severus wasn't sure whether he wanted time to freeze or simply sink through the floor. 'It happens,' he said softly.

'Please have a drink on me,' said Tom happily, 'and for your friends here too.'

'Thank you but, no thanks,' said Severus, growing more uncomfortable by the second, 'we've got a few friends out there waiting for us.'

'Oh don't be a killjoy, Snape,' said Potter. 'I'd love a drink Tom.'

A burning desire to shove a bottle of butterbeer up Potter's nose was tingling though Severus's hands, but from the corner of his eye he saw Lily give him a nod as if to say it'll be alright, and decided to give in. 'Going to take my bike outside first,' he said. 'I'll be back.'

Severus parked his bike right in front of the dustbin inside the small courtyard that led to Diagon Alley. For a moment he was tempted pull out his wand and run his way through the gate, but leaving Lily behind wouldn't be a proper thing to do, and so, reluctantly, he made his way back inside the inn.

Not only did Severus immediately get a drink shoved into his hands, several of the onlookers had stood up to come up to him and shake his hand. 'Doris Crockford,' said a middle-aged looking lady who had run up to him first. 'I'm very pleased to meet you, mister Snape.'

'Thanks, I suppose,' mumbled Severus under his breath, unsure what to make out of the whole situation. The next one to shake his hand was a short man who introduced himself as Dedalus Diggle, and a few more of which Severus didn't bother remembering the names of, until suddenly a man appeared in front of him that caused his heart to skip a beat. 'Quirrell,' he mumbled, a little too quickly before he realised that Quirrell wouldn't know who he was.

A wide smile appeared on Quirrell's face. 'I'm sorry, have we met before?' he asked.

'Perhaps,' said Severus in an attempt to save himself, 'though I don't remember what from.'

'Me neither but that's quite alright,' said Quirrell. 'You'll probably be seeing more of me by the start of the new school year. I'm going to be teaching Muggle Studies.'

Severus had to think back to his first life, but did not recall Quirrell becoming a teacher when he was still a student. Then again, if Quirrell was indeed the Muggle Studies teacher by this time, he probably hadn't cared to know about it.

'You heard that Potter, Black,' said Severus as he turned to the two men at the bar, 'we're getting a new Muggle Studies teacher this year.'

'Are you trying to imply something?' asked Potter.

'Just saying that knowing a bit more about the Muggle way of life might do you good,' said Severus. 'It's good to meet you, professor.'

'Good to meet you too, mister Snape,' said Quirrell, looking proud at being referred to as "professor". 'I better get going. Have a good day.'

As Quirrell left, Severus made sure no one else wanted to shake hands with him, and joined Lily, Sirius and Potter at the bar. It was a bizarre experience to suddenly see Quirrell again. Especially without the stuttering, turban, and with a full head of hair, and most importantly, no Dark Lord sticking out from the back of his head.

'So a new teacher eh,' said Lily. 'I was almost expecting him to be the next Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, considering the fact that we've had a few already.'

'Who knows,' said Severus, 'maybe we'll get a new one for that too.' Severus knew better, of course, knowing that the position for teaching Defense Against the Dart Arts was cursed.

'So, how have you two been doing?' asked Potter, more aiming the question at Lily than at Severus.

'We're good,' said Lily, and Severus could feel her resting her hand on his knee. 'Went to visit the Weasleys a few weeks back. They're expecting their third child by the end of August. Molly looks like she's about to pop already.'

'Good for them,' said Potter with a nod. 'They live near Dartmoor, don't they?'

Severus was afraid this was going to happen. 'Yes Potter,' he said dryly. 'They do.'

'So what exactly happened out there on Dartmoor?' asked Potter boldly. 'Moony doesn't want to talk about it, for whatever reason.'

Lily looked at Potter with a tilted eye. 'Probably because you invited him to a gig he couldn't attend,' she said.

'True,' said Potter, 'that wasn't very subtle of us. But still, if it wasn't for Moony's transformations, who knows what would've happened to you.'

'I'd prefer not to think about that,' said Severus, growing annoyed with the conversation already. 'Remus saved our lives. That's what matters most.'

Sirius seemed to understand what was going on and decided to change the conversation. 'Say Severus,' he said as he nearly downed his entire drink in one gulp, 'can I still take a look at the motorbike of yours?'

'Will do,' said Severus. 'We better get going anyway. It's almost noon already.'

All four of them thanked Tom the barman for the drinks, and made their way inside the small courtyard.

'So, what exactly is that thing?' asked Potter as he looked at the Triumph.

'It's a called a motorbike,' said Severus. 'Also, I wasn't joking when I said Muggle Studies might be a subject you should sign up for.'

'I'll think about it,' said Potter. 'From what I understand, this is something you ride on the road with.'

'Yes indeed, Potter,' said Severus. 'Sirius, do you want to sit on it?'

Sirius looked up as if he had just been handed a free bone at the pet shop. 'I'd love it,' he said with delight, and quickly swung one leg over the motorbike. 'It's a Triumph too. I've always wanted one of these.'

'I got this one second hand for about five hundred pounds,' said Severus. 'Shouldn't be too difficult to save up for.'

'It's gorgeous,' said Sirius, touching the handlebars with the uttermost care as if he were afraid the engine might suddenly start to roar. 'Will you ride it to Hogwarts this summer?'

'Doubt it,' said Severus. 'I'd love to, but I don't think that's a smart idea since we have a lot of stuff to bring with us.'

'You could get one of those sidecars,' said Sirius. 'You could just put your trunks in there.'

'Good point,' said Severus. 'Probably won't be able to afford one for a while though. That's something to think about for next Christmas break.'

Sirius looked at Severus that reminded him of a begging puppy. 'Any chance I could try and ride this thing?' he asked.

'Into Diagon Alley? I don't think so,' said Severus. 'That would raise far too much attention.'

Sirius let out a sigh. 'That is true,' he said. 'Still, I can't believe I'm actually sitting on a bike. It's so beautiful...'

'I think it's time for us to go,' said Potter, not quite understanding Sirius's fascination with the Muggle machine. 'Frank is probably waiting for us by now.'

Lily had already taken out her wand, and tapped on the proper bricks to form the archway that led to Diagon Alley. 'Right this way,' she said as the took the lead.

Sirius stepped off the motorbike, and with one last look behind him, the bike disappeared as the archway closed itself off again. 'The Longbottoms own a clothing shop, don't they?' he said.

'That's where we're meeting,' said Lily. 'If I remember correctly it's a little further down here...'

After a minute or two, a rather eccentric looking shop appeared in front of them, baring the Longbottom name on a sign above the door. 'We made it!' said Lily happily, and swung the door open.

On the inside, the colours green and purple dominated the shop, as did the heavy, dark wooden furniture it was decorated with. Rows upon rows of robes were hanging on display, and standing out more than anything else, was an ugly, and very much alive, vulture that was resting on its perch near the counter. Strange as it was, to Severus there was something very familiar about this place...

Frank, along with Alice, Evan, Emma, and a lady who had to be Frank's mother, were sitting at the table that was positioned in the centre of the shop.

'You all made it!' said Frank happily, and from the corner of his eye Severus saw Lily already wrapping her arms around Alice.

'It's so good to meet you all,' said Augusta as she stood up to shake everyone's hand. 'Are you expecting any more friends, Frank?'

'There should be,' said Frank. 'Everyone, this is my mother Augusta. Mum, this is Lily, Sirius, James, and Severus.'

'I've heard a lot about you,' said Augusta ones she stood in front of Severus to shake his hand. 'It's good to see you in person.'

'Thanks,' said Severus, feeling just as speechless as he had when he was forced to shake hands with everyone inside the Leaky Cauldron.

'Does anyone want tea?' asked Augusta, gleaming at the sight of all the people inside her shop. 'Biscuits? I'm so glad you're all here.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N For those of you who don't know, weed smells like a dead skunk. If you don't know what a dead skunk smells like, it smells like weed. If you don't know about either, bless your nose.
> 
> A/N Quirrell used to be the Muggle studies teacher until he went travelling and came back with Voldemort sticking out from the back of his head.


	156. Gathering of the Young Order in Diagon Alley II

'How have you been doing?' asked Severus as he and Evan managed to get some privacy.

'Better than ever,' said Evan with a smile. 'I mean, I've only been living here for a few weeks, but it already feels like home to me. Honestly, Augusta is on the stricter side, but she looks after me like I'm one of her own.'

'I'm glad to hear that,' said Severus genuinely. 'How about you and Emma?'

'We're good,' said Evan. 'First time we've seen each other since the start of summer though. She lives in a whole different part of the country. How about you and Lily, eh?'

By the tone of Evan's voice, Severus knew that he was asking about more than just the general state of their relationship. 'What is it you're implying?' he asked.

Evan walked up to a more private part of the shop, and wrapped an arm around Severus's neck. 'Oh come on,' he whispered. 'Have you and Lily, you know, had sex yet?'

Severus shook his head. 'No, we haven't,' he mumbled under his breath.

Evan shook Severus a look as if he could not believe what he was hearing. 'Nothing?' he said. 'You mean to tell me that you two have done absolutely nothing?'

Severus held up two fingers in the shape of a "V" in front of his mouth and stuck his tongue out. 'There. Happy now?'

Evan's mouth fell wide open. 'Severus,' he said with a pat against his shoulder, 'you are a god amongst men.'

'Then perhaps you should try it on Emma someday,' said Severus. 'Trust me, she will love it.'

'Alright,' said Evan, bobbing his head along in approval. 'Probably won't be able to until we head back to school again, but I'll keep it in mind.'

'Spare me the details,' said Severus, and looked through the window of the shop. 'I think I see more of the Young Order arriving.'

Peter and Remus, along with Regulus and Mary, had arrived indeed, making the whole group complete.

The shop was packed with everyone inside, and several more chairs had to be conjured for everyone to fit around the table. 'So, what has everyone been up to?' asked Frank once everyone was seated.

'I'm pretty sure we all want to hear what happened on Dartmoor first,' said Regulus, and all eyes of the group turned to Severus. 'Seriously, what happened out there?'

Severus felt like banging his head against the table. The last thing he wanted to deal with today is recalling the happenings on Dartmoor over and over again.

'I'll tell you what happened,' said Remus, catching on with Severus's frustration. 'These two went out camping. A thick fog rose up. Turns out tons of dementors were breeding. Then for some _mysterious_ reason they all disappeared again, and along the line I found them out there unconscious. It's a good thing I live nearby.'

'And that's it,' added Severus stiffly. 'Sorry, but this is something that I prefer not to talk about.'

'Kind of hard not to, now that people are starting to recognise you on the streets,' said Mary. 'I mean, I've heard your name being dropped several times over the past few weeks alone.'

Severus steadily looked down at the table. 'I can only hope it'll pass,' he mumbled. 'I didn't ask for any of this.'

A silence that cut like a knife fell over the group. 'You know what,' said Augusta, 'I'm going to make some lunch for everyone.'

'Need some help with that, mother?' asked Frank.

'No dear,' said Augusta as she planted a kiss on Frank's forehead. 'You keep entertaining your guests.'

As Augusta made her way to the backside of the shop, Frank spoke up. 'I can almost do a Patronus charm,' he said to break the ice. 'If I get it down by the end of the summer, I could teach you all how to do it for our next meeting.'

'That would be brilliant,' said Peter. 'Is it really true that dementors are going to stand guard around Hogwarts next school year?'

'I'm afraid so,' said Severus as he ran his hands through his hair out of sheer frustration. 'There really isn't much that Dumbledore can do about it.'

The conversations amongst the group quickly shifted between what everyone had been doing since the start of summer, things they were expecting for their sixth year at school, and their homework progression, all while nibbling on the sandwiches Augusta had prepared for them.

From the corner of his eye, Severus noticed an item hanging on the racks against the all that looked oddly familiar. Excusing himself from the table, walked up to the rack, and pulled out a pair of plain black robes.

He held it up in front of him. They were indeed the exact same robes he used to wear in his adult years. Perhaps that's why the shop looked so familiar in the first place. This was probably the place where he had bought them after graduation...

'What you got there, Sev?' asked Lily from across the room.

Severus turned around and held the pair of black robes in front of him. 'What do you think?' he asked.

'You look like a strict school teacher,' said Regulus bluntly. 'Suits you though.'

'Nah,' said Emma, still chewing on a piece of bread. 'More like Ozzy Osbourne.'

Nearly everyone at the table started laughing, including Lily. 'That's what my sister called him as well,' she said. 'You should try it on, Sev.'

Severus rolled his eyes. 'Not so sure if I want to anymore now,' he said.

'Oh come on,' said Lily. 'Just give it a try.'

There was something very strange about holding the robes he had worn for years and years in his hands, as if it somehow was meant to find its way back to him again. 'Alright,' he said eventually. 'I'll give it a try.'

Augusta waved with her hand to show him to the back of the store, and Severus followed, snatching Lily's backpack along the way. 'Let them laugh,' she said as she closed the door behind her. 'I think it makes you look impressive.'

'Compensation for not being tall I suppose,' said Severus, holding up the robes against him again as he looked in a mirror. 'How has Evan been doing since he came here?'

'Have you not asked him yet?' asked Augusta as she took the robes from his hands.

'I have,' said Severus, 'but I find it hard to believe that he's doing as okay as he says he is.'

'It's an on and off thing with him,' said Augusta, and Severus noticed that a flying tape measure had started taking up his measurements. 'He's a very grateful boy. Always helpful, but I can tell he misses his parents, and his girlfriend too. I think going back to school will do him a lot more good than working here. Try them on, will you?'

Augusta had given the robes back to Severus after she had made some quick modifications. He pulled them over his head. As odd as it was to so himself standing in front of the mirror wearing his old robes again, he couldn't help but grin a little at the sight of it.

'Looks a little too tight around the middle,' said Augusta observingly. 'Do you like it?'

'It suits me,' said Severus. 'Very...mature.'

'It does make you look more like a grown man,' said Augusta with a nod of approval. 'Take it off, please. I've got to make some alterations.'

Severus took off the robes again and handed it back to her. 'Thank you for doing this,' he mumbled.

'No, it's you who I should thank,' said Augusta as she went to work.

'Why is that?' asked Severus.

'Frank speaks very highly of you,' said Augusta. 'He told me you were the one who came up with forming the Young Order group.'

'That is true,' said Severus, although strictly speaking the idea had not come from him, 'but I figured Frank makes a much better leader than I.'

'Frank really found himself in that group,' said Augusta. 'Can't speak of anything else since he came home, really. Him and Evan have been researching for things to practise the moment they set foot over the threshold.'

'If it wasn't for him wanting to be an Auror, I think he'd make a great teacher,' said Severus.

Augusta handed Severus the robes to try on again, and this time they fitted much better. 'I suppose he would,' she said. 'Does it fit?'

'Perfectly,' said Severus. 'Thank you. I actually brought something with me that I would like to get fixed if that's possible.'

'Of course, dear,' said Augusta. 'What did you bring?'

Severus pulled out the worn leather jacket from Lily's backpack. 'It used to belong to Lily's father,' he said. 'He no longer wants it, so I wanted to see if I could get it fixed.'

Augusta took the leather jacket from his hands and took a good look at it. 'Leather's always tricky,' she mumbled. 'Need me to resize it too?'

'It's not for me,' said Severus. 'Lily actually wanted to give it to Sirius as a gift.'

'I'll fix it up for you,' said Augusta. 'You should show your girlfriend what you look like with those robes on.'

Not wanting to disobey Augusta's order, Severus walked back to the frontside of the shop, and found everyone circling around the vulture that was now perched on top of Frank's shoulder.

'Woah,' said Evan as his eyes ran up and down Severus's body, 'I didn't know bats came in those sizes.'

'Very funny,' said Severus flatly as the rest of the group howled with laughter.

'Are you absolutely sure you're not a vampire?' asked Potter, looking sceptically at the new robes Severus was wearing.

'I'm absolutely sure I didn't ask for your opinion, Potter,' Severus sneered back. 'I do, however, would like to know what Lily thinks.'

'I think you look very sophisticated on you, Sev,' said Lily, and traced some of the buttons with her finger. 'And I like the white cuffs.'

'Yeah all jokes aside mate,' said Evan. 'It does suit you.'

'Thanks,' mumbled Severus under his breath, and his attention shifted to the vulture that was resting on Frank's shoulder. 'Does the bird have a name?'

'Trevor,' said Frank proudly, and petted the bird with an awkward angle in his arm. 'He's mum's precious. I'm not even sure if she loves him more than me.'

The vulture eyed Severus with suspicion, and Severus couldn't help but look at the bird with a tilted eye in return, knowing that, someday, the bird was going to be turned into a hat. 'Lily,' said Severus as he tore his eyes away from the bird, 'I gave the thing you brought with to Augusta. She can fix it.'

'I figured you had,' said Lily, and leaned in a little closer so only Severus could hear her speak. 'By the way, I do think you look great in these robes.'

'In that case I'll buy it,' whispered Severus back.

'Good,' mumbled Lily under her breath. 'Then you can watch me struggle as I try to undo all those buttons.'

Severus wrapped an arm around Lily, pulled her in closer, and planted a wet kiss on her cheek. 'You're a very dirty lady, you know that?' he whispered into her ear.

'Could you two love birds, like, not do that in public?' asked a very grouchy looking Potter.

'Jealous, are we?' asked Severus, feeling elated at seeing Potter's jealous face.

'Are you alright, Peter?' asked Remus. 'You seem a little white...'

Peter's eyes were fixated on the shop's window, and shook his head. 'Something's coming,' he whimpered.

A shadow started to form from the outside and seeped through the window of the shop, leaving the shop to be suddenly clad in darkness.

'Oh no,' Alice cried as she squinted her eyes. 'Is that what I think it is?'

'It is!' squeaked Lily nervously, and quickly hurried her way towards the door. The moment she opened the door, a large parliament of owls flew inside the shop and landed on the centre table, leaving ruffled feathers everywhere they went. 'Our O.W.L. results came in!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I firmly believe that if Molly Weasley can be a full-time housewife and a total badass, than Augusta Longbottom can run a clothing shop and be a total badass too. :)
> 
> A/N It was Alan Rickman's original idea to add the white cuffs to the robes they made for him in the movies.
> 
> A/N For those of you who don't know. Ozzy Osbourne, lead singer of Black Sabbath, is (in)famous for biting of the head of an actual bat during a show in 1982. Whether it was a real bat however, is unknown till this day.
> 
> A/N A group of owls is officially called a 'parliament.'


	157. Gathering of the Young Order in Diagon Alley III

Within a matter of seconds, everyone had managed to find the letter that was addressed to them. The owls flew off, and a silence, aside from the ripping of envelopes, fell over the shop that had previously not existed.

Although Severus wasn't feeling remotely as jittery as the rest of the group was about receiving his exam results, there was still something exciting about opening up the letter again.

_Ordinary Wizarding Level Results_

_Pass grades:  
Outstanding (O)  
Exceeds Expectations (E)  
Acceptable (A)_

_Fail grades:  
Poor (P)  
_ _Dreadful (D)  
_ _Troll (T)_

_Severus Snape has achieved:_

_Ancient Runes: O  
Astronomy: O  
Care of Magical Creatures: E  
Charms: O  
Defense Against the Dark Arts: O  
Herbology: O  
History of Magic: O  
Music: O  
Potions: O (Order of Merlin, Second Class)  
Transfiguration: O_

The little "E" behind Care of Magical Creatures was sticking out painfully amongst the sea of "Os". Before Severus was able to say anything however, Lily had already snatched the exam results from his hands.

'Did anyone fail their History of Magic exam too?' asked Potter.

The majority of the group stuck their hands up in the air, including Lily. 'It's the only "P" I got,' she said, and by the smile on her face Severus could tell the rest of her results had to be more positive.

'I passed everything else too!' said Potter proudly. 'What about you Peter?'

'Passed nearly everything,' mumbled Peter, still staring at this result sheet. 'Best thing though, Severus, I got an "A" for my potions exam!'

'I passed Potions as well!' Emma squeaked in delight. 'What about you Severus? Did you still get it marked as an exception?'

'He got it marked as an "O",' said Lily, and before Severus was able to snatch his result sheet out of her hands, she had flipped it around for the group to see.

Everyone in the group stared at his sheet with their eyes wide open. 'Holy shit Severus,' mumbled Evan. 'You friggin' genius.'

Severus felt like sinking straight through the floor. 'Still got an "E" though—' he said in an attempt to save himself, but Lily cut him off.

'That "E" just proves you're actually still human, Sev,' said Lily, and handed his result sheet back to him.

'It sticks out like a sore thumb,' said Severus with a growl. 'I blame that atrocious drawing of a Porlock we had to make—'

'—With results like that you could become the next Minister of Magic or something,' said Regulus, oblivious to Severus's growing annoyance with the single "E" he had accumulated.

'Not exactly the kind of career I had in mind,' said Severus, cringing at the very thought of ever becoming a Minister. 'Can I take a look at yours, Lily?'

'If you will all excuse me,' said Frank as he stood up from the table, 'I passed my Charms with an "O" and I have to go rub it in my mother's face.'

Lily looked at Alice as Severus skimmed through her exam results. 'Why would he need to do that?' she asked.

'Augusta failed her Charms exam,' said Alice carefully, as if she half expected Augusta to come barging in and silence her. 'It's the reason she couldn't become an Auror.'

'Lily, you did great,' said Severus, feeling particularly proud at her perfect scores for Potions and Charms. 'You got mostly "Es" and some "Os" in nearly everything.'

'I got you to thank for some of these results though,' said Lily. 'And also, my results look a bit silly compared to yours.'

'Honestly,' said Severus, 'you really should not be comparing yourself to me.'

Lily looked as if she was ready to start an argument, but at the same time Augusta came barging into the shop from the backroom with Erwin's jacket draped over her arm. 'You all got your results today!' she said proudly. 'How did everyone do?'

Everyone but Severus put their down exam results on the table for Augusta to see. She handed the leather jacket to Severus, which looked as good as new after she had worked her magic on it, and started to congratulate everyone individually.

'How about you give it to Sirius?' said Lily just loud enough for only Severus to hear.

'Why me?' asked Severus. 'It was your idea to give it to him.'

'Consider it a peace offering or something,' said Lily. 'I got a feeling that if you give it to him you two can both bury the hatchet for good.'

Although making peace with Sirius wasn't exactly on his agenda, Severus had to admit that Lily was right. If he ever wanted to gain Sirius's full trust, offering him something he would love to have might just be the perfect start.

'Sirius,' said Severus. 'I got something for you.'

Sirius looked up in confusion, and frowned. 'For me?' he asked. 'Why would you have something for me?'

'It actually belonged to Lily's father,' said Severus, and held up the leather jacket for Sirius to see. 'It's too big for me, and I got a feeling it suits you much better anyway.'

Sirius looked at the jacket as if Christmas had come early. 'Is that a real biker's jacket?' he asked in a high pitched voice.

'It is,' said Severus. 'Want to try it on?'

Sirius immediately bounced away from his seat and jogged his way up to Severus. 'I can't believe it,' he said as he took the jacket from Severus's hands. 'An actual leather jacket. For me?'

'Come on, just try it on,' ordered Lily.

With a swift motion, Sirius threw on the leather jacket. 'It's perfect,' he said as he played around with the zipper.

'Looks good on you Padfoot,' said Remus.

Sirius was turning around in circles to check how the jacket fit on the back, and looked a lot like a puppy chasing its own tail. 'Thanks, Moony,' he said. 'Are you really sure you want to give it to me, Severus?'

'It's all yours, said Severus. 'It fits you perfectly.'

'Thank you,' said Sirius. 'I'd probably give you a hug if it wouldn't be so awkward to do.'

'Please don't,' said Severus. 'Glad you like it. I better take these robes off and pay for them.'

Severus made his way to the back of the shop again. Glad as he was that he had found his old robes, it was far too hot to be wearing them over his Muggle clothes in the summer weather.

Augusta wrapped the robes up in the matching cloak that came with it. 'How much do I owe you?' asked Severus as he fumbled around in his pocket for galleons, but Augusta waved it off. 'Use it to buy everyone some ice cream at Florean's for me,' she said. 'You all deserve it after getting such good grades.'

'Thanks,' said Severus, though he wasn't quite sure how to feel about not paying for anything. 'I will.'

'Did anyone else get their booklist with the letter?' asked Alice to the whole group.

Everyone nodded in order to say that they had. 'Got a permission slip too for that trip to the Isle of Skye,' said Peter.

'Severus is getting you all some ice cream,' said Augusta loud enough for everyone to hear. 'Maybe it's a good idea if you all went outside and had some fun.'

After everyone shared their gratitude and goodbyes with Augusta, the group made their way outside and headed straight for the ice cream parlour. Everyone picked out the ice cream they wanted, and pretty much occupied the entire terrace considering the number of people they were with.

Severus had just started to enjoy his coffee flavoured ice cream, when suddenly he noticed a familiar face on the street. 'Professor!' he called out. 'What brings you here?'

'Severus!' cried professor Slughorn back, and a wide smile appeared on his face. 'I was wondering if I was going to be seeing any students today.'

Professor Slughorn nicked a chair from a different stand, wobbled his way up to the group and sat down. 'Have you all received your results yet?' he asked.

'We did,' said James proudly. 'And I think we all did well, don't we?'

'Well I know you all passed your Potions exam,' said Slughorn proudly. 'Congratulations on that. Especially you, mister Pettigrew.'

'Thanks professor,' said Peter, looking as if he wasn't quite sure whether to take it as a compliment or not.

The smile on Slughorn's face suddenly fell as he turned to Severus, and lowered his voice. 'Is there any way we could talk in private for a moment?' he asked.

'If this is about Dartmoor professor, then I can assure you everything is under control,' said Severus. 'Aside from that, I should be meeting with professor Dumbledore very soon.'

'That is all good,' said Slughorn. 'I just want you to understand that that single "E" you got on your result sheet, yes, I am aware of your results Severus, is the reason your name didn't end up in the papers, _again_.'

'Why would they do that?' asked Severus with a frown.

'Because achieving perfect scores isn't something to take lightly,' said Slughorn. 'It is very rarely achieved, and when it happens, those students are usually placed in a spotlight. The kind of place, I think, you really don't want to be right now.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus, suddenly no longer feeling irritated by the grade. 'Any particular reason you are here, professor?'

'Oh just looking for new rare potion supplies mostly,' said Slughorn casually. 'First time I've had to do so without my wife...'

'Sorry to hear that, professor,' said Lily as she overheard the conversation. 'Would you like some ice cream too?'

Slughorn's expression went from somber to delightful within a matter of seconds. 'I'd love some,' he said.

'I'll get you some of that crystallised pineapple flavour they got,' said Lily. 'I'll be right back.'

'You really got yourself a wonderful girlfriend, Severus,' said Slughorn. 'Treasure that.'

'Always have, always will,' said Severus.

Lily came back a moment later with a large scoop of crystallised pineapple ice cream for Slughorn, and the conversations between them and the rest of the group were reduced to mostly which subjects they were going to pick for their sixth year, as they were now all officially NEWT students.

Slughorn eventually excused himself, thanked Lily for the ice cream and made his way to what Severus knew to be Knockturn Alley, and wondered if the rare ingredients Slughorn was after were also strictly legal.

After everyone had finished up their ice cream, they made their way towards Flourish & Blotts. The familiar scent that came with books filled their nostrils as they entered the shop, and quickly booklists were pulled out of pockets in search of what they needed.

Severus looked over his list.

Set Books  
 _All students should have a copy of each of the following:_

The Standard Book of Spells (grade 6) by _Miranda Goshawk_  
A guide to Advanced Transfiguration by _Emeric Switch_

Defensive Magical Theory by _Wilbert Slinkhard_  
Advanced Rune Translation by _Yuri Blishen_ (if elected)  
Advanced Potion Making by _Libatius Borage_ (if elected)  
A History of Magic by _Bathilda Bagshot_ (if elected)  
Flesh-Eating Trees of the World: Herbology (if elected)  
A New Theory of Numerology by _Lukas Karuzos_ (if elected)  
Home Life and Social Habits of British Muggles by _Wilhelm Wigworthy_ (if elected)  
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by _Newt Scamander_ (if elected)

Looking at the book list put a bit of a downer of Severus's mood, as he was reminded of when every single one of his books had been burned to ashes. Most of all his Advanced Potion Making book, but another book that stood out to him was that of Wilbert Slinkhard. They had used something else during his sixth year the first time around. He remembered that much, which could only mean one thing...

'Sev,' whispered Lily. 'Sev, are you paying attention?'

'Oh sorry,' said Severus as he looked up from his list. 'I was just reminded of why I actually need to buy books again.'

Lily grabbed Severus by the sleeve and shoved him into a dark corner of the shop. 'Sev, were you not paying attention?'

'Attention to what?' asked Severus, unsure whether Lily was being serious or in a frisky mood.

'Check your pockets,' ordered Lily.

Severus did as he was told and fumbled around in his pockets until his hands clasped around a small envelope. He pulled it out, and on the cover was his name written in the unmistakable thin loopy handwriting of Albus Dumbledore.

'I saw professor Slughorn slip that into your pocket when I stood up to get him some ice cream,' Lily whispered.

Severus held up the envelope. He didn't need to open it to know that it was the invitation that he had been anticipating for so long. 'But why—'

'—Yes exactly,' said Lily. 'How did Slughorn know you were here so he could slip you that envelope?'

A sensation of anger and frustration washed over Severus. 'I think,' he said as he lowered his voice, 'that Dumbledore is tracing me.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I'm not sure if this is normal in other countries or not, but over here when a student achieves perfect exam scores on the highest possible level, it usually ends up being on the news.
> 
> A/N just something I found funny. In the very first video game, Flourish & Blotts (1991) had to be briefly closed due to an outbreak of bookworms.
> 
> A/N A new Theory of Numerology is a book Harry gave to Hermione for Christmas for Arithmancy. What the actual required book was, is unknown.


	158. Gathering of the Young Order in Diagon Alley IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Some altered lines from the books and movies are used in here. All rights reserved to Rowling, of course.

Quickly Severus shoved the letter back into his pocket, figuring that Dumbledore's words were something better left unspoken until they were back in Cokeworth.

'What the hell are you two doing, sneaking in a corner?' asked Potter suddenly. 'Can't you two just, you know, leave that shit in some more private setting?'

'If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous,' said Severus, amused by Potter's angry glare.

Lily's eyes shifted between Severus and Potter. 'Let´s just get the books we need, shall we?' she suggested.

'Actually, there's someone here who wants to see you two,' said Potter.

'And who would that be?' asked Severus.

'Like Lockhart I think his name is,' said Potter. 'You know, that kid that went into—'

'—could you shut it, Potter!' sneered Severus. 'We'll go and see him.'

Severus pushed his way passed Potter, looked around, and found a head full of shimmering blonde curls facing a bookshelf on the opposite side of the shop. 'Gilderoy,' he called out. 'What brings you here?'

'Ey Severus, and Lily,' said Gilderoy happily. 'Just looking for my new second year books, and uhm,' Gilderoy looked through the window of the shop suspiciously and lowered his voice, 'avoiding my mum because she likes to coddle me. Did you two pass all of your OWLs?'

'We did,' said Lily proudly. 'You should see Sev's grades though. He's—' But before Lily was able to finish her sentence, Severus shoved a hand in front of her mouth.

'—We nearly passed them all,' said Severus, and removed his hand again once he was certain Lily had closed her mouth.

'Well that's good,' said Gilderoy, bobbing his head along in approval. 'Say Severus, I keep seeing your name in the newspapers and—'

Gilderoy was cut off, but this time it wasn't Severus who silenced him. 'Well well, look whom we have here,' said a cold voice from behind them. 'Our new _celebrity._ '

Severus whirled around in a flash, his hand already firmly clasped around his wand inside his pocket. 'What brings you here Malfoy?' he asked demandingly.

Malfoy raised his arms and indicated to all the stacks of books on the shelves. 'Just looking around for a bit of light reading,' he said casually. 'Like everyone else, I suppose.'

'Funny,' snapped Severus. 'I didn't know you could read. So, tell me, Lucius, have you been able to collect enough money to buy yourself an Order of Merlin yet? Top it up a notch and you may just get a First Class too.'

Malfoy's face fell from careless to downright sour. 'I just might,' he gritted through his teeth. 'I'd be careful pulling that wand if I were you. The ministry will not be so – _forgiving –_ the next time.'

'What's the meaning of all this?' Remus yelled angrily, and Severus noticed that not just Remus, but everyone in the entire shop had taken notice of the quarrel between them.

A sly smile appeared on the corners of Malfoy's lips at the sight of Remus. 'Pleasure to see you again, mister Lupin,' he said, back to his formal stance. 'Heard from a little bird you made quite a scene on the last day at Hogwarts.'

Remus held his head up high. 'I have nothing to hide,' he said. 'Don't like it, leave it.'

'It's not my place to take care of that,' said Malfoy with a shrug, but the lingering smile on his face betrayed he certainly knew more than he led on. 'I better get going. Have a good day, mister Snape.'

'Tell your master I said hello,' said Severus darkly before Malfoy was able to leave the shop.

For a brief moment their eyes met. 'I always do, mister Snape,' he said. 'I always do.'

With the soft tinkering of the doorbell, Malfoy left the shop, and Severus wasn't sure whether he wanted to start tossing books through the shop or run home and lock himself up in his room.

Gilderoy had been looking at the scene with frightful eyes. 'I better go check to see where my family is,' he said weakly. 'I'll talk to you two again at school, alright?'

'Sorry about that Roy,' said Lily genuinely. 'We'll see you at school again. I promise.'

Gilderoy smiled a half sort of smile, waved, and left the shop in search of his family.

'Looks like Malfoy's starting to lose his power,' said Lily after Gilderoy had left the shop. 'He doesn't even acknowledge me anymore, like he's running out of witty comebacks.'

'Malfoy may be a git but he certainly hasn't lost his power,' said Severus in a serious manner, and absent-mindedly started leaving through the Defence Against the Dark Arts books. 'His influence on the Ministry is far too great for anyone's good. He sees everything. He knows everything, and he will use everything. There's nothing we can do about that.'

Lily understood that Severus didn't feel like talking about it, so instead she gently placed a hand on his back and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. 'It all begins and ends in your mind,' she said as she ran her fingers through his hair. 'What you give power to has power over you, if you allow it. Don't allow it.'

'I know,' said Severus softly, and closed his eyes to give in to the sensation. 'Sometimes I wish that the situation was different.'

'Wishes don't get granted, Sev,' said Lily, and pulled her hand out of his hair. 'Why don't you tell me about that book you just took a hold on?'

Severus opened his eyes again. Subconsciously he had pulled out a book from the shelves because he recognised it. 'I think Frank would like to see this,' he said. 'Frank, have you got a moment?'

'What you got there?' asked Frank as he walked up to Severus, and took the book he was holding from his hands.

'Confronting the Faceless,' said Severus, only remembering just now that that was the book he had used during his brief time as the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. 'I've skimmed through a copy before. Tells a lot about defence against dementors, but also on the Unforgivable Curses.'

'Looks a bit dark to me,' said Frank as he eyed the book with suspicion.

'It is,' said Severus, 'but how do you plan on fighting the Dark Arts if you don't understand them?'

'Fair enough,' said Frank. 'Thanks. I'll look into this for a bit.'

'What was that other book for Defence we needed?' asked Lily. 'Something by Slinkhard...'

'Defensive Magical Theory,' said Severus, and with a pang he remembered why it sounded familiar to him. It was the same book that had been used the year before he became the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It was the same book that had been used when Umbridge was taking over the school one ridiculous educational decree at the time. 'No,' he mumbled. 'No, it can't be...'

'What is it, Sev?' asked Lily. 'You look like you're slowly losing your mind.'

'That book,' he said as he found a copy of it among the shelves, 'is probably the driest thing I've ever read.'

Lily raised a questionable eyebrow. 'You've actually read it before?' she asked.

'At this point I'm pretty sure I've read at least half the school's library,' said Severus, not wanting to scare Lily with something that was nothing more than a suspicion. 'It's just...I'm glad we have the Young Order if we do end up having to use this. It's really dull.'

It wasn't a hundred percent guarantee yet, but if Defensive Magical Theory was on the list for this year, the possibility of Umbridge being the next Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was highly probable. 'Anything else we need?' Severus added.

'Well, we no longer have Astronomy,' said Lily, 'and it appears I no longer get to follow History of Magic either. Not sure what you plan on electing though.'

'I'm going to drop History of Magic,' said Severus. 'I think I'm left with a grand total of eight subjects if I do that, which is more than enough.'

'Then what do you plan on electing?' asked Lily.

'Let's see,' said Severus as he counted the subjects down in his fingers. 'It leaves me with Ancient Runes, Care of Magical Creatures, Charms, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Music and of course, Potions.'

'That leaves you with seven new books,' said Lily, 'since I know we're not going to need one for Music class.'

'Unfortunately, yes,' said Severus, and the sting of annoyance that his books had been burned to ashes still lingered in his mind. 'I'll see if there are books I can get second hand so I can save some money for us for when we go to Amsterdam.'

Difficult as it was, Severus tried to push Malfoy's presence out of his mind as the wandered around the shop in search for second hand books. Everyone from the group was chatting amongst each other about which subjects they wanted to elect, and by the time Severus finally got his hands on a second-hand edition of Advanced Potion Making, Remus came up to him.

'You know, Remus,' said Severus, 'you really shouldn't worry too much about Malfoy's—'

'—I know I know,' said Remus after he cut Severus off. 'That's actually not what I wanted to talk to you about. You know I stay in contact with the Belby family, right?'

'Well, yes,' said Severus, wondering where the conversation was going to.

'Thing is,' continued Remus, 'I've been in contact with mister Mulpeper too, and he invited me to come and visit the Halfway House if I was ever close to London. And so, I was wondering if you'd like to come with me now that we're here.'

'You mean the place where he set up the lab to brew the Wolfsbane potion?' asked Severus.

'The very same,' Remus confirmed. 'James, Peter and Sirius would like to come too after we've finished here. Perhaps Lily would like to join as well.'

'I'm sure Lily would like to see it,' said Severus. 'Do you know where to find it though? I figured mister Mulpeper would have hidden the place with some enchantments at the very least.'

Remus lowered his voice to make sure they weren't overheard. 'Mister Mulpeper explained to me how to find it,' he said. 'Easiest things to do would be to go to Spitalfields first though, which is about thirty minutes East from here, and meet up there. I know the rest.'

Severus nodded along in understanding. 'It's North from Whitechapel isn't it?' he asked.

'Easiest for most of us is to take the tube to Aldgate East and walk North from there,' said Remus, 'but I suppose you and Lily will have to take your bike'.

'Will do,' said Severus. 'I'll go and ask Lily to see if she—'

'—Spitalfields,' said Lily suddenly from behind. 'James just told me that you wanted to go to Spitalfields, Remus.'

'I do,' said Remus. 'Care to join us?'

Lily joined the conversation and lowered her voice. 'Like I'd want to miss out on visiting an illegal brewery,' she said with a twinkle in her eye. 'Sev, do you know where to find it?'

'I've got a general idea,' said Severus. 'Somewhere East from here and above the Themes...'

'I've got a better idea,' said Lily. 'Sirius knows the way since he grew up in the city, and he's been wanting to ride your bike too. How about you take him with you and I take the tube instead?'

The very idea of Sirius wrapping his arms around him as they ride through London caused Severus to throw up a little inside his mouth, but he also had to admit that Lily was right. The easiest way to make it there was by having someone with him who knew the way, and so he gave in to Lily's suggestion.

'You tell him the good news, or should I?' said Severus dully.

'I'll go tell him,' said Lily with a wink, and made her way through the crowd of the shop in search of Sirius.

'We better collect our books and share goodbyes then,' said Remus.

'We should,' said Severus, not looking forward to the trip there in the slightest. 'We should.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N To add to the whole "does Snape have a middle name?" debate. I did some research. Pottermore (written by Rowling) does not mention Severus's middle name is Tobias (in the fact file it states that his full name is simply Severus Snape), nor does the HP wiki with any resources. I can't find any video or written evidence in which Rowling stated that Tobias is his middle name, so in other words, it isn't.


	159. The Halfway House

Although the remainder of the Young Order looked rather down when Remus broke the news that they were leaving, the mention of it being related to his lycanthropy however, made it easier to cope with.

'Wish I could've seen you a bit longer mate,' said Evan as he wrapped an arm over Severus's shoulder.

'We'll see each other again soon,' said Severus, 'and this time we won't have to deal with Mulciber in our dorm room.'

'Still got Avery though,' said Evan sourly. 'You think he still feels as tough now that Mulciber's gone?'

'Unlikely,' said Severus. 'Still, I wouldn't worry too much about it for now. Maybe you should go and take Emma out for dinner now that she's here.'

'I was planning on it,' said Evan. 'Actually, I think Regulus suggested something along the lines of all six of us going out for dinner together as couples date.'

'Sounds awful,' said Severus. 'But not as awful having to take that bouncing ball on the back of a bike with me.'

Right behind Severus was Sirius, who, at the moment of hearing that he was going to travel to Spitalfields on the back of Severus's bike, had been bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet in anticipation.

'Yeah, good luck with that,' said Evan as he looked at the overly enthusiastic Sirius with slight aversion.

'You ready, Sev?' asked Lily from across the shop. 'We better go if we still want to make it home today as well.'

With a final brief exchange of goodbyes, Severus, Lily, and the rest of the Marauders left the shop with their backpacks significantly heavier now they all got their hands on their next year's school books.

'I really can't believe I'm actually getting to ride your bike,' said Sirius happily as he bounced his way after Severus.

'Excuse you,' said Severus with a raised eyebrow. 'You don't get to ride my bike. I get to ride my bike while you sit on the back holding on for dear life.'

'Will do,' said Sirius, not in the least bit annoyed at the fact that he wasn't allowed to ride himself. 'Still can't believe it. Me, riding on a motorbike...'

'I think you've made someone very happy today,' said Lily as she nudged Severus in the ribs with her elbow.

They had reached the wall that led to the courtyard of The Leaky Cauldron. 'Better make sure he doesn't fall off from being overly excited,' said Severus with a growl as the archway materialised in front of them.

'We better make our way to the tube,' said Lily, and gave Severus a peck on the cheek before she followed Remus and Potter into The Leaky Cauldron, and disappeared.

'You better hold on to these,' said Severus as he handed Sirius his and Lily's helmets. 'I got to push this thing through the pub first.'

Sirius looked at the helmets like he had never seen such a thing before. 'What exactly are these contraptions?' he asked as they made their way inside The Leaky Cauldron.

'Thanks Tom,' said Severus with a wave. 'They're meant to protect your head from splitting your skull open in case you take a fall.'

'Yikes,' Sirius mumbled under his breath, and no longer looked as determined to sit on the Triumph like he had the moment before.

Severus showed Sirius how to put the helmet on, gave the Triumph a rough kick-start, and as much as he hated feeling Sirius's arms wrapped around him instead of Lily's, he drove off down Charing Cross Road. 'Where to go next?' he yelled behind him.

'I think the easiest way is to go to Victoria Embankment and then head East,' Sirius yelled back. 'Basically, just keep following the river until we pass London Bridge. I'll tell you where to go from there.'

'Got it,' said Severus. 'You know, Sirius, I haven't really got the chance to talk to Regulus today. Got any idea how he's doing now that you're gone?'

'We've exchanged some letters,' said Sirius. 'Says he's mostly just wasting his time playing wizard's chess with the house-elf and missing his girlfriend and such. Nothing about the home situation though. Probably just doesn't want to mention anything about our parents to me.'

'Are you not worried?' asked Severus. 'I mean, there's really no way of protecting him now that you're gone.'

'Severus, when exactly did you become a man who cares so much?' asked Sirius, and Severus could hear by his tone of voice that he wasn't being sarcastic about it.

'The day I became a man,' said Severus. 'But on a more serious note, I think you already know the answer to that.'

'Lily must have a lot of influence on you eh,' said Sirius.

'You have no idea,' said Severus, glad that Sirius wasn't able to see the grin that had formed on his face. 'But there's something about injustice that makes my blood boil. As I've said before, we're not that different from one another.'

'That is true,' said Sirius with a quiver of weakness in his voice. 'When it comes to Reggie though, I'm just a bit lost at what to do.'

'Just write Dumbledore,' Severus suggested. 'If you tell him you don't trust the situation you could have hem send someone from the Order over to check.'

'I think I'll do that,' said Sirius. 'Looks like we're nearing London Bridge. Just keep following the road until you're on the North side of the Tower of London, pass the tracks and then take a right into Prescot street. Then take a left into Leman Street, then turn right twice and you'll enter Commercial Road.'

Severus memorised the instructions Sirius had given him, and after about ten minutes he had made it onto Commercial Road. 'Any idea where to go from here?' he asked.

Sirius looked around to see if there was anything he recognised, until he gave Severus a pat on the shoulder and pointed at the pavement. 'There they are!'

Lily, Remus and Potter were already walking up the road. Remus waved with his arm up and down to indicate that they had to keep going, and signed the numbers "3" "7" "3" to them.

'That's halfway down the road,' said Sirius.

'Should've known,' said Severus, and kicked a gear down so he could race his way down the road.

'There it is!' said Sirius after a minute. 'I think it's safe enough to park your bike in the little street behind it.'

Severus passed an open gate and parked his bike right behind a dumpster to make sure it was out of sight. They walked up front and faced an old building that was adorned with golden letters reading " _The Halfway House"_ at the top, and _"The George Tavern"_ at the bottom.

They waited around for a bit until the rest of the group had caught up with them, and together they entered the old building.

On the inside it looked more like a pub than anything else. There were several people sitting at the bar, and right behind it was the scruffy looking mister Mulpeper, pulling tabs and serving beer.

'Severus!' said mister Mulpeper suddenly when he caught sight of the group, 'and Remus, I was wondering when I'd be seeing you here. Please, do have a seat.'

The group took the stools that were still available in front of the bar and sat down. 'I have to admit, mister Mulpeper,' said Severus, 'the last thing I expected this place to be was a pub.'

'Please just call me Nicholas,' said Nicholas as he pulled out a few bottles from a fridge that were unmistakably butterbeers, and popped them open. 'What did you expect to see here?'

Severus took a good look around. 'Something a bit more...discreet, I suppose,' he said.

Nicholas handed everyone a butterbeer and leaned in a bit so only the group could hear him speak. 'You know, in our world we like to make fun of Muggles for not seeing the magic when it entirely surrounds them, but we wizards are really no better off. In the little street behind the building I got a garden full of magical herbs and plants, and on the first floor is where I keep the brewery for the Wolfsbane Potion, along with a small beer brewing station to make it all blend in. The supply room and pantries are filled with food that I serve here, along with magical ingredients.'

'So basically, you're hiding everything in plain sight,' said Lily with a genuine smile. 'That's brilliant.'

Nicholas nodded and looked rather pleased with himself. 'The last thing the Ministry would suspect is a Muggle venue brewing Wolfsbane Potion. The fact that they're funding it without their knowledge makes it even better.'

'Are you not worried they'll be able to trace it though?' asked Remus. 'I mean, the funding is still going somewhere...'

'It all comes directly from St. Mungo's,' said Nicholas. 'The Ministry holds no control over where the funding goes to once it's donated to the hospital. As long as those rules apply, we got nothing to worry about.'

'Is there any way would could see the lab?' asked Peter after he took a swig of his butterbeer. 'I'm actually kind of curious.'

'I can take you all upstairs in a bit,' said Nicholas. 'I know it's a bit early for supper, but would anyone like to eat first?'

'I'll have some!' said Sirius happily, and the rest of the group nodded in agreement.

After Nicholas served everyone a plate full of fish and chips to dig into, he managed to have a regular customer look after bar for a bit, and took the whole group upstairs to show the brewing station he had set up.

Severus was impressed. The entire second floor was dedicated to brewing the Wolfsbane Potion, and yet everything blended in so well it was hard to tell magic was involved at all. Large supplies of the Wolfsbane plant were standing scattered amongst other herbs in the windowsills. Ashwinder and Occamy eggs were placed in the pantry among regular chicken's eggs, and perhaps most inventive of all, was a feather duster made up entirely out of magical bird feathers.

Lily had taken the liberty to strike a conversation with Nicholas, as her desire to start her own brewing company was becoming more and more of an actual goal rather than a dream.

Everyone, including Severus, learned a lot about the process of creating such a complicated potion on a larger scale. Nicholas explained them everything on how he gets his ingredients, how the Belby family was involved in all this, the duration of the process and how it was distributed under discreet circumstances.

Remus in particular was very much in awe by all of this, and so Nicholas offered him in case he ever needed a safe place to be, he was more than welcome to stay here.

Severus wasn't sure what everybody's plans were for the remainder of the day, but by the time he noticed that the sun was slowly starting to go down, he figured it was time for him and Lily to head back to Cokeworth.

'I think Erwin and Arnica would appreciate it if we showed them our OWL results today,' said Severus after he had rolled his bike to the frontside of the tavern.

'Say Severus,' said Sirius, and put up a big pair of puppy eyes. 'is there any way you could teach me to ride a motorbike?'

'Only if I can get my bike up to Hogwarts,' said Severus. 'Are you ready Lily?'

Lily strapped her backpack tightly against her back, put on her helmet and wrapped her arms tightly around him when she sat down on the bike. From the corner of his eye, Severus could see the jealous glare that came from Potter, and the touch of Lily's arms around him caused a warm glow of pride to swell up inside him.

'Thank you for everything, Nicholas,' said Lily with a wave. 'I learned a lot today.'

'Bye everyone,' said Severus. 'I guess we won't be seeing each other until the start of sixth year.'

'Motörhead's playing in The Roadhouse here in London on the fifteenth,' said Peter. 'Maybe you two would like to join?'

'That's the day before we go to Amsterdam,' said Lily. 'If we can convince mum and dad to go to London a day early, we might.'

With a final wave, Severus and Lily left, and followed back the same route he had taken with Sirius earlier to make it back to Cokeworth. The letter from Dumbledore still weighing heavily in his pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The Halfway House is located on 373 Commercial Road and was, at some point in the early 19th century, renamed The George Tavern. It's over 700 years old and is mentioned in the writings of Charles Dickens (Little Dorrit), Samuel Pepys and Geoffrey Chaucer (Poem: The Reeve's Tale). This current day the tavern mostly serves as an art, music and performance arts venue.
> 
> A/N If Spitalfields sounds familiar to you, it's either because you are British and/or because you are familiar with the story of Jack the Ripper.
> 
> A/N The Culpeper (the man mister Mulpeper is supposedly named after) is an actual pub located on 40 Commercial Street. (Yes, Commercial Road and Commercial Street are two different roads.)


	160. The Gaunt's Shack

The family was very pleased to see the couple return home with their new school books and O.W.L. results. Severus forced Lily to show her results first, mainly because he didn't want her results to be overshadowed once he had to show to show his own. Fortunately, though, the conversation regarding his exam results ended up with poking fun at his single "E", and Arnica was so happy to see them succeed, she told them they were no longer grounded and didn't have to do every single thing regarding the household any more, as long as they continued to help around.

By the time the whole family decided to go to bed, Severus locked himself up inside his attic room and hung up the robes he was given by Augusta on a hanger. It was still bizarre; having found the same robes he had worn for years and years inside a very unlikely shop. Thinking back on it, the reason why the shop only looked so vaguely familiar is probably because he never bothered to see what kind of shop it was. In fact, he didn't recall ever paying for the robes either, causing him to feel slightly more guilty about not having to pay for them this time around.

With a sigh he sat down on the bed and pulled out the letter that Slughorn had slipped into his pocket, and began to read.

_As promised, I would find a way to contact you before the end of the month. If possible, I would like to come and visit you in Cokeworth at noon on the thirty-first of July respectively._

_Albus Dumbledore_

'Vague and brief as always,' mumbled Severus to himself as he crumbled up the letter into a ball and tossed it in the bin. But still, the prospect of finally going after the ring they had been seeing inside the pensieve was something he was looking more forwards to than he liked to admit. There was something about the prospect of possible danger that excited him more than it scared him, and, in a way, that too was unnerving.

…

Several more days passed after Severus had sent Leo on his way to confirm that the thirty-first was an available date. Lily hadn't asked about any specifics regarding Dumbledore's letter, though probably because she assumed they were only going out for a chat, rather than going on a scavenger hunt for dark magical objects.

On the morning of the thirty-first, Severus came downstairs with the realisation that he wasn't quite sure how Dumbledore had planned on arriving, but he hoped it wasn't through the fireplace this time around.

Severus's silent hope was answered when the doorbell rang at noon. Once he opened the door, Dumbledore stood there, all dressed up in bright colours that made him look like a typical bearded hippie, and Severus couldn't help but smile a little at the sight of it.

Dumbledore seemed to have taken notice as he looked down at his clothes. 'I thought I would blend in nicely this way, don't you think?' he asked.

'In some parts,' said Severus, still amused by all the brown and orange that stung his eyes. 'Please do come inside.'

Dumbledore was offered some tea by Petunia, who fortunately didn't seem so frightened of him this time around. 'We better keep it brief if we still want to make the most of our day,' he said.

'Where exactly are you two going again?' asked Erwin.

'Around town, mostly,' said Dumbledore without missing a beat, 'but I will try to see him back before dinner.'

Severus gave Lily a kiss before they took off. Not a small peck on the lips, but not a long kiss either as he didn't want her to get suspicious about the situation. The realisation that he was about to encounter something dangerous was growing with each passing minute, and figured that it would be easiest to just turn around and walk away. The very thought of Lily panicking if something were to happen to him caused a cold shiver to run down his spine.

'Where were we going again?' he asked Dumbledore. 'The Riddle manor or the Gaunt shack?'

'Both houses are located in Little Hangleton, which is in the Northern part of England,' said Dumbledore. 'I've told you that I've had my suspicion that the ring might be located inside the manor, but upon further investigation, I figured that we should go and take a look inside the shack first instead.'

'What caused you to change your mind?' asked Severus as he latched on to Dumbledore's outstretched arm.

With a gentle pop, Dumbledore disapparated them both away from Cokeworth, and reappeared on what appeared to be a valley. An old town was located straight ahead of them between the two hills, and a small forest adorned the town into some sort of seclusion, causing the whole place to look rather idyllic in the summer sun.

'The reason why I changed my mind,' said Dumbledore as he started walking towards the woods, 'is because at first I believed that Voldemort would prefer to hide something of value in a place that is of value. But then I realised that the Riddle house has been abandoned and neglected ever since the Riddles died. Something that, had he cared about the place, would have looked after.'

'But he doesn't care about the Riddle manor,' said Severus, still trying to make sense of Dumbledore's reasoning.

'The reason why he doesn't care about the manor is because the manor holds no magic,' said Dumbledore. 'The shack the Gaunts lived in however, no matter how poor and dilapidated, did. Old magic, and dark magic, too. Making it a much, much better hiding place than some Muggle manor.'

'I understand,' said Severus, 'but are we still going to visit the manor if the shack turns out to be empty?'

'Perhaps we should,' said Dumbledore. 'Even if it is to gain a bit more insight into the life of Voldemort.'

On the edge of the woods they passed a hedge that Severus recognised from when they took a look inside Ogden's memory. 'We're nearly there, aren't we?' he asked.

'We are,' Dumbledore confirmed. 'But before we enter however, there are a few things I would like to ask.'

'I wasn't planning on drawing my wand unless it's absolutely necessary,' said Severus, figuring that Dumbledore was about to give him a warning.

'That too,' said Dumbledore. 'I was able to clear your name at the Ministry once, but I'm not sure if I will be able to do it again. Even if you were in my presence.'

'Is there any news on what happened on Dartmoor?' asked Severus. 'Surely there must be something more known about it by now.'

'All we know is that none of the Dementors in Azkaban have gone missing,' said Dumbledore. 'Minster Minchum may be a hardened man, but he is also an honest man when it comes to securing the wizarding world from evil. All signs are now pointing at the Death Eaters, although nothing is certain yet.'

'If it were indeed the Death Eaters,' said Severus, more to himself than as a question, 'wouldn't that mean they are preparing for something?'

Dumbledore looked at Severus with a solemn look in his eyes. 'Yes indeed,' he said gravely. 'Yes indeed.'

Once they had made it through the hedge, and obscured by a few trees, stood the shack that Severus remembered from mister Ogden's memory. It looked even more in shambles after years and years of being abandoned. Poison ivy seemed to have taken over the shack entirely. The few windows that were not obscured were all broken, and it looked as if more tiles were lying on the ground rather than on top of the roof.

'Are you afraid, Severus?' asked Dumbledore with concern. 'You seem rather fixated on the building.'

Severus shook his head. 'I'm not afraid,' he said with a hint of determination.

'Have you dealt with any panic attacks lately?' asked Dumbledore curiously, but Severus denied that too.

'I haven't,' he said. 'The only thing that frightens me more than anything is the prospect of having to visit my father in prison next week.'

A moment of silence fell between them. Their eyes focussed entirely on the shack, as if they were somehow trying to figure out if any curses were lingering outside before they dared to enter.

'I'm sorry,' said Dumbledore eventually.

'What for?'

'For not being able to find out what happened to your mother.'

'I'm taking my last shot next week,' said Severus bitterly. 'If that doesn't lead to anything, then I suppose I'm better off putting the investigation to rest and let go.'

'And can you?' asked Dumbledore. 'Letting it go, I mean.'

'Never.'

'Are you ready to go inside the shack?'

'Not until we know if there's a curse resting on it.'

Dumbledore nodded in understanding. 'Specialis Revileo,' he mumbled as he raised his wand. For a moment they both stared at the shack, but nothing happened. 'Try to avoid raising your wand at all costs, but keep it ready, just in case.'

Severus nodded, pulled out his wand and clasped it firmly into his hand. Together they slowly walked up to the shack. With another wave of his wand, Dumbledore removed some of the poison ivy, revealing a weather rotten door, and the carcass of the snake still firmly nailed to it. The snake's carcass wasn't the worst thing about the shack's abandoned state, but rather the foul stench that seemed to come from the inside.

Dumbledore tapped the door with his wand, which flew open with an ear-splitting creak from the hinges.

It immediately became clear where the foul stench came from. Hundreds of rats, mice, and other critters alike were lying scattered dead across the wooden floor, causing the whole place to reek of death.

The shack was small enough to see the inside in its entirety from the threshold. Aside from all the dead critters, the mouldy furniture and used up cauldrons with old potion remnants weren't helping the situation in the slightest.

'Do we dare to cross the threshold?' asked Severus. 'To see so many critters lying dead across the floor doesn't seem normal to me.'

'It certainly isn't,' said Dumbledore casually as he examined the door post. 'The only thing I can trace on the doorpost, however, is a Muggle Repel charm.'

Taking the risk, Dumbledore created a ball of light on the tip of his wand and shot it straight into the shack until it hovered in the middle, causing the dark place to light up.

'I don't trust the situation,' said Severus sourly. 'There's so much dark history tied to this place, and not a single alarm is being set off.'

Dumbledore didn't answer, but took a step forward into the shack with his wand held high, and made sure not to step on any of the dead critters. 'Voldemort takes pleasure in challenges,' he said carefully. 'If the ring is indeed hiding in here somewhere, we may find it with ease, but taking it will not.'

Not wanting to stay behind, Severus too, carefully stepped inside the shack with his wand held up straight in front of him. He made his way up to a closed off cabinet, and tapped it with the tip of his wand to make sure it wasn't something dark in disguise.

Nothing happened, until suddenly something started to rattle violently inside the cabinet that caused Severus to jump back and step on a rather mushy dead rat.

'Probably a boggart,' said Dumbledore as he turned to the cabinet in a flash. 'Allow me.'

With a gentle flick of his wand Dumbledore opened the cabinet. Nothing appeared to come out of it, until suddenly the dead body of a blonde girl morphed onto the floor right in front of them. 'Riddikulus,' he mumbled quickly. The body of the girl transformed into a kitten and quickly disappeared from sight.

'Who was that?' asked Severus as he tried to process what he had just seen, but Dumbledore had already turned his back on him.

'That doesn't matter,' said Dumbledore darkly. 'Come and see this.'

Curious to what was going on, Severus walked his way up to Dumbledore, and looked at his hands that he had stretched out in front of him. In it, his wand was buzzing and moving violently, as if it were trying to answer to something they couldn't see.

'It's calling to something,' said Dumbledore under his breath. 'But what—'

The answer came quickly. The elder wand rolled out of his hands and dropped onto the floor with a sharp thud. There, it kept rolling around in circles, if it was trying to say that that was the place they had to start searching.

Severus tapped the wooden floor loudly with his foot. 'It's hollow,' he said. 'I think we have found what we were looking for.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N We don't know much about how exactly Dumbledore retrieved the ring, but what we do know (according to HP wiki), is that he originally found it under a floorboard at the Gaunt shack in a golden box with all sorts of curses placed upon it.
> 
> A/N I figured that if horcruxes can call to one other, then the hallows probably do too.


	161. The Gaunt's Ring

'Has your wand ever done this before?' asked Severus as he knelt down on one knee, and felt around on the floor.

'One a few occasions,' said Dumbledore as he knelt beside Severus. 'Only then, there never seemed to be a lead or reason. It has only happened at Hogwarts over the past few years...'

'But it never pointed at anything specifically before?' asked Severus, using his wand as a lever to pull up a loose floorboard. With a loud crack, he had managed to pull up the rotten floorboard. A thick layer of dust flew up in the air, causing his eyes to dry up like parchment and his throat to feel like a desert.

'Nothing in particular that seemed of any significance,' said Dumbledore with a cough, and picked up his wand from the floor.

Severus started to brush away the dust with his hands until he stumbled upon something that was shimmering in the magic light. As he brushed off the remainder of the dust, a gilded box appeared. The extravagant look of the box looked entirely out of place inside the abandoned shack. Adorned by golden snakes around the edges, the box could not have been left there by the Gaunts. 'This is too easy,' Severus mumbld.

Dumbledore touched the box with the tip of his wand. His wand started to vibrate violently again, as if it was trying to say that they were in reach of what they were looking for, but nothing happened.

Taking the risk, Severus reached out and tried to pick up the box, but it appeared to be glued to the ground. 'Got anything to get rid of a Permanent Sticking charm?' he asked, 'or should we just cut it out around the edges.'

Dumbledore smiled. 'That's very innovative of you, Severus,' he said, 'but I doubt it's being kept here with nothing but a Sticking Charm.'

Severus closed his eyes in order to think. This would have been a lot easier had Dumbledore actually bothered to tell him how he had managed to retrieve the ring the first time around. The more he thought about it, the more it frustrated him. 'Just try some spells,' he murmured.

Not that Severus had expected it to work, but it had been at least worth to try. Dumbledore casted dozens of variations of the Alohomora Charm. ' _Portaberto, Emancipare, Dunamis, Liberare...'_ Nothing caused the box to make a move.

Severus reached out and touched it again. This time he tried using more force to break the box free from its place, and let out a groan as his fingers started to feel stiff from pulling so hard. 'You touch it,' he said with a sneer. 'There's no way I'll be home before dinner at this rate.'

Dumbledore put his wand down and carefully reached out to touch the box. The moment the tip of his fingers touched the surface of the box, a sharp noise that sounded like a cracking whip filled the air. Immediately he pulled his hand away, and looked as if he had just accidentally touched an electric fence. 'Curious...very curious.'

'What just happened?' asked Severus, his eyes racing up and down Dumbledore's body to make sure he was alright.

'I got shocked,' said Dumbledore casually as he rubbed the tips of his fingers with his other hand. 'What's curious is that it shocked me, but not you.'

Severus reached out to touch the box again. Nothing happened, which confirmed that the box was only trying to keep Dumbledore out, and not him. 'Any theories?' he asked.

'Several,' said Dumbledore. 'The first one is that Voldemort may have considered you unqualified, as he would never expect a sixteen-year-old to find it, and know what it contains. Another theory would be that he would not allow anyone near it unless that person would be marked as his equal.'

'What do you mean by that?' asked Severus. 'The latter, that is.'

'It means Severus,' said Dumbledore as he looked him in the eye, 'that you have more in common with him, than you differ.'

'I'll take it as a compliment,' said Severus sarcastically.

Dumbledore did not respond to that. 'Are there any things you know off that you have in common with him?' he asked.

A frown formed on Severus's face as he thought about what he could possibly have in common with the Dark Lord. 'A horrible childhood,' he said. 'That's certainly one. We are both half-bloods due to our Muggle fathers, so there's another one. He is a descendent of Salazar Slytherin, but my mother wasn't...'

Severus took a good look at the box again. The golden snakes that adorned the edges of the box were starting to make more sense now. 'I may not be a descendent of Slytherin, but I am a Slytherin all the same,' he said softly. 'What do you suggest we do now?'

'Knowing Voldemort,' Dumbledore started to explain, 'if you are indeed equals, something of equal value must be given in order to take the thing you seek.'

'If you want me to sacrifice my own life in order to retrieve that ring, you are mistaken,' said Severus dryly.

Dumbledore chuckled. 'No Severus, I doubt the payment would be of that nature.' From the inside of his robes he pulled out a short silver knife that Severus recognised as a knife he used to cut potion ingredients with. 'Blood alone ought to suffice.'

Severus took the knife from Dumbledore's hands, and examined it. The idea of cutting through his own skin to draw blood repulsed him, and he knew why, too. It was how his mother had died the first time around, after all.

'I can heal it for you right away,' said Dumbledore as he took notice of Severus's hesitance. 'It won't even leave a scar.'

'That is not what concerns me,' said Severus darkly. Figuring that the easiest way to overcome the fear of hurting himself was simply by doing it, he placed the sharp edge of the knife in the palm of his left hand, clasped it, and slit across in a swift motion.

For a moment he didn't even feel anything as he handed the knife back to Dumbledore. The moment he opened his hand however, a throbbing feeling took over, and sharp stabs dominated his hand as the blood started to flow down to his palm.

He placed his blood covered hand on top of the box. The blood started to trickle down the edges until it reached the snakes. Their green eyes opened the moment the blood touched them, and started to slither around the box until the lid sprung open. There, lying on a cushion on emerald velvet, was the ring they had seen inside the memories.

Quickly Dumbledore tended after Severus's wound. By tracing his wand over Severus's hand, the wound knitted itself together until it had healed up entirely.

'We found it,' said Dumbledore under his breath. 'This it is. This has to be it.'

Severus noticed that Dumbledore's eyes were entirely fixated on the ring, as if he was somehow drawn to it in the way that crows are drawn to things that shimmer. 'Don't touch it,' he ordered. 'It's cursed.'

'How do you suggest we take it then?' asked Dumbledore.

'How come you never told how you did it the first time around?' Severus snapped. 'You managed to retrieve that thing and bring it back to Hogwarts without my help. Surely there must be something brooding inside your mind right now.'

'Do you remember how I brought it back to Hogwarts?' asked Dumbledore, not in the least bit annoyed by Severus's sudden outburst.

'Yes,' said Severus angrily. 'Around your finger. Cursed, and on the brink of death if it wasn't for me keeping the curse from spreading any quicker.'

'There has to be a way to get it out,' said Dumbledore. 'There has to be...'

'Got a handkerchief or something?' asked Severus. 'If I could open the box, perhaps it's safer if I pick up the ring too.'

In was obvious that Dumbledore was rather hesitant about the idea of having Severus picking up the ring, but gave in anyway. 'Here,' he said as he pulled out a piece of cloth from his pocket.

Severus took the handkerchief and covered his hand with it. Very carefully he touched the ring, and pulled it from the box, holding it up between his thumb and index finger.

The ring itself didn't look nearly as impressive as the box had. It looked rather roughly and clumsily made, as if the maker lacked the proper tools to give it a finishing touch. The black stone that adorned the top of the ring had something carved into it that reminded Severus of a simplistic looking coat of arms. 'Any idea what this is?' he asked as he showed the stone to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore took a good look at it, and nearly managed to touch it if it wasn't for Severus pulling it away right on time. 'I'm not sure,' he said in a low voice as he snapped out of his fixated trance, 'but I would like to find out.'

Quickly Severus covered the ring with the handkerchief, tied it into a knot and shoved it into his pocket. 'We better get going,' he said. 'Did you hear that?'

A faint ticking noise, almost too soft to hear, came from behind them. It sounded as if a pair of tiny feet was approaching them, and soon more of the ticking noise followed.

Severus's heart started to pound in his chest. Something had started to move around them, and once he felt something brush pasted at his ankles he dared to stand up and turned around, wand ready at hand.

The rats and mice he had presumed to be dead, had formed a large circle around them and started to snap with their half-rotten teeth at their feet. Spiders came marching through the holes of the floor and the ceiling. Even featherless birds and other decaying woodland critters started to swoop in from the outside.

'Now what do we do?' asked Severus as he vigorously started to brush spiders from his trousers, and kicking rats away from his shoes.

'We can't draw too much attention to this place,' said Dumbledore as he used his wand to scare the critters away. 'I think it's best if we—'

'—Ouch!' yelled Severus as a rat bit him hard in the fingers. 'There are far too many of them. We better run!'

Running turned out to be much tougher than predicted. The birds had started to swoop in, trying to peck at their eyes as they tried to make their way to the front door. Flies were circling around them by the thousands, obscuring their vision that not even Dumbledore's magic light could penetrate.

Cuts and bruises were being placed all over their bodies by the sharp nails and fangs of the critters who attacked them. It felt as if each time a small razor blade was drawn across their skin, deeper and deeper with every attack.

By the time they managed to reach the door, all but their faces were entirely covered by decaying vermin. The stench alone was foul enough to make anyone faint. Due to the weight of all the critters, Severus was unable to draw his wand and figured that the only way to survive this attack was by going as far away from the shack as possible.

'Up the hill!' cried Dumbledore, who seemed to be no better off than Severus when it came to having his wand-arm free.

Severus did as he was told. Trying to run as fast as he could, he ran his way out of the hedge that obscured the shack and started making his way up the hill. One by one, the critters started to let go the farther he went.

Once he was able to draw his wand again, there was no longer a need for it. The undead critters appeared to have an unnatural attraction to the shack, and by the time Severus had made it almost to the top of the hill, nearly all of them had let go of their grip and run off.

'Are you there, Severus?' Dumbledore called out.

'I'm up here,' said Severus. 'Are you alright?'

Dumbledore walked into view. He looked entirely bruised and battered. Blood gushing from the many cuts there were strewn across his body and seeping into his clothes. Then Severus figured he probably wasn't looking any better.

'What the hell just happened?' asked Severus, and for the first time he noticed he was all out of breath. 'What—'

'—A final warning, perhaps,' said Dumbledore. 'Voldemort wants to see his enemies weakened, after all.'

Severus was about to ask more questions, but noticed that Dumbledore's eyes weren't looking at him, but rather at what was behind him. He turned a round, and came face to face with a manor that could easily fit within the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Although it didn't look remotely as dilapidated as the shack had, tiles were still missing from its roof and ivy was forcing its way inside through the cracks in the walls.

'That's the Riddle House, isn't it?' asked Severus.

'Indeed it is,' said Dumbledore as he took a few steps closer. 'What if—'

Severus didn't give Dumbledore a chance to finish his sentence. He had noticed something was moving inside the house, and quickly he had grabbed him by the beard and dragged him behind a large tree at the edge of the forest. 'Sorry,' he whispered, 'but there's someone inside.'

Dumbledore casted a spell on Severus, and he didn't need to ask to know what it was for. The Supersensory Charm caused his vision to start growing wider and wider, and ultimately it started to bend around the edges.

'Tell me what you see,' said Dumbledore, demandingly but also kindly, as he started to fix their clothes with his wand from all the tears that were torn into it.

Severus was focussed on the house, trying to trace where he had seen the movements earlier. For a while there appeared to be nothing at all, and he started to wonder whether it had been his own imagination. Then, suddenly, the face of a man came into view, looking exactly at the spot they were hiding behind. 'He's here,' he whispered. 'The Dark Lord's here, and he is looking right at us.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The spells Dumbledore casted on the box were all mentioned in the script of The Prisoner of Azkaban, but none made it into the movie.


	162. The Riddle's House

'Did he see us?' asked Dumbledore. He had managed to fix Severus's clothing from all the cuts that had been torn into them, and was now concerning himself over the bite marks in his face.

'I don't think he's seen us,' said Severus, 'but he's suspicious of something happening out here. I suggest you apparate out of here, take the ring, and go back to Hogwarts.'

Severus pulled out the ring that was still tied up into Dumbledore's handkerchief from his pocket and handed it over. 'Put it with the diary,' he ordered. 'Don't attempt to research it. Don't touch it. Don't even look at it. Understood?'

'Will you be able to apparate your way back to Cokeworth?' asked Dumbledore.

'I've apparated before and didn't get traced,' said Severus hastily. 'Just take it and go!'

Dumbledore nodded in understanding. 'Contact me right away when you get back.' He clasped the ring firmly into his hand, and with a near inaudible "pop" he disapparated from sight.

The Supersensory Charm was starting to lose its magic. The last thing Severus saw was that the Dark Lord had turned his back on the window, as if he had just imagined there was something going on outside and was no longer interested.

With his heart panting frantically in his chest, Severus contemplated whether he should apparate home right away or not. His arms and legs were still covered in cuts, and figured that if he showed up at home in this state the family was bound to raise some questions.

Figuring that if he was able to sneak into his room undetected and find some essence of dittany, he should be able to get away with it. He prepared himself to apparate back to Cokeworth, until suddenly a hand roughly grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back.

'Not so fast little boy,' said a girly voice from behind him. 'Where do you think you're going?'

Bellatrix smiled an evil toothy smile at Severus as he slapped her hand away. 'I would appreciate it if you didn't touch me,' he sneered.

'Tut tut,' said Bellatrix as she clacked her tongue, but released him from her grip nonetheless. 'You know the Dark Lord had a feeling something was out here. Turns out, he's right.'

'And so he sent his favourite sniffer dog to come and find me, didn't he?' said Severus nonchalantly.

Bellatrix looked more proud than insulted. 'Would you like to meet him, perhaps?' she asked. 'Or isn't that what you came here for?'

Severus was driven into a corner. Leaving now would mean that Bellatrix would tell on the Dark Lord of his presence, and the consequences related to that was something he did not want to risk. His only other option was to give in, follow Bellatrix into the house, and pretend that it had been the Dark Lord he had been searching for all along. 'Take me to him,' he ordered.

With a victorious grin on her face, Bellatrix pushed Severus up front and forced him to walk his way up to the house. Severus raised his Occlumency shield up as far as his mind allowed him to, yet kept his mind rattling on about every possible question that would be raised.

Bellatrix lead him to the back of the house and showed him a door that was hidden by low-hanging ivy. The door lead into a dusty cavernous kitchen, and through another door they entered the hall. At the end of the passage, Bellatrix shoved Severus through a yet another door, and entered what appeared to be a living room.

'My Lord,' said Bellatrix with a bow, 'I have found someone outside who may be of interest to you.'

The Dark Lord turned around. There were still traces left of the handsome face he once had as a sixteen-year-old, but his face was sallow, and his eyes bloodshed and empty. 'Severus Snape,' he said in his familiar cold voice, and the corners of his mouth curled into a false smile. 'What a pleasant surprise.'

'I was hoping I would find you here,' said Severus without a single trace of emotion.

'Bella, leave,' ordered Voldemort, and with a wave of his wand he closed the curtains, and lit a magical light. Bellatrix lifted her nose up in annoyance, huffed, and closed the door behind her.

'Please, have a seat,' said Voldemort, gesturing at a velvet covered sofa in the room, and Severus obeyed.

Voldemort sat down on the arm of a matching chair. He appeared relaxed, but still cautious of the situation. 'Tell me, Severus, how did you find me here?'

Severus had expected this question to arise, and without skipping a beat, he answered. 'Your diary brought me here.'

Voldemort seemed pleased with the answer he was given. 'My sixteen-year-old self certainly valued honesty,' he said. 'And how did you come by my diary, if I may ask?'

'I think a better question would be,' said Severus, 'is why did Malfoy decide to hand it to one of my friends in the first place?'

'Young Rosier needed a reminder why he wanted to follow in his father's footsteps,' said Voldemort. 'And, it was also a way of getting the diary inside of Hogwarts.'

'Why the desperation of getting it inside of Hogwarts?' Severus asked, knowing very well that if the diary had succeeded in taking over someone's body, the sixteen-year-old Riddle would have come to life and cause chaos within the school.

'Hogwarts is the safest place for it to be,' said Voldemort. 'At least, if it's safe for me to assume that it's still there.'

'It is hidden,' said Severus confidently. 'It is hidden in a place where everything is hidden, and I intend to keep it that way.'

Voldemort laughed a cold laugh and started pacing around the room. 'It is already very clear to me, Severus, that you have chosen to no longer follow my cause. So humour me, and please explain why you are here.'

'Because you fascinate me,' said Severus. 'The last time we saw each other was in the Forbidden Forest, and yet, you did not attack us. I wonder why.'

'I see no reason to attack when there is no need for it,' said Voldemort, almost with an air of boredom.

'Did you find what you were looking for?' asked Severus.

Voldemort stopped pacing around and looked straight into Severus's eyes. 'I did not,' he sneered.

'I'm not surprised,' said Severus, and started twirling his wand between his fingers. 'Thestrals are hard to catch, after all. Care to tell me why you were after the thestrals?'

'You're a clever one, aren't you?' said Voldemort, and started pacing around the room again. 'We were indeed after the thestrals. One in particular, to be more precise.'

That statement caught Severus's attention. 'And why is that?' he asked.

Voldemort quickly stepped in front of Severus and looked him straight in the eye, as if he had suddenly run out of patience. 'What is it to you, boy?' he spat.

'Because I made a certain connection a while back,' he said casually. 'Dumbledore's Elder wand is considered one of the most powerful wand ever made, and just so happens to contain the hair of a single thestral. First, I thought you were after all the thestrals and use them to make more powerful wands. But now that you mention you were after a specific thestral, I can't help but wonder why.'

'You already know, but you also don't,' said Voldemort in a whisper, and smiled the same false smile again. 'There is so much that you don't know.'

'I don't like being kept in the dark,' said Severus bitterly. 'Dumbledore always keeps me in the dark.'

'I know that,' said Voldemort in agreement. 'Dumbledore _likes_ his little games. Always telling half-truths. Always keeping secrets. How come you side with a man like Dumbledore, if he doesn't trust you?'

Severus started to laugh. 'I never said I was siding with the old man. Join his Order? Fight for his ideology? No, I could never do that. But I respect him nonetheless.'

Voldemort's voice started to rise. 'Then tell me Severus, how come you no longer desire the power that I can offer you?'

'I admire you greatly,' said Severus, and stood up from the sofa, knowing what was about to come. 'But the problem that I encountered is that we are too much alike.'

Voldemort took a step closer so they came to stand face to face again. His tall stature and authoritative presence easily overpowered Severus's stance. 'You are a man of many talents. You fought of thousands of dementors singlehandedly. You became the youngest member of the Order of Merlin in wizarding history, you are a highly skilled Occlumens, and you even killed _my basilisk,'_ he said, his voice shaking with anger.

'I did not kill _your_ basilisk,' gritted Severus through his teeth.

'How did you get inside the Chamber of Secrets?' yelled Voldemort. 'TELL ME!'

'I didn't,' said Severus, struggling to remain calm. 'You did.'

With a sharp crack, pain shot through the back of his legs as if he had been hit by an invisible whip, and caused him to go down on his knees. 'Who are you?' he ordered. 'TELL ME WHO YOU ARE!'

'My name is Severus Snape,' he said with great difficulty as the burning sensation in his legs shot up towards his spine. 'I was born on the ninth of January in the year of nineteen sixty, to a witch mother and a Muggle father, just like you.'

'TELL ME MORE!' ordered Voldemort, holding his wand up against Severus's chest. 'WHO ARE YOU?'

Sweat had started to pour down Severus's forehead. 'I was sorted into Slytherin,' he said in between breaths. I've made friends with a lot of people who wanted to join your cause, and made a lot of enemies too. What I wanted was power. Power that I once believed you were able to offer me, until I realised that the power I wanted only exists in the place where you stand.'

'WHY DO YOU HAVE CUTS ON YOUR ARMS!?'

'Because I find pleasure in pain,' gritted Severus through his teeth. 'As I said, you and I are too much alike. We are martyrs you see, you and I? We always end up going back to the places that hurt us the most. You keep coming back to a place that once belonged to your Muggle father, and I did the very same. Year after year after year...'

'CRUCIO!' yelled Voldemort. The pain that had already crawled its way up his spine spread out like a wave through his body. The top of his head to the tips of his toes were set on fire, as if he was repeatedly being stabbed by hundreds of knives. He clenched his jaws firmly against each other, avoiding at all costs that he would scream out and give in to the pain.

The pain left his body as quickly as it had come. 'Pleasure in pain you said?' said Voldemort, suddenly back to his usual state of calm. 'You most certainly are, extraordinary.'

'There is so much that you don't know,' said Severus with a grin, and knew what was going to happen.

'CRUCIO!' yelled Voldemort again. 'WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?'

All the nerves in his body were set on fire, causing him to lower his head to the floor. 'No one's,' he said weakly.

Voldemort lifted the curse. 'No one?' he asked curiously.

Severus could taste the iron taste of blood on his lips. 'It means,' he said once he caught his breath, 'that I am selfish. I don't stand on your side, or Dumbledore's. I stand by my side and mine alone. As an equal.'

He didn't even hear it coming, but the fire of the curse raged through him once more, and keeping up his Occlumency shield was growing harder and harder with each passing second.

'TELL ME SEVERUS! ARE YOU A BOY, OR A MAN!?'

With the last remaining energy that Severus still had left inside of him, he lifted up his head and looked Voldemort straight in the eye. 'I don't know,' he said darkly, 'but neither do you, Tom.'

Before Voldemort was able to answer however, he clasped his hand tightly around his wand, and with his mind focussed entirely on Lily, he apparated away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N A friend once perfectly described the idea of the Crucio Curse to me. It's basically the same thing as an epileptic attack. All of your nerve endings are set on fire, which is why your body's natural response is to shut down if it goes through such a fit. On rare occasions however, it can happen that your body doesn't shut down entirely and experiences the pain that comes with such a fit. That kind of pain feels exactly the same way as how Rowling described it.


	163. Covered in Wounds

With all the remaining strength he had left, Severus had managed to apparate into the garden, and sunk down to his knees. Sweat was dripping from his forehead to the tips of his hair. He tried to push himself up with all the strength that he could muster, hoping to make his way inside the house undetected, but failed as his shaking legs gave in to the weight it had to carry.

'Sev!' cried Lily suddenly as he heard her opening the backdoor. 'Sev, how did you get back here? What happened?'

Lily had knelt down in front him and cupped his face with both her hands. 'What happened to you?' she asked with a quivering voice. 'Where's Dumbledore?'

'Please take me inside,' said Severus weakly. 'I'll tell you – everything – later.'

With a strength that took Severus by surprise, Lily managed to hoist him up, wrapped one of his arms around her shoulder, and walked him back inside. 'You think you can make it up the stairs?' she asked.

'Try me,' said Severus. 'What I need – more than anything – is a bath.'

Step by step, Lily carried Severus all the way up to the bathroom where she had him sitting down on the edge of the tub and opened the taps. 'You're lucky the rest is still out to get groceries. Mum would probably throw a fit and rush you off to the hospital if she saw you like this.'

'Dittany,' said Severus as he struggled to take his shirt off. 'I'm going to need – dittany.'

'I'll see if I can find some,' said Lily, and quickly ran her way up to the attic room in search of some dittany.

With great difficulty, he managed to strip himself from all his clothes and lowered himself into the bathtub. It seemed to take Lily a while before she was able to find some dittany, as the tub was already filled to the brim by the time she came back.

'Don't be silly, Sev,' she said as she sat down on the edge of the tub. 'I've seen you naked before.'

Severus raised his hands out of the water and rested them on the sides of the tub. 'You're right,' he said, noticing that his breath had steadied, and his body had finally given in.

Lily gently took a hold of one of his arms and started applying drops of dittany to the wounds. 'Where did Dumbledore go?' she asked. 'It's not a very decent thing of him to do to just drop you off here in this condition.'

'It's because I asked him to,' said Severus, enjoying the soothing feeling of the potion healing his skin. 'He needed to go back to Hogwarts as soon as possible, so I told him to leave me here.'

'Care to tell me how you got all of these cuts?' asked Lily after she erased yet another bleeding wound by rubbing the brown ointment on it.

'I'm sorry,' mumbled Severus under his breath.

'Sorry for what?' asked Lily. 'I'm just trying to find out what happened to you while you were out with Dumbledore. Did he do this to you?'

Severus shook his head. 'No, Dumbledore's got nothing to do with it,' he said weakly. 'I'm just sorry that I haven't been entirely honest with you.'

'And what would that be?' asked Lily, her voice sounding a bit more stiffly than before.

'I didn't go out with Dumbledore for just a chat,' said Severus apologetically. 'We went out on a mission.'

'Something for Dumbledore's Order?' asked Lily, looking as if she was torn between being curious and getting mad.

'Sort of,' said Severus bitterly. 'It wasn't really for the order. It was something we needed to retrieve that belonged to the Dark Lord.'

'And did you find it?' she asked.

'We did,' he said.

'Where did you go to?'

'Little Hangleton. It's a town in the North where the Dark Lord's ancestors came from.'

'Could you be a little less brief, please,' said Lily, 'and give me your other arm. I'm done with this one.'

Severus could sense that Lily was growing more and more cranky about the situation with each passing second. 'What we found was a ring that is filled with dark magic. We found it in an abandoned place where his ancestors used to live. When we found it we got attacked by critters we presumed were dead.'

'That explains the foul stench,' said Lily. 'Did Dumbledore take the ring back to Hogwarts?'

'He did,' said Severus. 'That's why he needed to leave.'

Lily didn't say anything for a while, but just continued to apply dittany where it was necessary.

'I can tell you're angry,' said Severus to break the silence.

'I'm not sure what to feel,' said Lily stiffly. 'Yes, I'm mad at you, for not telling me what you were really up to. I hate it when you lie to me. I hate it.'

Tears started to roll down her cheeks. 'I know that there are a lot of things you can't tell me on Dumbledore's orders,' she added. But what if – what if you-know-who finds out that you stole that ring, and will do anything to get it back. In what position does that put you?'

'The Dark Lord would never suspect a sixteen-year-old like me to defy him,' said Severus. 'At least, that's what Dumbledore believes.

'How come you were out of breath?'

'I ran,' said Severus, the lie tasting bitter in his mouth. 'We've been running very hard, and very fast.'

'Dumbledore ran?' asked Lily with a raised eyebrow.

'You'd be surprised by how agile that old man can be,' said Severus. 'Also, I never realised how out of shape I actually am until today.'

Lily narrowed her eyes. 'I'm mad at you,' she huffed. 'Give me one of your legs.'

'I am perfectly capable of doing this myself you know?' said Severus with a grin.

'The only reason I'm doing this is because I like to feel useful,' she said as she ran her hand gently across his thigh. 'That, and I don't like seeing you hurt.'

'I'm sorry,' he said again, and looked up at the ceiling to distract his mind from getting too excited.

'You should be,' growled Lily. 'Are you and Dumbledore planning on any more of these trips?'

'Not that I know off,' said Severus genuinely, 'though I wouldn't be surprised if today wasn't the last time.'

'Next time, will you let me know beforehand?' asked Lily, and it was clear that it was more of a statement than a question.

'I promise.'

Lily looked him sharply in the eye. 'Good,' she said. 'Can you tell me what was so special about that ring, or – oh by Merlin's beard, Sev!'

'Well I'm sorry!' said Severus, torn between feeling embarrassed and amused. 'There are some things I have no control over, and this is one of those things.'

Lily flicked some water into his face. 'Now is not the time to get excited!' she cried.

'You tell him that,' Severus laughed.

'Sev I'm mad at you!' said Lily, and placed her hands onto her hips. 'This is really inappropriate.'

Severus couldn't help but continue to laugh. 'I know you're not really mad me,' he said, and splattered some water back at her. You still call me Sev.'

Lily let out a low grunt of frustration and slammed the bottle of dittany on the edge of the tub. 'Feel free to do it yourself,' she snapped, and got up to make her way out of the bathroom.

Before Lily was able to leave the room however, Severus managed to grab her by the back of her jeans. 'Lily, please,' he said, 'there are some things still left unsaid.'

'What else is there to talk about?' asked Lily sharply.

'Just – come here, please,' asked Severus. 'There's something that I want you to know.'

Although Lily didn't seem very happy about being held back, she gave in nonetheless, and lowered herself on her knees so they could see each other at eye-level. 'What is it?' she asked.

'It's just – it's just,' he stammered, 'what I want you to know, is that I've put myself in a vulnerable position over the past few years, and I can't help but feel the need to protect you.'

Lily was about to start arguing, but Severus stopped her by placing a finger against her lips. 'Please just hear me out, okay? I am very much aware that you are strong, and brave, and that you don't need me to look after you. I am aware of that.'

Lily bit her lip. 'I understand where you come from, Sev,' she said. 'But what worries me more than anything is that I know that you-know-who is after you and your talents, and I doubt he will see you as some sixteen-year-old boy when you are clearly so much more than that.'

A part of Severus wanted to scream out that he had been the Dark Lord he had encountered only moments ago. The secrecy of everything was starting to weigh to heavily on him, but he knew he couldn't, and so decided to remain silent instead.

They could hear the key unlocking the front door, which were quickly followed by footsteps.

'I better go downstairs,' said Lily as she lowered her voice. 'Please use some soap and wash your hair. You still smell like a dead rat.'

'Lily,' said Severus before she was able to run off. 'Look, I know you're angry with me and that is entirely justified, but, I really need you right now.'

'What for?' she asked.

'The one thing that's eating me alive on the inside is the fact that I have to go visit my father soon,' said Severus. 'I could use your support.'

'You know, Sev,' she said as she ran her fingers through his greasy hair, 'if it's too difficult for you, you don't have to go.'

'That's the thing,' said Severus. 'I'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it for mum.'

Lily nodded in understanding. 'I'll let mum and dad know you're back. Make sure you use all of that dittany, okay?'

'I will,' said Severus, and leaned in to give her a kiss on the lips. 'I love you. Don't forget that.'

'I love you too Sev,' she said with a smile. 'Even if you don't just smell, but also taste like a dead rat.'

Once Lily had closed the door behind her, Severus lowered himself into the tub until he his face was entirely under water. He knew Lily was running out of patience, and rightfully so. A part of him wanted to curse himself for telling her only half-truths yet again, but there was nothing that could be done about it.

It was peaceful under water, and he kept his head down for as long as his lungs allowed him to. The words that the Dark Lord screamed at him kept echoing back and forth in his mind. He knew who's side he was on. That much was clear to him. But the one thing that stung more than anything else was being questioned whether he was boy or a man, as if the Dark Lord somehow knew he had been a man before becoming a boy again. Not that the Dark Lord really knew, of course.

The need for air dragged him out of his spiralling thoughts. Quickly he washed himself until he was certain he no longer reeked of death, and applied the last remaining drops of dittany in places where it was needed.

Dinner was already served by the time he came downstairs. He sat down in his usual chair beside Lily, and took a hold of her hand underneath the table.

Lily smiled a half-smile at him, and although the guilt of secrecy was weighing heavily on his mind, the love that came with Lily's understanding was worth more than finding any piece that belonged to the Dark Lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Fun fact! Pliny the Elder (Gaius Plinius Secundus) is famous for his encyclopedic work Naturalis Historia (and for dying during the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius). A book many other encyclopedias were modelled after. In his 8th book he described that dittany is consumed by deer to heal themselves from arrow wounds. Throughout the story of Harry Potter, dittany is used several times in connection to someone who's patronus is a stag or doe. (Severus recommended it after Harry attacked Draco with the Sectumsempra curse. Another time was when Hermione used it on Harry after he got attacked by Nagini in Godric's Hollow, and to heal the burns they got after the break-in the Lestrange Vault.)


	164. Wandsworth Prison

As July turned into August, the heatwave that had ruled over the nation since the start of summer had finally somewhat subdued, and were replaced by random outbreaks of clouded skies and pouring rain.

Severus had sent Dumbledore a letter to let him know he had arrived safely in Cokeworth. What he didn't share however, was that he also had a personal encounter with the Dark Lord, as he didn't deem it safe to write about such things in a letter he couldn't magically encrypt. It was something that would have to wait until he returned to Hogwarts, and even then, he wasn't entirely sure if it was something he even wanted to share with Dumbledore or not.

Any thoughts on the Dark Lord however, were quickly pushed into the back of his mind when the days he would see his father again were starting to come closer. The only way he was able to distract himself was by locking himself up inside the shed in the backyard, and give the potions project he had starter earlier this summer a new kick-start. Perhaps creating that Greasy Git Motor Oil wasn't such a bad idea after all.

When the fifth of August finally came, Severus wasn't so sure of anything any more. He couldn't eat any of his breakfast, and by the time they were ready to leave, Erwin suggested it might be better to take the car instead, as driving a motorbike in his fidgety state would only cause trouble on the road. (And the rain wasn't helping either.)

He joined Lily in the back seat of the car and clasped her hand firmly into his own while he stared out of the window. His mind filled entirely with all the words that he wanted to say to this father.

'Which prison are we going to visit exactly?' asked Lily as they were approaching London.

'Wandsworth,' said Erwin. 'It's on the South-Western side of Greater London. You doing alright there, Severus?'

'I don't know,' he said absent-mindedly, his eyes counting the painted lines on the road. 'Can we go back?'

'Are you sure about that, Severus?' asked Erwin with a concerned frown on his face.

'No,' said Severus weakly. 'I have no idea what I want.'

'Here's an idea,' said Erwin. 'I'm going to drive us all the way up to the prison, and once we're there you can decide whether you want to go inside or not. If you don't, we'll go to Diagon Alley and find some distraction instead.'

Severus rested his head against the cool glass of the car's window. 'Thanks,' he mumbled.

The remaining time of their ride to London was spent in silence. It wasn't until they entered the borough of Wandsworth that Severus managed to tear his eyes away from the road and look around. They had entered Heathfield Road, and the walls of the prison complexion broke the view of the entire street. The signs that read "Visitor's Entrance" led them all the way to the West end of the complexion, and parked in a vacant spot.

'You ready Sev?' asked Lily as she squeezed into his hand.

'No,' said Severus. 'But I have to. I have to do this for mum.'

Severus drew a deep breath to calm himself down, and crawled out of the car. Quickly they all hurried themselves inside the building to escape from the rain and ended up in a hallway that led to a reception. The white walls and fluorescent lighting made the whole place look like hospital, only much more depressing.

'Good afternoon,' said Erwin to the lady behind the desk. 'We're here to visit an inmate.'

The lady's grumpy attitude didn't make the place seem any more cheerful. 'Name, please?' she asked without looking up.

'We're here for Tobias Snape,' said Erwin.

'And your relation to him is?'

'His son is in foster care with me. Severus, could you come here please?'

Severus walked up to the reception desk. This time the lady did look up, but whether it was because of his odd name or whether she was trying to connect his face to Tobias was something he wasn't sure of. 'We made an appointment to come and see him a while back,' he said.

'It's right here in the agenda,' said the lady. 'Got your ID with you kid? And are you over the age of sixteen?'

'I am sixteen,' said Severus as he pulled out his wallet, and showed his ID.

'That means you're allowed to go inside without guidance,' said the lady. 'Are those two coming with you?'

Severus turned around. 'I prefer to go alone, if that's okay,' he said as he looked at Erwin and Lily.

'Then you have to leave all of your belongings with them while they wait here for you,' said the lady, and pointed at a door. 'After that I'll take you through that hallway. Before you get to enter the prison, you will be searched, and then someone else will take you to the place where you get a maximum of one hour to speak with your dad. Understood?'

'Understood,' said Severus with a nod. Making sure that the lady couldn't see him, he handed Lily his wand, keys, and the wallet Erwin had gifted to him over to Lily.

'Good luck, Sev,' said Lily after she gave him a kiss. 'We'll be here.'

Erwin rested both his hands on Severus's shoulders. 'You'll always have a family, as long as you're with us,' he said just loud enough so only Severus could hear. 'Don't forget that.'

'Thanks,' he whispered back.

Severus followed the lady through the door. At the end of the hall she left his standing with a security guard, who searched him from head to toe for any objects he could potentially try to smuggle in.

'Follow me,' said the security guard, and together they made their way towards a room where it appeared more family members were having conversations with inmates.

'Just wait here,' said the security guard as he pointed at an assigned table. 'We'll go and get him for you.'

Severus sat down in the rickety chair and placed both his hands on top of the table. Even though his mind felt like a void, his hands were still shaking uncontrollably from the tension that had built up inside of him. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to make a run for it, or simply throw up.

After what seemed like an eternity, the same security guard came back with Tobias. Tobias looked like a shadow of his former self. His black hair was a greasier mess than ever, and his body appeared to be emaciated.

The security guard undid Tobias of his handcuffs and took a stance at the door's entrance.

Tobias sat down in front of Severus and looked him straight in the eye. 'Probably not what you expected to see eh?' he said quietly.

'No,' said Severus weakly. 'No, you look very...different.'

'That's what happens when the food's shit and you don't get to drink,' said Tobias with a scowl. 'Why did you want to see me?'

'To ask you a few things,' said Severus, not sure if he should continue to look his father in the eye or not.

Tobias looked as if he was already done with the conversation. 'If you want to know what happened to your mother, I don't know. I don't know, alright?'

Severus felt the nervous shaking of his hands convert into anger. 'So, you're saying you don't remember beating her to pulp and killing her?'

'I don't,' Tobias answered with a lopsided grin. 'I don't remember jack shit from that night.'

It was the pinpoint that Severus needed. Focussing on Tobias's eyes, he performed wandless Legilimency, skimming quickly and quietly through the many layers of his mind.

Severus found the moment of the night Tobias attacked them. How he was making his way home intoxicated. How he, at some point, started to hurry his way home to Spinner's End. How he had found Eileen and Severus, and how he had taken their wands and broke them into useless pieces. There were no familiar faces however. No one that Severus recognised as the potential perpetrator who either Confunded or used the Imperius Curse on him. Swiftly he broke contact by looking away, and stared down at the floor in both frustration and shame.

'Where do you live now?' asked Tobias.

'Why do you care?' Severus sneered. 'It's not as if my whereabouts have ever mattered to you before.'

'Fair enough,' said Tobias, and raised his hands up in surrender. 'Just thought you were here to talk and ask some questions is all.'

'What I really want to know,' said Severus, fuelled by the frustration that using Legilimency wasn't leading him anywhere, 'is how you ever ended up this way.'

Tobias let out a snort. 'Like this?' he laughed. 'The only reason I'm like this is because I made all the wrong choices.'

'Was I ever a wrong choice?' asked Severus.

'You were never a choice,' answered Tobias bitterly. 'You just happened.'

'I'm pretty sure children don't just happen,' Severus snapped. 'If you never wanted me, or mum, why didn't you just leave?'

Tobias started to laugh again. 'Severus, if you ever knock up that redhead of yours, then perhaps you will understand.'

Severus felt like punching Tobias in the face for the sheer mention of Lily. 'Women aren't things you can just use at your own will and leisure,' he said, his voice shaking with anger.

Tobias rolled his eyes as if to say he had already grown bored with the conversation. 'Just say what you want to say, Severus, and get it over with.'

Severus leaned in closer, ready to say everything that had been brooding inside his mind for months. 'I've kept mum's and my broken wand pieces in my new room. They—'

'—Just break a new fucking twig from some tree,' said Tobias. 'How valuable can those damn magic sticks be anyway.'

'That's not the _fucking_ point,' said Severus, struggling hard not to start yelling. 'The point is, is that you took the one thing that kept mum connected to who she really was. A witch. A thing that, for whatever reason, you absolutely despised about her.'

'I don't like women in control,' said Tobias bluntly.

'I am aware,' gritted Severus through his teeth. 'I am very much aware that you have a sickening desire to be in control. I am aware, because not only did you humiliate me whenever possible to make yourself look better, you also took advantage of her whenever you felt like it.'

Tobias didn't seem to know what to say to that, and shrugged it off. 'Anything else you'd like to say, or are we done here?'

'I'm not finished yet,' said Severus angrily, and felt tears starting to prickle in his eyes. 'I know you're not going to give a shit about this, but I'm going to anyway because I need to, for me, okay? I am afraid, terrified, of being intimate with my own girlfriend because every time the opportunity arises, I can't help but hear my own mother screaming inside my head, begging you to stop. I can't help but feel that I will end up hurting her the way you hurt my mother.'

Tobias looked blankly into Severus's eyes, as if no emotions were attached to all his wrongdoings related to Eileen.

'You kill everything,' Severus continued. 'You killed mum's soul before you killed her body. You killed my innocence by breaking me. You even killed my _fucking_ goldfish. Everything good dies in your presence.'

Tobias let out a sigh. 'What kind of fucking queer even keeps a goldfish, honestly.'

Severus had to restrain himself from lashing out. 'Pip was a gift,' he said darkly. 'A gift from someone that I care about. It was just – an innocent – little – fish.'

'Look, boy, why—'

'—don't. Call. Me. _Boy_!' Severus growled. 'It's hard to be a boy, when I never had the chance to be one.'

'You're not a man either,' said Tobias, the tone in his voice growing more serious. 'Men don't cry.'

Severus hadn't noticed it before, but tears had started to leak from eyes and drip onto the table. 'You know what my worst fear is?' he said, his voice thick with emotion. 'My worst fear is to become just like you.'

Tobias started picking dirt from underneath his nails. 'You're nothing like me,' he said. 'Not at all.'

'You say that,' said Severus as he raised his voice. 'I am just like you. I grew to be jealous, and selfish, and bitter. I have grown up to become _everything_ that you are. Angry at the world for having to exist in a place that spits on me for living a life I never asked for.'

Tobias shook his head, and it was clear that he was growing impatient. 'You're not even close to being of legal age, Severus,' he said. 'You've got a whole life of hardship and misery ahead of you.'

'Oh, I am well aware of that,' said Severus as he leaned in even closer. 'Want me to let you in on a little secret?'

'What's in it for me?' asked Tobias, his eyes shifting between Severus and the clock on the wall.

'Nothing at all,' said Severus as he lowered his voice. 'But I died, on the second of May during the war, in the year of nineteen ninety-eight. I spent thirty-eight years of my life believing that my existence wasn't valid enough to be lived by my own choices. I am ready to start over again, and I'm starting by saying goodbye to you.'

'Have you gone mad?' asked Tobias, looking at Severus as if he could not believe what he was hearing.

Severus shook his head. 'I have been at war my whole life. I have been at war with myself. I have been at war with my mind. I have been at war with where my loyalties lie, and I have been at war with the entire wizarding world. But none of those wars have been as hard, as the war that I fought - and am still fighting - _with you_.'

'You are so consumed with the idea of war that you have raised it to some form of art,' said Tobias sarcastically. 'Any last words?'

'Yes,' said Severus as leaned back into his chair. 'I have one thing left to say.'

'Then say it,' said Tobias with a wave. 'I think it's better if you left.'

Severus stood up and kicked his chair aside. 'You're not my father,' he said loud enough for anyone else in the room to hear, 'you're just the man who fathered me.'

'It's such a selfish act to make children, don't you think?' said Tobias as he looked Severus in the eye, and put up a false grin. 'No one ever asked to be born. I know I certainly haven't. You just get flung into a cold and cruel world just because your parents decided to get it on. Human nature is nothing more than one enormous act of selfishness. You'll do well to remember that.'

'Fuck you,' Severus snapped, 'and fuck everything you stand for.'

'I never want to see you here again, Severus,' said Tobias before Severus was able to leave the room. 'I'll make sure of that.'

Severus took one final glance at the man who looked so much like his older self, then turned around, and followed the security guard out.

The hallway that led back to the visitor's entrance felt as if it had been extended by hundreds of miles. It was as if time itself had stopped ticking, and the conversation between him and Tobias was projected on a consistent replay inside his mind.

He finally got to say what he always wanted to say, but that didn't take away the ache and the regret that had torn into his heart. Quickly he wiped away the remaining tears from his cheeks before he was ushered into the visitor's entrance hall.

'Stay strong, kid,' said the security guard, and the look of pity on his face made it clear he had overheard nearly the entire conversation.

'Sev,' said Lily, and quickly she tossed his belongings into Erwin's arms so she could wrap her arms around him.

Severus buried his face in the nape of her neck. 'Can we go home, please?' he asked with a muffled sound. 'I'll tell you everything later. I promise.'

From the walk up to the car, to driving out of Heathfield Road, to leaving London, to following the river back to Cokeworth, everything had become a blur as if time had started to melt and blend like oil paint on a canvas. Nothing was relevant any more. Not even the Dark Lord and his rising power. All Severus wanted was to close his eyes and seize to exist, even if it was just for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Wandsworth (Her Majesty's Prison Wandsworth) is the largest prison in the UK, and was opened in 1851. It's famous for quite a few things, including some people who were imprisoned there such as Oscar Wilde and Julian Assange. The prison has also been mentioned in books such as A Clockwork Orange (Burgess), Atonement (McEwan) and Down And Out in Paris and London (Orwell).
> 
> The "worth" part of Wandsworth is an old English word for "enclosure". The reason why I picked this particular prison however, is solely for its namesake.
> 
> A/N Fun fact! On the 5th of August 1976, The Great Westminster Clock (Big Ben) had a major breakdown after the air break speed regulator broke down after over a hundred years of use, causing the fully wound 4-ton weight to spin the winding drum out of movement, and caused a lot of damage. They were unable to repair the clock for almost ten whole months, and was not reactivated until the 9th of May 1977. The main source of time in London literally seized to exist for a little while.


	165. A Cat named Paul

He told Lily everything about the conversation with his father. Every line. Every detail, with the exception of his words regarding his previous life. Even the things he had said about his fear of intimacy with her, all while pacing around the room in anguish.

Lily sat on the bed and listened. Not once did she interrupt him, but allowed him to rant on until there was nothing left to say.

Severus had not shed a tear the moment he had walked out of Wandsworth prison, and he didn't shed any either when he sat down beside Lily on the bed. 'I still want justice,' he said softly.

'I wish I knew how, Sev,' said Lily as she tucked strands of his hair behind his ears. 'I really do.'

…

Severus didn't sleep that night. As soon as the sun started to creep in through the window, he decided to make his way downstairs and survive on coffee for the rest of the day.

Despite having been able to say goodbye to his father, it still didn't feel as if the man's presence was gone. Tobias was still there. He could see him in the bathroom mirror, hear his words when he spoke, and even feel the same kind of anger that caused his hands to shake.

Once Severus got the coffeepot to start brewing, he felt around inside Erwin's jacket in search for cigarettes, figuring he would be forgiven for taking some.

He went outside and sat down in one of the chairs, lit the cigarette with a flick of his fingers, and felt the nicotine starting to flow through him.

'Ey Severus,' said Petunia suddenly as she came out through the back door. 'How are you doing?'

Severus looked at Petunia as she sat down in a chair beside him. 'I'm not quite sure what to feel anymore,' he said.

'That's understandable, I guess,' said Petunia. 'I brought the morning newspaper for you if you'd like. That way dad won't be able to snitch the crossword puzzle. Got you a pen too.'

'Thanks,' said Severus as he took the newspaper from her hands. 'Anything else exciting going on in the Muggle world?'

'Appearantly the Big Ben stopped working yesterday,' said Petunia. 'It worked perfectly fine for over a hundred years and then suddenly the whole thing blew up from the inside. Didn't you hear anything about it when you were in London?'

'I was too busy not caring about anything,' said Severus dryly. 'Still quite fascinating though. You think it was just a mechanical error or that magic might've been involved?'

'I think they have already established that it was a mechanical thing,' said Petunia with a shrug. ' I was thinking about painting it though. It's quite a historical happening if you think about it.'

Severus looked at the picture in the newspaper. The clocks arrows were frozen at a quarter to four. Roughly around the time in which they had left London if he remembered correctly.

Not wanting to think about it any further, Severus turned the pages until he reached the crossword puzzle and started filling in the gaps. Petunia had gone back inside to pour them both some coffee, and came back followed by Lily and Leo, who was sitting perched on her shoulder.

'Hey Sev,' she said as she kissed him. 'Did you get any sleep last night?'

Severus shook his head. 'I have decided to live off coffee and wallow in my own self-pity for a while,' he said sarcastically.

'No need to be so dramatic,' said Lily with a grin. 'Got any crossword questions you're still looking for?'

'Yes, there's uhm – 'morning Arnica.'

'Good morning everyone,' said Arnica as she pulled up another chair and joined the group. 'Are we having breakfast outside today?'

'We should,' said Petunia. 'Is dad already up?'

Right on queue, Erwin came walking through the backdoor. 'So that's where my cigarettes went,' he said with a frown.

'Sorry about that,' said Severus. He pulled out another cigarette and tossed the pack over to Erwin.

'It's fine,' said Erwin with a smile. 'Take as many as you need. But making my crossword puzzle however, now that I really can't accept.'

'If it makes you feel any better,' said Severus as he handed the newspaper over to Erwin, 'there's an embarrassing one that I can't figure out.'

Erwin took a good look at the crossword puzzle, and sighed. 'Bloody hell, that is embarrassing,' he said with a snort.

'What's the question?' asked Lily curiously.

'What's the capital of Canada,' said Erwin with a frown. 'This is embarrassing. I should know what it is.'

'Toronto, right?' said Petunia.

'That doesn't fit within the squares,' said Erwin. 'It's –'

'—Vancouver,' said Arnica with a snap of her fingers. 'It's got to be.'

'That's also too long,' said Erwin. 'It's only six letters.'

All five family members stared blankly ahead. 'I'll go grab the world atlas,' said Erwin in defeat.

Erwin went back inside in search of the world atlas amongst the bookshelves, and the debate on what the capital of Canada was continued.

'Vermont?' said Petunia with a raised eyebrow.

'That's a state in America, silly,' said Lily. 'What about that French sounding city?'

'Montréal is not a six-letter name though,' Severus pointed out. 'I keep thinking about where that wizarding school was located...'

'What wizarding school?' asked Lily.

'Ilvermorny,' said Severus. 'It's located somewhere in North America. It's specialised in Native American magic if I'm not mistaken.'

'That's not going to bring us any closer to Canada's capital name though,' said Petunia. 'What about Vict—oh never mind. That doesn't fit either.'

'What's taking dad so long?' said Lily, and turned around to look through the window. 'Looks like he's on the phone with someone...and it doesn't look good either.'

Arnica turned around and looked through the window as well. 'Something's wrong,' she said, and immediately made her way inside.

Severus couldn't help but feel a bit curious about what was going on as well, and looked through the window along with Lily and Petunia. Having a deaf mother did come with certain perks. Knowing sign language was one of them, and being able to read lips was another.

Erwin had already hung up the phone and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Severus could tell he was saying something along the lines of "I'll tell him", followed by a reassuring pat from Arnica on his shoulder.

Arnica stayed behind in the room while Erwin made his way back outside. 'Girls, I need you two to you up to your room,' he said strictly.

'Did we do something wrong?' asked Lily, not quite understanding what was going on.

'No,' said Erwin. 'Right now I need to speak with Severus in private.'

Without questioning their father any further, Lily and Petunia obeyed and headed straight for their room.

It was clear that the casual atmosphere from a moment ago had suddenly gone down the drain. Erwin had never looked this troubled before, and the light that had been shining in his green eyes had suddenly turned dark.

'Am I in trouble?' asked Severus carefully. 'If so, I'm not quite sure what I've done wrong.'

'No, no that's not it,' said Erwin stiffly. 'You've done nothing wrong Severus.'

'Then what's happening?' he asked. 'Something must've happened. What—'

'—Severus, please,' said Erwin as he held up a hand to make him stop. 'I just received a phone call from the police department in London. They found your father dead in his cell.'

Severus wasn't quite sure if he had understood correctly. 'What happened?' he muttered eventually.

'Is that something you really want to know?' asked Erwin carefully. 'Because it—'

'Tell me,' Severus demanded. 'Just tell me how he did it. I need to know.'

Erwin drew a deep breath, exhaled, and spoke with a lump in his throat. 'Tobias, somehow, managed to get his hands on something sharp and used it to slice his own wrists, okay? They were too late by the time they found him.'

All Severus could do was shake his head in disbelief. 'This isn't right,' he said bitterly. 'This is not how it's supposed to happen.'

'What do you mean, Severus?' asked Erwin with a tilted eye.

Severus could feel his hands starting to shake, as if the realisation that his father was dead had suddenly started to make sense. 'He took the easy way out,' he gritted through his teeth. 'When he was supposed to rot in prison till the end of his days, he just ends it like that.'

'Severus, is—'

'—He doesn't deserve this,' said Severus as the anger started to flow through him. 'He was the last chance I had on finding out what happened to mum, and yet he feels the need to give me a final blow by ending it all.'

'Is there anything I can do for you now?' asked Erwin.

'No,' said Severus stiffly, and kicked his chair aside as he stood up from the table. 'I just want to be left alone.'

Erwin looked up at Severus through troubled eyes. 'Is it okay for me to tell the girls what happened?'

'Fine,' said Severus nonchalantly. 'I just need to be alone for now.'

Severus stomped his way inside the house and didn't stop until he had reached his bedroom and slammed the door behind him. All of the pent-up emotions that came with the feeling of injustice caused his hand to ball up into a fist, and lashed out against the wall.

Everything was reversed. Where it had been his father whom had been murdered, it was now his mother. Where once it had been his mother who had drained herself of her own life, it was now his father who had done the same. None of it made sense.

In another fit of rage, he shoved all the papers and potion phials he had lying around on his desk onto the ground. 'FUCK!' he yelled. 'FUCK EVERYTHING!'

With a rough pull on the curtains, he darkened the entire room and lay down on the bed. He had no idea what to feel. He didn't remotely give a shit that his father was gone for good, but Tobias's final words still echoed in his mind.

_'I never want to see you here again, Severus. I'll make sure of that.'_

Tobias had been planning it all along. He had been under the assumption that his father didn't want to see him in prison again, but his words had meant something else.

It didn't feel right. None of it did. He covered himself with the bed sheet as a strong sense of guilt started to wash over him. What was the point of living your life all over again if none of it made a difference? He had been too selfish, too focussed on mending his bond with Lily that he had forgotten to look after his mother entirely.

He hid himself under the covers for hours on end as the negative spiral in his mind drained him from his energy, and felt himself falling in and out of sleep.

It was Lily who eventually woke him up. 'Sev,' she whispered. 'Are you in there somewhere?'

Severus opened his eyes and noticed that everything was clad in darkness, only to realise that his head was still under the covers. 'Lily, please just—'

'– I know you want to be left alone,' she said quietly. 'You don't need to talk, but just hear me out, okay?'

'Okay,' he mumbled.

'I had a good talk with mum about something,' said Lily, and Severus could feel her place a hand on top of the bed sheet. 'Something that I know you've been meaning to ask her but kept postponing for whatever reason.'

Severus let his brain rattle to think about what he could possibly have wanted to ask Arnica about, but couldn't think of any.

'I figured that, considering the circumstances, it might help you,' Lily continued. 'I picked one out and I'll leave it here on the floor for you until you're ready.'

Lily's words did not make any sense to Severus. 'What time is it?' he asked weakly.

'It's almost tea time,' said Lily, 'but feel free to stay in bed if you want. I can bring you something to eat if you're hungry.'

'No thanks,' said Severus.

'Alright,' said Lily. 'I'll leave you be. Just want you to know that, since you named Leo for me, I took the liberty of giving this one a name. His name is Paul, and I think he really wants to meet you.'

Severus could feel the pressure of Lily's hand on the bed sheets leave, and heard the door being closed.

With difficulty, he pulled the covers away from his head, wondering what in earth Lily had left for him on the floor. He looked down over the edge of the bed and noticed a small cardboard box.

In it, was a tiny kitten sitting on a blanket. At least, if it were a kitten, as the creature was so fluffy it reassembled more of an overused grey feather duster than anything else. The only thing that gave way that it was indeed a cat were two blue eyes the size of marbles staring up at him.

'Hey Paul,' said Severus as he reached out to the kitten, and felt the bitterness that surrounded his heart melt away as he scratched the tiny creature behind the ears.

With two hands he carefully lifted the creature out of the box and placed him onto his pillow.

Paul must've been tired, as he sat down right away, curled up into a ball and fell asleep right where Severus had put him down.

'I guess we could share a pillow,' said Severus softly as he rested his head right beside Paul, and felt a tear prickle in his eye. 'Welcome to the family.'

* * *


	166. The Flight of Vernon Dursley

'I figured you would've named him Ottawa,' said Severus with a grin.

Severus was sitting on the couch with Paul, who had taken the liberty to crawl all the way up to his shoulder and fall asleep.

Lily let out a groan. 'You mean to tell me, that you actually figured out the answer without opening up an atlas?'

'Well I knew that I knew it,' said Severus. 'I just couldn't figure it out until it hit me.'

'Brilliant,' said Lily with a frown. 'Just brilliant. Paul really seems fond of you though.'

'If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was a grey puffskein.'

Petunia walked into the living room, carrying several mugs of hot chocolate on a tray. 'What's a puffskein?' she asked.

'Basically a big balls of custard coloured fur,' Severus explained. 'Small scavengers that even purr like cats do. Only difference is that they actually enjoy being tossed around.'

'Didn't we use puffskeins during our first year instead of bludgers?' said Lily. 'You know, when we were taught how to fly on broomsticks.'

'As bludgers?' said Petunia wide-eyed. 'You mean those things you use for quidditch to beat people off their broomsticks with?'

'You'd be surprised how much puffskeins enjoy being hit with a bat,' said Severus with a snort. 'Where did you find Paul?'

'He came from the new neighbour across the street,' said Lily. 'Mrs Figg recently got a whole nest of fluffy kittens and was searching for good homes for them. Paul just stood out to me.'

'I think he's perfect,' said Severus genuinely, and started scratching Paul behind the ears. 'Thank you.'

'Severus, I got some news for you,' said Erwin as he walked into the living room. 'Do you want to hear it?'

'Just hit me with it,' said Severus without taking his eyes off a softly purring Paul. 'I'd rather get it over with as quickly as possible.'

'Alright,' said Erwin as he sat down. 'I spoke with the police department on the phone, and they've told me that since you're underage the state will pay for your father's funeral. He will be buried in the graveyard that belongs to Wandsworth prison.'

'Fine with me,' said Severus stiffly.

'he left you a few things as well.'

'I don't want any of his things.'

'It's roughly a thousand pounds in savings.'

Severus looked up at the mention of inheriting a thousand quid. 'So, the bloody bastard did stuff money into his own pocket. I should've known.'

'Is it something that you want to claim or not?' asked Erwin.

'I will,' said Severus. 'The very least I could do is use that money for something good this time around. I could buy my girlfriend that SG guitar she's been drooling over, for example.'

Lily's mouth fell open in surprise. 'D'you really mean that?' she asked with delight.

'Well I did promise, didn't I?' said Severus. 'You'll have to wait until your birthday though.'

'Oh, that is so mean!' Lily whined. 'That's half a year of having to wait in agonising anticipation.'

'Severus, if you'd like I'll just take care of everything regarding your father at this point,' said Erwin. 'It'll save you a lot of frustration.'

'I really appreciate that,' said Severus sincerely. 'I don't want to be dealing with any of his things.'

'Say dad,' said Petunia suddenly. 'Isn't it possible to adopt Severus now that he's...you know...'

'I suppose we could, yes,' said Erwin, 'but, if we were to do that, he would also become you and Lily's legal brother, which would make the situation very awkward if they ever wanted to get married.'

Both Severus and Lily started laughing at the very thought of it. 'There are already people disapproving of our relationship because she's technically my foster sister,' said Severus. 'Like Potter, and Vernon—'

'—Speaking of Vernon,' said Petunia, 'sorry I forgot to mention it but he's coming over tonight.'

'Will he be here for dinner as well?' asked Erwin, and from the tone of it his voice it was quite clear he wasn't looking forward to it.

'Yes, he will be,' said Petunia with a nod. 'Now, if you can excuse me, I want to write a letter to whoever is in charge of the Big Ben and ask if I can make a painting of the damage inside.'

'I better start taking care of those things for you,' said Erwin, and together with Petunia they left the living room.

'Are you feeling any better, Sev?' asked Lily as she leaned up against him, and gently started petting Paul with a finger.

'I'm alright,' said Severus. He had to think about what his father had said about making all the wrong choices, and wondered if men like Tobias also had a chance to relive their lives to set their record straight. He had made all the wrong choices to first time around too, after all. 'You think Paul will stay small forever?'

'I'd hate to say it Sev,' said Lily, 'but I've seen his mother and I'm afraid he's going to turn into a small house tiger.'

…

Lily and Severus had taken the liberty to prepare dinner, though mostly because it was the only way to avoid having to listen to Vernon boasting on and on about his father's company.

By the time dinner was served however, they had run out of ways to avoid Vernon, and decided to sit as far as humanly possible on the other side of the table.

'Could someone get rid of that thing for me please?' asked Vernon suddenly as he started shooing at a very frightened looking Paul.

'He's not a _thing_ ,' said Severus with a sneer, and came to pick up Paul from the floor. 'He's my cat and his name is Paul, thank you very much.'

'I don't like cats,' said Vernon bluntly. 'I never quite understood why anyone would bring an animal into their house, when all they do is require money to take care of and leave fur all over the place. It's gross.'

'Paul is helping me get through a rough time,' said Severus as he put the rather insulted looking Paul on his lap.

'What could possibly be so rough in your life?' asked Vernon.

Severus couldn't help but raise his voice a little out of sheer annoyance. 'Well, for instance—'

'—Could you two please be quiet,' said Arnica sharply. 'Why is it that every time we have a family dinner an argument breaks out?'

'Because it's quite obvious that Vernon absolutely hates my guts,' Severus stated. 'From the way that I look, to my interests, to the fact that I'm a wizard. In his eyes I am below him, just for being born on the wrong side of the tracks.'

'You do come with a lot of troubles, Severus,' Vernon grunted. 'I honestly don't quite understand why Lily tolerates so much from you.'

'I could ask you the exact same question, _Vernon,_ ' Severus sneered. 'Why it is that you keep coming back here when you obviously hate it so much.'

'Could we all please, _please,_ have a normal dinner together,' Petunia cried. 'Just once, please. We're all going to have to deal with each other when we're in Amsterdam after all.'

Severus let out a groan at the mere thought of having to share a hotel room with Vernon for several days. 'Honestly Petunia, what is it that you see in this man?'

Petunia's voice had started to shake. 'Vernon happens to be a perfectly decent man who is going to take me to Oxford on Wednesday for my art presentation.'

'Petunia,' said Vernon as he lowered his voice. 'About that...'

'What is it this time?' snapped Petunia, already on the verge of yelling. 'Something you need to do for your father's business again?'

'Yes,' said Vernon, raising his head up with pride. 'He asked me if I wanted to take over his seat and look after the company while he's away on business.'

Petunia had sprouted tears in her eyes. 'But you promised,' she gritted through her teeth. 'You promised you would come to Oxford with me.'

'Sorry Petunia, but I can't let an opportunity like this surpass. Just go with your family if it's really that important.'

Petunia slammed her fork down on the table. 'Of course it is important to me!' she yelled. 'My entire future depends on that day, and I wanted you to be there for support. Can't you just—'

'Girls, leave,' said Erwin darkly. 'All of you.'

It was as if the entire atmosphere had suddenly changed. The tense atmosphere that Vernon always seemed to bring along with him still lingered, only now it was Erwin who took the lead.

Lily, Petunia, and even Arnica obeyed to his command, as if they all knew what was going to happen and were better off not being in the same room when it happened.

'What's going on?' asked Vernon once the girls had all hurried their way upstairs. 'Why are you sending them away? Why is he still here?'

Erwin folded his hands and leaned forward. His green eyes were clouded with an anger that Severus knew all too well from Lily, but his body remained entirely calm. 'You and I need to have a little chat, Vernon,' he said in a low voice. 'And it's not going to be pretty.'

'Look, I'm sorry I can't take Petunia to Oxford, okay?' said Vernon almost laughingly, as if he were afraid he would suddenly be dragged across the table and beaten to pulp. 'My father made these plans and there really wasn't much that I could do about it.'

A grin appeared on Erwin's face that looked far from natural. 'Surely there are more capable people working at your father's office, am I wrong?'

Vernon just shrugged, and his eyes kept shifting towards the hall as if he was calculating the quickest way to escape in case Erwin lost his cool.

'Let me tell you a little story Vernon,' said Erwin authoritatively, and made sure his eyes were locked into Vernon's so he couldn't look away. 'When I came home from war, there were two kinds of people that came up to me. The first one, was the kind that praised me for my service, and the other was the kind that deemed me a monster for the things I've done. But, between the two there was always one thing that they had in common, which is that they all asked me the very same question. Any idea what that question could be, Vernon?'

Vernon stared blankly ahead of him, as if he wasn't sure Erwin was being serious or playing a mind trick to intimidate him. 'I don't know,' he said weakly.

'The one thing everyone always seemed to ask,' Erwin continued in the same low voice, 'is how many men I've killed. As if each life that I took was either a victory, or another piece torn of my soul. I've always found it rather rude, when people asked me that. As if it's such a normal thing to have killed a man. Like a number you could just add to your scoreboard of victory points.'

Vernon was clearly growing more and more uncomfortable and had started to become fidgety in his seat. 'Why exactly are you telling me this?' he asked in a mousy voice.

'I have always given everyone who has asked me that the exact same answer,' said Erwin, the anger growing more prominent in his voice. 'I cannot give you an exact number, _when I haven't finished killing yet_.'

Vernon quickly rose to his feet. 'I think it's better if I left.'

Erwin rose to his feet as well. He may not stand tall, but he certainly looked impressive. 'You come into my house,' he said, his voice now shaking with anger. 'You dare come in here declaring your love for my daughter. You come in here claiming you respect my family, but all you do is degrade, humiliate, and hurt them.'

'I better leave,' Vernon repeated, and started to push his way towards the front door.

'I'm not finished with you yet,' said Erwin as he pushed Vernon back into his place. 'The moment you walk out of that door, I no longer want to see you. I no longer want to hear from you. I no longer want your name to ever be mentioned in this house again. The moment you walk through that door, my daughter will be free from you. Is that understood?'

Vernon seemed suddenly quite hesitant on pushing his way out of the house, as if a small part of his didn't want to lose Petunia after all. 'How could I ever marry someone related to such freaks,' he spat.

'Severus, he's yours,' said Erwin coldly, and took a step aside to give Vernon free range to leave. 'Do as you please.'

Severus had been expecting this, and was willing to embrace any opportunity to chase Vernon out of the house with open arms. 'Want to go outside for a little chat, Vernon?' he asked with a false grin.

'Not with you,' snapped Vernon, and quickly stomped his way to the front door.

'I'm afraid you leave me no choice,' said Severus casually as he followed Vernon outside. He made sure Vernon had just turned around the corner when he ran passed him and pushed him up against the wall, his wand held steadily in his hand as he held it against his throat.

Vernon started breathing heavily, and looked down at Severus's wand as if he was holding on explosive device that could go off at any second. 'Don't...point...that...thing...at... _me!'_

'Let me get one thing straight with you, Vernon,' said Severus as he ignored Vernon's pleads of mercy. 'You leave my sister alone, and we're good, but if I hear nothing but even your name drop in a conversation, I will make sure you become the first person on my list of people that I need to kill.'

'Like you've ever killed a man,' Vernon spat.

The corner's of Severus's mouth curled into a twisted smile, and lowered his voice. 'You have no idea Vernon. You have no idea.'

Sweat had started to drip from Vernon's face. 'You're all mad,' he whimpered. 'All of you.'

'It must be the magic that makes us wicked,' said Severus as he lowered his wand. 'You better run, or I might curse you.'

Vernon didn't need to be told twice to make a run for it. 'Tell Petunia I won't be coming back for her!' he yelled.

'Gladly,' Severus yelled back. 'I might just transfigure you into a pig if you did.'

Vernon turned around one last time, his eyes red from fury. 'There is no such _thing_ as magic.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The value of £1,- in 1976 is roughly the equivalent of £7.58,- in 2016.


	167. On Cats and Kneazles

Several days went by since Vernon's flight. Petunia had been left in a state of uncontrollable sadness, and would sometimes randomly burst out in tears. On the day Vernon was supposed to bring her to Oxford, the entire family had decided to come along and show their support. Despite the break-up, the school's officials seemed thoroughly impressed with her work, which did help raise her spirit significantly. Bit by bit, she started to come to the understanding that Vernon was never coming back, and the prospect of going to Amsterdam replaced her sadness into excitement.

In the meantime, Tobias had been buried in Wandworth's graveyard. The few things he still had in his possession were donated, and the money he still owned was now transferred over to Severus.

With Tobias's burial, another thing Severus had not foreseen had happened. By having his name stamped into the newspapers over the past couple of months, his father's death had no gone unnoticed. In both Muggle and wizarding news Tobias's death was mentioned. From the Muggle's perspective it was more related to the lack of professional security at Wandsworth prison, but from the wizarding world's perspective questions arose whether magic had once again been involved. The fact that Severus had only visited his father moment's before, had not gone unnoticed.

Aside from that, the emphasis that Severus was now officially orphaned weighed heavily on his shoulders, and the frustration that came with not knowing what happened to his mother still lingered, but, for whatever reason, having Paul by his side did help.

From the short period that Paul had been living with them, he had grown from a tiny round dust mop to a somewhat bigger rounder dust mop, and Severus was forced to grab another pillow from the couch as he was no longer able to share his own pillow with Paul anymore. Not that he minded, as there was something very soothing about having a cat softly purring by his ear.

The day before they would fly out to Amsterdam, Lily reminded him that they were still invited to see Motörhead in The Roundhouse in London. Erwin told them that if they wanted to go, they could, as long as they made sure to pack their belongings beforehand and were awake enough to make it to the airport the next morning. In a way it would even benefit them, as fitting five people with luggage was going to be nearly impossible inside the old Morris.

Severus agreed with Lily to go see the concert in London, figuring that he could use the distraction, and meet with the rest of the family later inside the Leaky Cauldron.

Leo was able to take care of himself as long as he was able to fly in and out of the house, but Paul still needed a place to be for the time being. Reluctantly, Severus decided that the best place for Paul to be was with Mrs Figg for as long as they were in Amsterdam. By the time Lily told him it was really time to go if they still wanted to make it, Severus carried Paul across the street and rang the doorbell.

Mrs Figg opened the door, and her eyes shifted from Severus to the cat he was carrying. 'You must be Severus,' she said in a friendly voice. 'Something the matter?'

'No, he's is fine actually,' said Severus. 'It's just, I wanted to ask you for a favour.'

'Please do come inside,' said Mrs Figg with a wave. 'Have you given him a name yet?'

'Lily named him Paul for me,' said Severus as he went inside, and could smell a faint scent of cabbage and cat litter fill his nostrils. 'Thing is, we'll be in Amsterdam for a couple of days and I need someone to look after Paul for the time being.'

'No problem at all dear,' said Mrs Figg. 'Feel free to put him in the living room. He still has a few sisters living here.'

The faint scent of cabbage grew into a stronger one once he entered the living room, and found a whole bunch of cats were playing with toys, including the tortoise shell cat he had seen earlier this summer.

All of the cats seemed to be of an abnormally large size, and once he caught sight of a particularly large cat with bat-like ears and a tufted tail, questions started to arise to the surface. 'Mrs Figg, are these cats kneazles by any chance?'

'Dumbledore told me you were a sharp one,' said Mrs Figg. 'Most of them are half-breeds, like Paul, for example.'

Severus put Paul on the floor, who immediately ran off chasing a few similar looking cats whom Severus figured had to be his sisters. 'You moved here shortly before Lily and I came back to school, didn't you?'

'Straight to the point, are we?' said Mrs Figg with a raised eyebrow. 'I moved here after auror Moody got called back to the Ministry. Dumbledore placed me here for the time being.'

'Dumbledore?' asked Severus. 'Are you a member of the Order?'

'Yes I am,' Mrs Figg confirmed. 'Though my part in it is quite minor I'm afraid. I'm a squib, after all.'

Severus couldn't help but wonder why replacing a famed auror for a kneazle-breeding squib was ever a good idea in Dumbledore's mind, but decided wisely not to argue it. 'I promise I won't tell anyone. I better get going. Thank you for looking after Paul for me.'

'No problem at all dear,' said Mrs Figg with a smile. 'Merlin knows you could use some fun after everything that's been going on in your life.'

Paul made a few circles around his feet, and looked up with his big blue marbles as if to say that he somehow understood Severus would only be gone for a few days.

After Severus thanked Mrs Figg again and left the house, he had to admit to himself that he was going to miss having Paul sleeping beside him. He knew something was a bit off about him, but the thought that he was part kneazle had not occurred to him yet. Still, learning the fact that Paul was actually magical put an involuntary grin on his face.

'Ready to go, Sev?' asked Lily, already carrying her helmet under her arm.

'I'm ready,' said Severus, 'and there's something that I got to share with you too.'

After making sure everything they needed for their trip was packed inside the Morris, Severus and Lily hit to road on their way to London.

'What was it that you wanted to tell me?' asked Lily.

'Don't tell your parents okay?' said Severus. 'Turns out Mrs Figg is a member of Dumbledore's Order.'

'Woah really?' said Lily in surprise. 'How is that even possible?'

'She's a squib,' Severus explained. 'Turns out the cats she breeds are actually part kneazle. Paul is also part kneazle. She actually moved here on Dumbledore's orders.'

'Who would've thought,' said Lily laughingly. 'Never would've guessed there was more magic to be found in Cokeworth.'

'Technically, I did promise I wouldn't tell anyone though,' said Severus. 'I think it would be better not to tell your parents we're still under surveillance.'

'I promise I won't tell,' Lily stated. 'Still...Paul a kneazle. I had absolutely no idea.'

'Any idea where we need to go in London?' asked Severus.

'I do,' said Lily. 'You know how to find Camden Town? It's a little further up North from there.'

'Got it,' said Severus.

Having taken the road between Cokeworth and London so many times before, it felt as if they already arrived before the journey had started. Tom the barman allowed him to park his bike in the alleyway again and told them the easiest way to get to The Roundhouse was by taking the tube to Chalk Farm. By the time they had reached The Roundhouse, all four Marauders had already arrived.

'We were just wondering if you two would show up,' said Potter. 'Already got you tickets.'

'Thank you James!' squealed Lily in delight, and to Severus's dismay she gave him a hug. 'Sorry we can't stay for too long. We're flying out to Amsterdam in the morning.'

'Are you two staying at the Leaky Cauldron as well?' asked Remus.

'We are,' said Lily with a nod. 'And so are my parents and my sister. Haven't rented any rooms yet though.'

'Could Severus stay with us perhaps?' Peter suggested. 'It'll save you on costs and I'm sure the barman doesn't mind conjuring up another bed.'

'Fine with me,' said Severus, and in the distance he could see a rainy cloud starting to roll in. 'Shall we go inside?'

The place was already packed by the time they got in. Severus started to grow uncomfortable with all the people that surrounded him, and cursed himself for not thinking about it sooner.

Remus seemed to have taken notice, and asked everyone if it was okay to go up to the balcony so they were able to see the stage. Severus knew better, of course, but couldn't help but appreciate the gesture as they walked up the staircase, and found a spot where they could see the audience and the stage from above.

'Anyone want a beer?' asked Potter. 'I'm going to get everyone a beer okay.'

As Potter left, Sirius came standing right next to Severus, and lowered his voice. 'I did what you suggested me to do.'

'Remind me again?'

'I wrote Dumbledore a letter, asking about what could be done for Reggie.'

'And what did he have to say?'

Sirius shrugged, but still carried a troubled look on his face. 'Said that there really isn't much that he can do unless Reggie states that he wants to leave home himself.'

'Does he?'

'I'm not sure. I think he doesn't want to leave because of the house-elf.'

'When I see him at school again, I'll see what I can do.'

'Thanks.'

'Severus,' said Remus as he joined the conversation. 'How is uhm...everything?'

'I see you read the newspapers,' said Severus. 'I'm fine, honestly. All I got was a small inheritance and an even bigger mystery revolving my mother.'

'I'm sorry to hear that.'

'Don't be.'

'I think I see Prongs coming back,' said Peter as he pointed at the staircase. 'Carrying what looks like a large pitcher of beer and some glasses.'

Potter had come back just in time, because the lights were being dimmed and the crowd started to cheer.

After everyone had quickly been given a beer, Severus pulled Lily in front of him and let her lean up against the fence. She had one hand firmly wrapped around the bar and the other clasped around her beer as she leaned in forward, and Severus couldn't help but admire the miracle that had brought him back to the woman before him.

He quickly downed his beer and wrapped both his arms firmly around her. Drawing in her beer infused musky scent as he lowered his head and kissed her neck.

'Don't stop,' she whispered right before the music kicked in.

'I wouldn't dare,' he whispered back, and from the corner of his eye he could see Potter staring at the stage as if he was trying very hard not to see what was happening beside him.

'Bit turned on, are we?' asked Lily as she looked up at him seductively.

Severus put up a wide grin. 'How can I not be when there's a man playing the bass like a guitar, and singing songs about iron horses'.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N According to HP wiki, Mrs Figg's profession was that of a cross-bred cat and kneazle dealer. Supposedly you can only own kneazles with a specific license, but I'm not sure if she really stuck to that rule.
> 
> A/N On the 15th of August 1976, Motörhead did play at The Roundhouse in London. (Their first album however, came out in 1977). Sadly I was unable to find a set list from that time. Yes, Motörhead is a British band by origin, but Lemmy Kilmister (lead singer and bass player), found his forever home in LA in a small two-room apartment only two blocks away from the Rainbow Bar and Grill. I'm very glad that I got to see him live shortly before he died. *sobs*
> 
> A/N Song mentioned: Iron Horse/Born To Lose from Motörhead's self titled album. Iron Horse is a reference to motorbikes.


	168. Flying Muggle Contraption

Determined not to miss out on their flight, the family had arrived at the airport much too early in the morning.

The whole family had picked up either a book or a magazine to read as they waited inside the terminal. Everyone except for Severus, who was looking wide-eyed at all the aircraft outside that were either taxiing or taking off.

'It's not normal,' he mumbled to Lily, who was fixated on an article in the _Sounds_ newspaper she was reading.

'What's not normal?' she asked.

'Aeroplanes,' said Severus as he pointed at an aircraft lifting off the ground. 'How can magic _not_ be involved. Just...just look at it!'

Lily tossed her newspaper aside and looked at Severus with amusement. 'You're scared, aren't you?'

'No,' said Severus weakly, the lie obvious from his tone of voice. 'It just confuses me how something so large and heavy can keep itself up in the air. It's not normal.'

Petunia looked up from her book as if she could not believe what she was hearing. 'You possess magical powers, and yet you can't imagine how an aeroplane is held up in the sky?'

'That's the thing,' said Severus suspiciously. 'There is no magic involved. How can there not be magic involved?'

'Sev, you're repeating yourself,' said Lily as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder. 'We should've brought you some Calming Draught.'

'From the looks of it we should've brought chloroform,' said Erwin with a snort.

'Not funny dad!' Lily snapped.

'What? It worked like a charm when I was still in the military.'

Arnica gave Erwin a playful slap against his arm. 'Severus, is there anything we can do for you?'

Severus let out a growl. 'Just blindfold me and shove me into that flying muggle trap. The less I see, the better.'

'Maybe it's a good idea to stop looking at all the aeroplanes taking off,' said Lily as she shoved her hands of his eyes.

'I can still _hear_ them you know?' Severus whimpered. 'This isn't normal...'

'I heard you the first time, Sev,' said Lily, and planted a kiss on the side of his head. 'Thousands of people fly every single day, and they always come out of the plane just fine.'

'This isn't reassuring me in any form or way,' said Severus stiffly, and pulled Lily's hands away from his eyes. 'What if I just stay back in Cokeworth instead? It's not as if you need me to be in Amsterdam. I could just take a train or a bus back home. I'm sure Leo would appreciate it. Paul misses muh—'

Lily had shoved a hand in front of his mouth. 'You're trapped,' she whispered into his ear. 'You're trapped and you're coming to Amsterdam with us.'

Severus jumped up from his seat. 'I need to walk around for a bit. How long is the flight anyway?'

'About an hour,' said Erwin, his eyes following Severus as he paced around the terminal. 'Think you can make it all the way there without throwing up?'

'Doubt it,' said Severus, 'I—'

Severus was interrupted by a booming intercom, notifying all passengers that it was time to start boarding the plane.

'I'm not going,' he stated. 'I'm not. I'm going home. Paul needs me. I'm—'

'—Getting on that plane,' said Lily sharply, and clasped her hand firmly into his. 'Come on. Do it for me.'

Severus struggled as he tried to pull his hand away. 'That's a horrible bribe and you know it!' he whimpered. 'Please don't make me do this. Please...'

Erwin must've had enough of Severus's shenanigans, because with a swift motion of his arms he lifted him up into a fireman's carry and carried him straight through the doors that led to the plane's ladder.

'This is not okay!' yelled Severus, trying hard not to start swearing in front of a crowd of muggles that surrounded them. 'Put me down. PUT. ME. DOWN!'

Erwin didn't put Severus down until they had reached the ladder that led to the front side of the plane, and put up a grin. 'It's a good thing you're such a lightweight, Severus.'

'I see where Lily got her strength from,' he sneered. Already standing in front of the ladder, he was blocked by an entire crowd that wanted to get inside.

'C'mon, Sev,' said Lily as she pushed her way through, and took Severus by the hand. 'I'll talk you through it the entire way there.'

Swearing under his breath, Severus gave in. As if his shoes had suddenly been filled with lead, he made it up the stairs and into the cabin. 'Now what?' he spat.

'Our seats are right over there,' said Lily as she pointed at two seats down the aisle. 'If you want, you can sit by the win—'

'—I'll take the aisle seat thank you,' he said as he trudged his way to the seats Lily had been pointing at. 'That way I can run off when I need to.'

Lily took her seat by the window, and the rest of the family came sitting right behind them.

'Why the fuck does this thing have seatbelts?' asked Severus as he suddenly noticed the metal things he was sitting on. 'The Morris doesn't even have seatbelts in the back. Why do planes need it?'

'Because commercial aeroplanes fly between five to six-hundred miles an hour,' said Erwin casually.

'The fastest racing broom doesn't even fly that fast,' Severus snapped back. 'This isn't normal. It isn't. No.'

Lily had taken the liberty to put Severus's seatbelt on to strap him down. 'What is your biggest fear right now, Sev?'

That was a good question. 'I don't even know,' he said sourly. 'The fact that this _thing_ is making me claustrophobic. Or the fact that it weighs an unmeasurable amount that is, somehow, capable of staying up in the air.'

'Sev, what is the worst thing that could happen?'

'That this thing plummets out of the sky and we all fall to our deaths.'

'We'll be spending most of our time above water. If it does plummet, we'll most likely survive.'

Severus narrowed his eyes at Lily. 'I can't swim, remember?'

'In that case we all survive but you.'

'You're not helping.'

'You're not giving me a chance to do so.'

Petunia leaned forward so her head rested in between the two seats in front of her. 'I wonder what would happen if Severus goes on a roller-coaster.'

'I can only imagine,' said Lily with a snort.

'Very funny,' said Severus bitterly. 'Why are you even comparing flying to a roller-coaster?'

'It's not that different, really,' she said casually. 'There' a lot of tension when the plane taxies off and goes up, not to mention what it feels like when you go down again...'

'I called you my sister, Petunia,' said Severus as he started to fumble with the buckle of his seatbelt. My sister! And this is how you repay me!'

'If you think sisterhood comes with pink bow ties and niceties you are mistaken,' said Petunia as she ruffled through his hair. 'Looks like we're ready for take-off.'

The last thing Severus saw before he closed his eyes was the door of the cabin being shut tight. His last chance of being able to escape had been flung out of the window.

'You might want to watch the safety brief,' said Lily as she nudged him in the ribs.

'Doesn't matter,' said Severus stiffly. 'If something were to happen, I'll drown anyway, remember?'

'Sev,' said Lily as she tried to get him to unclasp his fists. 'I've never seen you this tense before, and that is saying something.'

'Are you saying that I'm always tense?'

'I'm saying that you're always alert. Please, just...try to relax your hands at least.'

He hadn't even noticed just how tense he was until Lily pointed it out, and rested his head against his shoulder. 'I think I'm going to be sick.'

'I can't believe I'm saying this but, I'm actually glad you haven't eating anything this morning.'

'I had beer last night,' he mumbled against her shoulder.

'You had one beer, _last night._ You will be just fine, Sev. Also, I'm a little bit surprised by how suddenly you are afraid of death.'

'I'm not afraid of death.'

'Don't be silly. Everybody is afraid of death to some degree.'

'I'm not afraid of death,' said Erwin behind them. 'It helps if you've looked death in the eye and told it to fuck off.'

'Language, please!' said Arnica angrily. 'We're surrounded by...decent people.'

The engines of the aeroplane started to run, which caused Severus's eyes to pop open in fear. 'This is it. This is the end.'

'Sev, you are the biggest drama queen I've ever had the fortune to meet,' said Lily as she nudged him in the ribs. 'But like dad said, just tell death to fuck off for now.'

The plane had started to move as it was being carried to the runway. 'I'll try,' he said weakly. 'How do these things even fly?'

'You sound like Arthur, Severus,' said Erwin. 'I thought you knew how it worked?'

'Sort of.'

Erwin was about to start explaining when suddenly the engines started to roar, causing Severus to whimper and bury his face into Lily's neck.

'Just look outside, Sev,' said Lily in an attempt to sound reassuring. 'It helps.'

With one eye he peeked out of the window, and saw nothing but asphalt and dry patches of grass flashing by as the plane started to speed up. After what seemed to take forever, a strange feeling started to rise in his stomach, and he understood that the plane was no longer attached to the ground.

He could feel his ears starting to pop as they rose higher and higher up in the air. The airport turned into the size of a post stamp, and bits of London had started to become visible.

'How high do these things even go?' he asked.

'Uhm...well that varies,' said Lily. 'Somewhere up in the clouds. Sometimes above.'

'This isn't normal,' he mumbled, and noticed they were now approaching the North Sea. 'Why is the plane shaking?'

'Turbulence,' Erwin explained. 'Since the air is clear it's probably because of air pockets. It's like driving a car over a gravel road. There's nothing to fear.'

'I don't like it. I don't like it at all.'

'You're holding up just fine, Sev,' said Lily reassuringly. 'We'll be there before you know it.'

The rest of the journey to Amsterdam was a bit of a blur to Severus. He was far too tense to enjoy any of it, and by the time the plane started to descend he was convinced he had to throw up for real.

The landing hadn't gone very subtly either, causing him to flex all his muscles as he pushed himself tightly against the back of his seat. When the plane started to slow down and a voice over the intercom reported they had arrived at Schiphol airport, he was finally able to somewhat relax again.

Severus couldn't get off the plane fast enough. They made it through the gates as swiftly as possible, and it wasn't until they had reached the baggage claim that his breath had been steadied.

'That wasn't so bad, was it?' he said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Lily looked at him as if she could not believe what she was hearing. 'You're joking, right? You nearly broke the bones in my hand to smithereens.'

Erwin gave Severus a pat on the shoulder. 'You're still alive and breathing and that's all that matters. We better go exchange some pounds into guilders before we head into Amsterdam.'

Severus leaned in to give Lily a kiss. 'I'm sorry.'

Lily put up a wide smile. 'It's fine, Sev. You're a bit of an idiot sometimes, but at least you're my idiot.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N "Sounds" was a music magazine (or technically a music newspaper) in the UK. It was published on a weekly basis from 1970 until 1991.
> 
> A/N When I had to fly to Edinburgh a couple of years ago for a college assignment, I had two classmates tagging along with me. One of them had never flown before. I basically modelled Severus's attitude after the things she said and did. (Poor girl. I really did have to carry her into the plane.)
> 
> A/N Guilders (or "guldens", in Dutch) was the currency used in The Netherlands before the introduction of the Euro back in 2002.
> 
> A/N *giggles in the distance* Hehe...Snape on a plane...


	169. Amsterdam, The Netherlands

The family had checked into the American Hotel, located on the outer circle of the old inner city. Petunia is particular was in awe about the hotel, as the interior was entirely decorated in the style of jugendstil.

To Severus, the best thing about staying in the American Hotel wasn't its convenient location or the elegance it radiated, but the fact that he had a room entirely to himself now that Vernon was no longer in the picture.

There was something very calming about staying in an unknown city. Here, the risk of running into anyone they knew from the magical world was practically reduced to zero. Even the crowded streets didn't bother Severus as much as it did in London.

On the evening of their arrival in Amsterdam they explored most of the inner city, admiring the iconic cornice houses. The foreign scent of bitter coffee, mixed with the still waters of the canals and whiffs of the plant that Frank liked to grow secretly in his private section of the greenhouses, had become a welcoming distraction now that the start of their sixth year was just around the corner.

On their first day, Petunia had dragged everyone into the Rijksmuseum. She wasted hours upon hours walking through the many halls, talking about all the paintings that she recognised and why they, according to her, were so fascinating.

Although Severus could appreciate all the hard work and talent that went into the creation of these paintings, he also had to admit that there was still something very dull about having to look images that didn't move or talk in their frames.

Petunia had ushered them into a room that was entirely dedicated to one single painting. Even Severus recognised it. It was Rembrandt's Night Watch, and the details on it were as impressive as its size.

Petunia couldn't help but rattle on and on about the painting. She even managed to catch the attention of several other tourists, and Severus couldn't help but wonder if Petunia may end up becoming a curator if being a full-time artist didn't pay the bills.

The following day, the family took on the challenge of travelling to the East side of the country by public transport. It was a hassle figuring out the easiest way to make it to Arnhem, but eventually after asking around they made it onto a train that led to Utrecht, where they were told they needed to transfer to another train that would lead them to their destination.

'Does The Netherlands have a royal family as well?' asked Lily after they all had found some available seats on the train.

'They do,' said Erwin. 'They currently have a queen on the throne. I believe her name is Juliana. She even lived in England for a while with her mother Wilhelmina during the war.'

'That's a pretty name, Juliana,' said Lily absent-mindedly as she looked out of the window. 'Anything we want to see in Arnhem before we go up to Otterlo?'

'I don't think we can afford to waste too much time in Arnhem,' said Erwin. 'Would've liked to see some of the bridges though.'

'You mean the bridges that your friends from the army saved?' asked Petunia.

'To the contrary,' Erwin explained. 'The RAF and the USAF were responsible for destroying many of them, as it was the only way to prevent the Germans from reclaiming their position.'

Throughout most of their journey to Arnhem the family stared out of the window, admiring the abnormally flat landscape (and the occasional windmill), as the train thundered across the tracks.

Arnhem was nothing short of beautiful. It was also the first place they encountered that was built on a hill, making the small city appear a bit more foreign compared to the rest of the country.

They couldn't find any buses to led up North to Otterlo, and instead managed to hail a taxi to bring them up there. They passed national park De Hoge Veluwe along the way. It was a bizarre sight to behold, as the park looked like a mixture of Dartmoor that was covered in dune sand, giving it the appearance of a small desert hidden in the middle of a forest.

The family was dropped off at the entrance of the Kröller-Müller museum, and entered the modern looking building as Petunia took the lead.

'These paintings are so brilliant,' said Lily after she managed to push herself upfront a group of tourists.

'One of the more fascinating Muggle things I've seen so far,' said Severus as he joined her. 'Which painting is this?'

Lily pointed at the English sign right beside the painting. 'It's the Cafe Terrace at Night. Looks like Van Gogh really liked his yellows and blues, didn't he?'

Sure, the painting was pretty, but the more paintings Severus saw made by Muggle artists, the more he hoped that he would discover at least one painting that would secretly move in its frame. 'To be honest, I'm still trying to figure out what the fascination is with all this art.'

'I suppose Petunia feels about art the way we feel about music,' said Lily with a shrug. 'She just expresses her emotions through imagery rather than through sound.'

'I suppose that makes sense,' said Severus, and pointed at the stars located above the cafe. 'It looks like they're twinkling, don't you think?'

'They do,' she said with a smile. 'You think magic's involved?'

'It appears to be so,' said Severus as he leaned in to take a closer look. 'Either that, or it is a very clever trick.'

Aside from the Cafe Terrace by Night, they also got to see plenty of portraits and self-portraits of Van Gogh, sketches, trees, landscapes, the famed sunflowers and the even more famous Starry Night Sky, which convinced Severus that the stars he painted were indeed shimmering with magic.

By the time they were certain they had seen absolutely everything, the family, and a rather teary-eyed Petunia, left the museum.

'I can't believe I just saw all that,' said Petunia, who kept walking backwards to take a good look at the museum before it disappeared from sight.

'Are you sure you don't want to be a curator instead?' asked Severus. 'I think you'd make a great one.'

'Thanks,' said Petunia shyly. 'Maybe I will some day. Who knows.'

…

On Thursday, the family had made the grave mistake of visiting Anne Frank's house early in the morning. A guide was teaching them all about the holocaust while standing in the very room that Anne Frank had hidden in for so long.

Lily stared out of the window, and had a good view of the chestnut tree outside that Anne had written about in her diary. 'I think this is a little hard on mum and dad,' she whispered to Severus.

From the corner of his eye he could see Erwin pacing around the room anxiously, while Arnica was standing as stiff as a board, pretending to listen to what the guide had to say.

Severus nodded in agreement. 'It must be hard to see your own war riddled history being turned into a tourist trap.'

All this talk of war brought Severus back to the day he had died. The war that had raged in the magical world had come close, very close, to that of the Muggle world, and yet the distance between the two worlds had been too large to overlap. He wondered, perhaps for the first time, had Lily's son's sacrifice indeed been able to see the memories he had given him, what had happened to the body he had left behind after he returned to nineteen seventy-five.

'Severus,' said Erwin suddenly, causing him to snap out of his trance, 'Lily, I think we can all go for some coffee.'

It was fortunate that the summer sun, mixed with a soft summer breeze, made everyone feel a little bit more at ease after everything they had seen inside the house, and the coffee they were served on a terrace caused them all to relax.

'Severus, I could tell that this is hitting you hard,' said Erwin as he lit a cigarette.

Severus shrugged. 'I could say the same about you.'

'There's a war on the rise on our world,' said Lily bitterly. 'Of course it makes you think about what could happen to people like Severus and me.'

'That's a thing I prefer not to think about at all,' said Arnica distantly.

'I'm sorry mum,' said Lily with tears in her eyes, 'but I'm afraid war is going to become a part of my life, just as much as it has been for you.'

…

Friday was the last full day the family got to spend in Amsterdam, and made the choice to spend it under a canopy of trees at the Vondelpark.

'What time do we fly back tomorrow again?' asked Petunia as she sprawled herself out in the grass.

'Around noon,' Erwin answered.

'Too bad. Wish we could've stayed longer.'

'Fair chance your acceptance letter into Oxford is lying on the doormat at home,' said Lily. 'Surely that's something to look forward too.'

'That's true,' said Petunia excitedly. 'Still, I'm going to miss this place. The city's beautiful, the country's history is filled with art, and the people are friendly as long as you don't stand still on their bike lanes.'

'Can't we take a boat back?' asked Severus as he leaned up against a tree. 'I'm afraid having to fly again will be the death of me.'

'I'm afraid having to fly again with you will be the death of me,' said Erwin sarcastically.

'Feel free to leave me behind. I'll find a way back.'

Erwin let out a snort. 'I don't think it's legal to abandon your children in another country,' he said, and passed Severus a cigarette. 'Feel free to smoke a whole pack before we board the plane.'

'Care to share?' asked Lily as she leaned against Severus's shoulder.

Severus lit the cigarette with a snap of his fingers, and passed it onto Lily. 'Sev,' she whispered into his ear. 'Got any plans for tonight?'

'Uhm...sleep so I don't have to worry about the journey back tomorrow.'

'That's not what I meant,' she mumbled under her breath. 'I've got a plan. Just make sure you're up, okay?'

'Got it,' said Severus, not having the faintest clue what kind of Gryffindor mischief had gotten into her. 'Could we possibly get in trouble for this?'

'Oh yes,' said Lily, and Severus didn't need to see her face to know that a twinkle had appeared in her eye. 'Very much so.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Het Rijksmuseum (the state museum) is the nation's largest museum where an enormous amount of art can be seen, including the works of Rembrandt, Vermeer, Hals, Potter and even some Van Goghs.
> 
> A/N Juliana van Oranje-Nassau was queen of The Netherlands until she abdicated in 1980, and left the throne to her daughter Beatrix.
> 
> A/N Helene Kröller-Müller was one of the first women in Europe to start a large (private) collection of art. The museum, named after her, is built on the estate she owned. She was one of the first people to acknowledge Van Gogh's talent, and collected close to 90 paintings and over a 180 drawings of him. If it wasn't for her, we may not know about Van Gogh's work in the way that we do today.
> 
> A/N It's commonly believed that Van Gogh ate yellow paint in an attempt to bring "happiness inside of him". This is actually a false statement. What he did do however (as revealed by his physician when he was institutionalised) was that he ate paint (no matter what colour) and drank turpentine in an attempt to kill himself.
> 
> A/N If you're a tourist and you're lost, we will not hesitate to come and help you out. If you step onto our bike lanes without looking, we will not hesitate to kick you in the shins and call you a twat. There is no in between.


	170. AC/DC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N smut!

Severus had been reading a book he had brought along for the trip in his hotel room, when he suddenly heard Lily banging on the door.

'Sev!' cried Lily from the other side. 'Sev, are you still awake?'

Still wondering what it was that Lily had been planning since this morning, he rushed up to the door and swung it open. There, he found Lily all dressed up and with a wide grin plastered across her face, bouncing happily on her feet.

'Still no clue?' asked Lily, and lowered her voice as if she was suddenly afraid to be overheard.

'No idea,' he said, slightly confused by Lily's sudden burst of energy.

'It's just that I managed to get my hands on something, and I would really, _really_ like it if we could go.'

'And what exactly, is it that you got your hands on?'

Proudly, Lily held up two tickets in the air for Severus to see. 'You remember that Paradiso place we passed when we walked up to the Rijksmuseum? Well, turns out AC/DC is playing tonight.'

Severus looked at the tickets Lily was holding up as if he could not believe what he was seeing. 'Do Erwin and Arnica know anything?' he asked.

Lily shot Severus an angry glare. 'Mum and dad may be tolerant about a lot of things, but I'm pretty sure sneaking off to a concert in a foreign country isn't one of those.'

Severus looked down the hallway where he knew Erwin and Arnica were sleeping. 'What about Petunia?'

'She knows, but she didn't want to go because AC/DC's not really her thing. She promised she won't tell though.'

'Are you sure they're asl—'

'—Oh come on, Sev!' she said as she dragged him through the door. 'Where is your sense of adventure.'

'I left it behind the moment I got sorted into Slytherin, and started applying common sense instead.'

Lily blinked seductively with her eyes. 'Must be so tough to be in love with a Gryffindor,' she said with pouting lips. 'But c'mon, Sev. The show's about to start and I really don't want to miss out on it.'

Severus knew if Erwin were to find out he was sneaking off with his daughter, it would be the end of him. On the other hand, seeing Lily nearly exploding with excitement wasn't something he could easily say no to. 'Where did you say the gig was again?'

'Just a short walk from here,' said Lily, and gave Severus just enough time to shut the door before dragging him to the staircase. 'We better get going.'

Lily had been right about it being just a short walk. Within three minutes they had stopped in front of what appeared to be an old church, and on the other side of the canal Severus could see lights coming from the Rijksmuseum. 'Who was the bass player again?' he asked.

'Mark Evans,' said Lily with a grin. 'Though not related I'm afraid. I'm more excited about seeing Angus Young play.'

Quickly the couple had their tickets checked and made their way inside. The place was already packed, and Severus ushered Lily to go up on the balcony to have a better view.

Lily was looking just as excited as she had when they went to see Motörhead on the day before they left for Amsterdam. She had her hands firmly clasped over the railing. Her back slightly arched as she leaned forward, and her red curls formed a curtain around her face.

Severus's mind flashed back to the moment they had spent by the riverbank. She appeared to be in the same state of ecstasy as she had then, and couldn't help but feel a sweet sensation stirring up inside of him.

'Is dat jouw vriendin?' asked a young man who was standing beside him suddenly, a beer swaying in his hand.

'Sorry,' said Severus as he snapped back to reality. 'I don't speak Dutch.'

'Is dat your girlfriend?' the man asked, and it was clear that the beer he was holding wasn't his first.

'Yes,' said Severus stiffly. 'Something the matter?'

The man held his arms in the air as if to say he wasn't planning on touching her. 'Just saying, dat girl, she's so...mooi.'

'Mooi?'

'Beautiful! Beautiful is de word I was looking for. She looks like de kind of girl you wood be willing to go down on one knee for.'

'I'm working on it.'

'Very well,' said the man, and bobbed his head in approval. 'You be good to her tonight,' and with a wink and a twirl on the balls of his feet he made his way back down and into the crowd.

Lily's cheering could be heard through the entire church as the band came on. Quickly Severus wrapped his arms around her middle, and pulled her tightly up against him. 'As it turns out, you are very _mooi_ ,' he whispered in her ear.

'What does that mean?'

'It means that you are very beautiful,' he said as he drew in his musky scent. 'Can I let you in on a little secret?'

'Do tell.'

'This band is going to become very big in the near future.'

Lily turned around and leaned against the railing. 'I didn't know you had the sight,' she said mockingly.

'Only a little bit,' said Severus with a grin, and leaned in to give her a kiss. 'I think this is one of the songs on the record I gave you.'

_She's got style that woman...'_

'It is,' said Lily with a nod.

_'Makes me smile that woman...'_

'Don't you want to enjoy the concert?'

_'She's got spunk that woman...'_

'I'd rather look at you.'

_'Funk that woman.'_

'You dragged me all the way to this concert, at the great risk of being caught by your parents, only to look at my—'

_'She's got speed my babe.'_

Severus didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. Lily leaned in and started kissing him violently. The touch of her tongue tasting sweet as it moved around on the inside of his mouth.

_'Got what I need my babe.'_

The concert lay forgotten as Lily continued her seductive game. She ran her hands through his hair as she started to plant kisses in his neck, causing him to grow weak in the knees.

_'She's got the ability...'_

He could see her nipples poking through her t-shirt, and he knew it was because she was desiring something more of him than gentle caressing. 'What do you want to do?' he asked.

_'To make a man out of me.'_

'I'm a bit torn between watching Angus Young fingering the fretboard or watching you fingering me.'

Severus allowed one hand to slide between the back of her knee and up the inside of her thigh. 'I can assure you bass players can go much deeper.'

Lily twirled one of her curls between her fingers and bit her lip. 'What you did to me that day by the riverbank. Could you do that to me again, tonight?'

The throbbing feeling in his lower abdomen started to grow painful. 'It'll be my pleasure,' he said in a low voice. 'Let's get out of here.'

Lily took Severus by the hand as she started pushing her way through the crowd. The cool night air felt welcoming after the steaming heat that lingered inside the old church.

'Are you absolutely sure you don't want to stay until the end?' asked Severus.

'If I have to believe your silly prediction then we'll have plenty of opportunities to see them live in the future,' said Lily.

The couple quickly made their way back to the hotel. Severus struggled to unlock the door to his room, but whether it was out of excitement or fear was still unknown to him.

Lily hurried her way in and flicked on the lights as Severus locked the door behind him. She didn't hesitate for a moment to take off her t-shirt, revealing that she hadn't been wearing a bra at all. 'Something the matter, Sev?' she asked as she sat down on the bed.

It was only in that moment that Severus realised he was standing frozen to his spot. Staring at her like a pervert from a darkened corner, admiring her from every angle. 'What is it that you want?' he asked firmly.

'For you to touch me.'

'And what is it that you really want?'

'For you to make love to me.'

Severus drew a deep breath, walked up to her and knelt down so they met at eye level. He started by pressing his lips between in collarbones. The tips of his fingers tracing the sides of her neck as he worked his way down.

With his tongue he made circular motions around one nipple, causing Lily to let out a stifled moan and spread her legs a little further apart.

'Take off your trousers,' Severus demanded.

Lily did as she was told. Quickly she unbuttoned her jeans, struggled awkwardly to take it off and tossed it aside.

Severus grabbed Lily's knickers in both hands and pulled it off, tossing it on top of the pile of clothes she had already donned on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her lower back and lowered his head.

He could nearly taste Lily's wetness until she suddenly used her foot to push him back. 'I want to see you naked too,' she said as she looked down on him.

'Fair enough,' said Severus, and stood up to make it easier for himself. He took off his shirt and, much to his relief, his jeans.

'Come closer,' said Lily, and placed her hands right above his waistline.

'Careful or I might poke your eye out.'

Lily let out a snort. 'Can I take off your underwear?'

'If you want to take a closer look at my manhood, I can assure you, it's not a pretty sight.'

'But can I see it?'

'Yes, you may.'

Lily pulled down his underwear and let out another snort.

'You are aware that it is really discouraging when a lady stares at a man's crotch and laugh at it.'

'That's not why I'm laughing,' Lily giggled. 'It's just...you could probably use that as a towel rack. Can I?'

'What? Use it as a towel rack?'

'No I mean, touch it.'

'Just know that if you do, I might lose my mind.'

Lily reached out to him, and it did feel as if his last remaining bit of sanity abandoned his body. 'Is there anything you'd like me to do for you?' she asked.

'Yes,' he said, determined not to let anything come in between this time. 'I need you to lay down on the bed and spread your legs.'

Lily turned around and sprawled herself out on the middle of the bed. 'Are you really sure about this, Sev?' she asked.

'No,' he said honestly. 'I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm terrified I'll end up doing something impeccably wrong.'

Severus kneeled on the bed in front of her, and rested one arm on her leg. With the tips of his fingers he caressed her stomach in the spots he knew brought her comfort. 'Are you not nervous?' he asked.

'A little bit,' she admitted. 'But I trust you. I know I have nothing to worry about.'

'But what if I hurt you?'

Lily smiled and shook her head. 'Sev. I'd hate to break it to you, but you're not Ron Jeremy. Any reason to worry only exists within your mind.'

'But what if I want to make love to you like Ron Jeremy does?'

'You already have,' said Lily with a smile. 'What I want is for _you_ to enjoy yourself for once.'

'I will,' said Severus with a nod, 'but I am going to pull a Ron Jeremy on you first.'

He lowered his head until he reached the fleshy bits between her legs again, and the moment he started using his tongue Lily arched her back in delight.

Wetting one finger, he plucked up the courage to feel inside her. Does that feel good?' he asked.

'Yes,' said Lily, and started breathing along to his rhythm. 'That feels good. Look at me.'

Severus looked into her shimmering eyes. 'What?'

'You have no blood left in your brain, do you?'

'No,' he said weakly. 'None at all.'

He ran his hands up over the bedsheets and pushed himself up so they came face to face. 'Are you sure you want to do this?'

'Are you sure?' asked Lily with a hint of concern.

'Yes,' he said with more determination than was believable. 'My problems have been buried at Wandsworth, and I'd like to keep them there.'

Lily grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him in to give him a kiss. 'I can feel your heart race.'

'I am going to disappoint you so badly.'

'You are not a disappointment, Sev.'

Glad to have made sure she was wet enough, he slowly entered her, feeling the heat of her body consume him.

Lily flinched, but begged him not to stop. Unsure of what to do next, he started making thrusting movement and felt his muscles tense.

Lily took a hold of his hair and looked him in the eye. 'This feels good,' she said. 'A little weird, but good.'

'I'm not going to be able to keep this up for long,' he admitted, and planted kisses in her neck. The mixture of her salty sweat with her musky scent was becoming unbearable.

'Too nervous?'

'Too excited.'

With a grin on her face and with a flick of her tongue she licked his earlobe, causing him to moan out loud. 'Please be careful,' he said as he involuntarily started to thrust harder, and could hear the bed starting to squeak.

'But what if I want you to cum?' she whispered into his ear.

Severus tore his eyes away from her face and looked down at her bouncing breasts. He took one nipple into his mouth and sucked it hard, causing Lily to dig her nails into the bed sheet and squeal out a high note. 'I'm sorry,' he said as he felt a wave of pressure build up inside of him.

With a few more thrusts that caused Lily to flinch a little bit, the pressure released itself in waves. All his muscles tensed up, and goosebumps formed on his skin as if all the sexual heat had suddenly left his body.

It took a while before he was able to steady his breath, and looked Lily in the eye. 'Are you okay?' he asked as he rubbed her belly.

'I'm more than fine,' said Lily blissfully.

'This is going to get messy.'

'Is it really that bad?'

'I'm afraid it is.'

Severus leaned on his knees and quickly pulled out. He could see the cum dripping out of her onto the bed sheet. 'We should go take a shower,' he suggested.

It took a moment before Severus was able to stand up, as his legs were still weakened from the impact.

'Oh ew,' said Lily as she ran her hand across her thigh. 'It's much stickier than I imagined.'

'Hence why we should go take a shower,' he said, and couldn't help but laugh while Lily was looking at her cum covered hands. 'It's always more than you think.'

Once the water had warmed up, he ushered Lily inside the shower cabin and used some soap to massage her shoulders. 'How do you feel?' he asked.

'Good,' she said. 'A little strange, but mostly good.'

'Strange?'

'Probably because something entered my body that has previously never entered my body before,' she said shyly. 'But I feel good. What about you?'

Severus let his hands slide down from her shoulders and wrapped his arms around her. 'Victorious,' he whispered.

'Can I stay with you tonight?'

'I was hoping you would.'

'I'll set the alarm. I'll make sure I'm back my room before mum and dad wake up.'

Once Lily was sure there was absolutely nothing sticky left on her body, they dried off and crawled into bed. She used Severus's arm as a pillow and locked one of her legs over his as she snuggled up against him. 'That was perfect, Sev,' she said with a yawn.

Severus kissed the top of her head and buried his nose in her hair. 'I hope we get to do this again soon.'

'I'm sure we will,' said Lily, already with her eyes closed. 'But I get to go on top.'

'Is that a promise?'

'That's a promise.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N On Friday the 20th of August, 1976 AC/DC did play at Paradiso for their Lock Up Your Daughters tour. Tickets were 5,- guilders at the time, which roughly converts to 1.80,- pounds.
> 
> AC/DC's had quite a few members since their start. Mark Evans was the bass player from '75 until '77. He was replaced by Cliff Williams who's still with them today.
> 
> Song mentioned: She's Got Balls from their High Voltage album.
> 
> A/N Paradiso is a former neo-roman church. In 1967 it was squatted by a group of hippies. About a year later it became the "Cosmic relaxation-centre Paradiso".
> 
> A/N To save my younger readers from a trauma of having to google up who Ron Jeremy is. He's a famous porn star who's been active since the early 70s. He's mostly famous for looking like a fat gorilla, his exceptional cunnilingus skills, and his nine-inch dick.


	171. The Morning After

Severus was rudely awakened by the sound of an alarm beeping loudly. He could feel Lily stirring as she searched for the button to switch the alarm off. 'I better head back to my room,' she whispered as she gave Severus a swift kiss on his cheek and hastily crawled out of bed. 'I'll see you in a bit.'

He watched her get dressed and sneak off on the tips of her toes. The memories of the night before were coming back to him like pieces of a puzzle falling back together, and left a permanent grin plastered across his face.

Unable to fall back asleep, he remained lingering in bed day-dreaming about last night's event. It felt surreal, almost. Nearly forty years he had lived without intimacy, and now he had been able to make love to the woman who had died by his own wrongdoings.

It felt like victory, and for several reasons. First because he had finally been able to please Lily in a way she had been wanting to for a long time. Second because his desire to share himself with Lily had, against all odds, become a reality. And at last, (and perhaps the most important reason) was that he had managed to overcome his fear of hurting her. He finally got to experience sex as something to be enjoyed, rather than as something to be feared. Perhaps, the problems he faced did get buried along with his father at Wandsworth prison.

After he had packed his belongings, he met the entire family in the cafe area of the hotel later. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary. Erwin and Arnica were greeting him in the same manner as they always did. Even Petunia didn't show any sign of knowing what he and Lily had been up to last night.

He gave Lily a kiss and sat down at the table. 'How are you feeling?' he mumbled to her.

'I'm good,' she said as she poured him some orange juice. 'You, however, seem to be a little tense.'

'Got to fly back to London in that Muggle trap don't I,' he said bitterly. 'I'm not looking forward to it.'

'Paul's waiting for you,' said Lily with a reassuring pat on his back. 'Surely you'd face that big scary plane to get back to him.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus stiffly. 'I do miss that little floor mop.'

...

Severus noticed that something had changed between him and Lily by the time they got on the train and headed for Schiphol airport. What exactly that was, however, he found difficult to name.

Lily was leaning up against him in the same way she had done so many times since they became a couple. And yet, somehow, it was as if yesterday's event had brought them just a little bit closer than before.

'Do I need to carry you into the plane again?' asked Erwin once they had reached the terminal.

'I'll be fine, thank you.'

'You don't look so fine.'

'At least I'm not losing my mind this time around.'

'Yet.'

'You're not helping in the slightest.'

'I'm going to miss this place,' said Petunia to break the conversation. 'Maybe I'll go back some day.'

'Maybe there's a way to go to school here for a semester,' Lily suggested.

Petunia shrugged. 'I still need to find out whether I got accepted into Oxford or not.'

A voice boomed over the intercom to notify the passengers it was time to board the plane.

Severus felt his palms starting to itch, but managed to keep himself from throwing a fit about having to fly again. The prospect of going home, and seeing Paul again, far outweighed the fact that flying in a metal contraption frightened him.

Severus sat down in his assigned seat and strapped the seatbelt tightly around his middle.

'It helps if you keep breathing, Sev,' said Lily as she sat down beside him. 'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

It was then that he noticed he had been holding his breath since the moment he entered the plane, and released the tension from his lungs. 'Little over half a year to go,' he said stiffly.

'Then what?'

'Then we can finally apparate and we'll never have to deal with any of these torture devices again.'

'Do you think you could apparate all the way from Cokeworth to Amsterdam?'

'It's worth a try,' he said, and snatched Lily by the hand the moment the plane started to taxi. 'Now that we've been here, we should be able to apparate the distance.'

Lily smiled. 'Planning another trip already I see.'

'There has to be moment we could go somewhere together where we are not surrounded by either friends, family or dementors.'

Lily squeezed his hand in reassurance. 'I'm afraid that'll have to wait for now. Next trip we have together is our field trip to the Isle of Skye.'

'Reminds me. Did we still need to get our permission slips signed?'

'Already done,' said Erwin from behind. 'How are you holding up Severus?'

'I comfort myself with the thought that this will be the very last time I will ever fly on an aeroplane.'

'We're going to have to fly on winged horses soon,' said Lily almost regretfully. 'Remember we do have to fly our way to the Isle.'

'Was it really necessary to bring this up now?' said Severus bitterly.

'Sorry,' Lily muttered, 'but maybe if it's really that difficult for you, you should reconsider going.'

'I am going no matter—'

Severus didn't get to chance to finish his sentence. The plane started to accelerate at rapid speed and was lifted off the ground in a matter of seconds.

Severus didn't dare open his eyes until Lily pointed out that there was now flying above the clouds. 'What was it you were saying again?' she asked.

'That I am going no matter what,' he answered. 'I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to collect rare potion ingredients, and get to see dragons if we're lucky.'

'Technically the dragons are the main reason we're going there,' said Lily. 'But you're right. Maybe we could collect some rare ingredients while we're at it.'

'There's something that I've been wanting to ask you,' said Severus, his voice growing more serious.

'Do ask.'

'Once we have a bit more privacy, if that's okay.'

Lily lowered his voice and whispered. 'Is it about last night?'

'Yes,' Severus whispered back.

A silence fell between them for a while. He plucked up the courage to look out of the window, and saw the sunlight dancing on the top of the clouds. Abnormal as it felt to be so high up in the air without magical support, he was learning to appreciate the beauty of being high above the world.

The appreciation however, cam abruptly to an end when the plane started to decline, and the sun disappeared as they lowered into the clouds.

Within ten minutes, the plane had lowered itself far enough for the airport to come into view. This time Severus was prepared for the blow that was about to come as soon as the plane landed, and felt an enormous wave of relieve wash over him that the nightmare of flying had finally ended.

'Well done Severus,' said Erwin once the plane had slowed down significantly, and gave him a pat on his shoulder. 'You deserve some ice cream.'

'That seems a little childish,' said Severus flatly, 'but I'm also not going to say no to that.'

Severus grabbed his backpack out of the overhead compartment and immediately dashed out of the aeroplane as soon as the doors were opened. 'It feels good to be home,' he said as he walked his way through the terminal.

Erwin bought everyone ice cream as they waited for their luggage, which fortunately didn't take too long to arrive. Within half an hour, they had made their way outside and found the old Morris and Severus's Triumph in the airport's parking lot.

They took out their helmets from the car's trunk and loaded it again with their trunks. 'We'll see you at home,' said Lily with a wave.

Erwin, Arnica and Petunia drove off, leaving Severus and Lily behind to ride back on the motorcycle. 'There was something you wanted to ask me in private,' said Lily as she put on her helmet.

'Yes I did,' said Severus as he positioned himself on his back. 'Since there's really no way to be subtle about it, I'll just be blunt. What if I accidentally got you pregnant last night?'

Lily's mouth fell open in surprise. 'Oh Sev. I am so, so sorry.'

'Sorry about what?'

'That I forgot to tell you. How inconsiderate of me.'

'Please speak up because you are starting to frighten me a little.'

'I've recently started to take pills.'

'Pills?' he asked with a tilted eye. 'What pills?'

'It's a Muggle thing. It works with hormones and such. It actually does a lot more than just prevent pregnancies.'

'With just one pill? How can you be so sure that even works?'

'Not just one,' said Lily as she wrapped her arms around him. 'I have to take one every day.'

'But are you sure it works?'

Lily rested her head against his shoulder. 'Does it sound more reassuring if I told you Emma uses it too?'

'Considering the fact that she's not pregnant and they've been going at it like rabbits, yes it does.'

'As long as I don't forget to take it every day, we have no reason to fear,' said Lily, as sat back up straight. 'Can I ask you something as well?'

'Of course,' said Severus, and give his bike a rough kick-start, causing the engine to start roaring.

'You don't regret what we did last night, do you?'

'Not at all,' Severus reassured her, and placed his hand on top of her hands that she had wrapped around him. 'To the contrary, I hope we have a chance to do it again soon.'

'I just want you to know that I'm very proud of you, Sev. You really pushed some boundaries within you last night.'

'Thank you,' he said, feeling the sincerely of her words touching him. 'Ready to go home?'

'Ready.'

…

Several hours later, the chimneys of Cokeworth's factories came into view. Severus parked the Triumph in the shed, but before going inside, he made his way across the street to retrieve Paul from Mrs Figg.

Paul came hurrying up to him the moment he set foot inside the house, and started making circles around his feet in order to greet him. 'Looks like he's grown a bit since I left,' said Severus as he went down on one knee to pet Paul.

'Only a little bit,' Mrs Figg reassured him. 'His sisters got adopted two days after you left and he's been a bit bored after since. It's a good thing you have returned. How was Amsterdam?'

'It was alright,' said Severus as he picked Paul of the ground. 'Lots of art. Lots of sceneries. Lots of people on bicycles trying to kill you if you're standing on their bike lanes.'

'So I've heard,' said Mrs Figg with a nod. 'Are you excited to be going back to Hogwarts soon?'

'Yes, and no. I've missed using magic more than I'd like to admit, but as you are probably aware of, the Ministry's involvement is not going to be without challenges.'

'Not matter what challenges you may have to face dear,' said Mrs Figg as she petted Paul, 'know that I'll be looking after your family while you're gone.'

Severus nodded and headed for the door. 'Thank you, for looking after Paul, and my family.'

'No trouble at all, dear. Have a good day!'

Paul was purring loudly in his arms as he headed his way back across the street. Once he opened the door however, a sudden explosion of sound hit him square in the face, causing Paul to jump and run his way up the stairs.

'I GOT INTO OXFORD!' Petunia yelled, and flung her arms around Severus, tears streaming down her face. 'Thank you.'

'Thank you for what?' he asked, still startled by Petunia's rare and sudden display of affection.

'For believing in me.'


	172. Return to Hogwarts

'So, they did name him Percy,' said Severus, looking pleased as he held up the card they had been sent. 'I'm glad to see Arthur took my advice.'

'You actually helped them pick out a name?' asked Lily in surprise.

'I did,' said Severus with a grin. 'Although I recall suggesting the name Percival. Turns out they just named him Percy.'

'Wish we could go and meet him,' said Lily sadly. 'Guess we'll have to wait until Christmas.'

'Are you ready Petunia?' asked Erwin from the hallway.

Petunia came dragging yet another suitcase into the hall. 'I think I am,' she said as she looked around. 'I'm ready.'

Severus, Lily and Arnica joined them in the hall. Arnica had the keys of the car already at hand. 'Then it's time to share your goodbyes for now,' she said.

'I'm going to miss you, Tuney,' said Lily emotionally as she pulled her sister into an embrace. 'Make sure you have a good time in Oxford.'

'I'll miss you too sis,' said Petunia, and gave Lily a kiss on her forehead after she pulled herself free from her embrace. 'Come here, Severus.'

Petunia pulled Severus into an embrace. 'I'm going to miss you too little brother. Thank you for everything.'

'That's what little brothers are for,' said Severus. 'You go study your own magic, while we go study ours.'

Erwin, Arnica and Petunia took a hold of her belongings and stepped outside. 'You two behave while we're gone,' said Erwin. 'I expect we'll be back before dinner.'

'You have my word,' said Severus, knowing exactly what Erwin was implying. 'We'll take care of dinner.'

The couple went back inside after the Morris had turned around a corner, and disappeared from sight.

'I'm so proud of Tuney,' said Lily after she lowered herself on the couch, and gently petted Leo on his head. 'I'm going to miss her.'

'I'm still glad that Vernon's no longer in the picture to ruin it for her,' said Severus.

'Is there anything we still need to do before we start packing our own bags?' asked Lily. 'We finished all of our homework, didn't we?'

'I know I have.'

'Want to make some music?'

'We should. I want to see if I can learn to play some Motörhead songs.'

…

The family hurried their way towards King's Cross station. Severus had wrapped Paul underneath his leather jacket, and Lily had done the same for Leo, but even then the sudden cloudburst could not protect them completely from getting wet.

Once they had made it passed the gate between platform nine and ten, they were able to take shelter underneath a canopy along with many other gathering family members.

Severus had no recollection of the weather being this bad at the start of his sixth year, and for a brief moment he wondered whether the absurd weather was caused by something magical rather than by natural occurrence. On the other hand, by the time sixth year came around he had started to care so little about everything, he certainly hadn't cared about the weather's condition either.

'I suspect everyone else has already boarded the train,' said Severus. 'We should probably head inside and find them.'

'Good luck this year you two,' said Arnica as she pulled both her children into a hug. 'Please write to us as soon as you can.'

'We'll be visiting the Weasleys soon,' said Erwin. 'If possible, I'll take a picture of Percy and send it to you.'

'Thanks dad,' said Lily, and gave her father a kiss on the cheek. 'See you again at Christmas.'

Erwin and Arnica exchanged their final goodbyes and ran off through the rain to make it back to the car. Severus and Lily took a hold of their luggage and boarded the train right away.

As expected, they found the rest of the group in the same carriage they had been in when they headed home at the start of the summer. Someone had already taken the liberty to place an Undetectable Extention charm on the compartment, causing ten people to be sitting comfortably in a space that was normally far too small.

Lily released Leo from her jacket and flung herself into the arms of her girlfriends, while Severus unzipped his leather jacket to release Paul, shook hands with everyone, and sat down beside Frank.

'How are you doing, Severus?' asked Frank as he greeted a very enthusiastic Paul, and from the tone of his voice it was clear that Tobias's death had no gone unnoticed.

'I'm alright, honestly,' said Severus with a nod, and pulled Paul back into his lap before he could start chasing after Leo. 'Never cared much for the man and I now live with a family that does want me around.'

'But still,' said Frank with a frown. 'Horrible man or not, he's still your father...'

'I can assure you,' said Severus sternly, 'his death closed more chapters for me than they opened. Have you managed to master the Patronus charm yet?'

'Yes I have,' said Frank proudly. 'I'm going to bring it up on our very first meeting with the Young Order.'

'I managed to master the spell as well,' said Evan from the other side of the compartment. 'We're going to need it, now that Hogwarts is being guarded by dementors.'

'Is that really true?' asked Mary sceptically. 'Wasn't Dumbledore trying to appeal against the Ministry for placing Dementors around the school?'

'He did, and he lost,' said Severus darkly, 'and I'm afraid Dementors will be the least of our concerns once we arrive.'

'What do you mean?' asked Alice.

'I think Remus will know the answer to that question.'

Remus, who hadn't said much since the train had started to ride, looked up angrily. 'We've got a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher this year, and her name is Dolores Jane Umbridge.'

'You mean the lady who was against financing the Wolfsbane Potion?' said Alice with a gasp. 'Just...how?'

'She was appointed by the Ministry,' Remus explained. 'Dumbledore told me about it in a letter expressing his concern for me. It's a good thing she's not in any position to expel me from school just because she knows I'm a werewolf.'

Severus knew better, of course. If Dolores Umbridge was going to be following the same path as she had during his first lifetime, she was going to be standing in Dumbledore's place before Christmas. He knew that meeting with the Young Order in secrecy was going to be more difficult with each passing week, and he knew that Remus's life will be made into a living hell. All things he could not expose to the group about her without raising eyebrows. The struggle to remain silent while knowing the truth about Umbridge's horror cut through him like a knife. 'Evan, have you seen Avery by any chance?' he asked to turn the conversation.

Evan shook his head. 'I haven't, but I propose we corner him the moment he enters our dorm room.'

'Mulciber went to that other school, didn't he?' asked Lily.

'He transferred to Durmstrang,' Severus confirmed. 'That leaves Avery to be the only person at Hogwarts that wants to join the Death Eaters that I know of.'

'You think we could somehow help him change his mind about that?' asked Evan.

'I doubt it,' said Severus with a sneer. 'Even with the use of powerful memory charms I doubt it. He has been influenced by the Dark Lord's reign and his family from the moment he was born.'

'So was I though,' said Regulus, 'and my brother as well, and we managed to escape from that.'

'As did I,' said Evan. 'I'm not saying we should invite him to the next Young Order meeting, but there's always a way.'

'I want to hear him out about my missing family's portrait first,' said Severus. 'I know for sure he and Mulciber stole it. I want to know what happened to it.'

'Is anyone up for a game?' said Potter suddenly. 'All that rain and talk on Dementors and Death Eaters is putting me in a bad mood.'

'I'm in,' said Lily enthusiastically, 'but we're going to need some snacks as well.'

'If everyone can chip in a bit, I'll go find some,' said Mary. 'Care to join Reggie?'

After everyone had handed Mary and Regulus some money, they left in order to find the lady with the trolley. Lily was chatting with Remus, who, probably for the first time since he started attending Hogwarts, was not looking forward to returning to school.

'Did you and Lily have some fun with my magical plants?' whispered Frank under his breath.

'We certainly did,' said Severus, unable to suppress a grin as he recalled the memory of Lily spreading her legs for him down by the riverbank. 'Thank you for that.'

'You two should tell us all about Amsterdam,' said Alice. 'I'm really curious if you found anything magical there. That, and I want to know how you got that adorable cat Severus.'

Lily started talking about Amsterdam, and Mary and Regulus returned a moment later with their arms loaded with Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, Cauldron Cakes and even a pot filled with tea. Potter pulled out a brand-new deck of Exploding Snap and started shuffling the cards.

For a moment, the heavy rain, Umbridge, Avery and even the Gaunt's Ring, lay temporarily forgotten.

…

The rain had somewhat subdued by the time the train pulled into Hogsmeade Train Station, but the skies were still a darkening grey.

'It's certainly a lot colder out here than back in London,' Evan stated.

'Well what d'you expect?' said Mary. 'It's Scotland after all.'

Severus put Paul on his shoulder as he took a hold of his trunk and bass case, and stepped outside to join the line for the carriages.

Lily followed closely behind him. 'I don't think this is a normal kind of cold,' she said under her breath. 'It feels the same as it did in Dartmoor.'

'It's mistier than usual too,' said Severus. 'There's got to be a few Dementors around here somewhere.'

'I don't like this at all,' said Lily, the tone of her voice betraying her fear.

'You have nothing to fear as long as I'm with you,' said Severus in an attempt to sound reassuring. 'We even have two people here who can perform a Patronus Charm in case we do need it.'

'Still,' said Lily with a shrug. 'It's not right to have these creatures patrolling the school. I got a feeling this school year is going to be a lot gloomier than the last one.'

'They may not be here forever,' said Severus. 'I think that carriage over there is still free.'

As if he had almost expected it to happen, the Thestral who had been following him around all year was looking him, once more, directly in the eye.

Severus walked up to the Thestral and started scratching her behind the ears. 'It's good to see you again,' he said. Paul was stretching out a paw in order to touch the Thestral out of curiosity, and Severus figured that Kneazles must be able to see them without having seen death.

'Same Thestral?' asked Lily as she stared straight through the creature.

'There's something very special about this girl,' said Severus. 'I got a feeling I'll be seeing more of her again this year'.

'Maybe you will learn to ride her before we go to the Isle of Skye,' said Lily, and felt around awkwardly until she found something solid to the touch.

'I hope so,' said Severus softly. 'She's the only winged horse I'd trust enough to fly with.'

Lily took a hold of Severus's hand and gave him a kiss. 'It's time to start a new year at Hogwarts,' she said. 'Are you ready?'


	173. Unbridgable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Some (altered) lines were used from The Order of the Phoenix. All rights reserved to Rowling, of course.

All the students started running up to the castle the moment the carriages stopped riding. The rain had transformed into a thunderstorm. Flashes of lightning travelled through the sky followed by low rumbles, causing Paul's hair to puff up even more than it already was.

Despite knowing how difficult this year was going to be, Severus couldn't help but feel a bit relieved to be back at Hogwarts after having spent so much time in the Muggle world. Even if that Muggle world was now a much better place to be.

The group made their way towards the Great Hall, and Severus caught a glimpse of professor McGonagall making her way out in search of the new first year students.

By tradition, everyone was forced to sit with their own house for the sorting ceremony. 'Lily,' said Severus before she was able to sit down at the Gryffindor table, 'make sure you listen very carefully to what Umbridge has to say. I'm pretty certain that she wants herself heard.'

'You think she's has anything meaningful to say?' she asked with a frown.

Severus looked over his shoulder at the teacher's table. The bubblegum pink robes sticking out painfully against the formal robes of the other teachers. 'She isn't just here to teach,' he whispered under his breath. 'She's still an employee of the ministry, and a powerful one, too.'

'I promise I'll keep my eyes and ears open,' said Lily with a nod, 'but protecting Remus from any of her poisonous spews will be my main priority for now.'

'As it should be.' Severus gave Lily a quick kiss and followed Evan to the Slytherin table on the other side of the hall, waving at Gilderoy at the Ravenclaw table along the way.

Avery strategically sat down between several girls on the other side of the table, but it was clear that he was looking sombre.

Severus looked at the teacher's table again, his eyes locking into Dumbledore's. He didn't need to perform Legilimency to bring his message across, as Dumbledore started using sign language to prevent Umbridge from understanding what he was doing.

'Meet me after class on Friday,' he signed.

'I will be there,' Severus signed back. 'Do you still have the ring?'

'Save and secure,' signed Dumbledore. 'As promised.'

Dumbledore broke eye-contact the moment Umbridge coughed to get his attention.

'Something about Friday?' asked Evan.

'I see you've been practising,' said Severus with approval. 'I'll be meeting with him on Friday after class, but for now our only concern lies with Avery.'

Professor McGonagall was carrying the sorting hat while leading a group of first years into the Great Hall.

The sorting hat started singing its usual unique song, emphasising the importance of all four houses working together to stand strong, but Severus wasn't listening. He only had eye for what Umbridge was whispering to Dumbledore, and once again he was glad his mother had taught him how to read lips. The only thing he managed to catch however, were expressions of concern regarding the Dementors, and whether or not everything had been going smoothly with the arrival of the new students.

The sorting hat had stopped singing, and professor McGonagall started call forth the new students. Severus looked around to see if he recognised any of them, but didn't see anyone of significance among them.

'Is that the Umbridge lady?' asked Emma suddenly, and by the look on her face it was clear she was rather repulsed by all the bubblegum pink she was wearing.

'The very one,' said Severus. 'Emma, we need to corner Avery once we're heading for the Slytherin dormitory. Could you help us out?'

'Of course,' Emma said with a grin. 'Anything in partic—'

Emma didn't get the chance to finish her question, as Dumbledore stood up and spoke.

'To our newcomers,' said Dumbledore in a ringing voice, 'welcome! To our old student – welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not. Tuck in!'

Rows upon rows of food appeared out of nowhere that caused the new students to gasp in amazement.

'I've been looking forward to eating this kidney pie since the end of last school year,' said Evan as he licked his lips in delight, and started digging into the plates of food right away.

Too focussed on what Umbridge would have to say, Severus nibbled on a piece of bacon, waiting patiently until the meal was over. On the other side of the Great Hall he could see Lily sandwiched between Remus and Potter. Potter was yapping on and on about something, but he was sitting too far away for Severus to have a clear view on what exactly he was talking about. Either way, he wished Potter would finally take a hint and would stop flirting with his girlfriend.

'Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start of start-of-term notices,' said Dumbledore. 'First-years ought to know that the Forbidden Forest on the grounds is exactly that - forbidden. Because of an unfortunate event last year, Dementors have been places around the school by order of the Ministry. I urge, each and every one of you, not to go near one. If you see any of the Dementors act suspiciously, please report it right away to a member of staff.'

'Onto a more positive note,' Dumbledore added. 'We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome professor Quirrell, who will be teaching Muggle Studies (Severus could see Lily nudging Potter in the ribs at the mention of Muggle Studies), and also professor Umbridge, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.'

The applause for professor Quirrell had certainly been louder than it had been for Umbridge. Mainly due to the fact that the majority of the Gryffindors refused to raise a hand for her.

'Tryouts for the house Quidditch teams will take place on the –' but Dumbledore was interrupted. Professor Umbridge had cleared her throat with her usual annoying ' _hem, hem_ ', and it was clear she was intending to make a speech.

Dumbledore put up a smile and bowed lightly, as if he desired nothing more than to listen to her talk.

'Thank you, Headmaster,' said professor Umbridge in her high-pitched girly voice, 'for these kind words of welcome. With another ' _hem hem_ ' she continued to speak. 'Well, it is very lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking up at me!'

Some of the students had started to whisper among each other, wondering why they were suddenly being addressed like a couple of five-year-olds.

'I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!' she continued. 'The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and hones by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the wizarding community must be passed down the generation lest we by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching.'

Severus wondered if Umbridge was going to be giving out the exact same speech as she had the first time around. So far everything she had said sounded familiar.

'Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation...'

It was indeed the exact same story. On the other side of the Great Hall he could see Lily listening attentively, but her glassy eyes betrayed that she was having a hard time trying to grasp what exactly it was that Umbridge was talking about. Sirius appeared to have fallen asleep, and Evan and Emma had started to have a sword-fight with their knives.

'...because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognised as errors of judgement. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited.'

Severus's eyes locked into Frank's. The last line of her speech was exactly what caused Lily's son's Defence group to get into a lot of trouble, and will cause trouble again if they're not careful.

On the other side, Remus had swallowed hard when she talked about recognising errors of judgement. The only reason he was still attending Hogwarts was because the Ministry did not hold the power yet to expel him, but for how long?

Umbridge had sat down again. The staff and a few students clapped out of sheer politeness, but it was clear that most of the students had no clue to what extend the Ministry was interfering, and going to interfere, with Hogwarts.

The sound of clattering and banging filled the Great Hall. Dumbledore had just dismissed everyone, and the prefects had jumped to their role to lead the new students to their dormitories.

With Paul following closely behind, Severus rushed up to the Gryffindor table. 'Lily, did you understand everything she said.'

'About half of it,' said Lily with a frown. 'It felt as if I was listening to a lot of empty words though. Did you understand any of it?'

'That we have to be very careful when and where we're meeting with the Young Order,' Severus mumbled under his breath. 'I don't think having secret Defence classes behind her back is something she would tolerate.'

'I'll notify the rest about that,' said Lily. 'You think Frank—'

'—I'm positive Frank understood,' said Severus quickly. 'I have to head back because Evan and Emma promised they'd help me corner Avery. I still want to know what they did to our lab and where Petunia's family portrait went.'

Lily gave him a quick kiss. Good luck with that. Tell me all about it tomorrow at breakfast.'

Lily followed the rest of the Gryffindors out of the Great Hall. Severus immediately turned around to track Avery among the crowd. He had already passed the Gryffindor table to make his way out, and Severus traced his steps into the Slytherin dungeons.

'You think he's going to the common room?' Evan whispered from behind.

'I think so,' Severus whispered back. 'Where's Emma?'

'Up ahead, ready to snatch him and drag him into our dormitory.'

'Perfect,' said Severus, glad that Emma had a strong sense of Slytherin cunning in her. 'Let's get him.'

As predicted, Avery did make his way inside the common room. Once he passed several of the dormitory's doors on his way to the seating area, he got suddenly snatched by a hand sticking out of the sixth-year dormitory, and pulled him inside.

Severus and Evan rushed inside and casted a quick spell to lock the door. Avery was whimpering as Emma held him pushed up against the wall, her elbow held close this his throat and his wand held tightly into her other hand. 'Let me go you filthy mudblood,' he spat, but Emma only pushed her elbow harder against his throat, causing him to gasp for air.

Severus whipped out his wand and held it straight against Avery's chest. 'Good to see you again, Avery,' he said darkly.

'I don't want to talk Snape,' said Avery with great difficulty.

Severus pushed the tip of his wand into the fabric of Avery's robes. 'I'm not giving you a choice Avery. I want to know what happened to my family's portrait.'

Evan had drawn his wand as well and pointed it straight at Avery's face. 'Speak up,' he demanded.

Avery knew he had lost. He was no match against Emma or without his wand. 'The painting's gone,' he said angrily.

'Go figure,' said Severus with a hint of boredom. 'Along with everything else I owned that was inside the lab you and Mulciber destroyed. Who did you take the painting to?'

'I sent it home,' said Avery quickly. 'By the time I got home however, my parents destroyed it.'

'Has the Dark Lord seen it?'

'Most likely,' said Avery, and it was clear that he was struggling hard with his conscience. 'That's something I can neither confirm nor deny.'

Severus knew Avery was speaking the truth. He didn't need to perform legilimency to know that, as most Death Eaters wanted to keep children away from getting too close and personal with the Dark Lord until they were of age.

For a moment there was silence aside from Avery's heavy breathing. Severus contemplated what he wanted to ask next, until something shimmering suddenly caught his eye.

A thin silver necklace was dangling from Avery's neck. A pendant was hanging from it in the shape of a triangle with a circle and a straight line in the middle. He had seen the symbol before, because it was the same symbol that had been carved in the stone that adorned the Gaunt's Ring. 'Where did you get that?' he asked as he reached out for the pendant.

'Don't touch that!' Avery snapped. 'It was a gift from Mulciber.'

'I've seen that symbol before,' said Severus, his eyes fixated on the necklace. 'What does it mean.'

For the first time a grin started to form on Avery's face. 'Sometimes I forget your more Muggle than magic Snape,' he said laughingly. 'This symbol is splattered all over history.'

'What does it mean!?' Severus asked angrily, and rammed his wand into Avery's stomach.

Avery sputtered to regain his breath, but hadn't lost the ugly grin on his face. 'You idiot, that's Grindelwald's mark.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Unbridgeable: Dictionary: A gap or divide between two sides in an argument so great that the two sides seem unlikely ever to agree.


	174. Your Name shall be Lilith

Paul was sitting near the end of his feet on the bed, keeping close watch as Severus started drifting off to sleep. Grindelwald's mark. The symbol and the name kept spinning around and around in his head. When they were on the train heading for London after their O.W.L. exams, he recalled Lily getting Dumbledore on a Chocolate Frog card and reading it out loud, mentioning Grindelwald in the process.

He knew Dumbledore and Grindelwald shared a history, though very minimal, as it all happened before his time. Grindelwald had been defeated, but not killed, back in nineteen forty-five. He was still locked up in the prison that he had once built himself, biding his time.

How the strange symbol related to Grindelwald, Avery and the ring was headache inducing. One thing he was certain of however, was that, once again, Dumbledore had not been entirely honest with him. Infuriating as it was, Severus knew any questions would have to wait until Friday.

…

The next day Severus woke up early for breakfast and rushed his way to the Great Hall. He turned to walk up to the teacher's table, and found his new schedule buried among the Slytherin schedules.

From the corner of his eye he saw that Frank and Alice had already arrived as well, and had taken their seats at the edge of the Gryffindor table.

Severus joined them and saw that they were bending over their own schedules. 'Today's Thursday,' Frank mumbled, 'so that means we're starting off with Care of Magical Creatures, and after that I got Trans—oh good morning Severus.'

'Good morning,' he said as he joined them on the other side of the table. 'Looks like we're all starting with Care of Magical Creatures today.'

'Not that many people signed up for the class after they got their OWLs,' said Alice. 'All four houses will be together this time. That's going to be interesting.'

'I'm more interested on how we're going to learn to fly a horse by next month,' said Severus. 'Not exactly something I'm looking forward to.'

'You will do just fine, Sev,' said Lily suddenly from behind him, and sat down with her own schedule in hand. 'Since these horses are magical you might trust the situation a bit more.'

Soon the rest of the group started to enter the Great Hall, and picking out their schedules from the pile on the teacher's table.

'We got Defence Against the Dark Arts together on Friday,' Lily pointed out. 'I wonder how professor Umbridge is going to be.'

'Probably more lifeless than a pickled Flubberwurm,' Severus grunted. 'Frank, any idea when we are going to have our next meeting with the Young Order?'

'I was hoping we could start on Sunday again if it doesn't clash with any quidditch schedules,' Frank answered.

'Good,' said Severus, 'because after your first Defence lesson you will understand why we're going to need your lessons more than anything.'

Frank looked down at his schedule. 'I don't have Defence until Monday,' he said with a frown. 'Reminds me, I bought the book you recommended to me when were were in Diagon Alley.'

'Any good?'

'Surprisingly, yes,' said Frank. 'I learned a lot about repelling Dementors, which is how Evan and I managed to master the Patronus Charm. And also a lot about the Unforgivables...'

'It can never hurt to know about them,' said Severus with a nod. 'The more you know about something, the easier it'll be to prepare yourself for it.'

Frank noticed that the teachers had started walking in, so he leaned forward and lowered his voice. 'You think we could learn to protect ourselves from the Imperius Curse?' he asked.

'I was hoping you would ask,' said Severus, lowering his voice as well. 'We've got to figure out a way to incorp—'

'—Hey Lily!' said Potter loudly, and slammed his schedule underneath her nose. 'I signed up for Muggle Studies.'

Lily, who had just poured herself a cup of tea, put up a smile only Severus recognised as a fake one. 'Good for you James,' she said with a nod.

'I signed up as well,' said Sirius proudly.

'As did I,' said Frank, and it was clear he understood the conversation about Unforgivable Curses would have to continue at a different time. 'And so did Alice.'

'I signed up as well,' said Evan, who had already started digging into the sausages that had just appeared on the table. 'Mostly for Emma though. She tried explaining to me how one of those fellytones work. Nearly yelled her ear off the first time I tried apparently.'

'I did too,' said Regulus as he joined the table with Mary. 'I'm guessing all purebloods in this group did.'

A part of Severus was very pleased to see that all the purebloods in the group had taken some action to learn about the Muggle world. It would mean they were all able to use different forms of communication whenever they were away from Hogwarts.

'Is everyone but Regulus going to Care of Magical Creatures after breakfast?' asked Mary.

Everyone at the table nodded. 'Can't wait to meet all the horses professor Kettleburn brought to the stables,' said Alice. 'There's got to be a whole lot of them since both sixth- and seventh-year students are going on that trip to Skye.'

'You'll be alright, Sev,' Lily whispered to him reassuringly. 'Most we'll do today is meet our assigned horse.'

When it was time to go to their first lesson of the day, all Severus could think about was how glad he was he was capable of both Apparition and unsupported flight. At least he had some sort of a safety net in case his assigned horse could sense his fear and buck him off.

'Psst Severus,' whispered Evan in his ear. 'Can I ask you something?'

'Sure,' said Severus stiffly. His eyes fixated on the stables up ahead. 'What is it?'

'Did you and Lily – you know – finally got some action after all this time?'

'How long have you been waiting to ask me that?' asked Severus, slightly amused by how adolescent it sounded.

'Since you told me you hadn't when we met at Diagon Alley,' said Evan with a grin. 'So, have you two finally had s—'

'—yes, we have,' said Severus quickly to cut him off. 'Once, in Amsterdam.'

Evan let out a snort. 'You sound to prude about it, Severus.'

'That because I am prude about it,' said Severus, his eyes following Lily who was walking a little further up ahead. 'I think she enjoyed herself though. So at least I got that going for me.'

'I'm proud of you my friend,' said Evan with a wide smile, and patted him on the back. 'You are officially a man now.'

'I don't think that's how it works,' he said, but could appreciate the gesture all the same. 'If I ever need some private time with Lily, I'll let you know.'

Evan winked and walked up to his girlfriend. Professor Kettleburn had everyone form a circle around the stables, causing some Porlocks to flee and hide in the haystacks.

'Good morning everyone!' said professor Kettleburn enthusiastically. 'Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. Today we're going to start off right away by introducing you to several species of winged horses. I hope you all brought Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them with you, as there is some information on these horses in the book.'

Everyone started to rummage through their bags in search of their books, and opened them up on the page about winged horses.

With a flick of his wand, professor Kettleburn opened up the door to the stables, causing several girls to gasp in awe. 'As you can see,' he continued, 'we've got several Abraxan horses, which are extremely powerful giant palominos. Then there's a large collection of Aethonan horses, which are all chestnut coloured and the most popular breed in Britain and Ireland. All the way in the back are some Granian horses. They are all grey and particularly fast.'

'Professor, is that a Hippogriff by any chance?' asked Sirius as he peeked inside the stable.

'Yes indeed, mister Black,' professor Kettleburn confirmed. 'We've got a few of those as well.'

Most of the students had pushed their way inside the stable to meet the horses, but Severus kept standing near the entrance. 'Do we already have a horse assigned by any chance, professor?' he asked.

'Not yet mister Snape,' said professor Kettleburn. 'I figured it was best if the horse chooses the wizard instead. That way it's easier to create a mutual bond.'

'Come on Sev,' said Lily as she suddenly took him by the hand, and dragged him inside the stable. 'I remember you loved spending time with the unicorns last year. This isn't all that different.'

Severus had to admit that, as long as they were standing firmly on the ground, the horses were indeed very magnificent creatures. Frank had already bonded with what appeared to be a very proud looking white Abraxan horse, while Remus had his eyes set on an Aethonan horse.

He looked around, but all the horses just appeared to be huff at him to moment he looked at them, as if they could somehow sense his underlying fear.

In the meantime, Lily also appeared to have connected with an Aethonan horse. 'Do they already have names professor?' asked Lily as professor Kettleburn walked up to her.

'They do,' he said. 'This one's name is Ernie. If you look here, you can see some parchment that's been charmed to the inside of their stall. It's got all the information about the horse you're looking at.'

'Hello Ernie,' said Lily as she gracefully petted him on his nose. 'It's really good meeting you.'

'I have to say I get a little jealous, watching you giving so much love to another creature,' said Severus with a smirk.

'Oh I'm sorry, Sev,' said Lily with pouting lips. 'Do you want to be petted on the nose as well?'

Severus planted a kiss on the top of her head. 'I think we should find ourselves a bit more of a private place one of these days, don't you think?'

'I'd love that,' Lily whispered. 'But for now, I really think that you should go try to find yourself a horse.'

Severus nodded in agreement, and reluctantly he started pacing around the stable again. Most of the horses had already been picked by now. He passed Sirius as he made his way back to the entrance, who had just managed to make the Hippogriff in front of him to bow.

He now had a clear view of the Forbidden Forest and a few Dementors further up ahead. He was no longer able to make a distinction between the trees that had burned down last year and the forest around it, and considered that to be a good sign.

A black shadow moved swiftly among the trees. First, he thought it was his imagination, but then he noticed Hagrid walking into the forest, followed by a whole group of Thestrals.

The thestrals. Of course they wouldn't be used for the trip to the Isle of Skye, as most students were unable to see them, and they were also often considered to be a sign of bad luck. Maybe, if he was lucky, the Thestral who had been following him since the beginning of his fifth year was among them.

'Hagrid,' he called out as she rushed his way up to the edge of the forest. 'Hagrid, are all the Thestrals there?'

'Oh 'ello Sev'rus,' said Hagrid with a wave. 'How are ye doing?'

'Quite alright,' said Severus. 'And you?'

'I'm doing good,' said Hagrid. 'Just lookin' after the Thestrals at the moment.'

Severus figured it wouldn't take long. The Thestral that had been following him came stepping out of the shadows and walked her way up to him.

'Special girl, that one,' said Hagrid. 'Very well trained but a bit o' a loner. Still hasn't accepted a single name I made up for her either.'

Severus wrapped his arms around the Thestral's neck, and felt himself calm down from the stress that the thought of having to fly had brought to him.

'Maybe you could ask professor Kettleburn if ye can ride her to Skye,' Hagrid added. 'I'm sure he wouldn't mind if ye show him you can tame her.'

'I think I will, actually,' said Severus without taking his eyes off the Thestral. 'You said she doesn't have a name yet?'

'She doesnt,' said Hagrid with a shrug. 'doesn't accept anything I come up with. She likes you though. Maybe ye can figure something out for her.'

'Aah Sev, there you are,' said Lily as she came running up to him. 'Hello Hagrid. Good to see you again.'

'Hello, miss Evans,' said Hagrid with a smile. 'Looks like yer boyfriend found himself a horse.'

'I should've known,' said Lily, looking at Severus hugging the air with a tilted eye. 'These two got a very special bond.'

'What if I named her after you?' Severus suggested. 'She still needs a pretty name.'

'I don't think that's a good idea,' Lily laughed. 'Every time you drop the name Lily I wouldn't know if you're talking about me or her. You'll think of something better.'

Lily talked briefly with Hagrid and made her way back to the stables again. Severus took another good look at the Thestral in front of him, and suddenly a name clicked in his head that seemed to suit her perfectly.

'Lilith,' he said. 'Your name shall be Lilith.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Lilith is a female storm demon who's presence dates back all the way to Mesopotamian (and Jewish) religion. She's often depicted with wings, and also as a red-headed goddess. Aside from that she's considered to be a "snake goddess", as she symbolises the snake who seduced Adam and Eve to eat from the forbidden fruit. John Collier made a beautiful painting (titled Lilith) of her depiction.
> 
> It seemed very fitting, as Severus first wanted to name the Thestral after Lily (from the red head bit), but also because of its relation to Slytherin and the demons that Thestrals are often portrayed as in the wizarding world.


	175. A Harsh Lesson

After Ancient Runes, Severus rushed his way up to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Not because he was particularly excited about having to face Umbridge from a student's point-of-view, but because he wanted to make sure he got to sit next to Remus in case she decided to start a lecture on Werewolves.

He found Remus leaning against the wall with his forehead near the classroom door. 'I don't want to go inside,' Remus mumbled without looking up. 'She'll find a reason to spit on me. I know she will.'

'If you keep victimising yourself like that, you will,' said Severus. He grabbed Remus by the shoulder and forced him to stand straight up. 'There's nothing she can do about your presence here, yet.'

' _Yet_ ,' Remus growled. 'We have her for class again next Wednesday. You know what that means?'

'Full moon,' said Severus stiffly. 'Are you still receiving your supplies from mister Mulpeper?'

Remus nodded. 'I am, but how long will it take before she starts to intercept my delivery owls? Then what?'

'Then professor Slughorn, Lily and I will get to work right away,' said Severus in a poor attempt to sound reassuring. 'Don't raise your voice, and don't answer any of her questions unless she asks you to. Keep yourself under the radar as much as possible for now.'

'Alright,' said Remus after he drew a deep breath. 'Let's do this.'

Together they took a seat near the back of the class. Lily and Potter strategically took their seats right in front of them in order to block them from view.

'I _tried_ to read this book _,'_ said Potter as he slammed his copy of Defensive Magical Theory on his desk. 'With an emphasis on tried. These theories are dryer than Sahara sand.'

Severus nodded in agreement and looked around the classroom. The classroom had changed a lot over the course of the past years, but he had never seen it decorated in so much pink and other frivolities before. There were several paintings of cats plastered all over the walls, and if you listened carefully you could hear some of them purr softly in their frames. Either way, the violent shades of pink alone was enough to induce a minor headache.

Professor Umbridge suddenly slammed the door of the classroom open and hurried her way to the front. 'Please, stand up!'

Some confused looks were shared among the students, and chairs scraped over the floor as they stood up. 'Very well,' said Umbridge with a pleased look on her face. 'Good afternoon class!'

'Good afternoon,' a few students mumbled back.

'Tut, tut,' said Professor Umbridge. 'That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply, "good afternoon, Professor Umbridge". One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!'

'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge,' everyone chanted back at her, and sat back down in their seats.

'There, now,' said Professor Umbridge sweetly. 'That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please.'

'This is ridiculous,' Potter whined. 'How are we supposed to learn to defend ourselves against the Dark Arts if—'

'—Could you shut it, Potter!' Severus sneered. 'This is really not the time for—'

'—Well, well,' Umbridge giggled, exposing her pointy teeth. 'Mister Snape. Our new – _celebrity_. Any particular reason why you are disrupting my class?'

Severus sat up straight and did everything in his might not to curl the corners of his lips. 'I was just telling Potter to shut it.'

'I was just telling Potter to shut it, _ma'am_ ,' Professor Umbridge repeated, and turned to the blackboard. From her handbag she extracted her own unusually short wand, and tapped on the blackboard with it.

_Defence Against the Dark Arts  
A Return to Basic Principles_

'Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?' stated Professor Umbridge, turning to face the class with her hands clasped neatly in front of her. 'The constant changing of teachers—'

Severus had already stopped listening. Not because he was incapable of focussing on what she had to say, but because of what she had said earlier. The last thing he wanted was to be considered a _celebrity_ in anyone's eyes, and with a pang he realised he had called Lily's son the exact same thing when he entered his classroom for the first time. A harsh self-reflection indeed.

He was drawn back to reality by a another tapping sound on the board. The first message had vanished and was replaced by the "Course Aims."

_Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic._

_Learning to recognise situations in which defensive magic can legally be used._

_Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use._

From the sound of scratching quills, Severus knew he was supposed to copy them down. By the time everyone had copied down Professor Umbridge's three course aims she asked, 'has everybody got a copy of _Defensive Magical Theory_ by Wilbert Slinkhard?'

There was a dull murmur of assent throughout the class.

'I think we'll try that again,' said Professor Umbridge. 'When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply, "yes, Professor Umbridge", or, "No, Professor Umbridge". So, has everyone got a copy of _Defensive Magical Theory_ by Wilbert Slinkhart?'

'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' everyone shouted out.

'Good,' said Professor Umbridge. 'I should like you to turn to page five and read "Chapter one, Basics for Beginners". There will be no need to talk.'

Severus had read the book before. Once when he had started to develop an obsession over the Dark Arts, and once more when Umbridge had placed it on the new school year's curriculum. And regretfully so, as Potter wasn't far off by how dry and dull Slinkhart's words were. Not to mention highly debatable.

Looking over Lily's shoulder, he noticed that she had started twirling her hair between fingers, while Potter had started jabbing his quill in between his fingers out of sheer boredom.

'Any particular reason you're interrupting the class with your quill tricks, mister...?' asked professor Umbridge sweetly, yet carrying a foul undertone in her voice.

'Potter,' said Potter stiffly. 'I already read some chapters. I feel no need to read it again.'

'I feel no need to read it again, _Professor Umbridge_ ,' she repeated.

Potter must have rolled with his eyes or something the like, because suddenly Professor Umbridge came stamping her way towards him. 'Do you think my lesson is a _joke,_ mister Potter?'

'I just don't understand why we're not going to do anything practical, _ma'am,_ ' said Potter with a sneer. 'There are dark forces out there ready to either overthrow the Ministry, or find a way to penetrate the walls of Hogwarts; and yet all we do is sit here and read?'

'I can assure you that the Dementors' protection around the school will suffice, mister Potter,' said Professor Umbridge. 'You-know-who's supporters are constantly being caught like flies in a web. It's only a matter of time when his rise to power will be cut short.'

Remus must've sighed a little too loudly, because Umbridge came flying up to him like a hawk. Her nostrils flaring in a way that would have made McGonagall proud. 'Something funny, mister Lupin?' she shrieked in a high pitch. 'I'd be very, very afraid if I were you.'

Remus swallowed hard, and sweat started to form above his eyebrows. 'And why is that, P-p-professor?' he stammered.

Professor Umbridge straightened her back, and smiled. 'You haven't exactly been secretive about being a werewolf, haven't you, mister Lupin,' she said loud enough for everyone to hear.

'I haven't indeed, ma'am,' Remus answered carefully, 'but I have come to the understanding that most people are not afraid, but merely curious about my condition.'

'Hem hem,' said Umbridge with a nod, and turned around to face the entire class. 'Is there anyone here willing to state a few things about his or her opinion on werewolves, please?'

Severus was subconsciously holding his breath, and looked around impatiently to see if anyone from the Slytherin's side was going to spout something out. His fear became a reality when Avery slowly raised his hand.

'Aah yes,' said Umbridge happily, 'mister...'

'Avery, ma'am,' said Avery politely. 'Lupin came out as a werewolf at the end of last year after Snape created the Wolfsbane Potion for him. Personally, I don't feel comfortable being in a classroom with him.'

Several of the Slytherins bobbed their heads in agreement. 'You just sort of start checking when the full moon's coming all the time,' Avery continued. 'The only reason he's still here is because of that _potion_ Snape made. But what if he accidentally forgets to take it one day, huh? Then what'll—'

'He's sitting right here you know!' said Lily angrily, and waved with her arm in Remus's direction. 'For more than five years you've shared classes with him. Not once has he ever let on that he wanted to harm you or anyone else on purpose. Why are you suddenly afraid now?'

You could hear a needle drop in the silence that fell. Severus could sense that Lily was going to get in trouble for this, and held his hand tightly wrapped around his wand that he held in his pocket.

Professor Umbridge was clearly amused by the escalating situation. She sat down in the chair behind her desk and rested her hand on her chin. 'Anything you'd like to add, mister Avery?'

'I'd just prefer it if he wasn't here,' said Avery with a shrug. 'That's all.'

Several Slytherins nodded in agreement again. Potter had clearly lost his patience, as he had drawn his wand and pointed it straight at Avery's face. 'I would prefer it if you weren't here either, _Avery_!' he snapped.

Avery looked at Potter's wand with an air of boredom. 'If you love him so much, why don't you just leave with him?' he said calmly. 'Why—'

'—Mister Potter!' Professor Umbridge yelled. 'Put your wand down immediately! Detention. After class right here with me. For the rest of the day. Understood?'

'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' Potter growled, tucked his wand back in his pocket, and rested his head on top of his book.

Professor Umbridge had drawn right back to her calm state. 'Anything you wish to say, mister Lupin?'

Remus bit his lip and remained silent. Severus could see he was fighting back the tears, knowing that the last thing he wanted was a heated debate about his condition.

'Just leave Remus be,' stated Lily boldly.

'Just leave mister Lupin be, ma'am,' repeated Professor Umbridge.

'There's no need to call me ma'am, _ma'am_ ,' Lily huffed. She slammed her fist against the table and rose to her feet.

'Detention after class, along with mister Potter,' said Professor Umbridge coldly. 'I will _not_ tolerate such behaviour in _my_ classroom.'

'Fine!' Lily yelled angrily, 'but don't expect me to be sitting here and read this any longer.' And just like that, she stomped her way to the entrance and slammed the door behind her.

Remus nearly cowered away underneath his table, but Professor Umbridge pretended not to notice. 'I want everybody to turn back to page five,' she said dully, 'and read the first chapter "Basics for Beginners" again.'

Only the sound of turning pages could be heard as the class started to read again. Potter must've been pretending, as he was leafing far too fast through the pages for him to take in any information.

Severus was sure Lily was still waiting outside, pacing around until the bell would finally ring. He now understood that keeping Remus under the radar was going to be damn near impossible. Umbridge wanted him out, and he knew she was going to find a way to make sure of it.

His mind wandered away from his book to Potter violently leafing through the pages. It was then that he realised that Potter had been trying to draw his attention. Potter was finger-spelling the same two words over and over again. "Y-O-U-N-G O-R-D-E-R" he signed. Potter understood that Umbridge was going to be their downfall if they didn't learn how to defend themselves properly. Frank's lessons were going to be more important than anything. Ever.

When the bell finally rang everyone let out a sigh of relief, and quickly tucked their books and quills into their bags. Remus was the first one to dash off, and Potter had grabbed Sirius by the wrist just in time before he was able to leave the classroom. 'Look after Moony,' he said. 'You know how much he can beat himself up over these things.'

Sirius nodded in understanding and ran after Remus, while Peter followed closely behind.

Severus and Lily met at the doorway. Her face had turned the same shade of red as her hair, and looked like she was about to implode. 'I'm not going to tolerate her for long,' she spat bitterly.

'You have to try,' said Severus, and massaged her shoulders in an attempt to loosen her up a bit. 'Even Dumbledore could not prevent her from coming here. That ought to give you an idea of how much power she already holds.'

Lily leaned against his chest, but was quickly drawn back due to Umbridge yelling that she didn't want such personal displays of affection around her classroom.

'Remember,' said Severus hastily, 'all you need to do is ask for Horton the house-elf if you want any dinner; as you're probably not going to get any tonight. I've got to go and meet Dumbledore.'

'I'll go annoy Potter with the sharp end of my quill to entertain myself,' she said with a wink, and walked back into the classroom.

Severus grinned. 'I wouldn't expect any better from you.'


	176. Treacle Fudge I

As much as Severus wanted to take time to philosophise about how to deal with Umbridge over the course of the next school year, any thoughts on that would have to wait. Dumbledore, the ring, and the mysterious symbol had to be prioritized.

He was rushing his way up to the seventh floor until he reached the stone gargoyle that led to Dumbledore's office. 'Sugar quill,' he mumbled; but the gargoyle didn't move, and with a pang he realised that Dumbledore had forgotten to give him the new password to his office.

'Cauldron Cake,' he mumbled as he paced back and forth. 'Peppermint Toads, Acid Pops, Ice Mice, Sherbet Lemon, Jelly Slugs, Treacle Fudge – aha!'

At the mention of "Treacle Fudge", the gargoyle stepped aside and revealed the passage to the spiral staircase up to Dumbledore's office.

'Should've known,' he mumbled to himself as he made his way up. 'Anything from Honeydukes would suffice as a password.'

He knocked loudly on the heavy oak wooden door. 'Can I come in, headmaster?'

'Please do come in, Severus,' Dumbledore said from the other side.

Severus pushed his way inside and saw that tea had already been served. Dumbledore had also placed a couple pieces of Treacle Fudge on a plate, ready to be eaten.

'How are you doing, Severus?' Dumbledore asked as Severus sat down in his usual seat, and helped himself to some tea.

Severus shrugged. 'I had an interesting summer, I suppose,' he said, and started listing things by counting on his fingers. 'Fought off a couple of Dementors. Met the Flamels. Bought a motorbike. Buried my father, visited Amsterdam and a couple of concerts. And somewhere in the midst of all that, we retrieved a magic ring and you left me to fight off the Dark Lord.'

Dumbledore eyes twinkled behind is half-moon spectacles, and took a sip of his tea. 'Nicolas and Perenelle told me that you and miss Evans met them by coincidence.'

'They're good people,' said Severus. His eyes wandered off to the Treacle Fudge, and realised that he was getting hungry. 'I didn't expect to encounter them in a place like Ottery St. Catchpole.'

'They most certainly are,' said Dumbledore with a nod, and shoved the plate of fudge in Severus's direction. 'Care to tell me what happened to you after you told me to leave Little Hangleton?'

'Bellatrix Black, or perhaps I should say Lestrange by now, caught me seconds after you disapparated,' Severus explained. 'Knowing that fleeing was futile, I allowed her to escort me inside the manor, and that is where I met the Dark Lord.'

Dumbledore was sitting on the edge of his seat, ready to hear more.

'There were some things we discussed,' Severus rattled on. 'He wanted to know how I ended up there, so I used the diary as an excuse. He revealed to me that it had been his intention to have it inside of Hogwarts all along, and so I let him on, believing that the diary is still safe and hidden inside the school.'

'And do you know why he wanted it to be at Hogwarts?' Dumbledore asked curiously.

'He said it was the safest place for it to be,' Severus answered. 'A thing that I asked him in return was why he and his Death Eaters came after the Thestrals last school year. He told me that he had been after one Thestral in particular, and I think I know which one it is.'

Dumbledore nodded in understanding. 'The Thestral that's been following you,' he said.

'That Thestral is now the horse that I'll be flying to the Isle of Skye with,' said Severus. 'I remembered you told me that the core of your wand is made of a single Thestral hair. Then he told me that he was after a particular Thestral, and so I came up with a theory.'

'Go on.'

'If Thestral hairs do indeed make for very powerful wands, then perhaps he's trying to reconstruct your wand with a hair that came from the very same horse. That is, if Thestrals live as long as I think I do?'

'Not much is known about the lifespan of Thestrals,' said Dumbledore thoughtfully. 'My wand, however, has been around for hundreds and hundreds of years, and it could very well be that the Thestral you speak of is a direct descendant to the one who's hair was used.'

'In that case we must protect the Thestrals that live in the forest at all cost,' said Severus. 'Do you have the ring in here somewhere?'

'The ring is with the diary in my desk's drawer,' said Dumbledore. 'But first, I would like to know what happened to your father.'

'I prefer not to talk about it.'

'I'm not asking you to retell the story of his tragic death,' said Dumbledore in a serious manner. 'For that I am already quite aware of. I just wish to know how you feel about not finding any answers regarding your mother.'

Severus looked down at his cup of tea. 'I will find the answers. Some day. But, Albus, there is something that I have wanted to ask you. It's quite personal.'

'Feel free to ask, Severus.'

Severus looked up and saw the light in Dumbledore's bright blue eyes dim; as if he somehow already understood the weight of what he was about to say. 'The symbol, on the ring. I know that it is Grindelwald's mark. I know that you defeated Grindelwald back in nineteen forty-five, but I also know that you share a history with him before that moment came.'

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, and lifted his glasses from his nose. 'How much do you know, exactly?' he asked gravely.

'Not that much,' said Severus, and put his teacup down on the desk. 'Just that you were friends before it all turned.'

The corner's of Dumbledore's lips curled into a sad smile. 'He was a student at Durmstrang, as you may know. Even though he was from Germany, he came to live with his aunt, Bathila Bagshot, for a while in Godric's Hollow. That is where I met him, because that is where I used to live.'

Severus's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Godric's Hollow. 'You used to live there?' he asked with a quiver in his voice.

'I see this place means something to you.'

A lump had started to form in his throat. 'It's the place where Lily died,' he said. 'A lot of bad things in my life seem to centre around a place I prefer to never go near again.'

The little bit of joy that was left onto Dumbledore's face had fallen. 'What happened there, Severus?'

'It's where the Dark Lord found her,' said Severus with a whimper, and felt rage boiling up from deep inside of him. ' _And her child, and –'_

'—This is the first time you're mentioning a child to me, Severus,' Dumbledore interrupted. 'How come?'

'It wasn't mine, if you're wondering,' Severus sneered. 'She died. Her _husband_ died. But the bloody child didn't.'

'Severus, what exactly—'

'—I prefer not to talk about this.'

'This is some very vital information you're suddenly giving me, Severus. How come you've been keeping this—'

'—As if you're not keeping things from me,' Severus snapped back. 'You and I both know that Grindelwald's mark is carved into the stone on that ring. We both saw it when we retrieved it from the Gaunt's shack, and you said nothing Albus! Once again, you're only telling me half the story. You're—'

Severus cut himself off mid-sentence. Dumbledore had slummed down in his chair. His blue eyes had turned to grey, and tears started to leak down to the tip of his long crooked nose.

'Just like you, Severus,' said Dumbledore in a hoarse voice, 'I've had a rough beginning, and I found comfort, in the leadership and power of someone else. I had put my faith in Grindelwald for far, far too long, before I started to understand the damage that I was causing to everyone around me, and to myself. Just like you, Severus, when you followed Voldemort.'

There was something humble, and yet at the same time disheartening, to see the strong wise man that everyone looked up to appear so small. 'There is a difference though,' said Severus softly. 'You managed to turn your back on him and defeat him. I had to lose the only person I ever cared for to understand my wrongdoings.'

Dumbledore conjured a silken handkerchief from the tip of his wand, wiped the tears off his nose, and chuckled. 'Perhaps someday you'll understand that you and I are not so different from one another. Have some fudge, Severus. It's got chocolate in it.'

Severus helped himself to a piece, and felt the chocolate soothing him as it filled his stomach. 'I'm glad these aren't Hagrid's,' he said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Dumbledore laughed. 'I cannot disagree with you on that,' he said, the liveliness returning to his voice. 'But please, Severus, how come you never told me about this child before?'

Severus looked up and sighed, looking for the right words to say. 'A prophecy was made,' he said eventually. 'I had graduated from Hogwarts only a few years prior. I was low on the Dark Lord's ranks considering my half-blood status and positioned myself as a spy. I was here, in Hogsmeade, when I overheard it.'

'And what was it about?'

'You need to understand that Lily and I were no longer speaking to each other since the end of fifth year,' he added bitterly. 'The prophecy that was made that day stated that the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. That he was born to those who trice defied him as the seventh month dies. The Dark Lord were to mark him as an equal, but the child would have powers that the Dark Lord knew not. One had to die at the hand the another for neither can live while the other survives...'

It was a heavy load, recalling the memory of the prophecy. 'I reported to the Dark Lord straight away, not knowing what the cost of that would be. I did not know that the prophecy was about her son. When I found out I pleaded, and begged him, to spare her.'

'You pleaded to keep her alive, but not her son?'

'The prophecy clearly stated that neither can live while the other survives, Albus,' Severus snapped. 'There was nothing I could have done for the boy. He was doomed from the start.'

'And what about the boy's father? Why not ask to spare his life?'

Severus rubbed his eyes. 'The boy's father – the boy, this is a very selfish and moral battle that I've fought within me. The boy's father was – is Potter.'

A spark had returned in Dumbledore's eyes. 'You and mister Potter have never quite gotten along, haven't you?'

'Lily fell in love with him during our last year at Hogwarts,' said Severus sourly. 'Why, is still unknown to me to this very day.'

'Are you afraid she might grow to like him once more this time around?'

'Every day.'

Severus tried hard to fight back the tears. 'The reason the Dark Lord killed her is because she refused to step aside as she was trying to protect her son. Then, something happened that changed everything. The Killing Curse, as you explained it to me, rebounded the moment he tried to kill him. It killed the Dark Lord, or at least a part of him, instead.'

'Remarkable indeed,' said Dumbledore curiously. 'Very remarkable.'

'Either way, her son became The Nuisance Who Lived. Famous for being the only person who has ever survived the Killing Curse, and he didn't even remember it happening.'

'And then what happened?'

'He became famous and orphaned in the span of a few hours,' Severus added quickly. 'He went on to live with his Muggle aunt, away from the magical world until he was old enough to come to Hogwarts. The only thing separating him from the looks of his father was a large ugly scar on his forehead.'

'It appears you and this boy have a lot in common,' said Dumbledore. 'Both orphaned. Both famous for reasons you rather weren't.'

'Both half-bloods,' Severus added. 'Not to mention that my new wand once belonged to him.'

Dumbledore looked Severus deep in the eye. 'You know exactly what I'm thinking right now, don't you.'

'That I am slowly starting to take his place.'

'Do you fear that another prophecy may be coming our way?'

The thought of another prophecy coming to life, knowing that it could very well revolve around him, casted a dark shadow over his heart. 'There may very well be, I'm afraid. When I overheard the prophecy back then, it was because I was initially spying on you. You were holding a job interview with someone who claimed to have The Sight, and wanted a position as a Divination teacher at Hogwarts. As it turned out, she wasn't lying about her gift.'

'Do you remember her name, by any chance?'

'Sybill Trelawney. She taught Divination for quite a few years at Hogwarts. I assumed you hired her after she made that prophecy.'

Dumbledore started stroking his beard. 'I remember miss Trelawney. She was a student here not too long ago. Very into the colourful Muggle fashion of this time. Very clumsy, too.'

Recalling all the colourful scarves, flowing dresses and miles of beads around her neck, Severus figured Trelawney might have grown a little stuck in her youthful time period.

'Severus, is there anything else that I need to know about before we go take a look at the ring?'

'The Dark Lord was resurrected when Lily's son was nearing the end of his forth year. It meant that he had not been defeated entirely. It meant he had found a way to make himself immortal.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N It is technically unknown where Grindelwald originally came from, but it was most likely somewhere in central Europe. I chose for him to be German because of his German sounding last name, and for other reasons that are yet to come.  
> A/N ^ We now know that Nurmengard is located in Austria. Whether Grindelwald is therefore also Austrian is still unknown.


	177. Treacle Fudge II

Dumbledore rummaged around in the desk's drawer, and pulled out the destroyed diary, along with the ring that was still neatly tied up in a handkerchief.

'Have you looked at it, when you came back here?' Severus asked.

Dumbledore shook his head. 'I must admit I have been tempted to do so, but no, I have waited for your return to school.'

Severus eyed the handkerchief that was lying on top of the diary. 'Need me to untie it?'

'It would be best if you were the one to do it,' said Dumbledore, and shoved the diary in Severus's direction.

Severus carefully touched the tied-up handkerchief with the tips of his fingers, and fumbled around to untie it. 'Keep your wand ready, just in case.'

Dumbledore pulled out his wand from robe's pocket, and held it loosely in his hand. The wand immediately started to turn its way to the ring, as if it were somehow calling to it.

The wand pointed and stopped the moment the ring was revealed. The chunky gold of the band still looked rather cheaply made compared to the stone.

'What do you suggest we do with the ring, Severus?' asked Dumbledore.

'I say it ought to be destroyed, like the diary.'

'And how do you suggest we do that?'

Severus took the handkerchief and carefully lifted the ring until he held it up at eye-level. 'It's defiled with dark magic. I can sense it.'

'You told me this ring is the reason I died, Severus.'

'I was able to help you just in time,' said Severus as he held the stone in the sunlight. 'Or perhaps I should say I was a little too late. I was able to contain the curse from spreading out, but only for a little while.'

Dumbledore looked lost for words. At first Severus thought that he was looking at him, but after a moment he realised that Dumbledore had his eyes locked onto the ring. 'Albus, what is it that draws you to this ring?' he asked sharply.

'I wish to research the ring, before we figure out a way to destroy it,' said Dumbledore in a hollow voice.

'I don't think that's a good idea,' said Severus, and held the ring closer so Dumbledore wouldn't be able to reach it.

It looked almost like an involuntary movement as Dumbledore leaned forward to get closer to the ring. 'Just for a little while, Severus,' he pleaded.

'Lily's son had to sacrifice himself in an attempt to save the wizarding world!' said Severus angrily. 'You told me that a part of the Dark Lord lived inside him. He had to die. He—'

In a swift motion Dumbledore had tried to snatch the ring out of Severus's hand. He had been able to lean back just in time, as otherwise Dumbledore would've touched the ring with his bare hands.

Severus understood right away that something wasn't right, and saw a dark fire burning in Dumbledore's eyes that made him look like he was on the brink of insanity. Quickly he rose from his chair and walked up to a shadowed corner of the room. 'This ring holds a power over you unlike anything I've seen before,' he said darkly.

Dumbledore turned his emotionless gaze at Severus, and merely nodded. 'The ring belongs to me, Severus,' he said in the same hollow voice. 'All you need to do is hand it to me, and we can go our separate ways.'

'How did you destroy it the first time?' Severus snapped angrily. 'How? Tell me!'

'You're just like your father when you lose control,' said Dumbledore in a nonchalant fashion.

Severus knew that the ring was influencing Dumbledore's behaviour, and yet he couldn't help but feel a sting in his chest at being compared to his father. 'How did you destroy this thing?' he asked while trying to control his anger. 'How?'

The blue in Dumbledore's eyes had faded. 'Even if I knew, _boy_ , why should I tell you?'

Then, it hit him. Severus wasn't speaking to Dumbledore any more. He was speaking to the Dark Lord. 'My Lord,' he said softly, 'could you, please, tell me why this ring is so important to you?'

'Because it belongs to me,' said Dumbledore quietly. 'It is a family heirloom, after all.'

Severus quickly fumbled around in his pocket, only to find that his wand was suddenly gone.

Dumbledore laughed in a high pitch. 'You think you're so clever, Severus,' he said as he held both wands up, and pointed them at Severus's chest. 'So trusting of the old man, you didn't even think about securing your own wand.'

Being able to perform wandless magic or not, the last thing he wanted was to harm Dumbledore because he was taken over by the Dark Lord's spirit. 'I understand this ring belongs to you,' he said in order to keep the conversation going. 'But what do you need it for? It's just a ring after all.'

Dumbledore shook his head and stood up from the table, both wands ready at hand. 'The ring is a part of me, as much as I am part of that ring.'

'You mean in the same way you were a part of that diary?' asked Severus, and stepped sideways as a non-verbal spell was shot at him. 'How is that possible?'

Dumbledore started laughing the same cold laugh again. 'And why should I tell you, _boy_?'

Severus slumped down to the ground right before another curse was fired at him, which bounced back against the wall and caused Fawkes and several portraits to screech out in horror.

Slowly, Severus started to make his way to the door. Several ideas shot through his head. The first one was to run off and find Professor McGonagall as soon as possible. Another idea was to gather all of his courage and jump out of the window, carrying himself to the ground by using unsupported flight. The third option was to use wandless magic in an attempt to get his own wand back. He chose the latter.

He concentrated hard on his own wand in the hope that it would come to him if he tried hard enough. 'How do I destroy the ring, _Tom_?' he yelled, and he knew the damage was done.

Dumbledore's eyes clouded red in fury. 'CRUCIO!' he yelled, which Severus managed to deflect by the use of his shield. Several silver instruments shattered across the floor, causing the whole room to shimmer in the sunlight.

His wand was held too tightly into Dumbledore's hand to escape, and so he had to come up with a different plan. What he really needed was a weapon, and—'

Severus could feel his heart pounding in his throat, his eyes never leaving the man standing opposite of him. 'Where's the sword?' he demanded to know. 'Where is it? Tell me!'

'What sword are you talking about?' yelled Dumbledore, and started to circle around the room, both wands still pointing at Severus's chest.

The sword had presented itself to Lily when they were fighting against the Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets. The sword had presented itself, again, when Dumbledore used it to knight him into the Order of Merlin. Maybe, if his theory was correct, he should be able to pull the sword out of the hat.

Severus narrowly avoided a blasting curse from Dumbledore's end, and managed to get a hold of the sorting hat by pulling it from the shelves it was resting on.

Another curse was casted his way, and this time Severus felt an invisible whip slashing him on the back. The ring fell on the floor with a heavy thud as he dropped to his knees from the pain. 'Don't touch it!' he shrieked.

'I know not to. Not in this body,' said Dumbledore as he dived to the floor, and yanked the handkerchief out of Severus's hand.

With a swift motion, Severus pulled out the sword from the hat and held it up in front of Dumbledore's face.

'You think some silly sword could stop me?' Dumbledore howled, and leaned forward so the tip of the sword was held against his throat. 'Do it.'

The ring was lying on the floor between them, only inches within reach. With Dumbledore having the handkerchief, there was nothing Severus could do to pick it up.

From the corner of his eye he could see the diary still resting on the desk, and he knew there was only one thing left to do. He lowered the sword from Dumbledore's throat, and with a swift wing he used the sharp edge to split the ring in half.

The sword came down with a loud clank against the stone floor. A scream, worse than the scream of a Banshee came out of the ring as it shattered, causing Severus and Dumbledore to cover their ears for protection.

It was over as soon as it had begun. Dumbledore had dropped both wands on the floor. The red that clouded his eyes was fading back to his regular blue. 'What happened?' he asked weakly.

It wasn't until now that Severus realised he had been holding his breath all along, and released all tension from his lungs. 'The ring possessed you, somehow.'

'How? How is that—'

'—It took control of you because you wanted it so badly,' said Severus confidently. 'You attacked me.'

Dumbledore looked down at the two wands he had dropped, and shook his head in disbelief. 'I am so, so sorry Severus,' he said, his lip trembling from regret.

'Don't be, please,' said Severus as he reached for his wand. 'The ring's been destroyed. It's over.'

'Please forgive me for my weakness,' said Dumbledore as he struggled to push himself up from the floor, appearing much older than before, and slummed down in the chair behind his desk.

Severus took the risk of touching the broken pieces of the ring. Once he was sure he had collected every piece, he placed them on the desk. 'You are not weak, Albus. You are, by far, the greatest wizard I have ever met.'

'And yet I cannot resist temptation in the way you do, said Dumbledore sadly. 'I should have been able to see this coming. I should—'

Severus placed the sword of Gryffindor right beside the broken pieces. '—I know what temptation is, Albus. I have made many mistakes. The only difference is that I have made them before.'

Dumbledore did not respond, and instead he looked down at his hands that were resting on the desk. 'You used the sword to destroy it, it seems.'

'How come I was able to pull the sword out of the hat, if I may ask?'

'Knighting you into the Order of Merlin with it, is probably the smartest thing I could've done.'

'Does that make me a Gryffindor now?'

Dumbledore chucked despite the circumstances, and looked up into Severus's eyes. 'Do you want to be?'

'You once told me that you believed the sorting happens too soon.'

'I do believe so, indeed.'

'I don't believe I belong in Gryffindor.'

Dumbledore smiled. 'I don't believe you do, either. But you are brave, Severus. And that's all it takes.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I wanted Severus to be the one to destroy the ring on purpose. Mainly because the ring became the reason he ended up having to kill Dumbledore, and also because he supposedly represents the second brother.


	178. Retrieving Goods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Smut

'That took you a while,' said Lily as she suddenly appeared at the bottom of the spiral staircase. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm okay,' said Severus, even though he could sense that his hands were still shaking lightly from the impact of the Sword.

'You don't look okay,' said Lily with a frown. 'You're all sweaty and—'

'I said I'm okay,' Severus snapped, and realised his mistake right away. 'Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so rude.'

Lily curled the corners of her lips and gave him a kiss. 'It's alright. Care to tell me what happened?'

'In a more private setting, if possible.'

'That's actually why I was waiting for you,' said Lily as she took the lead. 'I nearly forgot we hid our supply of rare potions in the Room of Requirement. I wanted to ask if you wanted to go and retrieve it with me.'

The Room of Requirement was indeed the best place if he wanted to prevent being overheard. He followed closely behind Lily until they had reached the wall. Lily paced around a few times muttering that they needed to get into the place where everything was hidden, while Severus stood on the look-out to make sure no one saw them sneaking in.

'Let's go, Sev,' said Lily, and took him by the hand to drag him inside. 'Feels good to be back here.'

The piles upon piles of furniture, desks, books and other abandoned school supplies were still standing exactly how Severus remembered it.

'I think it was this way,' said Lily, and started walking through the maze of old belongings.

Severus followed her, but slowed his pace the moment he realised where they had hidden it. He would be seeing the Mirror of Erised again, and with it, his mother. 'I'm not sure if I want to go and retrieve it,' he called out. 'You go and get it.'

Lily let go of his hand and turned around. 'Don't you want to see your mother, Sev?'

'Can we talk first, please?'

'Sure.'

'Remember I told you about the ring Dumbledore and I retrieved in Little Hangleton this past summer?'

'Yes, I remember quite clearly how you came home all warn out and covered in scratches and bite marks,' said Lily sceptically.

'Dumbledore and I just figured out a way to destroy the ring, so we did.'

'But that is good news, isn't it?'

'I'm certainly glad we managed to get rid of it,' said Severus with a nod. 'The ring, however, wasn't the most important part.'

'Then what is?' asked Lily curiously.

'A symbol,' said Severus. 'Have you seen what Avery has been wearing around his neck since he returned to Hogwarts?'

'Not really, but that's because he's the last person I even want to bother setting my eyes on.'

Severus held his fingers up in the shape of a triangle. 'It's a symbol. Within the triangle there is a circle, broken up by a line through the middle. Avery was wearing it as a pendant, and it was also engraved into the stone that adorned the ring. From what I learnt it's Grindelwald's mark.'

'Grindelwald's mark?' said Lily with a raised eyebrow. 'I thought he was imprisoned a long time ago.'

'He was...and still is,' Severus explained, 'which is why it's so curious that suddenly his symbol is appearing again in different places.'

'Have you asked Avery why he's wearing the pendant?'

'When Emma and Evan helped me to interrogate him, he told me that he got the pendant from Mulciber. Whom, as you may know, is now attending Durmstrang.'

'That's where Grindelwald went to school, right?'

'He did. The school's quite infamous for favouring the Dark Arts so it's no surprise that the symbol still lingers there. Avery ran off after he told us it was Grindelwald's mark. I suppose I could either perform Legilimency on him or use a truth serum, but it's hard since he's been systematically avoiding me.'

'Is the symbol just a symbol, or does it mean something specific?'

Severus shook his head. 'I don't know, but it has to mean something because otherwise it wouldn't be so important.'

'Have you asked Dumbledore what it means?' asked Lily.

'I haven't,' said Severus. 'We needed to focus on destroying the ring first. We should probably go and retrieve our potions.'

'Are you sure? You might get to see Eileen again.'

'I'm still not sure if I want to, but we got to go get our supplies in case we ever need them.'

Together they continued walking through the maze of abandoned possessions until they had reached the mirror. 'Found it!' said Lily excitedly.

A wide smile appeared on Lily's face as she looked into the mirror. 'You already know what I'm seeing,' she said as she looked up at Severus. 'Maybe someday...'

'Some day,' said Severus, and took a step closer so he, too, was standing in front of the mirror. 'When we're no longer in school and there's no war raging on the outside.'

'Do you still see Eileen when you look in the mirror?' Lily asked.

Severus took Lily by the hand. 'I do,' he said as he saw his mother materialise in the mirror, 'and I think she likes what she's seeing.'

Lily squeezed his hand and planted a kiss on his cheek. 'I'll go get the box.'

Severus remained standing in front of the mirror. Eileen was still smiling and bobbing her head in approval. He remembered how she had wanted to see them together, and the sting of her never knowing about their relationship felt harsh.

'Got the box,' said Lily as she reappeared from behind the mirror.

'Where do you plan on keeping it save?' Severus asked.

'In my dormitory for the time being,' said Lily. 'We got our first potions lesson on Monday if I'm not mistaken. I wanted to ask Professor Slughorn if he knows any other secure places where we could potentially start brewing again.'

Lily opened the box to check what was in it. 'We got one phial of Veritaserum, Felix Felicis, an invisibility potion, two Volubilis potions and some Polyjuice in here. Some ingredients...anything else we'd like to add to the collection?'

'Perhaps an antidote to Veritaserum,' Severus suggested, 'and we could do with a new supply of Dittany. I got a feeling Professor Slughorn won't be too eager to give us our own secret brewing station again though.'

'Why? Because he thinks we might start frolicking around or something?'

'Well there's that, but there's also the fact that Umbridge is lurking around every corner, and may not approve of two students receiving special treatment.'

Lily closed the box again, and by the twinkle in her eye Severus knew she had something mischievous on her mind. 'You want to go explore this place a little bit longer?' she asked.

Severus saw his mother waving at him in the mirror, and took it as a sign that it was time to leave. 'Let's go that way,' he said, pointing in a direction that led further into the Room. 'We could always use our wands to find the way back to the entrance.'

They passed several rows of old writing desks. Piles of empty ink bottles, handsome quills (which they both took one from), and they stopped in front of several bookshelves to see if they could find anything interesting to read.

'Looks like an old four-poster bed,' said Lily after turning yet another corner. 'Makes you wonder why it ended up here, don't you?'

Severus wrapped his arms around her middle from behind, and planted soft kisses in her neck. 'You and I know perfectly well how that bed ended up in here.'

'You want to try it out and see if it squeaks?' Lily whispered into his ear.

'Not very subtle, are we?' Severus whispered back, and ran a hand across the buttons of her robe. 'Want me to toss you onto the bed?'

Lily turned around and took a hold of his tie. 'It's my turn to go on top, remember?'

She dragged him to the bed and forced him to sit down. 'Would you like to see me strip?'

'I'd pay to see you strip.'

Lily snorted, and Severus realised the stupidity of what he had just told her. 'You excite me,' he mumbled.

She pulled her robes over her head and tossed them on the edge of the bed, revealing a pair of matching underwear. 'There's something that I've been wanting to try.'

With a swift motion she undid the clip of her bra and tossed them aside. Severus reached out and cupped one breast in his hand. He made circular motions with his finger and thumb, and felt her nipple growing stiff under his touch.

Lily leaned forward to kiss him, and lowered herself until she was down on her knees. 'Do you mind?' she asked as she looked up seductively.

'Do whatever you want,' said Severus as he took a hold of one of the quills, and tickles her in her neck with the feather. 'You're getting goosebumps.'

She struggled to undo the belt of his trousers, and instantly he felt relief from the pressure that had been growing from the inside out. 'Are you going to do what I think you're going to do?'

She ran her hands across the inside of his thighs, causing him to bite his lip. With some help she managed to take off his trousers and underwear. 'Are you sure about this, Lily?' he asked, not entirely sure if he was more aroused than scared.

'I promise I'll be careful with my teeth,' she said as she looked at his manhood. 'Forgive me if it doesn't work out.'

Severus wanted to say something to that, but his eyes rolled to the back of his skull the moment she felt the warmth of her lips embrace him. 'That feels good,' was all he managed to say.

He fisted her hair with both hands, trying to control what she was doing. 'Are you sure you don't want to climb into bed with me?'

'Yes,' she said. 'This floor is rough on my knees anyway,' and pushed herself up again. Severus grabbed her knickers and pulled them down. Hastily he got rid of his robes and laid down in the middle of the bed.

Lily crawled into bed on her knees and wrapped one leg over him. He could feel the warmth of her consume him as he felt himself slide into her body. 'You never fail to surprise me with your daring, miss Evans,' he mumbled.

She leaned forward and kissed him. With his fingers he managed to find her sweet spot as she found a way to move herself on top of him, causing her to moan in delight.

'I want you to cum for me,' he demanded, and with his free hand he took a hold of her arse to help her move.

'Don't stop,' she begged in a high-pitched voice. 'Don't stop. I just might if you keep doing this.'

He moved his tongue from her chin all the way down to one of her breasts, and sucked gently on one nipple. He could feel her tightening up the more she was aroused. Once she started to lose control, he knew he had done it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Something I felt I needed to say: The reason why I made Dumbledore vulnerable to the ring in the previous chapter is not because of the ring, but because of the stone. He craved a desire for it because he knows what the stone is, hence why it consumed him and not Severus. He wasn't able to resist the temptation the first time around either, and only lived because Severus saved him. Dumbledore may be brilliant, but he's also just a man.
> 
> Dumbledore is powerful...and vulnerable. He's fully aware of this, and this is probably the reason he refused to become Minister of Magic over and over again. He knows that being in a position of power could easily corrupt him. Him and Severus got a lot more in common the more I think about it.


	179. The Patronus Charm

Severus had Paul stand on the lookout in front of the Room of Requirement. One by one, the members of the Young Order made their way inside, making sure they didn't see any teachers or students before entering.

'Our first Sunday back inside the good old Room,' said Frank happily. Lily shot Severus a wink as she started picking up pillows to form a circle in the centre. 'Oh, how I've missed this place...'

Evan patted Severus on the back. 'We're going to start right away with the Patronus Charm. Probably the most viable thing we can do now that the whole school is surrounded by Dementors.'

'I'm curious to see what form yours will take on,' said Severus genuinely.

'You'll understand when you see it,' said Evan with a grin. 'I'm curious about everyone else's Patronus too. Highly doubt anyone would get it the first time around though. Took me all summer to get it down.'

'Welcome back everyone,' said Frank as he ushered everyone to take place in the circle. 'Is it safe for me to assume everyone has had at least one lesson from Professor Umbridge?'

Everyone nodded in agreement. 'Good,' said Frank. 'That means we are all aware that her method of teaching is going to lead us nowhere. Now that the whole school is surrounded by Dementors for our "safety", I figured the best thing to start off with would be learning the Patronus Charm. Can anyone here tell me what that is?'

'The Patronus Charm conjured a magical guardian,' said Potter. 'It's hard to explain, but it's sort of a positive force that can protect you against Dementors or Lethifolds.'

'Correct,' said Frank. 'Do you also know what a full corporeal Patronus looks like?'

'It usually takes on the form of an animal,' doesn't it?' Potter answered. 'I believe the form of a Patronus is closely related to Animagus forms.'

'That could very well be,' said Frank. 'Everyone, please keep in mind that this is a very complicated and difficult spell. I don't expect anyone to get it down on their very first try, let alone within the first few meetings. Please don't feel discouraged if you struggle with it.'

Severus thought about several ways to prevent himself from conjuring a Patronus right away. He settled on thinking about Umbridge in a pink tutu, figuring it was so off-putting not even a silver wisp was able to pour out of his wand.

'I need everyone to stand up,' said Frank as he took the lead, 'and find a spot in the room where you can practise by yourself, as this is not a charm that can be practised on someone else.'

Everyone got on their feet and scattered around the Room where they had enough space to wave around with a wand. 'The wand's movement is simple,' Frank explained, 'so that is the first thing we are going to practise before we move on to the actual incantation, as that requires a lot more than just mumbling a few words. Are you all ready?'

The group mumbled a "yes" in Frank's direction. 'Good,' said Frank approvingly. 'I need all of you to hold your wand up, and make a counter-clockwise circular motion, like this.'

Frank showed the appropriate wand movement and made everyone else follow his lead. 'Not that difficult, was it? Now, the spell is "Expecto Patronum." You need to articulate the spell very well in order for it to work, so repeat after me.'

"Expecto Patronum," the whole group repeated. 'Now try to do the appropriate wand movement while saying the spell out loud.'

Severus watched Lily hold up her wand, create a gentle, flowing circular movement and mumble 'Expecto Patronum.' As expected, nothing happened.

'This feels like our first Charms lesson,' said Mary as she made the circular movement over and over again. 'Couldn't get the bloody feather to fly until the lesson was nearly over.'

'Don't worry,' said Frank in reassurance. 'There's an important part to the spell I haven't explained yet. As a matter of fact, it is the most important part as it won't do without it. Before I explain what it is though, I want to ask Evan to give a demonstration.'

Evan nodded in agreement and took a spot in the middle of the Room so everyone was able to see him. He held the wand up in front of him, closed his eyes in order to concentrate, and said 'Expecto Patronum!'

A silver wisp poured out of his wand. 'Expecto Patronum!' he said again, and this time something that had the shape of a creature came pouring out of his wand. 'Expecto Patronum!' he yelled. A silver rabbit erupted from his wand, and bounced all over the Room for everyone to see.

'That's beautiful!' Emma cried out. 'You should show us yours too, Frank!'

'Alright,' said Frank, and held his wand straight in front of him. 'He looked at Alice with a smile and a wink, and mumbled 'Expecto Patronum.' A vulture erupted from the tip of his wand and soared throughout the Room for a while until it evaporated into a puff of smoke. 'Everyone ready to give it another try? Here's what you need to do.'

Frank fell into a lecture on positive thoughts and memories, and how they influenced the ability to conjure a Patronus Charm. 'This is great,' Lily whispered to Severus. 'I think I already know what memories I'm going to use.'

'I don't think it's as easy as it looks,' said Severus.

'Surely you must have some memories that make you happy,' said Lily.

'Plenty,' said Severus, 'but just because I have a collection of positive memories doesn't necessarily mean they'll work.'

'Go on, give it a try,' said Lily daringly. 'You're usually the first one to get a spell down.'

Focussing hard on the idea of Umbridge making a pirouette, he made the circular movement with his wand and mumbled 'Expecto Patronum.' Not even a sliver of silver smoke came out of his wand, and he knew the trick had worked.

Lily looked at his wand as if she expected it to suddenly fall apart. 'If you're struggling with this spell, it has to be a difficult spell.'

'Coming from the woman who is famous for her Charm work,' said Severus teasingly. 'You'll get it down soon enough.'

Lily went back to practising when Frank patted Severus on the shoulder. 'There's something I wanted to ask you,' he said soft enough so only Severus could hear, and walked to a more private corner of the room. 'It's about the book you recommended me when we were at Flourish and Blotts.'

'Learnt anything interesting?' Severus asked.

'That book is the reason I'm teaching everyone how to perform a Patronus,' said Frank. 'Thing is, you know there was a lot of information about the Unforgivable Curses.'

'I warned you about that Frank, That book—'

'–I Know, I know,' said Frank as he cut him off. 'It actually got me thinking about something. I know what the Killing Curse nor the Cruciatus Curse can't be fought, but what I'm mostly interested in is the Imperius Curse.'

Severus folded his arms and lowered his voice. 'You have my attention. What is it that you suggest.'

Frank sighed. 'The thing is, with the Imperius Curse, it's just—it's—'

'—Just speak up about it,' said Severus. 'I don't exactly have a clean slate when it comes to the use of dark magic.'

'True,' said Frank with a shrug. 'It's just, I figured that the Imperius Curse may just become the war's most powerful weapon, and it can so easily be used, and lied about, too. The book mentioned that it's possible to learn to resist the curse. Do you believe that to be true?'

'I do believe that to be true,' said Severus, 'but what is it you're suggesting, Frank?'

'I'm wondering if it's something that we perhaps should learn to do during our meetings,' said Frank. 'Problem is of course, it's an Unforgivable Curse for a reason.'

'Then I suggest putting it up to a vote,' said Severus. 'Explain why you think it's necessary for everyone to learn to protect themselves against this particular curse, and have them decide if it's worth the risk.'

'Getting their approval isn't what worries me,' said Frank darkly. 'What worries me is the idea of being caught using the curse on other students, even if it is meant to be educational.'

'I could do it if you want,' said Severus, and immediately bit his tongue as he thought about how Lily would respond to have using dark magic.

Frank narrowed his eyes. 'Is it something you've done before?'

'That's not the point,' said Severus. 'The point is that we've all seen what it did to Mary last year when Mulciber placed the Imperius Curse on her. She may be the most difficult one to convince.'

'Or the easiest,' said Frank. 'Our of everyone here she may be the one who wants to protect herself the most against the curse. Either way, I suggest we bring it into the group next lesson. I still want Evan to do some Occlumency today to see if everyone is still capable of protecting their minds.'

'Don't forget the non-verbals,' said Severus, and with a nod he suggested returning to the group to watch their progress. 'They'll be vitally important once we're not longer protected by these walls.'

'I think I just saw Lily conjure something silver out of her wand,' said Frank as he looked in Lily's direction. 'Go see if you can help her out.'

'I haven't even got the spell down yet,' said Severus irritably.

Frank raised an eyebrow. 'Knowing you, you'll probably have it down by next week, if not already by the end of the lesson.'

'Careful with your praises,' said Severus as he bumped into Frank's shoulder with his fist, 'or I just might start taking over your class.'

Frank laughed and walked up to Peter, who still seemed to be struggling to pronounce the spell correctly.

Severus walked up to Lily. 'Look at you, conjuring _something_ out of your wand already.'

'It's like you said,' said Lily proudly. 'Charms is kind of my thing. I got a feeling I should have this down in a lesson or two.'

'What memory is it that you're thinking about?' Severus asked out of curiosity.

'When I received my letter from Hogwarts,' said Lily with a wide smile on her face. 'It was the day that a lot of questions I had about myself suddenly fell into place.'

'Don't you have any memories a bit more powerful than that?'

Lily looked up in order to think. 'I got plenty of beautiful memories, though I'm not sure if they're more powerful. What is it that you think about?'

'I think about the first day I met you,' said Severus. 'It's a powerful memory to me.'

'Also a bit of a sad one, though,' said Lily with a hint of shame. 'I hadn't been particularly nice to you that day.'

Severus couldn't really expose the fact that the memory had always worked for him whenever he needed to conjure a Patronus. The day they met may not have been a particularly happy one, but it was powerful one nonetheless. His entire life had turned around when he learnt he wasn't the only magical child in town, and her return to him meant he got a friend for the first time in his life.

'I think you need something a bit more happy than that,' Lily added.

'I'll think about it,' said Severus, and put up a grin. 'Got plenty of memories with you that were a lot happier than that day.'

Frank clapped his hands to draw attention. 'I suggest we take a short break. Evan, if you're up to it, I'd like you to repeat the Occlumency lessons you gave us last school year. I think we could all do with a little repetition.'

'Sure,' said Evan. 'Severus, I'm going to need your help with that.'

'Fine,' said Severus. 'Just know that the last thing I want to see is the inside of your mind, or Frank's for the matter. Both of you disgust me with your vulgarities on a whole different level.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I gave Frank a vulture Patronus because of his mum's vulture, and because I perceive him to be a bit of a mama's boy. I gave Evan a rabbit Patronus because rabbits are the symbol of fertility, and I made Evan to be quite a sexual creature himself. I got more planned out for the rest of the group.


	180. The Musky Scent of Amortentia

Welcome back Slytherins!' said Slughorn joyfully as the Slytherins made their way inside the dungeon classroom. 'It's so good to see so many of you have elected Potions for their NEWTs this year.'

'It's good to see you too, Professor,' said Severus as he shook Slughorn's hand. 'Did you have a good rest of the summer?'

Slughorn shrugged. 'It was alright I suppose. Bit boring now that my wife is no longer around. I would like to talk to you after class, if possible.'

'If this is about my father, I honestly—'

'No, no,' said Slughorn as he waved it off. 'I understand that the situation with your father is something you'd rather not discuss with me. I was more thinking along the lines of finding a new lab for you and miss Evans.'

'We could most certainly do with that,' said Severus approvingly. 'I better go save a seat for her.'

He walked his way back into the classroom and sat down in the usual spot he sat with Lily. In the distance he could hear the Gryffindors coming down the corridor in their usual loud fashion. Lily walked in with a smile and a wave, but was quickly pushed aside by a flash of pink.

'Feel free to go and sit somewhere else, miss Evans,' ordered Professor Umbridge. 'I'll be sitting here with mister Snape for the rest of the lesson.'

Lily's eyes grew wide in horror at the sight of Umbridge sitting next to Severus, and bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying something stupid. 'No problem, Professor. I'll go sit with another partner for today,' she said sweetly, and turned to go sit with Emma.

'Good morning, Professor,' said Slughorn with a confused look on his face. 'What brings you here today?'

'The Ministry has requested me to observe and take notes of the staff's professional competence,' said Umbridge in a nonchalant fashion. 'Just pretend I'm not here.'

'Very well,' said Slughorn, still looking confused by seeing another teacher sitting in his classroom. 'Enjoy the lesson.'

Severus had shifted his chair as far away as humanly possible from Umbridge. The scent of her sickly-sweet perfume had started to induce a minor headache, and the sight of her pink cardigan wasn't helping in the slightest. Frustrated, he slammed his new copy of Advanced Potion-making onto his desk.

'Welcome back to another year at Hogwarts, everyone,' said Slughorn cheerily. 'It's good to see that so many of you have passed their potions exam with an "E". Before we officially continue, I want to freshen up our minds a little bit with potions that we've worked on in the previous years. As you can see, I've got three cauldrons set up that I want you to identify just by looking at its colour and texture. Can anyone tell me what potion is is?' he asked as he pointed at a colourless potion bubbling in a cauldron.

It was Lily who raised up her hand. 'That's Veritaserum, Professor,' she said with a grin. 'A potion that will force its drinker to tell the truth.'

Severus could see Umbridge starting to scribble violently on her notepad. He didn't even need to look in order to know that it wasn't positive.

'Well done, miss Evans,' said Slughorn proudly. 'I've got another cauldron right here. Who can tell me what's in it?'

Potter was the first one to raise his hand. 'That's Polyjuice Potion, sir,' he said, the smirk on his face betraying that he certainly wasn't a stranger to the potion.

'It is indeed!' said Slughorn with a nod of approval. 'I got one final cauldron standing here. Does anyone recognise what it is?'

A gold-coloured liquid was swirling inside the cauldron. Steam rose up from it in characteristic spirals, and admitted a seductive scent that sadly got masked by Umbridge's foul perfume the moment she had sat down beside Severus.

'Mister Snape, do you know what it is?' asked Slughorn when no one raised a hand.

'It's Amortentia,' Severus answered bitterly. 'The most powerful love potion in the world. Recognisable by its distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen and spiralling steam.'

'Quite right!' said Slughorn. 'Can you also tell us another distinctive characteristic of this potion, aside from its visual aspects?'

'The scent is different for everyone,' he rattled. 'It smells like the things that attract you the most.'

'Indeed,' said Slughorn. 'Care to share with us what it smells like to you?'

Glad to find an excuse to get away from Umbridge, Severus stood up and walked up to the cauldron. 'I can smell something damp,' he said as he hovered above the potion. 'I'm assuming it relates to the dungeons. And I can smell something musky...I know where that comes from. And motorbike grease.'

Without raising a hand, Lily had stood up and walked her way up to the cauldron. 'I can smell something leathery,' she said while smiling at Severus. 'And paint, which I associate with my sister. And there's also a scent that's not necessarily pleasant one, but it reminds me of Cokeworth's riverbank.'

'I can smell the wood of a polished broomstick,' said Potter suddenly. 'And grass. Probably from the quidditch pitch. Something sweet too...'

More students gathered around the cauldron to catch a better whiff of the potion. Severus glared at Umbridge, who was writing violently on her notepad. She probably did not approve of students getting up without the teacher's permission.

'Ehm ehm,' said Umbridge with a cough. 'Horace, can I speak with you for a moment, please?'

Slughorn, looking rather annoyed, made his way to where Umbridge was sitting. 'Is there something wrong?' he asked.

Severus knew what was about to follow. He swiftly put some strands of his hair behind his ear to make sure he could hear the conversation while pretending to stare at the cauldron in front of him.

'For how long have you been a Potion's Master at Hogwarts, Horace?' she asked.

Slughorn looked up at the ceiling, thinking deeply. 'For a long time, that's for sure. I've quite forgotten when I started exactly, but Dumbledore was still the Transfiguration teacher at the time.'

Severus could hear Umbridge scribbling something down, and he knew Slughorn's inability to answer how long he's had teaching at Hogwarts was a bad sign.

'Could you perhaps explain to me, Horace, why you are teaching the students to brew potions that are deemed dangerous by the Ministry?'

'I'm not teaching them _how_ to brew Amortentia,' said Slughorn defensively. 'The reason why I want my students to know what it looks like, is so that they will be able to recognise it in case anyone has an ill-intent with it.'

'Are you not worried that some might actually try to brew it now that they know of its existence?'

'My students don't need me to know what a love potion is, Professor Umbridge,' said Slughorn in a much darker tone. 'What matters is that they can protect themselves from being harmed.'

'Then what about showing them Veritaserum, ehm? Surely you are aware that only the Ministry is allowed to use Veritaserum for interrogations?'

'My opinion still stands, _p_ _rofessor_. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a group of students who need their teacher.'

Slughorn turned around, and by the sound of his footsteps it was clear he had grown angry with Umbridge's presence. 'I need everyone to return to their seats, and open up their books on the first chapter on Alchemy,' he snapped.

Reluctantly, the group shuffled away from the cauldron of Amortentia, and slumped back into their seats. Severus took a hold of his brand-new copy of Advanced Potion-making, and grew a little more frustrated the moment he realised that all of the notes he had once blotted down in it were now non-existent.

'Over the next couple of weeks, we are going to study the basics of Alchemy,' said slughorn in a serious manner as he simultaneously wrote the word down in the blackboard with the tip of his wand, 'and its relation to Transmutation. We will also be discussing several Alchemists from all over the world. That includes Dzou Yen, Paracelsus, who was a contemporary of Copernicus and Leonardo Da Vinci. Elphias Doge, who observed the work of Egyptian alchemists, Nicholas Flamel, and of course, Dumbledore himself.'

Severus and Lily looked at each other at the mention of Flamel, and smiled. Lily signed 'this is going to be good' with her fingers. Severus nodded in agreement. He remembered vaguely his lessons on Alchemy during his first life, but now having met the Flamels in person, his whole perception on Alchemy had changed significantly.

'I need everyone to read the first chapter in silence,' said Slughorn as he sat down behind his desk, and looked fondly at Francis swimming in his bowl. 'I'll quiz everyone in about half an hour to see if you understood what Libatius Borage has written about it.'

Everyone bent over their desks in silence in order to read the first chapter. Umbridge sat up straight as a board, and kept staring at Slughorn as if she was waiting for him to do something she would not approve of.

Once their time was up, Slughorn quizzed the whole class on what the common goals of alchemists are, and the four basic elements involved. Slughorn seemed relieved by the time the bell rang, and everyone got up to leave the classroom.

Without as much as a thank you, Umbridge was the first one to leave. Severus grabbed Lily by the hand to prevent her from leaving. 'There's something Professor Slughorn wants to discuss with us,' he whispered to her.

Lily nodded in understanding and shot the classroom door. 'Are you alright, Professor?' she asked.

'Better now that _she's_ gone,' Slughorn sneered. 'Her questioning me is the last thing I needed.'

'I overheard the conversation,' said Severus. 'As difficult as it may be, I suggest being very careful with what you say to her. She's far too powerful with all the connections that she has within the Ministry. She could get you fired for working against her.'

'I have already been contemplating my retirement for some time now, Severus,' said Slughorn with a shrug. 'It doesn't matter if she gets me fired. What matters is finding a proper replacement. But that's not why I wanted to talk to the two of you.'

'I'm kind of hoping you have another lab for us, Professor,' said Lily, already bouncing on her feet in anticipation.

Slughorn couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. 'You guessed right. Consider it a gift from me to the two of you. For Francis, and for being such wonderful students to have. Follow me.'

Slughorn got up and turned his way to the wall behind him. 'It's something I had built over the summer in secret,' he said. 'Me, along with a few house-elves, are the one ones who know about it. It doesn't get much more secret than that.'

With his wand he tapped on several bricks in a counter-clockwise movement. Just like the entrance from the Leaky Cauldron into Diagon Alley, the stones in the wall replaced themselves until an archway was formed.

Slughorn stepped inside. 'Please, do come in,' he said with a wave. 'I hope it'll suffice.'

The room looked quite similar to the lab they used to have further into the dungeons. Fake windows had been placed along the walls, giving the illusion of sunlight shining in. There were several shelves stocked with potion ingredients and books, and two cauldrons were placed side by side above a firepit in the middle of the room. 'It's not much,' said Slughorn, 'but it's something you can work with.'

'Professor, this is incredible,' said Lily as she looked at the books on the shelves. 'Did you really do all this just for us?'

Slughorn waved it off. 'I remember how upset you two were after the other lab got destroyed. For a long time I thought about a secret place in the castle you could potentially use as a lab. There's a very peculiar room on the seventh floor at the end of the left corridor, but then I figured that I'm not the only one who knows about that place.'

'True,' said Severus. 'We are also familiar with that place, as are many others.'

'I showed you the combination to get inside,' said Slughorn, 'so feel free to come and go as you please. The door to this classroom will always been open. Just make sure no one but me ever sees you enter.'

'Thank you, Professor,' said Severus sincerely. 'No one would expect us to be at a place that previously never existed before.'

'We better get going,' said Slughorn. 'I suspect you two have more lessons to attend and I'm expecting my next class to show up any minute.'

'Thank you so much for this, Professor,' said Lily as they made their way out, and the archway puzzled itself back to a wall. 'I could not have asked for a better place.'

'You are very welcome, miss Evans.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N On Twitter someone asked Rowling what Snape smells like. Her response was bitterness and old shoes. Now I don't know what to associate bitterness with other than medicinal herbs, but old shoes are usually made of leather and to my personal taste, I actually like that kind of scent.
> 
> A/N Dzou Yen was mentioned in the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban video game on a Famous Wizard card. Paracelsus has his own Chocolate Frog card (the other card Harry got on his first train ride to Hogwarts, and also happens to have a bust on the way to the owlery. Peeves threatened to drop it once causing Harry to choose an alternative route instead). Elphias Doge observed the Egyptians during his world tour, and is mentioned in the second chapter of the last book.


	181. The Wrath of Dolores Umbridge

Both Charms and Transfiguration classes focussed on the importance of non-verbal spells the next day. In a way, Severus was glad that the topic was so heavily discussed, but on the other hand it was also boring him to tears. It came as a relief that the day ended with a Care of Magical Creatures lesson. They were taught how to properly saddle up the horses and hippogriffs, and a few students had managed sit on them without too much of a hassle.

Fortunately for Severus, Lilith, shy as she was, was already used to being saddled up as she pulled the school's carriages, and didn't mind having someone sitting on her back. Together with Lily's Aethonan horse, they made a circle around the sunny school grounds. As long as they didn't have to fly, it was actually quite pleasant to be on horseback.

…

On Wednesday they had their second lesson with Umbridge. Keeping their heads down and mumble polite greetings seemed to be the only way to prevent themselves from getting it trouble, but it was a difficult day nonetheless.

Today was also the day that Remus would have to endure his first transformation at school again, and Umbridge, quite aware of what was about to come, wasn't taking it well. First, she tried to avoid Remus as much as possible, pretending he didn't exist while pacing around anxiously as if he could transform at any moment. After a while she decided that everyone needed to close their books and started a lecture on the danger of werewolves, causing Remus to cower in shame.

Fortunately, she was unable to find a reason to get Remus, or anyone else for the matter, kicked out of class.

Remus was the first one to bounce of the classroom the moment the bell rang. 'Remus, wait!' Severus called out.

'I'm going to Professor McGonagall,' said Remus angrily as he kept walking. 'I know that exposing myself last year was a great risk I took, but the last thing I need is for a teacher, _a teacher,_ to try and invoke fear into everyone about my condition.'

'Could you please listen to me for a second?' Severus asked as he caught up with Remus, and forced him to stop.

'I really can't do with this, Severus,' said Remus, looking hurt. 'She's making us write an essay about the dangers of werewolves and why my kind is leaning to the dark side. This is suicide.'

'Are you still in contact with the Belby family?' Severus asked calmly.

'Of course. What about it?'

'Don't go to McGonagall. Go up to the owlery and write the Belbys a letter explaining what's going on at Hogwarts instead. Catriona's got a whole network of werewolves she could use to raise hell if they knew what Umbridge is trying to do to you.'

'And what makes you think they would care about some lone wolf who's still attending school?'

Severus grinned. 'Catriona is the leader of the pack, remember? If she can make them realise how important this is, they'll answer.'

He knew he had said the right thing the moment Remus dropped his shoulders and his face relaxed. 'Now, what exactly is your plan for tonight?'

'Probably use James's cloak and go back to the boathouse,' said Remus. 'Or maybe go to the Room of Requirement. Or the Shrieking Shack. I haven't decided yet.'

'I suggest the Shrieking Shack,' said Severus, although not too keen on the idea of having to go back to that place. 'The Room can be seen and used by more people in this castle, and we've been caught at the boathouse before.'

'Shrieking Shack it is then,' said Remus, and lowered his voice. 'There's uhm, there's one thing I would like to ask of you.'

'Sure. What is it?'

'I was wondering if it could be just you and me tonight. I don't want everyone to get caught again like last school year, and you're probably the only one smart enough to stay out of sight. You know what my friends are like.'

'That I know,' said Severus. 'How do you suggest we escape unnoticed?'

Remus patted his bag. 'I already got James's cloak. The best time to get underneath it is after dinner when everyone goes back to their dormitories.'

'Will do,' said Severus with a nod of approval. 'I'll leave it up to you to tell the rest that we're doing this together. For now, we better go get some lunch.'

…

Remus had informed everyone of his plan during their music lesson, as it was the best opportunity to talk without being overheard. James, Sirius and Peter didn't seem too keen on not being present during his transformation, but on Remus's insistence they obliged nonetheless.

'We'll have a way to keep an eye on the two of you,' Potter whispered to them as they made their way out of the Great Hall after dinner. 'Good luck.'

Much to Potter's dismay, Lily and Severus shared a quick kiss before the whole group form a circle around them, so that they could cover themselves with the cloak without anyone noticing.

Together they hurried their way through the Entrance Hall and out to the grounds. The sun had already started to descend, but they still had plenty of time to make it into the Shrieking Shack on time.

With a broken branch, Remus tapped on the knot at the bottom of the Whomping Willow to freeze it, and make way to the passage that led to the Shack.

'I don't like going back here,' said Severus admittedly.

Remus took off the cloak the moment they were down in the tunnel. 'I can understand this place holds some bad memories for you. It's a good thing I know there's still a stack of crisps waiting for us at the other and. Maybe some butterbeers too if Peter didn't drink all of them.'

'You have no idea to what extent,' Severus mumbled to himself. 'I could go for some butterbeer.'

They continued their way through the tunnel in silence until they had reached the entrance of the Shack. The whiffs of old dust and rotting wood filled their nostrils as they entered.

Severus looked inside the room where he had once died. It wasn't as much of a shock this time around, having been back inside the Shack before during their previous school year, but there was still something very off-putting about looking at a place that was essentially your grave.

'Found a few butterbeers,' said Remus as he pulled out a few bottles from behind a pillow. 'And some crisps if you want some.'

'Is there any particular reason why you wanted me to come alone with you?' Severus asked in a serious manner.

Remus looked directly into Severus's eyes, and nodded stiffly. 'I figured you would understand that this isn't just to keep our friends safe. It's more than that.'

Severus sat down on the rickety couch and took a butterbeer from Remus's hand. 'What is it that you wanted to discuss with me?'

'Just guy talk,' said Remus with a shrug. 'I don't think it's something you have to be concerned about, but I figured you should know about it all the same.'

'Go on.'

'James has been going on and on about Lily this past summer,' said Remus with an annoyed look on his face. 'He may respect you a little bit more after what you've done for me, but it's not going to stop him from trying to win her over.'

Severus wasn't sure whether to stay calm or toss the bottle of butterbeer at the wall. He knew he had nothing to worry about. Lily never showed interest in Potter until their seventh year after all, but having to deal with the man who once fathered a child with his girlfriend left a sour taste in his mouth. 'Any _why_ exactly, is he still chasing after my girlfriend?'

'You can't prevent what the heart wants,' said Remus casually as he popped open his own bottle of butterbeer. 'He told me he could smell her scent when we were all standing around that cauldron of Amortentia. He's really into her, and I'm afraid it's only going to get worse.'

'You make it sound like he's willing to use Amortentia if that's what it takes to win her over,' Severus growled.

Remus shook his head. 'James would never hit a low like that. He knows just as well as you and I do that artificial infatuation isn't going to win her over.'

'That doesn't stop me from wanting to hex him into smithereens,' said Severus angrily. 'He needs to learn a thing or two about boundaries. He just—'

'—Severus, I just told you this because I figured you should know. Lily as honest and trustworthy. I don't think you need to worry as much as you do.'

Severus popped open his own butterbeer and drank a large gulp. 'I trust Lily with everything I have. I just don't trust him.'

'Fair enough,' said Remus. 'There's something else that I wanted to discuss with you as well.'

'I think I already know what this is going to be about.'

'I want to drop out of Hogwarts.'

'I knew it.'

'Don't you want to at least hear my reasoning for it?'

'I remember you mentioning it before,' said Severus nonchalantly. 'Mister Mulpeper offered you a job at his pub. It's probably the safest place for you to be while being in contact with the werewolf network, and you get to make some money on the side.'

'He even has a small studio for me upstairs that I could live in,' Remus added. 'It's a fantastic offer if you think about it, but I'm still torn about leaving and not finishing my education.'

Severus looked at Remus in a serious manner. 'There's always another way to finish your education. Your condition, and this war, are much more important than a degree you can always acquire later on. What I'm more curious about, is why you're telling me this and not your Marauder friends.'

Remus laughed. 'Because if I tell them I want to drop out they'll panic and start begging me to stay. I love my friends, but they're not exactly able to apply logic when their emotions take over.'

'Perhaps you should have been a Slytherin,' said Severus with a grin.

'The hat contemplated putting me into Ravenclaw first,' said Remus. 'But maybe you're right. Maybe I would've done well in Slytherin too.'

'When exactly do you plan on leaving? Severus asked.

'I plan on going home at Christmas, and then move to London. My seventeenth birthday is not until March, but I can do without waving a wand for a few months if I have to.' Remus took another large gulp of his butterbeer. 'I think the sun is down. I better head to the bedroom and wait for my transformation.'

Severus watched Remus leave the room. He could understand Remus's reasoning for wanting to leave. Umbridge's influence was only going to get worse, and leaving at Christmas would mean he would be able to have one final train ride home without causing a commotion if he suddenly disappeared.

Thinking back on it, he had once contemplated leaving halfway through his sixth year as well. But for now he didn't have much of a reason to do so. Hogwarts was the safest place to be now that he was positive the Dark Lord was after him. There was that, and then there was also the fact that he didn't want to be without Lily.

The sickening sound of cracking bones filled the Shack. Remus had started to howl from the pain, sending shivers all over Severus's body.

After a minute or so the howling stopped, and Severus could hear Remus jumping off the bed onto four legs.

'Want some more butterbeer?' Severus asked Remus as returned to the room.

'I could use some,' said Remus, still panting from the harsh transformation. 'I think I can smell something...'

'Smell what?' Severus asked.

Remus stuck his nose up in the air and sniffed around. 'Something very sweet, but not the good kind of sweet.'

Severus turned around in a flash to look through the dusty darkened window. 'You think there may be someone outside?'

'Could be,' said Remus darkly, and jumped on the couch to take a closer look. 'It's definitely coming from outside.'

'Could you growl? Maybe it'll scare whoever's out there.'

Remus growled, and a sharp fearful squeal came from the other side of the building. 'Oh no...I think it's...'

He didn't need to finish his sentence. A flash of pink passed by the window. Spells were thrown, another man's voice could be heard yelling for them outside.

Remus panicked. 'James is out there!' he cried. 'We have to go out and help him!'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Full moon fell on Wednesday, the 8th of September back in 1976.


	182. Written in Blood

'Stay here Remus!' Severus ordered.

'She already knows I'm a bloody werewolf Severus!' Remus howled. 'Why does it matter if I—'

'—If you run after her right now, she'll find a reason to get you kicked out of school before Christmas, or worse, have you thrown into Azkaban.'

Remus huffed, but stopped trying to push himself passed Severus to the exit. 'Go make sure James is safe,' he said darkly. 'If he just attacked a teacher, he might be in bigger trouble than the two of us.'

Severus nodded in understanding and rushes his way outside, his wand ready at hand. He found Umbridge hovering over Potter, who was lying spread-eagled on the ground.

'Don't point your wand at me, mister Snape!' Umbridge snapped. 'I will not hesitate to have you expelled!'

Figuring it was best to do whatever Umbridge wanted him to do, Severus tucked his wand back into his pocket. Potter was moaning in pain on the ground, and appeared to have had quite a blow from a Stunning Spell.

'What did you do to him?' Severus asked as calmly as he could.

'That's irrelevant,' said Umbridge, and twirled her wand between his fingers. 'What matters, is why you and mister Potter are out here after curfew?'

'I'm out here to help Remus,' said Severus, and shifted his eyes from Umbridge's glare to Potter. 'Can you get up?'

With great difficulty, Potter managed to push himself up, but failed to keep standing on two legs.

'What are you waiting for?' said Umbridge with a tap of her wand against Severus's back. 'Help him to stand up and walk up to my office. Now.'

'Hold on to me, Potter,' said Severus with great disdain. 'Work with me if you want to stay out of trouble.'

Potter didn't seem too pleased about needing Severus's help, but obliged nonetheless. 'I was trying to keep an eye on you two,' he said in between shallow breaths, 'and then I saw her heading this way, and so I—'

'—Stop talking, mister Potter,' ordered Umbridge. 'Not a sound until both of you are in my office.'

With Potter's arm dangling over his shoulder for support, Severus made his way to the castle in silence, followed closely under Umbridge's watchful eye.

It was a struggle to get Potter up on the many flights of staircases that led to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, and it came almost as a relief once the door to Umbridge's office was shut. Severus had Potter slump down in a chair in front of the desk, and sat down in another chair beside him.

Umbridge straightened the pink bow-tie on top of her head and sat down in her chair in an elegant fashion. 'So, mister Potter. Care to tell me why you suddenly decided to run after me, hem-hem?'

Potter struggled hard to keep his head up straight. 'It's not a very smart idea to run after a werewolf, professor. I tried to warn you.'

'And can you explain to me, mister Potter, why it would be unsafe for me to see mister Lupin in his werewolf state, now that mister Snape has invented that Wolfsbane Potion?'

'Good question,' said Potter. 'It's not—it's not about him being dangerous. It's just that he's embarrassed about it.'

'Surely after his grand exposure last year, mister Lupin has got nothing left to be embarrassed about?'

'It's not that simple,' Potter snapped. 'He's—'

'—I think Potter needs to either lie down,' Severus interrupted, 'or shut his mouth. The reason I was with Remus, _Professor,_ is because Remus asked me to.'

Umbridge looked indignantly up at Severus. 'And why does he require your company, mister Snape? Surely he can make it through his transformations without your presence.'

'It's a man's thing,' said Severus dryly. 'You wouldn't understand.'

Umbridge tilted her head, making her look even more arrogant than usual, and smiled widely until all of her pointed teeth were exposed. 'If there is one thing I hate more than having to chase after students who are out of bounds, it's _liars_.'

A silence fell between the three of them. All Umbridge did was stare straight into both of their eyes, as if she somehow expected them to confess their greatest of sins.

'What do you want us to do, Professor?' Potter asked weakly. 'I'm not sure if I can keep my eyes open any longer.'

Forcefully, Umbridge pulled out one of her desk's drawers and slammed a potion on the table. 'Drink this. You'll feel better.'

'Only a little bit, Potter,' said Severus before Potter drank the entire potion in one gulp. 'I recognise a Wideye Potion when I see one.'

Taking Severus's advice, Potter only took a small sip from the bottle. His eyes immediately grew wide as if he suddenly had a sugar rush, and slammed the bottle back onto the desk. 'Woah, that stuff wakes you up alright!'

'It's strong enough to wake anyone up from a concussion,' said Severus. 'It'll keep you awake, but it's not a cure.'

'I feel great!' said Potter. 'What do you want us to do, Professor?'

'I'm going to deduct fifty points from both of your houses,' said Umbridge, still smiling her toothy grin. 'And you will be serving detention with me until Sunday, starting today.'

Potter gasped. 'Detention till Sunday? But what about the quidditch try-outs!? Did my house even make over fifty points yet?'

'Don't argue it, Potter!' Severus snapped. 'What do you want us to do, Professor?'

'I'm going to make you write lines,' said Umbridge, and clasped her hands in an exciting manner.

Potter's face transformed into a look of pure horror. 'Lines? Isn't that something you make little ch—'

'—Lines, mister Potter. And you two will be using my special quills for it to prevent you from cheating.' From the inside of her bag, Umbridge pulled out two jet-black quills. The pen's abnormally sharp edges were shimmering in the candlelight. 'It's a rather recent invention of mine, and I'd like for the two of you to try it out.'

Severus and Potter each took a quill from Umbridge's hand. Umbridge shoved two pieces of parchment in front of them. 'In a moment, I will be leaving while locking the door behind me to notify your head of houses about your abysmal behaviour. In the meantime, I need you both to write, "I must not tell lies" onto your piece of parchment.'

'How many times?' Potter asked.

'As long as it needs for you to... _sink in,_ mister Potter,' said Umbridge, and stood up from her desk. 'I'll be leaving now, and I want to see lines on that parchment when I come back.'

'Will you give us any ink? Severus asked.

The appalling grin on Umbridge's face reached as high as her face allowed. 'You won't be needing any, mister Snape.' She turned around and marched her way out of the office. With a final "click" she locked the door behind her, leaving two very confused looking students behind.

'This is shit!' Potter called out. 'This is absolute shit! Writing lines? Deducting points we don't even have yet? This is—'

'—The more you'll fight her, the more reasons she'll find to make your life a living hell,' said Severus, who was still looking at the quill with an ill sense of foreboding.

'Now I'm going to miss out on the quidditch trials!' said Potter angrily.

'You're already on the team!' Severus yelled back. 'It's only four days of this fucking nonsense. Just keep your head down and do as you're told.'

'Is that what you always do?' Potter snapped. 'Is that the best advice you have? Just keep your head down. Just do as you're told. No wonder you were sorted into Slytherin.'

A spark of rage had ignited into Severus's chest. 'What is that supposed to mean?'

Potter stood up and kicked his chair away. 'It means you don't fight back, Snape! This _foul creature_ is about to start terrorising the whole school. She will make Remus's life a living hell. And all you do is sit here and tell me to keep my head down and do as I'm told. You're fucking weak Snape!'

Severus tossed his quill aside and grabbed Potter roughly by his collar. 'Don't...tempt...me,' he spat, and pushed Potter away. 'Suck it up, and write your damn lines.'

Potter huffed and sat down in his chair again. 'What's so special about this bloody quill anyway?' he said as he picked up his quill again. 'It looks weird.'

Taking his own advice, Severus sat down again and grabbed his quill. 'You still like Lily, don't you?'

'That's not exactly a secret, is it?' said Potter as he put the tip of his quill on the parchment. 'Yes, I like her. I like her a lot.'

'I need you to stay away from her.'

Potter snorted. 'Honestly Snape. You and I both know I'll never make a chance with her.'

'I don't like the way you look at her.'

'Okay, Snape. I get that you don't—ouch!' Potter quickly dropped the quill and rubbed over the back of his left hand. 'What the hell was that?'

Severus looked at the tip of his own quill, and placed it on the piece of parchment. The moment he started to write the first word, he could feel a sharp pain etching into his right hand. " _I...must..._ "

'Bloody witch!' Severus cried out.

'What is this?' said Potter, looking repulsed at his own quill.

'She's making us write lines in our own blood. That's what she's doing.'

Potter had suddenly started to look green. 'That's disgusting! This has got to be against the rules. This is—'

'—This is something you're going to have to get through, and deal with,' said Severus sharply. 'Keep writing. She'll probably return soon.'

Writing with the blood quill was easier said than done. With every line, the words in their hands carved deeper and deeper until blood started to gush out, leaving red blots all over the parchment.

'This is infuriating,' said Potter. Both of his hands were shaking from both anger and pain. 'We've got to let Dumbledore know about this the moment we she lets us go.'

'Don't,' said Severus strictly. 'She was appointed by the Ministry to work here. There's nothing he can do.'

'Are you not even remotely bothered by the sheer injustice of this?' said Potter in disbelief. 'This bloody quill is a torture device. It's _illegal_!'

'It's also illegal to use hexes on other students in between classes, Potter! Severus spat. 'Of all people, you would be the one to know that anything illegal can go easily undetected in this castle.'

The "click" of the lock on the door made them both fall into silence. 'I notified both of your head of houses,' said Umbridge nonchalantly, and sat down gracefully in her chair behind the desk again. 'They are informed that you will be serving detention with me until Sunday.'

She took a good look at both their hands. 'Good, good,' she mumbled with a nod of approval. 'It appears my quills are doing their job.'

Potter had to bite his lip to prevent himself from throwing a fit. 'Are we done for today, Professor?' he asked carefully.

'Come back tomorrow after dinner,' she said. 'I do want to see more lines than I see now. Only one side of the parchment seems a little meagre, don't you think?'

Severus and Potter tossed their quills aside and rushed their way out of the office. 'This is war,' mumbled Potter as he slammed the door of the classroom behind him. 'This. Is. War.'

'I still stand by my idea to keep your head down low, for now,' said Severus as he nursed his injured hand. 'But you are right, Potter. This is war indeed.'

'I will find a way to make her life a living hell for as long as she's around,' said Potter, and puffed his chest out in a proud fashion. 'It's what my group of friends is notorious for, after all. And maybe the rest of the Young Order would be willing to help out. Perhaps I should make some suggestions next Sunday.'

'You mean that Sunday when we'll be serving detention?' said Severus. 'See if you can get Sirius and Peter involved when you go back to your dormitory. Since Peter's a rat, he might be able to sniff her out wherever she goes.'

'We already got our own method for tracking people,' said Potter. 'But yes, I'm going to show them what she did and come up with a plan. I want to give her a reason to leave on her own accord.'

Severus looked at the back of his hand. Drops of blood were still oozing from the lines Umbridge had made them write. 'If you come up with a good plan, count me in.'

'And why the sudden change of heart, Snape?' asked Potter with a tilted eye.

'Umbridge made it clear she doesn't like liars,' said Severus as he wiped a few drops of blood from his hand. 'But neither do I.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N From HP wiki: The Wideye Potion, also known as the Awakening Potion, was a potion which prevented the drinker from falling asleep and could also be used to awaken someone from drugging or concussion.


	183. The Prefects' Bathroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Smut!

Not wanting to keep it a secret from Lily, Severus convinced her to come to their new potion's lab during lunch the next day. She was shocked, appalled, angered and horrified by the sight of his hand. She managed to find dittany among Slughorn's supplies and applied it to his hand, but it didn't seem to work, making it clear that the quill was cursed in more than one way.

Severus told her that Potter may be up to something to bring Umbridge down, and asked if she could keep an eye on Potter to prevent him from blowing it out of proportion.

Remus had returned to the castle with his tail between his legs the next day. No matter what Severus or Potter tried to tell him, they were unable to convince him that their detention was something they had called upon themselves.

On Thursday, Lily, along with most of the other students, had managed to fly a circle around the castle with their given horses. Lilith however, was probably able to sense Severus's fear for taking to the sky, and kept her hoofs firmly rooted to the ground.

Umbridge was present during every evening that Severus and Potter had to spend inside her office, and even walked them back to their dormitories afterwards; leaving no room for discussing anything that Potter may have come up with to make Umbridge's life a living hell.

Their last day with Umbridge may also have been their worst. Not only were they going to miss out on their second meeting with the Young Order, but the lines on their hands were now bound to become scars. The quills had scratched so deep into their flesh that the tip had reached the surface of the bones in their hands. Umbridge's smile widened with every ear-splitting scratch as the tip scraped over their bones, and involuntarily flinched from the pain.

Umbridge didn't walk them back this time, and Severus took the opportunity to hand Potter a small phial containing Essence of Murlap after they were ushered out of her office. 'That'll soothe the pain a bit,' he explained as they rushed their way to the grand staircase.

'And why are you suddenly being so nice to me?' asked Potter sceptically.

'I know you and I have our reasons not to like each other, Potter,' said Severus. 'But think of it this way. We now both share the same scars...and a common enemy.'

'Very true,' said Potter, and took the phial out of Severus's hands. 'Thanks.'

'Have you made any plans with the rest of your little group yet?' Severus asked.

'Sort of,' said Potter. 'For now we're trying to get Peeves involved. 'He likes to prank and is sort of immune to Umbridge's influence. So he's out safest bet, but he's also difficult to convince.'

Severus nodded in approval. 'Anything I can do?'

'Do you even hear yourself, Snape?' said Potter. 'This is so unlike you. But no. Not yet anyway. What we want is for Peeves to infect the other ghosts, and make Hogwarts a little bit more, _haunted_ , for her.'

'She already jump-scared the moment she heard Remus howl,' said Severus, thinking out loud. 'To have a couple of ghosts keeping her up at night...'

'If we can keep her up all night, she may grow tired...and scared all the time,' said Potter. 'It's just an idea for now, though. Still need to convince Peeves to corporate, and then he still needs to convince the other ghosts to participate. It's much more complicated than it sounds.'

'Not bad, Potter,' said Severus. 'If you and the rest of your marauders can come up with anything else, don't hesitate to count me in.'

…

'I still think we should tell mum and dad,' said Lily during their first Potions lesson on Monday.

'Tell them what?' asked Severus.

'About what Umbridge did to you and James, of course!' she said angrily as she playfully whacked him with a spatula. 'I know James is.'

'And what difference would it make?' Severus snapped back. 'All they can do is send letters of complaint to Dumbledore and the Ministry. Dumbledore's entirely powerless since Umbridge was appointed by the Ministry; meaning he can't fire her. And the Ministry won't care because her position of power is too high. Complaints will only cause more oil to be thrown onto the fire.'

Lily huffed and rested her hands on her hips, but did not seem to come up with any proper counter argument. 'I suppose you're right,' she said bluntly. About it not making a difference regarding Umbridge, that is. It's more of a moral thing, Sev. I believe mum and dad have a right to know.'

Severus absent-mindedly continued to cut up ginger roots for their Wit-Sharpening Potion. 'I just don't see the need to make them worried over something so petty.'

Lily drew a deep breath to prevent herself from throwing a fit and threw a handful of scarab beetles into her mortar. 'I got a letter from Tuney this morning,' she said after a she had forcefully crushed her beetles into a pulp.

'What did she have to say?' Severus asked.

'She told me she got permission to paint the ravage at the Big Ben,' said Lily proudly. 'And she also mentioned that she met a really nice girl at Oxford. Apparently, they bonded when Tuney showed her her painting of the unicorn. Turns out the girl suspected magic had been involved and told Tuney in confidence that she's a Squib.'

'Two non-magical girls surrounded by magic,' mumbled Severus with a nod. 'I can understand how they were able to bond over such a thing.'

'I'm happy for her,' said Lily. 'She found someone who matches with her on both an artistic and a magical level. Tuney also said we might get to meet her this Christmas.'

'Great work, as always,' said Slughorn suddenly as he peaked inside their cauldron. 'Wouldn't expect anything less for you two, of course.'

Before Slughorn wandered off again, Lily stopped him by grabbed him by the sleeve of his robe. 'Sorry Professor,' she said. 'I was just wondering when you were going to teach us more about the Flamels.'

'Nicholas Flamel you mean?' said Slughorn. 'Not for—'

'—And his wife, Perenelle,' Lily added. 'I'm sure she's played her part in the creation of the Philosopher's Stone.'

'That's something that we can bring up to discussion when the time comes,' said Slughorn. 'For now we'll be focussing on Dzou Yen from the Zhou dynasty.'

A loud "bang" interrupted their conversation, and Slughorn rushed his way up to Peter's table that was now entirely covered in soot.

'Looks like Peter forgot to add the armadillo bile,' said Severus.

'Or added too much chopped ginger roots,' said Lily. 'Ginger can be quite explosive I large doses.'

'Reminds me of a ginger I know,' said Severus dryly. He was immediately hit by Lily's spatula again, and this time she wasn't playing it nicely.

'You're really setting my teeth on edge, Sev!' Lily snapped, her spatula still shaking in her hand. 'Stop laughing!'

Severus however, couldn't help but snicker at Lily's growing temper. 'You look pretty when you're being temperamental.'

Lily's eyes went from wide in shock, to narrow and poisonous in a split second. 'Sev, why are you being so _bloody_ difficult today?'

'Like I just said,' said Severus with a grin. 'You look cute when you're angry.'

From the corner of his eye, Severus could see Potter staring at them. Potter had a look in his eye as if he was somehow hoping for Lily to grow really angry. As if he were waiting for the right moment where he could interrupt and play the hero.

Severus shifted his eyes back to Lily again and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. 'I think I know the perfect place we can go to after our lessons for today,' he whispered to her.

'Could you two, please, keep your hands of each other while in class?' said Slughorn from across the room. 'Thank you.'

Lily started to blush. 'Sorry Professor.'

Slughorn sighed, shook his head, and continued to write something on the board about the danger of using too much ginger in potions.

'Looks like you were right about the ginger,' said Severus, quite surprised by his own miscalculation.

Lily reached out from underneath the table and squeezed his leg. 'So, what was this private place you wanted to tell me about?'

…

After his final Charms lesson, Severus found Lily waiting in the Great Hall, and dragged her all the way up to the fifth floor. 'The prefects' bathroom is here,' he said. 'The entrance is right after that statue of Boris the Bewildered.'

Lily looked at Severus with a tilted eye. 'The prefects' bathroom? How come you know where the entrance is?'

'Because some of our friends are prefects, remember,' said Severus as he faced the door. "Mint breath".

The door swung open, revealing a luxurious marble bathroom. 'Woah Sev!' said Lily in amazement after she ran inside. 'This looks more like a small pool than a bathtub!'

Severus shut the door behind him. 'No one can enter as long as we're inside. I told Alice I needed a private place where I could learn how to swim. I'm pretty sure she saw straight through my lie.'

Lily put up a grin and started to observe the many taps that adorned the sides of the bathtub, and twisted one open. 'Smells like lemongrass, this one. Do you want to learn how to swim, Sev?'

'I thought you'd never ask,' said Severus, and pulled his robes over his head.

Lily did the same, and didn't hesitate to take her bra and knickers off. She tested the water with one toe before using the steps to enter the bathtub. 'It's the perfect temperature,' she said as she waded into the water.

Severus took off his boxers and turned off the tap once the water had reached the height of Lily's neck. 'This is the perfect temperature indeed,' he said as he waded his way up to her, and wrapped his arms around her middle.

'Looks like we're being watched,' said Lily as she looked up at the stained-glass mermaid behind her. The mermaid was gently combing her hair, but her eyes were focussed on the couple below her.

With a gentle caress of his hand, Severus moved Lily's hair over her shoulder and started planting kisses in her neck. 'She looks a little bit like you,' he whispered into her ear.

'Well, she is very pretty,' said Lily, and guided Severus's hand down until he reached the sensitive part between her thighs with his fingers. 'Touch me.'

…

Paul was lying on his pillow, purring softly as Severus prepared himself to go to bed. 'Perhaps it's time you bought your own pillow, Paul,' said Severus as he crawled under the sheets. 'You're getting too big to share.'

Paul let out a soft hiss, making it clear that he wasn't willing to give his pillow up any day soon. 'Then I guess I'll have to suffer from a stiff neck tomorrow.'

Severus lied down uncomfortably and scratched Paul behind the ears. There really was no greater pleasure than to see Lily in a state of ecstasy. It was even better when he knew that it was because of him.

He closed his eyes, thinking back on how he had sat on the steps in the bathtub with Lily on top of him. The hot water dripping from her hair down in between her breasts as he felt the warmth of her thighs around him.

Even though they were still able to count on one hand the amount of times they've been this intimate, it easily became a more comfortable happening. They were definitely going back to that prefects' bathroom for another swim, he thought to himself.

The wound on his hand of the blood quill stung as he balled his hand into a fist. The words " _I must not tell lies"_ were slowly starting to form a permanent scar. As much as the very thought of Umbridge and her unorthodox methods angered him, a part of him also understood the words that she had forced him to carve into himself. He was lying, or rather withholding information, which was essentially the same thing as lying. He wondered for how much longer he would be able to keep up the facade, and had the ill sense of foreboding that the need to expose his history would come before the end of the year.


	184. Silver Does

Paul was standing guard in front of the Room of Requirement again. One by one, the members of the Young Order tip-toed inside. Severus grabbed Paul by the waist and carried him inside once he was sure everyone had entered the Room.

Welcome back, everyone,' said Frank. 'Glad to see everyone's here this time around.'

Both Severus and Potter shifted around a little uncomfortably. 'Did we miss out on much last week?' asked Potter.

'We continued to practise the Patronus Charm,' said Frank. 'Some of us have managed to conjure some silver wisps. What I really wanted though, was for Severus to be there so he could explain a plan we had come up with.'

Must we do this now, or can it wait until the end of your lesson?' asked Severus. 'I'd like to get the Patronus down first, if possible.'

'Fine with me,' said Frank. 'I'm leaving the talking up to you though. You're much better at explaining what it is we want to do.'

Severus felt the need to argue that statement, but decided against it the moment he noticed Frank's pleading eyes. 'Of course,' he said stiffly. 'I'll explain afterwards.'

'Good,' said Frank, and clapped his hands to get the group's attention. 'Everyone take your positions, pull out your wands, and start practising.'

'What is it that you want to suggest, Sev?' asked Lily.

'I figured you'd want to know,' said Severus, looking deeply into her pleading eyes, 'but I'm not going to tell you anything until the end of the lesson.'

Lily shot Severus an angry glare. 'It's something dark, isn't it?'

'Yes it is,' said Severus with a grin, 'but before you start complaining, there's something that I wanted to show off to you.'

'You figured out how to do a full corporeal Patronus, don't you?'

'I just might,' said Severus as he twirled his wand between his fingers. 'Just watch—'

'—I got it!' yelled Potter from the other side of the Room. There, a magnificent looking silver stag had erupted from the tip of his wand and started to prance around through the air.

'Well done James!' said Frank, and the rest of the group started clapping.

'Looks like James stole your thunder, Sev,' said Lily as she nudged him in the ribs. 'Think you can do better than that?'

Severus drew a deep breath and had to admit to himself he would rather sink through the floor than face Potter right now. 'I'm not sure,' he said stiffly, 'but I can try.'

The strange desire not to want to be overshadowed by Potter's glory, Severus gracefully raised his wand in the air and thought back to the moment he had met Lily for the first time at the playground. "Expecto Patronum", he said clearly, and from the tip of his wand a silver doe shot straight into the air.

'You've got to be kidding me?' said Potter as he followed the doe dancing around the Room. 'Is this really happening? A doe. A bloody doe?'

Lily was looking wide-eyed at the silver doe. 'She's beautiful, Sev! How did you manage to do that?'

'A bloody doe!' Potter repeated. 'How—'

'Don't you see, Potter,' said Severus with a grin, and started to follow his doe as it chased Potter's stag around. 'We match.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' snapped Potter.

'It means I'm in love with you, Potter,' said Severus.

The group started howling with laughter. Potter's silver stag vanished at once, and the doe landed softly in front of Lily. Even Paul was curious to look at the doe, and kept stretching out his paw in an attempt to touch it.

Potter's face turned into a violent shade of red. 'Not funny Snape,' he sneered.

'Why don't you share with us how you managed to conjure your Patronus, Potter?' Severus suggested. 'I'm sure there are more of us who would love to learn what you just did.'

'That's private,' Potter stated. 'Why don't you share what memory you were holding instead?'

'Because I know the secret on how to conjure a proper Patronus,' said Severus. 'I'm not asking for the memory you used. I'm asking for the way you used it.'

Potter shrugged and held his hands up in the air. 'I honestly don't know. I don't know why this worked better than any other memory; and I've got loads of good memories.'

'Why don't you just tell us, Severus,' said Frank with a gesture towards the group. 'I'm sure the rest of us could use some advice.'

'Alright,' said Severus. 'The problem is, is that we keep searching for happy memories and try to project that. You don't necessarily need a happy memory, but what you need is a powerful memory. Something that carries meaning, even if it's small.'

Paul looked horrified as Severus's doe suddenly vanished into thin air. The rest of the group took their time to think of different memories, and Lily turned to Severus.

'Smart thinking, Sev,' she said. 'I'm still curious to know why your Patronus is a doe.'

'I'll answer you that once you manage to conjure your own Patronus,' said Severus. 'Got any powerful memories?'

'I think so,' said Lily as she held up her wand in front of her. 'I got this.'

Alice was the next one up to conjure a full corporeal Patronus. A large silver toad erupted from the tip of her wand, and started leaping around in circles as a way of greeting.

Lily was starting to grow a little frustrated, as all she had managed to conjure so far were meagre wisps of silver. 'Why does this have to be so hard?' she said. 'Why can't this be as simple as a Levitation Charm?'

From the back of the Room, Sirius had suddenly burst out in tears of laughter. 'Look at Reggie's Patronus!' he barked. 'This is – I can't believe it!'

Regulus looked as if he could not believe what he was seeing either. An enormous silver lion was standing in front of him. His manes formed a ring of silver fire around his neck, and its claws looked like daggers as they shimmered in the light of the floating candles. 'It's a bloody lion,' he whispered. 'A lion.'

'I always knew you were a Gryffindor at heart little brother,' said Sirius as he pulled Regulus into a bone-crushing hug. 'I'm so proud.'

'That, I did not expect,' said Severus to Lily, but Lily wasn't listening. She was now concentrating so hard it looked as if she was about to lay eggs. 'This really shouldn't be so hard,' she gritted through her teeth. 'Why does it have to be so hard?'

Emma's and Mary's Patronus forms were the next one to show up. Mary's ferret was jumping through the air while being playfully chased by Emma's border collie. 'This is so wonderful!' said Emma in delight.

It wasn't long after that Sirius had managed to conjure a large dog, and soon the entire Room was filled with silver creatures running around. The only ones who were still struggles to create a Patronus were Peter and Lily.

'This is nonsense,' said Lily angrily, and nearly tossed her wand across the Room in frustration. 'I excel at Charms. Why can't I do this?'

'For one, getting angry doesn't help trying to conjure something that is positive,' said Severus, amused by her red-headed fury. 'Why don't we go to our new lab later, and I'll help you out.'

Frank clapped his hands to draw attention. 'Looks like most of us got it down. Next week we'll give it another try since some of us are still struggling with it. Severus, I'd like to give the word to you.'

Severus nodded and took his place in the middle of the Room. 'Please gather around, because what I'm about to share with you with be difficult to grasp if not explained thoroughly.'

The group put their wands down and formed a half-circle around Severus. 'What I'm about to tell you, is something that Frank and I believe to be important to know. Is everyone here familiar with the three Unforgivable Curses?'

Everyone raised their hands up in the air. 'Good,' said Severus. 'That means you will know that the only way to protect yourself against the Killing Curse, is to step aside and hope it hits the wall instead. Then there's also the Cruciatus Curse, which is a form of torture that could leave your system permanently damaged, and then there's the Imperius Curse.'

Mary's face suddenly drew whiter than a sheet. 'What is it you're implying, Severus?' she asked timidly.

'That out of the three Unforgivable Curses, the Imperius curse is the only curse you can learn to resist.'

'Are you suggesting that we learn to protect ourselves against it?' asked Evan. 'Because if so, I'm in.'

'I'm glad to see you understand the importance of it, Evan,' said Severus, 'but wanting to learn to resist the Imperius Curse in a familiar setting comes with another price.'

'It's dark magic,' said Lily, looking sceptically up at Severus. 'In fact, it's so dark that it's basically a one-way ticket to Azkaban.'

'Since we're minors, I doubt Azkaban will be our destination,' said Severus. 'On the other hand, if we get caught using it, we might get kicked out of Hogwarts...and lose our wands.'

'That's a very high price for just one Curse,' said Emma. 'Do you think this is something that we should risk?'

'Frank and I figured that the Imperius Curse is something that will be used the most during this war,' Severus explained. 'It can go easily undetected and play people up against each other. Out of the three Unforgivable Curses, this one is the most political. If you learn the signs and practise to resist against the Curse, you can remain free from its influence.'

'Who will cast it?' asked Mary. 'If this is something that we want to practise, someone has to take a great risk in doing so.'

'I will,' said Severus. 'I have no intention on hurting anyone. And Mary, since you know what it's like to be under the influence of the Curse, you need to figure out for yourself if this is something that you want to do.'

'I don't know,' said Mary weakly. 'It frightens me deeply...but on the other hand, if there is a way to learn to protect myself against the Curse, I will gladly take that opportunity.'

'This isn't something that I want to start right away,' said Severus. 'I want everyone to take the rest of the week to think about this plan, but I do urge you to take it into consideration. War doesn't play nicely. It would be good to know what the enemy is capable of.'

'Let's end the lesson for today,' said Frank. 'It's nearly time for dinner.'

'Sev, can we go to our lab?' asked Lily. 'There are some things I want to talk to you about.'

Severus crossed his arms. 'Why do I have the feeling I'm about to be lectured on the dangers of dark magic?' he asked.

'Not really,' said Lily. 'I was actually hoping you still wanted to help me with my Patronus.'

…

'I should've known,' said Severus dryly as he scratched Paul behind the ears. 'I'm being lectured.'

'I'm not lecturing, Sev,' said Lily as she paced around the lab. 'I'm worried.'

'Worried about what, exactly?' asked Severus. 'Me using dark magic, or me abusing it?'

Lily stopped pacing around and looked Severus directly into his eyes. 'Of you getting kicked out of school for using it,' she said. 'I don't want you to risk it. It's...selfish of me, I know...but I don't want you to.'

Severus took a step forwards and pulled Lily into a tight embrace. 'Some things are more important than making it through school.'

'I'm just worried what would happen to you if anyone found out,' mumbled Lily. 'I don't want to lose you.'

Severus grabbed Lily by the shoulders and planted a kiss on her forehead. 'You're making it much worse inside your mind than it really is. So, do you still want to know how to conjure a Patronus?'

'Yes please,' said Lily with a smile. 'I suppose you're right. I worry too much.'

'Grab your wand, and close your eyes,' said Severus. He turned Lily around so he could wrap his arms around her middle. 'Let me tell you what I keep in mind when I cast a Patronus. Keep your eyes closed.'

'Alright,' said Lily as she held up her wand. 'What do you think about?'

'I think about the day we met,' he whispered into her ear. 'I remember looking at you from behind the bushes as you sat on that swing.'

Lily lowered her wand a bit. 'But that's not a particularly happy memory though,' she said. 'I was quite mean to you that day.'

'I know that,' said Severus. 'The thing is, the memory isn't necessarily a happy one, but it is a powerful one. The day I met you, is the day that everything changed for me; and for the best.'

'That makes sense,' said Lily. 'Do you think I should try using that memory as well?'

'Just give it a try,' said Severus as he released her.

Lily held up her wand again and concentrated on the memory Severus had just given to her. "Expecto Patronum" she said with a graceful wave of her wand. Silver wisps sprouted from the tip, but no full form came out. "Expecto Patronum" she said again. The silver light from her wand filled the entire lab this time, but still, no full corporeal Patronus.

'Remember when you came back looking for me,' said Severus. 'Remember how you demanded to know what it meant to be a witch.'

"Expecto Patronum" said Lily again. From the tip of her wand, a silver doe jumped out and filled the lab with her light.

'Open your eyes,' said Severus. 'She's here.'

Lily opened her eyes and gasped. 'It's a doe,' she said teary-eyed. 'A doe...just like yours. How is that possible?'

Paul seemed to be quite happy to see the doe again, and started chasing after it as it pranced around the lab.

'Is it because we're a couple?' asked Lily. 'It is possible for Patronus forms to be the same because of that?'

Severus couldn't help but smile and he saw the doe land in front of Lily. 'Actually, I think the reason why our Patronus forms are the same, is because they stem from the same memories. But that is just my philosophy.'

'We shared almost half our lives together,' said Lily as she tried to touch her Patronus. 'It makes sense.'

Severus kissed Lily right below her jawline, and worked his way down to her collarbone.

'Slughorn's on the other side,' she whispered. 'Perhaps we should go somewhere else.'

'Want to go back to the prefects' bathroom?' Severus suggested. 'We could have that mermaid watch us again while we're going at it.'

Lily let out a snort. 'We should, Sev. We should.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The philosophy behind the Patronus is a highly debatable thing. We know that Tonks's Patronus changed to a wolf when she fell in love with Remus, but Ginny's horse never changed to a stag (or visa versa for the matter), for example. The way that I see it, is that a Patronus finds its roots in where specific memories come from. Since Severus's happy memories are rooted into Lily's existence, it would make sense for his Patronus to adapt to hers. Since Lily shares the same (childhood) memories, her Patronus is the same. (And in that endeavour, we could say that James's Patronus adapted to Lily's, and not the other way around.)
> 
> A/N 'Snape's patronus was a doe,' said Harry, 'the same as my mother's because he loved her for nearly all of his life, from when they were children.'- DH
> 
> Rowling on Twitter (21st of May 2015)  
> "Your patronus only changes if it's eternal love, unchanging - part of you forever."
> 
> A/N reasons I had for Patronus forms, aside from the ones we already know.
> 
> Frank – Vulture: in reference to his mother (because he's a total mama's boy.)  
> Alice – Toad: Symbolically toads are empathetic, positive and pleasant. It's also a wink to Neville's Trevor, as Neville looked a lot like his mother.  
> Evan – Rabbit: Symbol of fertility. Since I made Evan so sexual, it seemed fitting.  
> Emma – Border Collie: Typically English and a symbol for leadership. It suits her attitude and the fact that she's Slytherin's quidditch captain.  
> Mary – Ferret: Symbolically clever, and have keen observation skills. It suits Mary's sceptical character.  
> Regulus – Lion: Just like Sirius is the brightest star in the constellation of Canis Major, Regulus is the brightest star in the constellation of Leo. I do love the sweet irony of a Slytherin having a Gryffindor symbol.


	185. Regulus's Struggle

'Come on, Sev!' said Lily.

'You can do it, Severus!' said Evan.

'You need to be able to fly before we go on that school trip, you know?' said Mary.

'None of you are helping by yelling at me!' Severus snapped back. Lilith, sensing his fear of flying as always, kept standing firmly rooted to the ground.

'We need to do this,' he whispered as he petted Lilith's manes. 'We have to get up into the air at some point.' Lilith whinnied as if to say that flying was the last thing on her mind as long as he was sitting on her back. 'Look, my lady, I know I can't force you to fly, but could you at least try to hover above the ground? At least give me something that would make Professor Kettleburn proud. Please?'

'I don't think begging is going to work, Sev,' said Lily as she walked Ernie in his direction.

'I'm going to fail this class,' said Severus dreadfully. 'For the first time in my life there may just be something that I completely, irrevocably, will never succeed in.'

'Now you're just being a drama queen,' said Lily with a smile, and attempted to pet Lilith on the nose. 'Maybe we could try using bait?'

'Bait?'

'Yes, bait,' Lily confirmed. 'Hagrid feeds the thestrals with dead rabbits and all that, doesn't he? Maybe we could lure her into the sky by using bait.'

'I'm afraid she's too smart to fall into that trap,' said Severus.

Lily looked Severus straight in the eye. 'And I'm afraid your girlfriend is smart enough to know that her boyfriend is the one looking for excuses not to fly.'

'That was a mouth full,' Severus sneered. 'I don't think we'll be flying today. We can try again next lesson.'

'October is coming awfully close, Sev,' said Lily. 'And I don't think Ernie is going to want to share me with you.'

Ernie bobbed his head as if to say he agreed with Lily. 'See? Ernie doesn't want to share.'

'Then I suppose Ernie and I will have to have a little chat later on,' said Severus. 'I better go bring Lilith back in to the woods with the rest of the herd.'

Severus leaned in to turn Lilith around and trotted off into the Forbidden Forest. Lily was right though. Their trip to the Isle of Skye was in a few weeks, and so far Lilith hadn't even bothered to spread her wings for him. Grudgingly he thought to himself that everything would've been so much easier if he had been allowed to apparate. Several ideas started to plot inside his head to make it happen, until suddenly a movement in the woods caught his attention.

Hoping that whatever was out there was unable to see Lilith, he hid behind a thick tree. Severus non-verbally placed a Supersensory Charm on himself so he could see around the edges of the tree, and saw someone standing there that caused his heart to skip a beat.

It was Regulus, talking to none other than his aunt Bellatrix. Once again, having learned how to read lips from his mother came in handy in these types of situations.

A large part of the conversation must have already taken place. All Severus had been able to make out was something about a plan that most likely involved Regulus's cooperation.

With a soft "pop" Bellatrix disapparated, and Severus knew this was his chance to catch Regulus before he was able to make it back to the grounds.

" _Incarcerous!_ " yelled Severus. Thick ropes sprouted from the tip of his wand and wrapped itself tightly around Regulus.

'Bloody hell!' yelled Regulus as he tried to wiggle himself free. 'Who did that? Where are you? _Show yourself_!'

Severus jumped off Lilith and ushered her to Hagrid's hut. With his foot he turned Regulus around on his back, and grinned.

'What in M—'

'There's no need to yell...you know,' said Severus calmly. 'You see, I was just riding my horse into the Forbidden Forest, and then suddenly...I see you. Talking to one of our most wanted Death Eaters, who just so happens to be your beloved aunt. And now my question for you is, why?'

Regulus looked Severus straight in the eye, but kept his mouth firmly shut and shook his head.

'It's a shame you were taught how to use Occlumency,' said Severus as he pressed the ball of his feet deeper into Regulus's stomach. 'Since I can't look inside your mind...I'm afraid I must switch to more unconventional methods. Since you don't want to answer my question as to _why_ you were meeting here with your aunt, I shall now ask _how_ she managed to sneak passed the Dementors.'

'Severus,' said Regulus timidly. 'I think there are some things happening right now that you wouldn't understand.'

'Try me,' said Severus. 'It's quite obvious that the Dementors aren't loyal to the Ministry, are they?'

'Dementors aren't loyal to anyone, really,' said Regulus. 'Could you please get these ropes off of me?'

'Not until you make it very clear to me who's side you're on,' said Severus, and pointed his wand at Regulus's face. 'Make me understand.'

'You remember the locket we discussed a long time ago? Slytherin's locket?' said Regulus. 'You remember I told you that the Dark Lord always carries it around his neck, right?'

'Right,' said Severus. In his mind he quickly clicked back to his encounter with the Dark Lord over the summer. Nothing in his memory served that the Dark Lord had been wearing the locket, unless he had been hiding it underneath his robes. 'What about it?'

'He's looking for a place to hide it,' said Regulus, desperate for breath. 'And he's making auntie Bella look for a place to do so. That's all I can tell you.'

Severus bend over so closely that he could see the grey in Regulus's eyes. 'I will not hesitate to use Veritaserum on you if I must. Do you know where he wants to hide it? Do you know what these things even are?'

'I don't know,' spat Regulus. 'Do you, Severus? Because I got the feeling that you know so much more than you're actually sharing with us. I know you met the Dark Lord this past summer. And I'm also pretty sure that you haven't told your girlfriend about this particular detail.'

With a swift motion of his wand, Severus vanished the ropes and grabbed Regulus by the collar of his robe. 'Why are you telling me this now? Why couldn't you have told me that the moment we sat foot inside Hogwarts at the beginning of the year?'

Regulus raised an eyebrow. 'Oh hello, Severus. Had a nice summer? I'm just coming here to tell you that I spoke with the Dark Lord. He sends his regards, and wants you to know that he's still very much fascinated with your very existence.'

'Funny,' said Severus as he roughly pulled Regulus back on his feet. 'Why haven't you told me?'

'Because...I don't know,' said Regulus with a shrug.

'Regulus, how can I trust you if you're unwilling to share anything with me?'

'It's complicated, alright?' said Regulus as he pushed himself away from Severus.

'Then make me understand.'

Regulus shook his head. 'I can't, Severus! You already know how involved my family is with the Dark Lord's cause.'

'I don't care about your family's involvement. I care about yours.'

'There are some things I know that I will not be sharing with you, Severus,' said Regulus. 'I better go.'

'Where did the Dementors go?' asked Severus.

Regulus raised his arms in the air. 'Well, I know how to conjure a Patronus Charm now, don't I?'

'Can I still trust you, Regulus?'

Regulus shook his head. 'I wouldn't trust me,' he said darkly.

'Please, don't tell Lily of my whereabouts this past summer,' said Severus.

Regulus crossed his arms. 'I won't if you won't tell my brother about this.'

'Then you've got yourself a deal,' said Severus. 'We better head back before they start searching for us.'

Together, they made their way back to the edge of the forest in silence. In his mind, Severus had come up with at least half a dozen ways he could trick Regulus into drinking a truth serum, but figured that the risk of Regulus exposing anything to Lily after that was too big to pull it off.

'Regulus,' said Severus once they had reached the edge. 'One more thing before we go back to the castle.'

'What it is, Severus?'

'Who's side are you really on?'

'My own, for now. If that makes any sense?'

'It does.'

…

'Sorry Sev,' said Lily as she ran up to him at the Gryffindor table. 'I won't be having any dinner tonight.'

'Did something come up?' he asked, and only just noticed a large part of the group was missing.

Lily leaned in closer so only Severus could hear. 'Regulus just broke up with Mary,' she whispered, and with her eyes she pointed at the Slytherin's table where Regulus was sitting. 'I don't know why, but she's in the dorm room crying her eyes out. Save me some apple pie, will you?'

'Will do,' said Severus, and watched Lily bounce off to the grand staircase. At the same time, Sirius had walked in with a gloomy look on his face.

'What happened to you, Padfoot?' asked Potter. 'What exactly is going on around here?'

Sirius slummed down into a seat, blocking Regulus from view. 'I just talked to Professor Kettleburn in the entrance hall. He just told me my hippogriff had died.'

'Your hippogriff died?' Potter repeated. 'It died? How did it die?'

'Professor Kettleburn isn't sure yet,' said Sirius. 'After class he went through his knees and collapsed. His guess is that it was just old age, but I can't help but feel guilty about it. I made his last flight with him, so who knows I might have done something wrong.'

'Do you think Professor Kettleburn will have a replacement for you?' asked Remus. 'Otherwise you'll end up having to share a horse with someone else.'

'I don't think he could just get me another horse on such a short notice,' said Sirius.

'How about getting yourself a motorbike?' Severus suggested. 'All you need to do is add a couple charms to make it fly, and then you could soar through the sky without being an added burden on another horse.'

'I hope you're being sarcastic, Severus,' said Sirius. 'Riding a motorbike doesn't exactly quality for Care of Magical Creatures.'

'I'm sure you could help someone else look after their horse,' said Severus. 'I thought you wanted a motorbike? Now seems to be the chance.'

Sirius stared down at his empty plate and sighed. 'I'd rather just have my hippogriff back,' he said. 'But perhaps you're right Severus. I did save up enough money this past summer for a second-hand bike. What was the type you were riding again?'

'A Triumph Bonneville T one-twenty,' said Severus. 'If you do plan on getting one, don't be surprised if it has suddenly gone missing.'

Sirius tilted his head like a dog and looked Severus straight in the eye. 'Do you plan on stealing my motorbike?'

'I just might,' said Severus dryly. 'I've been working on a new project since this summer. I might have to use your motorbike for some tests.'

'What kind of tests?' asked Sirius. 'What new project?'

'Motorbike oil,' said Severus. 'There are hundreds of different types of oil and none of them work in the way that I want it to. I've had less trouble creating the Wolfsbane Potion than I have with the bloody motorbike oil.'

'I can sense some frustration quivering in your voice,' said Sirius. 'What do you even need oil for?'

Severus shoved his plate of food aside and folded his hands. 'If you get a motorbike, I will teach you everything there is to know.'

Sirius grinned. 'Why do I have the feeling you miss your bike?'

'If you get yourself a motorbike,' said Severus in a serious manner, 'I will name my new product "Greasy Git Motor Oil" entirely dedicated in your honour. How does that sound?'

'Sound like you've been planning that for a while now,' said Sirius. 'Pleasure doing business with you, Severus. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go mourn my hippogriff and write a letter to the Potters.'

Sirius left the table, and Severus was able to see Regulus across the great hall again. He was sitting next to Avery. A thing he had avoided doing the moment he joined the Young Order.

Whatever it was that was going on with Regulus, Severus knew in his heart that Regulus wasn't planning on joining Dumbledore's Order any more. Regulus was much deeper involved in the Dark Lord's cause than he had initially believed, and he knew trouble was about to come.


	186. The Triumph of Sirius Black

It was early in the morning on the last Sunday of September. The last rays of the summer sun were creeping through the leaves of the trees on the grounds. Some of which had already turned gold. Near the edge of the Forbidden Forest, a half-giant, a Kneazle, and two dark haired young men were standing around an object that looked foreign to the wizarding world.

'Still can't believe you managed to do this,' said Severus as he looked at the motorbike in front of him in awe, and a hint of jealousy. 'How?'

'The Potters arranged it for me,' said Sirius proudly. 'Fleamont said this Triumph was built in nineteen fifty-nine. I used a Levitation Charm to get it here though. I honestly did not expect a bike to be this heavy.'

'It's exactly the same as mine too,' said Severus as he observed the exhaust pipes. 'Except this one is white instead of black.'

'It looks shiny,' said Hagrid. 'What exactly is it?'

'It's a form of Muggle transportation,' said Severus. 'Just like auto mobiles, only this thing rides on two wheels instead of four.'

'Sounds quite magical to me,' said Hagrid. 'Why don't ye two take it to the quidditch pitch, eh? Give it a try o'er there.'

Sirius was about to pull his wand again, but Severus held him back. 'You're going to learn how to operate thing like a proper Muggle,' he said. 'Take it off its standard, grabbed it by the handles and push it.'

Severus picked up Paul and marched his way to the quidditch pitch, while Sirius struggled to balance his bike all the way there. 'I do hope it's got petrol in it,' said Severus.

'What's petrol?' asked Sirius.

'I guess not,' said Severus. 'Then again, electronic devices don't work at Hogwarts, so it's inevitable we'll have to use magic for some things to work.'

Once Sirius had managed to drag his motorbike unto the quidditch pitch, he nearly dropped it from exhaustion. 'This is ridiculous,' he growled. 'Next time I'm going to levitate it again.'

'It's called using your muscles,' said Severus as he put the motorbike on its standard. 'A concept that, unfortunately, a lot of wizards are quite unfamiliar with.'

'Never thought I'd hear you favour the Muggle way over the magical way,' said Sirius. 'Now, what do we do?'

Severus pushed his hands to his sides and shot Sirius a puzzled look. 'I'm surprised how little you know, considering how many posters of motorbikes you got hanging in your room.'

'Well yes but – but wait, how you do know I got posters of motorbikes all over my wall?'

'Regulus told me,' said Severus in a poor attempt to save himself. 'Along with a whole collection of scarcely clad Muggle girls I might add.'

Sirius grinned and bobbed his head. 'I did it to piss off my parents. Frankly, I'd do anything to piss off my parents. Like wearing this Sex Pistols t-shirt around the house, for example,' he said as he unzipped the leather jacket Lily had given him. 'Or put up really loud music.'

'You're well on the road to becoming a true greaser,' said Severus. 'Hop on, grab your wand, and I'm going to tell you everything I know.'

…

'We made it fly!' said Sirius proudly as he ran inside the Room of Requirement. 'My bike! We made it fly! That thing goes like a hundred miles an hour or something! THAT ENGINE IS SO LOUD –'

—'Save me,' begged Severus as he hid behind Lily's back. 'I think he's gone mad.'

Lily turned around and let out a snort. 'Looks like your bonding time with Sirius has been a success.'

'If you mean his bonding time with his new motorbike, then yes,' Severus huffed. 'Thought I had a strange obsession with my bike. Turns out it can be worse.'

'Why don't you get your motorbike shipped over?' asked Lily.

'Lilith will never forgive me if I did,' said Severus. 'As for right now, there's something else we need to focus about.'

Lily's smile quickly turned into a frown. 'Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Sev? It's an incredible risk you're taking.'

'It's a risk I must take,' he said as he stepped forward. 'If everyone is willing to participate, that is.'

'Oi Padfoot!' yelled Potter. 'Where's your little brother?'

Sirius shrugged. 'Not here. Guess he doesn't want to since Mary's here – sorry Mary.'

'That's alright,' said Mary gloomily. 'I don't know what I would've done had he actually been here.'

'You know, Sev,' Lily whispered, 'Mary still hasn't spilled the beans as to why she and Regulus broke up in the first place.'

'He hasn't told me anything either,' said Severus, biting his tongue as he felt tie lie slip through his teeth. 'But it's not really up to us, is it?'

Lily sighed. 'I suppose you're right, Sev. Regulus just worries me sometimes, if you know what I mean?'

'I do,' said Severus, and clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. 'I need everyone to gather around – that includes you, Sid Vicious – and listen carefully.'

'Will do Ozzy,' said Sirius, and stopped bouncing around the room. 'We're going to work on the Imperius Curse today, right?'

'Could you say it any louder, Sid?' said Severus as he rolled his eyes. 'Yes, we are going to work, or rather, learn how to protect yourself, against the Imperius Curse. But first I need to know if anyone objects to this?'

Mary carefully stuck a hand up in the air. 'I do want to learn how to protect myself against it. I really do, it's just – it's just that I don't want to go first.'

'You won't have to go first,' said Severus. 'What matters most is that what we are about to do here has to remain inside these walls. Not only will I get into a great amount of trouble, but so will all of you for participating with me if anyone of the staff finds out. Is that clear?'

'Clear,' mumbled everyone in the Room.

'Good,' said Severus. 'Who's willing to volunteer first?'

Frank was about to step forward when Sirius pushed him back. 'I'll go,' he said. 'I have an entire family holding grudges against me. I need to know how this works.'

Severus raised up his wand and held it closely against Sirius's chest. 'Do you trust me?' he asked.

'I do,' said Sirius with a nod.

'Good,' said Severus. 'The moment the curse hits you, you will start to feel light-headed, and everything you do will suddenly seem like a very good idea. I need you to find that inner voice that tells you what you're doing is out of the ordinary. Understood?'

'Understood,' said Sirius, although he didn't look remotely as confident as he had when he pushed Frank aside. 'Hit me with it.'

Severus waved his wand and mumbled "Imperio". A yellow light hit Sirius straight in the chest. His eyes drooped down, and the corners of his mouth curled into a grin. It looked as if he had hit the devil's lettuce a little too hard, and some members of the group started to snicker at the sight of it.

'You're laughing now,' said Severus in a serious manner. 'The danger of this is that I have complete control over him. I could make him start hopping like a bunny, or make him run so he will smack against a wall. I could make him tell lies, or, I could have him jump out of a window and have him fall to his death.'

The snickering immediately stopped the moment he mentioned that he could force Sirius to kill himself. 'Bark for me, Sirius.'

Sirius started barking and stuck his tongue out like a happy dog. 'Go down on all four and wag your tail for me,' Severus ordered.

Sirius went down on his hands and knees and started crawling around the room while shaking his arse. He looked up at everyone in the Room as if he was begging for treats.

'It's not so funny any more, is it?' said Severus darkly. 'Get up and start dancing like a ballerina, Sirius.'

In a split-second Sirius jumped back up on two legs and started making pirouettes. Not caring that he was nearly kicking his friends in the face. 'Run up to the wall, Sirius.'

Sirius stopped dancing and quickly dashed off to the opposite end of the Room. Everyone held their breath as he was about to hit the wall at full-speed, when suddenly his feet turned to prevent him from ramming his face against the wall.

'Spongify!' yelled Severus. The spell hit the wall just in time. Sirius smacked against the wall, which had turned to rubber, with his shoulder, and sank down to his knees.

Severus ran his way up to Sirius to make sure he hadn't been injured. 'I'm...alright...' said Sirius in between shallow breaths, and forced his way to stand up straight again.

'What happened?' asked Severus. 'I saw you turning your feet as you were running up to the wall.'

'Something didn't feel right, I think?' said Sirius as they walked their way back to the group. 'I don't know what happened. What happened?'

'You make a cute puppy, Padfoot,' said Potter with a grin.

Sirius nodded in agreement. 'Well I already knew that.'

'And a pretty ballerina too,' added Peter.

'Always knew I could dance,' said Sirius with his familiar doggish grin. 'It wasn't until I started running to the wall that I knew something was a bit off.'

'The fact that you knew something was off is a victory on its own,' said Severus, genuinely impressed. 'If you keep focussing on that, you might learn to snap out of it even sooner.'

Sirius looked quite pleased with himself as he took his place back in the circle. 'Frank, do you want to go next?' asked Severus.

'I do,' said Frank. 'But first, I'd like to propose an idea.'

'Do tell.'

'I got a feeling that some of us might learn how to fight the curse a bit quicker than others,' said Frank as he switched to his teaching voice. 'I want to suggest that the ones who learn how to fight it, will also learn how to use it.'

Severus raised an eyebrow at Frank's suggestion. 'That's quite a statement,' he said. 'Care to elaborate?'

'Consider it an exercise of trust,' said Frank. 'If we're not willing to hand over our full control to someone else, how could we possibly rely on each other out there in the uprising war?'

Several members of the group bobbed their heads in agreement. 'You make a fair statement,' said Severus. 'Now, are you willing to be my next victim? '

'Please don't make me do anything too embarrassing,' said Frank as he took his position and faced Severus.

'Don't worry,' said Severus as he held his wand up to Frank's chest. 'I'll only have you cheer for the Ravenclaw team, and make you go down on one knee and propose to your girlfriend.'

'Oh, don't you—'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Fun fact! Gary Oldman (Sirius) played Sid Vicious (bass player of the Sex Pistols) in the 1986 film Sid&Nancy: Love Kills. If you want to see a very young Gary Oldman getting drugged and destroying shit, I highly recommend it.


	187. The Marauder's Map I

'What do you mean, you don't have your Invisibility Cloak?' asked Severus. 'Did you misplace it? Did you—'

'Well it is an _Invisibility_ Cloak,' said Potter nonchalantly. 'Not exactly a hard thing to lose, is it?'

'You lost it? You actually _fucking_ lost it? Potter why—'

Potter held up his hand and shook his head to stop Severus from talking. 'Hold your horses there, Snape,' he said. 'I didn't lose it. Dumbledore asked if he could borrow it after he caught me sneaking around with it.'

'Why would Dumbledore need to borrow—'

'—He wanted to research it because he was curious, alright? Him and I made the deal he could borrow it so I wouldn't have to serve detention.'

'Then what about Remus?' asked Severus angrily. 'The full moon is tonight and he's going to need it.'

'You're the bloody potions genius,' Potter snapped back. 'Why don't you just brew up some invisibility potion if you truly believe he's going to need it. Besides, with Umbridge roaming around he's much better off listening to what she wants and go to the Shrieking Shack by himself. I can still feel the scars burning in my hand.'

Severus looked down at his own hand. " _I must not tell lies_ " was still visibly carved into the back of his hand. Not a single potion or salve so far had helped to fade it out. He had always known that Umbridge was a foul woman, but for her to use this kind of dark magic was something he had never expected. Not even from her.

'If it makes you feel any better, Snape,' Potter added. 'Peeves got the other ghosts to start hunting her down in her sleep. Nearly-headless Nick said he overheard her mumbling something about ghosts belonging in graveyards, so now they want to put her in her place.'

'Hem hem!' Umbridge's voice echoed through the Great Hall. 'Can I have your attention please?'

'If this is another one of her stupid Educational Decrees I'll start screaming,' mumbled Lily.

'Something has been brought under my attention that requires another Edu—'

Lily bit on her fist to prevent herself from throwing a tantrum. 'Those decrees will be the death of me some day,' she growled. 'What is it this time?'

'Boys and girls are no longer allowed to stand closer than two feet from each other,' Sirius recited. 'Good thing you're not a girl, Moony. At least we can still hold hands whenever we want.'

'And here I am, thinking you had left me for Severus,' said Remus with a snort. 'How is the whole motorbike thing going anyway?'

'Quite well,' said Sirius. 'I know how to use the gears now. It can fly, and Severus put some of his self-invented oil in it to make it run smoothly.'

'I finally managed to make some oil that actually works,' said Severus, gleaming with a hint of pride. 'Took me long enough.'

'Did you and Lily get a new lab from Professor Slughorn by any chance?' asked Potter.

'Yes,' said Lily. 'Why do you want to know?'

Potter shrugged. 'Just wondering. You two have been disappearing an awful lot lately.'

'I can assure you, it's not just the lab we've been disappearing to, Potter,' said Severus with a sneer.

'—For the sake of unification amongst house members, every student must sit with their own house as of tomorrow morning.'

Nearly every student in the Great Hall suddenly rose up in protest. 'BUT WHY?' Frank blurted out. 'WHAT PURPOSE DOES IT SERVE?'

Umbridge lowered his gaze to the Gryffindor table, and exposed her pointy teeth with an ugly grin. 'If you had listened more carefully, mister Longbottom...you would've known that it is meant for the unification of members among the four houses.'

'But Professor, that makes—'

'—I don't want to hear any arguing, mister Longbottom,' said Umbridge sharply. 'This is the new Educational Decree you must abide to.'

'What a total c—' Alice prevented Frank from swearing by slapping her hand against his mouth. 'What were you thinking?' she gritted through her teeth. 'She could have you expelled for calling her that!'

Severus looked over Sirius's shoulder to the Slytherin table. 'Sirius,' he said darkly. 'Have you noticed that your little brother has been talking to Avery again?'

Sirius frowned and craned his neck to see what Severus was talking about. 'Looks like they are indeed talking again. That can't be good.'

'Do you think he might sell out our group?' asked Severus.

'I'm not sure,' mumbled Sirius under his breath. 'I don't know why he suddenly turned around again and talks with the enemy, but I do believe he still got some good in him. He can conjure a Patronus, after all.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus. 'I'll keep an eye on him where I can. I hope you'll do the same.'

'You have my word.'

…

'So that motor oil worked, eh?' asked Lily.

'It's close to perfect,' said Severus proudly as he held up a phial of the thick liquid. 'Sirius's bike runs smoothly with it. Maybe if I—'

'—Is that professor Slughorn?' said Lily under her breath. 'I thought he said he was going to tutor some students?'

Severus turned his ear to the wall and listened carefully. 'Looks like there's someone walking around in the classroom. Doesn't sound like Slughorn's heavy footsteps though.'

'Could just be some student getting supplies,' said Lily. 'Or the caretaker.'

'You wait here,' said Severus. 'I'll go take a look.' He tapped on the wall of their lab and waited until the archway had formed. It first he thought it may have just been his imagination, but the edge of a swishing cloak out of the dungeon's entry way betrayed otherwise.

Quickly Severus sprinted off after the onlooker, shut the door of the dungeon behind him and shot a Tripping Charm. The student fell several feet forward before he hit the ground with a loud thud.

'Levicorpus!' yelled Severus. Potter's face appeared as his hair fell out of his face and dangled upside down in front of Severus. Potter must have hit the ground hard. His nose was bleeding and was struggling to breathe properly.

'Put me down Snabe!' yelled Potter. The blood dripping down to his forehead made him appear more furious than ever.

Severus brought his face as close to Potter as humanly possible, and looked his sharply in the eye. 'I won't let you down...until you tell me why you're spying on my girlfriend. You got thirty seconds, or I will find another part of your body to break.'

Potter was struggling to speak when suddenly Severus noticed that Potter was clutching something tightly into his hand. He tried to snatch it, but Potter held on to it with a shaking fist. 'No!' he sputtered. 'You can't 'ave dat!'

Not wanting to play any games with Potter, Severus shot a Stinging Hex straight against Potter's arm, causing him to cry out in pain and drop whatever it was that he was holding.

Severus snatched it up from the ground and took a closer look. 'Reveal yourself,' he mumbled as he tapped the seemingly normal piece of parchment, but nothing happened. 'What is this, Potter?' he asked, knowing very well that he had seen it before.

'Nobing important,' sputtered Potter, who's face was now turning bright right.

'Not important you say?' said Severus nonchalantly. 'Then I suppose I might as well rip it up.'

'NO!' cried Potter as he flailed around with his arms. 'Don't do dat!'

Severus released the tightened grip on the parchment and waved it around like a fan. 'Potter. If I were to tell this thing my name...would it insult me? Will it tell me to keep my abnormally large nose out of other people's business, or will it tell me that I'm a greasy git that needs to wash his hair?'

'It insults anyone, reaby,' said Potter with a straight face.

'I know you're lying, Potter!' snapped Severus. 'I know this thing is much more than just some parchment that likes to insult anyone who reads it! WHAT IS THIS?'

'None ob your business, Snabe!' yelled Potter. 'Just put me—'

Potter's eyes started to droop and it seemed that he was about to lose consciousness. 'Ibs a secret,' he faintly managed to blurt out.

'I will not hesitate to leave you hanging here and a grab a bottle of Veritaserum,' said Severus. 'Tell me what it is, and I will let you go.'

Potter understood that Severus had no intention on letting him down if he lost consciousness. 'It's a mab. A mab o Hogwarbs.'

Severus's lips curled into a smile and lowered his wand. 'A map of Hogwarts you say? _Liberacorpus_.'

With a thud, Potter fell down on the ground where he remained lying still.

'A map of Hogwarts,' repeated Severus as he looked at the parchment with a new set of eyes. 'With all of its secret passageways?'

'Yes,' mumbled Potter as he whined in pain. 'All dat Peter was able to discober.'

'So let me guess. Almost all of Hogwarts is mapped out on here, except for the lab that Lily and I go to...because it's brand new.'

'Yes,' said Potter. 'I wan—'

'—You wanted to know what Lily was up to with me,' said Severus. 'I know what that means. It means you are a pervert who likes to stalk the girl you're interested in. This map doesn't just show Hogwarts, does it? It shows the people in it. Where they are, and where they're going. Am I wrong?'

'No,' said Potter, who was struggling to stand on his feet. 'Homonculous Charm.'

'Brilliant,' mumbled Severus. 'This is brilliant...thanks Potter. Since I'm sure you won't be willing to give me the password to reveal it, I'll find a way to figure it out myself.'

Severus turned around on the balls of his feet and made his way back to the lab, leaving Potter behind in a puddle of his own bloody mess.

'Where did you run off to?' asked Lily once Severus had returned. 'I don't trust that grin on your face.'

Severus's grin widened and leaned in to give Lily a kiss. 'It was Potter. I always knew he was the stalking type,' he said as he held up the parchment he stole, 'and now, I know he and the rest of his gang have been able to move around this castle.'

'I think I've seen that before,' said Lily as she took the parchment out of Severus's hands. 'What is it?'

'A map of Hogwarts,' said Severus as he sat down. 'And not just any map. A map with all the secret passageways they've discovered, and the people that are in it.'

'Nifty,' said Lily admirably. 'How does it work?'

'Not sure yet,' said Severus. 'I plan on tackling Remus about that.'

'Does it really show where everybody is?' asked Lily.

'Potter said they managed to place a Homonculous Charm on it,' said Severus. 'I must admit...I'm quite impressed with their creation.'

'Impressive...but also dangerous,' Lily added. 'What if this fell into the wrong hands. Imagine this falling into the hands of any supporters of You-Know-Who. They would be able to find anyone around here.'

'All the more reason to learn how it works, and it use it against them,' said Severus. 'But for now, how about we go to a more...private place?'

A mischievous twinkle formed in Lily's eyes. 'And where do you plan on taking me, Sev?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I am aware that Rowling wrote on Pottermore that James inherited the cloak after his parents died, meaning that he most likely never had it while attending Hogwarts. Since this bit of information wasn't published until after I had him sneaking around with it, there isn't much that I can do about it.


	188. The Marauder's Map II

'Hello Remus,' whispered Severus into his ear as he pulled him behind a large bookshelf. 'I think it's time you and I had a little _chat_.'

'I know you got our map, Severus,' Remus growled. 'But before we go into that discussion, thank you for your condolences about my miserable transformation last night.'

'You're still receiving all of your supplies, right?' asked Severus, who was far more concerned that Umbridge might have started checking the owl post rather than worry over Remus's well-being.

'Yes I am,' said Remus. 'Any reason I should be concerned about that?'

'Not sure,' said Severus, 'but I'm thinking that perhaps Lily and I should brew some for you just in case.'

'I won't say no to that,' said Remus with a nod. 'Why do I have a feeling you're trying to bribe me with knowledge on the map?'

Severus couldn't help but grin and pulled the piece of parchment from the pocket inside of his robes. 'You know me well. Perhaps a little too well. But yes, I would like to know how this works.'

'Will you give it back to me if I told you?' asked Remus. 'Not that I don't trust you with it, but it's something that I prefer to keep among the friends whom I created this with.'

'Fair enough,' said Severus. 'Now, what was the initial purpose of creating this?'

Remus's face revealed that his answer wasn't going to be pretty. 'Several,' he said. 'And I must admit, you were the main source of inspiration for it. That way – especially James and Sirius – would be able to track you down at all times to hex you when you least expected it.'

'That explains why it tries to insult me when I try to reveal its content,' said Severus dryly. 'Go on.'

'We later found out,' Remus continued, 'that the more places we discovered and added, the more places we found to keep me hidden during the full moon. We found a total of seven secret passageways that all lead to Hogsmeade, which is why we're able to throw so many parties in the Gryffindor common room. We know how to avoid the caretaker. Where Peeves is –'

'—I got the gist,' interrupted Severus before Remus was able to rattle on any further. 'How does it work?'

'The guys will kill me for this,' growled Remus as he pulled out his wand. 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.' With a gentle tap on the parchment with the tip of his cypress wand, red blots started to appear on the parchment. The ink spread itself out until the names of the four marauders revealed itself.

'—Are proud to present, The Marauder's Map,' mumbled Severus under his breath. Quickly he started to leaf through the many layers that the map contained, finding the names of teachers, students and other ghosts walking around the many passages and rooms. 'Brilliant,' he said as he had found himself accompanied by Remus on the library's page. 'Incredible.'

'We're all quite proud of what we have created,' said Remus with a grin as he bent over to look at the map. 'There's James, still in the Hospital Wing. Too proud to admit he got his arse kicked last night...and there's Dumbledore in his office, pacing around. He's been doing that a lot more since the arrival of Umbridge and the Dementors. And there's Lily with Alice and Mary by the stables on the grounds.'

Severus folded up the map, ready to hand it back over to Remus. 'Thank you for telling me what it is,' he said sincerely. 'There are two things I want to be clear about.'

'Sure,' said Remus, half-attempting to pull the map out of Severus's hands.

'Be aware of the power you're holding,' said Severus darkly. 'If this falls into the wrong hands, it can be used against anyone. Just imagine what this can do if it falls into the hands of the Dark Lord. Keep it secret, and keep it safe.'

'Understood,' said Remus, biting his lip at the mention of the Dark Lord. 'And the other thing?'

'If I ever find myself in need of this, I want to be able to borrow it from you.'

'Of course,' said Remus, who was seemingly relieved when he finally managed to wiggle the map from between Severus's fingers. 'Now what?'

'I'm going to the grounds and visit Lily,' said Severus. 'I still need to learn to fly with Lilith before we head to Skye.'

'Mischief managed,' mumbled Remus before he tucked the map securely in his pocket. 'I'll join you. I still need to feed my horse as - is madam Pince staring at us?'

Severus looked over his shoulder and saw madam Pince staring with an angry glare mixed in with a puzzled look. 'She can't hear us,' he assured him. 'I casted a Muffliato charm on her before I dragged you out here.'

'That explains why she's staring but not saying anything,' said Remus. 'We better get out of here before the spells wears off.'

…

'Hey Sev!' said Lily happily as Severus suddenly wrapped his arms around her. 'How did you know I was here?'

'A piece of parchment told me,' he said as he planted a kiss in her neck. 'I have decided that Lilith has to fly with me today, or I will have to leave her behind and hop on Sirius's bike.'

'That sounds rather desperate,' said Remus as he started cleaning the wings of his Aethonan horse. 'Having to hold on to Sirius for dear life, that is.'

'Which is exactly why I'm going to force Lilith to fly this time,' said Severus, who could see Lilith popping out of the woods from a distance. 'It's now or never.'

As a well-practised rider, Severus hopped on to Lilith and secured his feet tightly behind her wings. 'Fly,' he demanded, but a slight tremor in his voice betrayed that he wasn't as determined as he made himself believe. 'If you don't, you won't get to go to Skye with me.'

Lilith stomped with her hoof in frustration, but still didn't move an inch forward. 'Sev, I think I got an idea,' said Lily suddenly. 'You think she could carry the both of us?'

'And do you, Lilith?' asked Severus.

Lilith shrugged, and Severus took it as a sign that the only way to find out was by trying. Lily drew a sprint and jumped just high enough for Severus to pull her up behind him. 'I have to admit,' said Lily as she wrapped her arms tightly around Severus, 'it's much more frightening to sit on a horse I can't see.'

'You're not helping if you're scared,' said Severus bluntly. 'I need her to trust me enough so she knows I won't scream and throw a temper when she does fly up.'

With a gentle tap of her ankle, Lily got Lilith to start walking towards the quidditch pitch. 'Thestrals are extremely fast flyers, aren't they?' asked Lily.

'According to Professor Kettleburn, they are,' said Severus. 'Not sure how to feel about that.'

No more words were exchanged until they had reached the quidditch pitch. The Hufflepuff team was holding a practise session. Frank caught sight of them as soon as he looked down, and called in for a short break. 'Well well,' he said as he landed his broom right beside Lily and Severus. 'Here to find out of Thestrals can replace broomsticks?'

'As much as the idea of air polo appeals to me,' said Lily with a snort, 'we're here to basically force Lilith to start flying. Sev needs her to fly at least once before we head to the Isle of Skye.'

Frank looked up at Lily with a tilted eye. 'What's polo?' he asked.

'It's a Muggle sport performed on horse – oh never mind that now,' said Lily. 'Could we have the ring for ten minutes, and that quaffle you're holding, please?'

'It's all yours,' said Frank as he tossed the quaffle to Lily. 'I'll be back in a bit.'

As Frank sprinted off after his team mates, Lily decided to take matters into her own hands. 'How about we play a little game, Lilith,' she said sharply. 'Those hoops should be big enough for you to fly through. We're going to fly up. I will toss this quaffle through one of the hoops, and it's up to you to catch it on the other side.'

'Are you sure this is a good idea?' asked Severus with a lump in his throat. 'What if we hit our heads against one of those rings?'

'You won't if you lay low,' said Lily with an air of Gryffindor bravery. 'All we need to make her do is fly. The least we could do is try to make it a bit more fun.'

Lilith had craned her neck and had her eyes firmly set on the quaffle, as if to say she was ready for whatever Lily had come up with. 'You think she's ready, Sev?' asked Lily.

'I think she is,' said Severus, and clasped his legs as tightly against Lilith's body as possible. 'Let's get this over with.'

Lily gave the signal for Lilith to start galloping. Once Lilith had reached her high speed, she spread her wings and flew up in an almost vertical direction. Severus had lowered his head and closed his eyes the moment the wind started to rush past his ears. 'Come on Sev!' yelled Lily as she forced him to take a hold of the quaffle. 'Time to start trusting your horse.'

Severus drew a deep breath, exhaled, and opened his eyes to see what was ahead of him. Lilith had started to fly circles around the quidditch pitch. Struggling hard not to look down, he kept his eyes focussed straight ahead of him. With his right arm wrapped around Lilith's neck and with the quaffle secured in his left hand, he waited until they had come close to the middle hoop and tossed it through.

As if Lilith had suddenly turned on a secret internal engine, she sped off with the speed of light to catch the quaffle on the other side of the hoop. She bounced it on the tip of her nose and Lily was the one to catch it with both arms before the quaffle would drop to the ground. 'Well done Lilith!' said Lily gleefully. 'Let's try this again, shall we?'

Slowly but steadily, Severus was getting used to the feeling of the wind blowing in his face as Lilith raced across the quidditch field. He had to admit, he did trust Lilith's flying abilities far more than any enchanted broomstick. 'This isn't so bad,' he said as he caught the quaffle again. 'I think it's time for us to fly back to the stables though. The Hufflepuffs want their practise time back.'

Severus dropped the quaffle so a member of the Hufflepuff quidditch team could catch it, and steered Lilith back in the direction of the stables. A sense of relief, but also a pleasant warm feeling of accomplishment washed over him as they touched down.

Lily let herself slide off and started petting Lilith where she thought were here manes. 'Well done girl,' she said. 'You're finally realising that Sev can handle more than you think. Now, go fly with Sev without me.'

Before Severus was even able to realise what was going on, Lilith whinnied loudly and broke out into a run. Within the blink of an eye, she had climbed up much higher than she had done before. Hogwarts could be seen in its entirely with a single glance, bathing in a beam of sunlight.

On one side Severus felt like shooting a particularly nasty jinx in Lily's direction out of sheer frustration, but on the other side he couldn't help but put up a grin. No matter what fears he held on to inside of him, he was certain he could conquer them all – as long as Lily was around.


	189. Flight to the Isle of Skye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Minor use of the Scottish Gàidhlig language will be used in the next few chapters. All translations will be noted at the bottom of the chapter.

Most – if not all – of the students were pleasantly surprised to hear that more and more Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons were being cancelled. According to Professor Umbridge it was due to official Ministry matters taking priority, but the Young Order knew better. Even Severus and Potter, who's feud had grown exponentially since Potter had been caught spying on Lily again, nodded at each other in understanding. The ghosts of Hogwarts had liked the idea of freighting Umbridge before, but since she had come up with yet another decree related to what ghosts can and cannot do, they had started to make sure she would suffer from severe insomnia.

Due to this, the Young Order was able to meet up twice before their trip to Skye without having to worry about Umbridge suddenly sneaking up on them. Severus had everyone (aside from Regulus, who was no longer attending the meetings) being put under the Imperius Curse again. Air guitar solos, duck-walks and Professor McGonagall imitations were made, but more and more of the members started to figure out the signs that they were being cursed, and were able to (somewhat) snap out of it.

In the meantime, Severus had been able to fly with Lilith a couple more times without Lily's help. Even though the feeling of flying will probably never appeal to him, at least he had found it within himself to trust Lilith as far as his feelings allowed him to.

On Monday morning, the day after the Young Order's meeting inside the Room of Requirement, all students who had signed up for the trip to the Isle of Skye were preparing themselves to leave.

Sirius had pushed out his Triumph motorbike from Hagrid's hut, where he had been allowed to keep it so Hagrid would be able to admire it, and proudly showed it off to anyone who was unfamiliar with the odd Muggle form of transportation.

'I'm jealous,' Severus stated bluntly to Lily. 'As much as I adore Lilith, I'd give anything to ride my bike right now.'

'Then perhaps you should make your bike winter-proof the moment you turn seventeen,' said Lily. 'So it can no longer slip on ice and all that.'

'Dangerous...but plausible,' said Severus with a nod. 'And a simple Warming Charm can prevent us from freezing to death.'

Hagrid, who had been given a particularly large Abraxan horse to ride on, looked more excited about the trip than anyone else around him. 'Everyone saddled up and ready te go?' he asked.

'Who's looking after Paul, Severus?' asked Remus as he rode his Aethonan horse up to where Severus and Lily were standing.

'Professor McGonagall is looking after the cats, and the caretaker after the owls I believe,' said Severus. 'It'll be nice, not having to fight with a cat over who gets the pillow for a couple of days.'

'Everyone who's saddled up their horse needs to form a line of two by two students,' ordered Professor Kettleburn. 'I will take the lead while Hagrid takes his position in the back to make sure we don't lose track of anyone. I want to be up in the air in ten!'

Severus slung his backpack over his shoulders and quickly came to Lily's aid to help saddle up Ernie. He would've bothered to saddle up Lilith as well, had he not grown used to flying with her without one.

Within several minutes, everyone had lined up. Sirius had joined Professor Kettleburn up front as to not scare the horses with any loud noises, and Remus and Peter had taken the position right behind Severus and Lily.

Sirius had fired up his engine, took a sprint, and was the first one along with Professor Kettleburn to take the sky. One by one the students followed and climbed up until they were well above the clouds.

'I think Petunia would've loved to paint this scene,' said Lily as she looked behind her. 'Meeting a unicorn already brought her to tears. Imagine meeting a whole herd of flying horses!'

'I'm sure we'll be seeing more of her work once we return home this winter,' said Severus. He pulled out his wand from his inner pocket and held it just tight enough in his hand not to lose it in the gushing wind. 'Point me,' he muttered. His wand twisted and forced his hand to move to the West. 'Looks like we'll be flying in one direct line the entire time.'

'How are we going to land without being seen?' asked Peter from behind them. 'We can't just land in the middle of Portree, can we?'

Severus was about to make a remark on logic and stupidity, when Lily interrupted him with a proper answer. 'I think we're going to land just outside of Portree,' she explained. 'Probably on some land that's owned by the MacFusty clan. I wouldn't be surprised if they got stables prepared for us.'

'That would make sense,' said Peter with a tone of approval. 'D'you remember where we're spending the nights again?'

'The Portree Hotel I believe,' said Lily. 'It's in the city's centre. Owned by Muggles, hence why we were asked to dress accordingly.'

After a while the conversations about Portree fell silent and several hours passed by as they glided over the clouds. Severus had nearly fallen asleep against Lilith's manes, but his fear of falling down, paired with a rumbling feeling in his stomach, prevented him from closing his eyes entirely.

A signal came through from up front that it was time to start declining. Several weak gasps of admiration came from the exhausted students once they had made their way below the clouds. They could see the Sound of Raasay shimmering in the few beams of sunlight that poked through the clouds. In the distance the island was coming into view.

The Sound of Raasay narrowed as it overlapped into Loch Portree. White abodes started to appear in the distance, and Professor Kettleburn took a sharp turn to the left in order to stray away from the town. In case any Muggles would catch a glimpse by any chance, they would probably think of it as nothing more than an odd flock of birds.

One by one, the heavy hooves of the horses caused the soil to rumble as they touched down in a field just South of the city. Hagrid had pulled out his pink umbrella and poked Sirius's bike with it, causing it to shrink to the size of a toy that could fit in his pocket.

'I think I see someone from the MacFusty clan walking this way,' said Professor Kettleburn as he stared off into the distance. Two broad-shouldered men came walking up to the group. The red in their thick beard had almost faded to grey, and their tartan kilt swaying in the wind struck an impressive sight against the clouded sky.

'Ceud mìle fàilte, students of Hogwarts,' said one of the men. 'Is mise Fergus MacFusty, and this is my brother Eachann. He'll be the one tending the horses during your stay on Skye.' The students all mumbled a "good afternoon" back. They were told that lunch would be waiting for them at the Portree Hotel. They were also told that tomorrow, on Tuesday, they would have a day to themselves in the city until the evening. Professor Kettleburn came with the surprise that everyone – much to Severus's annoyance – would attend a quidditch league match between the Pride of Portree and the Montrose Magpies. On Wednesday, the group would use their horses to fly further South to the mountains where some of the dragons are residing. If the weather would allow it, they would also spend the night there with provided camping gear, as most of the dragons preferred to hunt in the dark.

Severus planted a kiss on top of Lilith's head before she followed the rest of the herd along with Eachann MacFusty to a nearby stable. Most of the students were too hungry by now to be bothered with small talk, and so the march up North to the centre of Portree was done in silence.

Hagrid was the first one the Portree Hotel. The middle-aged lady behind the counter looked rather frightened by Hagrid's appearance, and took in involuntary step back. 'Feasgar math,' she said with a shaky voice.

'Feasgar math,' Hagrid repeated. 'A bheil Beurla agaibh? My students, you know; they don't speak Gàidhlig.'

The lady tilted her head so she could see what was standing behind him, and was somewhat relieved to see a whole line of students looking over at the lunch table with hunger in their eyes. 'From that private school ey?' she said nervously. 'I just need everyone to sign here, and I will be able to give you the keys to the rooms we prepared for the boys and girls. Everyone can grab their lunch after they sign.'

The lady's eyebrows were raised an inch each time yet another student looked at the common Muggle pen with peculiar interest, and was even more dumbfounded when some of the students didn't know how to write with it either. Once Alice – who was the last one in line – had put her name down, the group basically jumped into the nearest seat and started wolfing down their scones and sandwiches.

'I've never tasted anything so delicious in my life,' said Lily dramatically after she swallowed a scone in its entirety. 'These scones...the gravy...it's making me emotional.'

'Sir, Am b'urrainn dhuibh innse dhomh dè an seòrsa èisg a tha seo?' asked Severus to the serving waiter, pointing at a plate of fish in front of him.

'Breac, Sir,' said the waiter. 'Gu h-ionadail a chaidh a ghlacadh ann an cala Phort Rìgh.'

'Mìorbhaileach,' said Severus. 'Tapadh leat.'

With a polite nod the waiter left the table, and Severus was about to start piling up the fish he had pointed at earlier until suddenly Lily tossed a piece of her scone at him. 'Sev, what the hell was that?' she asked.

'What the hell was what?' said Severus casually, yet he was unable to suppress a grin. 'I just asked the waiter what kind of fish it was.'

'Yes...in Gaelic,' said Lily, looking rather sour. 'Since when you do speak Gaelic?'

'Since my mother was a Scot,' said Severus. 'You do remember her being Scottish, don't you?'

'I remember your mum being deaf, and therefore unable to speak,' said Lily with a grunt. 'How the hell did you learn Gaelic? How come I didn't know?'

Severus shrugged. 'It's not like I needed to speak the language ever again after her death. Do you want to know what kind of fish it is?'

'I want to know how on earth your mother was able to teach you to speak a different language,' said Lily, now crossing her arms out of sheer frustration. 'Any other languages you speak that I don't know of? Cherokee? Albanian perhaps?'

'I learnt to say some words in Dutch this past summer if that makes you feel any better,' said Severus as he started picking at the fish again.

'You're really not going to tell me, are you?' asked Lily.

'I already told you, my mother taught me,' said Severus. 'I can also tell you that his fish is locally caught trout because that's what the waiter just told me.'

Lily let out a sigh and gave in to the situation. 'You're full of surprises, Sev. And this past year you have been more than ever.'

'You have no idea,' said Severus as he savoured the flavours of the grilled trout. 'You have no idea...just how many surprised I have yet in store for you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The Portree Hotel has been around since 1875.
> 
> A/N The Sound of Raasay is the name of the waters between the isle of Raasay and the isle of Skye.
> 
> A/N "Ceud mìle fàilte". Literally: a hundred thousand welcomes.  
> "Is mise..." My name is...  
> "Feasgar math" Good afternoon.  
> "A bheil Beurla agaibh?". Do you speak English?  
> "Am b 'urrainn dhuibh innse dhomh dè an seòrsa èisg a tha seo?" Could you tell me what kind of fish this is?  
> "Breac" Trout.
> 
> "Gu h-ionadail a chaidh a ghlacadh ann an cala Phort Rìgh." Locally caught in Portree's harbour.
> 
> A/N Reason for name giving: Fergus is Gaelic for "Man of Strength". Eachann is Gaelic for "horse".


	190. Pride of Portree versus Montrose Magpies

Severus had nearly tried to suffocate himself with a pillow during the night. The only conversation going in the boys room was that about the Quidditch match they were going to attend. Anyone – meaning, almost all of the boys –, and Potter in particular, were having loud and vivid discussions about the two teams that were up against each other. The team's history and league scores were analysed to death. Female players were rated on how attractive they were, which broomsticks were used and why some were better than others, and by the time Hagrid came barging in all angrily that it was time to shut up and sleep, the entire group had been divided in two about who deserved to be the winner. As far as Severus was concerned, the only thing that could make the match even remotely interesting was if a dragon came flying over and set the whole place on fire.

After complaining extensively about his Quidditch riddled night at Lily (who was bobbing her head and mumbling "yes" the entire way through) during breakfast, Severus was feeling much better about the whole ordeal. 'I still don't see how a school trip meant for studying dragons could somehow be about nothing other than Quidditch,' said Severus after he drained his last bit of coffee in one gulp.

'It won't be that bad, Sev,' said Lily with a shrug. 'It's just a match between two national Quidditch teams. How big of a deal can it be?'

'How big of a deal can it be?' said Potter with a dramatic gasp from behind them. 'How big of a deal...can...it...be? Miss Evans, after more than five years of living in the magical world, surely you must know that Quidditch means passion, and bloodshed, and—'

'—Shut up James,' said Remus with a cough. 'We are currently surrounded by Muggles. You may want to lower your voice just a little bit.'

'She needs to be more thoroughly educated about the world of Quidditch though,' said Potter in self-defence. 'Hogwart's Quidditch is one thing, but nationals—'

'—Shut it, James,' said Peter suddenly. 'I don't know if you noticed, but not everybody cares as much about Quidditch as you do.'

Remus slammed his cup down loud enough for everyone to hear. 'Here's an idea. Since the match isn't until later tonight, I suggest that we – members of our special group – rent a boat and see if we can spot some whales today.'

'Aren't we a little late for whale spotting though?' asked Mary. 'I thought most of the whales and dolphins had gone by September.'

'Yes indeed Mary... _most_ of them,' said Remus. 'But we don't need to go out on the water just to see some whales. There's also seals...puffins...'

'You had me at puffins,' said Lily excitedly. 'Sounds like a plan. What you do you think, Sev?'

'Considering the fact that this city is smaller than the entire grounds of Hogwarts, I'd be more than happy to kill time out on the water,' said Severus with a nod. 'Any idea where to go?'

'Just walk up to the harbour and ask around I suppose,' said Remus. 'Most Muggles here have an income based on tourism and fishing. There must be at least one boat around that we could use.'

No sooner said than done, the Young Order had grabbed their coats, filled their backpacks, and were on their way to the harbour in search of a boat. It didn't take long before Sirius had managed to sniff out a motorboat that was large enough to hold the entire group, and pushed Severus up front so he could negotiate in Gaelic.

'Dh'fhaodadh sinn reub seo airson bàta-diugh Sir?' Severus asked carefully.

'Cinnteach,' said the fisherman. 'Tha e leatsa airson còig notaichean.'

'Anyone got uhm...some common money?' he asked the group. 'We can have it for the day for a fiver.'

Emma and Remus were the ones who turned out their pockets in search of Muggle change, and managed to scrape up just enough to pay the fisherman. Emma, who claimed that she had steered motorboats before on holidays with her family, took the liberty of firing up the engine and steer the boat out of the harbour.

'Didn't realise how beautiful this place was until now,' said Evan as he took in the scenery. 'Misty mountains...old buildings...and I think I just saw a sea eagle flying overhead.'

'I was too hungry to care yesterday,' said Alice. 'Are puffins even around this time of year?'

'We're too late for basically anything fascinating,' said Severus. 'Birds have already nested and most of the dolphins and whales will be gone by now. We'd be lucky if we get to see a few seals.'

'Isn't there are famous song about Skye?' asked Peter as he let his hand glide through the cold water.

'There's is,' said Emma. 'I remember learning about it in school before I came to Hogwarts. It's called the Skye Boat Song. It's about Bonny Prince Charlie fleeing to Skye after his defeat at the battle of Culloden back in seventeen forty-six.'

'Could you sing it for us?' asked Peter. 'I'd love to hear it.'

'Wish I remembered the lines,' said Emma apologetically. 'Anyone else know some typical Scottish songs?'

'I know Ailein Duinn,' said Severus. 'Or Dark-Haired Alan, in English. My mother taught me so I don't know how to sing it, but I do know the lines.'

'You should recite it for us, Sev,' said lily. 'I'd love to hear it.'

'It's dramatic as all hell,' said Severus. 'The song – or story – was written by Annag Chaimbeul. Or Annie Campbell in English, about her fiancé Ailean Moireasdan, meaning Alan Morrison. He was a sea captain from the isle of Lewis. In the spring of seventy eighty-eight, he set sail from Stornoway to go to Scalpay, which is on the isle of Harris. Unfortunately, they got caught in a storm causing everyone but Annie to drown. Annie was left broken-hearted and wasted away through grief, and composed this song for him. She lost her will to live soon afterwards, and was found washed ashore in the same place that her fiancé had also been found.'

'Pfew...that's dramatic!' said Sirius. 'What it is with these Scots and their dramatic love stories?'

'It's the lack of sunlight,' said Severus dryly. 'I think I see some seals on those rocks over there.'

The whole group turned their faces towards the rocky coastline. About a dozen seals were lying on the rocks, bathing in the few beams of sunlight they were able to catch. 'That is so cute,' said Alice in a sweet voice. 'You think we'll see any more creatures tomorrow when we're going down South?'

'Aside from dragons?' said Frank. 'We'll probably get to see plenty of red deer, and if we're lucky we'll also get to see gold eagles and pine martins.'

'Any other magical creatures though?' asked Alice. 'As much as I'd love to see all of these animals you just mentioned, I don't think they possess any magical powers.'

'If there are any lochs down South we might stumble on some kelpies,' said Severus. 'Or perhaps even some fairies.'

'Seeing fairies sounds nice,' said Emma. 'Even if it is just to satisfy the Muggle in me.'

'And while all of you are too busy talking about other creatures, I just found a few we've been wanting to see,' said Peter casually as he pointed at a niche among the rocks. About three or four puffins were huddled up against the narrow edges of the rocks. Their orange beaks easily betrayed their position against all the green and grey.

'Puffins!' yelled Lily happily. 'They really do look like weird penguins, don't they?'

…

The group had returned to the Portree Hotel before dinner time, discussing vividly whether or not they had seen actual bottlenose dolphins swim underneath their boat or not. During dinner however, the conversation had turned from creatures to Quidditch in a manner or seconds.

It was a long march to the Quidditch pitch. Hidden behind many spells and enchantments, they eventually ended up in a farm field that appeared to be empty from a distance, but was completely packed with witches and wizards from all over the United Kingdom once you came nearby. Not that Severus had ever bothered attending a large Quidditch match before, but he imagined that this event was similar to the Quidditch World Cup. Only on a much smaller scale.

There were two very large grandstands facing opposite of each other on the field. The field had to be about twice as big as the Quidditch pitch at Hogwarts. The Pride of Portree flew around in purple robes with a large golden star embroidered on them. The Montrose Magpies were dressed in black and white with a Magpie sewn onto their chests.

Most of the match was a bit of a blur to Severus. It appeared that most students had agreed on supporting the Pride, as they were guests on their island after all. As much as Severus tried to understand, it still felt like any other Quidditch match at Hogwarts to him. The Quaffle was tossed around. The Bludgers managed to knock some players of their brooms. The snitch wasn't anywhere to be found.

The best part of the entire evening was seeing Lily happy and excited. His eyes started to wander off to the opposite grandstand, where a sea of black and white was sometimes interrupted by a purple hue. He tried to look away and see if he was able to find the snitch in the hope that the game would be over soon, but the faces of two people on the opposite site suddenly caught his attention.

Severus narrowed his eyes in an attempt to see better. It took a moment for the pieces of the puzzle to fall together, but the two people on the opposite side were unmistakably the Carrow siblings. He could feel his heart starting to pound in his chest. Not only were Alecto and Amycous Carrow present, but soon he also discovered Rabastan and Rudolphus Lestrange. Yaxley, Rookwood, and perhaps even more Death Eaters were sitting among them at this very moment.

Severus let his hair fall in front of his face and tried to find a way out from the crowd he was sitting in.

'Sev, are you okay?' asked Lily. 'Is it getting too crowded for you?'

'Yes it is,' he lied. 'I want to get out of here.'

'Would you like me to come with you?' asked Lily with a tone of concern.

'Yes please,' said Severus, hoping that none of the Death Eaters had seen him or Lily. 'Perhaps we should go sit behind a few trees.'

As discreetly as possible, Severus slouched down and glided his way through the crowd without drawing too much attention. He grabbed Lily by the hand as soon as they had made it down the grandstand, and hurried his way to a few trees in the background.

'What's going on, Sev?' asked Lily after Severus released his grip. 'Why do I have a feeling something else is going on?'

'Because you know me too well,' said Severus as he sat down in the grass, and pulled his wand from his pocket. 'I don't want anyone else to know because it would draw too much attention, but we are surrounded by Death Eaters.'

'Death Eaters?' asked Lily indignantly as she knelt down in front of him. 'Are you absolutely certain?'

'Yes,' said Severus darkly. 'I recognised a few, and for all we know there are more of them out there.'

Lily looked around as if she expected a Death Eater to suddenly appear from behind her. 'But why would they be here?' she asked in a quiet voice.

Severus leaned in closer and brought his voice to a whisper. 'I have no idea, but I can only hope they're here to see a Quidditch match...and nothing more.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Dh'fhaodadh sinn reub seo airson bàta-diugh / Could we rent this boat for today, Sir?  
> Cinnteach. Sure.  
> Tha e leatsa airson còig notaichean. It's yours for five pounds.
> 
> A/N The Skye Boat song knows many versions, but the original was written by Sir Harold Boulton. An adapted version of the song is now made popular as the intro song in the Outlander series.  
> A/N The story Severus told about Ailein Duinn is true. If you want to hear the song, Méav Ní Mhaolchatha has a version of it on youtube.


	191. Beinn na Caillich

Severus couldn't sleep that night. Dozens of scenarios were playing inside his mind as to why the Death Eaters were there. The most plausible reason was that they were there for the Quidditch match and nothing more, but he found that hard to believe. Another reason was that they knew he was there. It wasn't exactly a secret that he was going on a school trip, and with Avery sleeping in the same dorm room as him, and not to mention Regulus's questionable loyalty, the Death Eaters would've easily found out of his whereabouts. There could be another reason behind all this, though. The Dark Lord was known for wanting to recruit more than just loyal witches and wizards. Perhaps the group of Death Eaters were send here in search of dragons in order to find out of they could be used for the war. If so, the MacFusty clan should be warned right away. But how would they they accept the presumption of an underage student without laughing it off? Right about now he wished they had brought Leo along. That way he would've been able to send a message to Dumbledore straight away. But instead, he was stuck on an island with nothing more than a wand he couldn't use.

He may have fallen asleep at some point because he had no recollection of the sun rising up. The first thing that came to his mind was the conversation he had had with Lily behind the trees the night before. She had tried to convince him that it may be a good idea to tell the rest of the members of the Young Order what was going on, but Severus wouldn't hear of it. As much as he understood that the group had formed and was preparing for situations just as this one, the majority was still underage. If they were to get caught using underage magic outside of school, not to mention in a Muggle area, the consequences of that would be too much to handle.

There was nothing more to do than letting it rest and hope he wouldn't stumble upon any of the Death Eaters for as long as he was on the island. Lily didn't seem like she had had a lot of rest either. Severus was only able to down a small portion of eggs and bacon, compensated by a large amount of coffee. When Lily lazily handed over a coffee flask she had randomly pulled out of her backpack, Severus was once again reminded why he had fallen in love with her in the first place.

Fergus and Eachann were already present with the horses and waiting for the group to arrive. Lilith and Ernie were happy to see Severus and Lily again, and bounced their way up to the couple by means of greeting.

With his coffee flask safely secured inside the inner pocket of his leather jacket, Severus jumped up on Lilith's back. Hagrid used his pink umbrella again to enlarge Sirius's bike, and a line was formed with the MacFustys up front.

They were going to fly to the Southern part of the island. They were told they were going to a valley called Swordale. In it, a large hill formation called Beinn na Caillich homed several Hebridean Black dragons.

The warmth of the coffee flask was pressing comfortably against his body as they flew up into the cold morning air. It was a cloudless sky, and the group was forced to fly higher to prevent themselves from being seen by any Muggles down below.

They group was about halfway when they passed the old bridge of Sligachan, which connects the Northern part of the island with the Southern part, divided by the Sligachan river. From that point on they followed the river down until they passed the Marsco hills, and turned slightly to the East until they finally reached the Beinn na Caillich.

Fergus gave a signal that they were to go down to the edge of a small loch, located at the very edge of the beinn. The closer they came to solid ground, the more it became clear that they had entered a magical place. Several stables suddenly sprang into view, as well as several people who were flying around on broomsticks. Judging by their tartan outfits and similar red hair as Fergus and Eachann, they had to be members of the MacFusty clan.

The moment Severus's feet touched the ground, he pulled out the coffee flask and took a big swig out of it. 'Save some of me, please,' said Lily as she snatched the flask out of his hands. 'My bones are frozen from the flight.' After she savoured the coffee, she took a good look around. It's really beautiful out here.'

Severus nodded in agreement. The usual bleakness of Scotland lit up in the rising sun. Beinn na Caillich casted a magnificent shadow over the landscape, and the surface of the loch glistered like diamonds. The purple flowers of the moonwort and the thick green strands of the quillwort were sticking out through the clubmoss and deergrass.

'Isn't moonwort magical?' asked Lily, as if she had somehow read Severus's mind.

'It is,' he said as he knelt down in front of a plant. The purple flowers were pretty, but it were the flat and oval shaped pods that drew his attention. 'Maybe we should bring some—'

'—No, can't do,' said a lady from the MacFusty clan strictly. 'These flowers are 'ere for a reason, ye know.'

'And what reason would that be?' asked Severus politely. 'As a potioneer, I'm genuinely curious.'

'Aye, I know who ye are,' said the lady. 'You're the young lad who got an Order of Merlin, didn't ye? Thought I recognised yer face.'

'The one and only,' said Severus dully. 'What do you use these plants for?'

The lady smiled and knelt down as well. 'It's more o' a folklore story, really. They're moon flowers, so as ye know, they ken only be harvested at midnight. The reason why there are so many around 'ere though, is because they ward off the dragons.'

Severus immediately drew his hands away from the flower. 'These flowers ward off dragons?' he asked with a tilted eye.

'Aye,' said the lady. 'Either because the flowers are magical, or they simply don't like the smell o' it. Either way, it works. That's why we planted so many of 'em around 'ere. Prevents Muggles from seeing 'em. Looks like ye gonna have te set up camp.'

Severus looked over his shoulder and saw that Hagrid had put down a small Mokeskin pouch. He allowed every student to grab a tent out of the pouch and form a camp around the edge of the lake.

The seventh-year students had somewhat formed their own circle, and so the sixth year students decided to do the same so two separate camps were made. As Severus busied himself with putting up his tent, he was reminded of the last time he had Lily had tried to camp out on Dartmoor.

By the time all the tents had been set up, the familiar sound of someone Apparating filled the camp, and Professor Kettleburn made the announcement that a new guest had arrived.

Severus immediately recognised who it was. Newt Scamander; the man who had defended him at his knighting into the Order of Merlin, and Author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

'Everyone, meet mister Newt Scamander,' said Professor Kettleburn proudly. 'He'll be joining us for a couple of days while we go out to find the Hebridean Black dragon.'

Everyone jumped to their feet and formed a line to shake hands with the famous man in front of them. By the time Mister Scamander was finally done greeting everyone, he turned to Severus. 'It's good to see you again, Mister Snape,' he said.

'I was wondering if you were going to show up,' said Severus, noticing how several students were looking at the two of them in awe. 'It's good to see you again.'

'The Belby family sends their regards,' said Scamander. 'And to you too, Miss Evans and Mister Lupin. As a matter of fact, Mister Lupin, I would like to speak with you for a moment. In private, preferably.'

Remus nodded in understanding and followed Scamander to hike around the lake. Severus didn't need to hear to know what they were going to talk about. He carried news for Remus about the progress of recruiting werewolves, and he could only hope that the message carried a positive load.

'I almost forgot he was supposed to join us,' said Lily as she watched Remus and Scamander walk off. 'You should check the inside of your tent, Sev. It's bigger on the inside.'

Severus tossed his backpack inside and crawled through the front flaps of the tent. He had to give Hagrid and Professor Kettleburn credit for the mount of preparation they had put into this trip. As he stood up straight, he saw a comfortable looking bed standing in the corner of the tent. A tiny kitchen area and a table with two chairs were standing on the opposite side. Hidden behind a curtain was a shower cabin, and a Muggle lantern was dangling on a hook from the ceiling. He had to admit, the inside of this tent looked better than his place at Spinner's End ever had.

After he had dumped his stuff onto the bed, Severus crawled out of the tent again. The group had started to collect dry wood to start a fire in the centre of the camp. Eachann came to tell them that the best time to see the dragons was late in the evening, and that they were in for another treat as well. It was predicted that the sky would remain cloudless well into the next day, which meant that they would more than likely be able to see the northern lights.'

'The northern lights, Sev,' said Lily as she tried to light the fire with a snap of her fingers. 'I've never seen the northern lights before.'

'Me neither,' said Severus as he added some dry leaves to the pile of lumber, and snapped with his fingers to light a spark. 'The northern lights...I wonder if it contains any magical energy.'

'It probably does,' said Lily, who was now flapping her hands in order to spread the small fire she had created.

'It's a shame we can't use our wands, we may—'

'—Who said we need our wands in order to find out?' said Lily, shaking her head in disbelieve. 'Out of all people I thought you would understand that magic is something that needs to be felt. Something that flows through you...unless of course you wanted to try to capture the light inside a mason jar.'

Severus smiled, turned to his tent to pull the two chairs he had found earlier out, and sat down in front of the fire. Lily sat down in the chair beside him, and places her hands in between his to warm them up. 'What do you think the Death Eaters are up to?' she asked carefully.

Through the fire, on the other side of the loch, Severus could see two small dots moving. 'I'm not sure,' he mumbled back as he fixed his eyes on Scamander. 'But I can only hope they were here for the Quiditch match, and nothing more.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Beinn means mountain.
> 
> A/N In the alchemy, moonwort is considered a magical plant that can wards off monsters. One of the greatest things about this odd looking plant is that the oil from the seeds contain a fatty acid that helps against multiple sclerosis.
> 
> A/N October is the best time of the year to see the Northern Light on the isle of Skye.


	192. Hebridean Black Dragon

By the time the first stars started to appear in the cloudless sky, the group, including Mister Scamander, were rounded up by the MacFusty clan so they could start their hike up on Beinn na Caillich.

The beinn appeared red in the half-light. The wind had subdued to a soft breeze; a rare occurrence on the islands. The dragons, as Fergus explained, hid their nests in the crevices along the top of the beinn. Although the beinn itself wasn't particularly high, it was very steep, and for once Severus cursed himself for not having a drop of athletic blood in him.

'Come on, Sev!' yelled Lily from up front. 'We're about halfway I think.'

Too focussed on his breathing, Severus didn't bother to answer. He eyed Hagrid's Mokeskin pouch and wondered if he there was any way he could climb inside of it so Hagrid could carry him to the top.

'Is this even safe?' asked Peter from the back of the line, breathing heavily. 'We're not just going to casually walk into a dragon's nest, are we?'

Overhearing the conversation, Remus turned around. 'Dragons usually aren't interested in humans,' he explained. 'From what I know they usually eat red deer and sometimes a sheep or two.'

'Remus, can I talk to you about something?' asked Severus. 'In private, if possible.'

Remus nodded and made sure they were the last two people in line. 'Something the matter, Severus?'

'What did you and mister Scamander talk about?' asked Severus bluntly. 'He doesn't strike me as the kind of man to be secretive.'

'Mostly werewolf stuff,' said Remus with a shrug. 'He's been in contact with the Belby family as you know. Catriona is winning more and more werewolves over to our side.'

'That is good news,' said Severus. His eyes shifted from Remus to mister Scamander, who was walking up front with a steady determined pace. 'He seems quite vital for his age, don't you think?'

'So is Dumbledore,' said Remus casually. 'Must've been all that travelling around the world that's keeping him vital.'

'I suppose,' said Severus, his eyes still focussed on Scamander. 'Something doesn't feel right.'

'Perhaps because you seem to find everyone suspicious,' said Remus, and looked up to the sky. 'Looks like our path will be illuminated tonight.'

Severus tore his eyes away from Scamander and looked up at the star strewn sky. Flashes of green light covered the stars like a rippling in water. For a split second his heart skipped a beat, thinking that the Dark Mark had suddenly been cast. That thought however was quickly erased as he recalled Eachann telling the group that they had a fair chance of seeing the northern lights tonight. With a sigh of relief, he continued to look up at the light show that was spreading out. More and more people in the group took notice, and sighs of admiration filled the air.

Severus recalled several occasions at Hogwarts where the northern lights had come, but it had never been as vivid as was out here on the island. The MacFusty clan and the teachers mumbled "Nox" so their wands would no longer light the path in front of them, and instead let the light from above guide their way.

The rest of the hike to the top of the beinn was done in silence, as if not to disturb the beauty that was shining from above. The silence was broken when Fergus announced that they had arrived. A vague shadow could be seen that led inside a cave, and an electric disturbance in the air made it clear that they had crossed a magical boundary.

'This cave,' Fergus explained, 'is the home of a female Hebridean Black. Female dragons are known to be more ferocious than their male counterparts, and considering the fact that this lass has laid a single egg not te long ago, we must be extra cautious.'

Severus had a flashback to the first task of the Triwizard Tournament back in nineteen ninety-four. The corners of his mouth involuntarily curled into a smile, remembering that it had been Charlie who had led the entire operation.

'We're going to try te lure her out of her cave,' Fergus continued. 'We collected some red deer for the occasion. Please, stand back and don't utter a word.'

Lily made sure she was standing right next to Severus as the MacFusty clan made their way towards the cave. The carcass of a stag was dragged in front of the entrance, and from that point on all they could do was wait.

The silence cut like a knife as everyone waited in anticipation for the dragon to arrive. A low rumbling came from the depths of the cave, causing everyone's hairs to stand on end, and Lily to squeeze Severus's hand and bit harder than she intended.

Puffs of smoke came swirling out of the cave, followed by a scaly black snout that sniffed for the stag's carcass. Everyone held their breath as the dragon slowly made her way out of the cave. Her entire head had come out, followed by a long neck. A gust of wind arose as she spread out her leathery bat-like wings. She didn't seem to have any interest in the people that were looking at her, and rather focussed her attention on the carcass that was lying on the ground.

With a long-forked tongue, she pulled up the stag by its legs and bit it in half as if it were nothing but a twig. Severus could see Potter jumping backwards at the sight of it, and there was something very satisfying about imagining it was Potter who was being eaten. From the corner of his eye he could see Lily smirking at the sight of it, and he didn't need to perform Legilimency to know that she was thinking the same.

The atmosphere was filled with old magic. The northern light reflected on her black scaly hide, and her enormous body and long arrow-shaped spike tail moved along gracefully like a cat chasing its prey. She was standing guard in front of the cave. Her wings spread as to prevent anyone from entering it to protect her egg.

'Wish I could've taken a picture with dad's polaroid,' whispered Lily. 'I'm sure Charlie would've loved seeing this.'

'Wish we had enough light to be drawing this,' said Severus. 'Aren't we supposed to be doing that for class?'

'I suppose we'll have to draw her from memory,' said Lily. 'How exactly can a dragon breathe fire anyway?'

'Oh, there's an entire scientific explanation for that,' said Severus. 'Like birds, they have two chambers in their stomach. The first one acts just like a human stomach, and breaks down food with the use of acid. Since the seeds and nuts they eat are so hard, they swallow grit and rocks which accumulate in the second chamber. That makes it easy to break down their food. As you might've guessed, dragon stomachs do the same thing because they eat animals with bones and all.'

'That still doesn't explain why chickens can't breathe fire though,' said Lily with growing curiosity.

'I was getting to that. Because of those two stomach chambers, bacteria feed on the undigested food particles which in return release hydrogen and methane. Those two gasses are stored in storage sacs inside their body, and can be used for fire production.'

'Impressive,' said Lily with a nod. 'But then what causes those gasses to go up in flames?'

'Their teeth,' said Severus as he pointed at the dragon's mouth. 'Most dragons are omnivorous, and their teeth are so strong that they use their flat teeth to grind rocks. Most of the rocks they eat are rich in metal, which leaves residue behind their teeth. When a dragon releases the gasses, it gets mixed in with oxygen and can be ignited against the metallic residue on their teeth. The result of that is the perfect combination for fire-breathing.'

Some of the students that surrounded them let out a few soft claps. 'I'm impressed, Severus,' said Remus. 'I had no idea you knew so much about dragons.'

'I read when I'm bored,' said Severus with a shrug. 'With a little bit of luck, she might breathe some fire for us. Then you'll be able to see that the fire isn't visible until it has surpassed her teeth.'

'And here I am thinking it just came from the back of their throats,' said Peter. 'I'm mostly surprised that their ability to breathe fire isn't a magical one.'

'It's easy to call something magical if it doesn't come with a logical explanation,' said Severus. 'If you—'

'Sst!' said Lily. 'It looks like she's got her eyes on us.'

The dragon had focussed her attention on the group, and Severus swallowed involuntarily at the sight of her purple eyes staring down at everyone. The entire MacFusty clan had their wands ready at hand, ready to strike whenever necessary.

She clapped with her wings at an unexpected speed, causing several students to fall to the ground. It was clear that she wanted everyone to back off, and had opened her mouth to look even more threatened than she already did.

'It's time to leave,' said Fergus clearly so everyone could hear. 'We'll distract the lass while yer teachers take ye all down the beinn. Go...now!'

Severus took Lily by the hand, and everyone turned their backs and followed Hagrid and Professor Kettleburn back to where they had set up camp. A sudden bright glow filled their path, and the heat on their backs made it clear that the dragon had been spitting fire.

'Did you really feel the need to talk so much?' said Potter angrily as she stomped his way down the beinn. 'We probably could've stayed there a lot longer if you had just kept your mouth shut.'

'Oh you shut it, Potter,' snapped Lily before Severus was able to open his mouth.

'No I won't shut up now,' said Potter. 'Why does your boyfriend have to be such a know-it-all?'

No longer feeling the need to counter-argue, Severus kicked Potter on the backside of his knee and continued to stomp away, not caring in the slightest that Potter had fallen face down on a rock.

'Should we leave him out there?' asked Lily, though it was clear she was more entertained than feeling concerned.

'I'm sure Sirius will help him up,' snapped Severus. 'As far as I'm concerned the dragon can have him.'

Two small fires were still blazing when the group made it back to camp. It was a lot colder by the loch than it was on the top of the beinn, and everyone rushed into their tents to either warm up or crawl into bed.

'Feel free to sneak out and crawl into my tent,' whispered Lily into his ear as they stood in front of the fire in the centre of their camp.

'What if I grab us some blankets and we stay out looking at the northern lights for a while,' said Severus. 'It's not every day you get to see this.'

Wrapped up in blankets, they laid down on the ground for a while having small talk. They both snorted when they heard Potter arriving, cursing himself with every step as he hopped his way into his tent. They even saw a dark bat-like shadow gliding high above them, and knew it had to be the dragon they had visited earlier going on a hunt.

'Sev,' said Lily after a while, 'did Sirius help Potter down the beinn?'

'I'm not sure,' said Severus sleepily. 'Why do you care?'

'Because I'm trying to recall everyone who walked down with us,' said Lily, suddenly sitting straight up, 'and I don't recall seeing Mister Scamander anywhere.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N In case anyone is interested, I have a short story titled dragons on the isle of skye on my page. It's about Hagrid taking his students (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco etcetera) on a school trip to Portree.


	193. The Case of the Missing Egg

Severus had notified Hagrid and Professor Kettleburn of Mister Scamander's sudden disappearance. They searched around for a while, only to come to the conclusion that he must have Apparated away without a formal goodbye. Believing that perhaps the Ministry may have sent him an urgent message, Hagrid and Kettleburn prepared themselves to go back to bed again, only to be stopped by Fergus and Eachann running down the beinn.

'The dragons...the dragon's egg – it's missing,' said Fergus with great difficulty. 'She's out hunting now – so she doesn't know yet – but as soon as she does—'

'Mister Scamander has gone missing as well,' said Lily before Professor Kettleburn was able to open his mouth, 'and I don't think it was him. We think he may have been someone pretending it was him.'

As a heated debate flourished among the clan, Lily, Kettleburn, and Hagrid, Severus's mind wandered off to an old memory of when Mad-Eye Moody had turned out not to be Moody at all. For nearly a year, he had put the blame on Lily's son – again – for the theft of Polyjuice Potion ingredients, when it turned out to be Barty Crouch's son all along. 'Polyjuice,' he mumbled to himself. 'It's always Polyjuice...'

'What's always Polyjuice, Sev?' asked Lily, catching on to his mumbling.

'It's evident that wasn't Mister Scamander,' said Severus, now loud enough for everyone to hear. 'That was someone pretending to be Mister Scamander, most likely with the use of Polyjuice. That of course rings the question, who was the man behind the potion, and where is the real Scamander right now?'

'We should send a message to Dumbledore right away!' said Kettleburn, ready to turn around to find quill and ink.

'Leave that for later,' said Fergus. 'That dragon's egg got stolen, and the moment the mother returns from her hunt and finds out...we're toast. We better start sending everybody back to Portree as soon as possible!'

Lily grabbed Severus roughly by the shoulder, dragging him out of his train of thought as she forced him to wake the other students. Without explanation, within a matter of moments the tents were all folded back into Hagrid's Mokeskin pouch, the horses were saddled up, Sirius's motorbike got a kick start, and the whole group flew the same route back that they had followed when they had come down from Portree.

'What exactly is going on?' yelled Sirius in Severus's direction. 'There must be some explanation as to why we're up here freezing our arses off in the middle of the night.'

'The dragon's egg's gone missing,' yelled Severus back. 'That's about as much as I know, too. The MacFustys claim that as soon as the dragon finds out, she might put us to blame and start chasing after all. The further away we get from her beinn, the better.'

Rumours were whispered among the students as they made their way back up North, but none seem to be about Scamander's sudden disappearance. The name simply carried too much importance to be considered a suspect, which made it all the more brilliant whoever was behind the theft. Severus and Lily didn't need to speak to know what both of them were thinking. The Death Eaters they had spotted during the Quidditch match had been here for more than one reason after all. They now have a dragon's egg, most likely imprisoned the real Mister Scamander as well.

By the time they had returned to the Portree Hotel, Severus and Lily heavily debated whether or not they should inform Professor Kettleburn about who they had seen during the Quidditch match. Lily figured it was best to give in and have a message send to Dumbledore straight away. Severus on the other hand argued that if they had wanted to inform Kettleburn about what they had seen, they should've done it yesterday straight after the match. To inform him now would only raise questions as to why they hadn't told earlier. Eventually Lily gave in, figuring that the whole trip to Skye would be cut short anyway, and it was best to pay a visit to Dumbledore as soon as they were back at Hogwarts.

Severus had yet another sleepless night. The Death Eaters, the missing dragon's egg and the disappearance of Mister Scamander swirled around inside his mind, unable to find the missing pieces to the growing puzzle.

…

The next morning Professor Kettleburn had to announce that their trip to Skye – to everyone's disappointment – was to be cut short. Severus's last attempt to find anything out was by having a private conversation with Remus, but he didn't seem to find anything out of the ordinary with the Scamander he had been talking to. Whoever it was, he or she must've known Scamander quite well.

The flight back to Hogwarts was cold and rainy. Hagrid and Professor Kettleburn had tried everything they could to keep the students warm as they soared through the storm, but the heavy rain eventually broke through the magical breaches and chilled everyone to the bone. Arriving at Skye had been a beautiful sight, but nothing compared to seeing the lights of Hogwarts shimmering in the distance.

After Lilith had been released back into the woods and Ernie was safe back inside his stable, Severus had wrapped his leather jacket around Lily and rushed their way up to the entrance. Together, they continued to rush their way up to the seventh floor. Lily followed Severus up to the stone gargoyle, but Severus stopped her. 'Please, just go to the common room and get warmed up. I will meet you later inside the prefects' bathroom, if you like.'

'Are there things you know that I'm not supposed to know?' asked Lily, looking stern.

Severus shook his head. 'I'm just as confused as you are about everything that happened. I just don't want you to get sick.'

Lily tilted her head and let out a sigh. 'Someday, Sev, I hope you'll learn to care as much about yourself as you care about me. I'll see you in the prefects' bathroom, okay?'

After a swift kiss Severus mumbled the password to the gargoyle and walked his way up to Dumbledore's office like he had done so many times before. He knocked, was welcomed by Dumbledore's voice on the other side, and judging by the hot tea on the desk, Dumbledore had already expected him to come.

'Good to see you again, Severus,' said Dumbledore as he waved to the seat in front of him. 'Most unfortunate that your trip to Skye had to be cut short. Paul, I believe his name was, appears to be happy to see you again.'

Looking down at the chair, Paul was looking up in eager anticipation to be petted. 'Unfortunate indeed,' growled Severus as he picked Paul and put him down in his lap.

'Don't think I haven't received any news, Severus,' said Dumbledore. 'I know a dragon's egg has gone missing while you were there.'

'And what you don't know is that the night before the egg's theft, Lily and I spotted Death Eaters among the crowd during the Quidditch match,' said Severus. 'I didn't want to worry Professor Kettleburn and cut the trip even shorter. Looking back on it I probably should've. Then perhaps the egg never would've been stolen.'

'Any idea who may be behind the theft?' asked Dumbledore.

'Not Mister Scamander, that's for sure,' said Severus bitterly. 'He disappeared suddenly after we were told by the MacFusty clan to make it down the mountain for our own safety, along with the egg. Whoever it was, it wasn't the real Scamander.'

'If that is the case, then I must send for a search party straight away,' said Dumbledore as he pulled out parchment and ink from his desk's drawer. 'If the real Newton Scamander is being held captive somewhere, it's up to the Aurors and the Order to go and find him as soon as possible.'

'He had a lengthy conversation with Remus,' Severus added. 'Whoever it was pretending to be Scamander, but Remus didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. It must've been someone who knew him very well, or at least knew about the recruitment of the werewolves led by the Belbys.'

'Just leave it to me and the Order for now, Severus,' said Dumbledore, and put his quill down on the table. 'There's something else that I have to tell you.'

'Did something happen while we were gone?'

Dumbledore removed his glasses and nodded. 'I'm afraid so,' he said hoarsely. 'Marlene McKinnon, you must remember her from last year after the attack in Hogsmeade, has been murdered, along with the rest of her family.'

Severus stopped petting Paul and looked Dumbledore straight in the eye. 'Any idea who was responsible for the murder?'

'Death Eaters, I'm afraid,' said Dumbledore. 'By whom exactly, we do not know. She, and the rest of her family, died along in the line of duty.'

'I wish I knew,' said Severus, the feeling of frustration rising up inside of him. 'If only I know who—'

'—As I said,' Dumbledore interrupted, 'leave it to the Aurors and the Order for now. I think it's time for you to freshen up and change into some dry clothes.'

Severus had been sitting in Dumbledore's chair, soaking wet without realising it. 'What frustrates me the most,' he said, his hands clenched into tight fists, 'is that no matter what I try, I feel as if I still can't change the course of history.'

'You will,' said Dumbledore confidently, 'if you believe in it.'

…

Hastily, Severus made his way down to the prefects' bathroom, mumbled the password to the portrait, and found Lily already bathing in the pool. The scent of pine prominent in the air. 'I was wondering what took you so long,' said Lily as she looked up at him. 'You don't look too well.'

Severus took a moment to respond, admiring the woman who was feeling more than confident enough to be naked in front of him. 'I'm afraid I come with some bad news,' he said as he started taking his clothes off. 'You remember Marlene McKinnon from last year?'

'I do,' said Lily as she made her way to the edge of the pool. 'Did something happen to her?'

'She, along with her entire family, have been murdered by Death Eaters,' said Severus, feeling that throwing it out there was a better way than being subtle about it.

Lily clasped her hands in front of her mouth in shock. 'It can't be,' she mumbled. 'Did Dumbledore just tell you that?'

Severus let himself glide into the water, welcoming the warmth that the tea hadn't been able to satisfy. 'He did,' he said stiffly. 'He's also starting a search party to find the real Scamander. Poor man is probably being held captive somewhere.'

With a dry sob, Lily wrapped her arms around Severus and rested her head against his chest. 'This war is coming closer every day, isn't it?' she asked carefully.

'I'm afraid so,' said Severus as he kissed her on the top of her head. 'And the worst, is that I feel that there's nothing I can do about it.'

'What's upsetting you, Sev?'

It took a moment for Severus to notice, but his entire body was shaking involuntarily as he held Lily tightly into his arms. 'Just the thought that I might lose you,' he said weakly. 'Again.'


	194. Before Hallowe'en

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Fluff stuff

The only upside to missing out on their trip to Skye, was that a meeting with the Young Order did not have to be postponed. They gave it all during their next lesson on Sunday, going over everything they had learnt since its founding.

After their meeting, Remus had questioned Severus about what exactly had happened to Mister Scamander, and Severus decided it would be best to be honest if it regarded anything concerning werewolves. Remus went off to write the Belbys about it straight away, even though Severus had a feeling that Dumbledore may have informed them already, as they were also members of the Order of the Phoenix.

There was an atmosphere lingering inside the castle that cut through Severus's heart like a knife. Umbridge's presence, the Dementors, and the scent of early snowfall in the air made the place feel colder than ever. More and more students were huddling up together in the hallways and wore their coats over their robes while in class. Not that cold air had ever bothered him before, but there was something that caused the odd cold to chill his bones. As if a ghost was floating through him over and over again, leaving a nasty shiver running down his spine.

The McKinnon's names were plastered all over the Daily Prophet. Pictures of their weeping faces installed more fear than ever amongst the wizarding community. Even more security measures were taken, and by the time the Evening Prophet arrived, fingers had been pointed at the main suspect. Most of them pointed at a Death Eater named Travers, and Severus wouldn't be remotely surprised if it were true, recalling having worked side by side with Travers before and being familiar with his methods and philosophy.

Lily and Severus found themselves in the Room of Requirement again after dinner. Mostly they walked around looking for abnormal objects or potential potion ingredients, but it didn't take long before they found themselves sitting on the edge of the bed where they had made love before.

Severus could tell that Lily was in distress, as she wasn't speaking as much as she normally did, and knew she was able to sense the same distress in him. The days leading up to hallowe'en had always been the worst days out of the year. The memory of her death, and the many years that followed, every hallowe'en had been nothing short of disastrous.

He could feel the tips of her fingers running up and down the inside of his thigh, and he knew exactly what it was she was insinuating. A part of him wasn't sure whether he was in the mood or not. His mind too occupied with the disappearance of Scamander. The death of the McKinnons. The fact that Umbridge was still at Hogwarts. Potter's growing jealousy... but he gave in as soon as he felt her soft lips connect to the nape of his neck.

'We still need to go to Slughorn's pre hallowe'en party,' said Severus while he closed his eyes as he laid down flat on his back.

'He can wait for a little while,' said Lily as the tips of her fingers found their way underneath his shirt. 'For now, I just want to be close to you.'

A wave of sweet desire washed over Severus as Lily's hands traced the sensitive skin above his belt line. A warm, pounding sensation rose up from his trousers, wanting nothing more than to feel her warmth on top of him.

It didn't take very long before he felt her legs clenched around his thighs. Her red hair dancing around her as she released her sexual desires on top of him. He touched her breasts and teased her nipples between wet thumbs and fingers as he felt her growing tighter and tighter around him. Her moans growing loader with each movement.

Severus didn't finish, nor did he have a desire to do so. As long as Lily was satisfied, so was he. They stuck around for a while lying in each other's arms, dozing off on the comfortable bed until suddenly he was woken up by an elbow jamming into his ribs.

'We're late for Slughorn's party!' Lily squeaked as she shook him roughly by the shoulders. 'We have to get going, Sev!'

'It's not as if we're missing out on much,' growled Severus, slightly irritated by the rude awakening. 'Why do you want to go so badly?'

'Because I feel like we owe Professor Slughorn,' said Lily as she rolled out of bed. 'He's always there for us when we need him. He was there for you when your mum died. When you received your Order of merlin. When your father died. He gave us a new potions lab to work in... I see no reason not to go.'

'Because it'll be crowded,' mumbled Severus as he flattened his hair. 'But you're right. We do owe him. We better change and get going.'

…

It was the first time since Severus had a reason for wearing the black robes Augusta Longbottom had given him the past summer. As much as he was dreading the party, it felt good to be wearing his old clothes again. And yet it was brand new to the touch. The black had yet to be fading to grey over the years to come. The buttons still shone, and the fabric still faintly smelled of dye.

With a slight smirk on his face, Severus made his way out of the Slytherin common room and met with Lily to continue walking down the dungeon corridor. Faint voices could be heard before they turned the corner that led to Professor Slughorn's office. There, they were met with a large chunk of the Young Order, some people that were bound to be famous for one thing or another, several teachers, and – to Severus's pleasant surprise – the Belby family.

Knowing he was surrounded by people he could trust, Severus felt a little bit more at ease at the party than he had done the first time around. Shifting like a spider along the edges of the wall, he made his way over to the Belbys and greeted them with a firm handshake. 'Surprised to see you both here,' he said. 'Especially with Dolores Umbridge roaming the castle. Where's Bronwyn?'

'Couldn't pass on an invitation from Professor Slughorn, could we,' said Catriona with a smile. 'And Bronwyn's right over there, in Lily's arms.'

Severus craned his shoulder to see where Catriona was pointing at, and with a wave of jealousy washed over him as he saw not just Lily, but also Potter crooning over the little boy. The fact that Potter was capable of making Bronwyn laugh wasn't making the situation any better. 'Glad to see he's healthy,' he said stiffly. 'Any particular reason you're here?'

'You seem a little irritated, Severus,' said Damocles with a tone of concern. 'Anything wrong?'

'Just not a fan of crowds,' said Severus, the words falling out of his mouth like a weak excuse.

From behind him, Damocles grabbed three bottles of butterbeer and uncorked them with the tip of his wand. 'Here,' he said as he pushed a bottle into Severus's hands. 'That ought to calm your nerves a bit.'

'Any plans for Hallowe'en, Severus?' asked Catriona after she took a sip from her butterbeer. 'Too bad it falls on a Sunday. I doubt anything will be open in Hogsmeade tomorrow.'

'Aside from the traditional Hallowe'en feast?' said Severus in response, 'not much. I can't help but feel this odd sense of dread lingering in the air.'

Unsure why he was even being so honest about his poor state of mind, he decided to chuck down the entire bottle of butterbeer in one gulp and excused himself to join Lily. From the corner of his eye he could see that Remus had taken his place, and felt slightly relieved that he didn't have to participate in the social pressure of speaking with the Belbys.

Bronwyn had grown significantly since they last time he had held him in the Leaky Cauldron. Still very much a baby, there was a bit more of a personality to read from his tiny face. Although Severus doubted that Bronwyn would remember him, the little boy's eyes still shifted his focus from Potter's face to his, and smiled.

'Fine little fella, isn't he?' said Slughorn suddenly from behind them. 'Glad to see you here, Severus. I wasn't expecting you to show up.'

'To be honest with you, Professor,' said Severus, 'I wasn't quite sure whether I wanted to be here or not.'

'And yet, you came,' said Slughorn as he patted Severus's shoulder a little too hard, and drew his voice to a whisper. 'Glad to see you're doing so much better than before.'

Severus nodded stiffly in understanding and focussed on the small child in Lily's arms, who was slowly snoozing off by her gentle rocking. Although he wasn't fond about children in any form or way, there was still something very endearing about seeing the love of his life cuddling with a child. A memory flashed before his eyes, when he had pleased with the Dark Lord to spare her life, and wandered what would've happened if she had lived, and her son had died instead. Thinking back on it, had her son died that night, she probably would've died from heartbreak shortly after. No one would've been a winner in that situation.

Potter had left to re-join his friends after Bronwyn had fallen asleep. Lily then handed him back to Damocles where he continued to snooze, and walked her way up to the table that was covered in small bites and sweets. 'Such a lovely baby,' she said as she piled some caramel apple slices onto a plate. 'Are you doing okay, Sev?'

Severus shrugged. 'I can't quite determine whether I'm bored or just tired,' he said as he watched Professor Slughorn talk to Remus and Sirius over Lily's shoulder.

'If you prefer to go to sleep, I'm not the one holding you back,' said Lily with a smile. 'I'm sure Slughorn will understand.'

With a sweep of his arm Severus pulled Lily in by the back of her neck and kissed her on the lips. 'I will see you again at breakfast. I probably just need to catch some sleep.'

Lily returned the kiss and squeezed him in his shoulder. 'Just talk to me through the mirror if you can't sleep.'

After a polite wave to everyone he knew in the room he headed back to the Slytherin dormitories. Paul was already waiting for him on the bed, as if he somehow knew that Severus wouldn't be gone for long.

Tossing his robes to the side, Severus crawled into bed and felt Paul curling up in the nape of his neck. Being surrounded by the darkness did not bring him as much comfort as it usually did. The ill sense of foreboding still lingered that neither sleep nor Lily's presence could settle down.

In both his heart and mind Severus knew that things were about to change. He picked up his two-way mirror, only to come to the conclusion that Lily was probably still at Slughorn's party, and wondered if she was feeling the same thing he was feeling.

As he slowly drifted off to sleep, the storm in his mind black out in clouds of thunder. A new threat was luring just around the corner.


	195. A New Prophecy

Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary on the morning of Hallowe'en. The school's corridors and halls were decorated overnight with floating pumpkins and cobwebs. Magical bats were flying around, and occasionally one would burst into a shower of orange and black confetti if it hit the wall by accident.

Despite the fact that it was Sunday, neither student nor staff dared going outside. There was a heavy storm raging. The rain clattered loudly against the magical ceiling of the Great Hall, making it almost impossible to have a proper conversation without having to shout.

By the turn of noon, the library was overcrowded with students catching up on homework, proclaiming this year's Hallowe'en as the dullest one in over a hundred years. It was cold. Even colder than the day before, and for once even Severus had to admit that the warmth of the Gryffindor common room seemed far more appealing than the Slytherin dungeons. He had no recollection of this particular Hallowe'en being this cold during his first life, but reflection back on it he probably hadn't felt enough to care.

All huddled up in a dusty corner of the library, Severus and Lily caught up on any snippets of homework they had left, along with almost every other member of the Young Order. 'You think it'll ever stop?' mumbled Remus lazily as he stared out of the window. 'Or is the rain slowly turning into a hail storm?'

'That's definitely a hail storm,' said Mary dryly, the icy rocks now causing the windows to rattle. 'This truly is the worst Hallowe'en I've ever experienced.'

'But it doesn't have to be the worst,' said Sirius loudly with a frown on his face. 'I know there's something that we could still do – since we can't make it into Hogsmeade.'

The twinkle in Sirius's eyes revealed that he had a plan up his sleeve that only a Marauder would be able to achieve. 'It's nothing big, really,' he added with a shrug. 'Just that the underground passageway to Honeydukes is still open. We could always pay a visit there...and maybe some of the pubs will be open.'

The emphasis on "pubs" was a clear sign that scavenging for sweets wasn't the main intent of the underground journey to Hogsmeade. Despite most of the shops being closed, the pubs and tea shops were bound to be open.

'I'm in!' said Lily enthusiastically. 'I could go for something adventurous. Anything's better than this.'

'We all know how spending Hallowe'en in Hogsmeade looked like last year,' said Severus, his mind flashing back to seeing the Dark Mark floating in the sky. 'Are you sure this is a good idea?'

'If it's no good we can always simply head back,' said Remus as he suddenly started packing up his books. 'Lily's right. Anything's better than this.'

…

Torn between last year's event and the idea of Lily heading out to Hogsmeade without him, Severus shoved his ill sense of foreboding aside and followed the group down the passage that was hidden by the statue of the one-eyed witch.

The marauders must have some sort of agreement with the sweet shop's owner, for they grabbed some chocolate bars and left some money on the counter like they had done it a dozen times before. With the strongest weather resisting charms they could muster, they faced the hail storm and headed straight to the Three Broomsticks.

The warmth of the fireplace was welcomed by the entire group. Madam Rosmerta shot all of them a single glare and then shrugged, most likely deciding that it wasn't her problem that a few students had managed to escape the castle.

Potter decided to buy everyone a round of Butterbeer and started splitting up the chocolate bars he had taken from Honeydukes. While the group happily chatted away, the heavy hail turned into large drops of rain, and the wind suddenly turned warmer and low rumblings could be heard in the distance.

'Bit odd to hear thunder this time of year,' said Emma as she wiped away the fog from the window. 'There's some snow falling as well.'

'Looks like winter came early,' said Mary, not sounding pleased in the slightest. 'Still, snow's better than a hail storm.'

Severus peeked through the small section of glass Emma had cleared. It was bizarre to see snow falling around this early in the year, but then again, they were quite high up North and most of the time the first snow would've fallen within the span of a few weeks. It was more the low rumbling and sudden change of wind that set him off. It almost didn't feel natural, although he knew that the rare occurrence of snowfall and thunder was definitely plausible. 'Lily,' he said as he turned to her, 'perhaps we should pay Mister Aberforth a visit before we head back to the castle.'

'You think he might want to talk about Marlene?' asked Lily.

Severus nodded, knowing that Aberforth probably didn't know Marlene well enough to care about her death on a personal level. 'Perhaps Dumbledore will be there too. It'll be the perfect moment to talk about what happened last year – and to her.'

'Then we better get going before the sun's down,' said Lily, already tossing on her cloak as she spoke. 'Or before another hail storm washes over.'

Draining his butterbeer, Severus followed Lily out of the Three Broomsticks and followed the path that led to Aberforth's inn. Compared to the pub they had just left, the air was much colder and the few people present were all covered up in thick layers of clothing in order to stay warm.

Aberforth, who was busying himself with a dirty rag behind the counter, did not seem bothered by the cold in the slightest. 'Mister Snape, Miss Evans,' he mumbled with a nod in their direction. 'What brings you here on this particularly bleak and dreary Hallowe'en?'

'Just figured we'd pay you a visit,' said Lily as she wiped some dust of a bar stool and sat down. 'We haven't been here since the attack by the Death Eaters last year.'

'Can't say I blame you,' Aberforth answered. 'I heard of the McKinnons from my brother. Tragic. Very tragic.'

With a sad look on her face, Lily nodded in agreement. 'How have you been, Mister Dumbledore?' she asked.

'Same old, same old,' mumbled Aberforth as he poured both Lily and Severus a royal shot of fire whisky, and placed the bottle on the counter. 'Feel free to pour some more if you want.'

Lily carefully took a sip and mumbled that she needed to make use of the loo. As she strutted off, Severus kept staring into his glass of firewhisky, watching the flames inside the liquid gently swirl around, hypnotising, and for a split moment he wandered if his father would've liked this kind of whisky had he not been so frightened of magic.

It wasn't until he had nearly finished his second glass that he realised Lily was taking an awful long time to return. He craned his neck towards the bathrooms and expected her to pop out any second, but from the corner of his eye her unmistakable red hair was nearly overshadowed by another woman's wild blonde hair. She was sitting with a lady at a table by the window, holding what appeared to be a deep conversation. Lily's eye caught his, and her eyebrow raised up into an apologetic frown, as if she had somehow been sucked into a conversation she didn't particularly wanted to engage in in the first place.

Ready to save Lily from having to deal with an awkward conversation, Severus puffed out his chest and walked confidently up to Lily, only to feel his heart grow cold as soon as he saw whom she was speaking to.

Her niffler skin coat had hidden all of her many layers of sparkling jewellery. Different coloured beaded shawls covered her face up to her ears, and perhaps the most distinct feature of all, her glasses made her eyes pop out like a large bug.

'Oh hello dear!' said Trelawney happily before Severus was able to open his mouth. 'You must be Severus. I'm Sybill Trelawney.' She extended her hand only to pull it back again, as if she had somehow detected some negative energy floating around him that repulsed her. 'I was just telling your lovely girlfriend what a bright future she has ahead of her. Please, have a seat.'

'I'd rather not,' said Severus stiffly. 'Lily, it's time to leave.'

'Wha – why?' asked Lily. 'What's –'

'Now.'

Trelawney glanced at Lily as if she was telepathically trying to say she should find herself a less demanding boyfriend. 'Not before you tell me what's going on, Sev,' said Lily stubbornly. 'What's gotten into y –'

Figuring an appropriate apology could come later, Severus took a hold of Lily by the shoulders and pushed her out of her chair. 'Follow me,' he said as he forced her back to the bar. 'I'll explain later.'

'What's wrong with me talking to her,' snapped Lily into his ear. 'She's just some hippie, Sev. Said she could predict my future if I wanted to. Just take it with a grain of s –'

'She's not just any hippie,' Severus snapped back. 'We need to head back to the castle. Now.'

'You better have a bloody good explanation on why you're doing this!' said Lily, growing angry, and drained the remainder of her whisky in one large gulp. 'I refuse to head into that snow storm unless –'

'Don't make me force you!' Severus yelled. 'This is not an appropriate place to start an argument like this!'

Severus drew a deep breath to calm himself down and lowered his voice. 'Please, Lily, you have no idea how serious this is.'

'I know it is,' said Lily as she mimicked his breathing. 'Your eyes have grown cold.'

'Let's head back to the Three Broomsticks,' said Severus. 'I'll explain later. I prom –'

' – _Souls scattered across time. The four great wizards who defied death realigned. Darkness comes when meddled with time. Three must falter to realign before darkness comes – souls scattered across time. The four great wizards–'_

'Is she having a fit or something,' said Lily before coming to the conclusion that something was terribly wrong.

'No,' was all Severus could mumble. 'No. This can't be happening, This –'

'Sev! Help me out I think she's having a fit!' yelled Lily who had sprinted passed the tables to come to Trelawney's aid. _'Three must falther –'_ 'I don't understand what she's talking about! Miss Trelawney? Sybill? Please snap out of it!'

Trying hard to snap out of his own trance, Severus ordered Aberforth to call for his brother's aid. Aberforth quickly send out his Patronus in the castle's direction. His biggest fear had come true. All this time he had an ill sense of foreboding. That he should have locked himself up inside the Slytherin dorm rooms and wait for Hallowe'en to pass. _'Darkness comes –'_

'I don't understand what's going on, Sev!' Lily yelled through her tears. 'What is happening to her?'

Lily was holding tightly onto Trelawney's coat, as if she expected her to topple over if she didn't keep her in place.

'She's a Seer, Lily,' said Severus with a slight tremble in his voice as he placed a hand on her shoulder. 'She creates prophecies. That's what she does.'

_'– the four great wizards – '_

The repeating pattern in Trelawney's alien voice started to fade, and Lily felt comfortable enough to let go of her coat. 'How can you be so sure, Sev?' she asked as she wiped a tear on her sleeve. 'Have you met her before?'

'I have,' said Severus, knowing that honestly was the best policy. 'You know I carry many secrets, and every single one starts with her.'

The door of the inn banged open, and in came a rather furious looking Dumbledore. His blue eyes searching the inn until he found his brother behind the bar, who had already gone back to cleaning it with a dirty rag. 'What in the name of Merlin is going on, Aberforth?'

'That lady over there had a fit,' said Aberforth casually. 'Severus wanted me to summon you.'

'She didn't have a fit,' said Severus loudly. 'She's a Seer. She just created a new prophecy.'

'Pretty sure I must've fallen asleep, dear,' said Trelawney behind him, sounding a little snappy. 'If I had predicted anything I would've known. Now if you all excuse me, I better go lie down for a while.'

Lily was about to stop Trelawney as she made her way upstairs, but Severus forced her to stay quiet. 'It's time for me to tell you everything I know,' he whispered into her ear. 'Aberforth,' he said as he looked up, ' if possible, I need you to bring Lily back to the castle. I need to speak with Albus in private, please.'

With a sigh and a nod of understanding Aberforth guided Lily out of the pub, and Severus signed to her that he would meet her up on the Astronomy Tower as soon as he made it back to the castle.

Not beating around the bush, Severus repeated the entire prophecy to Albus as they slowly walked their way back to the castle. He had a vague understanding of what it meant, but his mind didn't want to wrap around the deeper layers. All he could think off was how it was time to tell Lily about his future's past, knowing that her response would be as unpredictable as a relentless storm.

'Perhaps it would be best if we continued this discussion after class tomorrow,' said Albus. 'Especially since this is not the first time since you've dealt with a prophecy speaking of death.'

'The difference is that Trelawney made a prophecy in your presence that time, though,' Severus added. 'I only heard parts of it back then, which caused a bigger mess of everything that I care to admit.'

'Go speak with Lily,' said Albus as they made their way inside the castle. 'If anyone deserves to have a better understanding of it all, it's her. As I said, we shall continue this tomorrow.'

Severus nodded and followed Albus in silence up the staircases until it was time to separate and make a turn up to the Astronomy Tower. With a strong desire to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes and his shoes weighing him down like lead, he found Lily sitting in the middle of the tower, surrounded by flames to keep herself warm.

She turned around, looking confused but smiling nonetheless. His entire red-headed universe was sitting there, not knowing that the world as she knows it was about to grow infinitely bigger.

Severus took a hold of her hand as he sat down beside her, and looked her straight in the eye to make sure she was ready to hear everything she deserved to know. 'Before I keep you up all night with my endless rambling, please remember I did everything out of love for you.'

With a graceful flick of her wrist she tossed a pack of smokes straight into his lap. 'Then start talking. I've got all night.'


	196. To Open a Man's Soul I

Severus had nearly finished his second cigarette before he found the courage – or appropriate opening – to speak up. 'Do you remember,' he started off, his voice sounding stained from the nicotine, 'how you looked at me when you saw me on the train, at the start of our fifth year?'

'Not sure how I looked at you,' said Lily as she flicked her cigarette's bud over the edge of the Tower, 'but I remember your odd rambling about being dead, drowning yourself to come back to life...and also something about the goldfish I once gave you.'

'Pip,' Severus confirmed. 'My father was the reason Pip died, you know? Allowed him to suffocate after breaking his bowl in a fit of rage.'

'I don't recall,' said Lily, looking up if she was somehow trying to retrieve the memory out of thin air.

'It's not surprising that you don't remember,' said Severus, 'because this story has never happened to you.'

'Did something happen in the continuation of time?' Lily asked. 'Is that what you're trying to say?'

'Something the like,' said Severus, 'but on a much, much grander scale.'

'I'm listening,' said Lily, her hand firmly clutched into his. 'But please explain yourself when there are things that I don't understand.'

Severus looked straight ahead as gentle snow kept falling all around them; blocking any view they would normally have of the Forbidden Forest and the Great Lake. 'Do you remember how I looked at you, when I saw you on that train?'

'You looked confused, if I recall correctly,' said Lily. 'Then again we hadn't seen each other throughout most of the summer and neither of us quite knew what to say. You acted very strange...'

'The truth is, Lily...I hadn't seen you in quite a while, and –'

'—well I know because we were started to grow apart, and that summer was –'

'—Lily, please. When I saw you again on that train, it hadn't been just a few months, but over seventeen years since I last saw you.'

A silence fell between the couple. Severus could feel the stinging pressure of tears forming behind his eyes as he looked down into his lap. All those years that were filled with her absence washed over him like shards of ice. Every single thing he had ever done in her name had led him back to her – and to this very particular moment. 'I was born,' he said with great difficulty, 'on the ninth of January, in the year of nineteen-sixty, exactly three weeks prior before you. As of this very moment, I am sixteen years old – just like you. The only difference, is that I have also graduated from Hogwarts, ended up in a very complicated web of lies and deceit, and died, on the second of May, in the year of nineteen ninety-eight.'

'So that would've made you...thirty-eight?' Lily mumbled. 'Thirty-eight. I'm sorry, Sev – please look at me – help me try to make sense of all this.'

'Are you not freaking out by all this?' said Severus as he wiped a tear from the tip of his nose. 'I basically just told you I'm secretly an old man.'

A corner of Lily's mouth twitched before she spoke. 'You don't look that old to me, but that still doesn't explain the why – or the how...'

'It doesn't have anything to do with Time-Turners, or other time-related magic of any sort,' said Severus. 'It's just – you do believe me, don't you?'

'I'm not sure what to say, or even what to believe, Sev,' said Lily. 'I've been confused about pretty much everything the moment I met that odd hippie earlier today. This whole... _prophecy_ , and you tell me you're actually much older but you're also not...'

'I'm not sure where to begin,' said Severus. 'It's a long story, expanding far beyond the time we live in.'

'Does anyone else know about any of this?' asked Lily.

'Dumbledore does,' said Severus, mildly irritated. 'I had no choice but to deliver since he looked inside my mind the minute I set foot inside the castle...and I'm quite sure Nicolas and Perenelle know more about my situation. Lily – I'm sorry I kept this a secret for so –'

Lily silenced him by placing a finger gently against his lips, proceeded to let go of his hand and stood up. 'Please continue to tell me everything while I pace around. My mind is desperately trying to make sense of things.'

Severus watched Lily walk around in circles. The flames she had conjured earlier followed after her like a litter of puppies happily bouncing up and down. 'I don't know where to start,' he said. 'There is so much to tell.'

'Then start at the end,' said Lily with an edge to her tone. 'Tell me how you died – and why.'

'There was a war,' Severus started off with. 'Not the one that is currently unfolding, but the second one, led by the Dark Lord after his return.'

'His return?' asked Lily as she shot him a questionable eye.

'He disappeared, once,' said Severus. 'But that's not the end of the story. The end is where the Dark Lord killed me during the battle that happened at Hogwarts. It was when I died, when something rather peculiar happened.'

'Is this where your story you told me on the train comes in?'

'Yes. When I died, I ended up in a place that wasn't what I figured was the end. The first thing that came into view was Pip presenting himself to me. The next thing I know someone was calling out to me, asking if it was Francis.'

'Francis?'

'The fish you gave professor Slughorn, remember? He named it Francis; after Francis Bacon.'

'Well I remember that, of course. But how does this correlate to your death?'

'Because when I was in this in-between place – or limbo if that's what you want to call it – it was professor Slughorn I met. He died on that battlefield as well, and lived a long and happy life and was ready to return to his wife.' Severus drew a deep breath, choosing his words carefully to explain how he had returned. 'Slughorn presented me with a choice. I was either to move on – as he called it – or choose to go back and set my records straight. I've done a lot of terrible things during my first life, Lily. A lot of things I regret 'till this very day.'

Lily didn't ask any questions, but merely looked at him with pleading eyes to continue his story. 'During my first life, we broke our friendship at the end of our fifth year. The Marauders were bullying me, and although we were already going through a rough time together, you ran up to me in order to help me out. Instead of appreciating what you were doing for me, I saw my Slytherin friends observe me from a distance, and instead of showing gratitude I called you a Mudblood instead. Ever since that day, we passed each other in the hallways, shared classes, and saw each other on the streets in Cokeworth – but we never uttered a single word to each other any more.'

'That's rather depressing,' said Lily with a frown. 'But that still doesn't explain how you were able to come back. How does limbo even look like?'

'I suppose it looks like any place you hold dear,' said Severus. 'For me, it was the riverbank of the Themes in Cokeworth. That secret place where we would always go to hide in the shade during the summer. I sat down there with Slughorn, holding the fishbowl with Pip in it in my arms. The most important record I wanted to set straight was the one with you, and so I chose to go back.'

Lily knelt down in front of him, the flames still surrounding her. 'All of that, just because we broke our friendship?' she asked.

Severus shook his head. 'Not just that. Because you died – and you died because of me.' He pulled two more cigarettes from the pack and handed one to Lily. 'Before I scare you any more than I already have, do understand that nothing is the same as it was during that life. I can't predict your death.'

With a snap of her fingers Lily lit her cigarette and blow smoke through her nose. 'How did you come back...and how did I die?'

'I drowned myself,' said Severus. 'Right there in the river I let myself sink to the bottom, and I woke up in my old room at Spinner's End on the first day of our fifth year.'

'You drowned yourself?' Lily gasped. 'How?'

'I can't swim, remember?' said Severus, and bit his lip to prevent himself from smirking. 'My ability to drown is what saved me in the end. But about your death...that fault lies with me, and me alone.'

Lily shot Severus a look as if she was peaking over invisible glasses. 'Did you...kill me?' she asked carefully.

'No,' said Severus, shaking his head violently. 'No, you were killed by the hands of the Dark Lord. A prophecy was made by the same woman who just made a brand-new prophecy this very evening, and it resulted in a hunt after you. The reason why I blame myself for your death is because I overheard parts of the prophecy, and I passed on the information to the Dark Lord...which granted me a higher place among his ranks.'

'You were a Death Eater,' Lily mumbled to herself. 'You really did turn to his side.'

'Lily, I had lost you,' said Severus as he blew smoke through his nose. 'The only people who picked me up and pretended to care were people like Avery and Mulciber, whom we both know were – and still are – destined to be Death Eaters. As I said, I lost you. I lost my parents, and the Dark Lord was the only one who offered me a roof over my head in exchange for my services.'

'Did you ever truly believe in his cause?' asked Lily carefully.

'I believed that the government had to be overthrown,' said Severus, 'and yes, I also believed that the wizarding world was in need of purification, and that conviction was fuelled by the fact that my Muggle father was responsible for my witch mother's death.'

All Lily was able to do was shake her head slightly in disbelief. 'It must've been painful, living with convictions that have their foundations rooted in hate.'

'When I knew it was you who was in danger,' said Severus, 'I sought help from Dumbledore. When I convinced him that I could be trusted, he offered me a position at Hogwarts – in exchange for my services.'

'A position at Hogwarts?' asked Lily with a tilted eye. 'What is it that you did around here?'

'I taught,' said Severus with a cough. 'Potions. I took over Slughorn's position after he retired.'

Lily slapped a hand in front of his mouth to prevent herself from bursting out in laughter. 'You taught Potions? You had _actual_ students who had to listen to you on how to brew potions?'

'Funny how you're literally the only person who seems to understand why that is such a bad idea,' said Severus, grinning along with her. 'I knew how to keep them quiet though. My mere presence was enough.'

'Does that mean you were the head of house as well?'

'Yes, I was.'

Through all the heavy layers of the conversation they had just had, Lily burst out in a fit of giggles to the point where she lost her ability to breathe. 'Sev – you...teaching children...'

'Yes, it sounds ridiculous – and it was rather ridiculous,' said Severus, unable to keep his cool as he watched Lily nearly tip over from laughing. 'But I had to. It's the promise I had made Dumbledore in order to keep me safe.'

'So, you did turn?' asked Lily when she had finally cooled off. 'How come?'

Severus felt a hint of shame wash over him. 'Because I begged the Dark Lord to spare your life. He promised me he would – only to break that promise to me. In the end my love for you were stronger than my convictions.'

Lily smiled and planted a kiss on his cheek. 'There are a million more things that I would like to ask you, but perhaps you should tell me what this new prophecy is all about. If you have any understanding of it, at least.'

'I have a philosophy on it,' said Severus. 'But perhaps it is wise if you came to Dumbledore with me tomorrow. I'm sure he won't mind carrying a piece of the burden with me.'


	197. To Open a Man's Soul II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N At some point while writing this I forgot that Dumbledore had lent Severus his copy of Beedle the Bard. Please consider it a minor flaw and pretend it never happened. Once I have finished writing the entire story I will change it.

After the shock of Severus's exposure to Lily had finally subdued a bit, Lily suddenly exploded with a list full of questions that she had for him. Although she claimed to understand that the future will never be the same again due to his choices this time around, she still asked many things Severus was barely able to answer. From what happened to her family (no clue), to her friends (he found no reason to mention Sirius's imprisonment), to new records coming out (he recalled a couple and that seemed to make her very happy), to what happened at the end of the war (he preferred to share that information for when they would sit down with Dumbledore, if it ever came down to it).

Even after they left the Astronomy Tower to head to bed, Lily still whispered to him through their two-way mirror, bombing him with questions that kept popping up inside her head. Eventually Paul decided that he hadn't received enough attention yet, and smacked the mirror from Severus's hands onto his sheets. 'I guess Paul wants me to go to sleep,' he said as he started scratching Paul behind the ears. 'Lily, I think it would be best if we continued this conversation in Dumbledore's presence.'

Lily nodded in understanding. 'You're right, Sev,' she said as she hoovered the mirror above her face. 'I'm sorry, it's just – it's just that this situation isn't exactly tangible, and very hard to grasp.'

Severus leaned in and his hair covered the sides of the mirror. 'That I can understand,' he said. 'I'm just glad you're not angry with me – or disgusted.'

'You're still sixteen in my eyes,' said Lily with a shrug. 'Just a sixteen-year-old who, apparently, is receiving top marks because he's done it all before.'

'I didn't for Care of Magical Creatures, though,' said Severus with a slightly bitter taste in his mouth. 'I never took that class the first time around.'

'Oh ha ha,' said Lily mockingly. 'You're still brilliant. Which, now that I think of it, is probably why you keep getting away with knowing everything that you already know.'

'I'll see you tomorrow,' said Severus as he planted a kiss against the mirror. 'Thank you for being so patient with me.'

Lily returned the favour by planting a kiss against the mirror from her side. 'Thank you for opening yourself up to me. No more secrets.'

With a wave of his wand Severus cleared the light that was floating around his four-poster bed and hid the mirror underneath his pillow. He lied down with Paul curling up around his head. It felt good to have finally been able to expose his secrets to her, and yet he had carefully avoided mentioning Potter, or the son they had, at all. He wasn't sure if that kind of exposure was something they were both ready for.

…

'Welcome back Severus, and you Miss Evans,' said Dumbledore with a gesture towards the seats in front of his desk. 'I think it would be best if we skipped the formalities and talk about why we are in this meeting. Tea?'

Severus took the liberty of pouring tea for the three of them as Dumbledore broke the ice of the meeting. 'I'm sure you must have many questions, Miss Evans. If it is safe for me to assume that Severus has informed you of his situation?'

'That, and much more,' said Lily with a nod. 'It's still very hard for me to grasp everything that he's told me though.'

 _'I haven't told her anything about Potter, or their son,'_ whispered Severus inside Dumbledore's mind as he made eye-contact. _'I wasn't ready.'_

_'I shall keep it in mind._ _'_

_as we continue this meeting,'_ said Dumbledore back as his blue eyes penetrated the black. _'But remember, no secret can hide forever'._

'He told me about some albums that are coming out in the next few years,' Lily added, shifting a little uncomfortably in her seat. 'Not quite sure whether it's okay for me to know those things.'

Dumbledore's eyes glimmered a bit at the sight of Lily. 'There's nothing to fear, Miss Evans. Is there anything you'd like to know from me?'

'Actually, I do,' said Lily, her insecure posture suddenly turning to one of determination. 'I want to know where you took Severus, the last time you came to visit us in Cokeworth.'

Severus shot a small nod of approval in Dumbledore's direction, figuring it would be best if Dumbledore were the one to inform Lily of their little endeavour with the Dark Lord. By the time Dumbledore had finished explaining everything that had happened, including the part where Severus had stayed behind and had spoken with the Dark Lord, Lily's expressions had gone from amazed to angry, shocked, and a little upset within the span of a few minutes. She opened her mouth several times as if there was something she wanted to acknowledge, but remained silent as Severus gently squeezed her leg in a poor attempt to reassure her.

'Severus's involvement,' Dumbledore added, 'and history with the Dark Lord, will always be entwined no matter what timeline we live our lives.'

'How come?' Lily asked.

'Because of the prophecy,' said Dumbledore. 'There has been a prophecy before, as you may know, and now there has been a prophecy again. Do you remember the words that you overheard at my brother's inn?'

' _The four great wizards who defied death realigned. Darkness comes when meddled with time. Three must falter to realign before darkness comes. Souls scattered across time_...' Lily repeated as she summed up what she had overheard.

'Do you have any slightest idea what that might mean?' asked Dumbledore.

Lily shook her head. 'No clue,' she mumbled. 'But if I break it down, this prophecy has to be about four specific people that need to be brought together somehow...'

'Close,' said Dumbledore. 'It is true that this is about four specific people. Four of them, who have defied death through separate means, and one of them is sitting in this very room.'

Lily looked up at Severus, who closed his eyes for a few seconds and let out a soft sigh. 'It feels like some sort of punishment,' he said darkly. 'Becoming part of a prophecy for having once meddled with time before.'

'Perhaps,' said Dumbledore with a nod, 'but it doesn't have to be considered a form of punishment. It could be –'

'I don't want to hear your little words of wisdom!' Severus blurted out. 'I wish to know who the other three wizards are so we can put an end to this.'

'Can't you think of anyone?' Dumbledore asked, keeping his calm.

It was Lily who answered. 'Your friend, mister Flamel – and You-Know-Who,' she said. 'Mister Flamel has the Philosopher's Stone and so he is escaping death much longer than any wizard has done before, and You-Know-Who through means that we don't know for sure yet. But who would be the third?'

Dumbledore placed his half-moon spectacles carefully on the desk and rested his hands beside it. 'That would be Gellert Grindelwald,' he said, his voice growing cold. 'My old friend.'

'Grindelwald?' mumbled Lily. 'Are were talking about the man who was responsible for the first wizarding war?'

'And my old friend,' Dumbledore repeated. He gracefully stood up from his desk and made his way up to the many shelves that adorned his office. Within a few seconds he had found what he had been looking for. A small book, covered in dust and ancient runes, was placed in front of Lily and Severus to see.

'I thought he had been defeated – by you,' asked Lily carefully as Severus carefully picked up the book and wiped the dust off with his sleeve.

'Defeated, not killed,' Dumbledore said as he sat back down again. 'He has been biding his time inside the walls of Nurmengard – the prison he had built to hold his opponents – since the day I defeated him.'

'And only you know where it is,' said Severus, still leafing through the pages of the book with intense interest.

'I do know of the prison's location,' said Dumbledore. 'It's guarded as heavy – if not heavier – than the gates of Azkaban.'

'This book was a gift, wasn't it?' said Severus sharply. 'Not surprised to see your name signed with Grindelwald's mark.'

'I am glad to hear that you are more aware of my past than I was aware of,' said Dumbledore with a sly smile. 'Could you please share with us what it is that you know.'

'I know that when you were young you lived in Godric's Hollow,' said Severus as he passed on the book for Lily to see. 'There, a new face came into your life by the name of Gellert Grindelwald. Although a student at Durmstrang, he was sent there to stay with his English aunt, Bathilda Bagshot. Someone who is a friend of yours 'till this very day.'

'I sense resentment in your words,' said Dumbledore. 'How come?'

'Because you allied yourself with a man ready to overthrow the International Statute of Secrecy,' said Severus, his voice growing harsh. 'Because you stood by a man who did not terrorise only England, but the whole of Europe.'

'And why does this make you angry?' asked Dumbledore, growing concerned.

'Because you remind me of myself,' said Severus. 'Because I have made that mistake, and it still fills me up with regret.'

'Do you remember your motives, Severus?' Dumbledore asked. 'Do you remember why you joined Voldemort's side?'

'Because I had nothing left to lose,' snapped Severus.

Dumbledore smiled and nodded in understanding. 'Then you are right, that we are – in many ways – similar. Sometimes love can make us do the most terrible of things.'

For a moment silence fell over the office, and only Fawkes could be heard snoring softly on his perch. It wasn't until Lily placed the book back on the desk with a thud and looked Dumbledore straight in the eye. 'You loved him, didn't you?' she said carefully. 'Grindelwald. He was more than just your friend.'

'In my own mind, perhaps,' said Dumbledore. He still had a smile etched onto his face, but his eyes betrayed the sadness behind those words. 'It's hard, when love and admiration for someone are printed on but one side of the page. It took me a long time – or too long, I should say – before I saw the light again. By then, it was too late, and I had no choice but to find a way to defeat him.'

'What does Grindelwald's mark have to do with all of this?' asked Severus with a gesture to the book.

'The mark relates to the Tale of the Three Brothers,' Dumbledore explained. 'The one's who cheated death. The eldest brother wished for a wand more powerful than any other...' From the depths of his cloak Dumbledore pulled out the Elder wand and placed it on the desk. 'We have discussed this before, some moons ago. The second brother wished for his loved ones to return from the dead, and so Death gave him a pebble from the river.' From the desk's drawer he pulled out the ring Severus had destroyed and placed beside the wand. 'The ring may be destroyed, but the stone – still baring Grindelwald's mark – is still intact. The youngest brother was the most humble, and so he only asked for a way to avoid Death until he found that it was time to leave this life. Death gave him a piece of his own robe's fabric, so the youngest brother could hide in plain sight whenever he needed to.'

'All of this is real,' mumbled Lily as she carefully picked up the ring to see. 'How does it work?'

'Some things are best not to know,' said Dumbledore. 'Even if we returned all our loved ones from the dead, they would never be the same as they were in the living world.'

Lily nodded in understanding and placed the ring back on the table. 'Do you think that Grindelwald might have what the youngest brother had?' she asked.

'He most likely hid it before he was sent off to Nurmengard,' said Dumbledore. 'Now that we have this prophecy, perhaps, after all these years, it's time to pay him a visit.'

'Where can we find his prison?' asked Severus, sounding determined.

'Behind the wall,' said Dumbledore, 'of Eastern Germany - and beyond.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Reminder that the Berlin wall was still standing up on this point. Muggle as it is to us, I figured that under Grindelwald's reign a lot of magic must've been applied as well.


	198. The Day Regulus Black had Made his Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N This is the point where I continued writing the story after two years of letting it catch dust in the corner of my computer. I reread the whole thing and wrote down all the major things that still need to happen. It's time to give it the proper ending it deserves.

_Should we inform the Young Order? We're not coming back here after Christmas, are we? Are we really going to look for Grindelwald? What does Avery have to do with all of this? Shouldn't we inform Remus at least? He's not coming back to school after Christmas either..._

Lily's questioning didn't stop until a few days into November. There were many things left unsaid once they had left Dumbledore's office. The advice that was given by Dumbledore was to keep their heads low until Christmas break. After their meeting, Dumbledore had left the school right away to inform the Flamels of the prophecy, leaving a strand of worry in Severus's heart knowing that the Flamels's lives might be the first to come to an end.

The prophecy left more questions open than answered. Finding who it was about was the easy part, but the words related to the danger of meddling with time hadn't made sense to either Severus or Dumbledore. Not much was happening at school. The dementors had been keeping their distance, and Umbridge was spending more and more time at the Ministry than she was at school, which made everyone feel a little more comfortable.

The distinct scent of snow could be smelled in the air by Friday. It was Guy Fawkes day. A holiday that most pure-blood wizards had no understanding of, and Potter insistent on Lily explaining it to him again (as he had asked every single year before on this particular day). Since Umbridge was absent from the castle, some third-year students had taken the liberty of building a large bonfire (to Hagrid's delight) near his hut.

By the time the sun had started to set the bonfire had grown so big, more than three quarters of all the students present were able to warm themselves up. Elf-made snacks were magically pulled out of the pockets of Hufflepuff students. Guitars and other instruments appeared out of nowhere and several spells were cast into the air so that the first snowflakes of the season would be blown off course in order to keep the fire going.

'How are you feeling, Sev?' asked Lily out of the blue as she was roasting marshmallows on a stick by the fire.

Severus shrugged. 'I feel like I'm wasting my time here,' he said he as he took a marshmallow from the stick she offered. 'I've never wanted it to be my birthday as much as I want it to be now.'

'Quite understandable,' said Lily. 'Fortunately, Christmas break is just around the corner. We'll both be seventeen before we know it. Or _forty_.' She let out an involuntary snicker, and Severus couldn't help but laugh a little either. 'If it makes you feel any better,' he said, 'I don't feel a day older than thirty-nine.'

'What are you two snickering about?' said Frank as he sat down and stole a marshmallow from Lily's stick.

'Just a little inside joke we have,' said Lily as she whacked Frank's fingers with her stick in order to punish him. 'Doesn't it look beautiful out here tonight? It looks like we're sitting in a snow globe.'

'It does look a bit like that,' said Frank as he looked at the snow falling around the bonfire. 'This is so much better than hallowe'en. I think we ought to just trade it in for Guy Fawkes day permanently.'

Something silver was shifting between the trees of the Forbidden Forest. 'Any idea what that could be, Hagrid?' asked Severus as he noticed Hagrid looking in the same direction. 'It didn't strike me as a unicorn.'

'Me neither,' said Hagrid, his eyes still focused on the forest. 'There were dementors out there not te long ago.'

'Want to go take a closer look?' Severus asked.

Hagrid nodded. 'Get yer wand out, just in case.'

Severus gave Lily a swift kiss on her cheek and dashed off after Hagrid's giant footsteps, who held his pink umbrella held up high against the windy snowfall.

'D'you think it was a Patronus by any chance, Sev'rus?' asked Hagrid as he walked around suspiciously between the trees.

'Lumos,' mumbled Severus, and held his wand up high. 'No sign of any dementors here. It must've been a Patronus, but that doesn't explain why…'

After a minute or two they had stumbled upon the wiggentree. The last time Severus had been here the Dark Lord had been leaning up against it, protecting himself from the curses that were flying around them.

'What was that?' Hagrid suddenly cried out. 'I thought I heard something.'

Quickly, Severus and Hagrid hid themselves behind the wiggentree. ' _You've done me a great service,'_ said a cold voice in the distance. 'It's the Dark Lord,' whispered Severus. 'We better stay out of sight. _Knox_.'

' _I'm positive those were all the Thestrals, and_ _I learnt everything I needed to learn,'_ a shaky voice replied. _'There's nothing left for me out here at Hogwarts.'_

' _Then let us return to Grimmauld Place, shall we?'_ the Dark Lord replied in a patronising manner. _'There's no need for you to pass your O.W.L.'s. You can continue your education with me from this point on.'_

Severus was ready to jump from behind the wiggentree and curse both Regulus and the Dark Lord into oblivion, but Hagrid stopped him by taking a hold of his collar. 'We'll take it te Dumbledore once they're gone,' Hagrid whispered.

With a soft "pop", Regulus and the Dark Lord had disapparated from the scene. 'Expecto Patronus,' Severus mumbled as he and Hagrid stepped away from behind the wiggentree. The silver doe erupted from the tip of his wand and quickly dashed off to the canopy Regulus and the Dark Lord had been standing.

'No,' whimpered Hagrid as they approached the scene, and slumped down to his knees. 'No, it cannae be…'

The doe had run its way up to where Lilith was standing, hiding among the trees. Their noses touched as Lilith's head bowed down to the ground. The white light the doe emitted created an earie scene of the place. Dozens of thestrals were strewn dead on the ground. Rivers of dark blood caused the soil to grow damp, and their tails had been cut off by a blunt object.

Lilith started crying silver tears. Her entire herd had been massacred in the most gruesome manner, and the Dark Lord had managed to get his hands on the one thing he had wanted all along.

…

The news that the Thestrals had been massacred had spread like wildfire throughout the castle the next day. The Young Order had come together in the Room of Requirement right after breakfast. Most of the group had shed some tears over the loss of the magnificent creatures, but all had fallen into nothing when Severus was forced to break the ice and proclaim that it had been Regulus who was responsible for the death of all these creatures. To make manners worse, he also had to tell that the Dark Lord had been present and had taken Regulus away. Regulus appeared to have made his choice, and there was nothing that could be done about it anymore.

It had been heart wrenching to see Hagrid lose it over the death of the thestrals, but watching Sirius lose his shit over losing his little brother reminded Severus a little much of himself the day he found out Lily had died.

'FUCK IT ALL!' yelled Sirius as he threw another object at the wall, and watched it scatter into a million pieces. 'FUCK EVERYTHING! ALL THE HARD WORK! ALL THE EFFORD HAS BEEN FOR NAUGHT!'

The group looked at Sirius from a distance, all at loss for words. 'I WAS SO SURE!' Sirius continued as he set a pile of books on fire. 'SO SURE THAT I HAD FINALLY WON HIM OVER! WHY! WHY REGGIE! I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I DON'T—'

It appeared Potter had had enough of Sirius's fit, and decided to kick him in the back of his knees to prevent him from breaking any more objects. Potter slumped down beside him and wrapped his arms tightly around Sirius's middle. 'I got you, brother,' said Potter. 'I got you.'

Sirius's body started to shake uncontrollably, and tears started streaming down his face. 'I lost him,' Sirius whimpered. 'I was so sure I finally had him back into my life, and now I lost him.'

The rest of the group followed suit and wrapped their arms around Sirius. Mary, too, had started to cry uncontrollably. 'I'm so sorry, Sirius,' she cried. 'I tried my best. I really did.'

…

Severus and Lily had taken refugee inside their potion's lab that evening. It was a full moon tonight. Lily had asked Remus what his plans were regarding that, but Remus answered that it would be best if it were just the four Marauders together in the Shrieking Shack for now. Lily had agreed that it would be in Sirius's best interest if he were with his direct group of friends for the night, and left it at that.

'I'm going to help Hagrid bury the Thestrals at sunrise,' said Severus while plucking softly on the strings of his bass. Neither him nor Lily were in the mood to brew any potions. The death of the Thestrals and the disappearance of Regulus weighed too heavily on their minds. 'After that I'm going to pay Dumbledore a visit.'

'Is it okay if I come with you?' asked Lily as she absentmindedly plucked away on the strings of her guitar. 'To visit Dumbledore, I mean. As much as I'd love to help you bury the Thestrals, it's a little hard for me to do when I can't see them.'

Severus nodded in agreement. 'Feel free to join me,' he said. 'Dumbledore might be able to explain to you why the Dark Lord was after the Thestrals.'

'You know why he was after the Thestrals?' Lily asked.

'Like unicorn hairs,' said Severus, 'it is believed that thestral hairs can be used for wand cores. It's very rare, though. It makes for very powerful wands, but there are very few wizards who can wield them.'

'So You-Know-Who wants to create new, more powerful wands for his followers, if I understand correctly,' said Lily.

'That is correct,' said Severus. 'But as I said, it's easier to explain with Dumbledore around.'

They both continued to play on their instruments, their minds wandering off to different places. 'Were there any other Thestrals, aside from Lilith, that survived?' Lily asked out of the blue after a while.

'Not that I know off,' said Severus, and looked up in order to think. 'Coming to think of it, it is rather odd that only Lilith had been spared.'

'Makes you wonder if there's more to it,' said Lily. 'Regulus just turning like that…'

Severus was reminded of his first life. Regulus had turned against the Dark Lord at a later point in his life, and figured it was better left unspoken until they were both inside Dumbledore's office. 'You'll learn more about all of that tomorrow,' he said reassuringly.

'Something about your previous life?' Lily asked, looking curious.

'Something highly probable,' said Severus, his voice growing more serious. 'But do keep in mind, Lily, that many things have changed, and will continue to change, with every choice that I make during this life.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I know the whole "Technically Severus is much older than Lily" thing could spark some ethical debate about whether Severus is actually being a pervy dude or not. Having an older mind in a younger body complicates things a bit. I'd just like to remind everyone that this is fan fiction for a reason, and in this case, I'm not going to consider it to be a pervy thing.  
> A/N Full moon fell on a Saturday, the 6th of November in 1977.


	199. Tale of the Three Brothers

Severus had awoken at the crack of dawn. He quickly dressed himself and hurried is way towards Hagrid's hut with Paul following closely behind him.

It was a pitiful sight to behold. Hagrid had carried the thestrals out of the forest one by one and laid them out in neat rows in front of his hut. Lilith was standing between the trees on the edge on the Forbidden Forest. Her silver tears dropping down on the ground at the sight of it.

'I'm here,' said Severus, and saw that Hagrid wasn't looking any better than Lilith. 'What's the plan?'

'I want te burry 'em over there,' said Hagrid with a quiver in his voice, and pointed at a little hill on the grounds. 'Figured I'd bury 'em all together. Them being a tightknit herd an' all.'

Even with the use of magic, it had been a large and physically exhausting hole to dig. Even Paul had helped to dig through the earth with his paws, as if he had somehow understood the importance of the situation. The hill had transformed into a small crater by the time Hagrid started to lift the thestrals, one by one, into their grave. It had taken at least another hour before Hagrid and Severus had been able to cover the last thestrals with soil, leaving behind a bare, dug up looking hill.

Lilith had come out of the shadow of the forest and walked her way up to Severus when he was looking at the hill. 'It's moments like these that I wish you were able to speak,' said Severus as he petted her manes. Lilith nudged him in the shoulder with her nose, as if to say that she was going to be okay.

'I'm going to miss 'em,' said Hagrid while looking teary-eyed at the hill. 'Such good creatures, they are. Very misunderstood.'

Severus could argue that Hagrid's idea of misunderstood creatures fell into an entirely different category than his own, but he very much agreed with him regarding thestrals. 'Very misunderstood indeed,' he said as he absentmindedly petted a purring Paul in his arms. 'May their kind return to the forest one day, and live a life away from the victimhood of war.'

'May they indeed,' nodded Hagrid in agreement. 'May they indeed.'

…

After lunch, Lily and Severus had walked their way up to Dumbledore's office in silence. Lily had taken a hold of his hand, knowing that this day was only going to get worse the moment Dumbledore had poured his tea.

'Treacle Fudge,' Severus mumbled once they had reached the stone gargoyle. The gargoyle jumped out of sight and the staircase started to spiral its way upwards. 'After you, Lily.'

Lily was about to knock on the door to the office when she was stopped dead in her tracks. 'There's someone else with him,' she whispered. She placed her ear against the door, trying to hear who it may be Dumbledore was speaking to.

'I could recognise that pitchy voice from a mile away,' Lily gritted through her teeth, looking disgusted. 'Can't hear what they're talking about, though.'

'Just knock,' said Severus with a sigh. 'There's nothing you can do to mentally prepare yourself for dealing with her.'

With a nod and a new determined look on her face, Lily took a hold of the doorknocker and knocked thrice. 'Please, do come in!' said Dumbledore from the other side, perhaps a little too joyfully.

'Hello, headmaster,' said Lily happily as she swung open the door. 'And hello _, professor_ Umbridge.'

' _Hem, hem_ ,' Umbridge coughed, 'I am still in meeting with Headmaster Dumbl—'

'— and you are more than welcome to join us,' said Dumbledore as he quickly conjured two more chairs in front of his desk. 'Miss Evans, mister Snape, please do sit down. Tea?'

'I'd love some tea,' said Severus, ignoring the poisonous glares from Umbridge entirely, and sat down right beside her.

'Headmaster,' Umbridge sputtered in disbelief. 'These are very serious manners we are discussing here. Surely these students can wait a little longer.'

'I'm afraid not,' said Dumbledore calmly and handed Severus and Lily their own cup of tea, who gladly took their cups from his hands. 'But I do appreciate your input, Dolores,' he continued. 'Now that the thestrals are all gone, replacing them with aethonian horses may indeed be our best option to pull the Hogwarts carriages.'

Severus felt a little sick to his stomach after Dumbledore's words, and Lily didn't seem to be any better off. Out of all the things Umbridge could have discussed with Dumbledore, like the fact that a student had run off with the Dark Lord, for example, didn't even seem to be her main concern. 'If you could excuse us, professor Umbridge,' he said with a little too much venom to his voice. 'I have some more important things to discuss with the headmaster, if you will.'

Umbridge's mouth fell open and looked at Dumbledore as if she was expecting back-up on Severus's inappropriate behaviour, but no support came. 'I suggest we continue this conversation later today, Dolores,' said Dumbledore calmly.

'Have it your way, Albus,' said Umbridge angrily. She stood up, balled her hands into fists, and stormed out of the room as quickly as her short legs were able to carry her, slamming the door behind her in the process.

'A particularly difficult woman, that one,' said Dumbledore while shaking his head. 'Miss Evans, mister Snape, how are you two doing?'

'I'm still getting used to the whole idea of Severus having lived another life,' said Lily as she looked up at Severus. 'It's still hard to wrap my mind around, and probably will be for a long time to come. But I am doing alright for as far as that's possible, considering the circumstances.'

Severus took a hold of her hand and squeezed in a reassuring manner. 'Everything will be clear with time,' he said, and turned to Dumbledore.

'It's such a shame,' said Dumbledore, his eyes growing cold. 'Those poor, beautiful thestrals. Killed in cold blood merely for the hairs of their tails.'

'It was Regulus,' said Severus bitterly. 'I don't recall them ever being killed during my first life, and I certainly don't recall it being Regulus who had done it. So many things are changing…'

'Hagrid has already informed me on what the two of you had encountered in the forbidden forest,' said Dumbledore. 'There's very little I can do regarding mister Black and the choice that he made in that very moment.' From the insides of his robes he pulled out his wand and placed it in front of him on the desk. 'Have you informed miss Evans on this matter?'

'Sev's told me about the use of thestral hairs,' said Lily. 'Do you mind if I take a closer look, headmaster?'

Dumbledore nodded, and handed his wand over to Lily. 'Quite a peculiar wand,' said Lily as she twirled the wand around in her hand. 'I can almost feel its power radiating though my hand.'

'It is the only known wand in existence where its core is that of a thestral hair,' said Dumbledore.' 'Thestrals have been slaughtered throughout history for their magical properties. Wands have been made with thestral hairs before, but they never worked. Either the maker got cursed before the wand was finished, or they backfired during a battle and both wand and wielder got destroyed in the process. Never, once, has such a wand made through existence without become a folklore's tale, with the exemption of mine.'

'How is that possible?' asked Lily curiously. 'And would that mean that the thestrals have been slaughtered in vain?'

'They have indeed been slaughtered in vain,' said Dumbledore. 'Voldemort's arrogance causes him to underestimate his own strength from time to time.' From behind him, he picked a book from the shelves titled "Tales of Beedle the Bard" and placed it in front of them to see. 'Are you familiar with these stories, miss Evans?'

'I am,' said Lily, to Severus's surprise. 'Alice lent me her copy when we met in our first year after she learnt I was Muggle-born. She told me that if I were to become a proper witch, I should at least acquaint myself with the famous mister Bard. She didn't want me to feel left out.'

A smile had appeared on Lily's lips, and Dumbledore couldn't help but mimic her. 'You have surrounded yourself with beautiful friends, miss Evans,' he said. 'It is therefore safe for me to assume you are familiar with the tale of the three brothers?'

'I am,' said Lily, and handed the wand back to Dumbledore. 'What about it?'

From the inside of his drawer, Dumbledore pulled out the diary and the broken pieces of the ring. 'This ring,' he said as he held up the pieces, 'is what Severus and I retrieved this past summer.'

'The day he came back all covered in cuts and bruises, you mean?' said Lily, looking sombre. 'There's more to the story, isn't there?'

'That ring belonged to the Dark Lord,' said Severus. 'A stolen heirloom, filled with dark magic. We managed to destroy it by wielding Gryffindor's sword.'

'What about the stone?' asked lily as she eyed the ring with suspicion. 'It doesn't appear the be broken.'

Dumbledore picked up the stone from the scattered pieces and handed it over to Lily. 'It's not cursed,' he said reassuringly. 'Feel free to take a closer look.'

'It's marked,' she said as she held up the stone in the light of a floating candle. 'Is it supposed to mean anything?'

Dumbledore opened his copy of Beedle the Bard and pointed at his name that had been scribbled on the bottom of the page. The "A" in Albus had been changed into the same mark that appeared on the ring. 'The symbol signifies the Tale of the Three Brothers,' he said. 'The stripe in the middle symbolises the wand of the first brother, the very same wand that now belongs to me. The circle around it is the pebble from the river that belonged to the second brother, the same pebble you are currently holding in your hands, miss Evans.'

'woah,' said Lily, and carefully handed the stone back to Dumbledore. 'Then what about the triangle?'

'Supposedly it is a piece of the cloak that had once belonged to Death itself,' said Dumbledore. 'All three of these Deathly Hallows together, as they are called, make one Master of Death.'

'It's still Grindelwald's mark,' said Severus darkly. 'The symbol has been used and abused till it no longer carried the significance it once had. Not unlike the swastika during the war of your parents, Lily.'

Lily shook her head in disbelief. 'It's unfortunate that something so beautiful can be twisted until something evil,' she said. 'Do you have any idea where this supposed cloak could be, headmaster?'

'I have my theories,' said Dumbledore. Severus noticed the familiar twinkle from his eye had started to fade, as if he had thrown his occlumency shields up in self-defence. 'Unfortunately, none of those theories can be proven unless I were to speak with Grindelwald again.'

'Is there a way that you could, headmaster?' asked Lily carefully.

Dumbledore's lips curled into a pitiful smile. 'There are many ways in which I could, miss Evans,' he said. 'And none that would be deemed wise for me to do.'

Dumbledore turned his gaze to Severus, and a voice started echoing through his head. _'The prophecy speaks about me, or Grindelwald, and there is only one way to find out.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The name for aethonian horses probably derived from Aethon, one of the horses which pulled the chariot of Helios, the Titan of the Sun, in Greek myth. I figured they'd made the best candidate to be the new carriage pullers now that the thestrals are gone.


	200. Remus's Last Day at School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N To celebrate 200 chapters, here's a link to Alan Rickman reciting Shakespeare's Sonnet 130 on YT: /watch?v=06qrlwQNdpo

Although the disappearance of Regulus Black had not gone unnoticed by some, the fact that the Dark Lord had been involved one way or another, to Severus's relief, had.

November had passed in the blink of an eye, and the grounds of Hogwarts had been covered in a thick layer of snow by the time December had arrived. Severus and Lily had kept themselves occupied with the illegal sale of their potions and naughty trips to the Prefect's Bathroom. Lily didn't have a lot of questions left for Severus regarding his first life, which suited him just fine. He had managed to avoid mentioning anything related to Potter and the child they had together, figuring it would be in both their best interested if she didn't know about her son's existence at all.

'Leo, stop that!' Lily snapped. Leo had been pecking at Paul's tail, causing Paul to hiss in annoyance and lash out with his claws. Leo looked up at Lily with a pair of innocent eyes and hopped into the nape of Severus's neck in search of protection. 'I'm not saving you out of this one,' Severus whispered to the owl, but scratched Leo's feathers with a finger nonetheless. 'I suppose we're all a bit bored.'

Lily let out a groan in frustration. 'So bored,' she said while holding her hand against her forehead for dramatic effect, and set down beside Severus on the floor of their secret potions lab. 'Please, tell me a funny story about your time as a teacher here. I could do with a laugh.'

'How about we go to the Prefect's Bathroom again,' said Severus with a grin. 'I'll whisper all the dirty details in your ear while you sit on top of me.'

'Tempting as that is,' said Lily as she mimicked Severus's grin, 'I'm positive it's occupied by Frank and Alice right now. Alice isn't very secretive about when and where she does it.'

Lily mentioning Frank and Alice got Severus's brain to rattle, and out fell a memory on their klutz of a son, Neville. 'There was this Gryffindor boy,' he said, 'who was probably the worst student a potion's master could've wished for.'

'Worse than Peter?' asked Lily with a raised eyebrow.

'Worse,' Severus confirmed. 'I lost so many cauldrons due to this boy's antics. So many cauldrons…'

'What was his name?'

'I can't say,' said Severus. 'I think some things are better off to be kept secret.'

'He's the kid of someone that we know, isn't he?'

Severus nodded. 'Hence why I think it's better if I didn't mention his name. Things will be different this time around, and I don't want to disappoint you.'

'I understand,' said Lily. 'You don't need to tell me.'

The more Severus thought of it, the more he wandered why he had even bothered to bring it up. 'He was afraid of me,' he said with a hint of bitterness.

'Were you really that terrible, Sev?' asked Lily, looking it him with a hint of pity.

'I hated myself and I took it out on everyone else,' he said, now looking up at the ceiling. 'We had yet another Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher that year, who covered the subject of boggarts. That boy's boggart had transformed into me.'

'I was hoping for a sillier story,' said Lily, and pulled him into a hug in reassurance. 'Remember how you thought your boggart during Frank's lesson had turned into your father, but it was really you when you were older?'

'Yes,' said Severus darkly. 'That is exactly what I looked like when I was a teacher here.'

Lily smiled. 'And look at you now,' she said with a pat on his shoulder. 'Much healthier and happier. You are a prime example of what a big impact a little love can have on a person's wellbeing.'

'Thank you,' mumbled Severus, and rested his head against her shoulder, causing Leo to be squished in the process. Leo let out a loud hoot in frustration, but Severus wouldn't budge. 'You deserve it, little friend.'

…

All four Marauders looked like they hadn't slept after partying all night during breakfast. Peter confirmed that they had spent yet another night at the Shrieking Shack during Remus's transformation, and had indeed partied till dawn.

'Severus, please hand me that platter of eggs and bacon,' said a particularly shabby looking Remus. Remus was about to dig into his plate when a delivery owl swooped in and dropped the morning edition of the Daily Prophet on his head. 'Bloody hell,' Remus snapped as bits of bacon flew out of his mouth, and tossed the newspaper aside.

'I think you may want to read it,' said Frank as he grabbed the paper, and looked around the Great Hall. 'Something serious is going on.'

Severus noticed that students were hurrying to see what was written on the front page and bent over the paper as soon as Frank had spread the paper out. Severus glanced at the teacher's platform, but there was no sight of Umbridge nor Dumbledore, undoubtedly already on their way to London. The frontpage was covered with a picture of a teary-eyed Minister Minchum, delivering a speech to an invisible crowd behind the camera.

**_THE MINISTRY UNDER ATTACK!_ **

_A pack of werewolves had entered the Ministry of Magic in the middle of the night, causing terror and destruction in their path. Several Ministry officials have been murdered in cold blood, while others are still in critical condition at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries._

_It is still unclear under what motives the werewolves were moved to—'_

'WHERE IS LUPIN?' shouted someone from across the Great hall.

'SEE? TOLD YOU ALL THESE BLOODY WEREWOLVES SHOULN'T BE AT SCHOOL!' Shouted Avery while pointing at the Gryffindor table.

'HAS ANYONE SEEN WHERE HE WENT TO LAST NIGHT?' shouted someone else from the end of the Ravenclaw table.

Lily had tapped Severus on the shoulder. 'Sev,' she whispered under her breath. 'We need to get Remus out of here, now.'

Remus had turned whiter than a ghost and looked as if he was about to faint. The eyes of everyone present in the Great Hall were suddenly fixed on him, including the ones from the Young Order.

'Where's your cloak, Potter?' Severus whispered.

'Dumbledore still has it,' Potter groaned. He pulled out a large piece of parchment from his books that Severus recognised as their map of Hogwarts. 'Moony, we're going to lead you to the statue of the One-Eyed witch as quickly as we humanly can. Padfoot, go get your motorbike at Hagrid's and meet us at Honeydukes. Wormtail and Mary, go grab all of Remus's belongings from the Gryffindor tower and bring everything to the statue. Peter knows how to open the secret passage. Everyone else surround Remus to prevent him from getting harmed, so wands out. I'll lead,' he said while holding up the map, 'and make sure no-one is following us. No more questions up at this point. Action.'

Before Remus was able to say anything, Potter's plan was immediately brought into action. Frank and Severus pulled Remus up by his arms and held up their wands with their free hand. Evan, Emma and Alice took the position behind them, while Lily took her position right beside Potter, wand at ready in case anyone started throwing hexes in Remus's way.

While Sirius, Peter and Mary dashed off in different directions, the rest of the group hasted their way up to the third floor. By the distant sound of the many footsteps behind them, it was clear some students had started running after them. Whether they wanted to hurt Remus or simply wanted answers, was unknown.

By the time they had reached the third floor, the voice of Professor McGonagall had started to echo through the castle's walls. _'All students must remain inside the Great Hall! I repeat, all students must remain inside the Great hall!_ ' The staircase that had led them to the third floor started to move as soon as everyone had reached the floor, and the door to the third floor flung itself open, revealing the hallway where the statue of the One-Eyed witch stood. The door closed and locked itself once the whole group was inside, and Severus knew that McGonagall had to be behind all this. Praising the Professor's swift thinking in his mind, he ran up to the statue.

'Dissendium,' mumbled Potter as he tapped the witch's hump with his wand. The hump of the witch's statue opened and revealed a short slide. 'Everyone, get in, quickly.'

Severus and Frank pushed Remus through the slide first, and one by one everyone followed them down to what lead to an underground passage. ´Can you stand, Remus?' asked Frank as they stood still to catch their breath.

'I'll try,' whimpered Remus under his breath. Slowly, Frank and Severus released Remus from their grip and let hem lean against the cold stone wall.

'I don't understand what's going to happen,' Remus cried. 'I don't understand—'

'—I'll explain everything once we get to Honeydukes, Moony,' said Potter. 'I got a plan for you.'

As soon as everyone had caught their breath, Peter and Mary had arrived with all of Remus's belongings in their arms. 'We better get going,' said Peter. 'The entire castle is in uproar.'

With everyone's wands held up to light the way, they ran down the tunnel for what felt like an eternity. Eventually Potter came to a halt and pointed at a wooden hatch above their head. 'This leads us to the backside of Honeydukes,' he said. 'Mister Flume knows we come through here from time to time.'

Potter pushed the hatch open and pulled himself up. 'Hello mister Flume,' he said from above. 'I'll explain myself later. We're in a bit of a hurry now.'

The rest of the group hoisted themselves up and entered the backroom of Honeydukes. By the sound of the roaring engine up front Sirius had already arrived on his motorbike. Quickly the whole group made their way to the front of the shop and led Remus through the door.

With a simple reducio charm, Remus's belongings were shrunk till they fitted inside his pockets. 'Padfoot,' said Potter as he ushered Remus on the back of the motorbike, 'take Remus to the Halfway House in London. I will inform his parents through a letter of his whereabouts. I shall also inform Dumbledore of everything that has happened once he returns to Hogwarts. Moony, I know mister Mulpeper has offered you a job there before, and I'm positive he'll give it to you as soon as you sent foot on the threshold. Contact mister Belby as soon as you have arrived. Remember not to use any magic until your birthday. If any use of magic is needed, Padfoot can do it for you.'

'I'll inform you of our whereabouts as quickly as possible,' said Sirius. 'We better get going.'

Without a formal goodbye, Sirius sped off with Remus, leaving behind a worn-out group of friends and a very confused looking mister Flume in front of Honeydukes.

…

The return to the castle had been a quiet one. Professor McGonagall had managed to subdue the chaos, and all students had been ordered to return to their dormitories. Potter had explained everything to her, figuring that she was the most reliable of all the teachers aside from Dumbledore himself.

The group had taken the opportunity to talk about what had happened inside the Room of Requirement. Peter and Potter had turned rather teary-eyed, knowing that Remus was most likely never to return to Hogwarts, and chances were, neither was Sirius.

It was in this very moment, the group had decided to take the train back to London when Christmas came, never to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N full moon fell on the 6th of December in 1976.  
> A/N Sirius's birthday is on the 3d of November (1959), Remus's birthday is on the 10th of March (1960)


	201. The Point of no Return

A darkness had cast itself in and around Hogwarts. Depression and sorrow lingered in the air, and it wasn't just the dementors that caused it. A division, extending beyond the division of the four houses, was ruling between its walls. A division that had led people to choose between one side or the other. The side where werewolves deserved protection and a place among society, and the other side where werewolves held no rights nor place within the wizarding world. To be against werewolves wasn't entirely groundless, as it was made clear that some werewolves had made their choice once they had attacked the Ministry. Some would never turn away from the Dark Lord's side, with or without the Wolfsbane Potion.

Yet another decree had been announced as soon as Dumbledore and Umbridge had returned to Hogwarts. This time, werewolves, student or teacher alike, were no longer permitted to teach and be taught at Hogwarts, meaning it was only for the better that Remus had fled to London.

Remus and Sirius had sent a letter announcing their safe arrival and that they both had been offered a job by mister Mulpeper behind the bar, meaning Sirius had indeed decided not to return to Hogwarts. They had requested the Young Order to visit them at the Halfway House after new year, as plans for any preparations needed to be made.

It had pained Dumbledore in his heart to learn of the ways that Remus had had to leave the castle, and had taken the responsibility to speak with Lyall and Hope on a personal level on the potential course and outcome of Remus's life.  
When Severus visited him in his office, he learned that Dumbledore had not only gone to the Ministry to learn about the werewolf situation, but also if any knowledge had been won on the disappearance of Newt Scamander. A feeling of guilt washed over him as he learned that there was little to none known about Scamander's whereabouts. He had been so caught up with Lily, the Young Order, Remus, the Prophecy and everything else in between, he had nearly forgotten that Scamander was still out there somewhere, most likely held captive by the hands of Death Eaters. The egg of the Hebridean Black dragon in the hands of someone unknown with ill intent. He had made it clear to Dumbledore that all the remaining members of the Young Order would not return to Hogwarts after Christmas. Most of them were seventeen or nearly seventeen by now, and the necessity to prepare themselves for the war that was to come far outweighed the need to finish their N.E.W.T.s. Dumbledore, with great sadness, had understood Severus and the rest of the Young Order more than anything else when it came to making sacrifices for a greater cause.

There was much left to discuss between Dumbledore and Severus, but all would have to wait until the anchor of Hogwarts could no longer weigh them down.

…

'We're really not coming back to Hogwarts after Christmas, are we?' said Lily. They were sitting at the top of the Astronomy Tower, late at night, surrounded by little flames Lily had conjured to warm and shelter them from the harsh winter wind. It was the last night before they took the train back to London.

Considering the history that Severus shared with Hogwarts, turning his back on the school wasn't weighing nearly as heavy on him as it was weighing on Lily, and understandably so. 'I highly doubt we will, if not ever,' he said.

A faint smile appeared on Lily's lips. 'I'm going to miss it. I mean, just—look,' she said with a wave of her arm, 'it's everything I imagined it to be, and more. You told me all about this castle since we were nine, and not a single word had been a lie.'

Coming to think of it, maybe leaving Hogwarts for good was weighing a little heavy on his heart. 'It's the only place I considered home for so long,' said Severus as he started drawing in the memories. 'I have another home now, with you, but Hogwarts was here first.'

'I remember the first time we came here like it was yesterday,' said Lily, and her faint smile had grown into a wide grin. 'Taking the boat across the lake with Hagrid…I have shed some tears at the sight of all those lights coming from the castle. Everything you had told me about magic suddenly came together, like pieces of a puzzle falling into place.'

'I remember being annoyed that you didn't get sorted into Slytherin,' said Severus with a snort. 'I was disappointed about that for a very long time. I told myself that it was better if you were near me so that I could explain to you all the things that you wouldn't understand; but I know better now. I wanted you near me so that I wouldn't be alone.'

Lily leaned her head against his shoulder. 'Have you ever felt alone, Sev?' she asked in a serious manner.

'I believed I was alone all the way up to the point where I made it true,' said Severus. 'There's a lot of power in suggestion.'

'There sure is,' said Lily as she wrapped her arms around him. 'I was wondering about something?'

'And what is it you are wondering about?'

'The prophecy,' said Lily. 'Do you think the rest of the Young Order should know about it?'

Severus gave it a long thought. He had thought about it before, and figured that right now it was not the time to expose anything regarding about the prophecy just yet. Questions were bound to be raised. _The four great wizards who defied time…_ it spoke of Nicholas Flamel, who had invented the Philosopher's Stone, but to most it was more a myth than a reality. No one really knew about the stone's existence with the exception of a few. The Dark Lord had managed to defy death one way or another, but the way in which he had achieved his immortality was still unknown. Then there was Dumbledore – and Grindelwald. Dumbledore was in possession of two of the Deathly Hallows, but he had never been after them the way that Grindelwald had. Up at this point it was still unknown which of the two wizards the prophecy spoke of…and then there was himself. Defying death by making the choice to return to life. _Three must falter to realign before darkness comes – souls scattered across time._ Only one could remain standing in the end. Such was his inevitable faith.

'When the time is right,' he answered. 'Four great wizards who defied time. It's going to be quite the challenge to inform anyone on the how and why of it all.'

Lily looked up at him. 'Perhaps Dumbledore could do it for you,' she said.

'That would make it easier,' said Severus, 'but I believe that this is something that I must do when that moment arrives. Until then, I prefer not to focus too much on it.'

'That I can understand,' said Lily with a sigh, and absentmindedly played with the little flames that were dancing around her. 'What do you think is going to happen after the new year?'

'Wait around until we're both seventeen, I suppose,' said Severus with a shrug. 'There is very little we can do as long as we still have the trace on us.'

'And after that?'

Severus kissed the top of her head. 'Lily,' he said softly, 'you do understand that I have a very difficult task ahead of me?'

'I am aware,' said Lily. 'Not a day goes by where I don't look at you and wonder how it is that you're still standing tall, knowing what is about to come.'

'I know that there will come a point where I have to meet with Grindelwald,' said Severus. 'I don't know how or what it is that I'll be looking for, but I do know that meeting Grindelwald is where it all starts.'

Lily released him from her embrace and sat down in front of him, looking him straight in the eye. 'I want to come with you,' she said, more as a statement than a question. 'When you go searching for Grindelwald. I want to be there when you find him, and I want to be there when we return home. I want to be there, every step of the way.'

…

'I figured you'd come back at some point this evening,' said Evan. He was sitting on a couch in the Slytherin common room accompanied by Emma, who was reading a book. 'Everything alright with you and Lily?'

'We're fine,' said Severus as he sat down in the chair beside them. 'We walked around the castle for a while. Ended up on top of the Astronomy Tower, and talked about everything that this place has given us. It's strange, not knowing if we will ever see this castle again.'

Emma had put down her book and nodded in understanding. 'We walked around the castle as well,' she said. 'Hogwarts was the first place where I got to feel normal, like Lily. Her and I have talked about being Muggle-born a lot lately.'

'Emma,' said Severus, growing curious about something. 'How much do your parents know about the war?'

'None,' said Emma matter-of-factly. 'And I prefer to keep it that way. Evan suggested I should talk to Dumbledore about that matter, so I did. After new years he is coming to visit us, and he's going to send my parents away for a while; to Australia or New Zealand, preferably. I haven't quite decided where I want to go and find them once the war is over, if it ever does.'

Severus could tell that Emma was growing emotional at the thought of it. Tears had started to well up in her eyes as she leaned against Evan, finding comfort in his embrace. 'I better get going,' he said with a nod in Evan's direction. 'I'll see you both tomorrow.'

Severus found Paul curled up on his pillow as he entered the Slytherin dormitory. His belongings were scattered all over the place. He started to toss out everything that he deemed unnecessary. Ink bottles. Worn out quills. Old newspapers that contained all the reports about him and Remus. Amongst all his rubbish, he found the medal he had received when he became a member of the Order of Merlin, discarded as if it were nothing.

He thought back on the time had nearly received the medal in his first life. He had captured Sirius, believing him to be a murderer and the reason for Lily's death. He hadn't cared much about not receiving the medal after Sirius's escape, for the same reasons he didn't really care for having it now. Unsure about what to do with it, he tossed it inside his trunk along with his school robes and schoolbooks. Lily still had his box with all the potions they had made over the past months, so he didn't have to worry about that. He found his bass guitar underneath the bed. Or actually, the school's bass guitar. He was going to have to leave it behind this time, knowing he will never get to play on it again. He opened the case and softly plucked at a few strings, but figured it was far too late in the evening to play on it properly one last time. Reluctantly, he closed the lid of the case and shoved it back underneath the bed, leaving it to the house-elves to take care of it.

He grabbed his two-way mirror from his bedside table and whispered into it, hoping that Lily would be able to hear him.

'Hi, Sev,' Lily whispered back. She was lying on her bed, looking beautiful. 'Can't sleep either, can you?'

'I just figured I will never get to play on my bass again,' he said sombrely. 'I just cleaned everything out. Books I'll never use again. Robes I'll never wear again. Those sorts of things.'

Lily smiled. 'It hurts to leave. But remember, Sev, that this is not this end.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N It was only an assumption that Severus was bitter about losing the opportunity of becoming a member of the Order of Merlin, and therefore ratted Remus out about being a werewolf. I really do wonder if he ratted Remus out simply out of spite, or because he already knew that the job Remus held was cursed and it was better watching him leave on his own accord then through some mysterious death.


	202. The Final Journey Home

Severus had found a letter in the pocket of his leather jacket when he had gotten dressed in his muggle clothes in the morning. No doubt Slughorn had put it there on Dumbledore's orders. He didn't need to open the letter to know what it was about, and figured it would be best to open it once he had a moment of privacy with Erwin.

The remaining members of the Young Order had gathered together at the Gryffindor table for breakfast. Not a lot of words were being exchanged. It was as if everyone was trying to take in everything that was Hogwarts in the silence of their own mind. Once the announcement was made that the carriages had arrived, everyone grabbed their belongings and slowly made their way to the grounds.

The carriages were now pulled by aethonan horses. For most students it was the first time that they were able to see any horses pulling the carriages, and groups were formed around the horses in order to pet them. Severus couldn't find Lilith among them, and wondered if he would ever get to see her again.

Taking the opportunity to use as much magic as possible before they arrived in London, the group had used an enlargement charm on one of the carriages so it could easily fit nine people. 'I wonder if any other students have chosen not to return to Hogwarts,' said Emma as she watched the castle growing smaller and smaller in the distance.

'I think it would be better if everyone did return to Hogwarts,' said Severus as he looked out of the window with her. 'It's still the safest place within the wizarding world.'

The group watched in silence as the snow-clad grounds of Hogwarts disappeared into a thick fog and didn't speak again until they had boarded the train. They had found an empty compartment at the very end of the train. The whistle was blown, and the train had started to drive away from Hogsmeade train station. Severus looked out of the window as the train started to speed up and saw something white moving along with the train amongst the trees. He leaned in a little closer to the window, wondering if his eyes had not betrayed him.

There, among the trees, was the silhouette of a white stag. The very same stag who had saved him when he was surrounded by dementors on top of the Tor in Dartmoor. The same stag he had believed to have been Lily's son.

…

Over a dozen games of exploding snap had been played. Several gallons of coffee had been consumed, and more pumpkin pasties had been eaten than a normal human should be able to stomach once they had reached King's Cross station. The group had shared their goodbyes and separated once they got off the train.

'Sev, they're here!' Lily called out after they searched for Erwin and Arnica amongst the crowd. Severus walked up to them and was immediately pulled into a tight embrace. 'You look taller,' said Arnica with a smile as she released him. 'Let's go home, shall we?'

Now that Arnica was aware about the upcoming war, it was the only thing that that was avidly discussed as they drove their way back to Cokeworth. How long had the war been going on. What the Order of the Phoenix's story was in all of this. What part they had been playing when they were visiting the Weasleys. The important people they've met…

The conversation had ended by the time they had reached the foggy skies of Cokeworth. On their route they passed Spinner's End. The curtains of Severus's old house were open, and in it he could see a new family sitting around a new kitchen table, together, eating dinner.

'Looks like a happy family,' said Lily as she took notice of Severus staring at his old house.

Severus turned his gaze away and smiled. 'As it should be.'

Petunia was already waiting by the door by the time they had reached their home and pulled Severus and Lily into a warm embrace. 'Hot chocolate is ready to be served,' she said as she happily ushered everyone into the living room. 'I've got so much to tell you about university, and about Oxford and Gwendolyn and—'

'—Yes, do tell us more about Gwendolyn,' said Lily with a grin. 'All we know is that she's a squib.'

'She's got a little brother at Hogwarts,' said Petunia. 'His name is Gilderoy, or something like that – if I remember correctly.'

' _Gilderoy? Gilderoy Lockhart_?' Lily squealed. 'Does her last name happen to be Lockhart?'

'Well, yes,' said Petunia, not quite understanding what had gotten into Lily. 'Do you know him?'

'Oh, Roy is something alright,' said Lily with a grin from ear to ear.

Petunia pulled out a polaroid picture from her wallet and handed it over for Severus and Lily to see. 'That's her,' she said, gleaming.

'Uncanny,' said Severus as he looked at the picture. From the piercing blue eyes to the honey blonde hair and the overconfident smile, Gwendolyn looked exactly like a feminine version of her younger brother. 'How come you're holding hands with her?'

Petunia's face had turned an alarming shade of red in a matter of seconds. 'How about I go get us that hot chocolate?' she sputtered as she yanked the picture out of Severus's hands, and quickly dashed off into the kitchen.

Lily craned her neck like an owl towards her parents. 'What's going on?' she whispered. 'Is Gwendolyn a friend or more than a friend?'

'She won't tell us,' said Arnica with a shrug. 'But she's coming over for Christmas – so who knows. Maybe we'll finally be able to learn a little more about this girl she's been spending so much time with.'

'I already like her better than Vernon,' said Lily. 'In fact, after Vernon, I probably would've considered swinging the other way.'

'I don't think that's how it works, Lily,' said Severus, but nodded along in agreement nonetheless.

'Oh, I know that,' Lily hissed. 'I'm just – surprised. In a good way, is all.'

Petunia took her time making the hot chocolate. Her red face had turned back to normal once she re-entered the living room and handed everyone a mug. 'I've missed this,' said Severus as he savoured the warm mug in his hands.

'I think I'd like to go out for a cigarette,' said Erwin sternly. 'Care to join me, Severus?'

Severus knew it wasn't a question. He put his leather jacket back on and followed Erwin out of the backdoor. From the inside of his pockets he pulled out the unopened letter. 'Dumbledore gave me this,' he said as he handed the letter to Erwin. 'I haven't read it yet, but I know it contains a time and a date in which I have to meet him again. I would prefer it if you came with me.'

'How come?' Erwin asked as he ripped open the seal.

'Because there are so things that I prefer to say in his presence,' said Severus as he took a sip of his hot chocolate. 'We're not going back to Hogwarts after Christmas, Lily and I.'

Erwin read the letter, containing nothing more than a date, time and location, and set the letter on fire with the use of his lighter. He then lit a cigarette, inhaled deep, and started to speak. 'You better have a very good explanation for what you just told me.'

'We formed a group called the Young Order during our fifth year,' said Severus as he lit a cigarette that Erwin handed to him. 'We all intend on joining Dumbledore's Order once we're seventeen. I'll be seventeen soon, and Lily will be shortly after. There are twelve of us – or eleven, actually. Sirius Black's little brother will not return – and for all the wrong reasons.'

Erwin looked through the window and saw Lily laughing about something with Petunia and Arnica. 'She's going to join the fight, isn't she?' he said with a hint of sadness. 'My own daughter – off to war.'

'We're going to have to play our part,' said Severus as he looked through the window with him. 'Whether we'd be returning to Hogwarts or not. It's coming, and we better be prepared.'

'Some days I wished she looked more like her mother,' said Erwin. 'Her mother knows how to support. How to keep everyone standing when things get rough – but instead, she's going to run headfirst into the fire, not knowing what the outcome will be. Just like me.'

'And you have every reason to be proud of that,' said Severus as he turned his gaze towards Erwin. 'I'll do everything I can to protect her.'

Erwin patted Severus on the shoulder. 'I have no doubt in my mind that you will. Want to know the date Dumbledore gave you?'

'Yes please,' said Severus as he flicked away his cigarette.

'Sunday the ninth of January at six o'clock in a place called the Halfway House.'

'Makes sense,' said Severus. 'Remus left Hogwarts early when the news came that the Ministry had been attacked by werewolves. He's currently working there for mister Mulpeper, along with Sirius who took him there.'

'That's the place they're brewing that Wolfsbane Potion, right?' Erwin asked.

'Yes,' Severus confirmed. 'And it's also the day I turn seventeen.'

'Do you want Lily to come along as well?'

Severus nodded. 'There are things that she'll need to know.'

Arnica gently tapped against the window. 'Your hot chocolate is getting cold, gentlemen. You better get back inside.'

'Guess we better head back,' said Erwin. 'I think there's something Petunia wanted to show you both.'

Curious about what Petunia would want him to see, Severus and Erwin went back inside and drank their now lukewarm drinks. 'There's something I want to show you and Lily,' said Petunia happily. 'Remember the day the Big Ben stopped working?'

Severus would've given anything to forget that particular day. It was the day he had visited his father in Wandsworth prison, only to find out he had taken his own life moments after they had returned to Cokeworth. 'I remember,' he said darkly. 'What about it?'

'Hold on,' said Petunia as she stood up. 'I'm going to get it.'

A moment later she returned from upstairs carrying a large oil painting in her arms. 'It's the mechanics of the Big Ben,' she said as she held up the painting for everyone to see. 'What do you think?'

'It's incredibly detailed, Tuney,' said Lily admirably.

'This is the part where the mechanics broke,' said Petunia as she pointed at a particularly large cog. 'Turns out, something got stuck in between, causing everything to blow up. They still haven't been able to fix it.'

'Just the fact that you got permission to go inside the Palace of Westminster just to paint that is a feat on its own,' said Lily. 'It looks amazing.'

'What's with the gold between the cogs?' asked Severus as he leaned in closer to see.

'Oh, I don't know,' said Petunia casually. 'Probably the thing that got stuck there – but I didn't get to take a closer look, unfortunately.'

Severus looked up at Petunia with suspicion, but decided not to elaborate. 'Are you going to sell the painting?' he asked.

'Someone at the Palace was interested in it,' said Petunia proudly. 'If they decide that they want it, it's going to be hanging in a room there.'

'I'm so proud,' said Lily as she jumped off from the couch and pulled her sister into a tight embrace. 'I am so, so proud of you sis.'

…

Severus found Paul and Leo curled up together on his pillow as he prepared himself to go to bed. He had just gotten comfortable and was about to switch off the lights as he heard a faint knocking on his door.

'Psst, Severus,' said Petunia from the other side. 'Do you mind if I come in for a sec?'

Severus stood up, tossed on a bathrobe and opened the door. 'What is it, Petunia?' he asked.

Petunia slipped through the door and closed it gently behind her. 'I haven't been entirely honest,' she whispered. 'I found something there at the Big Ben, and I wanted to give it to you in private.'

Before Severus was able to process what it was that Petunia was referring to, several little golden objects were shoved into his hands. 'I don't know what it is or what it does,' she said quickly, 'but I know that it's magical and that it's strong enough to have caused the destruction of the Big Ben. Perhaps you know what it is?'

Severus looked down at the broken pieces in his hands and felt a shiver run down his spine as soon as he realised what it was. 'How many people have you showed this to?' he asked carefully.

'No one,' said Petunia. 'Mum and dad sure wouldn't know what it is, and I somehow doubt Gwendolyn would either. I figured I'd wait until you came home – so, you do know what it is?'

'It's a time-turner,' said Severus as he fumbled around with the little broken hourglass. 'Thank you for giving me this, Petunia. I think it would be best if you really didn't tell anyone about this. The only time-turners I know about are all locked and stored away at the Ministry of Magic. I better give this to Dumbledore when I see him again.'

'Does it what I think it does?' Petunia asked as she eyed the broken pieces with suspicion.

'It's a very dangerous thing - to meddle with time,' said Severus darkly. 'It is exactly what you think it is.'

'I better head back downstairs before Lily gets suspicious,' said Petunia. 'I promise I won't tell. Goodnight, Severus.'

'Goodnight Petunia,' Severus mumbled absentmindedly as he closed the door behind her. Carefully he spread out the pieces on his desk and flipped them over one by one in search of any clues. " _I mark the hours, every one, Nor have I yet outrun the Sun. My use and value –_ the other parts of the engraving of the time-turner's outer circle had gotten too damaged to decipher. He flipped over the disk that held the hourglass in place and felt his heart sink to the floor. The symbol of the Deathly Hallows had been carved into it with what must've been a very crude object. Grindelwald's mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The first names of Gilderoy Lockhart's sisters are unknown. We do know that both his sisters are squibs. I picked Gwendolyn because it feels like a name that matches up with Gilderoy.
> 
> A/N Fiona Shaw, the actress who portrayed Petunia Dursley in the movies, is openly gay and married to a woman.


	203. On My Mother's Grave

Severus had shoved the pieces of the time-turner into an envelope and hid it from sight in the bottom drawer of his desk. Any thought on it would have to wait until he saw Dumbledore again, and for now it was best to pretend it didn't exist.

The days that led up to Christmas went by in a blur. Severus spent most of his days keeping himself occupied by tinkering away at his motorbike and making lists on all the things he wanted to magically enhance once he had come of age. He even considered writing Sirius a letter, knowing he had modified parts of his motorbike before when he had it shipped over to Hogwarts, but decided against it as he didn't want to risk exposing Sirius and Remus's hide-out if, by some chance, his mail got intercepted.

On Christmas morning, Erwin had joined Severus outside to take a closer look at all the modifications he had made. 'Going somewhere?' Erwin asked as he checked the new luggage racks Severus had installed. 'You appear to be prepping for something.'

'Don't know when I'll need it,' said Severus as he looked at his finished project with pride. 'Can't wait to modify it with magic, though.'

'Still want to make it fly?' asked Erwin, and glanced over at his own motorbike in wishful thinking.

Severus shook his head. 'No, but I do want to make it winterproof somehow. I need to figure out a way for this thing to become as safe as possible on the slippery roads. Could you pass me those spanners? I think I need to tighten those bolts a little bit more…'

'What's that on your hand?' Erwin asked as he handed Severus the spanner he had pointed at. Without warning, he had taken a hold of Severus's hand to take a closer look. _'I must…not tell…lies,'_ he read as he traced the faint outlining of the scar with a finger. 'What the hell is this Severus?'

'Nothing,' said Severus as he pulled his hand back. 'A little gift from Professor Umbridge after having served detention with her.'

'Nothing?' Erwin muttered in utter disbelief. ' _Nothing?_ Severus, have you showed this to Dumbledore?'

'I didn't want to bother him,' said Severus, growing annoyed. 'Look – there is nothing, and I mean _nothing_ , that Dumbledore can do about the presence of Umbridge for as long as the Ministry interferes actively into the affairs of Hogwarts.'

'But, but _how_ –'

'—with the use of a very sharp quill, Erwin,' said Severus as he tightened the bolts around the luggage racks. 'Please, do me a favour, and don't read too much into it.'

'And what exactly is it, that you lied about?'

'Nothing, really,' said Severus with a shrug. 'Potter and I were trying to cover up for Remus and paid the price for doing so.'

Erwin let out a sigh and handed Severus a cigarette. 'I don't like how nonchalantly you're treating this situation,' he said as he lit a cigarette for himself. 'But I suppose there's nothing that can be done about it now.'

'At least now I have a constant reminder to always be truthful,' said Severus with a grin.

Erwin and Severus had nearly finished their cigarette when Lily came bouncing through the backdoor. 'Gwendolyn's here!' she said happily, and an evil grin betrayed that there was more to it. 'Come inside. You should see Petunia's face at the sight of her.'

…

As the Severus and the three girls got to work decorating the Christmas tree, Arnica had performed her own kind of magic in the kitchen. The table was filled with delicious dishes that even Molly Weasley could takes notes on. Gwendolyn turned out not only to look like her little brother, but even acted like her little brother in very peculiar ways. She was very chatty, loved to praise Petunia's works of art, but didn't hesitate to praise her own work as well. An unexpected yet pleasant topic of conversation had been that she wasn't bothered about being a squib in the slightest. Like Petunia, she figured she had found her own kind of magic in the world of art. As the evening progressed, it became more and more evident that there was more going on between her and Petunia than Petunia led on, but the unspoken agreement lingered that that secret would expose itself when the time was right.

'What are everyone's plans for new year's?' Gwendolyn asked. 'I know my family doesn't have any particular plans yet. We're probably spending it with the grandparents.'

An uncomfortable feeling had swept over the dinner table. 'We're not sure yet, either,' said Erwin carefully. 'It depends a little on what Severus wants.'

Gwendolyn turned her gaze at Severus. 'And what is it that you want?' she asked with a genuine smile.

'It's the day my mother died, exactly one year ago,' said Severus, not quite sure how to deliver such news without making it awkward.

'Oh, I'm so, so sorry,' said Gwendolyn as she clasped her hands in front of her mouth. 'I should've known. I'm not very involved in the wizarding world but I've heard some things about you from my little brother.'

'About the basil—' Severus wanted to ask, wondering for the first time how much Gilderoy had actually told his family about being saved from the Chamber of Secrets, but got interrupted before he was able to finish.

'—about you receiving the Order of Merlin for inventing that potion,' she said. 'Your name's been mentioned in the Daily Prophet a couple of times over the past year. Also about your mother and everything, oh gosh.'

'Please, don't feel bad about it,' said Severus, and shifted around uncomfortably in his seat. 'I was thinking about visiting her grave that day, though I'm not entirely sure if I'm ready for that.'

'How about you girls help me with the dessert in the kitchen,' said Arnica in order to save Severus from having to continue the conversation. As the women left the dinner table, Severus was left alone with Erwin once more.

'You should go visit your mother,' said Erwin with a pat on his shoulder. 'And bring Lily with you. I think she needs it too.'

After dessert it became evident that Gwendolyn didn't know anything about her little brother's adventures during their previous school year, and Severus and Lily had made it clear to one another with nothing more than a nod in each other's direction that it was better not to reveal anything about it either. Shortly after tea, it was time for Gwendolyn to return home and gave everyone a firm hug and her gratitude when she left. Petunia had shut the front door behind her as she walked Gwendolyn back to her car, and Severus and Lily couldn't help but snicker at the thought of why Petunia would do that.

…

The days after Christmas had just been as much of a blur as the days before Christmas had been. Severus and Lily spent most of their time playing games and reading books. Now that they didn't have their instruments anymore, the only musical fix they had was through Erwin's vinyl records. Severus had dreaded the arrival of the day of his mother's death, but inevitably it had come.

It had started to snow early in the morning. A thick layer of snow had whirled its way down on top of the already existing layer of snow. Arnica had put Severus to work by letting him shovel all the snow off the path that led to their front door. Her excuse had been that he only had a couple of days left of performing actual physical labour until magic would take over his life for good, but Severus knew better than that. She wanted to keep him occupied for as long as the torment of the day lingered above his head. He still wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to visit his mother's grave, but Lily had insisted on going. Erwin's voice resonated through his mind as he felt his fingers growing stiff from all the shovelling. _And bring Lily with you. I think she needs it too._

Erwin was right. Lily had been just as important to his mother as he had been to her, and Lily had every right to mourn her for that. After dinner Severus had taken Lily by the hand and walked out of the door together. He could feel Lily's thumb rubbing over the back of his hand in reassurance as they made their way towards the hill where Eileen was buried. 'How are you feeling, Sev?' she asked.

Severus shrugged. 'I don't know what kind of comfort I hope to find once I see her grave,' he said stiffly.

Lily planted a kiss on his cheek. 'I just want to tell her that we are together now. She never got the chance to see this.'

They passed the playground where they had met all those years ago. The play equipment had seen better days. The steps to the top of the slide had broken off. The sandpit contained more snow than sand and the chains of the swings where Lily had shown her magic for the first time had started to rust. 'Sad to see it in such poor state,' said Lily as they continued their walk.

After ten minutes or so they had reached the burial hill. Careful not to walk on any surrounding graves, they tip-toed their way towards Eileen's site. 'Sev,' Lily whispered, and prevented him for walked any further by shoving her arm in front of his chest. 'There's something here.'

A little further down the row of headstones a piece of fabric was flapping in the wind. Carefully, they walked their way up towards Eileen's headstone. 'Get your wand out,' Severus growled under his breath. 'You're right. Something's here.'

It was hard to see in the dark. Once they stood in front of Eileen's grave, they found the fabric they had heard rustling in the wind. Covering Eileen's name, the fabric had crudely been nailed against her tombstone. Terror stuck like lightening through Severus's heart. 'Petunia's painting of us,' Lily whimpered as she ripped the canvas from the nail, and her hands shook uncontrollably as she held it up for both her and Severus to see.

'SEVERUS!' a woman's voice yelled in the distance. 'LILY! YOU NEED TO RUN! RUN!'

'That's Mrs Figg,' said Severus as he felt a feeling of rage boiling up from the depths of his being. 'We have to get home. NOW!'

Lily shoved the canvas underneath her coat and together they ran down the hill as fast as their legs could carry them. 'I notified the Order!' they heard Mrs Figg say as they ran passed her. 'Hurry!'

Loud sirens of fire trucks could be heard in the distance. 'No!' Lily cried as she continued to run. 'No this is not happening!'

Nothing could have prepared them for what they found when they ran up their street. The Dark Mark was hoovering above their house, and fire coming out of every window. 'Lily!' cried Arnica as she ran her way up to them, tears streaming down her face. 'I don't know where they are, I don't know –'

Severus left Lily behind with her mother and made his way up to the house. The heat was already at an unbearable temperature once he had reached the front door, and kicked it in. He nearly tripped over Petunia as he found her collapsed by the front door. He took a hold of her arms and dragged her over the doorstep. 'Lily!' he cried. 'Lily! I found Petunia!'

The fire trucks and ambulances had arrived. Lily led the paramedics to her sister as Severus rushed his way back in. 'Sev!' Lily cried behind him, but he ignored her pleads. 'Erwin!' he called out, but the sound of the fire was growing overwhelming around him. The smoke started to cloud around his eyes, and within a matter of seconds he was surrounded by fire and his vision went blank.

Severus dropped down on the floor and started to feel his way around until he touched the carpet of the living room. ' _Aguamenti!'_ he screamed inside his mind as he held up his wand in front of him. The fire in front of his diffused as water sprouted from the tip of his wand, but the smoke around him only grew thicker.

' _Maw_.'

A faint mewing sound was coming from right in front of him. He continued to crawl his way forward, feeling the heat causing his clothes to melt against his skin. Blue lights started to shine through the broken window of the living room. A fire truck had made its way around the back and three men carried a large hose through the window. 'We can't find the source!' cried one of the men. 'I've never seen anything like it!'

The blue lights shaped the outlining of Erwin lying unconscious on the floor near the backdoor. Severus found his hand and clasped it into his firmly into his own. 'Bombarda!' he cried as he aimed his wand at the back door. With the sound of a blasting cannonball, the wall crumbled down around him, revealing an army of firemen and paramedics that had circled around the house.

No longer able to use his voice after all the smoke he had inhaled, he allowed the paramedics to pick him up and carry him onto a stretch. He saw Erwin being carried on a stretch next to him. They cut open his jacket, revealing a very frightened owl and a cat curled up together, but otherwise unharmed. 'Mister Snape,' said a paramedic as he tried to get Severus's attention by snapping his fingers. 'We're doing everything in our power to save your family. We're from St. Mungo's. We're taking it from here.'

From above, a soft white light grew until it overtook the entire street, blinding everything in its path.

Dumbledore had come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I've been through training with the fire department that included orientating through rooms where everything was clouded with smoke. It's hard to believe but it's true that as soon as the exits of your house are no longer visible, every form of mental orientation you had is gone, even if you've lived in the same place for many many years. In conclusion: don't trust the movies. You enter a burning house, you'll be unconscious before you make it to the end of the hallway. :')


	204. Moving to Ottery St. Catchpole

' _Who would've thought Mrs Figg was watching over us all this time.'_

' _How did Dumbledore manage to obliviate everyone like that?'_

' _The Ministry's working overtime to figure out who's responsible, but no luck so far.'_

' _Your family is no longer safe in Cokeworth. The Weasleys have been contacted about this.'_

' _Used magic to safe his entire family, and still received a bloody letter from the Ministry about improper use of underage magic. Absolutely despicable.'_

'Give me one good reason not to marry you right now, Severus Snape.'

Severus was pulled out of the depths of his mind when he heard Lily's voice echo in the distance. 'Because that would be illegal in England,' he mumbled weakly.

'Sev! You're awake!' Lily cried. 'Mum, Tuney, Sev's awake!' He heard the women run up to his bed and felt their hands claps into his own. 'Oh Severus,' said a teary-eyed Arnica as she ruffled through his hair. 'I'm so grateful that you're okay.'

Slowly, the faces of the three women that surrounded him came into focus. 'Where's Erwin?' he asked as the memories of their burning house came flooding back.

'Dad's okay, he's just resting,' Lily reassured him. 'Paul and Leo are also okay and are staying with the Weasleys right now. How are you feeling?'

'Where am I?' asked Severus, not entirely sure as to how he was feeling just yet.

'You're at St. Mungo's.' It was Petunia who had answered. 'You've been out for a couple of days.'

' _He's awake?'_ a voice asked from behind them. 'Sorry to interrupt ladies, but I'm going to need a moment alone with mister Snape.'

'That's the Healer,' said Lily, and planted a kiss on his forehead. 'We'll be back in a bit.'

'Good morning mister Snape,' said the Healer as he sat down beside Severus, and he recognised him as the same man who had dragged him out of the burning house. 'How are you feeling?'

'Fine,' said Severus with a shrug. 'Glad to see my body's still intact.'

'Nothing that a bathtub full of dittany can't solve,' said the Healer with a smile. 'Mister Evans is doing just fine as well. If everything is in order with the both of you, you'll be able to go home first thing in the morning.'

'Home?' Severus asked with a raised eyebrow. 'It all burned down, and—'

'—Mister Dumbledore has taken care of everything,' said the Healer. 'Your family will have to fill you in on the details on that matter. I'm going to give you a potion to help you sleep for a little while longer.' The Healer handed Severus a purple coloured phial and recognised it as a Dreamless Sleep potion. 'Did my girlfriend just propose to me?' he asked as took of sip of the potion.

The Healer's smile transformed into a grin. 'Years of study has taught me to how reconnect the body with the mind, but no book has ever taught me how to connect the mind with the heart. I'll leave you alone for now.'

As if an invisible string had wrapped around his brain, Severus felt his head sinking into the pillow. By the window of the hospital ward, a little bird was pecking at the window. Its electric blue and bright orange feathers stood out against the snowy background.

'Kingfisher,' Severus mumbled to himself, but the effects of the potions had taken control of him, and he wandered off into a dreamless sleep.

…

'It's a full moon tonight,' said Lily as she rested her head against Severus's shoulder. They were sitting in the backseat of the old Morris. Petunia was driving as carefully as she could over the slippery country roads as they made their way to Ottery St. Catchpole. 'I wonder how Remus is doing.'

It was peaceful inside the car, but on the outside, they were being escorted for a dozen Aurors on brooms who had been appointed by the Minister Minchum himself to lead them from St. Mungo's to the Burrow. Dumbledore had arranged with the Weasleys that they would come and live with them for time being. First of all because they had nowhere else to live, and secondly because the Burrow was a place that was much easier to secure as it was surrounded by magic.

'He'll tell us when we see him again,' said Severus as he played with the curls of her hair. 'I think we're here.'

The drove up the rocky road towards the Burrow. Arthur was already waiting outside for them as they turned around the corner. They opened the doors of the car when all Aurors had touched down on the ground. 'Thank you, Alastor,' said Erwin as he firmly shook hands with the Auror. 'I owe you.'

'Don't bother,' said Moody as he waved it off. 'Arthur will take it from here. Stay safe.'

They watched the Aurors fly off until they were nothing more than a speck on the horizon and turned to Arthur. 'Please, come inside,' he said with a smile. 'Molly's waiting. She wants all of you to meet Percy.'

…

Over the next two days, chaos ensued. A couple of Aurors had taken the liberty to retrieve as much of their belongings from the rubble that was left of their house in Cokeworth. Lily's potions supply had survived because the box she used was protected with magic, and was elated to find out that everything in it was still intact. Erwin and Severus's motorbikes, though covered in soot, were undamaged, as were several records, photographs, some papers from his desk including the envelope that contained the pieces of the time-turner. Petunia's paintings, however, had not survived the fire. The only piece of her art that was left was the ripped family portrait she had made for Severus. Anything else that had once built their house into a home, had gone up in flames.

The Daily Prophet was red-hot now that a known member of the Order of Merlin had been under attack by Death Eaters. The fact that no-one knew of his current whereabouts either, only added oil to the fire. As much as Severus understood the gratitude of the family for saving their lives, it was also because of him that they had ended up in that situation in the first place. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, knowing that the Dark Lord had lost his patience with him, and was now deliberately targeting everyone he cared about to drive him mad.

The Young Order had found a way to donate supplies to them, mostly consisting of clothing, though a Ministry's official. Severus was pleased to see that Sirius had taken the liberty to supply him with brand new shirts of their favourite bands, and to his surprise, even Potter had donated some of his finer denim to him. Lily had thrown on a bright orange woollen sweater that clashed horribly with her hair. 'Courtesy of Alice,' said Lily as she hugged herself to feel the warmth of the fabric around her. 'She doesn't know an ounce about Muggle fashion, but does she know how to pick the most comfortable things.'

Severus had worried that Petunia might have started to distance herself after everything that had happened, but she proved to do the exact opposite. The first thing she had done was find a way to send out a message to Gwendolyn to let her know that she was alright and in protective custody. After that, she had tricked an Auror into buying her brand-new art supplies and started teaching Billy and Charlie how to paint. Charlie had not forgotten about Severus and wanted to know all about the dragon he had seen when he had travelled to the Scottish islands. Severus obliged as Charlie sat down on his lap, describing the dragon he had seen in colourful detail.

Severus sat down on a wooden swing that Arthur had recently built for his children. His mind wandering off to all the scenarios that could occur in the upcoming days. Two days from now he was supposed to meet up with Dumbledore at the Halfway House in London. Erwin and Lily would take a huge risk coming along, but he didn't want to miss out on seeing Remus and Sirius there. There were many things that needed to be done in order to prepare for the inevitable, which was finding Grindelwald at Nurmengard, somewhere on the East side of Germany.

'How are you, Severus?' asked Erwin as he sat down on the swing beside him. The sun had started to set, painting the sky in hues of pink.

'I've got some theories,' said Severus with a shrug. 'I'm quite positive that I know who stole the painting from my lab at Hogwarts. Mulciber, or Avery. Probably both. They must've given it to the Dark Lord, knowing that I had rejected the Dark Lord's proposal to join his ranks definitely, and –'

'—Severus,' Erwin interrupted. 'That's not what I meant.'

'I'm angry,' said Severus as he fumbled around with his wand. 'And I'm bitter, and I'm terrified.'

'What is it that you are terrified off, Severus?' Erwin asked calmly.

'That I'm going to lose it all again,' he spat. 'Every time I built something up there's something lurking in the shadows, ready to strip it all away from me. It took Lily from me, and my mother, and it took away any freedom of choice that I have over my own life.'

'Lily's still here, Severus. What do you mean by—'

'—I know, I know,' he said hastily, preventing the conversation from turning into a very difficult one to explain. 'It nearly did though.' He buried his face in his hands, and felt tears seep through the gaps of his fingers. 'In two days from now, everything is going to change, Erwin. Everything.'

He felt Erwin's hand rest on his shoulder. 'I know that you know much more about this war than I currently do,' he said. 'And I also know that you're forced to play a part in all this that no one else seems to play, for reasons that I have yet to learn. But, Severus, please do understand, that you are not Atlas, and it is not your job to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. That burden does not belong to you.'

'Then why does it feel that way?' Severus mumbled through his tears.

'Because you allow it to,' said Erwin. 'Just know, son, that I will stand by you, until the bitter end.'

…

Feeling somewhat lighter after his unexpected but welcoming conversation with Erwin, Severus made his way up to his new room and prepared himself to go to sleep. Paul had, as usual, curled himself up on his pillow, leaving him in a somewhat uncomfortable position to sleep in. As he drifted off into a slumber, visions of the kingfisher he had seen in the window of St. Mungo's hospital floated to the surface. He had seen a kingfisher before, he suddenly remembered, when he and Lily had gone camping in Dartmoor. Surprising himself by the connection that had suddenly clicked inside his head, he started to wonder how normal it was to encounter such a rare bird in such an unusual place. It was yet another question he added to his mental list of things he wanted to ask Dumbledore when they would meet again.

He continued to drift off, dreaming about the white stag he had seen through the window of the train after they had departed from Hogsmeade station. Positive that it must've been the same stag that had saved him when he was surrounded by Dementors on the Tor. His mind spiralled down deeper and deeper, showing visions of the fire breathing Hebridean Black dragon he had seen in the isle of Skye. His vision splattered around like ink in water, showing a scaly black egg hidden inside windowless room surrounded by fire, ready to hatch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Full moon fell on the 5th of January 1977


	205. No Longer Being Traced

'Sev, wake up!' Lily shrieked as she bounced up and down his bed. 'It's your birthday. You have officially become a grown-up – _again_!'

'For the love of Merlin,' Severus growled as he looked at up at Lily bouncing around him. 'Can't you let an old man sleep in peace?'

'Don't be silly, Sev,' said Lily as she smacked him in the face with a pillow. 'You should be happy. Elated even. You can do magic now, and Dumbledore will no longer have to cover your arse for it!'

Severus shoved the pillow from his face at the mention being able to do magic. As if Lily had read his mind, she handed him his wand. 'Go on, do something! This is exciting!'

Severus raised up his wand and held it in front of her face. As he looked down the shaft of his wand, he was reminded that he was holding the wand that had once belonged to her son, only to realise that the broken pieces of his old wand, along with his mother's, were left behind in their old house. Any chance of mending the broken pieces back together, had gone up in flames.

With merely a flick of his wrist, bright colours sparked from the tip of his wand and hit Lily square in the face. Accompanied by the sound of a victorious trumpet, a big cloud of multi-coloured confetti burst out of her hair, covering the bed and floor around them. 'Oi, Sev!' shrieked Lily as she spat out some slivers of confetti she had inhaled, and burst out in a fit of laughter. 'Guess I deserved that.'

Severus grabbed her shirt and pulled her down on her knees. 'Come here,' he said as he passionately kissed her on her lips and ruffled through her hair to shake the remaining confetti out. 'Colloportus,' he mumbled as he aimed his wand at the door, and heard the soft click of a lock falling into place. 'Muffliato.'

'You think that'll keep the parents out?' Lily asked as she started kissing down his neck.

'They'll only grow suspicious if it takes too long,' said Severus. His wand dropped onto the floor as he relaxed under her touch. Lily rested her head on his chest and looked him in the eye like a cat who was about to pull a mischievous deed. 'You just relax,' she said as her fingers travelled over his bare chest down to the sensitive skin below his navel. 'It's your birthday, after all.'

…

The last time they had been intimate was inside the Prefect's Bathroom, several days before they had left Hogwarts for good. Severus hadn't realised just how much he had missed the gentle caressing of her hands until he felt the heat of her body again, and wished the moment never ended.

They double-checked to make sure no traces of anything suspicious lingered around as they left the room. With a bounce in their step, Severus and Lily made their way downstairs and were greeting by an explosion of festivities.

'Happy birthday Severus!' the two families shouted out together. Molly had taken a hold of his hand and dragged him into the kitchen, where a large cake decorated with seventeen burning candles was waiting for him. 'Have you done any magic yet?' she asked as she ushered everyone to sit at the table.

'Sev shot confetti into my hair,' said Lily, and shook her head to show the remnants of the confetti flutter down.

'That explains the trumpet sounds,' said Arthur as he looked longingly at the cake. 'Ready to blow out some candles?'

'Charlie, want to help me blow out the candles?' Severus asked as he noticed his fascination with the flickering lights.

'Yeah!' said Charlie, his entire being filled with enthusiasm.

'Before you do though,' said Lily as she interrupted them. 'Severus here has made me a promise last year on his birthday.'

'What promise?' asked Charlie as he looked up at Severus.

'That he would tell me what he wished for,' said Lily with a smirk. 'So, tell me Sev, what is it that you wished for?'

Severus glanced over at Erwin, who was the only person in the room who knew what his wish had been. 'I could tell you,' he said slickly, 'but I don't think you're going to like it.'

Lily's eyes narrowed. 'You did promise, Sev.'

'You,' Severus answered with a shrug.

'What about me?' asked Lily as she raised an eyebrow.

'I wished to be with you.'

'And it worked!' said Charlie happily as he clapped his hands.

Petunia started to snicker as Lily's face had turned a violent shade of red. 'I guess some wishes do come true,' said Petunia. 'Go on, Severus. It's time to make another one.'

'This time, Lily, I promise you I'll wish for something a bit more materialistic.' Both Severus and Charlie leaned over the table and blew out all seventeen candles in one go. 'Well done, Charlie,' he said as he high-fived the little boy. 'What did you wish for?'

'Dragons!' said Charlie said he raised his hands up in the air. 'Big, fire-breathing dragons!'

Severus couldn't help but laugh. 'I should've known.'

'Are you going to tell us what you wished for, Severus, or are you going to make us wait for another year?' asked Arnica.

'I miss making music,' said Severus. 'Since we're going to London today, I was planning on buying a new bass guitar from the money I have saved selling potions.'

'Say no more!' said Erwin as he pulled a large case out of nowhere and placed it on the table. 'Consider this a gift from all of us. Turning seventeen is a big deal. Go on, open it.'

Severus was perplexed by the unexpected gift that had been presented to him. 'You all got me a bass,' he said as he touched the handle of the case.

'Oh come on, Sev,' said Lily impatiently. 'Open it!'

Severus flicked open the locks on either side and opened the case, revealing a Fender Precision model. The bass was completely black from its body, to its pickguard and its pickups, with the exception of its maple neck and rosewood fretboard.

'You should check the backside,' said Petunia.

Severus picked the bass up out of its case and flipped it over. Petunia must've managed to get her hands on a type of paint that looked similar to the white paint he had made for her. She had painted a silver doe, standing between the trees of a dark forest. 'Lily explained it to me,' said Petunia with a wink. 'I hope you like it.'

'This is the greatest gift I've ever received,' said Severus, feeling his words falling short. 'Aside from the gift of having a family.'

…

Arthur had applied some special magical modifications to his Ford Anglia so that Erwin, Lily and Severus could drive their way up to London unnoticed. 'All you need to do is press this Invisibility Booster,' said Arthur as he pointed at a small silver button on the car's dashboard. 'It'll turn the car and everything in it invisible, but remember, people on the road don't look out for the things they can't see, so drive carefully.'

With a nod and a wave, they traded the comfort of the Burrow behind for the icy country roads that led to London. Arthur's warning had not been without reason, and they were very fortunate that there was very little traffic considering the weather conditions, as Erwin had to sway out of the way of any merging cars.

The drive to London had taken a lot longer than anticipated. It was already passed three in the afternoon by the time they arrived, and were relieved when they were able to stretch their legs once they had found an empty parking spot near the Halfway House.

They were greeted by Remus and Mr Mulpeper, who were serving food to a couple of guests who were sitting at the bar. 'I'm so glad to see you all,' said Remus as he pulled Lily and Severus into a tight embrace, and firmly shook hands with Erwin. 'Sirius is upstairs. I'll join you later.'

They made their way upstairs, and were greeted not only by Sirius, but by the entire Young Order. 'I had no idea you would all be here!' Lily cried happily as she hugged all of her girlfriends.

'I see you're rocking my shirts well,' said Sirius as he shook hands with Severus. 'Glad to see you're all okay. Quite a nasty shock when we all heard what had happened to your home in Cokeworth.'

'Thanks for that,' said Severus genuinely as he noticed Remus joining the group. 'And I suppose I ought to thank you as well, Potter.'

'Don't bother,' said Potter with a shrug. 'I mean, I know we have our differences that we have yet to settle, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't look out for one another, either. Especially in times like these.'

A little taken aback by Potter's sudden genuinity, Severus was glad to see Frank jumping into the conversation. 'I got you something, Severus. Or actually my mum does, knowing that the robes she had given you must've gone up in flames, so – here you go.' Frank handed him a new set of robes, identical to the ones he had been given before.

'Haven't even had a chance to wear them yet,' said Severus as he looked at the robes. 'Thank your mother for me, Frank.'

'I will,' said Frank as he gave Severus a pat on his shoulder.

'I don't think I've ever been so spoiled on my birthday before,' Severus added.

'It's your birthday?' shreaked Emma as she overheard the conversation. 'Bloody hell, Severus. Why didn't you say so?'

'I – I – uhm,' he stuttered. 'I hadn't expected to see any of you here. I only know I was supposed to meet with Dumbledore.'

'We're all supposed to meet with Dumbledore,' said Mary. 'You probably found a note in your pocket like the rest of us.'

Erwin looked around the room is disbelief. 'You're all recruits for Dumbledore's Order,' he muttered.

'Technically we're Severus's recruits,' said Emma nonchalantly. 'He's the one who founded the Young Order at Hogwarts.'

'You're all so young,' said Erwin as tears started to form in his eyes.

'It's okay, dad,' said Lily as she wrapped her arms around her father. 'How old where you when you went to war?'

'That's exactly my point,' said Erwin, shaking his head in disbelief.

'You're a war veteran, mister Evans?' asked Sirius curiously.

'I am,' said Erwin as he wiped a tear from his eyes and drew a deep breath to contain himself. 'I'm already working for Dumbledore's Order, as is my wife, Arnica, and we're trying to retrieve possible information on Death Eaters in Muggle records. It's just – it's just that it's all coming back to me, seeing you all like this.'

'I'm so sorry to hear that, mister Evans,' said Frank. 'I suppose there is a lot that we could learn from you, being a veteran and all that.'

'Magical warfare is hardly comparable to Muggle warfare,' said Erwin. But I suppose, if there's anything you wish to know, then I will do my best to help you understand.'

'Mister Evans, I've got at least a dozen questions on my mind that I would like to ask,' said Evan, 'but I think that'll have to wait, because I think I can hear Dumbledore coming upstairs.'

Everyone in the room turned around and faced the door. The sound of gentle footsteps stopped on the other side. The door swung open, revealing Dumbledore dressed in his best seventies three-piece suit. 'Welcome, everyone,' he said with a twinkle in his eye, 'to the new Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Recently learned a little fun fact about the robes Alan Rickman wore in the movies. In an interview he states that it was very important to him that the sleeves of the robes covered half of his hands rather than stop at the wrists. It was meant to be very symbolic, and if you use the sleeves of your own shirt to cover half your hand, perhaps you can see why. On Youtube, if you type in "Alan Rickman talks Severus Snape at NY Times Arts & Leisure weekend 2012" you'll find the interview.
> 
> For me, receiving those robes again on the day he is coming of age, is symbolic to becoming the man again he once as.


	206. Dumbledore's Visit at the Halfway House

Dumbledore had conjured a large round table and thirteen chairs for everyone to sit in. Once everyone had taken a seat, mister Mulpeper came inside carrying large trays filled with tea and sandwiches. 'Welcome to the Order, everyone,' said mister Mulpeper as he placed the trays on the table. 'I won't be joining you today, as this meeting is meant for the new recruits. Good day, everyone.'

'Thank you for these sandwiches, Nicholas,' said Dumbledore as he grabbed a tuna sandwich for himself and watched mister Mulpeper close the door behind him again. 'Erwin, please, do stay with us,' he said as he noticed Erwin getting up, 'there's a fair chance we'll be in need of your expertise on warfare.' With a nod, Erwin sat back down again.

'to start off on a practical note,' said Dumbledore, 'I am aware that some of you still have the trace on you as you have yet to become of age. For this reason, I cannot accept you as a full member of the Order of the Phoenix just yet. Please, don't let that stop you from being actively involved, as long as you refrain from using any magic. You will automatically become a member as soon as you turn seventeen.'

'Glad to hear that, Headmaster,' said Potter as he grabbed a sandwich from the plate. 'Could you tell us anything about what the Order is currently preoccupied with?'

'There's the case of the werewolves,' said Dumbledore with a nod in Remus's direction. 'Catriona Belby and mister Lupin here are actively recruiting werewolves that come in here for the Wolfsbane Potion. That includes a few Ministry officials who have survived the attack last November. Could you share any more information on that, mister Lupin?'

'I do,' said Remus. 'It's nearly impossible to get exact numbers, but so far we know that there's a fifty-fifty case of werewolves joining You-Know-Who's cause, and werewolves joining our cause. We prefer not to register their names anywhere, in case the list might fall into the wrong hands.'

'Thank you, mister Lupin,' said Dumbledore. 'Another thing that we're currently doing is collecting information regarding potential Death Eaters –'

'—I already informed them about that, sir,' said Erwin. 'We've made a list of known Death Eaters and potential Death Eaters. It was a bit easier after Rosier had been questioned in Azkaban, though –'

'—ehm, dad,' Lily interrupted. 'I think it's better if we don't talk about that here.'

Evan was staring at the sandwich he was holding in his hand, but looked as if he was no longer hungry. 'It's fine,' he said weakly. 'It's just that I hadn't heard anything about my father since the day of his arrest.'

'Your father?' asked Erwin curiously. 'Mind if I ask what caused you to turn against your family?'

Evan took a hold of Emma's hand. 'I'm Muggle-born, like Lily,' said Emma. 'And I'm also in Slytherin. Dumbledore helped sent my parents to New-Zealand so they wouldn't have to worry about me.'

'Love really does conquer all,' said Erwin with a smile.

'I prefer not to bore you all with the things that other members of the Order are currently occupied with,' Dumbledore continued. 'The main reason why I asked all of you to come here today, is because of mister Snape.'

Everyone's head turned towards Severus, who in return looked up at Dumbledore, knowing what was about to come.

'A prophecy has been made,' said Dumbledore.

'A prophecy?' mumbled Potter. 'D'you mean a type of prophecy only seers can make?'

'Indeed, mister Potter,' Dumbledore confirmed. 'A prophecy has been made regarding the outcome of this war.'

'And does this prophecy have anything to do with Severus?' Peter squeaked.

'—it doesn't,' said Severus darkly, and noticed Lily shooting him a questionable look. 'Lily and I overheard the prophecy last Hallowe'en inside the Hog's Head Inn in Hogsmeade. _Souls scattered across time. The four great wizards who defied death realigned. Darkness comes when meddled with time. Three must falter to realign before darkness comes._ The prophecy spoke of four great wizards who have managed to defy death one way or another. One of the wizards the prophecy referred to is obvious. Nicolas Flamel has created the Philosopher's Stone and therefore has been able to prolong his life far longer than humanly possible. The second wizard it refers to is the Dark Lord, who has managed to meddle with death in a way that is yet unknown to me. The third wizard is Headmaster Dumbledore here, who will have to explain his side of this story on his own accord, and last but not least, there's Gellert Grindelwald, who, assuming everyone here is familiar with the story of the Three Brothers by Beedle the Bard, has found a way to collect, or at least trace, all of the Hallows that were once given to the brothers by Death itself.'

Severus had felt the words flow from his tongue like a river of lies. 'The Dark Lord is after me,' he continued. 'He's been after me ever since I rejected his offer after I had asked him for a position amongst his ranks. It's putting me, and my family, in grave danger, and it is the reason why Dumbledore and I have decided that it should be me that needs to leave England in order to find Grindelwald. Grindelwald is a piece of this puzzle that needs to be solved.' From the inside of his pockets, he pulled out the envelope containing the pieces of the time-turner that had been spared by the fire and emptied it out on the table.

'Anyone know what this is?' he asked to the group.

'How did you get this, Severus?' asked Dumbledore curiously as he picked up the hourglass.

'I visited my father for the last time at Wandsworth Prison in London on the fifth of august last year,' said Severus matter-of-factly. 'When we left the prison, the Big Ben had been, and still is, damaged due to the air break speed regulator breaking down. I didn't think anything of it until Petunia, Lily's sister, had painted the scene and found this caught between the clock's cogs. She handed this to me on the day we returned to Cokeworth.'

' _I mark the hours-,'_ Erwin read out loud as he observed the engraving on one of the pieces. 'Severus, what exactly is this?'

'It's a time-turner,' said Severus in a very serious manner. 'The only known time-turners are heavily guarded by the Ministry, but that's not the most important part about this piece. He flipped over the hourglass's disc and shoved it to the centre of the table for everyone to see. 'Grindelwald's mark is carved into it.'

'I remember seeing Avery walking around with that mark around his neck,' said Evan with a sneer. 'Got it from Mulciber after he transferred to Durmstrang.'

Dumbledore picked up the disc and traced the outlining of the triangle with his thumb. 'Take this with you, when you meet him,' he said as he handed it back to Severus. 'He will not answer to me, but he may answer to you.'

'But what exactly is it that you're implying, Severus?' asked Mary. 'That time has somehow been meddled with?'

'Perhaps,' said Severus. 'Or perhaps Grindelwald has failed, considering how the time-turner has shattered. Either way, it requires answers. Answers only Grindelwald can deliver us.'

'And what is it that you require of us, Severus?' asked Frank. 'There's only so much I was able to teach everyone during our meetings in the Room of Requirement, but there's nothing that I can think of that could possibly help you find your way to Grindelwald.'

'I need to prepare,' said Severus. 'I need information. I need supplies. I need to get my motorbike winterproof, which I will need your help with, Sirius, and I need to find a way in which I can keep in contact with all of you with an absolute guarantee that our messages cannot be intercepted. I need –'

'—me,' said Erwin stiffly. 'You need me to help you prepare for all of this.'

'I do,' said Severus.

'And Lily,' Erwin added as he looked at his daughter. 'I know you well enough to know that you're not going to leave Severus's side.'

'I'm sorry, dad,' said Lily with a tremble in her voice. 'I—'

'—don't,' said Erwin sternly. 'Both of you, promise me one thing before you leave.'

'And what's that, dad?' asked Lily quietly.

'That you don't tell me when you leave,' said Erwin. 'I don't think my heart can take it.'

…

A debate had sparked amongst the group regarding the prophecy. Had time really been tempered with? And if it had, what is it that needed to change in the past for a future that they held no knowledge of? We're Dumbledore, Grindelwald, Flamel and the Dark Lord really connected through all of this somehow?

As the debate continued, Severus had slipped away from the table and tapped Sirius on the shoulder. 'There's something that I need you to do for me,' he whispered.

With a nod, Sirius stood up and joined Severus in a corner of the room. 'What is it that you need?' asked Sirius.

From the inside of his pocket, Severus pulled out a note and handed it to Sirius. 'I've been working on perfecting that motor oil, and this is the recipe for it. I need you to market this for me under your name.'

'Well, okay,' said Sirius as he looked at the note. 'But why do you need me to put it on the market for you?'

'I'd rather not have my name on it, with the Dark Lord being after me and all,' said Severus. 'That, and you're the only one here who has an ounce of knowledge on motorbikes. Twenty-five percent of the proceeds will be yours. Twenty-five will be for me – and I need you to put that in my account at Gringotts if possible – and the remaining fifty percent needs to go to Dumbledore's Order for any necessities it needs. If you market it well, it has the potential the wipe out the competition and turn into something very profitable.'

'Is there a catch?' asked Sirius.

'There's a little dash of magic involved,' said Severus, 'which I know is against the law, so I need you to be very careful on how you describe the ingredients on the container.'

'I hear you,' said Sirius with a nod. 'I'll find a way to turn this into a profitable product. Got a name for it yet?'

'Greasy Git Motor Oil,' said Severus with a grin. 'I owe you one for that name, and it'll probably appeal to the greasers out there as well.'

Sirius barked his distinctive laugh and secured the note in an inner pocket of his leather jacket. 'Turning tragedy into profit. No wonder you were sorted into Slytherin. But on a more serious note, Severus, is there anything that you need from us right now to help you prepare for your journey to the East?'

'Not really,' said Severus as he glanced at the table. Dumbledore had taken it upon himself to stop the discussion by explaining to the group how his story was a piece of the prophecy. 'I need you to listen to what he has to say, and I need to sneak out and retrieve something by myself as I don't want to get anyone in trouble.'

'Got it,' said Sirius as he turned his back on Severus and joined everyone at the table again.

Severus glided his way towards the door and gently closed it behind him. His absence would not go unnoticed, but the last thing he needed right now was for someone to emphasise on what a reckless quest he was about to embark upon. The risk of being seen by any supporter of the Dark Lord was probable, but didn't measure up to the thing he was going to need for his journey to the East. He walked out of the Halfway House and didn't stop until he had found an alley dark enough to apparate from. With the British Museum in mind, he saw his surrounding crumble into slivers and piece itself back together in a dark corner outside the museum, until he felt a fist clasping tightly around the back of his jacket, nearly pulling him back to the alley where he had apparated from.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N James Potter's birthday is on the 27th of March.


	207. To Steal a Pensieve

Severus rammed his elbow into the stomach of whoever had taken a hold of him, and swiftly pulled his wand out of his pocket. ' _What the fuck, Remus_!' he snapped angrily as he saw Remus gasping for breath on the ground, and lowered his wand. 'You could've been splinched.'

Remus needed a moment to catch his breath but glared at Severus as soon as he was able to stand up. 'Where are we?' he asked sternly.

'At the British Museum,' Severus responded stiffly. 'What made you decide that you suddenly needed to come with?'

'Because I know that you're lying,' said Remus as he shoved his way passed Severus, and stomped his way towards the entrance. 'I know you're lying about this damn prophecy.'

'There has been a prophecy, Remus,' said Severus as he hurried his way after him. 'Lily and I were there. We know what happened.'

'That's not what I meant,' Remus snapped back. 'I meant that things are finally starting to make sense to me.'

'What do you mean, Remus?'

'This prophecy is about you, too,' said Remus as he pushed his way through the crowd. 'I don't know how, but I do know that there's been something off with you, ever since the start of our fifth year at Hogwarts.'

'Remus, I—'

'—you're _older_ ,' Remus interrupted. 'You're not but you are. We start our fifth year, and over the course of one summer you've done a full one-eighty. You shove all of your Slytherin friends aside –'

'—not all of them, I—'

'—don't interrupt me!' Remus snapped as he stomped his way towards the centre of the museum. 'You come back to school, and suddenly you can perform occlumency – _and_ legilimency. You can apparate and disapparate with the excuse that your mother taught you how. I've seen you conjure a Patronus so strong, I doubt Dumbledore could equal what you did on that day. You invented the Wolfsbane Potion – which I am forever in your debt for, I should add – but that still doesn't explain the sudden interest in helping people like me as opposed to eradicating my kind; which is probably what you would've wanted ever since that incident at the Shrieking Shack in our fourth year.'

'What is it that you want from me, Remus?' Severus asked calmly.

Remus stopped dead in his tracks. 'I want answers,' he said darkly.

'Sit down,' said Severus as he pointed at a table at a coffee stand. 'I'll go get us some coffee.'

Remus took a seat and Severus returned a moment later with two cups of coffee in his hands. 'Do you know why I'm here?' he asked as he handed Remus his coffee.

'Something you're going to need, right?' said Remus as he cradled the cup in his hands. 'The Neptune dish from the Mildenhall treasure, perhaps? You still believe it's a pensieve?'

'I know it's a pensieve,' said Severus. 'If it's answers you want, Remus, then I'm going to need your help retrieving the dish first.'

'You want to steal the bloody dish?' said Remus matter-of-factly.

'Feel free to ask any employee around here to just hand over the dish willingly,' said Severus sarcastically.

'Then how do you suggest we're going to do this, huh?' Remus asked as he lowered his voice. 'Imperius an employee and tell them to get it for – oh, no.'

'I can't exactly break the glass and just make a run for it either, can I?' said Severus. 'Then what do you suggest we do? The last thing I need is to draw attention to it, cause mayhem, and have my name, once again, written on the cover of the Daily Prophet.'

'There's got to be some other way,' said Remus as he looked up at the high ceiling as though deep in thought. 'Do you think we could replace it by something else?'

'I suppose we could transfigure something in order to make it look exactly like the dish,' said Severus, now, too, staring at the ceiling. 'But that leaves us with the how.'

'Transfigure…or duplicate,' said Remus, and looked as if a light had been switched on in his mind. 'Severus, do you remember the charm used to duplicate objects?'

'Geminio,' he mumbled. 'We could distract the security guards by setting something on fire near it. Create a smokescreen around us, break the glass and duplicate the dish. Run off with it, and by the time the security guards come in they will find that nothing had been stolen.'

'One thing,' Remus added, 'I'm not of age yet so I'm going to need you to do all the magic and cause the distraction. Shrink the dish as soon as I got my hands on it so I can fit it in my pocket.'

A sly smile curled onto Severus's lips. 'Better get to work, shall we?'

They drained their coffees and headed straight for the European section of the museum. 'It's in there,' said Severus as he pulled a napkin from the coffee stand out of his pocket. He walked his way to the far end of the hall and set fire to the napkin with a flick of his fingers. He sprinted his way into the room where the Mildenhall treasure was located, and within seconds security guards flocked their way on the opposite end to see where the fire was coming from, and started ushering visitors towards the emergency exits.

Severus pulled out his wand. 'Fumos,' he whispered, and smoke rose from the tip of his wand and created a screen around them thick enough no-one could see through. 'Reducto!' Severus cried as he pointed his wand at the glass that protected the treasure, and shattered it into a million pieces. 'Geminio.' The Neptune dish shook and shivered until an exact replica sprung out of thin air. Remus grabbed the original and held it up for Severus to have it shrunk. 'Reducio,' said Severus as he flicked his wand in the shape of a "V". A purple light shot from the tip of his wand, and the dish shrunk until it was the size of a teacup dish. Remus shoved it into his pocket and placed the copy of the dish in the exact same place the original had stood.

Severus and Remus fake coughed their way out of the room back into the hall. 'Something happened over here!' Remus cried towards the security guards.

'Better follow the rest of the visitors outside, kids,' said a security guard as he came running up to them. The smoke had slowly started to subdue until it became clear enough to see again. 'Leave this up to me and the rest of my colleagues.'

More than happy to oblige, Severus and Remus ran their way towards the emergency exit and mingled in with the rest of the visitors on the grounds outside. 'We better head back to the Halfway House,' said Severus as they made their way outside the gates. They continued walking until they had found a spot where they would be certain they couldn't be seen apparating.

Remus pulled the Neptune dish out of his pocket and handed it over to Severus. 'One thing before we head back,' he said. 'How do you know for certain that this is a pensieve?'

'Because pensieves are extremely rare,' said Severus as he shoved it into his own pocket. 'Traditionally, witches and wizards who possess a pensieve are buried with it, for the same reasons we are usually buried with our wand, as they are highly personal. This particular pensieve however, was ploughed up in a field by a farmer, meaning that the body of its original owner is probably still buried out there.'

'Do you believe that it still contains memories of its previous owner?' asked Remus curiously.

'Memories look like thick gossamer strands that are neither gas nor liquid,' said Severus. 'But I didn't see any of that floating on the surface of this dish. Either way, it doesn't matter. If it did contain old memories, I would've buried them again. There's a reason people bury their secrets along with them.'

'Then what about your secret?' asked Remus. 'You promised you would give me some answers if I helped you steal the dish.'

'I did promise,' said Severus with a nod. 'Follow me.'

They walked for about a mile until Severus had a found a pub he deemed shady enough for them to go in without being disturbed. There was a door on the other side of the pub that led to a small hidden courtyard. Since it was covered in snow, there were no guests sitting outside. With a wave of his wand he locked the backdoor and casted a muffliato charm just in case someone was to try to overhear their conversation.

They sat down on a snow-covered bench. Severus pulled out the dish from his pocket, and with a tap of his wand he enlarged the dish back to its original size. He held the dish up in front of him and released the edges. The dish stayed afloat in mid-air, spinning slowly in the soft wind. 'That ought to confirm that this is indeed a pensieve,' said Severus. 'Remus, what I'm about to tell you, is going to be very hard to grasp, but I need you to stick with me nonetheless.'

Remus nodded in understanding. 'Are you going to show me some memories?' he asked.

'Only one memory,' said Severus. 'Remus, I need you to understand what you're about to see is going to be very disturbing, and I also need you to understand that, even though it is real for me, and it has happened to me, none of it has happened to any of us, yet.'

'You're speaking in riddles, Severus,' said Remus as he raised an eyebrow.

'What I'm about to show you is an extract of my past,' said Severus as he raised his wand to the temple of his head, and extracted a silver string of memories from his mind. 'The date on which this happened, is the thirtieth of June, in the year of nineteen ninety-seven.'

'Ninety-seven?' Remus mumbled. 'But, how's that—'

'—I need you to see it first,' said Severus as he swirled the memory around in the pensieve. 'After that, you may ask questions.'

They bend over the pensieve and as soon as the tip of their noses touched the memory, they were pulled away from the courtyard and landed at the top of the Astronomy Tower.

Remus was trying hard to take in the scene that was unfolding in front of him. 'Is that you?' he asked as the older version of Severus busted through the doors.

'It is,' said Severus, 'but please, safe your questions for later.'

Remus turned around, and saw several people he did not recognise, with the exception of Fenrir Greyback. 'That's the man who's responsible for my lycanthropy,' he said hoarsely.

' _Draco, do it, or stand aside so one of us –_ '

'There's also Alecto and Amycus Carrow,' said Severus. 'Brother and sister, and Death Eaters. And the boy is Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, who had been burdened with the impossible task of killing Dumbledore in order to receive a place among the Dark Lord's ranks.'

' _We've got a problem, Snape_ ,' said the man who was now identified as Amycus. ' _The boy doesn't seem able…_ '

' _Severus…_ '

The soft and vulnerable voice caused Remus to turn around and come face to face with a very weakened looking Dumbledore.

Snape pushed Draco out of the way, and harsh lines of revulsion and hatred were etched upon his face.

' _Severus…please…_ '

Snape raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore. Severus closed his eyes and only heard the _'Avada Kadavra!_ ' echo in the distance, the curse hitting Dumbledore square in the chest. Tumbling down the tower like a ragdoll.

'Time to leave,' said Severus as he felt Remus brushing up beside him, and pulled himself out of the memory until he returned to the courtyard.

'Holy shit,' said Remus as he tried to catch his breath. 'What in Merlin's name was that all about?'

'It was an act of mercy,' said Severus weakly. 'Did you take a good look at Dumbledore?'

'He looked weak,' said Remus. 'There seemed to be something wrong with his hand.'

'He got cursed. He knew he was going to die, and he knew that Draco had been given the task to kill him.'

'But, but Severus, how –'

'I died almost a year later during a battle at Hogwarts,' Severus continued. 'In my first life, I did join the Death Eaters after graduation, and have done many things that I am very ashamed of. The biggest shame of it all, was being unable to protect Lily.'

'With Lily still with you, at that time?'

Severus shook his head. 'I won't thread into too much detail, but Lily and I were no longer friends after school. There had been a prophecy, a different one, and it resulted in her death by the hands of the Dark Lord himself. I switched sides that very day, and acted as a spy for Dumbledore by means of redemption.'

'Then how come you're sitting here with me?' asked Remus.

'When I died, I was given a choice. Either I could move on, to wherever that may be, or I could choose to come back and set my records straight. I chose to come back, and I came back on the first of September at the start of our fifth year.'

Remus's mouth fell open in surprise. 'I've got so many questions swirling around in my mind right now, but—'

'There are only a few things you ought to know,' said Severus, growing slightly irritated. 'You were right about the fact that I lied. The new prophecy does include me, because I am one of the four wizards who defied death. This doesn't mean that Grindelwald is in no way involved, because he's attempting the chance the timeline, as is evident by the broken time-turner we found. I will need to leave soon in order to find him.'

You see, Remus,' Severus added. 'During my first life I had grown resentful and bitter as I grew older. The only light in my life at the time had been Lily, and once she was gone, I had simply lost my will to live.'

'What about her?' asked Remus. 'What was her story in all of this?'

'I'd rather not tell you,' said Severus stiffly.

'You didn't just come back to settle your own records, did you?'

Severus shook his head, and a faint smile appeared on his lips. 'I did it all for her.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N From Pottermore: "A Pensieve is a wide and shallow dish made of metal or stone, often elaborately decorated or inlaid with precious stones, and carrying powerful and complex enchantments. Pensieves are rare, because only the most advanced wizards ever use them, and because the majority of wizardkind is afraid of doing so." Remus and Severus saw the pensieve at the British Museum for the first time in chapter 101.
> 
> A/N The first scene from Marvel's Black Panther movie was filmed at the British Museum.
> 
> A/N "Fumos" is a spell found in The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble.


	208. The Flamel's Decision

After Remus had promised that he would keep quiet about the memory he had seen, they apparated their way back to the Halfway House. The gathering of the new members of the Order of the Phoenix was still ongoing, and a few asked where Severus and Remus had gone off to, to which Remus responded that they had gone for a well needed walk around the block.

…

It was late at night by the time Severus, Lily and Erwin arrived back at The Burrow. Arnica was the only one who was still awake, and welcomed them back with open arms; relieved to see that none of them got harmed while they were gone.

Severus and Lily stayed up a little while longer when Erwin and Arnica had gone off to bed. Severus explained to Lily that it had been necessary to lie about the prophecy, as he didn't want nor felt the need to explain to everyone how and why he had returned to the world of the living in a different time. The war during his first life had been an entirely different war, fought from an entirely different perspective, and he didn't want to cause any chaos because of it. He also told her that Remus had gotten suspicious about it and had followed him as he had taken off to the British Museum. 'This is the thing we stole from the museum,' he said as he handed her the pensieve. 'I promised Remus some answers if he helped me retrieve it, so I did.'

'So Remus knows?' she asked.

Severus nodded. 'He does. He doesn't know all the details, but he knows enough to understand that the prophecy does involve me. I trust him enough to know that he'll keep quiet about it…and, Lily,' he added, 'if there is anything you wish to see – about my first life, I mean – I can show it to you now, instead of it being just stories.'

Lily shook her head and handed the pensieve back to Severus. 'I don't need to see the horrors, or your former wrongdoings,' she said. 'The only thing that matters to me now is how we are going to survive the war that is yet to come. The one in which we stand together.'

…

The time had arrived for Petunia to return to Oxford. Guided by a couple of Aurors who had also been present when they were moved to Ottery St. Catchpole, she went back to the place that was far safer for her to be. Gwendolyn had been informed about her departure from The Burrow and would await her return at the university.

Severus spent the days that led up to Lily's birthday teaching her how to ride her father's motorbike, playing on his new bass and collecting supplies for the journey to come. Lily brewed up a large sum of extra potions that she could stash in the little box. All they needed at this point was a magical tent, which Arthur had promised he would look for at the lost-and-found section of the Ministry. After quidditch matches, a lot of tents were often left abandoned, so there were bound to be some old tents stashed somewhere.

On a particularly cold but sunny morning, Severus, along with Paul following at his heels, walked his way up to the edge of the Burrow's grounds. He had noticed several days prior that there was a little pond, completely frozen over, that most likely contained some magical plants he could give to Lily for her potions. He knelt down in the snow, his wand ready at hand. He traced a circle the size of a dinnerplate on the ice and watched the ice melt into vapor. Sliding his hand through the freezing water, he felt around the bottom of the shallow pond until something slimy and slippery tickled his fingers. He fisted the little plant by its roots and forcefully pulled out of the soil. 'This is gillyweed,' he said as he held the plant up for Paul to sniff. 'It allowed you to breathe under water. Or at least, it allows humans to breathe under water. I don't know what would happen if you were to eat it.' Paul sniffed and coughed at the sight of it, making it clear that he wasn't planning on tasting it any day soon. 'Can't blame you for that. I've never actually tried it, but it bet it doesn't taste good.' For a brief moment, Severus was drawn back into a memory of having his supply of gillyweed stolen from his private collection at Hogwarts. Lily's son had ended up using it during the second task of the Triwizard Tournament. At the time it had pissed him off a great deal, but now, it turned an unexpected smile on his face.

Paul was staring at the opposite side of the pond, meowing softly at something Severus couldn't see. 'What is it?' Severus asked as he shoved the slimy gillyweed into his pocket, and tried to see what Paul was staring at. It took a while before he found the electric blue outlining hiding amongst a couple of branches. 'It's a kingfisher,' he mumbled. 'A bloody kingfisher. Follow me.'

Gently, Severus walked his way up to the kingfisher, not wanting to startle it in case it was indeed nothing more than an ordinary bird. After a few steps he was close enough to come face to face with the bird and stuck out a finger in the hope that the bird would take it as a friendly sign. The bird touched his finger with its beak and suddenly flew up and sped off into the direction of the river. Severus ran after it with Paul following closely behind. Pieces of the puzzle started to fall together as the abandoned looking watermill came into view. As Severus drew closer, the water wheel had started turning, and the mill got the appearance back of an idyllic little house. The kingfisher landed in the ivy that adorned the entrance to the mill and waited for Severus and Paul to catch up.

'You're an Animagus,' said Severus as he looked up at the bird. 'You've been watching over us all this time, haven't you, Perenelle?'

The kingfisher let out a soft note and transformed into the woman Severus had met over the summer. 'It's good to see you again, Severus,' she said as she pulled him into a warm embrace. She looked a lot older than she had before. Clearly, the absence of the Philosopher's Stone was taking its toll on her, but the warmth she radiated remained unchanged. 'Please, come inside. Albus is here too.'

Severus took Paul in his arms and the scent of a rich stew filled his nostrils. He found Nicolas and Dumbledore on the couch in the living area, enjoying the comfort of a cackling fire and a cup of tea. 'How nice of you to join us, Severus,' said Dumbledore with his distinctive twinkle in his eye.

'I found him by that little pond not far from here,' said Perenelle. 'If you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I'm going to check and see if that stew is still edible.'

'Near the pond?' asked Nicolas as he gestured towards a place on the couch for Severus to sit. 'Do you find anything good in there?'

'I found some gillyweed,' said Severus. 'I've never used it before, but you never know when it might be useful. How have you been doing, Nicolas?'

'I have felt better,' he said. Like Perenelle, he had grown noticeably older now that they were no longer prolonging their life with the stone. 'Albus and I were just discussing the matters of my inevitable death. Who's your little friend?'

'This is Paul,' said Severus as he scratched Paul behind his ears. 'Lily gave him to me after my father died. She figured I could use the comfort of a creature that didn't feel the need to talk back about everything I needed to vent about.'

'What a lovely gift,' said Dumbledore.

'He is,' said Severus with a smile. 'Nicolas, how does it feel, knowing that the end is near?'

'How did it feel for you?' he asked in return. 'Knowing that your end was coming?'

'Frightening at first,' said Severus with a shrug. 'But once it was there, it felt rather peaceful. Like a stillness beneath the waves.'

'If that is the case, then I see no reason to fear the end,' said Nicolas with a smile. 'I can assure you, Perenelle and I are well prepared.'

'I'm glad to hear that,' said Severus genuinely. 'Is there any particular reason Perenelle brought me here?'

'There is,' said Dumbledore as he took a sip of his tea. 'Remember that dragon egg that got stolen during your trip to the Isle of Skye?'

Severus nodded. 'What about it?'

'We know that the egg has hatched,' said Dumbledore. 'The reason that we know that it has, is because I received a letter, written by none other than Newt Scamander himself, telling of his escape from the Death Eaters after they had held him prisoner with the intention of using him to train and raise the dragon. In the letter he also wrote that he has fled to the place where we had agreed he would go to in case of situations like these.'

'And what place would that be?' asked Severus.

'Nurmengard,' said Dumbledore. 'He's with Grindelwald.'

Severus's mouth nearly fell open in surprise. 'Nurmengard,' he sputtered. 'But why? How does he even know how to get there?'

'I knew we would meet again before you left the Burrow,' said Dumbledore, and handed Severus a note from his pocket. 'This is how you'll get there.'

Severus unfolded the note and skimmed through it. 'In the mountains of Austria,' he mumbled. 'I thought I had to be somewhere in Germany?'

'You do,' said Dumbledore. 'You have to pass through Germany in order to get there.'

'But why, exactly?' asked Severus. 'Wouldn't it be easier for me to pass through France?'

Dumbledore pointed at the note. 'It's very important, Severus, that you pass the Berlin Wall. The Wall does more than separating the West from the East. It also acts as a magical barrier. A barrier you must cross, or Nurmengard will not be visible to you.'

'And how do you propose I cross the border?'

'With a little use of your magic, and perhaps, with a little bit of luck. Don't underestimate the dangers of crossing a border you are not permitted to cross.'

'What will happen when I do?'

'Perhaps Erwin can fill you in on that,' said Dumbledore with a wink. 'It's a place where his war and our war has collided in history.'

'I got it,' said Severus as he folded up the note and shoved it in the pocket of his jeans.

'When will you leave?' asked Nicolas.

'When no one expects us to,' said Severus. 'I'm prepping mine and Erwin's motorbike to the best of my abilities against the winter conditions. I'm teaching Lily how to ride them, so she can take Erwin's bike once we decide that it is time.'

'Lunch is served, gentlemen,' said Perenelle as she walked into the living room. 'Please, join me in the kitchen.'

All three of the men got up off the couch and followed Perenelle into the kitchen. The memory of her mushroom soup came flooding back to Severus, and the conversation he had had with her regarding the power of choices put a smile on his face as he sat down at the table. 'I love this place,' he said as Perenelle handed him a bowl of stew. 'I have considered Hogwarts my home for many years, but here – I just feel safe.'

'And that, 'Severus,' said Nicolas as he looked up at his wife in the same way Severus had seen Erwin looking at Arnica, 'is why we chose this place to be our last.'


	209. The Start of a Long Journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Smut!

After his return to the Burrow, Severus had told Lily about his unexpected meeting at the Flamel's and showed her the note that Dumbledore had handed to him. A conversation around the kitchen table with Erwin and Arnica had come, followed by a sound of advice and a stream of tears. The reality of Severus and Lily leaving soon was hitting hard on them, as was to be expected.

Aside from the journey that was about to come, the news that the Dark Lord was trying to tame a dragon was troublesome to say the least. Severus couldn't recall a moment in history when a dragon had ever truly been tamed, but the Dark Lord's determination hadn't stopped him from ever achieving his goals before and therefore the situation was to be taken seriously. The very thought of encountering a dragon on a battlefield sent shivers down his spine, so when it came to understanding the mind and power of a Hebridean Black dragon, he had turned to Charlie for some solid advice. 'They don't really have a weak spot except for their eyes,' Charlie had said. 'Suppose there's always a way to keep them from breathing fire; or just figure out a way to cover them up with a blanket or something so they don't fly off.' Pleased with Charlie's answer, the seed of a plan had been planted somewhere in the back of his mind with enough room to grow. If the time ever came where he would come face to face with a dragon, he may just know what to do.

…

'Sev,' Lily whispered from the other side of the door. 'Sev, are you still awake?'

Severus had been lying in bed, his mind swirling with questions on everything that was yet to come. 'Yes,' he whispered back, welcoming the distraction she offered, and the door swung open.

He could barely see her in the dark. By the sound of her footsteps he could tell she was hoovering over him and felt the gentle caress of her fingers as they moved through his hair. 'I want to leave tonight,' she whispered into his ear.

'But it's your birthday,' he whispered back. Her fingers were travelling down to his neck, and he knew where this was going.

'That's exactly why I want to leave,' she said as she crawled under the blankets with him.

'But I still wanted to get you a guitar,' he said as he wrapped his arms around her and drew in her musky scent. 'We haven't been able to make music together since we left Hogwarts.'

Lily placed a finger on his lips and kissed his forehead. 'I want to leave tonight,' she repeated. 'I don't wish to celebrate my birthday. I'll be too hard for me to leave if I do.'

Goosebumps formed on his skin as she ran her nails across his back. A sweet sensation started to rush through his veins, causing his breath to turn shallow. 'Lay down on your back,' he ordered. His desire to consume her from the inside out grew exponentially larger with each moment she touched him. She obliged, exposing her neck for him to kiss. Severus hastily tossed off his shirt and climbed on top of her. His fingers clasped firmly into hers as he pushed her down into the matrass.

The questions that had clouded his mind had started to drip away in the form of sweat on his forehead. Lily had wrapped her legs around him, moaning softly from pleasure as he thrusted his way in and out of her. He wanted it to go on forever. From the little bites in his neck to her breasts bobbling up and down as she moved along with him. His hair had formed a curtain around them, secluding them entirely from the world to a place that belonged to them and them alone.

It was more than just sex. That much was clear. It marked the beginning of a dangerous journey ahead and the last of the comfort and safety that living at the Burrow had given them. Lily had tangled her fingers in his hair and kissed him as she started to shiver in ecstasy as she came. Severus could feel her growing tighter around him. He tried his hardest to prolong the sensation of simply being in her, but nature took over, releasing all tension from his body in powerful waves. He rested his forehead against hers until his body relaxed. Carefully, he pushed himself up to his knees and kissed her belly that was now filled with his seed. 'Sev,' said Lily as she cupped his head into her hands. 'Before we leave, just lay with me for a little while. I want to remember this – all of this – before we go out and face the cold.'

…

Lily had already packed most of their belongings by the time they had made their way downstairs. The first light of the day had started to peek through the trees and lit up the grounds around the Burrow in a golden hue. They attached their bags to the motorbikes and rolled them quietly down through the clearing where they reached the road that led east. Through the canopy of trees, they saw a light being switched on in the house. It was the room Erwin and Arnica stayed in, undoubtedly making their way upstairs in the hope to surprise Lily for her birthday.

'We better go,' said Severus as he saw Lily tearing up at the sight of it.

Lily nodded with a look of determination on her face and hastily wiped a tear from her eye. 'Which way are we heading?'

'Dover first,' said Severus as he attempted to kickstart his bike. 'From there we'll have to find a ferry of some sort to take us to Dunkirk.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we found a way directly to The Netherlands?' asked Lily. 'It feels like a detour if we need to travel to Dunkirk first.'

'There are no ferries leaving directly from London,' said Severus. 'I've thought about using Portkeys, but since they are strictly monitored by the government it would be wiser not to. We'd have to travel all the way up to Hull if we wanted to take a direct ferry to The Netherlands. I may be wrong, of course, but I think the ferry to Dunkirk might actually be our quickest option to leave the country.'

'I hear you,' said Lily, and managed to kickstart her bike in one go. 'We better get going before they find us out here.'

…

It had taken them over eight hours to reach the Port of Dover. Hungry and chilled to the bone, they had found a small Bed and Breakfast where they would spend the night before taking the first ferry to Dunkirk. They spend most of their evening up in their room lying in bed, chatting about nothing in particular to put their minds at ease.

They took the first ferry in the morning. They found there was no snow in Dunkirk, but the cold wind coming from the North Sea didn't turn their ride up to Belgium any more comfortable. They camped out in a field not far from a small city called Tilburg in The Netherlands, just across the Belgian border.

They passed Arnhem. The small city they had visited briefly before during their family holiday. They had stopped at a small bar named Café Meijers and chatted with two artists who had introduced themselves as Herman and Anton. Herman had told them stories about his musical group that he had founded the previous year and called it the Herman Brood and His Wild Romance. The liquor flowed and many cigarettes were lit in the crowded place. Normally, a crowd this big in such a small place would've pushed Severus over the edge, but the anonymity that this Muggle bar provided gave him a rare feeling of protection.

'Where are you two youngsters from, anyway?' asked Anton as he shoved two beers and a pack of cigarettes in their hands.

'A small city called Cokeworth,' Lily had answered.

'Never heard of,' Anton replied. 'You two look like you still belong in school.'

'The world will teach important lessons that no school can provide,' said Herman, has speech already slurring from the alcohol. 'Care you join me at the piano, young lady?'

Lily had taken a liking in the two men that were providing them with beer and entertainment, and happily followed Herman as he ushered her to the piano. From the barstool across the room and with a beer and a cigarette in hand, Severus took a good look at Lily as she leaned against the piano. A shadow had cast over her eyes from sheer exhaustion, but the yellow light that lit up the bar made her red curls form a halo around her face. He noticed Herman whispering something in her ear, causing her to blush but nodded in agreement nonetheless. Herman started to play a tone, somewhat sloppily, on the piano that Severus recognised as My Way by Frank Sinatra. 'This song is for my new English friends!' Herman shouted out through the microphone. The people in the bar raised their glasses as Lily sang along with Herman, causing Severus to snort and feeling somewhat grateful that Lily had chosen to play the guitar instead of singing lessons during their first year at Hogwarts. Not that it mattered much that Lily wasn't a naturally talented singer. The whole bar joined in after the second verse. _'Regrets, I've had a few…but then again, too few to mention_!'

Anton and Herman had arranged with the bartender that Severus and Lily could sleep on the couch upstairs. Anton had helped carry up all their belongings, and Herman had assured them that their motorbikes would be safe, giving Severus a vibe that the two men had friends in places he would rather not go.

After sharing their gratitude and goodbyes, Severus and Lily huddled up on the couch until they had found a comfortable position to sleep in. Both slightly buzzed from the alcohol, they watched snow gently whirling down and melt as it touched the ground. 'This isn't so bad,' Lily whispered.

'The worst is yet to come,' Severus whispered back, and planted kisses in her neck that caused the hairs on her arms to stand up.

'What will you say to Grindelwald, when you meet him?' Lily asked while following a snowflake sliding down the window.

'I'd rather not say anything at all.'

'How come?'

'Because I want him to speak first. There's a lot that you can learn about a man, if you listen to his words, and watch his movements, in silence.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Herman Brood and Anton Corbijn are two Dutch legends and friends. Brood was a (rather drug infused) musician, painter and poet, until he committed suicide in 2001 by jumping off the Hilton hotel in Amsterdam leaving behind a note stating just a few words; "Party on. I'll be seeing you." On the day of his funeral he was driven along important places in his life, including Paradiso. The place where Severus and Lily went to see AC/DC (chapter 170). Corbijn is a famous photographer (known for his grainy black and white portraits) and film director till this day and worked with bands such as Depeche Mode, U2, Nick Cave, David Bowie and Keith Richards (just to name a few). Café Meijers still exists till this day and the interior has barely changed since the 70s. Brood was a frequent customer back in the day. Whether Corbijn had been with him during that time, is unknown.  
> A/N "My Way" by Frank Sinatra came out in 1968. Herman Brood did record a cover of the song near the end of his life. You can find it on youtube.


	210. The Long Road to the Berlin Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Though I try my best to use as many historical facts as possible, sometimes it's hard to be accurate. History is written through the eyes of conquerors after all. I'm sorry in advance if you read anything that you may have been taught about in a different way.  
> Also, sorry not sorry for the tiny non-canon crossover.

Happy to see all the snow from the previous night had melted, Severus and Lily left Café Meijers behind at the crack of dawn. Their bikes were still parked in front of the café's window, unscratched and untouched, just as Herman had promised.

They rode though a national park called The Hoge Veluwe as they made their way to a town called Apeldoorn. They took a short break from time to time the soak in the beautiful surrounding they had encountered, and frequently spotted a herd of deer hiding among the trees. By the time they had reached Apeldoorn, they passed a beautiful palace which Severus had recognised from a picture from his old history books, and told Lily some stories that rose to the surface of his mind about the relationships between the English and the Dutch crown, and how both nations had affected each other through their royal marriages.

Wanting to avoid the main roads as much as possible, they camped out in park Bargerveen, only minutes away from the German border. Though the magic tent that Arthur had provided for them was a decent one, the chilling wind still found its way creeping through, leaving them shivering in their bed beneath the blankets.

Riding into Germany had been proven to be easier than expected. The hills provided a welcoming change to the scenery opposed to the flatness of the Dutch countryside. It took them several days to reach the Helmstedt-Marienborn checkpoint that divided the west from the east. It hadn't come as a surprise that the guards had wanted to question them on their motives for travelling into eastern Germany. Two British teenagers riding motorbikes across Europe in the dead of winter was bound to raise some suspicion, after all. Severus had contemplated, very briefly, to come up with some sort of excuse of them having a rebellious tour around Europe, until deciding that Confunding the guards was a much easier option. 'Bitte fahren Sie fort,' one of the guards mumbled while staring drunkenly at nothing in particular.

Pleased at how easy it had been to pass the first checkpoint, they had stopped in the Altstadt of Magdeburg to spend the night at a cheap hotel, ready to rinse off the cold and the dirt from spending several nights in a musky tent.

Severus tried to getting Lily aroused as they were laying in bed, but Lily wasn't feeling it. Over the past couple of days her energy had slowly started to seep out of her, as if she was slowly getting sick by an unknown illness. 'How many more days till Berlin?' she asked weakly as she was resting her head on Severus's shoulder.

'Two, give or take,' Severus replied. 'Depending on the amount of times we'll have to stop along the way. Also depending on how you're feeling tomorrow, it seems.'

'Probably just a flu,' said Lily, but the shivers running down her spine betrayed that it was anything but a regular flu.

'We could stay for a little longer here in Magdeburg. We don't need—'

'—I'm sorry, Sev,' Lily interrupted him, 'but I don't think we should linger around for too long. 'For all we know, Death Eaters could be following our trail, and we need to find Grindelwald and Mister Scamander – sooner rather than later.'

'The last thing we need is for you to fall from your bike,' said Severus sternly. 'At least take a Pepper-Up Potion before we leave – there should be one in the box.'

'I will,' said Lily, waving it off. 'I really wish to go to sleep, if you don't mind.'

Before Severus was able to respond, Lily had closed her eyes and fell into a deep slumber. He gently combed his fingers through her hair, wondering why she had suddenly started to fall ill, and hoped it was nothing more than a temporary thing.

…

Lily, though clearly still sick, was determined to make it to Berlin as quick as possible. Being from an allied country, it had been just as easy to pass through the American Sector of Berlin as it had been when they passed through Checkpoint Alpha to gain passage to the East.

Many American military men (and to Severus's slight annoyance) were turning their heads and whistling at Lily as they passed them on the streets. Its not every day, after all, that they get to see a young girl on an old military bike ride by.

Figuring they needed their rest, they parked their bikes in front of a rather dull and brown looking pub and found nothing but drunk infantrymen playing games and humming along to the intro tune of _Thunderbirds_. They found an empty table near the window and found a group of men had formed around their bikes to take a closer look, causing Lily to giggle.

'Do you remember watching Thunderbirds on the telly, Sev?' Lily asked as she turned her gaze at the group of men that were now adding the trumpets to the tune.

'I remember Erwin loving it just a tad more than we did,' said Severus with a grin. 'I also recall telling you about Ilvermorny, in relation to that.'

Lily nodded in acknowledgement. 'That Thunderbird is one of Ilvermorny's houses. The house of the soul, if I recall correctly.'

'Here's your coffee sir, ma'am,' said a blond and rather handsome looking American soldier.

'Thank you, sir,' Lily sputtered as she welcomed the hot coffee into her hands, 'but I don't think we ordered –'

'—It's not every day you hear people speak about Ilvermorny,' said the soldier nonchalantly, and grabbed a chair to join them at the table. 'Care to share where you two came from?'

Severus eyed the soldier with suspicion. 'What is it you know about Ilvermorny?' he asked.

'Very little,' said the soldier with a shrug, 'other than the fact that it exists. I'm a No-Maj, as some of my friends would say.'

Lily brought her voice down to a whisper. 'Doesn't that break the Statute of Secrecy?' she asked, and made it clear she was interested in learning more.

'I suppose it does,' said the soldier as he took a sip of his own coffee. 'But what the Magical Congress doesn't know won't hurt us. So - again, care to explain what two young British teenagers are up to in this part of Berlin?'

Though appearing friendly, the soldier clearly wasn't beating around the bush. 'We're here to find a way into the East-side of Berlin,' said Severus stiffly. 'Any chance you could help us?'

The soldier leaned back in his chair. 'It's a lot easier heading East opposed to heading West,' he said. 'For people like me, I mean. Not entirely sure how it is for people of your kind. Heard stories from friends that they'd rather not cross.'

'Excuse me,' said Lily suddenly as she jumped up from the table, and ran her way up to the bathroom.

Before Severus was able to run after her, the soldier pushed him back into a seat with a surprising amount of strength. 'Care to tell me why you're dragging her across the border?' he asked, his voice growing dark.

'Because we were ordered to do so,' Severus spat back as he tried to brush the soldier's hand of his shoulder, but the soldier remained unmoved.

'Care to tell me what's wrong with her?'

'She's caught a bug,' said Severus, growing more annoyed by the second. 'Now could you – _please_ , release me from your grip so I can look after her?'

'Wouldn't whip out your wand in here if I were you,' the soldier whispered as his eyes followed Severus's hand into the inner pocket of his leather jacket. 'Now – again, why did you bring her here?'

'Because she wanted to,' Severus gritted through his teeth. 'We _have_ to make our way through here before we can continue our journey to Austria. Now, are you able to help us – _or not_?'

The soldier's eyes shifted and swallowed at the mention of Austria, and released Severus from his grip. Severus didn't need to run after Lily anymore, as she had just returned from the bathroom. 'Is everything okay? Lily asked as she sat back down.

'I was just telling your friend he reminds me a bit of my old friend Barnes,' said the soldier as he exposed a wide smile decorated with perfectly straight white teeth, and patted Severus on the shoulder. 'Are you feeling alright, ma'am?'

'A lot better, actually,' said Lily with a smile. 'Had the flu for a couple of days, and it appears my stomach doesn't want to agree with me either.'

'Mister No-Maj here was just about to tell us how to get through Checkpoint Charlie,' said Severus with a hint of bitterness.

'Oh really?' said Lily, her eyes gleaming.

'I didn't,' said the soldier as he dismissed the bait that Severus had imposed on him. 'Only luck is going to safe you on the other side. Whoever is responsible for sending you out this way, I suggest having a word with them.'

Lily's eyes shifted from the soldier to Severus, who made clear with a squint of his eyes that it was her turn to speak, and shifted back to the soldier. 'My father's a veteran,' said Lily as she straightened her back. He's seen a lot of good men die. British men, American men, Canadian men – and also German men. He lived to tell the tale. The war may be over, but the war within him never left.'

The soldier nodded in understanding. 'I was there, too,' he said, and looked at her motorbike through the window. 'That was your father's, I presume?'

'It was,' Lily confirmed. 'The thing is, sir, the war, for us – _in our world_ , is only just beginning. I understand your concerns, and I respect them deeply, but for us to find our way into Austria is more than just an order. Many things – and lives, may very well depend on it. So please – if you will, we could really use your help.'

Silence fell over the table and it took a moment for the soldier to collect his thoughts together. 'Alright,' he said eventually. 'What is it you need from me?'

'A place to stay for the night, for now,' said Lily. 'I wish to cross the border before sunrise. If you could join us and help us cross, it would mean a great deal to me.'

'Why not use magic?' the soldier asked. 'Surely it must be easy to have people look the other way.'

'There are too many people around to Confu – have look the other way,' said Lily. 'We already draw enough attention to ourselves simply by the way we look.'

The soldier turned his gaze towards Severus's Deep Purple band shirt, and nodded in agreement. 'Wear something a little less noticeable tomorrow. I'm going to regroup the rest with my platoon to see if I can find a place for the two of you to stay.' With a polite nod in Lily's direction, he stood up and joined the men that were still humming loudly to popular show tunes.

'Flirting with older men now, are we?' said Severus with a scoff, but was unable to hide a smile nonetheless.

'Then I suppose it is a good thing you are secretly much older than you look,' Lily answered with a grin.

'How you are feeling, Lily?' Severus asked in a more serious manner.

'I've been better,' said Lily, 'but please, let us focus on passing the border – for now.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Please google 'De Hoge Veluwe' and you'll see that Holland has more to offer than fields of tulips. Paleis het Loo roughly translates to 'Palace of the Forest' ('Loo' [pronounced: lowe] is a historical Dutch word for 'forest') and housed queen Mary II of England while she was married to William III (better known as William of Orange). They became king and queen regnant (regnant meaning that Mary was able to reign in her own right, opposed a queen consort) after the Glorious Revolution and adopted the English Bill of Rights.
> 
> A/N The Helmstedt-Marienborn checkpoint was one of the three checkpoints used by the Western allies and was labelled Checkpoint Alpha. The checkpoint into West Berlin is called Checkpoint Bravo (which was shifted in 1969 from Drewitz to Nikolassee) and the Allied checkpoint to enter and exit East Berlin was called Checkpoint Charlie.  
> A/N 'Bitte fahren Sie fort.' = 'Please continue.'  
> A/N Thunderbirds was/is a very popular British tv series produced between 1964-1966.


	211. The Battle in Front of the Wall

The soldier had formally introduced himself as Sergeant Rogers, and had arranged for Severus and Lily to spend the night amongst the other privates in the barracks. It was a strange sight to behold, lying between over a dozen soldiers on uncomfortable military beds. Sergeant Rogers had promised he would wake them up before dawn and ride out to the border between East and West.

A single oil lantern was burning at the end of the barrack's hall. Severus could see the outlining of Lily's face reflected in the flickering flames. Her soft snoring betrayed that she was sound asleep. He looked at her for a while, wondering – and with a hint of worry – wat was causing her health to decline. The Pepper-Up Potion she had taken in the morning hadn't worked in the way it normally should. Figuring there was very little he could do unless she told him there was something to be worried about, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to rest before everything that was yet to come.

…

Both Severus and Lily were given old military clothes to wear. The stiffness of the uniforms felt foreign to the touch. Severus looked at himself in the mirror, feeling he had never felt so dissociated from himself before as he did in this very moment.

'You should probably cut of your hair,' said Sergeant Rogers as he took notice of Severus staring at himself. 'It's not going to look very convincing if you got a curtain of hair flying around your face.'

Severus's mouth fell open in surprise, and Lily, who's hair was pulled back into a neatly tight bun, clasped her hand in front of her mouth to prevent herself from bursting out into a fit of laughter.

' _Never_ ,' Severus spat back.

Sergeant Rogers merely shrugged at Severus's remark. 'I've seen British privates looking a lot worse. Just do me a favor and tie it up. Last thing we need is a Staff Sergeant yelling that you're out of regs. You take your own motorcycle. I'll take miss Evan's ride and have her hop on the back.'

With a scoff and a growl, Severus reluctantly followed Lily and Sergeant Rogers outside the barracks. The cold morning air pulled them out of their sleepy state. Within half an hour, they had made it to Checkpoint Charlie. Even this early in the day, both civilian and military vehicles were crossing the border on each side.

Several meters before the barrier, Severus signalled to Sergeant Rogers to come to a halt. 'It's too easy,' he said.

'Would you rather have wanted it to be difficult?' Sergeant Rogers answered with a tilted eye. 'The first step is always easiest. It's the steps that follow that make it hard.'

Severus nodded in understanding turned his gaze towards the white sign that read; " _you are leaving the American sector,"_ followed by their Russian, French and German translations. He parked his bike on the side of the road and kicked down the kickstand. Severus and Lily followed Sergeant Rogers as he walked up to the little white house with a sign on top that read " _Allied check point_."

'Good morning Sergeant,' said the Corporal through the open window of the little house. 'Anything I can help you with?'

'I got two young privates with me who've never been across the border,' said Sergeant Rogers as he nodded at Severus and Lily behind him.

The private looked over the Sergeant's shoulder, frowned, and shook his head in disproval. 'We're you planning on shaking them up with the aftermath of war, sir? They look like they need it.'

'They sure do,' said Sergeant Rogers with a nod. 'We'll need clearance for the day. Can you arrange that for me?'

'What are their names, sir?'

Sergeant Rogers shot a quick glance in Severus and Lily's direction, read their fake nametags and turned back. 'private Linda Enderson and private Salvador Sanchez.'

The Corporal sighed and mumbled something along the lines of _damn Mexican ponytails_ under his breath. He proceeded to scribble something down onto a piece of paper and handed it over to Sergeant Rogers. 'Sign this waiver, and make sure they have them back before chow is served.'

After the waiver had been signed, they returned to their motorbikes and proceeded to cross the border after the barrier had been lifted. 'We're in Soviet territory now,' Sergeant Rogers yelled over the roaring sound of the engines. 'I'm going to stop right in front of the Oberbaum bridge by the river Spree. From that point on, you're on your own.'

They had reached the bridge within several minutes. 'What are you looking at, Severus?' Lily asked as she stepped off her bike.

Severus was looking around sceptically. 'It's not supposed to be this easy,' he said while looking across the river.

'I better walk my way back to the barracks,' said Sergeant Rogers. 'Remember what I said. If, for whatever reason, you need to run back, you come and find me.'

'We will,' said Lily. 'Thank you for all your help. We better get going.'

As Lily started to fuss over her motorbike, Sergeant Rogers pulled Severus aside and looked him straight in the eye. 'You better look after her every step of the way, or things are not going to look pretty for you. Understood?'

Severus squinted his eyes. 'What is it you know that _I don't know_?' he gritted through his teeth. For a moment he contemplated using Legilimency on him, but Lily's voice caused him to lose his focus. 'Looks like it's going to rain soon,' she said. 'We better keep going, Sev.'

'Thank you for all your help,' said Severus stiffly as he shook Sergeant Rogers's hand, and squeezed it a little too hard. 'We better keep going.'

They watched Sergeant Rogers walk his way back until he disappeared behind the bend on Skalitzer street.

'Can you feel that?' Lily asked as she faced the bridge.

'Feel what?'

'There's something in the air,' said Lily. 'I don't think these are ordinary rainclouds.'

The hairs on Severus's arms started to rise. The tingling sensation of electricity was filling the air.

'Do you think it could be a thunderstorm, Sev?'

The wind had started to turn and grow colder. 'It doesn't feel like an ordinary thunderstorm,' said Severus. 'There's magic involved. I can feel it.'

'Then we better keep moving and cross the bridge,' said Lily as she kickstarted her bike.

Severus followed her closely behind. The moment they had entered the tunnel, the sound of thunder rumbled above them, causing the bridge to shake in its foundations. Within seconds, large flashes of lightening filled the sky and crashed down onto the river.

It took a moment for Severus to realise what was happening until it struck him. 'LILY!' he yelled. 'LILY IT'S NOT A THUNDERSTORM! THEY'RE BOMBS!'

Lily slammed down on her brakes and looked around horror-struck at each side of the river. Flares of light started to rain down around them and crashed into the river with a loud bang. Dust and debris started to crumble down from the ceiling of the tunnel, missing them by inches.

'Protego Totalum!' Severus yelled as he whipped out his wand. A small near invisible dome cast over him and Lily, causing the debris to bounce of to the sides.

'Is this real or is this magic?' Lily asked, her voice trembling with fear.

'Is has to be magic,' Severus answered. 'I think we should –'

The sound of a cannon blasting into the foundation of the bridge disrupted Severus's answer. 'We're fighting magic with magic here Lily! We need to make it to the other side and across the wall – AND FAST!'

The magical dome started to crumble down as soon as they hopped back on their bikes. They were halfway down the tunnel when bullets started to fly around them. 'Protego!' Lily yelled as she pointed her wand in front of her, but the bullets easily managed to penetrate her magical shield as if it were made out of paper.

Severus was ready to cast another shield charm when suddenly a burning hot sensation pierced its way into his shoulder. Blinded by the sudden pain, Severus lost control of his motorbike and crashed down sliding onto the ground.

'Sev!' Lily shrieked out in terror. She slammed down on her brakes again and rushed her way up to Severus, who was now lying on the ground clutching his shoulder in pain.

'FELIX!' Severus yelled with all the energy he could muster.

The wind and rain started to gush in through the tunnel, causing everything to grow soaking wet. Lily hastily searched for the bottle of Felix Felicis inside her bags. Within a matter of seconds she had found it, along with a phial of dittany, and dropped to her knees. Severus could feel the golden liquid dripping down his throat as she forced him to drink half of the phial.

'A bullet has gone straight through your shoulder,' said Lily after she had drunk the remaining Felix Felicis and tossed the phial aside. She uncorked the dittany and started rubbing the content onto Severus's shoulder, leaving her hands bloody in the process.

The burning sensation started to subdue until nothing but a stiff feeling in his shoulder was left, and the Felix started to kick in. 'We can make it to the end,' said Severus as he jumped up. 'We better keep going!'

Despite the fall, Severus's bike had remained unscratched. Hastily they sped their way across the bridge, slaloming around the cracks and holes in the road with an ease only the Felix Felicis could be responsible for.

Near the end of the bridge a dozen old German war tanks blocked the exit. Their turrets started to turn until they pointed directly at Severus and Lily speeding up towards them, ready to fire once they came in close range.

Severus and Lily raised their wands in unison. 'BOMBARDA MAXIMA!' they cried out. Two streams of white light sprouted out of their wands, blasting the tanks up in the air until they crashed down into the river.

'Almost there!' Lily cried out. In the distance they could see that they were approaching the Berlin Wall. A couple of Soviet soldiers were stationed around it, clearly not taking any notice of the warzone that the bridge had turned in to.

'MOVE!' Severus yelled towards the soldiers.

Horrified by the sight of two motorbikes racing up towards them, the soldiers screamed and scattered out of the way, expecting the bikes to collide into the Wall at full speed.

'Wingardium Leviosa!' Lily chanted as she pointed her wand at Severus's bike. Severus responded by casting the same spell voicelessly. The odd sensation of being suspended in air rose up in his stomach as his bike flew up higher and higher until they were high enough to fly over the Wall. 'Spongify!' said Lily as she pointed her wand at the road behind the Wall. Their bikes descended until they bounced softly onto the ground and came to an abrupt halt.

'We made it!' said Lily, panting heavily. 'Bloody hell we made –' Before she was able to finish her sentence, she started to throw up violently onto the ground.

Severus jumped off his bike, still shaking violently from the adrenaline rush, and held up her hair without caring that onlookers had started to form a circle around them.

As Lily continued to spit out bits of her breakfast, Severus turned around to look at the bridge. There were no more bombs falling, bullets flying or tanks blocking the exit. There were no more cracks to find in its foundation, nor any holes in its arches. It appeared as if the entire bridge had restored itself to its original state the moment they had managed to cross it.

'Вам нужна помощь, сэр?' said a Soviet soldier, but Severus couldn't make out what he was trying to say. He wondered how it was possible that a historical memory of the Muggle war was persevered inside a bridge to the point where it felt real. A little too real, evident by the bullet that had penetrated through his shoulder.

Wanting to make use of the remnants of the Felix Felicis that was still coursing through his veins, Severus felt that the Soviet soldier didn't have any ill intentions and summoned him with a wave of his hand to help keep Lily standing on her feet, and walk away from the crowd surrounding them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N "Out of rags" is military slang for (usually) a private that doesn't conform to military standards (and ends up getting hazed about it).  
> A/N Checkpoint Charlie is not where the wall was located, but rather a little further into the Soviet territory across the Oberbaum bridge.  
> A/N Вам нужна помощь, сэр? = Do you need help, sir?


	212. The Border Between Germany and Austria

As much as the Felix Felicis had saved their lives on the bridge, it hadn't saved most of their belongings. Severus was banging himself up over the fact that he had left Dumbledore's note inside the pocket of his denim. The instructions on how to find Grindelwald had gotten soaked to the point where the piece of parchment had turned into pulp, rendering it useless.

Most of the Soviet soldiers only spoke in broken English, but Severus still managed to arrange for him and Lily to have a place to stay while Lily needed to recover. At first, Severus figured Lily had to throw up from all the tension built up from crossing the bridge and just needed a quick rest, but her illness lasted for several more days.

It took more than a week before Lily felt good enough to travel again, only to stumble into the next problem of not knowing where to go by the time they would reach Austria. Eventually they came to the agreement that their main priority was reaching Austria before dealing with the stress of where they needed to be in Austria.

For the first time since the start of the journey, they started travelling their way down south. Due to Lily's poor state of health it was better to traveller short distances. They spent the night at a hostel in Leipzig and another night in a small town called Münchberg before they made it to Nurmenberg. They found a cheap hostel to stay in with a view on the Imperial Castle. 'This is a beautiful city,' said Lily as she looked up at the lights coming from the castle through the window of their room.

'It is,' Severus agreed. 'Lily – I know you don't appreciate it when I bring it up. But –'

'—I'm fine, Sev,' Lily snapped before Severus was able to finish his sentence. 'I'm stressed out from this journey. I feel like I'm losing weight and to be frank with you – I just really miss home.'

Lily turned around and rested her head on his chest. 'I'm sorry, Sev,' she whimpered as tears started to stream down her face. 'I thought I would be able to handle this journey, but since we crossed that bridge, I'm starting to have some doubts about it. We've been travelling for nearly a month, and we haven't even made it out of Germany yet – and it's all because the stress is starting to take its toll on me. I –'

'—It's okay,' said Severus softly, and combed his fingers through her hair in an attempt to calm her down.

'No – it's not okay, Sev,' said Lily as she looked up at him. 'We don't know where we're going. We don't even know if we'll be able to find Grindelwald at this point, and we have no way of knowing if the war at home is progressing – if it's even progressing at all. We don't know if our family's still safe at the Burrow, and we don't –'

'—Lily, stop,' said Severus. 'At this point we can't afford to return home anymore. We have to find Grindelwald, on dumbledore's or—'

Severus stopped talking the moment he noticed lily's eyes turning to slits. 'Why couldn't Dumbledore get Grindelwald himself, eh?' Lily said sourly. 'He knows the way to Nurmengard. Why did he need to send you in the first place?'

'I know you are familiar with the history between Dumbledore and Grindelwald,' said Severus. 'He told us when we were in his office, remember?'

'I do remember,' said Lily, still sounding a bit bitter. 'It just seems like he's too afraid to do it himself.'

'It isn't, Lily,' said Severus carefully, 'please understand that it's not fear that's keeping Dumbledore away.'

'Then what is?'

'I think it's love.'

…

As much as Severus hated to admit it, Lily had been right about a few things. They no longer knew how to make their way to Nurmengard, which made them hesitant about their journey towards the border between Germany and Austria, and the desire to find Grindelwald as quickly as possible started to subdue.

The first full moon in March had passed by the time they had reached Munich and continued their way to Rosenheim. Spring was around the corner, and they camped out in the woods by the Chiemsee, contemplating on what to do next now that they were roughly an hour's ride away from the border of Austria.

After a week of contemplating on forming a plan, they agreed on travelling to Salzburg and continue their journey to Vienna in the hope of finding a wizarding community hidden within the city.

They passed the birthplace of Mozart and the Hohensalzburg fortress after spending the night in Salzburg. It took yet another week to reach Vienna, passing many small idyllic villages and clear blue lakes along the way.

Once they had reached Vienna, all that was left to do was find a cheap hotel to stay in and hope to encounter a witch or wizard by sheer dumb luck. Luck which they, unfortunately, had run out of after the crossing of the Oberbaum bridge.

'Nobody wearing green and purple,' said Lily bitterly as they were roaming mindlessly on the streets of the inner city. 'nobody's ever heard of the name Grindelwald before. Even got _bloody_ laughed at by some Swiss lady thinking we accidentally travelled to the wrong _bloody_ country. Sev – Sev, where are you taking me?'

Severus had taken a hold of Lily's hand and decided to steer her into another direction. 'To the National Library,' he said. 'We can't seem to detect any magic out on the streets, but perhaps we can find it amongst the shelves.'

The library at Hogwarts appeared tiny in comparison to the Austrian National Library. The classic baroque style adorned the long halls and high ceilings. Marble statues of famous Austrian composers and philosophers were scattered throughout the halls, as well as the well-known Viennese globes of the earth.

Hiding their wands inside their sleeves, they casted Homenum Revelio charms on anything that could potentially contain magical properties. It wasn't until they had walked into a section on ancient architecture, that Lily's wand suddenly started to vibrate. It wasn't a magical book that her wand had traced, but rather, a person.

A middle-aged and rather eccentric looking man was leafing through an old book with an unreadable title, and looked up when he noticed Severus and Lily approaching him.

'Hello, sir,' said Lily politely. 'Do you speak English?'

'Well yes, my dear,' the man answered politely. 'Is there anything I can help you with?'

Lily lowered her voice down to a whisper. 'Do you happen to be magical, sir?'

A wide smile appeared on the man's face and nodded in confirmation. 'More of a squib than anything else,' he chuckled. 'How did you know?'

'By casting a spell on you,' said Lily as her cheeks started to flush. 'I'm sorry about that. We've been looking for a magical community here in Vienna for days, and so far we haven't had any luck.'

The smile quickly wiped off the man's face. 'I'm afraid you're not going to find that many,' he said, lowering his voice. Most wizards have fled the country during or after the first wizarding war.'

'What caused them to leave?' asked Severus.

'Haven't you been paying attention during your history lessons?' the man asked, growing impatient. 'Terrible things have happened here. It wasn't the war itself that drove them out of this country. It's shame. Too ashamed of facing the horrors they had inflicted on innocent Muggles, all in the name of the Greater Good.'

'That's why we're here, sir,' said Severus. 'We're here to find Grindelwald.'

There was nothing left of the friendliness that the man had greeted them with. 'I deem it wise for you to turn around and leave,' he said darkly. 'Grindelwald is locked inside the tower of his own castle – and there he shall remain until the end of his days.'

'Sir, I don't think you understand,' said Lily in a desperate attempt to save the conversation. 'We have to find Grindelwald. We're here on Albus Dumbledore's direct orders.'

'I'm afraid I can't help you,' said the man, the fear prominent in his voice. 'Nurmengard should remain hidden, and Grindelwald shouldn't be found.' Without a hint or warning, the man pushed his way through Severus and Lily and started walking towards the exit.

With a squint of his eyes, Severus entered the man's mind and prodded around until he arrived at the memories of the man's youth. He saw how the man's parents were using magic in their home while he was working on his Muggle homework with an ordinary fountain pen. He saw how there were whispers about Grindelwald behind closed doors, where he was not allowed to partake in. He saw his magical friends carrying all their belongings, ready to leave the country on a ship by a lake. He saw headlines of magical newspapers delivering news on the capture and imprisonment of Grindelwald, but nothing that revealed the location of Nurmengard. 'Fuck,' Severus mumbled to himself as the man turned around the corner, and lost the connection with the man's mind.

'Did you see anything?' asked Lily.

'Nothing that held any significate to Nurmengard's location,' Severus huffed. 'Let's get out of here. I could really use some coffee by now.'

…

Spring had officially arrived. They had travelled aimlessly around the country in a desperate attempt to find anything that could potentially be linked to Grindelwald's whereabouts, and spent most of their days camping out in the mountains.

Lily's health was no longer declining, but she wasn't feeling any better either. She was easily frustrated and quickly angered by the most minor of inconveniences, which caused Severus to feel like he was walking on eggshells in here mere presence. There we some days she wouldn't even speak at all, and Severus caught her staring across the valleys at nothing in particular, as if she were deeply lost in thought.

By the time April had turned into May, Severus gave in on the promise he had made to Lily to never prod inside her mind, and tried to look for what it was that was keeping her mind occupied. Unfortunately, Lily had raised her Occlumency shield up high, as if she already expected Severus would break his promise in a desperate attempt to figure out what was wrong with her.

She was keeping secrets. Severus understood that much.

'What day is it?' Severus asked in an attempt to light the mood.

'The second of May,' Lily growled back. She had kept herself occupied by rearranging the food supplies in the kitchen cabinet that came with the magical tent and paced around in the hope of finding more things to do.

Severus was already lying in bed, and petted the empty space beside him in the hope that she would stop pacing around. 'Today is the day that I died,' he said with a grin. 'Back in nineteen ninety-eight.'

Lily suddenly came to a halt and looked down at Severus with a smile. 'I had almost forgotten about that,' she said as she started tossing off her clothes, and laid down in the spot Severus had been petting. 'How does it feel?'

Severus shrugged. 'I feel very much alive.'

'Can you remind me what happened, on the day you died?'

'The Dark Lord had taken over Hogwarts, along with his Death Eaters,' said Severus. 'I was in the Shrieking Shack – trying to stall him, when he sent his snake Nagini on me – believing me to be the true master of the Elder Wand. There were many things I didn't understand about that moment that I understand much better now.'

'Did you die all alone out there?' Lily asked, growing sombre.

'Not really,' said Severus. 'There were three students. One of which I gave my memories to, he—'

'—Your memories?' Lily asked, growing curious. 'Why would you share your memories in your final moment?'

'Because he needed to know things. Know things about us,' said Severus, and despite trying to fight it, he found his voice growing thick, 'and about the prophecy…'

'It was a different prophecy?'

Severus nodded, wishing the conversation had never steered into this direction. 'I'd rather not talk about it, Lily.'

'Perhaps you should tell me,' said Lily, her eyes narrowing. 'What did your memories about us have to do with that boy, and—'

'—Lily, stop!' Severus hissed. 'The prophecy from my first life was about him. This skinny, lanky, dark-haired little boy. I've tried to save him countless of times. I've spied for him. Lied for him. Put myself on the frontline for him. Maybe even cared for him. And it was hard Lily. So _very hard_ , because every time I looked him in the eyes, it was _you_ who I saw starting back at me. And he hated me. He hated _everything about me_!'

Lily's eyes grew wide in shock. 'Sev, what are you— what was his name? Who is – '

'— Harry, and I don't want to talk about it anymore,' Severus snapped, and rolled around to face the canvas of the tent. 'Please, just leave me alone. This conversation is the last thing I need.'

Severus waited until he was certain that Lily had fallen asleep before closing his own eyes. He knew that there would come a time where he would have to tell her about her son. He knew it wasn't right to withhold that kind of information from her – and yet, he was reluctant about telling her, knowing how much pain it was going to cost to both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N There is a very small mountain town called Grindelwald hidden in the Alps of Switzerland.


	213. Lost in the Mountains

Severus woke up early the next day. The sun was already creeping through the flaps of the entrance and he could feel the cold wind from the mountains blowing in, causing shivers to run down his spine. It took him a moment to realise that Lily wasn't lying next to him anymore and figured she had probably gone down to the lake.

He prepared breakfast for them on the table, made the bed and folded the clothes that were laying scattered throughout the tent. Once he was satisfied that the tent had been tidied up enough, he stepped outside in search of any red hair amongst all the green shrubbery. He couldn't find her sitting by the lake and so he walked into the woods in the hope of finding her there.

'Lily!' he yelled. 'I made breakfast. Care to join me?'

No response followed.

After about half an hour, Severus started to feel a little anxious. He couldn't find her out in the woods nor by the lake, and hoped that she may have walked her way up to the nearest town in search of supplies or information. He had been rather rude to her last night and figured that maybe she just wanted to be left alone for a moment.

It wasn't until he returned to the tent about an hour later that his heart started to sink to the ground. Her motorbike was gone, and so were all her belongings that came with it. He rushed his way inside the tent, desperate to find any note left by her that stated that she would return soon.

He found none, nor did he find any of her personal belongings aside from some worn out clothes and rushed back outside. 'LILY!' he yelled, the feeling of fear and desperation rose up as his mind started to wrap around the worst possible outcome. 'LILY! WHERE ARE YOU?'

A nauseating feeling started to rise from the pit of his stomach. 'LILY!' he cried. 'LILY WHERE DID YOU GO?' With a shaking hand he pulled out his wand and laid it down flat in the palm of his other hand. 'Point to Lily,' he said with a quivering voice, but the wand remained unmoved.

She had packed her bags in the middle of the night and left. That much Severus was certain of. 'Lily,' he said, his voice quivering. Tears started to stream down his face he as stared at the lake in front of him and sank down on his knees, wondering how on earth things had turned out the way they did.

…

Severus's mind spiralled down into a state of darkness in the weeks that followed. Lily's sudden disappearance had started to take its toll on him. Had she really given up on trying to find Grindelwald? Or was it because of what he had told her – or rather, not told her – about her son? He was beating himself up over the fact that he couldn't find out what was wrong with her. She had been carrying a secret. A big secret. Big enough that she didn't feeling comfortable to share it with him – which felt like a dagger stabbing him through the heart; that after all this time, she still didn't trust him in the way that he trusted her.

He started to lose his will to care for himself. The days started to blend together as he rode around on his bike to no place in particular, only to end up setting up camp in yet another forest by yet another lake. He couldn't find the will to eat, causing his clothes to appear baggier by the day. After discovering some English book titles in a shop, the only thing capable of keeping him distracted were the words he read on paper. He devoured novels by Marquez, Thompson, Pirsig and even Stephen King's latest, until he had read through them all and tossed them into a corner of the tent, never to be read again.

Every night before falling asleep, Severus cried until there were no more tears left to cry; convinced that he had lost Lily all over again – forever.

…

It was a hopeless case. Severus had toured around the entire country in vain and was heading down a road that was leading him back to Salzburg. He had wallowed in his own self-pity for nearly a month and needed to remind himself from time to time that Lily was strong and capable enough to have made the journey back home on her own, but that didn't stop him from worrying about her safety and wellbeing. For all he knew, she could have gotten lost, with no way of knowing on how to make it back. The feeling of not knowing. That was the worst of all.

Somewhere in a small town called Tauplitz he had managed to get his hands on several packs of cigarettes and smoked through all of them once he had reached Bad Ischl a little further up north. There, in Bad Ischl, he stood on the crossroad, contemplating whether he should head back west to Salzburg and go home in the hopes of finding Lily there, or head east and wander around aimlessly in yet another desperate attempt to find any clues on Grindelwald's whereabouts.

' _Bist du verloren_?'

Severus looked around the see where the gentle voice was coming from and found a young blonde and fair looking woman walking his way towards him.

'Sorry,' he answered. 'Do speak English by any chance?'

'A little bit,' said the lady with a smile. 'Are you lost?'

'I'm not sure if I am,' said Severus as he looked at the road from east to west. 'Do you happen to know a man by the name of Grindelwald by any chance?'

The young woman shook her head and came standing beside him, facing the crossroad. 'Why are you looking for him?'

'There are some things I need to learn to understand about war,' said Severus. 'And there are some things I need to learn to understand about love.'

'Did you lose something you love?' the young woman asked.

From the inside of his wallet, Severus pulled out the polaroid that Erwin had made of him and Lily on the day he had gotten his motorbike and handed it over. 'Her.'

'What a beautiful girl,' said the woman. 'She could be a Veela.'

Severus craned his neck and looked her straight in the eye. 'Veela?' he sputtered. 'How did you know I'm—'

'—your picture is moving,' said the woman with a smile, and handed the polaroid back to him. 'I'm half Veela, half Muggle, but you don't seem impressed by my presence as most men do. She must be one powerful witch that cast that kind of spell on you. See, she's still holding on to you.'

Severus looked down at the polaroid. Lily's arms were firmly clasped around his waist, smiling from ear to ear. 'Are you positive that you don't know anything about Grindelwald?' he asked.

'I know of magic,' said the woman with a shrug, 'but just because I know of magic, it does not mean that I live among magic. I'm afraid there's little I can do to help you there.'

'No news on any war either?'

'The only war I know about is the Muggle war that happened here,' said the woman. 'The remnants of an old concentration camp are a little further up east, but it appears you would rather go home and find your girl.'

'I don't think she wants to be with me anymore,' said Severus as he shoved the picture back into his wallet. 'I need to find Grindelwald first. After that, I hope I still have a home to come back to.'

'How come you are no longer with her?'

Severus shook his head. 'I don't really know. We've been out here for months – searching. One night we got into a fight, which is a very long story that I prefer not to talk about, but I think she has a hard time trusting me – especially after all this.'

The woman laid down her hand on his shoulder, and Severus could feel himself relax under her touch. 'I think your mind is making it worse than it really is. Go find what you are looking for. She'll be there.'

Severus nodded in understanding. 'If only it were that simple,' he said. 'I better keep going. Thank you.'

…

It was almost dark by the time Severus stumbled upon a sign that announced another crossroad. One leading to the Attersee, the other to the Traunsee. The words of the Veela he had met earlier that day still lingered in his mind and had only caused him to feel more confused about the situation than ever.

For the first time since his return to his teenage years, he wished there was someone out there to guide him. For someone to tell him what he was supposed to be doing, rather than having to figure it out for himself.

Angered by it all, he flicked on the lights of his bike and started to speed up. The cool evening wind rushing through his hair and the pine trees along the side of the road formed into blur of green in the corners of his eyes. He speeded up again, and the broken markings on the road started to form into a single straight line.

It felt good. Severus surrendered himself entirely to the maximum speed of his motorbike. He slalomed around potholes and flew over speedbumps as if nothing was able to harm him. He caught up with birds flying overhead and surpassed many cars that were heading the same way.

The crossroad was coming nearer. Soon, Severus would have to decide whether he was going to turn left or right. Not that it mattered much, he figured. One road would lead to a lake. The other road would lead to another lake. He had already passed both lakes from the north side after he and Lily had passed through Salzburg, and even then, they had been unable to detect anything magical about it.

The crossroad came into view. In that moment, he decided it was going to be last place he would visit before returning to Salzburg, and ultimately back to Devon. The journey was leading nowhere, and he needed Dumbledore's guidance by now, more than ever before.

He flicked on his blinkers, ready to turn left towards the Attersee, when suddenly a white figure materialized in front of him. Shocked, he slammed down on his brakes, but it was too late.

At full speed, Severus collided into the white figure, causing him to be fly off his bike as his bike started to slide out from underneath him. The last thing he saw was a white stag rushing back into the woods – and as he crashed down onto the road, everything went black.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Since everyone could probably use a laugh right about now, I'd like to inform you all that the Dutch translation of Severus Snape is Severus Sneep. Sneep, my people. SNEEP!
> 
> A/N Novels mentioned: Gabriel Marquez – a hundred years of solitude (1970). Hunter Thompson – fear and loathing in las vegas (1972). Robert Pirsig – zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance (one of my personal favourites 1974), and Stephen King – the shining (published in January 1977).
> 
> A/N Bist du verloren? = are you lost?


	214. The Ship beneath the Lake

The sun was high up in the sky by the time Severus woke up. A splitting headache pierced through his skull as he attempted to raise his head. The pain started to travel down from his neck to his spine and into his skin. The burning sensation of having his skin scraped across the asphalt stung like a thousand needles pricking him as he tried to push himself up.

It took a moment before Severus realised what had happened. He had collided headfirst into the white stag, causing him to fly across the road until his body shut down. Judging by the height of the sun, he must have been lying unconscious in the bushes for hours.

He saw his motorbike had crashed into a tree further up ahead. Or rather – wrapped itself entirely around a tree. All of his belongings were strewn across the bushes behind it.

Severus looked down at the soil he had landed on. It was damp beneath him from the blood that had been gushing out of a cut on the side of his head. He needed to get dittany, and fast. With as much strength as he could muster, he crawled his way up to the bag where Lily had left her potion supplies behind, cursing through his teeth as every movement felt like a knife stabbing him in the head.

Blessing Lily's talent for brewing potions and preparation skills, Severus was relieved to find several more phials of dittany stashed inside the potion's box. As carefully as he could, he took off his blood-stained t-shirt and started dabbing dittany on all the scrapes and scratches across his arms and ribs, feeling an instantaneous sense of relief when the wounds started knitting themselves together.

The biggest relief of all came when he applied the dittany to the cut across the side of his head, releasing him from the worst headache he had ever experienced. Once he was certain he was no longer bleeding, he leaned up against a tree and pulled himself up, his legs wobbling heavily as he attempted to stand.

As Severus held on to a branch of the pine he was leaning against, he looked across the road where the white stag had run off into. ' _What the hell are you_?' he mumbled to himself. The thought of it being someone in Animagus form had occurred to him, but for someone to take on such a rare form far outweighed the probability of it. The fact that the stag had walked in front of his bike on purpose and lived to tell the tale, made it even less likely to be so.

It took Severus several minutes before he was certain he was able to walk again. He looked down at his motorbike. Bits and pieces of his bike were scattered amongst his bags, and he knew in his heart of hearts that magic wasn't going to be able to safe it. Once he had collected of all of his belongings back together, he tossed the bloodied clothes to the side and changed into the military uniform Sergeant Rogers had given him. ' _Salvador Sanchez it is_ ,' he said with a sigh as he looked down at the nametag.

With his wand, he shrunk of all of his belongings to the size of teacups and stuffed them into the pockets of his combat trousers. ' _I'm going to miss you_ ,' he said with a final pat against the frame where the tire of his front wheel used to be, and walked up on the road. It was only then that he realised he had made quite a slide into the opposite direction. He had wanted to turn left towards the Attersee, but instead he was now standing on the road that lead to the Traunsee.

The appearance of the white stag had not been a coincidence, even if it had come at a great cost. With that thought in mind, he started walking, until he entered a town called Ebbensee.

…

Severus recalled the Veela mentioning something about the remnants of an old concentration camp to the east, and it appeared he had come to the right place. Before he went off to investigate what she meant precisely about remnants however, he entered a little café in the hopes of finding some food and some coffee.

The few people that were present looked over their shoulder from time to time – no doubt because of the American uniform he was wearing – but no-one felt the need to come up to him and start question his motives, which made him feel slightly more at ease. He lost his appetite somewhere halfway through his plate of semmeln and eggs and downed his coffee in a single gulp. He sat at his table for a while, staring out of the window that was pointed towards the lake, lost in thought.

Ebbensee didn't have much to offer aside from a few shops. The place could be deemed rather idyllic, had it not been for the fact that it had housed and starved thousands of Muggle prisoners during the second Muggle war.

Severus followed the signs by the road that led to the entrance of the Ebbensee concentration camp. A stone arch was all that was left of the entrance. The rusty hinges on each side indicating that the entrance had once been gated and closed off from the outside world. The words that once adorned the arch had been crudely filed off. Judging by the hollowed-out circles on each side of the arch, there had once been swastika's carved into it.

Severus walked up to the left side of the arch, where the reversed shape of an "L" was the only thing that made it evident that it had indeed once been a swastika. Gently, he touched it with the tips of his fingers, wondering how humanity had managed to grow so dark.

Hastily, Severus pulled his fingers back when he noticed that the "L" had started moving. The arch started to shake off the dust and debris it had collected over the years, and lines formed around the "L" until it had transformed into a different shape.

' _The Deathly Hallows_ ,' Severus mumbled as the triangle, circle and line across the middle formed into place. He looked up at the words that had formed above his head. "For the Greater Good" it read. _'I should've known_.'

He walked through the arch, walking over a path that had been formed by the collapsing of the tunnels that were now the graves of prisoners that ran underneath it. He kept walking all the way until he reached the shoreline on the southside of the Ebbensee.

There, on the shore, he looked at all the mountain peaks surrounding the lake, but so far nothing that reassembled a castle or a fortress came in sight. He took a few steps forward on the rocky beach; the water swaying up and down against his combat boots.

From the inside of his pockets he pulled out Lily's potions box and enlarged it to its regular size. He unwrapped the slimy Gillyweed he had found in the pond on the Burrow's grounds and held it in his hand while stuffing the potion's box back into his pocket.

All this time he had been looking at mountain peaks, only to come to the conclusion that Dumbledore never mentioned anything about Nurmengard being on top of a mountain. In his own mind, he had formed Nurmengard to look like a smaller version of Hogwarts, rising high above a lake in all its glory. Only now, he realised, that the answer had to lie below the surface.

He had never used Gillyweed before. Although he expected the taste of Gillyweed to be anything but pleasant, he wasn't quite prepared for the horror of it wiggling inside his mouth as he tried to swallow it. The salt mixed in with the slippery slime made him want to throw up more than anything else ever had. He pinched his nose to prevent himself from breathing and felt the Gillyweed sliding – strand by strand – down his throat. He took a moment to make sure his stomach wouldn't reject it, and only felt comfortable enough to move forward into the lake when he was able to breathe normally again.

Webs started to grow between his fingers and gills formed on the sides of his neck, making breathing in the open air a lot harder until he held his head down in the water.

He had a clear vision of everything inside the lake. He swam his way down the trench, only to come to the realisation that he was suddenly able to swim at all, and it felt surprisingly liberating.

In the far distance, he could see a group of merpeople carrying lobalugs, and figured it was best to stay as far away from them as possible. Merpeople weren't the only magical creatures he encountered. He also saw grindylows and murtlaps, plimpies and flying seahorses – all of which he had often used as ingredients in his potions.

After about half an hour, something strange – and yet oddly familiar came into view. Resting on top of a rock, in the centre of a giant air bubble, was a ship. Its black masts were waving along with the current of the water, and candlelight shimmered through its portholes like ghostly eyes. Severus recognised it as the same ship the students from Durmstrang had arrived with for Triwizard Tournament back in nineteen ninety-four.

Severus swam his way up to the front side of the ship, wandering if anyone was currently present on deck. With his wand he prodded against the bubble, hoping to form a hole to swim through.

A door on the frontside of the ship flung open, and out walked a man who Severus recognised as Newt Scamander. Severus waved in his direction, hoping to catch his attention.

' _There you are_!' said Scamander, his voice sounded muffled through the bubble. ' _Let me offer you a hand_.'

Scamander extended his hand straight through the bubble and pulled Severus onto the deck of the ship. 'I was wondering when you'd show up.'

Severus wanted to say something back, but no sound came out of his mouth. Instead, he started gasping for air; the effects of the Gillyweed had yet to wear off.

Quickly, Scamander conjured a bucket, filled it up with water and handed it over to Severus.

Severus stuck his head in the bucket, glad to be able to breathe again. He stood there for several minutes, waiting for the effects of the Gillyweed to wear off while Scamander busied himself with setting up a table and chairs on the desk.

'Always a bit tricky, Gillyweed,' said Scamander as Severus put the bucket down. 'You never quite know for certain when the effects start wearing off.'

Severus slummed down into the chair Scamander had conjured for him and took a good look at the scene he suddenly found himself in. 'I was expecting a fortress,' he said eventually.

'There is a fortress,' said Scamander as he sat down on the other side of the table. 'It's on the other side of the ship.'

There were many questions swirling around in Severus's mind, but none he was able to form into words.

'You must be exhausted,' said Scamander eventually.

'I am,' said Severus, only now realising just how exhausted he really was.

'I was told by Dumbledore that miss Evans was going to be here as well,' said Scamander.

'That's a long story,' Severus responded irritably. 'I'd rather not talk about it.'

Scamander nodded in understanding and turned the conversation. 'I know you must have a lot of questions on your mind, Severus, but how do you feel about resting first?'

'Right now – I'd give anything for a proper bed,' said Severus.

'Then we shall continue this conversation tomorrow,' said Scamander. 'Please, follow me inside. I've got several rooms for you to choose from.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Semmeln (plural) are a type of Austrian bread rolls.  
> A/N Lobalugs are aquatic creatures used by merpeople as weapons.


	215. The Moonlit Gate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !NOTICE! I'm going on holiday. Next update will be on June 17th!
> 
> A/N To my future readers: at this point in writing the first two Fantastic Beasts movies have come out. This means that everything you read about Grindelwald and Scamander at this point may no longer be canon compliant.

Severus woke up the next day inside a roomy cabin. For a split second, he wondered if he had suddenly woken up inside the Gryffindor common room. The walls were clad in red and gold, and Spanish paintings dating back to the sixteenth century were scattered all over the cabin. The ship had clearly belonged to wealthy merchants several centuries ago, and by the looks of it, it had – at some point in history – been resurrected from the bottom of the ocean with the use of magic.

For a moment, Severus contemplated putting his military uniform back on, but decided against it after he found the black robes that Frank had gifted to him. He looked at himself in a mirror as he buttoned his robes all the way up to the last button on top. He had started to reassemble so much of his old self. Stringy, sallow – and his robes felt slightly too big around his thinning frame. No longer wanting to look at the man he was becoming again, he tossed a sheet over the mirror and walked out of the cabin.

He found Scamander sitting at the table on the deck, enjoying a streaming cup of tea. 'Good morning, Severus,' said Scamander without taking his eyes of a tribe of merpeople swimming overhead.

'Morning,' Severus mumbled back as he sat down at the table and poured a cup of tea for himself. In his mind he kept rejecting wanting to have any sort of meaningful conversation with Scamander, but as he looked at the lake around him, he couldn't help but notice how eerily beautiful it was. The sunlight beat down on the bubble above him, but the rays couldn't reach the bottom of the deep lake, leaving it clad in darkness.

'How did you end up here?' Severus asked eventually.

'I came to Austria to study graphorns,' said Scamander. 'There live here in the mountains – but unfortunately they are on the brink of extinction. I want to figure out a way to set up a breeding –'

'—that's not what I meant,' said Severus. 'What I meant is, how did you escape the Death Eaters?'

From the inside of Scamander's pocket, the head of a little bowtruckle popped up and climbed its way up to his shoulder. 'People always underestimate what creatures are capable of,' he said. 'He picked the locks of the cell for me when I knew there weren't any Death Eaters standing guard. I ran until I found a place where I could apparate.'

Severus extended a hand to Scamander's shoulder. The little bowtruckle hesitated to jump on until Scamander gave him a little nudge. 'It's okay,' he said to the little creature. 'Don't mind him, Severus. He's a bit shy.'

Severus held the little bowtruckle up to his face. 'Curious little creature you are indeed,' he said as he placed the bowtruckle on his shoulder.

'Do you have creatures at home, Severus?'

'I have a kneazle,' said Severus. 'He was a gift from Lily, and I miss him – more than a thought I would. Mister Scamander, could you tell me something about your relationship regarding Grindelwald?'

'It's a complicated one,' said Scamander. 'We aren't friends – but neither are we sworn enemies. The man has a dark history, much darker than Voldemort.'

'You dare say his name?'

' _Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself_ ,' Scamander cited with a smile. 'Dumbledore taught me that. Gellert Grindelwald, he is – he is a man with a silver tongue, Severus. He has a way around words. His purpose is clear. His motives are clear. You can feel the vile undertone of his words resonating in your heart, and yet you find yourself agreeing with him – as if he was right about everything all along.'

'And have you?' Severus asked. 'Agreed with him, I mean.'

'Only one thing,' said Scamander, 'and that is that his love for Dumbledore was real. There are many things twisted in his soul – but he loves Dumbledore. Of that I am certain.'

'How did you end up here?' Severus asked again. 'I had to pass through many war related checkpoints in order to reach this place – or see it, for that matter. Yet here you are, drinking tea while staring up at flying seahorses without a care in the world.'

'Because I stole the ship,' said Scamander as he tapped on the deck with his foot. 'It was docked by a lake near Little Hangleton. Since ships don't belong in lakes, I figured it had to be magical. No doubt several Death Eaters had used it by means of transport. It can travel through lakes, you see. That's what makes it so special. When I arrived here, Grindelwald confirmed that the ship belongs to Durmstrang. It's mostly used to pick up students from across North and Eastern Europe to sail them off to Durmstrang after the summer break.'

Severus remembered the ship rising out of the Great Lake all too well. Its ghostly appearance left a bigger impression on the staff and students than the carriage and the palomino horses of Beauxbatons did, and he had often wondered what happened in the bowels of the ship in Karkaroff's presence. Coming to think of it, he wasn't sure if Karkaroff was already the Headmaster of the Durmstrang Institute, and made a mental note of it that it was something he needed to figure out. 'How do I get inside the fortress?' he asked eventually.

'During full moon,' said Scamander.

Severus nearly spat out his tea. 'During the full moon,' he snapped. 'When is the next bloody full moon supposed to happen?'

'Tonight,' said Scamander with a nonchalant shrug. 'So, you're in luck. The drawbridge only opens once a month when the full moon shines on the lake. Once you enter however, you cannot return until the next full moon occurs. Follow me.'

Scamander stood up and walked to the opposite and higher part of the deck with Severus following closely behind. He walked up a ladder and pointed at the crow's nest that was positioned behind the helm of the ship. 'Climb up and see it for yourself.'

The crow's nest rose high up in the air. The tip barely touching the edge of the bubble. Severus took a hold of the rope ladder and started climbing his way to the top. The further up he went, the more of the fortress became visible.

By the time he had reached the top of the crow's nest, the entire fortress was visible. On top of a rock, right in the middle of the lake, stood a fortress the size of a very large manor. Its walls were formed into the shape of a triangle, and a stone circle and line could be seen on its roof. Though covered in algae and various water plants, he could still see that the fortress was a giant version of the symbol of the Deathly Hallows from above.

' _What do you think_?' Scamander yelled from down below.

' _That he's got a thing for symbols_ ,' Severus yelled back. ' _I'm coming back down_.'

…

'Dumbledore had asked me to find you,' said Severus as Scamander was preparing for dinner.

'Because of the dragon, I presume,' said Scamander. 'Voldemort still has it. He wanted me to figure out a way to train it. He's preparing for battle, and he wants poor Archy to be used as a weapon.'

'You gave _it_ a name?'

'That's Bojangles you have there,' said Scamander as he pointed at the bowtruckle that had tangled himself up into Severus's hair. 'All creatures have feelings, and a heart – and a soul. They deserve to be loved and cared for just like any human being does, even if they are classified as dangerous.'

Severus nodded in understanding. 'I believe Dumbledore has requested your help in getting Archy back with his mother on Skye.'

'If that is what Dumbledore has requested of me,' said Scamander with a hint of determination, 'then that is what I'll do. But first, we better get to Grindelwald.'

They waited around on the top deck until the sun had set and the moon rose high up in the sky. Moonbeams illuminated the surface of the lake, causing everything it touched below the surface to turn ghostly pale.

'I think I can hear the drawbridge coming down,' said Scamander.

The scraping sound of rusty metal chains clanking down echoed through the water. The light reflected off the moon shone brightly against the bridge. The Fraktur lettering above the stone arch lit up, reading " _For the Greater Good_ ".

'Got all of your belongings, Severus?'

Severus patted down against his pockets to make sure all of his shrunken bags were in it. 'Got it,' he said. 'What's the next step?'

'Are you familiar with the Bubble-Head charm?'

'I am,' said Severus. 'However, I don't know how to swim.'

'Just hold on to me,' said Scamander as he grabbed his suitcase, and appeared entirely unphased by Severus's confession.

Together, they walked up to the edge of the bubble around the ship and casted the Bubble-Head charm on their face. Holding on to Scamander's shoulder, they jumped off the deck and into the lake, swimming their way forward into they reached the edge of the drawbridge.

'Don't worry too much about it,' said Scamander as he took notice of Severus staring at the entrance. 'Grindelwald is many things – formal isn't one of them.'

They walked their way down the bridge in slow motion until they reached a magical barrier. Scamander popped his bubble as he stepped through, with Severus following closely behind him.

If Nurmengard was meant to be Grindelwald's prison, it reassembled anything but. The hall that led to the centre of the fortress was decorated with magical treasures from all over the world. Some, Severus recognised were similar to the ones in Dumbledore's office, and others he had never seen before.

'Gellert,' said Scamander as he knocked on an oaken door. 'You have a visitor.'

Severus could hear the sound of a cloak dragging over the floor approaching the door. It swung open, revealing a tall man towering over him.

His mismatched eyes observed Severus from top to bottom, and quickly Severus pulled up his Occlumency shield in case Grindelwald attempted to prod inside his mind.

Grindelwald was tall, perhaps even taller than Dumbledore. His grey beard and hair were neatly trimmed and his black shimmering cloak and straightened back made him appear royal. 'Albus sent you,' he said in a deep voice laced with an Austrian accent. It wasn't a question. 'Come in.'

Severus stepped inside the circular centre of the fortress. A candlelit chandelier dangled from the centre of the room, lighting everything up. From floor to ceiling, the walls were covered in books with titles varying from Muggle authors to anything related to the Dark Arts. Much as the interior of the cabin on the ship had reminded him of the Gryffindor common room, the interior of Grindelwald's hideout reassembled more of Slytherin's common room. Dark leather seats were positioned around a fireplace, on which the coat of arms of Durmstrang was positioned as a centrepiece. Between the bookshelves were magical windows, projecting the moonlight from above down onto the dark green carpet.

'Sit down,' Grindelwald commanded as he gestured towards the couch by the fire. With a nod in Scamander's direction, he made it clear that he wanted to be left alone with Severus.

Without a word, Scamander nodded back and closed the oaken door behind him, leaving Severus to stand alone in a room with a man who had once terrorised the entire wizarding world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N In June 1977, there was a rare occurrence where there were two full moons on each end of the month. The first one on the 1st of June, and the second on the 30th of June.  
> A/N "Franktur" was denominated by the Nazi's as the "German font" up until 1941 when it became dubbed as "Schwabacher Judenlettern [Jewish letters]" by Nazi official Martin Bormann. The exact reason behind it is unknown.


	216. The Name is Gellert Grindelwald

Severus did as he was told and sat down on the couch by the fire.

'Quite a journey you must have had, getting here – Severus,' said Grindelwald as he sat down on the opposite side.

'You know my name?'

'From the papers,' said Grindelwald. 'The youngest member of the Order of Merlin. Quite an achievement – and very clever on Albus' behalf. Very clever.'

Severus was tempted to ask what was so clever about it, but decided against it. 'You're not imprisoned here, are you?'

'What gave it away,' said Grindelwald with a sly grin. 'The fact that you don't see me bound in chains in my own fortress, or the fact that you just walked through my gates without as much as a scratch.'

'What's keeping you here?'

Grindelwald pointed up at the ceiling. 'Because there's nothing left for me up there.'

'What's your relation to mister Scamander?'

'We share a history. It's not pretty, but it's history nonetheless.'

'What is The Greater Good to you?'

'You're asking an awful lot of questions, young man,' said Grindelwald, still grinning. 'My turn. Why did Albus sent you here?'

'To come and find you,' Severus answered. 'There's been a prophecy.'

'Is it about me?' Grindelwald asked with a twinkle in his eye.

'It could be,' said Severus as he stood up and started pacing around the room. 'But I doubt it.'

'What was the prophecy about?' Grindelwald asked, his mismatched eyes following Severus.

'The four great wizards who defied death,' said Severus. 'The first is Nicolas Flames, who defied death with his philosopher's stone. The second one is one who calls himself the Dark Lord – and as you probably know, he's currently on the rise. The third one is me – of which I will spare you the details of, and the fourth one is either Dumbledore – or you. The prophecy predicts that only one wizard can remain standing, which is why I need some answers from you.'

'If this is about the Deathly Hallows, I'm afraid I cannot help you there as I do not have them.'

'I'm well aware,' said Severus, now leading up against the couch Grindelwald was sitting on. 'I think it's fairly obvious the prophecy speaks of Dumbledore – and not you. However, there is something that's been nagging me ever since I saw my father for the last time in prison.' From the inside of his pocket, he pulled out the broken pieces of the time-turner and held them up for Grindelwald to see. 'This is yours, I believe.'

'Indeed it is,' said Grindelwald as he took the pieces of the time-turner from Severus's hand. 'Yet another failed experiment.'

'Are you positive it failed?'

'Quite positive,' said Grindelwald. 'The Big Ben started working again, on the ninth of May, to be exact.'

'What were you planning on changing in the past?'

'Everything,' said Grindelwald.

Severus pointed up at the ceiling. 'Seems to me you still have things up there you care about.'

'You're a lot cleverer than you look,' said Grindelwald. He was looking up Severus with a newfound curiosity. 'Wise beyond your years, I'd say.'

'You are correct, said Severus, grinning back.

'What else is it you wish to know from me?' asked Grindelwald.

'How familiar are you, with the one who calls himself the Dark Lord?'

'That his real name is Tom Riddle,' Grindelwald answered. 'Half-Muggle, half Slytherin heir. He used to be one of Albus's old student when he was still teaching Transfiguration. Prefers to call himself _Voldemort_.' Grindelwald chuckled at mentioning Voldemort. 'I always found it weak, hiding your true self behind a made-up name. If you wish to instil fear – be that fear. What do you know of his motives?'

'He fears death,' said Severus. 'An ignominious death – even more. I believe that he has found a way to preserve himself one way or another, although I don't know how.'

'And what about power?'

'A tool to achieve immortality, and nothing more,' said Severus. 'I learned that the hard way – a long time ago. He uses his followers. He knows how to reward, but he does not love. Everything – and everyone, can be used, abused, and disposed of in the end.'

'It appears mister Riddle is familiar with Napoleon's tactics.'

'What do you mean?'

' _A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of coloured ribbon. Give me enough medals and I'll win you any war_ ,' Grindelwald cited. 'Hand them out rewards. Hand them meaningless titles. Hand them a sense of purpose and glory they can show off, and they will eat out of your hands – but you know all this already, of course.'

'I was there – eating out of his hands, as you said, all the way up to his very most trusted inner circle,' said Severus bitterly.

'What was it that made you turn over?' asked Grindelwald, curious.

'The moment he took what mattered most to me.'

'It sounds like love to me.'

'That's exactly was it was – or is,' said Severus. 'He touched the one thing he had promised me he would spare, and he didn't listen.'

With a snap of his fingers, Grindelwald switched on an old record player that was standing on a little table underneath one of the moonlit windows. 'Do you recognise the music, Severus?'

Severus shook his head. 'It sounds beautiful.'

'The composer's name is Frédéric Chopin,' said Grindelwald. 'Half Polish, half French, and the face of the Romantic era. His Nocturnes were Albus's favourite chamber music – though I doubt he still listens to it.'

'He still does,' said Severus, now recognising the soft piano tunes he had heard coming from Dumbledore's Office over the years. 'He listens to it whenever he needs time to think.'

'A thing he does quite a lot of, I'm afraid,' said Grindelwald as his closed his eyes, his hands moving along to the rhythm of the music. 'You won't be able to leave this fortress until the next full moon. Go make yourself at home.'

There were many things still left unsaid, but Severus took it as his cue to leave. He left Grindelwald behind, who appeared to have entered a state of trans as he listened and moved along to the music.

Severus walked around the fortress for a while until he found Scamander in what had to be the kitchens. The kitchen was relatively small compared to the size of the fortress, but the glass ceiling made up for its extravagance. Scamander was lying spread-eagle on the dinner table, looking up at all the creatures that were swimming by above him. 'There you are, Bojangles,' said Scamander as Severus took a seat beside him. 'I was wondering if he went in there with you.'

Severus had entirely forgotten about the bowtruckle that was still dangling in his hair. A tiny yawn revealed that Bojangles was waking up from a long nap. He untangled himself and jumped right on top of Scamander's chest, ready to bury himself in his breast pocket.

'How did it go?' asked Scamander without taking his eyes of the ceiling.

'Interesting man,' said Severus. 'Asks a lot of questions. Also decides when the conversation is over.'

'We are guests in his house after all,' said Scamander with a shrug. 'In here, he makes the rules.'

'We're going to be stuck in here for a month,' said Severus, mostly to himself.

'I thought you knew that,' said Scamander.

'I'm well aware,' Severus responded dryly.

'If questions were stars, they'd be dancing above your head,' said Scamander. 'Perhaps it's time to get some rest.'

'Perhaps it is.'

'Follow me.'

Gracefully, Scamander rolled off the table and took the lead. Severus followed him until they had reached a spiral staircase that lead down to a deeper part in the bowels of the fortress. They walked down a dark corridor until Scamander came to a halt and opened a door on his left-hand side. 'I've used this room before,' he said as he walked in. 'Changed it up a bit to make it cosier.'

The room stuck out like a sore thumb against the bleakness of the fortress. The room reminded Severus a bit of Mrs Figg's interior. Ever object in the room was themed around some magical creature one way or another, and the flowery pink wallpaper caused him to squint his eyes in disgust.

On the bed was the brown suitcase Scamander had brought along with him. With his thumbs he pushed the locks open on each side. The suitcase sprung open, revealing a ladder. 'Care to come take a look?' he asked.

Severus looked down into the suitcase on what appeared to a cabin the size of a fisherman's hut. 'What's down there?' he asked.

'Everything dear to me, except for my wife, of course,' said Scamander. 'She's in America with her sister at the moment. 'One of my Fwooper's eggs have hatched. Perhaps you would like to see them.'

Wondering what Scamander could possibly be hiding inside that little cabin, Severus stepped inside the suitcase and followed Scamander down until he was standing amongst a large collection of phials and cabinets, filled with potion ingredient extractions from various creatures.

'There's more where that came from,' said Scamander with a hint of a smile. He pushed open another door, revealing an entire zoo hiding out in his suitcase.

Severus didn't know where to look. It felt as if every type of environment imaginable around the earth was crammed into a confined space.

'The Fwoopers are through here,' said Scamander as he shoved a rainforest curtain aside and revealed a small baobab tree standing in the middle of a savanna.

'Fwoopers live all across Africa and usually built their nests in the highest branches of the baobab tree,' said Scamander as he looked up at the tree. 'See, there she is.'

Looking up, Severus found a lime green bird squinting her eyes back at them. Right below her belly, were the tiny heads of four multi-coloured little birds looking down as well. 'Beautiful, aren't they?' said Scamander, his eyes shimmering with pride.

'They look like little Easter eggs,' said Severus with a snort. 'They are beautiful, as long as they don't start singing.'

'Not to worry,' said Scamander. 'She's got a Silencing Charm on her. I'd rather not have her drive all the other creatures insane.'

By the curtain behind the baobab tree, the hooked beak of a young Thestral peaked out. 'You have Thestrals here?' Severus asked.

'Several,' said Scamander, and whistled to the Thestral to have it come near. The young Thestral walked up from behind the curtain and nudged Scamander gently in his ribs with its head. 'Now that the Forbidden Forest is without Thestrals, I started a breeding program so a new herd can be released soon.'

The quiver in Scamander's voice betrayed that the death of the thestrals hadn't come easy to him. 'mister Scamander,' said Severus, 'I –'

'—Oh please, just call me Newt,' said Newt as the petted the Thestral behind its ears. 'There's no need to be formal.'

'Newt,' Severus corrected himself, have you seen what they've done with the Thestral's tail hairs by any chance?'

'They tried to make wands out of it,' said Newt bitterly. 'It backfired on them, quite literally at times. I think they gave up once they started running out of tail hairs to work with. So many poor Thestrals, slaughtered for nothing.'

'I buried them all,' said Severus, now also petting the Thestral. 'With help from the gamekeeper, Hagrid. There's still one Thestral out there, all alone. Her name is Lilith.'

'That was a very noble thing of you to do,' said Newt. 'You seem very fond of creatures.'

'There was a time where I saw them as nothing more than potion ingredients,' said Severus with a hint of shame. 'My girlfr – friend convinced me to take up Care of Magical Creatures. I consider it to be one of my better decisions from the past two years.'

'Lost love?'

'I don't know,' said Severus without taking his eyes of the Thestral in front of him. 'That's the worst part. Not knowing. At this point I'm just worried, and I can only hope that she made it home safe.'

'Worrying means you suffer twice,' said Newt. 'Perhaps it's time we headed off to bed.'

Severus agreed. Looking at all the creatures around him had put him into a good mood, but the thought of Lily pulled him right back down to a darker part of his mind. He followed Newt out of the little universe Newt had created for himself and closed the lid of the suitcase after they stepped back into the flowery pink bedroom.

'Thank you,' said Severus as he conjured a four-poster bed for himself on the other end of the room.

'What for?' asked Newt while changing into pyjamas.

'Nothing in particular,' said Severus. 'Goodnight.'

Severus stepped inside his bed and closed the curtains, illuminating the small space with the tip of his wand. As he unbuttoned his robes, he noticed something falling out of his inner pocket. He passed it off as an ordinary piece of paper, until it hit him that it was exactly that. An ordinary piece of paper.

He snatched it from the sheets of his bed and held it up in the light of his wand. He only knew of one person who crossed their Ts with a distinctive line in the middle; Arnica.

_In case of an emergency, use this_

_UKW C_

_I 20T 2B_

_III 12L 5E_

_V 1A 5E_

_bq cr di ej kw mt os px uz gh_

 


	217. Grindelwald's Mind

Severus woke up to the scent of fried eggs and bacon travelling down the hall from the kitchen. The piece of paper he had found the night before had been crumbled up into his fist. He knew what the code meant. The problem, however, was that he couldn't use it unless he had an identical Enigma machine – and in a place like this, Enigma machines were hard to find.

He got dressed and noticed Newt was still sound asleep. He tiptoed his way out of the room and walked up to the kitchen where he found Grindelwald busying himself over the stove. 'Good morning, Severus,' said Grindelwald without taking his eyes of the frying pan on the fire.

'Good morning,' Severus mumbled back, and sat down at the table. 'Is any of that for me as well?'

Grindelwald turned his gaze away from the stove and looked Severus straight in the eye. 'Thought I would let me own guests go hungry?' he said with a smile.

'Thought it was a pretty poor attempt of you – trying to prod inside my mind just now,' said Severus.

Grindelwald's smile turned into a grin. 'You truly are a lot smarter than you look. You got your Occlumency shields up so high they have become impenetrable.'

'I'll take it as a compliment,' said Severus.

'You shouldn't,' said Grindelwald as he handed Severus a platter of food. 'Because you'll no longer permit anyone to come in,' he added as he joined Severus at the table.

'I don't want people to –' but before Severus was able to finish his sentence, Grindelwald took a hold of Severus's left hand and held the back of his hand right in front of his eyes.

'What does it say?' said Grindelwald sharply.

'I know what it says,' Severus gritted through his teeth. 'Could you let go of my hand?'

'What does it say?' Grindelwald repeated.

'Let go of my –'

Grindelwald raised his voice. 'WHAT – DOES IT SAY, SEVERUS?'

' _I must not tell lies_ ,' said Severus, growing more frustrated with each passing second.

'That's right,' said Grindelwald as he released Severus's hand. ' _I. Must. Not. Tell. Lies_. A remarkable scar, and a daily reminder that you shouldn't lie to the people around you.'

Severus rubbed the sore spot with his thumb where Grindelwald had squeezed him. 'It sounds as if you are speaking from experience.'

'Indeed I am,' said Grindelwald as he started digging into his plate of food. 'That's why I recommend you not to make the same mistakes I did.'

'And which particular mistake would that be?'

'The one where you lie to the one you love.'

'—I don't –'

'—That includes withholding information, Severus.'

Severus looked down at his plate. He knew Grindelwald was speaking the truth, and it stung. 'What is it you withheld from Dumbledore?' he asked.

'My true intentions,' Grindelwald answered. 'What I intended on doing with the Hallows once we had them all in our possession.'

'Should've known,' said Severus stiffly as he started digging into his plate of eggs. 'Is that when he left you – once he figured that out?'

'Albus left because his sister died.'

Severus stopped eating and looked up at the man before him who was casually playing with food; wondering how anyone could drop such a heavily loaded subject onto the breakfast table. 'What happened?' he asked, curious.

'Ariana got caught between fires when we duelled,' said Grindelwald, still sounding casual. 'Until this very day, we don't know who is ultimately responsible for her death.'

'You're lying.'

'Do you deem it wise of me to tell on Albus that his sister's death was in his hands all along?'

Severus took a moment to think. 'No,' he answered eventually. 'How come you ended up duelling in the first place?'

'Because Albus had an epiphany, as they say,' said Grindelwald. 'He found out that keeping Wizards and Muggles separated from each other meant more than simply dividing them up by means of a wall.'

'How many people have died because of your wrongdoings?' Severus asked.

Grindelwald raised an eyebrow. 'How many people have died because of yours, Severus?'

'You're avoiding my question.'

'The Soviet Union was once ruled by a man who called himself Stalin, as you may very well know,' Grindelwald started to explain. 'He gave himself that name to rid himself of his poor Georgian status, and to appear more powerful to his followers. Not very unlike Voldemort.'

'Where are you going with this?'

'Patience, Severus,' said Grindelwald as he leaned forward, staring straight at Severus with his mismatched eyes. 'Stalin understood that the death of one is tragic, but the death of millions is merely a statistic. It's a terrible thing when something horrible happens to someone who all know and love, but when the same fate hits many people at the same time – we somehow lose our capability to empathise.'

'What I'm saying, Severus,' Grindelwald continued as he leaned back into his chair, 'is that I can't feel anything for those who have given their lives for the sake of my cause. Not a day goes by however, that I don't think about the day Albus lost Ariana – and I lost him as a result. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to finish my breakfast.'

Severus nodded in understanding and finished up his plate when Newt walked in, still in his pyjamas. 'Got any breakfast left for me, Gellert?' he said happily.

'There's plenty left on the stove,' said Gellert. 'If you two gentlemen will excuse me, I'd like to retreat to my office and think for a while.'

Newt took over Grindelwald's place at the table as Grindelwald left the kitchen. 'You look like your mind got wrecked,' said Newt as he started digging into his bacon.

'It certainly wasn't a casual conversation most people share over breakfast,' said Severus with a sneer.

'There's no such thing as a casual conversation with this man,' said Newt. 'Sometimes it's fascinating, but at other times it's also rather exhausting. How do you think you're going to spend the remainder of your month in here?'

'Locked inside your suitcase, preferably,' said Severus with a grin.

'You're more than welcome to help me look after my creatures,' said Newt. 'They love all the attention they can get. Anything else you need help with?'

'Convince Grindelwald to leave his fortress and meet with Dumbledore,' said Severus. 'We've got little less than a month to achieve it, and I'd rather not be stuck down here for another.'

'That shouldn't be too difficult,' said Newt. 'You should go follow him into his office. Talk about books or something. If it's a casual conversation you want, then you should be the one to lead it.'

…

Taking in Newt's advice, Severus followed Grindelwald to the circular room where they had met the night before. He found Grindelwald sitting on the leather couch, leafing through a leather-bound book he couldn't read the title of.

'Did you enjoy your time at Durmstrang?' Severus asked as he pointed at the school's coat of arms that was hanging above the hearth.

'A turbulent time,' said Grindelwald as he tossed the book aside.

'So many students have gone there,' said Severus, still looking up at the coat of arms in fascination. 'And yet, there's so much secrecy revolved around it.'

'It's located on the Arctic Circle on the border between Finland and the Soviet Union,' said Grindelwald as he looked up at the coat of arms with Severus.'

'I've never known.'

'It's just to keep the Muggles out,' said Grindelwald with a shrug. 'Finland and the Soviet Union don't exactly share a loving history, so the school did what it needed to do to keep away from the crossfires.'

'Understandably so,' said Severus as his eyes traced the outlining of the double-headed eagle, holding up a banner that read "Дурмстранг" in Cyrillic, and "Durmstrang" in Latin. 'Does Durmstrang have a sorting system?'

'It does,' said Grindelwald. 'I won't bore you with how they do it – as it's not that interesting, but I can tell you that Durmstrang has three houses, opposed to the four you have at Hogwarts.'

'What are they called?'

'There's the house of Salt, the house of Mercury, and the house of Sulphur.'

'Solid, liquid and gas,' Severus mumbled to himself. 'Symbols of ancient alchemy.'

'You are correct,' said Grindelwald with a nod. 'Also known as the houses of the body, mind and soul. Salt can be compared to water and earth. Mercury to water and air, and sulphur to air and fire.'

'What was your house?' Severus asked.

'Sulphur,' said Grindelwald.

'In which house would you put me, if I had been a student at Durmstrang?' Severus asked.

'You're a Slytherin through and through,' said Grindelwald. 'And not very unlike me – you also think too much. You'd definitely find your home in the house of the mind.'

It seemed fitting, Severus thought to himself, to belong in the house of Mercury. 'I think I still prefer Slytherin,' he said eventually. 'Are you familiar with anyone named Igor Karkaroff?'

'Is he in any way significant to you?' asked Grindelwald.

'He's a Death Eater,' said Severus, 'and he hides his true loyalties well.'

'He was recently established as the new headmaster of Durmstrang,' said Grindelwald. 'A smart man, but not an intelligent man – if you get what I mean.'

Severus nodded in understanding. 'He needs to be taken out of the equation. He knows how to deceive people. Have them cross over to the Dark Lord's side – and students are the most susceptible of all, and he knows it.'

'Do you believe he was elected to be the new headmaster?' Grindelwald asked.

'I'm quite positive many have voted for him under the influence of the Imperius Curse,' said Severus. 'He's there because The Dark Lord asked him to. Not because he cares so much about the education and wellbeing of students.'

'Then what do you suggest?'

'I need you to leave this fortress with me during the next full moon,' said Severus, now looking up at Grindelwald. 'I need you to speak with Dumbledore.'

'It's not that easy.'

'It never is.'

'I need some time to think about it.' Grindelwald reached for the book he had tossed aside and started leafing through it again.

'What is it you're reading?' Severus asked.

Grindelwald's eyes shifted rapidly from page to page. 'I'm not reading, I'm searching. The art of reading and studying consists of remembering the essentials and forgetting what is inessential.'

'And what it is that's essential in this particular book?' Severus asked.

'Nothing, so far,' Grindelwald answered with a huff. 'I'm trying to figure out what it is that keeps Voldemort alive when he's barely mortal. However – I do believe that I'm on the right track.'

'Keep in mind, Severus,' Grindelwald continued. 'Wars are rarely won by the written word _. The quill is mightier than the wand_ , as they say, but I don't believe that to be true. I believe that every great movement on this earth owes its growth to great speakers and not to great writers. Voldemort – now that's a man who knows how to speak. He understands that the strong man is mightier alone, and he is very vocal about it. I think I found the answer you were looking for.'

Grindelwald closed the book and handed it over to Severus. 'Figure it out for yourself when you're ready to read it,' he said. 'Careful, the book is sharp.'

'Thanks,' Severus mumbled as he looked at the black leather-bound book in his hands. 'I have one final question before I leave you alone.'

'Do ask.'

'Are you familiar with Enigma Machines?'

'Those coding machines they used during the Muggle war, you mean?' Grindelwald answered.

'Yes,' said Severus.

'What do you need one for?'

'I need to figure out a way to contact my family,' said Severus, his voice growing heavy under the weight of mentioning his family.

A foreign – and yet very familiar twinkle appeared in Grindelwald's eye. 'This fortress is littered with old artefacts,' he said. 'Magic and Muggle alike. I think there's a house-elf somewhere who can help you find one or retrieve one if you need it.'

'Thank you,' said Severus sincerely. He turned around, closed to the door of Grindelwald's office behind him and started walking to his bedroom in the hope of finding Newt tending to his creatures in his suitcase.

Severus's mind was still swirling from all the information he had received from Grindelwald and was relieved to find that Newt was indeed tending to his Fwoopers down in his suitcase. He sat down on the grass near a nest of Occamies and opened the first page of the book. The pages of the book felt razor-sharp to the touch, and the lettering was written in a deep red colour as though written with the use of blood. It took a moment until Severus realised that he had seen the title of the book before, hidden amongst the shelves somewhere in the Forbidden Section of the Library at Hogwarts, and began to read;

 _Secrets of the Darkest Arts  
_ _By Owle Bullock_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Fun fact! If you combine the symbols of the three elements, you get a triangle (sulphur), circle (mercury) and another circle with a line through the middle (salt). Combined, those three together form the symbol of the Deathly Hallows.  
> A/N The Soviet Union was dissolved on the 26th of December 1991 and became known as Russia after that.  
> A/N The reason I picked Sulphur for Grindelwald is because of the association with sulphur (in the bible known as brimstone) and the devil.  
> A/N Ever since playing Skyrim, I can't help but envision Durmstrang to look like the College of Winterhold.


	218. Secrets of the Darkest Arts

With every page turned, more and more tiny papercuts appeared on Severus's hands left by the razor-sharp edges of the pages.

'Are you finding what you are looking for?' asked Newt.

A particularly sour looking Severus dropped the book and held up his hands for Newt to see. ' _Blithering Dark Arts books and their bloody trickery_ ,' he gritted through his teeth.

'I recommend petting the Murtlaps for a while,' said Newt.

'I will later, but I won't stop until I know what it is that Grindelwald found,' said Severus as he picked the book back up.

'Have you figured anything out so far?'

'I'm trying to do the thing Grindelwald recommended and discard any information that is inessential,' said Severus. 'I've read about a lot of dark things over the years – but nothing quite like this. There are even some something about –'

'—Sorry for interrupting,' said Newt with a smile, 'but I'd rather not know. It's not really the Hufflepuff way.'

'You were a Hufflepuff?'

'The humblest of houses, if I may say so myself,' said Newt with a hint of pride. 'The Dart Arts don't frighten me, but I simply have no interest in them.'

'I sometimes wish I hadn't had an interest in them,' Severus said admittedly.

'And look where it got you,' said Newt with a wink. 'Don't forget to pet the Murtlaps.'

'I won't,' said Severus as he leafed through the book and cursed to himself as a page cut straight underneath his fingernail. He continued to skim through pages on Poisonous Potions, Undetectable Internal Injuries, how to resurrect the Inferi… he even came across a description about the Unforgivable Curses – wand movements included. It wasn't until the blood from his hands had started to leave fingerprints all over the pages when he stumbled upon a particularly interesting chapter title; _How to Salvage and Savour One's Soul._

The chapter spoke of the need for powerful objects. On how to tear up your soul – piece by piece – through rituals of murder and sacrifice. On how to hide and preserve the objects you have given the piece of your soul to, and on how to retrieve it with the use of the body of a recently departed. Horcruxes.

Severus had found what he was looking for.

' _Horcruxes_ ,' he mumbled to himself. ' _He split his soul to make Horcruxes_. _That's how he wants to live forever_. Newt!'

'Yes?' said Newt as he poked his head out from behind a curtain.

'What is Hufflepuff known for?'

'The house or its founder?'

'Its founder, I think,' said Severus. 'Was Helga Hufflepuff known for anything specific?'

'Aside from her love for food and drink?'

'I was more thinking along the lines of magical artefacts associated with her.'

Newt pinched the bridge of his nose in order to think. 'There's a story about her going around of always drinking from the same cup – as it magically refilled itself with an endless supply of fine wine,' he said. 'She was never seen without it. Even Muggles knew about the existence of the cup – though they do have a different name for it – but that's as much as I know about any artefacts related to her.'

'A cup,' said Severus, thinking out loud. 'A cup…thank you Newt. I think I may know what this is about.'

Severus dashed off, climbed up the ladder and rummaged through his belongings until he found the pensieve he had stolen from The British Museum with Remus. With the tip of his wand he extracted a short memory and gave it a swirl. He dived right into the memory and landed among a meeting at Malfoy's Manor, facing his older self, right beside the Dark Lord.

' _I need you to secure this object in your vault at Gringotts_ ,' said the Dark Lord to Bellatrix. ' _Secure it in the best way you know how.'_

Bellatrix was gleaming with pride for the task she had been given. ' _Of course, my Lord_ ,' she said as she took the small golden cup from his hands and hid it in the inner pocket of her robes.

Severus looked up at his older self – and his older self didn't seem to have cared one bit about the exchange that had just taken place. The cup had been so much more than a valuable historical artefact, and it had passed him right under his very nose.

' _Do you have any more of these artefacts, My Lord_?' Lucius asked carefully.

The Dark Lord petted Nagini, who had wrapped herself around the chain of a locket around his neck, with the tip of his finger. ' _There are six others_ ,' he answered. ' _Nagini here being my most precious, but I'd rather not thread on too much detail. Rowle, have you –'_

Severus pulled himself out of his memory and tumbled back into the bedroom. He sat down on the bed, his hands covering his face, deep in thought.

Seven horcruxes. Except there couldn't be seven as the Dark Lord didn't have Nagini yet. The cup was definitely one of them. Bellatrix doesn't have it at this point, so the cup's whereabouts are currently unknown. He's using things that are meaningful to him. The only thing he encountered something similar to a piece of the Dark Lord's soul was when the diary got destroyed in the Chamber of Secrets. The diary had to have been a Horcrux – and the ring. The cursed ring had belonged to his ancestors. It had to be the third. And then there's the locket. The last time he had thought about the locket was when he had mentioned it to Regulus. That locket could always be found around the Dark Lord's neck – and had once belonged to Slytherin. It had to be another horcrux.

The diary. The ring. The cup. The locket. There had to be something from Ravenclaw and possibly Gryffindor as well. He jumped up from the bed and searched all over the fortress until he found Grindelwald in what appeared to be a room designed to practise magic, and deflected a curse thrown in his direction to catch his attention.

'I need to get out of here,' said Severus. 'I need to speak with Dumbledore.'

'I told you to be careful with that book,' said Grindelwald as he pointed his wand at Severus. 'Your face is covered in blood.'

Severus looked down at his bloodstained hands and realised he must have been rubbing it all over his face. 'I'll wash it off later,' he said as he shook it off. 'I need to find a way out of this fortress.'

Grindelwald took a step forward. 'Too bad you only just arrived then,' he said. 'Care for a duel?'

'You don't understand,' said Severus, growing impatient. 'I need to speak with Dumbledore – and I need to speak with him now.'

'What part of the – you will be stuck down here until the next full moon – did you not grasp, Severus?' said Grindelwald as he took another step forward. 'I'll ask again. Care for a duel?'

'Under one condition,' said Severus, cursing to himself for knowing that all there was left was to be patient. 'If I win – you will have to follow me out of his fortress and meet with Dumbledore.'

'And if you lose,' Grindelwald added, 'you will stay down here until the end of July and tend to all of my needs.'

'Consider it a deal,' said Severus as he whipped out his wand. 'Permission to use anything but the Killing Curse.'

Grindelwald nodded and blasted a wall of fiendfyre at Severus with the same ease as lighting a candle.

Severus clasped his hands together and formed a protective orb around himself, causing the fiendfyre to circle around him. 'Do you always start off with the big spells?' he asked as Grindelwald broke off the stream of fire.

'That's an impressively strong shield you have,' said Grindelwald as he circled around Severus.

Without warning, Severus clapped his hands and the bubble around him vanished. 'Expelliarmus,' he said with a mere flick of his wrist. Grindelwald's wand flew high up in the air and landed straight into Severus's free hand.

Grindelwald started to laugh. 'You managed to finish a duel before it even started. Colour me impressed, Severus.'

'I learned from the best,' said Severus, thinking back on how Lily's son had almost claimed the spell as his signature move. 'All warfare is based on deception. When we are able to attack, we must seem unable. When we are unable to attack, we must seem able.'

'Old words coming from the mouth of a young man,' said Grindelwald as he accepted his wand back from Severus. 'You have won, and fairly, and so I promise you that I will come and meet Albus when the time is right. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if we could duel some more over the course of the next few weeks.'

'It'll be my pleasure,' said Severus.

…

Severus woke up the next day with a nest of little Murtlaps cradled up in his hands, making his hands feel significantly better, and decided to look after them in the weeks that followed.

Helping Newt taking care of his creatures and practising duelling skills with Grindelwald were the only thing that were preventing him from going insane. Halfway through the month he had finally found the house-elf that roamed around the fortress and was reminded a little too much of the house-elf that had lived inside Grimmauld Place. It took the help of Newt and Grindelwald combined to convince the old stubborn elf to search for an Enigma Machine – but only inside the walls of the fortress itself, as the house-elf no longer felt any desire to see what was happening above the surface.

Full moon was only a week away when the house-elf returned and dumped a large supply of Muggle war memorabilia onto Severus's bed. Bayonets, grenade shrapnel, a spy radio, a pile of yellow Jewish stars, a signboard with "Ebensee Concentration Camp" on it, and even a red flag with a swastika on it could be found among the pile.

Hidden underneath the flag, Severus found the machine he had been looking for. It looked exactly like the machine Arnica had been working with in the shed at the Burrow, stored neatly inside a square wooden box.

With a tap of his wand he cleaned off the dust and rust it had collected over the years. He pulled out the piece of paper with the code Arnica had left for him and started twisting and turning on the rotors until all the numbers aligned.

With another gentle tap of his wand he sparked electricity into the machine and placed a duplicate charm on it in the hopes that it would be enough to send out messages even if the machine wasn't hooked up to a network.

"H-E-L-L-O" he typed out on the typewriter. The letters on top lit up in the following sequence; "P-H-G-N-Q."

Nothing happened for a while, until suddenly the letters on top of the machine started lighting up one by one. "B-H-Q-M-W—R-T"

Hastily, Severus grabbed a quill and a bottle of ink and scribbled down the letters on a piece of parchment. He typed the code into his own machine, revealing his own name.

It was a slow process, but he easily got the hang of the system. "E-H-R-C-N—B-T-S-J"

"C-I-M-M-A X-P-P-P-E Q-I-U-G-A W-R-H-T-E Y-O-C-J-O S-M-H-X-J A-E-I-N-G M"

"CONTA CTHAG RIDSE NDLIL ITHTO EBENS EEAUS TRIA" Severus responded.

"C-L-W-N-X"

No more messages came in from whom he assumed had to have been Arnica. With shaking hands, he closed the box and shoved the machine aside. Lily needed him, Arnica had said, and all he could do was wait around for the bridge to lower.

…

When the day of the full moon had come, Severus had packed his belongings as quickly as he could, ready to leave the fortress behind once and for all.

All three men were sitting in the office, waiting for the first rays of the moon to break out on the surface.

'I'm going to take the ship back to Durmstrang first,' said Newt. 'They're going to need it by the end of the summer. After that, I'll contact Dumbledore and notify him of my whereabouts.'

'I won't join you this time,' said Grindelwald.

'We had a deal,' said Severus.

'You never mentioned when I needed to meet with Albus,' said Grindelwald with a grin. 'But do not fear. I will leave this fortress and meet with Albus, but not until the end of next month.'

'What's preventing you from leaving now?' asked Severus. 'There are a lot of things at stake here.'

From his pocket Grindelwald pulled out an instrument that looked like a silver lighter. Severus had seen it before and recognised it as Dumbledore's Deluminator. 'Hand this over to Albus for me, will you,' said Grindelwald. 'He'll know what it means.'

'Fine,' said Severus as he pocketed the deluminator, 'but if I don't see you around the next full moon, I will personally come and get you.'

By the rusty clinking sound of the drawbridge going down, Severus and Newt rushed their way up to the edge of the drawbridge. Severus casted a bubblehead charm around his face and looked up at where the moonlight touched the surface of the water.

The shadow of a bat-winged creature glided over the surface, and Severus knew it had to be Lilith, already waiting for him.

' _You are not an easy man_ ,' said Severus as he turned his gaze in Grindelwald's direction, who was leaning up against the edge of the arch. ' _But at least you are human. I'll see you soon._ '

'We will,' said Grindelwald with a nod. 'Now, go.'

' _I'll see you soon as well, Newt_ ,' said Severus.

' _Remember, Severus_ ,' said Newt as he walked up to the edge of the bridge. ' _Love is the most powerful weapon of any war. Go home and see your family. I'm going to go do the same_.'

Right on cue, Lilith clasped her wings together and dived deep into the lake until she reached the edge of the drawbridge. Severus jumped up on her back and secured his knees behind her wings, ready for a long flight through the dead of night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N "All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near."- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
> 
> A/N There's a website called Cryptii where you can encode anything with enigma numbers and letters. I used the Enigma I model and the same code on Arnica's note on chapter 216 to encode and decode messages. Figure out for yourself what Severus and Arnica typed, if you like.
> 
> [A/N Altered quotes from Grindelwald in the previous chapter:
> 
> "The art of reading and studying consists in remembering the essentials and forgetting what is not essential."
> 
> "I know that fewer people are won over by the written word than by the spoken word and that every great movement on this earth owes its growth to great speakers and not to great writers."
> 
> \- Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf]de messages. Figure out for yourself what Severus and Arnica typed, if you like ;)


	219. From Father to Son

'We made it, Lilith.'

In the near distance, Severus could see the Burrow coming into view. The candles were lit inside the house. Judging by the time of day, the two families inside were probably preparing to go to bed.

Lilith must've sensed Severus's hesitation to touch down. They flew in circles around the grounds of the Burrow for a while, while Severus was lost in thought. Lily was out there, somewhere, and the thought of seeing her again caused his heart to ache. Knowing that he couldn't prolong it any longer, he patted Lilith on her shoulder. Within seconds, she soundlessly swooped down and came to a halt near the shed.

'Who's out there?' a voice cried. 'Show yourself!'

'It's me, Severus,' said Severus as he climbed off Lilith's back.

Molly appeared from the other side of the shed with her wand raised up in the air. 'Merlin's beard, Severus,' she said, and lowered her wand.

'What are you doing out here at this hour?' Severus asked, trying to sound casual.

'What are you doing out here?' said Molly. She had her hands pushed into her hips, and her brown eyes radiated anything but the usual kindness.

'Arnica asked me to come home, and –'

'Just – just wait here,' Molly interrupted.

As Severus watched Molly strut off to the house, he turned to Lilith. 'I think it's better if you head back to the Forbidden Forest,' he whispered into her hear. 'There's an ill sense of foreboding lingering in the air.'

Lilith nudged him against the shoulder. She spread out her wings and took off in the direction of the moon. Severus watched her until she became one with the darkness of the night sky, and wondered what was going to happen next.

The front door of the house flung open with a loud bang. For a split second, he hoped it was Arnica who was running up to him, but it was Erwin instead. His hands were balled into fists, and his eyes – so much like Lily's eyes, were filled with fiery anger. Severus felt himself being pushed up against the shed. With one arm Erwin pushed against his throat, while his other arm had somehow taken hold of both Severus's hands, leaving him immobilized. Over Erwin's shoulder, he could see Arnica and Petunia standing in the doorway. Arnica nodded as if to say that everything would be okay, and walked Petunia back in, closing the door behind her.

'Explain yourself!' said Erwin, his voice filled with emotion.

'I don't know what you mean,' said Severus with great difficulty. Erwin's arm was pressing harder into his throat, leaving him with little room to breathe.

Erwin was on the brink of yelling. 'We had an agreement Severus! _One fucking agreement_! And you couldn't keep it. You couldn't _FUCKING KEEP IT_! WAS IT REALLY TOO MUCH OF YOU TO ASK, AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE DONE FOR YOU?'

'What – do you – mean?' Severus asked, trying to figure out what was causing Erwin's state of mind. 'Please – let me go.'

'NO!' Erwin screamed, and tears started to form in his eyes. 'No. I need to know why?'

' _About what, Erwin_?' Severus asked as he desperately tried to gasp for air. 'I don't know what's wrong –'

'ABOUT GETTING MY DAUGHTER PREGNANT YOU FUCKING IDIOT!'

Erwin's words smacked Severus in the face like a flying brick. He was starting to feel faint, and it wasn't because of the lack of oxygen in his brain. He felt an urge to throw up as panic started to rise from the pit of his stomach. ' _Let me go, please_ ,' he sputtered.

With a final push against the shed, Erwin released him and sank down to his knees. 'I know you don't know,' he said as tears started streaming down his face. 'I know you don't. I –'

Severus slummed down beside Erwin, trying to catch his breath. He felt powerless. Erwin, one of the strongest men he ever had the fortune to meet, was sobbing uncontrollably on the ground, and there was nothing he could do to make it better.

'Erwin,' said Severus carefully. 'Can I please go inside. I really need to see –'

'—you're not going anywhere until we've had this bloody conversation,' Erwin spat.

Severus felt a lump starting to form in his throat. 'I didn't know, and I really need to see her – please.'

Erwin shook his head. 'I just need to know why, Severus. I want to know why my daughter comes home – all alone from a journey that was leading nowhere, _and pregnant_.'

'I don't know what to say,' said Severus, and looked at the door behind Erwin, wondering if he was able to run fast enough to make it inside without Erwin grabbing a hold of him. 'How is she?'

'She's alright, despite the circumstances,' said Erwin as he wiped tears from his face with his sleeve.

It felt as if the pieces of a large puzzle fell into place. Lily's increasingly strange behaviour during their search for Grindelwald suddenly made sense. Coming to think of it, the fact that she was pregnant had been the only logical explanation for it, and Severus wanted to beat himself up over the fact that the mere thought of it hadn't even occurred to him. 'Now what?' he mumbled.

'You are going to come inside, and you are going to sit down and listen to what the grown-ups have to say,' said Erwin.

Severus wanted to scream out that the last thing he needed was to be treated like a child, but knew better, of course. Having been alive for over forty years wasn't going to change the fact that there was nothing that could prepare you on how to raise a child. He was going to be given advice from those who are raising children, and he was going to need it – whether it was going to be a pleasant conversation or not.

'How come you didn't go after her, Severus?' Erwin asked he was plucking away at the grass by his feet.

'Because I found them,' said Severus, not daring to look Erwin in the eye. 'Grindelwald and Scamander, I mean. I had to stay for a while – but I prefer not to talk about it now.'

'Get up,' Erwin commanded as he pushed himself up. 'This evening isn't over yet.'

It felt as if his boots were filled with lead as he followed Erwin to the house. In the hallway they found Petunia with two little boys by her side and one in her arms. 'Hello, Severus,' she said with a look of pity in her eyes.

'Sev'rus!' said Charlie happily as he looked up at Severus. 'You're home!'

'Meet me in the living room,' said Erwin with a huff, and pushed his way passed Petunia.

'Hi Charlie,' said Severus as he shook the little boy's hand. 'I promise you we'll have a longer conversation tomorrow.'

'How are you feeling?' asked Petunia.

'Apparently Lily's pregnant and I don't know what I am supposed to feel,' Severus answered truthfully. He looked at the stairs that led to Lily's room and was tempted to make a run for it, but Petunia caught on.

'Don't, Severus,' she said as she shook her head. 'Yes, she's upstairs and she knows you're here, but you really need to speak with mum first.'

'Do they hate me?' he asked, not entirely sure why he even bothered asking.

'Neither Molly, nor Arthur nor my mum hate you,' Petunia answered. 'Or I, for that matter. For what it's worth I'm just glad that you made it back. Lily needs you right now, more than ever before.'

'What about Erwin?'

Petunia shrugged. 'He's figured out a lot of creative ways to put out the light in your eyes these past couple of weeks,' she said. 'He's not happy – and rightfully so, but I also think he cares too much about you to be able to hate you.'

'Tunia, I really want to sleep,' said a particularly sleepy looking Bill as he tucked on Petunia's shirt.

'Just a sec, Bill,' said Petunia as she petted him on the head. 'It's already passed their bedtime and I'm supposed to tuck them in. But – just get it over with, Severus. They worst they can do is yell at you and tell you what an arse you are – and after they led it out they can finally start talking about what it all comes down to, which is how you and Lily are going to move forward.'

Grateful for Petunia's voice of reason, he pulled her –along with little Percy –into a tight embrace. 'I'll call for you if the knives come out,' he said.

'I'll be there,' said Petunia with a pat on his back. 'Now – go.'

Severus walked into the living room once Petunia had hushed the little boys upstairs. Arthur, Molly, Arnica and Erwin were all sitting on the couch, leaving an empty chair for him to sit in. Arnica got up and walked over to him, cupping his face with her warm hands. 'We have a lot to discuss,' she whispered, 'but I'm glad you came home.'

'Thank you,' said Severus, feeling overwhelmed by the affection she was giving him considering the circumstances. 'I got this.'

He sat down in the chair and felt the four pairs of eyes piercing through him. It reminded him of the time when he had been on trial at the Ministry – only this felt worse, now that it concerned people he cared about.

Arthur was the first one to ask a question. 'How are you taking it in, Severus?'

'I don't think I've taken it in yet,' Severus answered. 'It's a little bit too much for me to comprehend right now.'

'How come you didn't come home sooner?' asked Molly.

'Because I found Grindelwald and Scamander,' said Severus, 'but as I told Erwin, I'd rather not talk about the details now. I want Dumbledore to be here when that happens.'

'What are you going to say to Lily when you see her?' asked Arnica.

'Tell her I'm sorry,' said Severus. 'Tell her that I'm sorry and that I hadn't realised that there was more going on beneath the surface. Tell her that I understand why she hadn't told me, and that I'm not upset with her.'

'Is there anything you want to know from us?' asked Erwin.

'When exactly did she come home, and in what state?'

'She came home halfway through the month of May,' said Erwin. 'Told us she received some help from an American soldier to get her over the border. She was very thin when she came back – like you do, now, but otherwise healthy. The Healers at St. Mungo's told us that the child is growing well and that everything is in order – so that's at least one less thing to worry about.'

'How does she feel about me right now?'

'It's hard to say,' said Erwin. 'She's rather convinced that you don't want children – and her biggest concern right now is that she will have to do this on her own.'

Severus felt his heart shatter into pieces. He had told Lily one too many times that children looking like him would be the last thing the world needed. She had taken it by heart, believing him not to want to deal with any of it. He felt tears starting to well up in his eyes. The last thing he ever wanted was for her to feel as if she had to go through it alone. 'Feel free to yell at me,' he said with a heavy heart. 'Or hate me. I don't care – but right now I really need to go upstairs and have her understand that she is not alone.'

Erwin was about to say something, but Arnica stopped him. 'Go,' she said. 'We can continue to ask questions, but in the end – this is not about us. Go tell her whatever it is you need to say.'

'Thank you,' said Severus as he jumped to his feet, and looked down at Erwin, sensing that he was going to need his permission too.

Erwin opened his mouth, ready to throw up a verbal waterfall, but seemed to have decided against it now that Arnica had already granted her permission. 'Go,' he said, defeated. 'We'll talk again tomorrow.'

As quick as humanly possible, Severus dashed off and ran up the stairs towards Lily's room. He deeply breathed in and out a few times, trying to recollect himself before knocking on her door. 'You got this,' he mumbled to himself. 'You have to.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For people playing Wizard Unite, feel free to add me: 5816 2264 2367 My username is: Platform394


	220. And then There were Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Better go grab your tissues because you're going on a feels trip.

'Lily? Lily may I please come in?'

An unintelligible sound came from the other side of the door. 'Lily, please,' Severus begged. 'I'm not mad or upset. I just wish to see you. That is all.'

'Just come in,' said Lily. Her voice sounded weak.

Severus opened the door and found Lily sitting upright in her bed covered by a pile of blankets. She was holding a book in her hands, but the red in her eyes hadn't come from reading a sad story. 'Sev,' she whimpered. 'Sev, I—'

'—Don't say anything,' he said as he gently closed the door behind him and sat down on the edge of her bed. 'I want to see you first.'

Tears started to stream down her face, not daring to look him in the eye. Whether it was because she was ashamed or angry, Severus couldn't tell.

'I suppose dad already told you everything you needed to know,' said Lily, still not tearing her eyes away from the book. 'I'm sorry, Sev. I am so, so sorry.'

Gently, Severus took a hold of the book she had been reading and placed it on the floor. 'Please, look at me,' he said as he sat down beside her. Her red-rimmed eyes peeked up at him through a curtain of curly red hair. 'I'm so sorry, I—'

Severus interrupted her by placing a finger on her lips. 'I don't need you to speak, I just need you to listen,' he said softly. 'Erwin told me everything. He told me when you came back. In what state you came back, and everything that has happened in between. Quite frankly, it's a miracle both of my kneecaps are still intact.' At that, a sliver of a smile appeared on Lily's lips, and pushed her hair out of her face. 'I'm sorry, too,' he said on a more serious note. 'Because this is not a burden meant for you to carry on your own.'

Severus felt a lump starting to form in his throat. 'I know that I'm not the fatherly type,' he continued, growing emotional. 'I may have mentioned one too many times that children don't hold a place in the life that I am living, and I'm sorry if that may have pushed you over the edge.'

They looked at each other for a while, allowing the silence that followed to bring some comfort. 'Do you still want to be with me?' Severus asked after a while. 'I can understand completely if you don't.'

'I don't think that's possible anymore,' said Lily, who had found her voice back in the silence. 'Not to be with you, I mean.' She tossed the blankets that covered her aside, revealing a firm and clearly round bump where her otherwise flat stomach would've been. She grabbed his hand that was resting on the bed and placed it on top of her belly. 'I don't know where we go from here,' she said, 'but the only way I know is the way forward.'

Severus pushed her t-shirt up to see the soft skin that protected their unborn child from the world outside. He leaned forward and gave it a kiss. A foreign feeling washed over him. It felt as happiness, fear, guilt and pride were rolled into one and formed tidal waves inside his heart. Tears had started to leak from his eyes and rolled down her belly as they dripped from the tip of his nose. 'Sev,' said Lily softly as she caressed his hair with her hand. 'Come lay down beside me.'

He didn't need to be told twice. Quickly he kicked off his shoes and tossed his robes aside, ready to crawl into the bed beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and tossed the blankets back, drawing in her musky scent he had longed for all those months they had been apart. Tears were leaking into her hair as he buried his face in her neck. 'I never want to lose you again,' he whispered. 'Both of you.'

…

Severus had no idea how long they must've laid in bed together. At some point they had fallen asleep wrapped up in each other's arms. It took a moment for him to remember how he had ended up in this position, and then it all came flooding back to him. With his hand he carefully caressed her bulging belly, and felt another wave of tears well up inside of him. His sniffing must have woken Lily up, as she suddenly let out a stifled yawn. He had wanted to say something to her, but her sudden gasps for air quickly brought him back to his senses. Lily had hastily stepped over him and ran off towards the bathroom, all while clasping her hand in front of her mouth. Swiftly he dashed after her, already knowing what was about to follow next.

Lily started to throw up violently whatever it was that she had eaten the night before. Severus took a hold her hair, a little unsure at what to do otherwise. 'I hate this,' said Lily sour after she was certain she was done. 'It's been a while since I've had to throw up.'

'Here,' said Severus as he handed her a towel. 'Is there anything I can do?'

'Not that I know,' said Lily. She stood up and searched for her toothbrush by the sink.

Severus looked at her from the doorway as she busied herself with brushing her teeth. Lily had months to mentally prepare for the inevitable to come. Severus, on the other hand, had no clue on the progression of her physical and mental changes. 'I'm going to go downstairs and see if there's anything I can brew up for you,' he said.

'I'd appreciate that,' said Lily as she rinsed out her toothbrush. 'Sorry you had to see that.'

'Don't be,' said Severus. 'Just go back to bed. I'll see what I can do.'

As he went downstairs, it became clear that it was very early in the morning. It was still dark outside, but the morning newspaper had already been delivered. He rummaged around in the kitchen and managed to get his hands on some lemons, mint, ginger, honey and cinnamon. As he started chopping some ginger, he heard footsteps coming from upstairs.

'Good morning, Severus,' said Erwin stiffly.

'Good morning, Erwin,' Severus replied, not daring to look him in the eye.

'How's Lily?' Erwin asked as he spread the newspaper out on the table.

'She just threw up,' said Severus with a hint of shame. 'I'm making her some tea.'

'What kind of tea?' asked Erwin, growing curious.

'Something to help her with her upset stomach,' said Severus in reply. 'Want to try some?'

'I suppose,' said Erwin as she stood up from the table and joined Severus in the kitchen. 'How did it go last night?'

'I haven't quite wrapped my mind around it yet,' Severus admitted as he cut up the ginger into smaller chunks. 'I got too many thoughts swirling around in my mind.'

'What's your main concern?' asked Erwin as she started to help cutting up some lemon slices.

'Lily's safety, above all,' said Severus. 'And her health. And I'm concerned for the child because I have no idea how the child is developing. And I'm concerned for both of their lives because of this _fucking_ war. And I'm concerned that I don't know how I'm going to provide for them, and…' Somewhere along the way he had tossed the knife aside and buried his face in his hands. 'I'm so sorry, Erwin,' he mumbled. Severus felt a firm hand pat him on his shoulder. 'The tea can wait,' he said. 'Come join me at the table.'

Severus nodded in understanding and sat down at the table, facing Erwin on the opposite side. 'You look like shit,' said Erwin out of the blue. 'Haven't had the chance to tell you that yet.'

'Thanks, I suppose,' Severus sneered.

'You got my daughter preg—'

'—I'm quite certain we already discussed this matter last night,' Severus snapped. 'I noticed she's pregnant, alright? Morning sickness included. That is my child in there that she is carrying, and it's making me feel feelings that I have never felt before, and it's –

'—painful?' Erwin snapped. 'Hard to comprehend? Her belly is only going to grow bigger, Severus. It's going to grow bigger, and there is nothing that you can do about that. _Nothing_. So what is it that you are going to do? What's the plan? Because at this point, there is no more room for thinking. There is no more room for mistakes. Am I making myself clear?'

Severus nodded in understanding and looked Erwin straight in the eye. 'I will be there every step of the way. I will find a home for us to live in. I will make sure that Lily and our unborn child will be provided for. I will—I will…it's just that, it's just that I don't know where to start.' He didn't dare to look away from Erwin's gaze, who clearly wasn't satisfied with his answer. 'You took me into your home,' he continued. 'You considered me as one of your own, and this is how I repay you. I'd hate me too. I'd hate every inch of my very being for putting your daughter in the position that I put her in. And I'm sorry about that, Erwin. I am so, so deeply sorry about the pain that I have caused.'

Erwin's eyes had started to fill up with tears. 'I don't hate you, Severus,' he said calmly. 'I am very, _very_ angry with you, but I don't hate you.'

'You should,' said Severus. He hated seeing Erwin upset. He'd rather have him be angry at him. Anger was easier to deal with. 'You should hate me. It's easier if you did.'

Tears were streaming down Erwin's face, and Severus couldn't help but feel a similar pain well up inside of him. 'If she still wants me,' said Severus as he bit through his own tears, 'then I promise I will marry her. I will give her everything she needs. I just have to find a way.'

The two men continued to look at each other in silence. Tears streaming down both of their faces, unable to say what was weighing on their hearts. 'You better go bring her that tea,' said Erwin eventually. 'She probably needs it.'

'In a minute,' said Severus as he wiped his nose with his sleeve. 'There's one more thing I'd like to say.'

'Then you better say it before I lose my shit completely,' said Erwin, mimicking Severus by drying his tears off his face with a handkerchief.

'I just want you to know,' said Severus with a heavy heart, 'that you are the greatest example I could've wished for. The greatest example, on how to be a loving father.'

…

'That took you a while,' said Lily as Severus re-entered the room. Lily was sitting straight up on her bed, reading the book she had been reading the night before.

'Here you go,' said Severus as he handed her the tea he had made. 'I had a good heart to heart with Erwin downstairs.'

'How did that go?' asked Lily as she took a sip of her tea, and smacked her lips in delight. 'This is really good, Sev.'

'He doesn't hate me,' said Severus with a shrug. 'I know that much.'

'This must be so hard for you,' said Lily apologetically. 'I mean, I've had some time to get used to the whole situation. You've had less than twenty-four hours.'

'I've got a lifetime ahead of me to get used to it,' he said with another shrug, and placed his hand on top of her belly. 'The only thing I want right now is for everything to be alright between the two of us.'

'We'll be alright,' said Lily as she leaned up against him. 'Can I kiss you?'

'Gladly,' said Severus, and found himself smiling for the first time since he had set foot in the house. Lily kissed him the same way she had kissed him for the first time in Hogwarts' hospital wing, and butterflies were starting to flutter around in his stomach as if he was falling in love with her all over again. A wide grin had been plastered across his face by the time they broke apart.

'There are some things that I promised Erwin I would do,' he said as he took a hold of Lily's hand. 'I promised him that I would find a way to provide for you. That I would find a home for you, and that I would be there for you, every step of the way. I still need to figure out how, but I promise you that I will find a way.'

'How did you do it the first time around?' she asked.

'What do you mean, the first time around?' Severus asked, looking confused.

'Providing for Harry, I mean,' said Lily as she pointed at her belly. 'I knew that we weren't together, but there must've been something that you'd done for us?' She started to sound hesitant the moment the words had come out of her mouth. 'You were there, weren't you?'

Severus shook his head, and felt a shiver running down his spine. 'No—no, you got it all wrong.'

'And how exactly did I get it all wrong?' said Lily, growing snappy. 'Suddenly, and very out of the blue, you started talking about our son. After months of finally outing the truth about yourself, you suddenly mentioned that we had a child together. That his name was Harry. And that he was famous, and that—'

'Stop,' said Severus. 'Hold it right there. Our son? _Our son_? When did you ever get the idea that Harry was _our_ son?'

'Because you told me!' said Lily. 'You told me that he had black hair, and that he was skinny. Just like you! And that he had my eyes, and—what are you doing?'

Severus had jumped up from the bed and started pacing around the room. 'Everything makes sense now,' he mumbled. 'Everything'.

'What makes sense?' Lily spat. 'Tell me, Severus!'

'Harry wasn't ours, Lily!' Severus spat back. 'During my first life, you fell in love with Potter sometime around our final year at Hogwarts. It was James Potter you married after graduation, and it was with him that you had a child. At the ripe old age of twenty, I might add. The boy's name was Harry. Harry Potter. _The Boy Who Lived_.'


	221. About the Boy Who Lived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N when it comes to Snape's memories, I consider both the books and the movies to be canon compliant and mix them together where I want/can. Some lines from the original works are used, and all rights belong entirely to Rowling, of course.

'I'm sorry I snapped at you,' said Severus quickly as he saw tears welling up in her eyes, and sat down beside her on the bed again. 'I just need you to understand that the child growing inside of you isn't Harry.'

´Then what about Harry?' said Lily tearfully. 'I don't understand how this is happening, or how it has happened, or –' Lily had jumped off the bed, stomped her way across the room and slammed the door behind her.

Unsure about what to do, Severus kept sitting on the bed and stared at the door. For what felt like an hour, he contemplated on every possible scenario that was unfolding inside Lily's heart, and inside his own heart, as well.

The scratching of tiny paws and the pecking of a little beak at the door pulled him out of his spiralling pit of despair. 'You've gotten bigger,' said Severus as Paul strutted into the room, 'and you haven't,' he said to Leo.

Leo flew up on Severus's shoulder and nudged him in the nape of his neck. He picked up Paul from the floor and petted him as he rested against his shoulder and felt him starting to purr. 'I have to get back to Lily,' he said to the both of them, 'but I'm glad at least the two of you are happy to see me.'

…

Severus found Lily sitting on the swing in the garden. With his pensieve and his wand ready at hand, he sat down on the empty swing beside her and looked down at her tear-streaked face. 'Would you like to see him?' he asked. 'Harry, I mean.'

Lily brought her voice down to a whisper. 'After everything you've told me, Sev, about your past. Everything – and yet you somehow managed to dance around the one thing that mattered most.'

'I'm sorry,' said Severus.

'Have you always known that Harry wasn't going to exist this time around?' Lily asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

'I didn't – until the day you handed me this,' he said as he handed over his wand to her. 'I realised that Harry was no longer going to happen the day the wand that once belonged to him fell into my hands.'

Lily twirled the wand between her fingers. ' _The wand choses the wizard_ ,' she said, mimicking Ollivander. 'Eleven inches long. Made of holly and a phoenix feather core.'

'The Dark Lord's wand contains the same core,' said Severus. 'A feather from the very same phoenix. Dumbledore named him Fawkes.'

'Funny how that works sometimes,' said Lily, and smiled as she handed the wand back to Severus. 'I would like to see Harry. I think a part of me wants to say goodbye.'

Severus nodded and held up the pensieve in front of them until it floated before their eyes. 'Just remember,' he said as he pulled a long string of memories from his mind, 'that I'm not – and will never be again, the man you are about to see in here.'

'That I believe and understand,' said Lily. 'At what point will we start?'

'The day I saw him for the very first time,' said Severus. 'It's going to be very difficult to see what you are about to see.'

Lily took a hold of Severus's hand and squeezed it in reassurance. 'I got this,' she said. 'I have to.'

Together, they dived into the pensieve and landed on a snow-covered cobbled street. 'Where are we?' Lily asked as she looked around.

'Godric's Hollow,' said Severus stiffly, 'on all hallows eve. Your home is a little further up ahead.'

They walked their way up the road until they reached the ruined cottage. The Ministry officials hadn't arrived on the scene yet, and Lily squeezed his hand a little tighter when she noticed Potter's body was still obstructing the doorway.

'There's you,' said Lily as she pointed at the top of the staircase.

'Yes,' said Severus as he looked at his older self, contemplating to enter the room where he had found Lily's body.

They followed him as he kicked open the door, revealing a large hole blasted through the wall and Lily's body bend over the crib, shielding a sleeping baby Harry from the storm that had raged through their house.

Lily let go of Severus's hand and kneeled down besides the crib. She didn't seem taken aback in the slightest by her own dead body beside her and looked right at baby Harry in awe.

Severus looked at himself and watched as he pulled Lily's body away from the crib and held her in his arms, whispering how sorry he was as he cradled her face in his hands. 'We should go,' he said, feeling the old pain rerising in his heart.

Lily stepped away from the crib as the memory dissolved and changed into the Great Hall. The exciting chatter in the Great Hall became overwhelming as a group of first years were led inside by professor McGonagall.

'There's me,' said Severus as he pointed at the teacher's table. 'And there's –'

'—are those the Weasleys?' Lily asked as she walked up to the edge of the Gryffindor table. In the distance the sorting hat had started to sing.

'Not all of them,' Severus answered with a snort. 'Bill and Charlie have graduated by now. Bill was a brilliant student. Charlie didn't care much for Potions unless it contained dragon blood. Percy the Prefect is sitting over there, as you can see – and those two are the twins, and—'

'—twins,' Lily repeated as she looked at the identical looking boys who were staring at the group of first years. 'Poor Molly.'

'Poor teachers. Poor Hogwarts in general, really,' said Severus. 'Their youngest son is also about to be sorted.'

' _There's nothing hidden inside your head the Sorting Hat can't see,_

_So try me on and I will tell you where you ought to be.'_

'What was it really like for you, being a teacher here?' asked Lily as she skimmed through the first years, looking for Harry.

Severus huffed. 'Aside from a living nightmare? Hogwarts provided a safe place for me while being a double-spy for Dumbledore and the Dark Lord. It was practical, more than anything else.'

' _Or perhaps in Slytherin you'll make your real friends,_

_Those cunning folks use any means to achieve their ends.'_

'And it provided a home,' Severus continued, 'in a way that Spinner's End never could. I stayed at Spinner's End over the summers, but other than that, Hogwarts is where I belonged – even if it meant teaching incompetent brats.'

The whole hall burst into applause. Severus and Lily watched from the Gryffindor table as Bones, Boots, Brocklehurst, Brown and Bulstrode were sorted into their houses.

'There she is,' said Severus as Granger was called forward.

'Who is she?' asked Lily as they watched her get sorted into Gryffindor.

'Hermione Granger,' said Severus. 'She, along with Weasley's youngest were Harry's best friends. She had the brains – and I often wondered why she wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw. She was feisty though, which is probably the reason why the Sorting Hat placed her at this table.'

'She seems so certain of herself,' said Lily with a smile as she looked at the bushy haired girl beside her.

'Muggle-born,' said Severus. 'The fact that she could recite all of the Potions they needed to know in their first year proved that she repaired well for her arrival. I also frequently docked points from Gryffindor because she was being an insufferable know-it-all. She set me on fire once during a quidditch match.'

'I know you can't hear me, Hermione,' said Lily, 'but I am very proud of you.'

'There's Longbottom,' said Severus. 'Also sorted into Gryffindor. Merlin knows why.'

'Looks just like his mother,' said Lily as she watched Neville running back up to the stool to return the Sorting Hat. 'I feel like I'm looking at things I'm not supposed to be looking at.'

'You're not,' said Severus. 'The main reason for that is because I can no longer guarantee that these people around you will exist in the future. That one over there is Draco Malfoy – Lucius and Narcissa's son, and here comes Harry, after Perks.'

' _Potter, Harry_!'

' _Potter, did she say_?' someone whispered across the table.

' _The Harry Potter_?'

Lily looked around, confused, as students started to whisper amongst each other. Lily walked up to the stool as McGonagall placed the Sorted Hat on Harry's head, and looked Harry straight in the eye. 'Why is everyone whispering about him, Sev?' she asked without taking her eyes off the little boy in front of her.

'Harry is the only person to have ever survived the Killing Curse,' Severus explained. 'He was hit, leaving behind that lightning shaped scar you see on his forehead, but the curse rebounded and destroyed the Dark Lord's body. Dumbledore believes the curse rebounded because of you. That you protected him with something the Dark Lord has no understanding of. That thing being love. The fact that he survived the Killing Curse is what made him famous in our world before he even knew that he was famous. Before he even knew what magic was.'

'Who raised him?'

'Dumbledore handed him over to Petunia,' said Severus. 'The news that the Dark Lord was gone and that Harry had survived had spread like wildfire through the wizarding world, making Harry famous overnight. Dumbledore wanted to grant him some sort of a normal life before he would be overwhelmed by his fame. I believe Petunia had married Vernon, and they raised him in the hope he would be normal. Of course, that doesn't really work for people like us.'

'Why is he asking not to be put in Slytherin?' she asked, worried.

Severus walked up closer. 'What do you mean?'

'He's asking the Hat not to be placed in Slytherin,' she said. 'Do you know why he's doing that?'

'I don't,' said Severus, leaning in closely to hear Harry's whispers. 'I don't know why the Sorting Hat would even contemplate it.'

' _Well, if you're sure – better be GRYFFINDOR_!'

The Gryffindor table caused the floor to shake from all the loud cheering. They watched Harry place the Hat back on the stool and walk shakily up to the edge of the table, where he was greeted by a very enthusiastic Percy, the twins, and many others who would later become his friends.

The scene started to dissolve and reformed into the corridor that led to the Potion's classroom down in the dungeons. 'We're on our way to his first lesson,' said Severus as they followed him.

'You seem angry,' said Lily as she watched Professor Snape kick open the door.

Severus shrugged it off. 'I wasn't angry. I was unhappy.'

' _You are here to learn the subtle art and exact science of potion-making_ ,' said Professor Snape.

'You really knew how to keep them quiet, didn't you?' said Lily with a grin.

'That's what happens when you are capable of scaring everyone with your mere presence,' said Severus.

' _As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe that this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses…I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death – if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach_.'

'I think I prefer Professor Slughorn,' said Lily with a snort. She knelt down and rested her arms on the table Harry was sitting on, looking at him as Harry tried to focus on Snape.

Severus agreed. 'I would prefer Professor Slughorn over me.'

'He looks so much like James,' she whispered as though she didn't want to disturb the class. 'And yet he doesn't.'

'He looked like Potter, and acted like you,' said Severus. 'It didn't exactly make matters easier.'

' _Potter_!' Professor Snape cried. ' _What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood_?'

' _I don't know, sir_ ,' Harry answered.

' _Tut, tut – fame clearly isn't everything_ ,' said Professor Snape with a sneer. ' _Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar_?'

'He came to Hogwarts really unprepared, didn't he?' asked Lily.

'Wouldn't you have been if you hadn't had me?

' _I don't know, sir_.'

' _Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter_? _What is the difference, Potter, between Monkshood and Wolfsbane_?'

' _I don't know_ ,' said Harry quietly. ' _I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her_?'

' _Sir down_ ,' Professor Snape snapped at Hermione. ' _For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood_ –'

'Was he ever any good at Potions?' Lily asked as the scene dissolved around her.

'Mediocre at best,' said Severus. 'I'm afraid he didn't inherit your talent for it.'

The next scene showed Snape inside Dumbledore's office. 'We're at the end of Harry's second year,' said Severus. 'The basilisk down in the dungeons had been slain – by Harry, nonetheless. Dumbledore is telling me here that Harry had managed to make it inside the Chamber with the use of Parseltongue in order to safe Ginerva. Ginerva is the Weasley's youngest offspring. She had fallen victim to Riddle's diary.'

'I can barely hear what it is you're saying in this scene,' said Lily as she walked around Dumbledore's office. 'And how come Harry knew Parseltongue?'

'That doesn't really matter,' said Severus. 'This scene is about to confirm what I had been suspecting for a while. Dumbledore is explaining to me what happened to Harry on the night of your death. A part of the Dark Lord's power was transferred over to Harry, which is why Harry was able to speak Parseltongue – because it is a talent only reserved to those who are related to Salazar Slytherin. The Dark Lord is through the Gaunt line, which is where the ring came from.'

'What is this story confirming to you?' she asked.

'That Harry was a Horcrux,' said Severus. 'I will explain more about that once we meet with Dumbledore.'

Lily nodded in understanding as the scene around them dissolved again. 'Seven Weasley children,' she said as she placed her hands on her bulging belly. 'I can't even – why are we in the shrieking Shack? Are that Remus and Sirius?'

'Remus was a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher during Harry's third year,' said Severus.

'I thought the job was cursed,' said Lily.

'It is,' Severus confirmed. 'Remus had been desperate for a job, and Dumbledore had offered it to him. He got off easy. He resigned after letters of complaint started to arrive from concerned parents after his secret got exposed. Partly due to me – and partly to himself for forgetting to take the Wolfsbane Potion.'

'Sirius looks even worse off,' said Lily.

'Sirius had spent twelve years in Azkaban,' said Severus. 'He was convicted for the murder of a dozen Muggles. Muggles he didn't kill. It was Peter who had betrayed him.'

'Peter? Lily asked with a raised eyebrow. 'Insecure little Peter?'

'His insecurity is what drove him to the Dark Lord,' said Severus. 'It's the very reason why I've been trying to keep him involved and helped him where I could since the beginning of our fifth year. If you really want to understand what is happening here, though, it's easier if you'd just listen to what they have to say.'

' _Peter Pettigrew's dead,' said Harry. He killed him twelve years ago_!'

'Where are you?' Lily asked as she listened to the conversation between Harry, Ron, Hermione, Remus and Sirius unfolding.

'Hiding under Potter's invisibility cloak,' said Severus. 'I'll come out by the time Remus and Sirius start talking about the time they pulled a prank on me.'

' _you're going to hear me out Ron,_ ' said Remus quietly. ' _Just keep a tight hold on Peter while you listen_.'

Lily listened attentively to the exchange of words.

' _Snape_ ,' said Sirius harshly, taking his eyes of Peter for the first time in minutes and looking up at Lupin. ' _What's Snape got to do with it_?'

'So many words are left unsaid,' said Lily.

'I think Remus and Sirius understood that Harry was too young to understand certain things,' said Severus.

' _Give me a reason_ ,' Snape whispered. ' _Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I will_.'

'Harry really didn't like you, didn't he?' asked Lily.

'It was beyond hatred,' said Severus. 'He loathed me, and the feeling was mutual.'

' _YOU'RE PATHETIC_!' Harry yelled. ' _JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE A FOOL OF YOU AT SCHOOL YOU WON'T EVEN LISTEN –_ '

' _SILENCE! I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT!_ ' Snape shrieked. ' _Like father, like son, Potter_!'

'This is where it ends,' said Severus with a hint of shame.

' _EXPELLIARMUS_!' Harry, Ron and Hermione yelled in unison. Everything went dark as the spells hit Snape square in his chest.

'This is a big event,' said Lily as the next memory materialised.

'Have you ever heard of the Triwizard Tournament?' asked Severus.

'I remember it being outlawed because too many people have died in the process,' said Lily.

'The Tournament was revived during Harry's fourth year,' said Severus. 'Three students were chosen to participate. Hogwarts was represented by a Hufflepuff student, and there was also a student from Beauxbatons and one from Durmstrang. Harry became the fourth student, because a Death Eater had infiltrated Hogwarts and put his name in the Goblet under a different school. Because of it, he was legally bound to participate.'

'The maze you see here,' Severus continued, 'is the third and final task. He had managed to find the cup inside the centre of the maze and took a hold of it at the same time as the Hufflepuff student. The infiltrator had turned it into a portkey, and together they were sent off to the graveside of the Dark Lord's father. The Hufflepuff student was killed on sight, and Harry was used to resurrect the Dark Lord. Peter was the one who did it.'

'Peter is truly a lot more powerful than he looks,' said Lily matter-of-factly. 'Is that them, down there?'

'It is,' said Severus. 'Harry survived by grabbing the portkey back. The reason I knew this is because I was summoned to the Dark Lord shortly afterwards.'

'So young, and so many difficult things thrown at him,' said Lily.

'His life certainly hasn't been easy,' said Severus as the memory dissolved. 'His parents were gone. His fame within the wizarding world certainly got the better of him from time to time. The Dark Lord was always after him. I certainly didn't make his life any easier at Hogwarts – either. But don't forget, he was also surrounded by people who supported him. He had his friends, who went to the ends of the earth for him, and with him. Molly made sure he never missed out on any motherly love – as you're about to see here.'

'What is this place?' asked Lily as she looked around at the dark walls.

'Grimmauld Place,' said Severus. 'This is where Sirius – or his parents now, I should say, lived. It was used as the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. This is Christmas, during Harry's fifth year. I never stayed for dinner, which I thoroughly regret now that I know how well Molly can cook.'

Lily smiled, yet tears had started to form in the corners of her eyes. 'Molly looked out for him,' she said approvingly. 'You have no idea how happy I am to learn that Molly looked out for him.'

'Dolores Umbridge was teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts at this time,' said Severus. 'She was even headmaster of Hogwarts for a brief period, having turned the Ministry against Dumbledore. It didn't last long though – fortunately. It was Harry and his friends who managed to have her dragged off by the centaurs in the Forbidden Forest. I didn't stop them.'

'Foul woman,' Lily stated.

'She wasn't a Death Eater,' said Severus with a scowl, 'but she is the reason why the Dark Lord had free range to expand his followers. The Ministry refused to acknowledge that the Dark Lord had returned.'

'There's something Harry inspired me to do,' Severus added as the memory dissolved. 'I can't show you, but I can tell you that during Harry's fifth year, he founded his own group of students willing to fight against the rise of the Dark Lord's powers. Inside the Room of Come and Go, he taught a select group of students the art of duelling.'

'Did they have a name?' asked Lily.

Severus grinned. 'Dumbledore's Army,' he said, 'and many fought bravely, as I will show you later. But first, here's a memory about one of the hardest things Dumbledore has ever requested me to do.'

The memory of Grimmauld Place in the forest transformed into a scene on top of the Astronomy Tower. 'This particular memory is going to be hard to see,' said Severus. 'I showed to memory to Remus after he figured out my secret of being one of the four wizards mentioned in the prophecy. Harry is here, hiding underneath his invisibility cloak. I immobilized him so he couldn't interrupt what I was about to do.'

' _We've got a problem, Snape_ ,' said the Death Eater. _'The boy doesn't seem able…_ '

' _Severus…_ '

'Dumbledore seems frail,' said Lily.

'Remember the ring I retrieved with Dumbledore last summer?' said Severus. 'I wasn't there when he found it the first time around. He got tempted by its power and got cursed. He knew he was dying, so he wanted me to kill him in an act of mercy; which is exactly what I did.'

' _Severus…please..._ '

' _Avada Kadavra_!'

Lily ran up to the edge of the Tower, her eyes following Dumbledore as he tumbled down to the grounds. 'An act of mercy, you said?'

'One of the hardest things I've ever done,' said Severus as he moved away from the scene, 'and I did it anyway.'

'Is this the Forbidden Forest?' asked Lily as she looked around.

'No, it's a different forest,' said Severus. 'The forest of Dean in Gloucestershire.'

'How come you're walking around with the Sword of Gryffindor?'

'Dumbledore ordered me to have them find it,' said Severus. 'Or his portrait, I should say. This is the year that should've been Harry's seventh year at Hogwarts, but instead, he was on the run with his friends. At the time I didn't understand why, but I obeyed. Now I have a better understanding of what they needed it for.'

They watched as Snape melted a part of the ice in a pool and tossed the sword in it. _'Expecto Patronum_ ,' whispered Snape. A white doe sprouted from the tip of his wand.

' _No_ ,' Harry's voice echoed in the distance. ' _Come back_!'

They could hear Harry running after the doe, which dissolved once she had reached the edge of the frozen pool. ' _Lumos_ ,' Harry whispered.

Lily watched attentively at Harry's attempted to retrieve the sword out of the pool. 'What was your position at school this time?' she asked as she watched Harry dive into the water.

'The Dark Lord had named me Headmaster of Hogwarts that year,' said Severus with a bitter taste in his mouth, 'still believing that I was one of his most loyal followers, until he discarded of me like a pig for slaughter.'

'What do you mean, Sev?'

'You'll see,' said Severus, here, in my final memory.

'We're in the shrieking shack again,' Lily whispered. 'What's happening out there?'

'This is the end,' said Severus. 'If you look through the window, you can see there's a battle happening at Hogwarts.'

´ _The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master_ ,' said the Dark Lord. _The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot truly be mine_.'

'Harry and his friends are hiding in the other room,' said Severus. 'They'll come out any second now.'

Lily shrieked as she watched Snape getting bitten in his neck by the snake, and knelt down behind his trembling body, looking down at the gaping wound the snake had left behind.

Her eyes shifted from Snape to Harry, who had just pulled off his Invisibility Cloak and was looking down on Snape as well.

' _Take…it_. … _Take…it_. …' said Snape as he held on to Harry's robes.

'You're giving him your memories,' said Lily as she saw the silvery substance pouring out of Snape's eyes.

'Yes,' said Severus thinly, looking away from the scene. 'Memories of you and me, and memories of all the answers that he needed in order to understand why I did what I did.'

' _Look…at…me_. …' Snape whispered.

Harry's eyes met with Snape's, and Lily's, as he looked down at the dying man.

The memory started to blur as the life seeped out of Snape's body, surrounding them in complete darkness.

Severus took Lily by the hand and they pulled themselves out of their memories. They must have been dwelling inside his memories for quite some time, as the sun was high up in the sky once they sat back down on the swings.

'If there's anything else you wish to see,' said Severus as he placed the memories back inside his brain, 'you need only ask.'

'It's an awful lot to take in,' said Lily, still shivering from the last memory. 'But I do wonder, was there anything more to Harry, aside from his fame?'

'He became the youngest seeker in over a century for the Gryffindor team,' said Severus. 'He was better at Quidditch than Potter ever was.'

'I like that,' said Lily quietly. She smiled, but her tears betrayed that she was hurting. 'Was there anything else?'

'There were many things,' said Severus. 'I still have plenty of memories left, if you wish to see them. Of his first Quidditch match, where he nearly swallowed the snitch rather than catch it. Of his first duel against Malfoy's son during his second year. Or when I taught him Occlumency during his fifth year – with terrible results. Or when he had gotten his hands on my old Potions book – the one that got destroyed when our lab at Hogwarts was broken in to – in his sixth year and suddenly started surpassing everyone in his class, including Hermione. The most important thing to remember about him, though, is that – despite it all – he was just an ordinary boy, trying to live an ordinary life.'

'I understand that it must have been hard for you, I really do,' said Lily, her voice quivering as she said it. 'But I must know, why have you avoided talking about him for so long? This isn't information you should've kept from me, Sev.'

Severus contemplated for a moment, picking out the right words to say. 'I never told you about Harry – and your relationship with Potter for the matter – because my jealously and my resentment towards them clouded my judgement on their character,' he said as carefully as he could. 'I despised Potter for having been the better man, and I hated Harry, for being the result of a love that hadn't been mine to give. Coming to think of it, I suppose I wished Harry had been mine – more than anything else.'

'It feels as if I've lost a child, Sev,' Lily whimpered through her tears. _'_ It physically hurts, knowing that I have a son that I will never get to meet, or see, or hold, because he doesn't even exist.'

'He exists, Lily,' said Severus softly. 'I knew him, and I knew him because you created him, so I know this to be true.'

'How come you're not upset about this, Sev?' she asked. 'You seem so still about it all.'

'Because the grief you feel does not belong to me,' Severus responded as he gently caressed his fingers through her hair. 'It isn't mine to own. I understand that now. And I will apologize, again and again, until you are ready to forgive me for what I've done.'


	222. The Young Order Meeting the Flamels

Severus learned a lot about Lily's condition that day. Accompanied by Petunia inside Lily's room, the three of them discussed everything that happened at home in Severus's absence. The entire Young Order was aware of her pregnancy after a meeting at Diagon Alley, and all of them, including Potter, have shown their supposed over the past few months. Alice, Mary and Emma had even accompanied her to St. Mungo's to check if everything was in order with the child. He also learned that Lily was due somewhere around the end of October, and if his calculations were correct, it meant she must have fallen pregnant around the time they had left in search for Grindelwald. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing that practically everyone had been aware of her pregnancy but him, but on the other hand he couldn't help but be grateful for the support system Lily had surrounded herself with.

Petunia shared that she made it through her first year at Oxford with flying colours. She also confirmed that she and Gwendolyn were officially a thing and was happy to share that the Lockhart family had welcomed her with open arms, and that she was probably going to spend more time there near the end of the summer.

In Petunia's absence, Lily still had a lot of questions regarding Harry, and Severus figured the questions and the tears probably weren't going to stop for at least a while.

Once the evening fell, Severus moved into Lily's room and laid next to her with his hands on her belly. He wasn't entirely sure if it still hadn't hit him yet that he was going to be a father, or that he was somehow subconsciously suppressing the urge to freak out in order to avoid trouble. Either way, he could feel that his priorities had started to shift. Suddenly, there was something much more important than the prophecy, Horcruxes and Grindelwald. He didn't even care as much about the Dark Lord and his damn war anymore.

He looked at Lily, who had fallen asleep using his arm as a pillow, and realised that this time around she was meant to be his future rather than his past – and there was nothing that was going to stop him from making it happen.

…

The next morning, a handsome barn owl swooped in and landed gracefully on the breakfast table. It dropped a letter, unmistakably signed by Dumbledore, and flew off once it had stolen several cornflakes from Petunia's bowl.

Despite it being a beautiful sunny Sunday morning, Severus was relieved to find an excuse the leave the table. Erwin had been stonewalling him since their conversation on the morning after his return, and probably wasn't going to speak with him again until he had figured out a way to provide for Lily. Not that he blamed Erwin for his attitude towards him. If he had been in his shoes, he probably would've been a lot less forgiving.

Arnica on the other hand, had been a welcoming voice of reason in it all. She certainly wasn't happy with the situation, and had expressed how much she had wanted for Lily to at least finish school before starting her own family. She did, however, explain to Severus that she believed that he could figure it out, and that she was here to help.

Severus excused himself to the living room and opened the letter.

_Dear Severus,_

_I wish to meet with you tomorrow at noon, along with the rest of your family and the Weasleys, at Nicolas and Perenelle's home. I will bring the rest of the group with me._

_Albus Dumbledore_

…

Nicolas and Perenelle had aged, and they had aged to the point where Severus knew their lives were soon coming to an end. They had formally introduced themselves to everyone who hadn't met them yet, and gathered on the terrace between the flowers in the garden behind the mill. The garden stretched out to the edge of the river that ran through the woods, painting an even more idyllic picture than the inside of the watermill did.

'Such a serene place,' said Petunia as she looked around. 'This is a beautiful home you have created with your husband, Perenelle.'

'Thank you, Petunia,' said Perenelle with a smile. 'This is the first time we've had Moldus visiting our home, and I must say, we should have done that a lot sooner.'

Molly, Arthur, Arnica and Erwin were still looking around in awe. 'I can't believe you're real,' said Arnica. 'I mean, we know about you and your husband even in our world. The famous alchemist who discovered the secret of eternal life – but I always believed it to be nothing more than a story.'

Perenelle laughed. 'He did discover it, and we have enjoyed its uses for many years – but our time here has come to an end. Lily, dear, how are you feeling?'

'There are good days and there are bad days,' said Lily as she placed a hand on her belly. 'Right now, things are looking up and I'm getting excited about meeting this little person in here. But it's hard, knowing the sacrifices that come with it.'

'And what about you, Severus?' asked Nicolas. 'How is the prospect of fatherhood treating you?'

'Frightening,' said Severus. 'I have no home, nor do I have a steady income, and my knowledge about infants is close to nothing. I can't help but envisioning myself accidentally dropping the baby once it's born - and that's I'm going to screw up royally, and –'

Arthur placed a hand on Severus's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. 'You're not going to drop the baby, Severus. Keeping a baby alive is easier than you think.'

'I do believe you can do it, Severus,' said Erwin without looking at him. 'You'll figure it out.'

'I'm not so sure about that,' said Severus quietly while placing his hand on top of Lily's. 'Right now, I –'

'—I think I just saw Dumbledore,' Petunia interrupted as she pointed at the house. 'And several others.'

Right on cue, Dumbledore opened the backdoor and was followed closely behind by all the members of the Young Order.

A long ritual of introductions, greetings and questions followed. A large round table was conjured for everyone to sit at, and Perenelle had taken care of an extensive high tea for everyone to enjoy.

'Alright, mate,' said Evan as he wrapped an arm around Severus. He pulled him away from the scene and led him towards the riverbank. 'You and I need to have a little chat.'

'Don't forget about us,' said Frank, followed closely behind by Sirius, Remus, Peter and James. 'We've got a lot of questions on our minds for you.'

'If this is about me finding Grindelwald,' said Severus with a growl, 'then you'll have to be patient and wait for me to share my story with everyone at that table.'

'Are you really that daft, Severus?' asked Sirius. 'You knocked up your girl and we are dying to know how that happened.'

'No need to be so intrusive,' Remus scowled, 'but yes, Severus, we are kind of wondering how you are going to deal with that situation.'

'The truth is,' said Severus as he sat down on the grass, 'is that, first of all, it still hasn't really hit me yet, and secondly, the reason why it hasn't really hit me yet is because my mind is too busy trying to look for ways in order to provide for her. For perhaps the first time in my life, I don't know what to do, and—'

'—say no more,' said Sirius as he shushed Severus with a finger against his lips. 'Peter.'

With a nod, Peter pulled out a small silver key from his pocket. 'The first step is taken care of,' said Peter as he handed Severus the key.

'What is it?' asked Severus, confused.

'I know you must have gotten a little distracted with your side quest on finding Grindelwald and all,' said Sirius, 'but please tell me you haven't forgotten about our agreement.'

'Agreement?'

' _We're business partners_ ,' Sirius barked. 'I promised you I would put all of the profits in a vault for you if we made any – and we did. We _really_ did.'

'I – nearly forgot about that,' Severus admitted. 'Thank you. This really lifts a weight off my shoulders.'

'It's all of the profits, Severus,' Sirius added. 'I know we agreed on splitting it in half, but ever since Lily told us she's expecting, I figured it would be best if you took it all.'

Severus shook his head. 'Sirius, that's not fair.'

Sirius shrugged. 'I grew up in a wealthy family, and now I have another wealthy family looking after me. Thanks to you – I might add. I don't need the money. You do. If you don't want to accept it for yourself, at least accept it for your unborn child.'

'How much money are we talking about?' asked Severus as he looked down at the tiny key in his hand.

'Several thousands of galleons, and growing,' said Sirius proudly. 'I don't know the exact number, but it's definitely enough to live comfortably.'

'Thank you,' Severus mumbled, feeling overwhelmed by all the support. 'How is it possible that the product generated so much money?'

'Because of my dad,' said Potter who had sprawled out into the grass. 'Once he learned about Lily's pregnancy he decided – and also because we didn't know if you would return or not – to help Sirius out with the production in more ways than an investment. Greasy Git Motor Oil is selling like hot buns over the counter in multiple countries now, with the help of everyone here, and the motorbike industry is eternally grateful for it.'

'You did this for us?' Severus asked, feeling even more overwhelmed by Potter's unexpected support.

Potter shot Severus a questionable look. 'I did it for Lily,' he said, 'and the baby. Not going to lie. It's a ridiculous position you two put yourselves in, but this situation goes beyond my personal feeling about it.'

'Thank you, Potter,' said Severus sincerely, and for perhaps the first time, he was starting to see what Lily had seen in him during their seventh year.

'Well I think it's really cool that you're going to be a father, Severus,' said Frank. 'I can only hope to be so lucky with Alice one day.'

'Just do yourself a favour, and wait a couple of years,' said Severus with a pat on Frank's back. 'Thank you all. I sincerely mean that.'

'You're very welcome, Severus,' said Evan. 'I don't think you quite understand how much you've done for us, either. I think we should head back to the table. They're waiting for us.'

…

Once the small talk was subdued, Severus knew it was time for him to speak up about his meeting with Grindelwald. He told everyone at the table about how he had roamed around Austria after Lily had left. How he had gotten into an accident with his motorbike and how it had led him in the right direction to the Ebensee concentration camp. How he had found Newt Scamander at the bottom of lake and how they had entered the moon gate of Nurmengard.

He spoke of Grindelwald, and how he had spent the entire month of June down there figuring out what it was that the Dark Lord had discovered about immortality. Several people at the table gasped in horror as he explained what Horcruxes were, and how he had figured out what kind of objects the Dark Lord had chosen to contain his soul. He didn't tell them how he had figured out how many there had to be out there. Through Legilimency, he told Dumbledore about the exact number of Horcruxes there still had to be out there – and about how Lily's son had been one, figuring it was the kind of information meant for Dumbledore alone.

He also told them that Grindelwald had promised him that he would meet them by the end of next month. 'This is for you,' he said while handing over the Deluminator to Dumbledore. 'Grindelwald said that you would know what it meant.'

'Thank you, Severus,' said Dumbledore as he looked at the Deluminator. 'I know _exactly_ , what this is about.'

Once Severus was finished with his side of the story, another story about the war's progression arose. Umbridge was still at Hogwarts, putting out decree after decree to the point where Hogwarts had turned into a regime.

Because the Ministry was still sticking its heads in the sand, the Dark Lord had managed to find more followers in the southern part of England and was slowly pushing his way up north. Severus tried to explain what he had figured out about the Dark Lord's motives, though he found them hard to understand himself. One thing he was certain of; If the Dark Lord's plan was indeed to put himself in a position of power where he could rule forever, he would start by influencing the younger generation, meaning that he was pushing his way up north for a reason. He was on his way to take over Hogwarts.

On a more positive note, it pleased Severus to hear that Damocles and Catriona had managed to win over several more werewolves to their side and the Wolfsbane potion was now being distributed to several dozens of them.

By ways of putting an end to the meeting, Severus mentioned Igor Karkaroff, and explained that he was a Death Eater who was put in the position of Headmaster at Durmstrang. He also explained that Karkaroff most likely hadn't earned his position through hard work and respect. The information mostly mattered to Dumbledore, but at least now everyone knew it was someone to look out for.

…

By the end of the afternoon, it had become clear that the wizarding world was growing weary, and that the Dark Mark had been appearing on a near daily basis throughout Great Britain. Some wizard, but mostly Muggles were disappearing at an alarming rate, and the level of distrust had started to rise among neighbours.

No-one from the Young Order was planning on going back to Hogwarts. Even Dumbledore admitted that the only reason he was returning was for the sake of his students, but the Ministry's interference had started to weigh down on him and feared the day the Ministry would soon strip him off his position as Headmaster.

It could be tasted in the air that the afternoon had ended on a negative tone. Dumbledore rounded the Young Order up and brought everyone back to their homes once they had shared their goodbyes. The Weasleys, along with the Evanses, also left, leaving Severus and Lily alone with Nicolas and Perenelle.

'I fear this is goodbye,' said Severus as he stood on the threshold of the front door.

'Don't fear it,' said Perenelle as she cupped his face with her hands. 'I'm sure we'll meet again someday.'

'I'm going to miss you,' said Lily with tears in her eyes as she hugged Nicolas and Perenelle. 'Both of you.'

'We'll miss you too, dear Lily,' said Nicolas. 'It has been an absolute pleasure to have met you both at the end of our road.'

'Enjoy your little family,' said Perenelle as she touched Lily's belly. 'We are all born of love, for love is our mother.'

…

'You wanted to speak with us?' asked Erwin.

'Yes, I do,' said Severus.

It was late in the evening, and only Erwin and Arnica were still awake. Severus held up the little key Peter had handed to him. 'Without bothering you with too many details, this key leads to a vault filled with the profits of the business plan I had with Sirius. It's more than enough to provide for Lily and our unborn child. With this, the step of finding a home for us is going to grow significantly easier.'

'Well done, Severus,' said Erwin genuinely.

'This is great news, Severus,' said Arnica.

'Thank you,' said Severus. 'The thing is, now that I have the means to take care of them, there's something else that I wanted to ask.'

A rare smile appeared on Erwin's face. 'Why do I have the feeling I really know what you are about to ask?'

'I want to marry Lily,' he said. 'Or at least have a proper Handfasting until we are both old enough to marry legally. I don't know if she'll say yes, considering the circumstances, but I would like permission from you both before I ask her.'

'Severus,' said Erwin with a sigh, 'I know we're not really on good terms right now, but that doesn't change the fact that you will always have my blessing. Lily loves you, and I know that you love her. In the end, that's all that matters.'

'From the day you set foot for the first time in our house,' Arnica added, 'we've always known that it was going to be you. I can't determine for you what Lily's answer will be, but you have my blessing. Now, go be with her.'

'Thank you,' said Severus. He went upstairs and found that Lily was still awake. He crawled into bed with her and started planting kisses in her neck.

'What you are doing, Sev?' Lily giggled.

'Celebrating life,' he said, and started touching her in places where he knew she was sensitive.

'It's been a while,' she said as she started planting kisses on his chest. 'Are you sure you want to do this?'

'If you'd let me,' Severus whispered in her ear as his fingers travelled down between her legs, 'I want to make you feel good, every day, for the rest of our lives.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Just to give you a heads-up, it's Sunday the 3d of July 1977 at this point into the story.  
> A/N "We are born of love; love is our mother." – Rumi


	223. The Sacrifice of the First of the Four Great Wizards

Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel died peacefully in their sleep, together, on Sunday the tenth of July at the break of dawn. They were buried, side by side, on the edge of the river in their garden.

The funeral had been quiet, and small, and beautiful. Everyone who had attended the meeting the week before had returned. Dumbledore had delivered a great speech on the impact that the Flamels left on anyone who were fortunate enough to meet them, and everyone present agreed wholeheartedly.

Tears were shed as Dumbledore covered their graves with pearly white stones. The stones shimmered in the summer sun as everyone gathered at the round table. Severus and Lily, despite only having met Nicolas and Perenelle a few times before, had a lot of stories to share about them. About how they had accidentally found them here. What Nicolas had shared about his research on Alchemy. About Perenelle being an Animagus, and how she used to look after them from time to time in her Animagus form. To Severus, if felt as if he had lost two of his oldest friends to the inevitable, and it was bittersweet.

The rest of the day was spent sharing stories. Some involving the Flamels. Others not. For once, there were no stories revolving around the hunt for werewolves, or the Ministry. Even the Dark Lord's uprising war had gone entirely unmentioned. For one day, a feeling of normalcy had returned, and lasted deep into the night until everyone had returned home.

…

A faint knocking on the door pulled Severus out of his sleep the next morning. ' _Severus_ ,' said Petunia on the other side. ' _Dumbledore is here to see you_. _Says he's got something important to share_.'

Severus noticed that the sun was barely peaking through the curtains. Whatever it was that Dumbledore had to share with him, it obviously had to be something of great importance. 'I'm on my way, Petunia,' he said softly after noticing that Lily was still sound asleep.

He quickly tossed on his jeans and his favourite band shirt and hurried down the stairs. He found Dumbledore at the kitchen table, enjoying a cup of tea Petunia had served for him.

'Good morning,' said Severus as he helped himself to a cup of tea.

'Good morning, Severus,' Dumbledore responded. 'How are you feeling?'

'Surprisingly well,' said Severus. 'Lily's pregnancy isn't scaring me in the way that I thought it would, and I'm very much at peace with Nicolas and Perenelle's death. How have you been coping?'

A familiar twinkle appeared in Dumbledore's eye. 'When I met Nicolas and Perenelle, I expected to be just one of the many people that would pass through their lives for an insignificant amount of time. I never expected that I would be there to see their end.'

'But how does it feel,' Severus asked, 'knowing the sacrifice they've made?'

'I lost two of my best friends,' said Dumbledore as he cradled the cup of tea in his hands, 'and I lost them to thing you wish upon everyone you care about. The died peacefully, together, of old age, and happy, and fulfilled. It is the greatest of endings.'

Severus nodded in understanding. 'What is it that brings you here today?' he asked.

Dumbledore drained his cup of tea. 'We'll have to walk over to the mill for that. Follow me.'

…

Severus could see Nicolas and Perenelle's gravestones through the window of the living room, shimming brightly in the morning sun. It had been less than a day since their burial, and the absence of them could already be sensed all around. All of their belongings were still scattered throughout the house, but it no longer contained any soul.

'Here it is,' said Dumbledore as he picked up a letter from the table. 'It is addressed to you.'

Severus sat down on the couch and looked at the envelope. In a dark green ink, his name was written on the envelope in a beautiful old-fashioned handwriting. 'What's it about?' he asked.

'I have my suspicion,' said Dumbledore. 'Open it. You may like what you find.'

_Our dear Severus,_

_For many years we have looked towards the future, but now that the end of our lives is near, it is time for us to look back._

_All our work, our research, our belongings…they are contained within the walls of this mill. They will be of no use to us in the beyond, and therefore we must leave it behind once we go on._

_Now that you will have a family of your own soon, we have decided to leave you this house with all of its earthly possessions. It is time for a new generation to take it over and turn this house into a home. Live it well._

_Much love, and until we meet again,_

_Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel_

Severus's hands started to shake as he finished reading the letter, and felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes. 'They left their house to me. They left their house for me and Lily to raise our family.'

'They left you more than this house,' said Dumbledore. 'I agreed with them not to show it to you until after they were gone. It's in here, in this little box.'

From the mantle above the hearth, Dumbledore grabbed a little box and handed it to Severus. 'What you'll find in here is something that Nicolas and Perenelle have managed to retrieve after hearing your story about Horcruxes. They knew where it was and convinced its owner to hand it over, or so I've been told. They didn't tell me from whom or where they got it from, and I have a feeling it's because the place where it came from was filled with a dark kind of magic they would rather not be associated with. Open it when you're ready.'

The small box felt remarkably heavy in his hands. Carefully, he opened the lid and found a small golden cup engraved with badgers on each side. Inside the cup, he found a collection of shimmering red dust.

'The remnants of the Philosopher's Stone,' said Dumbledore. 'The cup has been confirmed to contain dark magic.'

'It's definitely one of the Horcruxes,' said Severus as he closed the lid of the box. 'I better not touch it. I'm going to leave this here for now while I head back for Lily.'

'I'm going to leave you alone,' said Dumbledore with a smile. 'I wish you all the best with this place.'

'Thank you,' said Severus. 'Thank you for everything.'

…

'Why are you taking me to the mill again, Sev?' asked Lily.

'You'll see,' said Severus. 'It's going to be great.'

He had taken Lily by the hand and dragged her to the mill as fast as he could. He pushed open the door and didn't let go of her hand once they had reached the living room. 'I inherited this place,' he said while bouncing on his feet.

He grabbed the letter from the couch and handed it over for Lily to read. 'Sev!' she squealed in delight after she finished reading. 'Sev, this is incredible.' Tears of happiness had started streaming down her face. 'Sev, it's – what are you doing?'

Severus had dropped down on one knee and kissed the bump of her belly. 'I don't have a ring to offer you,' he said as he looked up at her, 'but what I can offer you is a home for our little family. Lily, will you marry me?'

Lily started to laugh through her tears. 'Get up, you idiot,' she said with a gesture. 'Of course I'll marry you.' She kissed him passionately as she wrapped her arms around him, which he returned by pulling her in as tightly as he could.

They held on to each other for a while in complete silence, taking in the fact that everything about their lives was moving forward. They spent the rest of the day at the mill, discovering several rooms and things they hadn't seen before. Old useless things would have to be thrown out, and some remodelling would have to be done before the baby was born, but for now they just wanted to take in the fact that the old mill was going to be their house, their home, and their livelihood.

…

The returned to the Burrow by the time the evening fell. With the box Dumbledore had given him ready at hand, Severus had everyone gathered around at the kitchen table. He announced that he had inherited the mill from the Flamels and that Lily had said yes to his proposal. Molly decided to celebrate by cooking everyone's favourite dishes, and the evening was filled with stories of how and when Arthur and Erwin had asked their wives to marry them, and everything else related to living a married life.

'Before we all head off to bed, there's something a bit more serious that we need to discuss,' said Severus as he shoved the box to the middle of the table. 'The Flamels found this.'

'What it is?' asked Arthur.

'It's one of the Horcruxes I talked about,' said Severus. 'Feel free to lift the lid.'

Arthur carefully opened the box. 'Woah,' he said as he noticed the badgers. 'Isn't this the cup that once belonged to Helga Hufflepuff?'

'Be careful not to touch it,' said Severus. 'It is indeed Helga Hufflepuff's cup. The red dust you see inside the cup are the remnants of the Philosopher's Stone.'

'What's so special about it?' asked Erwin, 'aside from it being a Horcrux, I mean.'

'Helga Hufflepuff was famous for a number of things,' said Severus. 'The obvious one is that she's one of the four founders of Hogwarts. The second one is that she had a special affinity with badgers, hence the reason why they were engraved onto this cup. The third is that she had a gift for food related charms and was never seen without her cup, or so I've been told by mister Scamander. I've been thinking a lot about this cup since I heard about it down in Nurmengard, but for the life of me I can't figure out what makes it so special aside from the fact that it belonged to Helga.'

'I think I know what it is,' said Arnica, her eyes growing wide in excitement. 'Helga Hufflepuff didn't create this cup, did she?'

'I don't think she did,' said Severus. 'Judging by how it's been made, I think it is much, much older than Hogwarts.'

'In that case her badgers most likely must've dug it up somewhere,' said Arnica. 'Do you know what she used the cup for?'

'It's said to replenish itself with drink; mostly likely wine,' said Severus. 'It's also said to go against one of Gamp's Laws of Elemental Transfiguration, as it will refill itself after drinking from it. Unfortunately, there's no way for us to test it out knowing that the cup is cursed.'

'What is it that you think it is, Arnica?' asked Molly. 'To me it doesn't look like anything other than a historical piece.'

'We Muggles have a legend about it,' Arnica explained. 'It goes all the way back to the legend of King Arthur – which I'm certain you know about as well, though probably your side of the story will contain more magic than ours.'

'I think I know where this is going,' said Erwin as he took a closer look at the cup, 'and I also think that the dust of the Philosopher's Stone inside the cup was meant to be a clue.'

'Okay, I'm lost,' said Petunia. 'What is it that you think it is mum?'

'Severus,' said Arnica, 'how long did Helga Hufflepuff exactly live?'

'I know she outlived the other three,' he said with a shrug. 'Her exact date of death is unknown though.'

'That confirms it,' said Arnica with a grin. 'In your world, you only know this cup as one of Helga Hufflepuff's relics. In our world, however, we know it as the Fountain of Life; also known as the Holy Grail.'


	224. The Holy Hufflepuff Grail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written a short story about Helga Hufflepuff titled "The Holy Hufflepuff Grail." You can find it under my account. (And I'm quite proud of it, if I may say so myself).

'Doesn't it make you a little sad, knowing that we're going to destroy one of the world's most important discoveries?' said Lily. 'I mean, it is _the_ Holy Grail we're talking about.'

'If you can figure out a way to destroy the Dark Lord's soul while keeping the cup intact, be my guest,' said Severus. 'Until then, I'm afraid it's better for the world not to know that the Holy Grail even exists.'

Severus and Lily, along with Erwin and Arthur, were at the mill, going from room to room to toss out anything they didn't need.

'Is this going to be the baby's room?' asked Arthur as he opened a door next to their bedroom.

'I suppose so,' said Severus. 'Seems like the most logical place to put it.'

'It?' said Arthur with a frown. ' _It_?'

'Don't know if it's going to be a boy or a girl, are we?' said Severus with a shrug.

'Have you thought of any names yet?' asked Arthur.

'Oh, so many,' said Lily from across the hall, 'and none of which I've been able to settle on.'

'And none of which she's shared with me, apparently,' said Severus. 'I haven't really given it much thought yet. At this point I don't know if it still hasn't hit me, or that my coping strategy has simply turned into accepting it for what it is.'

'Accepting it for what it is is what I did when Molly fell pregnant with Bill,' said Arthur. 'I was terrified near the end of her pregnancy, but once he was born, it suddenly wasn't so frightening anymore.'

'When Arnica told me she was pregnant with Petunia I walked out and started running circles through town,' said Erwin. 'It felt as if my brain was unable to process what she had just told me and I needed to move in order to keep it activated. Fortunately, though, Arnica wasn't too angry with me once I returned home several hours later. I was excited about the prospect of becoming a father ever since.'

'And how did you feel when you found out mum was pregnant with me?' asked Lily.

'It's not so frightening the second time around,' said Erwin. 'I didn't feel the need to walk in circles around town anymore. Instead, I think I started baking biscuits in the kitchen. I must've baked over a hundred of them before realising what it was that Arnica had just told me. I will admit, Lily, we weren't really planning on having you since we figured we were already quite old when we had Petunia. But do keep in mind, we wanted you very much.'

'I get it dad,' said Lily with a pad on her belly. 'Wasn't exactly planning on this one either. But here we are, and the bigger I get, the more exciting I am about meeting this little person.'

'And how do you feel about living away from your parents, Lily?' asked Arthur as he tossed some old quills into a bag.

'It's not as if they're going to be far away,' said Lily.

'Well, Arnica and I are going to move,' said Erwin. 'We've overstayed our welcome at the Weasleys for far too long. We found a little home in the Muggle part of town, so we plan on moving there if we can get the finances in order.'

'But this is wondering news, dad,' said Lily as she ran up to him and hugged him. 'How come you haven't told us sooner?'

'I didn't want to give Molly and Arthur any false hope in case we didn't get the house,' said Erwin as he planted a kiss on his daughter's forehead. 'As a matter of fact, we still don't know for certain.'

'I really like the idea of us all living in Ottery St. Catchpole,' said Lily. 'I hope you get the house, dad.'

'Me too,' said Erwin with a sigh. 'I've grown quite attached to this town over the past couple of months. It's a lot more peaceful than Cokeworth ever was.'

'SEVERUS, WE'RE HERE!' yelled Remus down the hallway. 'Heard you could use the help so I rounded up the rest of the boys.'

From behind Remus, all the men from the Young Order popped into the living room carrying bags full of supplies. 'So, when's the wedding?'

'At the end of the month,' said Severus after he greeted everyone. 'And don't worry, we made sure it would be after the full moon.'

'I brought some cold butterbeers!' said Peter excitedly as he placed a crate full of beer on the table.

'And I brought Lynyrd Skynyrd's first album,' said Sirius as he placed the vinyl carefully onto a brand-new record player. 'Now, where do we start?'

…

Mary, Alice, Emma and Petunia joined everyone by the end of the day, bringing a large supply of gifts they had bought in Diagon Alley for the baby. Within a matter of hours, the entire mill had been transformed from an old-fashioned mess into a more modern – and most importantly – childproof environment.

'Dad's going to be jealous if he sees this brewery station you've created, Snape,' said Potter.

'You should bring him to the wedding,' said Severus. 'I want to properly thank him for what he's done for us.'

'He'll come,' said Potter with a nod. 'Is it an actual wedding or a handfasting?'

'Handfasting, actually,' said Severus. 'If we do it now, we can get legally married the year after.'

'You know, I should congratulate you, Snape,' said Potter. 'I think I've come to terms with the fact that Lily simply shares a greater history with you than she'll ever do with me.'

' _MAMA TOLD ME, WHEN I WAS YOOOUNNGG_!'

They both craned their necks to look at Lily, who was busing herself folding up the little baby clothes she had been given while rocking along to Lynyrd Skynyrd. 'Are you really giving up that easily?' Severus asked with a smirk on his face.

' _AND LISTEN CLOSELY TO WHAT I SAAAYYY_!'

'It's not about giving up, Snape,' said Potter with a huff. 'It's about giving in. I mean, look at her, rocking out like that while her world is crashing down around her. What's not to love? But I know my place, Snape. I just hope that, someday, I'll get to have what it is that you're about to have.'

' _OH TAKE YOUR TIIIHIIIME! DON'T LIVE TOO FAAAST!_ '

'I hope you do too,' said Severus genuinely. 'I think you would make a wonderful father, if the time ever comes.'

'TROUBLES WILL COME, AND THEY WILL PAAAAS!'

'Thanks, Snape,' said Potter. 'I think I'm going to prevent Sirius over there from drinking any more butterbeers. This must be the fourth time we're listening to this song.'

'BABY BE A SIMPLEEEEE KIND OF MAAAAAN!'

'It's a good song,' said Severus, 'and please, make him stop.'

…

'You're saying this belonged to Helga Hufflepuff?' Frank asked as he eyed the cup with suspicion.

'Well, the badgers are kind of a giveaway,' said Alice. 'You really don't know how the Flamels have managed to find it, Severus?'

'Either Dumbledore knows more than he leads on,' Severus answered, 'or Nicolas and Perenelle carried a secret that they took to their graves with them. Either way, I inherited it along with this house, and I intend on destroying it.'

'And how do you propose to destroy it?' asked Emma. 'I mean, a simple blasting spell probably isn't going to do the trick, is it?'

'Gryffindor's sword,' said Severus. 'It's how the previous ones have been destroyed as well. It isn't because of the sword itself, but because the sword has been impregnated with basilisk venom. It's the venom we need.'

'I bet even Borgin and Burkes don't have basilisk venom on demand,' said Evan.

'It doesn't matter,' said Severus. 'Dumbledore keeps the sword in his office. I'll write him a note to bring it with him along with the wedding invitation.'

'Frank, is there anything you know about Helga Hufflepuff that we don't?' asked Peter.

'Aside from the fact that she was the most accepting and inclusive of all the founders?' Frank answered. 'She was never seen without this cup. I know that much.'

'Should I tell them what it really is, Severus?' said Lily.

'Be my guest,' said Severus.

'It's the Holy Grail,' said Lily matter-of-factly.

' _Holy shit_!' Emma squealed.

' _You've got to be kidding me_!' said Remus.

'Are you absolutely positive about that?' asked Peter.

'What in the name of Merlin is a Holy Grail?' asked Potter.

'I figured you purebloods wouldn't know,' said Lily. 'It's an important part of the Arthurian legends. It's also known as the Fountain of Life. Bringer of happiness, eternal youth and sustenance in infinite abundance. It's also believed to have been the vessel for the Last Supper.'

'So it's something similar to the Philosopher's Stone?' asked Potter. 'If you drink whatever's in it, it'll prolong your life?'

'Something like that,' said Lily.

'There's a lot more to it,' said Remus. 'In the books, the last person who was in custody of the Holy Grail was the Fisher King.'

' _The King Fisher_?' asked Severus. He suddenly grew very interested in what Remus was about to say.

'No, the Fisher King,' Remus corrected him. 'There are, of course, many different versions of this story as it is very old. He's also known as the Wounded King, because he was unable to walk or stand. The reason behind it is because was stabbed in the thigh, _and groin_ , which had stripped him of his dignity, and the only thing left for him was to go out fishing. The reason he got stabbed is because, according to the stories, he took a wife, which went against the rules for "grail bearers."

'Wasn't there also something with a sword?' asked Peter.

'There is a story about the Fisher King handing over a sword to Percival,' Remus explained. 'Percival was one of King Arthur's legendary knights of the Round Table. I don't know if it's the same sword of King Arthur himself though.'

'Excalibur, you mean,' said Severus.

'Well, yes,' said Remus. 'Excalibur was given magical properties because of Merlin. At least that's the story we've been told from a wizard's point of view.'

'Do you think the Sword of Gryffindor could've been around before Godric Gryffindor got his hands on it?' asked Severus. 'Because if that's the case, then it could imply that the sword was actually King Arthur's sword.'

'It could very well be,' said Remus with a shrug. 'Timewise it's hard to determine anything as all the records show different dates, but I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out to be true.'

'And what about a locket?' asked Severus.

'Not entirely sure,' said Remus. 'I'll have to look into it, but I think a locket holding a ring that belonged to Merlin was mentioned in the stories of Sir Lancelot. Oh, and James, I think you're going to like this bit. White stags were the symbols of purity, and they guided knights and wanderers during their quest in search of the Holy Grail. Pretty neat, knowing that that's your Patronus.'

'Did it require me not knowing what it is in order to find it?' Potter joked. 'I mean, it's rather cool, knowing that all these objects are related somehow through ancient stories and everything, but—'

'—Sorry,' Severus interrupted. He felt as if his mind was about to explode from all the information Remus had shared, and quickly jumped off the couch. With a towel, he carefully picked up the cup from the box. 'Everyone, follow me.'

The entire Young Order, including Petunia, followed Severus outside to Nicolas and Perenelle's graves by the riverbank. 'What are you planning on doing, Sev?' asked Lily with a tilted eye.

'The dust from the stone is preventing the cup from refilling itself,' said Severus. 'We need to get rid if it in order to figure out what it does. I'm going to pour the dust into the river. Keep your wands steady in case anything happens.'

Everyone pulled out their wands from their pockets and pointed them at Severus. Severus knelt down by the river and started tilting the cup until the first shimmering red grains started slipping out. As soon as the dust touched the water, a bright red light started glowing and spreading like ink in the current of the stream. Wilted flowers along the side of the riverbank started to bloom. The river became clear from any debris, and the dried-out grass hard turned into a lively shade of green.

Once all the dust had been cleared from the cup, Severus placed the cup on the edge of Nicolas's grave.

'Something's bubbling up,' said Petunia.

'It smells a bit like Weedosoros, and it most certainly isn't wine,' said Severus as he held his nose above the cup.

'What's Weedosoros?' asked Peter.

'We brewed it in our fourth year,' said Severus while biting his tongue to prevent himself from saying anything mean. 'It translates to Weed of Sorrow, which seems to be about the opposite of what this cup is supposed to give. I'm not entirely sure if it is though. Knowing the Dark Lord, whatever is in that cup, it'll probably make you feel a lot more than despair.'

'Do you think we could sample it, Sev?' asked Lily. 'If we can figure out what it is, then perhaps we can also figure out a way to reverse it?'

Severus shook his head. 'I don't think we should risk touching it. And, I'm sorry for saying this, but especially not you.'

'Fair enough,' said Lily as she put her wand back in her pocket. 'You should put it back in the box. I'd like to finish this evening with a bit more fun.'

'I've got an idea,' said Emma as they walked back inside. 'If we can get that telly to work, then I have the perfect suggestion for something we could watch.'

'Oh you mean those things called movies, right?' asked Sirius. 'I'd love to see a movies.'

'It's one movie, two movies, Sirius,' said Emma, and a sly grin formed on her face. 'Has anyone heard of Monty Python?'

Remus, Peter and Lily started to laugh. 'If it's Monty Python and the Holy Grail you're suggesting,' said Remus, 'then I'm in. I'm all in.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Lynyrd Skynyrd's first self-titled album came out in 1973.  
> A/N The Fisher King appears first in Chrétien de Troyes' Perceval: the Story of the Grail in the late 12th century, but the character's roots may lie in Celtic mythology. He may be derived more or less directly from the figure of Brân the Blessed (I'm looking at you, G.R.R. Martin). In the Second Branch (of the four branches of Mabinogi), Bran has a cauldron that can resurrect the dead (I'm looking at you, J.K. Rowling).  
> A/N It's lovely that Rowling believes that Merlin was in Slytherin, but it was also impossible because he was already a grown man when King Arthur was born in the late 5th century, and Hogwarts was founded in the early middle ages (around 993, if I can believe the online sources).  
> A/N Monty Python and the Holy Grail came out in 1975.  
> A/N Short version: a handfasting is technically an engagement where two people make a promise to each other to wed exactly a year later. Within that year you're basically going through a trial period of being together.


	225. The Handfasting I

The last things Severus and Lily needed to move to the mill were Paul and Leo. Leo quickly found his home in the chandelier above the dining table, and Paul, in the way only a Kneazle could, had claimed the couch all to himself.

'The house needs a name, don't you think?' said Lily.

Severus and Lily were looking at the arch above the front door, contemplating on what to do with it. 'It's the brewery that needs the name, really,' said Severus. 'What did you have in mind?'

'Lately, my mind feels like a sieve,' said Lily, 'and I blame it on baby here. Do you have any suggestions?'

'I was thinking about naming it _The Kingfisher_ ,' said Severus. 'In memory of Perenelle.'

'Potion Brewery The Kingfisher,' said Lily. 'I like the sound of that. I'll ask Petunia if she wants to paint it above the door.'

…

The month of July had been a month full of changes. Not only had Severus and Lily moves into their own place, but Erwin and Arnica had managed to buy the house they wanted in the Muggle part of town, which meant another move.

Severus had written Dumbledore a specific letter, requesting him to bring the sword of Gryffindor to their handfasting, and also with the question whether he wanted to be the one to tie them in unison. Dumbledore's response had been the he was very humbled by their request, and that he was delighted to do it.

Another thing Severus had contemplated about was who to ask to be his best man. He had thought about Evan, and Remus, and Frank. He even thought about asking Erwin, until he finally settled on asking Professor Slughorn. Even though Slughorn may not quite understand his reasoning behind it, it felt like the right thing to do.

Aside from sending out wedding invitations, Severus's mind often wandered off to everything he knew about the legends of King Arthur. Excalibur and the Holy Grail were the obvious ones. Remus had written him about the locket, telling him that the closest thing he was able to find related to any locket revolved around the Lady of the Lake, also known as Fay, who wore something reassembling a necklace made of wrought gold and emeralds when she met King Arthur.

For Severus, it was enough to confirm that there was a connection with the Dark Lord's locket. Now all that was left was to figure out if the Dark Lord had managed to get his hands on anything related to Rowena Ravenclaw. Remus had mentioned in his letter that he was going to dig through his old history books in the hope if finding any clues, and expressed that they should also speak to anyone who has ever been sorted into Ravenclaw house to share some information about it. Either way, the severe lack of Ravenclaws in the Young Order was evidently felt.

…

The morning of their handfasting had arrived. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday morning, and a light breeze coming in from the west made it particularly pleasant to be outside. Erwin and Arthur had arranged for a large white tent to be set up in the garden. Arnica, Petunia and Lily had fussed themselves over the decorations, and Severus and Molly had arranged a collaboration with a local restaurant to take care of the cake and other delicacies for the party.

Halfway through the day, guests started dripping in one by one. Dumbledore arrived along with professor Slughorn, McGonagall and Hagrid, baring little gifts and a golden rope meant for the ritual.

'Thank you for asking me to be your best man,' said Slughorn. 'But I do wonder, why me, Severus? Why not one of your younger friends?'

'I don't think you fully understand the impact that you've had on my life,' said Severus. 'Nor my mother's, for that matter. I know that it may seem a little strange to you know, but someday you'll understand.'

'Thank you,' said Slughorn with a pat on Severus's back. 'I still don't quite understand why, but I have prepared a little speech.'

'I can't wait to hear it,' said Severus as he gave Slughorn a slight push in the direction of the crystalized pineapple. 'Fleamont, I'm glad you came.'

'It's good to see you too, Severus,' said Fleamont. 'Congratulations on your new home, and your little family.'

'Thank you,' said Severus. 'And thank you for everything that you've done for us. It wouldn't have been possible without your help.'

'You're very welcome,' said Fleamont. 'Now, when will the ceremony start? It's been a while since I've seen a proper handfasting.'

'In about an hour or so,' said Severus. 'I think Dumbledore's setting everything up in the garden as we speak.'

'Ehm – ehm,' Petunia coughed from behind them. 'Severus, can I speak with you in private for a moment?'

'Judging by the way you're looking at me, I don't think I have much of a choice,' said Severus. 'Excuse me, Fleamont.'

'That's quite alright,' said Fleamont. 'I think I see Damocles and Catriona over there with little Bronwyn.'

Severus followed Petunia up the stairs and into the bedroom. 'Is there something I forgot about?' he asked.

'A long time ago,' said Petunia as she rummaged through one of Lily's drawers, 'you and I made a deal.'

Severus raised an eyebrow. 'A deal?'

'Yes, a deal,' Petunia repeated. 'A deal that I would get to cut your hair if you ever were to get married to Lily.'

'I had forgotten about that,' said Severus bluntly, 'and not without reason.'

From the depths of the drawer she pulled out a pair of scissors. 'Sit down on that chair,' she ordered. 'A deal is a deal.'

Severus sat down with a sigh. 'Just make sure it still reaches my shoulders,' he growled.

'At this point I'm jealous of your length,' said Petunia as she started combing through his hair. 'I mean, look at this? It's reaching your elbows!'

'Then why cut it?' Severus snapped. 'The length of my hair is not doing you any harm, is it?'

'First of all,' said Petunia, 'this is your wedding day and you're not supposed to make all the women out there jealous of your hair. Secondly, you've been using your hair as an excuse to hide your face for far too long – no, no Severus, don't start this argument with me. It's painfully obvious that you've been using it as a curtain to hide behind. You're about to become a family man. Your times of hiding are over.'

Severus looked at himself in the mirror after Petunia had finished cutting his hair. He had to admit, although grudgingly, that bringing it back to his shoulders did look a lot better than the long wild mess it had become.

'Severus,' said Petunia as she stood behind him, 'I'm going to be blunt here, but I'm going to say it anyway. Children are not supposed to have children. It's a good thing you now look like the grown man you are.'

…

A large circle had been drawn in the grass in the middle of the garden. Everyone had gathered around, with Severus and Dumbledore standing in the middle, waiting for Erwin to pass through with Lily to give her away.

Lily appeared. Her red curls were bouncing of her shoulders, and Severus found that she was wearing his mother's old wedding dress. His eyes shifted from Lily to Arnica, who greeted him with a shrug and a wink.

Severus took Lily by the hand as they faced Dumbledore, who looked down on them with a wide smile. _'I'm very proud of you both_ ,' Dumbledore whispered so only they could hear.

'Welcome, friends and family,' Dumbledore started off with. 'We are gathered here today to tie the knot between miss Lily Evans and mister Severus Snape. You may clasp your hands together.'

Severus looked Lily in the eyes as they held each other by the wrists. He didn't feel nervous in the slightest, but the fact that she was looking up at him in adoration caused his heart to skip a beat.

'Today, you are holding the hands of your best friend,' Dumbledore cited as he tied the golden rope around their hands with each line, 'young and strong and full of love for you, as you promise to love each other forever on your wedding day. These are the hands that will work together alongside yours as you build your future together. These are the hands that will passionately love and cherish you through the years and will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear and grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will wipe away the tears from your eyes. Tears of sorrow, and years of joy. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children. These are the hands that will help you hold your family together as one. These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.'

The golden rope was now completely tied around their hands. 'If there's anyone against the unison of these two young lovers, they may speak up now, or forever hold their peace.'

Silence ensued. From the corner of the eyes Severus could see several people picking away at a few tears and realised that tears of happiness had started to form in his own eyes as well.

'And now,' Dumbledore continued, 'you may untie yourself from these ropes and kiss the bride.'

The rope fell on the ground as they unclasped their hands. Severus pulled her in and kissed her passionately, causing everyone around the circle to cheer for them.

…

'I think it's time for the best man's speech,' said Slughorn after ticking against a glass to draw in everyone's attention. 'As most of you know, I am Severus and Lily's Potions teacher at Hogwarts, or used to be, I should say. In all my years of teaching, I have rarely encountered such talented students – and I'm very happy to learn that their talent will not go to waste now that they've started up their own brewery in their own home.'

'I didn't quite understand why you asked me to be your best man,' Slughorn continued, 'until I thought back to a private conversation that we had a long time ago. The connection between you and I doesn't necessary revolve around our love of potions, but it does revolve around your mother. You see, everyone, Eileen Prince was also one of my greatest students. She was always there to help me out cleaning up after class, and she was always there whenever I felt like playing a game of Gobstones – which she was always win because she was the school champion.' Slughorn picked away at a tear after he had mentioned Eileen. 'Severus, I don't want to stand here just to tell you what a brilliant student you are. Instead, I want to stand here to help you remember that your mother loved you very much, and I know this to be true since the day she put you into my arms after you were born. I wish your mother was here to see you so she could see how loved you are today. And the same counts for you, dear Lily, because I know how fond Eileen was of you as well.'

Everyone started clapping after Slughorn had delivered his speech. Both Severus and Lily were picking away at a few tears at the memory of Eileen, who would not be there to see them wed, or watch them become parents of their own.

'Thank you, professor,' said Severus as he stood up, 'for reminding me of my mother's love. Now that I'm standing, there is something that I would like to share with everyone before we continue this party. I am not a sentimental man, or at least not in the presense of others, and therefore you will probably never hear me say it again. So please, bear with me. First of all, Lily, I love you. There are many ways to describe how blessed I feel to call you my wife, but I figured I would rather show it to you in the form of a gift.'

From underneath the table, Severus pulled out a guitar case. 'I actually promised to give you this gift on your birthday – but, since we had a bit of a change of plans, I never got the chance to give it to you.'

Lily started to laugh. 'Is that what I think it is?' she said as she started bouncing up and down.

'It is exactly what you think it is,' said Severus. 'Consider it my wedding gift to you.'

'Thank you, Sev,' said Lily after she kissed him. 'Now we can finally start jamming together again.'

'Secondly, there's something I wish to say to Petunia,' Severus continued. 'Petunia, my dear sister, you and I had quite a rough start – and I'm still sorry about that branch falling on your head all those years ago. I am happy that you have found your way as a Muggle in a world surrounded by magic. I just want to say, thank you, for all the love and support you have given me in recent years.'

'Cheers,' said Petunia as she raised a glass of champagne. 'I love you too, little brother.'

'Arnica,' said Severus. 'You have done so many things for me when I was unable to do them. Arranging my mother's funeral. Cleaning out Spinner's End. Helping me deal with the death of my father. Leaving me secret messages to call me back home. Saving my mother's wedding dress even after I had told you to just toss it out. You've always made me feel welcome in your home, especially when things were going bad in my own home, and you never once asked for anything in return. You're always thinking three steps ahead, and I admire your intelligence. Thank you for being my mother when my own mother no longer could.'

Arnica walked up to Severus and pulled him into a tight embrace. 'I love you, Severus,' she whispered so only he could here. 'I am so grateful for Lily to have found you.'

'Last but not least,' said Severus after Arnica had released him, 'Erwin.'

Erwin straightened his back a little, as if he knew he needed to prepare himself for the emotional blow that was about to come.

'Erwin,' Severus repeated, 'or perhaps I should just call you dad, because that's exactly what you have been to be for all those years. My dad. My father figure. My roll model. I know you and I are not on the friendliest of terms right now, and quickly frankly – it hurts. It hurts because you are the man that I look up to, and the last thing I want is for you to look down on me. The most important thing you've taught me is what it means to be a man. To take my responsibility – and to care and provide for the things that matter most. If I end up being only half the man you are, then I would still make a great one. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, because the way you look at me, it matters to me – and I need us to be okay. I really need that.'

Not wanting to speak any further, Severus walked up to Erwin, who had also gotten up to make his way over to him. They pulled each other into a tight embrace, letting the tears flow without caring that everyone was looking at them. 'I love you son,' said Erwin as he sobbed onto Severus's shoulder, 'and I can't wait to meet my grandchild.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N All the way back in chapter 37 when the family is cleaning out Spinner's End, Severus tells Arnica to just toss out his mother's old wedding dress. Clearly, she wasn't having it. In one of those chapters Petunia also makes the deal with Severus that, if he ever got to marry Lily, she gets to cut his hair.
> 
> A/N Full moon fell on the 30th of July in 1977. The wedding is the day after. Symbolically, on Harry's birthday.


	226. The Handfasting II

'Who's that, Snape?' asked Potter as he pointed at the shadows between the trees on the other side of the river.

Severus looked over to where Potter was pointing at. He could recognise the silhouette from the man a mile away. 'That's Grindelwald,' he said. 'Don't tell any of the other guests. I'll go and get Dumbledore.'

Potter shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but nodded in agreement nonetheless.

Severus walked up to Dumbledore on the other side of the garden. 'Grindelwald's here,' he mumbled under his breath. 'He's on the other side of the river, and I think he's waiting for you. Please tell him that if he wishes to enter my home, he'll have to wait until tomorrow.'

The smile that had been plastered across Dumbledore's face since the beginning of the day was swiftly erased as he looked across the river. 'It's been a long time,' he said, 'but it is time.'

'Just signal if you need any help,' said Severus. 'I think it would be wise for him not to interrupt the party.'

Dumbledore nodded and slipped away from the party towards the shadows. 'Are you positive we shouldn't do anything?' asked Potter as he suddenly materialized next to Severus.

'Whatever it is that Grindelwald wants, he can wait until tomorrow,' said Severus. 'He'll just end up frightening everyone.'

'Snape, one of the darkest wizards the world has ever known is standing on the threshold of your home,' said Potter, as if he couldn't believe what he just heard. 'Are you positive you don't want to do anything about it?'

'I beat him several times during our practise duels,' said Severus with a pat on Potter's shoulder. 'He's definitely no longer the powerful wizard he was once considered to be.'

'I still think you should go out there,' said Potter.

'If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were afraid, Potter,' said Severus with a grin. 'I know he's not here to cause any trouble. He's here to meet with Dumbledore – and with me.'

'I just hope you're right, Snape,' said Potter with a sigh. 'It's just strange to see Dumbledore look so small. But I'll find a way to keep myself distracted. Would you mind if I asked your wife for a dance?'

'He does look small,' said Severus as his eyes shifted from Dumbledore to Lily, who was happily chatting away with her sister and girlfriends. 'Go ahead and ask her, but I can't guarantee you she'll say yes.'

As Potter went off to ask Lily for a dance, Frank walked up to Severus. 'Dumbledore handed me this a couple of minutes ago,' he said while showing the sword of Gryffindor dangling on the inside of his cloak. 'Want to get rid of that bloody cup?'

'On the other side of the house,' Severus suggested. 'Follow me.'

Severus grabbed the box and closed the front door behind him when he suddenly bumped into someone. Swiftly, he and Frank pulled out their wands and aimed it at whoever it was that they just ran into.

'I'm so sorry, Severus,' said Scamander with his arms raised up in the air. 'No need to point your wand at me.'

Severus refused to lower his wand. 'Is it really you?' he asked sternly.

'Yes, of course it's me,' said Newt. 'Just ask me anything and I'll be happy to answer.'

'Your wife's sister's husband,' said Severus. 'What's his name?'

'Jacob Kowalski,' said Newt. 'A wonderful Muggle and a great friend.'

'How exactly did we meet?' Severus asked.

'Aboard Durmstrang's ship at the bottom of the Ebensee lake,' said Scamander. 'I handed you a bucket because you still had gills from the Gillyweed you took when I reeled you in.'

'It's him, Frank,' said Severus as he pocketed his wand. 'Frank, meet mister Newt Scamander.'

'I'm so sorry I'm late,' said Newt as he shook hands with Frank. 'It's been a long journey from the United States and this place isn't exactly the easiest I've ever tried to find. Is Grindelwald here yet?'

'He is,' Severus confirmed. 'He's on the other side of the river with Dumbledore. But keep it quiet, please.'

' _What_?' Frank cried out. 'Sorry, I'm really confused right now. Is Grindelwald meant to be here? Why is he out here with Dumbledore?'

'Lower your voice, Frank!' Severus gritted through his teeth. 'Newt, please come inside. You've missed the ceremony but the party's still going. Frank and I have something we need to tend to and I'll be back with you shortly.'

'Then I guess congratulations are in order,' said Newt as he shook Severus's hand. 'I'll meet you later.'

Severus watched Newt disappear through the front door. Knowing him as a bit of a celebrity in the wizarding world, the attention at the party was bound to be drawn to him for some time, which was ultimately a good thing since no one would notice him and Frank to have slipped out.

'I'm still a little starstruck,' said Frank as he followed Severus deeper into the woods. 'Hufflepuff house doesn't have a lot of heroes, but he's definitely one of them.'

'He's a fine man,' said Severus. 'A bit odd, but a fine one. I think we're far away enough not to be seen - or heard.' With the tip of his wand he shot several lights into the air, illuminating the forest ground from above. With the fabric of his cloak Severus picked up the cup and placed it on the forest ground.

'It almost seems to easy, doesn't it?' said Frank as pulled out the sword from his robe. 'Here, take the sword.'

'I think you should do it,' said Severus.

'How come?'

'First off, you're a Hufflepuff,' Severus explained. 'It only seems fair for a Hufflepuff to destroy something that belonged to Helga Hufflepuff. Secondly, we're about to destroy one of the most important historical objects in human history, and I'm not quite sure if I'm capable of doing it.'

'You've got to be kidding me,' said Frank with a frown. 'A piece of You-Know-Who's soul is in here. Of course you can run a sword through it.'

'I still think you should do it,' said Severus. 'Lily's words of trying to find a way to preserve the cup got me thinking about it in ways that I don't want to be thinking about it. It needs to be destroyed, and history needs to forget.'

Frank shrugged. 'It would be rather satisfying, knowing I killed off a piece of his soul.'

'I already took a piece of his soul when I destroyed the ring,' said Severus. 'Evan also got to destroy a piece after he got possessed by the dairy. It's your turn now. Dumbledore didn't hand you that sword for nothing.'

'What do you think will happen when I swing this sword at it?' asked Frank.

'I'm not entirely sure,' said Severus. 'The diary screamed and bled ink when it got stabbed. Now, with the ring, Dumbledore nearly cursed me after being tempted by its power. The ring, too, screamed in a similar fashion once it was struck with the sword. I expect the cup will do the same.'

'Then how come neither of us are feeling possessed?' asked Frank.

'I have no desire for a prolonged life,' said Severus. 'What about you?'

Frank shook his head. 'I can understand why Nicolas and Perenelle did it, but even they had to meet their end – prolonged or not. I got a feeling that life will become rather meaningless if we are no longer limited by our time.'

'Then Dumbledore did right by handing you the sword,' said Severus. 'Strike it, and let's hope the screams won't alarm anyone at the party.'

Frank clasped his hands around the hilt of the sword and dangled it right above the cup. 'I'm sorry, Helga,' he said as he lowered the sword with a harsh blow. A blinding green light radiated from the cracks that formed in the cup, emitting a piercing scream echoing around them.

'CAREFUL NOT TO TOUCH THE SPILLING LIQUID!' Severus yelled over the screams. The dark liquid from the cup was spreading around at their feet, burning away all the dried leaves and flowers in its path and down into the soil.

Severus and Frank ran up the hill as fast as their legs could carry them, and waited behind a particularly large tree until the screaming stopped. From the floating lights that Severus had admitted from his wand, they could see that the cup and had left behind a crater the size of a small house.

'Oof, imagine if someone had taken a sip,' said Frank as they walked their way back down. 'Do you think it's safe to touch the broken pieces?'

'It should be,' said Severus. 'I've been able to touch all the other Horcruxes after they were broken.' Once he was certain the liquid was no longer burning into the soil, he started collecting the broken pieces of the cup and shoved them into his pocket. 'Well done, Frank.'

'Thanks,' said Frank, who was still a little shaky from the blow. 'We should probably head back to the party.'

'Would you like to meet mister Scamander properly?' asked Severus.

'I would like that very much,' said Frank. 'Would you mind giving the sword back to Dumbledore? After this, I don't think I'm ready to meet someone like Grindelwald just yet.'

…

'Good morning, Mr Snape,' said Lily as she kissed Severus awake.

'Good morning,' Mrs Snape,' Severus answered while suppressing a yawn. 'You're up awfully early.'

Lily took a hold of his hand and placed it on her belly. 'Do you feel that?' she said excitedly. 'It can feel it move.'

Severus felt around until he felt something kicking against his hand from the inside out. 'I can't wait to meet you,' he said as he kissed her belly.

'I couldn't really sleep because of baby kicking around so much,' said Lily, 'so I took care of breakfast.'

'Married for less than a day and already turning into a housewife,' said Severus with a sly grin.

Lily playfully slapped him on his arse. 'Carefully now,' she hissed. 'You walked away from your own wedding party to destroy the bloody cup. At this point you don't really deserve me making breakfast for you.'

'Well I must certainly don't deserve you,' said Severus as he pulled her back onto the bed. 'I am one lucky man to call you my wife. Did you have fun dancing with Potter?'

'He's a surprisingly good dancer,' said Lily. 'And I will admit, it's strange, looking James into his eyes, knowing that in another life he fathered a child with me. I'm somewhat glad Harry inherited my eyes instead of his.'

Severus looked up at Lily. 'Do you think our child will have your eyes?' he asked.

'I've got a hunch that our child is going to look exactly like you,' said Lily with a wink.

'Poor soul,' said Severus dryly. 'Now, what about that breakfast?'

Lily laughed as she climbed out of bed. 'Way to change the subject, Sev. I'll go check if the toast is ready.'

Severus watched Lily disappear behind the door, wondering how he ever got so lucky to end up marrying the one woman that mattered most to him. He was about to fall back asleep when he heard Lily starting to scream.

'SEV!' she yelled. 'SEV, THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE WINDOW!'

With a jolt, Severus jumped out of the bed and dashed off to the kitchen with his wand ready at hand. 'What is it?' he asked as he pointed his wand at the window. 'What – oh.'

'What the _hell_ is that?' asked Lily, her voice shaking. 'Is that supposed to be a Patronus?'

'That, is what a Thestral looks like,' said Severus as he shoved his wand back in his pocket. 'Real Thestrals are black, though. This is definitely a Patronus, and I know exactly who it belongs to.'

'He's here, isn't he?' said Lily. 'Grindelwald I mean.'

Severus kissed Lily on the cheek. 'No need to worry. I'll go out and talk to him.'

Severus went outside and followed the Thestral all the way up to the side of the road. The Thestral disappeared into thin air as Grindelwald stepped forward. 'I'm insulted Severus,' said Grindelwald stiffly. 'Not inviting me into your home until after the party.'

'People fear your name,' said Severus. 'I'd rather not have to explain to all of my guests that the one and only Grindelwald is standing on my doorstep. It would distract from the celebration.'

Grindelwald extended a hand. 'Congratulations on your marriage. I hope your wife is a bit more willing to see me.'

'She'll even cook you breakfast,' said Severus as he accepted Grindelwald's hand. 'Please, come in. But first I must know, how did you manage to find this place?'

'The Deluminator,' said Grindelwald. 'It does more than just put out lights, you know. It was the easiest way for Albus and I to stay in contact. This is a beautiful home you have, Severus.'

'Thank you,' said Severus as he ushered Grindelwald inside. 'I will show you around, but first, I'd like to you meet my wife.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The reason why I picked a Thestral for Grindelwald's Patronus, is because (like Dumbledore has a phoenix) he's a powerful wizard who would probably also have a magical creature to represent him. The Elder Wand – containing a Thestral hair – was also in his possession for a long time. Another reason is because Thestrals are meant to be very misunderstood creatures, and I think Grindelwald considers himself to be a very misunderstood man.


	227. The Return of a Lost Brother

Lily didn't know where to look or stand after she had served breakfast on the table outside. 'So, how are you, mister Grindelwald?' she asked in an attempt to start a casual conversation.

'Very well, considering the circumstances, Mrs Snape,' said Grindelwald with a polite nod.

'Please, just call me Lily,' said Lily.

'In that case, Lily, you may call me Gellert,' said Gellert. 'How lovely to see that you are with child. Severus has failed to mention it when he was staying down in Nurmengard with me.'

'In his defence, he didn't know until he came home,' said Lily. 'Would you like some coffee, Gellert?'

'I'd love some coffee,' said Gellert with a smile. 'Severus, could you tell me who's graves are on the edge of your garden?'

'Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel,' said Severus. 'They passed this house onto us after their death. It's only been several weeks since their passing.'

'Nicolas and Perenelle you say,' said Gellert as he looked over at their graves. 'I think I met them once or twice, when Albus and I were still together. Lovely couple. And they hid it well, but they were powerful, too.'

'How was it, seeing Dumbledore again?' asked Severus.

'Difficult,' Gellert admitted. 'Difficult for the both of us, but it needed to be done.'

'What is it that needed to be done?' asked Lily boldly.

'You are probably aware that I share a long history with Albus,' Gellert answered. 'Many words have gone unspoken since the last time we met. Times doesn't heal all wounds – but it's been long enough that now we can say them out loud.'

'Has it brought you any peace?' asked Lily, who was growing a little more comfortable with Gellert's presence.

Gellert shook his head. 'I don't think it's possible to ever truly let go of what you once loved dearly. Albus and I, we're better off keeping our distance, for our own sake. But that doesn't make it any easier in the long run.'

'Where is Dumbledore, actually?' asked Severus. 'I expected he would've joined you.'

'He's at the Ministry in London,' said Gellert. 'Along with Newt, to talk about the problem with the dragon that Voldemort got his hands on. 'Perhaps they'll join us later today. Perhaps they won't.'

'Is there anything you need from me?' asked Severus. 'You didn't come all this way just to drink coffee with us, did you?'

' _The Four Great Wizards who defied Death realigned_ ,' Gellert cited. 'That is what the prophecy has foretold, right? Albus being one of those four, and knowing him, this may be my last chance to prove to him that I am not longer the man I used to be. We're old, him and I. It may not be long until we meet the same fate as Nicolas and Perenelle here.'

'Do you want to be back with him, before the end?' asked Lily.

'I doubt he'll have me,' said Gellert. 'But I must try, now that there's still time. We may not go down as lovers, but perhaps we can still go down as equals.'

'Well I think that's very noble of you,' said Lily. 'More coffee?'

'Yes, please,' said Gellert. 'I must say, Severus, you've found yourself a wife worth dying for.'

'You have no idea, Gellert,' said Severus with a smirk. 'You have no idea.'

…

Severus, Lily and Grindelwald spend the rest of the afternoon walking around along the river through the woods of Ottery St. Catchpole, talking about everything that had happened while Severus was down in Nurmengard. They also filled Grindelwald in on any progressions that the Dark Lord had made in the past couple of months and showed him the pieces of the Horcrux Frank had destroyed the day prior. Grindelwald dug deep inside his mind in search of any information he knew about the legend of King Arthur, but found, to his own disappointment, that his knowledge was limited.

By the end of the day, Dumbledore and Scamander did return from their meeting in London and joined them in the garden for supper.

'I suppose we no longer need Slughorn's memory after this,' said Dumbledore after investigating the shattered pieces of the cup.

'No, we don't,' Severus confirmed. 'I don't think Slughorn needs to be reminded again that he was the one who provided the Dark Lord with information on Horcruxes. We have all the information we need. Now all that's left is for us to create a plan that will put an end to it.'

'I sent out a letter to the McFusty clan on Skye, asking for their cooperation the moment Voldemort appears with the dragon,' said Newt. 'I'm hoping that they'll put someone on stand-by when the time comes.'

'I hope that day never comes,' said Severus. 'We know we are not going to see that dragon until the day we meet it at some battlefield. We need to be prepared for the worst. What I'm mostly interested in is any news regarding Igor Karkaroff.'

'I have sent out a letter in the hope to arrange a meeting with Karkaroff,' said Dumbledore. 'As we are both headmasters of two prestigious wizarding school, I had hoped to create some sort of bond. Unfortunately, I have not received a response as of yet – and I doubt I ever will.'

'I suppose only time will teach us of Karkaroff's whereabouts,' said Severus. 'Dumbledore – Albus, do have any knowledge as to how far the Dark Lord has been able to progress up North?'

'It's complicated to track his motives,' said Dumbledore, 'but I predict that he's going to push his way up as far as Hadrian's Wall. If we wish to keep him away from Hogwarts, Hadrian's Wall will be the place to put up the barriers.'

'That's a very long wall to defend,' said Severus. 'I suggest you call every member of the Order of the Phoenix together – and start cating protective enchantments across the wall before it's too late. If there is anything you need me for, I promise I will play my part.'

…

Newt, Albus and Gellert left long after the sun had gone down. Lily, exhausted from all the information that had been exchanged throughout the day, had decided to head of to bed shortly after their departure.

Severus on the other hand, decided to stay up a little while longer, searching through his old spell books in the hope of finding any information on protective enchantments. He found a few, including some charms with a repellent effect, and decided to call it a day after that.

As he placed his books back on the shelf, a white figure walking through the trees in the woods on the other side of the river caught his eye. Wand ready at hand, he walked outside, wondering if it could be that mysterious white stag again.

'Lumos,' he whispered. With the light of his wand held up front, he slowly walked his way over to the edge of the river. The mysterious white figure was still there, emitting far too much light for it to be the white stag.

'Who are you?' Severus shouted into the darkness. 'Show yourself!'

The Patronus of a lion revealed itself from behind the trees. ' _Are you alone_?' the ghost of a voice spoke through the lion's mouth.

'Regulus?' said Severus as he lowered his wand. 'Regulus, I know it's you.'

The lion stepped forward to the edge on the opposite side of the river. _'Are you alone_?' he repeated.

'Are you?' asked Severus. 'You have no business setting your foot on these premises unless you inform me of your motives.'

' _I am, but I have very little time_ ,' said the lion. ' _I can already feel the mark starting to burn_.'

'I will not speak with you if you don't show yourself, Regulus,' Severus said in a demanding manner. 'I am alone. Step forth.'

From behind the lion, Regulus stepped into view. He didn't look anything like he did on the day he followed the Dark Lord into the Forbidden Forest. He had lost a lot of weight. His robes were ill fitted and his eyes looked hollow, as though he had had a brief encounter with a Dementor only moment before. 'I'm not asking for your help,' he said with a quiver in his voice. 'I'm here to warn you.'

'Warn me about what?' said Severus, trying to sound as nonchalantly as he could. 'That the Dark Lord is still after me? Or that my family is in danger – _again_? It is old news and we are not going anywhere.'

'I'm here to tell you that he knows,' said Regulus as his Patronus dissolved like smoke on the water. 'He knows what it is that you are after, and he's not happy.'

'And how am I supposed to believe a thing you say, eh?' Severus sneered. 'I trusted you with vital information about that locket, and you turned your _fucking_ back on all of us. After everything we've done for you. After trying to keep you away from the Dark Lord and his temptations. After –'

'–I understand why you're upset, Severus,' said Regulus, though the quiver in his voice betrayed that he was also getting mad, 'but this is not the moment to start throwing insults at each other. I will say it again. I am not here to cause any trouble. I am here to help you.'

'And why do you suddenly wish to help me?' Severus snapped back. 'What makes you think that I can trust a single thing you say, knowing what you did to us, those poor Thestrals – and especially to your brother.'

'I don't expect you to trust me,' said Regulus, trying to find back his calm. 'I just need you to listen. As I said, I have very little time.'

'So, he knows, eh?' said Severus. 'He knows that we're after the Horcruxes. Was that it, or is there still something else you wish to share?'

'How's my brother doing?' asked Regulus. 'Please tell me that he's doing alright.'

'He loves you, he misses you, and he also hates you,' said Severus bluntly. 'You were the last member of his family that gave a damn about him – and then you left.'

'I am doing this for my family too, you know?' said Regulus defensively. 'I don't want my parents to hate me, and I don't –'

'—save your breath,' said Severus coldly. 'How did you manage to find me here?'

'I've been following you ever since the day I left Hogwarts,' Regulus answered.

'Meaning, you are the reason that the Dark Lord knows we're after the Horcruxes,' said Severus. 'Correct me if I'm wrong.'

Regulus did not respond. Instead, he bowed his head in shame. 'You don't know what it's like, Severus, being caught in the crossfires of a fight while not wanting to have anything to do with either.'

The anger that had been boiling up inside of him came bursting out. 'I THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW SO VERY _FUCKING_ WELL, REGULUS, IS KNOWING WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE SOMEONE ELSE'S BATTLE! GET OUT OF HERE! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU HERE AGAIN!'

'I have to go,' said Regulus, not biting into Severus's outburst. 'I've been able to fend him away from you and Lily for some time now. I don't know if I can keep it up much longer.'

With a soft plot, Regulus Apparated into thin air, leaving Severus alone by the riverbank. Still filled with rage, he went back inside and found Lily standing in the middle of the living room. She had her hands pushed against her hips in the same way Molly did when she demanded answers. 'What was that all about?' she asked. 'Who was out there?'

'Regulus,' Severus growled. 'The Dark Lord knows what we're after.'

'And he came here just to share that with us?'

Severus slummed down on the couch. ' _Fuck_ ,' he mumbled under his breath. 'I shouldn't have yelled at him. I really shouldn't have.'

'How come he knows that we live here?'

Severus looked up at Lily and shook his head. 'Because he's fighting a whole different battle, Lily. He's stuck in the middle, and there's nothing we can do about it.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I have mentioned Hadrian's Wall before in an earlier chapter. The Wall is also known as the Pict's Wall as it was built to keep the Romans and the Ancient Britons separated. It's also known as the marriage line because it divides Scotland from England (although the Wall is technically on English turf). You can legally marry in Scotland at age 16. In England the legal age is 18. Hence the name.


	228. The Silence before the Storm

It was a warm and cloudless evening. With a book tossed to the side, Lily had falling asleep on the couch with Paul and Leo cuddled up between her arms, snoring softly as the sweet tunes of a Jimi Hendrix record played in the background.

August had swiftly transformed into September. Over the past few months, Severus and Lily had gotten used to living a married life. Their house had started to feel more like their own home with each passing day, and the brewery they had founded had started to generate its first revenue with a little help from Fleamont Potter, Nicholas Mulpeper and Damocles Belby.

With a cold butterbeer and a pack of leftover cigarettes from Sirius at hand, Severus tiptoed out of the house and slummed down in a chair in the garden. He looked up at the full moon and the starlit sky as he lit a cigarette with a snap of his fingers, inhaled deeply, and felt himself relax under the nicotine's rush.

It had been nearly two years since Severus had returned to his teenage years. Today, he and Lily had visited St. Mungo's to check on the baby's development. Once they had learned that everything was in order, Lily decided that she wanted to give birth at home, and preferably with her mother being there as well to guide her through it. On their way back they discussed what names they wanted to give to their child – and by the time they arrived home they had settled on a few.

It was real. Everything about it was real. Every choice he had made along the way had let him to where he was sitting right now – in the garden of his own home, with his own brewery, and with a wife and a child on the way. A normal kind of life that, in another lifetime, he never believed would one day become a reality – or even considered a possibility at all.

An involuntary smile appeared on Severus's face as he thought back to the very beginning. Being woken up to the sound of his mother cooking breakfast. Seeing Lily again on that train ride at the beginning of their fifth year. Every choice he had made since that day had led him to be where he was in this very moment. Suddenly he was no longer alone in the way he had been during his first thirty-eight years. The bitterness that once dominated his daily life had been replaced by gratitude. He now had friends that genuinely cared for his wellbeing. His best friend – and now his wife, that loves him and forgives him. Through her he gained a family that had welcomed him with open arms. He was also grateful for the Weasleys – who at this point were practically extended family, and who at one point in history had certainly looked at him through different eyes.

The fact that his marital life was treating him well didn't mean that everything about his life was in order. To the contrary – the prophecy was nagging him in the back of his mind no matter what part of the day it was. It was always there, lurking in the shadows, reminding him that a long and happy life wasn't in any way promised.

Severus took a sip of his butterbeer and another drag of his cigarette, trying to push back the words of the prophecy to the shadowy depths of his mind.

As he pushed the memory of the prophecy away, others resurfaced. Molly had revealed that she was pregnant again – as was expected. She had admitted that she was really hoping for a girl this time, and both Severus and Lily had to bite their tongue, knowing she would have three more boys before that wish would be fulfilled. Molly would be due somewhere late March or early April. It also meant that, if his calculations were correct, it would mean that his and Lily's child would end up going to Hogwarts at the same time as the twins, if there was still a Hogwarts to go to by then.

He thought about Remus, who had to be in his werewolf form by now. He still didn't believe that he deserved to have an Order of Merlin for the invention of the Wolfsbane potion. Especially since it wasn't really his work to invent. The medal was now lying at the bottom of a drawer in the living room, serving no purpose other than being a painful reminder that he became famous in the wizarding world for simply being nothing more than a young potioneer – which wasn't exactly the truth, either. If the fame had been good for anything, it was that he was now able to empathise with Harry – and how awful it must have been for him to be recognised all the time for something that he never asked for.

Sporadically, Lily had asked about Harry, mainly about the small things. If he enjoyed reading. Whether he excelled at any classes aside from potions. If he ever got a girlfriend. Some questions he had been able to answer. Others he could not. Her last question about him had been roughly three weeks ago, and Severus had the feeling that she was finally able to let the idea of Harry go and start looking forward to the inevitable unknown.

It was a quiet evening. Only the sound of the running river and the soft wind rustling the trees could be heard. It reminded Severus of his private lessons with Dumbledore, where he taught him to rely on his ears rather than his eyes. It had been a wise lesson to learn – and also proven to be useful from time to time.

The sound of the river also brought him back to the evening where Regulus had shown up on the opposite side. He regretted how he had yelled at him. Regulus was caught in the middle of the war. That much he knew to be true. The reminder of how terrible being in that position had been for him in his first life had been too painful in that very moment, and only now did he understand that Regulus was probably looking for way out. Knowing that there was no other way out with the Dark Lord but death – made understanding Regulus's struggle even harder.

Things had been quiet lately. Awfully quiet. Too quiet. There was nothing of significance in the Daily Prophet. No Death Eaters being captured. No Dark Marks signalled. No news on werewolf legislations. Not even Rita Skeeter had anything juicy to share, and Severus didn't like the sound of that. Something was changing. He could taste it in the air, and it wasn't the fact that Lily's due date was approaching. The silence around the Dark Lord had lasted too long. It was as if he had drawn back deliberately to concoct some sort of plan to speed up his progress to the North.

And then there was Grindelwald. Confusing and thought provoking. A man with many wrongdoings to his name. Fighting for the wrong cause – and fighting for love till the bitter end. Perhaps the reason why Severus felt so drawn to the man wasn't because of the impression he imposed, but rather the similarities that he found within himself.

Severus lit another cigarette and went over a mental list of all the Death Eaters he knew. Crabbe. Goyle. The Malfoys. Gibbon. Nott. Jugson. Avery and Mulciber, who's sons had most likely joined the cause by now. Rosier senior, who was still locked up in Azkaban. Selwyn. Jugson. Travers. Rookwood. MacNair. Black. Lestrange. Carrow. Rowle. Dolohov. Yaxley. Greyback, who now had a small army of werewolves serving below him. Karkaroff. Igor Karkaroff's name kept popping back up like an itch you can't get rid of. Dumbledore had mentioned that he couldn't reach him, which could mean either two things. Karkaroff didn't want to respond, which was a very unprofessional move on a headmaster's behalf, or he wasn't at Durmstrang at all. Severus figured the latter to be more plausible.

He extinguished his cigarette in an ashtray and finished off his butterbeer. He went back inside and knelt in front of Lily, rocking her gently so she would wake. 'Lily,' he said quietly. 'Lily, there's something we need to discuss.'

'Must we do that now?' Lily responded sleepily. 'Can't it wait until tomorrow?'

'It's putting pressure on my mind, so I'd rather not,' said Severus. 'I just need you to listen.'

'Alright,' said Lily as she looked up at him. 'Let me help you take the pressure off.'

'I want to ask Petunia to be our child's godmother,' said Severus. 'I may have returned to this life but that doesn't mean that my future is guaranteed – and neither is yours for that matter. I don't want to expect the worst possible outcome, but I must, for the sake of our child.'

'I agree with choosing Petunia to be godmother,' said Lily. 'I think she'll be humbled. Anything else?'

'We need a Secret Keeper.'

'What do you mean by that?'

'Our home in Cokeworth has been burned down because Death Eaters were after me,' said Severus. 'We've been letting a lot of people in this house since we moved in and we've been rather careless about it. I fear they'll track us down here and do it again.'

'That doesn't answer my question about what a Secret Keeper is, Sev.'

'It involves the Fidelius Charm,' Severus explained. 'It's a concealment of information inside a living person. Perhaps someone is willing to keep it a secret that we live here.'

'That's a very secluded kind of life, Sev,' said Lily as she took a hold of his hand. 'How about we start by placing protective enchantments around the house instead? I'd rather not live in the dark.'

'You've done it before, you know?' said Severus in the hope to convince her otherwise.

'And look what happened,' said Lily. 'James died. I died – and a little boy became an orphan because of it. I'll consider a Secret Keeper as a last resort, but until then, I'd rather not.'

'I understand,' said Severus. 'It doesn't bring me peace of mind, but I understand.'

Lily pushed herself up from the couch. 'Let's go to bed, sleep on it, and then continue discussing it tomorrow. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss?'

'Yes,' said Severus as he supported her to the bedroom. 'I miss my motorbike. I'm thinking about buying a new one.'

'Take dad with you when you do,' said Lily. 'Would you mind massaging my back for a while? I feel like a planet going out of orbit.'

'At least you are the most beautiful planet in several solar systems.'

Lily raised an eyebrow up at him. 'You're not helping, Sev.'

'Sorry,' Severus snickered. 'I'll go give you that massage now.'

…

The next morning, a barn owl swooped in to deliver the Daily Prophet. Without bothering to look at the front page, Severus flipped it over and readied himself to make the puzzles on the back. He dipped his quill in the ink and hoovered it above the paper until he realised that there weren't any puzzles to be found.

Confused, he flipped the paper back to the front page. 'LILY!' he yelled. 'LILY, I NEED YOU TO SEE THIS!' Lily hurried her way into the living room and looked at the newspaper that Severus had spread out on the table. A large picture of minister Harold Minchum was printed on the front page with the following rapport;

_**The Ministry of Magic has been infiltrated! Minister Harold Minchum murdered in his own office!** _

_Last night, Minister of Magic, Harold Minchum, has been murdered in his own office. Official reports state that the cause of his death is through the use of an Unforgivable Curse. Several other Ministry officials have fallen victim –'_

'Sev, is this You-Know-Who's doing?' asked Lily, her voice trembling with anger.

'It has to be,' said Severus while skimming through the pages.

_Minister Minchum was supposed to be succeeded by Millicent Bagnold, but is currently held hostage_ –'

'Who's currently in position?' asked Lily. 'Who has taken a hold of the bloody Ministry?'

Severus skipped through several pages of the paper until he found what he was looking for.

_Ministry officials are currently held hostage inside the Ministry. Control has been taken over by a man who has been identified as Corban Yaxley – a known Death Eater. He is currently –'_

'Where's Arthur?' asked Lily as she looked up from the paper. 'Please don't tell me he's at the Ministry. We should –'

'—Not worry about me,' said Arthur as he came running through the front door. 'Molly, the children, Erwin and Arnica are also on their way. Petunia's still with her girlfriend in Oxford, right?'

'She'll know what's happening by now,' said Lily. 'I can only hope that the Lockhart family will know what to do.'

Arthur lowered his voice. 'Severus, I need you to listen to me carefully. Dark Marks are popping up all over the country as we speak. As soon as our families arrive, we're going to start casting enchantments around this place. We need to keep this place off the grid. They've been looking for you before. They'll come looking for you again.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Full moon was on the 27th of September in 1977.  
> A/N Millicent Bagnold was the Minister of Magic on the night that Harry Potter survived the Dark Lord's curse, and defended the wizarding celebrations all over Britain with the words, "I assert our inalienable right to party."


	229. This Means War

As soon as their families were inside, Severus, along with Arthur, started casting every charm he could think of around the boundaries of his home. Once he was certain that his home was completely invisible to the outside world, he went back inside where he found everyone gathered around the newspaper.

'Dumbledore's been sacked the night before the infiltration,' said Molly as she pointed at a tiny article printed on the last page. 'Dolores Umbridge has taken over his position as headmistress.'

'I'd hate to say it, but Umbridge ruling over Hogwarts is the least of our concerns right now,' said Severus. 'She may be a foul woman, but she's loyal to the Ministry and she's certainly not a Death Eater. However, she still has Dementors crawling around the grounds. Their loyalty is easily persuaded by the one who feeds them the most. If the Dark Lord somehow manages to push past the boundaries set up along Hadrian's Wall, then we have – well, then we have a problem.'

'But what about Dumbledore?' asked Erwin. 'Where is he now?'

'Is there nothing in the paper about his whereabouts?' asked Severus.

'Nothing that I've been able to find,' said Erwin.

'That means he's found a proper place to hide,' said Severus. 'He knew the Ministry would be overthrown as soon as the Minister would fire him from his position as headmaster. Once the news starts to travel that Dumbledore's been sacked, the people will start pointing fingers at him regarding the Minister's death. Everything has been perfectly planned.'

'But the _entire_ Ministry has been overthrown by Death Eaters,' said Arnica. 'Why would people start pointing fingers at Dumbledore if there's an actual Death Eater sitting on the Minister's seat? And what about the Aurors?'

'Most of the Aurors are still being held hostage if they haven't been murdered by now,' said Severus. 'Azkaban is going to be weakened – and will probably break soon. And to answer you first question, Arnica, do you remember how that worked during your war? It's much easier to put the blame on people that are in a weaker position.'

'I get what you're saying, Severus,' said Arnica, looking defeated. 'Now what? Do we just sit here and wait for it to pass, or are we actually going to go out and do something about this mess?'

Severus paced around the room with Charlie following him at his heels. 'I can't send Leo out,' he said, thinking to himself out loud. 'The thing we need most right now is a way to contact the Order of the Phoenix. I need contact with someone who knows what's happening out there. If only Dumbledore –'

'Sev'rus,' said Charlie as he pulled on Severus's shirt. 'Sev'rus, I—'

'—Sorry, not right now, Charlie,' said Severus as he waved the little boy off. 'I need to think.'

'But, Sev'rus, I—'

'—I mean it, Charlie,' Severus snapped.

'Sev, I think Charlie's got something for you,' said Lily.

Severus looked down at Charlie, who had wrapped his arms around one of his legs. 'Sorry,' he said. 'You got something for me?'

From the little pocket of his trousers, Charlie pulled out a silver lighter. 'Dumb'dore gave it to me, so I could play with the fire,' he said. 'Sometimes I can hear voices, too.'

Everyone in the living room fell quiet. 'Voices?' Severus repeated. 'What do you mean by "voices?"

Charlie shrugged. 'Heard someone say something about dragons. I also hear people talking about London, and Hogwarts. I can't hear well, most of the time.'

'Thank you, Charlie,' said Severus as he held up the lighter. 'Do you mind if I borrow this?'

Charlie shrugged again. 'I'm going upstairs to play with Bill.'

As Charlie skipped out of the living room, everyone else flocked together to look at what Severus was holding in his hands.

'That's no ordinary lighter, is it?' said Erwin.

'It's a Deluminator,' said Severus. 'It extinguishes lights.' With a swift motion of his thumb, he spun the Deluminator's wheel. The nearest lightbulb in the living room switched off, leaving a little ball of light to travel towards the Deluminator, where it got swallowed whole. He spun the wheel again, causing the little ball of light to spring up, and travel back to the lightbulb.

'Fun,' said Arnica, 'but what exactly does it do?'

'Charlie mentioned voices,' said Severus, 'and I don't think it's just his imagination running wild.' He held the Deluminator up to his ear. 'It's not voices I'm hearing, but there's definitely something static in the air.'

Severus handed over the Deluminator for Lily to hear. 'That's definitely static. Do you think there's a way to tune in, like with a radio?' She felt around the Deluminator for any hidden wheels or buttons, but didn't find any.

'Can I take a closer look?' asked Arnica. She looked at the silver instrument from every angle, but like Lily, she found nothing. 'In the military many things were encrypted with codes – like with the Enigma machines. Perhaps this works in a similar way?'

'We used a lot of secret codes and messages in the military,' said Erwin, was who now looking at the Deluminator. 'I think Arnica is right. Perhaps it is protected with some sort of code, but not an actual code and more like a password.'

Severus took the Deluminator from Erwin's hands. 'Password protected you say,' he mumbled, mostly to himself. 'Dumbledore.' He held up the Deluminator to his ear, but nothing happened. 'Hogwarts. Phoenix. Gryffindor. Gellert Grindelwald. Order of the Phoenix. Voldemort.'

Still, nothing happened. 'Ottery St. Catchpole,' said Lily. 'Merlin. Slytherin. Dementors. Dolores Umbridge. Horcrux.'

'Hufflepuff,' said Arthur. 'Ravenclaw. Hogwarts express. Ministry of Magic.'

'Basilisk.' 'Hadrian's Wall.' 'History of Magic.' 'Nurmengard.' 'The Burrow.' 'Death Eaters.' 'Diagon Alley.' 'Hogsmeade.' 'Quidditch.' 'Transfiguration.' 'Potions.' 'Kingfisher.' 'Flamel.'

'Young Order.'

'… _there still hasn't been any information on Dumbledore's whereabouts_ …'

Hastily, Severus placed the Deluminator on the coffee table while the rest formed a circle around it.

'… _there's been another attack in Diagon Alley…'_

'Hello,' said Severus to the Deluminator. 'Is anyone there?'

' _Severus, is that you_?'

'Yes, it's me,' said Severus. 'Is that you, Frank?'

' _Oh thank goodness, Severus! Yes, it's me_. _And before you start asking any questions, I already did a headcount and everyone's safe – although things aren't that great here in Diagon Alley. There are Dark Marks popping up everywhere. We're preparing to run._ '

'What about Petunia?' asked Lily. 'do you also have any news from her?'

' _I'm here_ ,' Petunia's voice echoed through the static. ' _There's been an attack on the other side of Oxford, but we're safe. Mrs Lockhart is taking care of all the precautions she can think of. Gilderoy is helping her out as we speak.'_

'I'm so glad to hear you're safe, Petunia,' said Arnica with tears in her eyes.

' _I'll be okay, mum – and dad, I'm sure you're there as well_.'

'It's good to hear your voice, Petunia,' said Erwin with a sigh of relief. 'Are you positive that you're safe enough out there?'

' _I'm positive_ ,' said Petunia. ' _If there are any developments on your end, let me know right away. Gwendolyn needs my help with something_.'

'Frank, do you know where everyone is currently located,' asked Severus.

' _James, Sirius and Peter are with me in Hexworthy_ ,' said Remus. ' _We were actually supposed to head to London today to visit the Halfway House_.'

' _Emma, Evan and Alice and are with me_ ,' said Frank. ' _And mum, of course_.'

' _I'm by myself_ ,' said Mary. ' _I was also supposed to head to London today_. _My father works at the Ministry – and I have no idea if he's dead or alive_. _My mum's still in Greece with her sister. I don't know if she's aware of what's happening here, but I hope she stays in Greece while this is happening_.'

'How are you feeling, Mary?' asked Lily. 'You must be terrified.'

' _I'm more pissed off than anything else_ ,' said Mary sharply. ' _I'm casting protective enchantments around the house as we speak. If anyone figures out a way to get together – let me know_.'

'Where are you preparing to run to, Frank? asked Severus.

' _Just – out_ ,' said Frank. ' _Severus, it's more than just Dark Marks appearing everywhere. There are voices echoing through the air. I suspect they're Death Eaters spreading You-Know-Who's message._ _Can't you hear anything from where you're at?'_

Severus opened a window. ' _I can't hear anything here. The sky is as clear as the day before. What is the message they're sending_?'

' _Hear it for yourself_ ,' said Frank. ' _I'm going to crawl up to the window_.'

It was hard to make up what the voices were saying. Different messages were flowing into each other.

' _The Ministry has been overthrown_ …'

'… _anyone affiliated with the Order of the Phoenix will be executed on sight…_ '

'… _Any sighting of Albus Dumbledore must be reported to…'_

' _Dementors will roam the streets at midnight…'_

'… _Corban Yaxley has been appointed as the new…'_

' _The Muggle-born Registration Commission is now working full…'_

'… _if Severus Snape has been sighted, he must be reported to the Authorities. A reward will be given in the sum of…'_

'I've heard enough, Frank,' said Severus quickly, preventing anyone from speaking up after hearing his name. 'Frank, I need you to listen to me very carefully, because what I'm about to ask of you is going to be very dangerous.'

' _Loud and clear_ ,' Frank answered. ' _What do you need me to do_?'

'First of all,' said Severus, 'I need you to set up a decoy Portkey. Portkeys will be heavily monitored by now, meaning they will instantly trace it. As soon as that Portkey leaves, go north. This battle is coming, Frank. This battle is coming whether we like it or not.'

' _Anything else you need me to do, Severus_?'

'Cast "Sonorus" on your Deluminator as you set up the Portkey. I need the Dark Lord to hear me. Take the Deluminator with you as soon as you leave. I hope to get my message across as soon as I can.'

'Sev,' Lily shrieked. 'Could you at least enlighten me of your plan before you toss yourself into the fire?'

Severus bit his lip, knowing that there was nothing he could say to make it easier on Lily, and continued to speak with Frank. 'Do it now, Frank.'

' _We'll see you on the other side, I hope_ ,' said Frank on the other side of the line. ' _Sonorus_.'

Severus picked up the Deluminator as he started pacing around the room. 'This is a message for the Dark Lord,' he said. 'If you wish to speak with me, meet me on top of Bellever's Tor. Come alone, unarmed, and face me as your equal.'

' _WE HAVE TO GO, SEVERUS,'_ yelled Frank. Severus could hear the click of the Deluminator switching off the lights on the other end. ' _I CAN SEE THEY'VE RECEIVED YOUR MESSAGE!'_

'Have you heard what I said, Remus? _'_

' _Heard you loud and clear_ ,' said Remus. Despite the static, the quiver of fear was still prominent in his voice.

' _Well – FUCK_!' they could hear Sirius yelling in the distance. ' _We are truly royally fucked, aren't we_?'

'Not if you do exactly as I say,' said Severus. 'I'll meet you there.'

Severus handed the Deluminator over to Lily and pulled her into a tight embrace. 'I'm so sorry,' he whispered. 'I'm sorry, but I have to go and face this.'

'I can't do this without you, Sev,' said Lily while drying her tears. 'I can barely roll out of bed without your help. I can't do this –' Lily sank down onto her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

Severus sank down to his knees in front of her and cupped her face in his hands. 'Lily, where is that Gryffindor courage that I so admire in you?'

'I rubbed it off on you, or so it seems,' said Lily as she looked him in the eye. 'I just can't stand the thought of losing you, Sev. Not like this. Not now that we're weeks away from having a family of our own.'

Severus kissed the top of her belly, and then proceeded to kiss Lily on her lips. 'This is not the end,' he said. 'I love you. I will come back to you.'

'I wish I could stand beside you while you face him,' Lily whispered.

'There's that Gryffindor courage I was talking about,' said Severus with a smile. 'Don't you worry. I haven't forgotten my Slytherin cunning, and they come in the form of four creatures standing guard while I speak to him.'

Erwin folded his hands protectively around Lily's shoulders. 'Go,' he said to Severus. 'We'll take it from here.'


	230. Before the Battle

Severus turned around one last time to look at his home before heading off into the woods. He knew there was a chance he wasn't going to make it out alive, and the thought of Lily being left behind to care for their child on her own caused his heart to ache. Still, if he didn't go, the chance of Lily and their child not making it through this war alive at all would be far worse. He had to pick his battles, and protecting the lives of his family far outweighed protecting his own.

'Lilith, I know you're out here,' he yelled through the trees. 'We've got something important to do.'

As swiftly as a bat, Lilith swooped down from the skies and landed in front of Severus. 'Good girl,' he said as he petted her manes. 'We need to get to Dartmoor, and quick.'

Within a matter of minutes, Severus and Lilith were flying over the moor. There were no Dark Marks to be found here, either, as if the Dark Lord hadn't deemed this part of the country magical enough to care about. They swooped down and landed on top of Bellever Tor.

The last time Severus was here was when he had been surrounded by Dementors. It was also the first time he had encountered the mysterious white stag. Now, the sky was as clear as any late summer day, and not a trace of mist could be found in the air.

In the corner of his eye, Severus saw something moving by his feet. 'Hello Peter. Can you point me where the others are?'

With his tail, Peter pointed towards the woods behind Severus. As he turned around, he found the faint outlining of Potter's antlers partially hidden behind the trees. They were all there in their Animagus form, with the exception of Remus, and they were waiting.

'Peter, crawl up into my pocket, and keep still,' said Severus. 'You may want to hear what the Dark Lord has to say as well.' Peter squeaked and crawled his way up into the pocket of Severus's jacket, sitting as still as he could.

'He's coming,' Severus mumbled under his breath. In the far distance, the silhouette of a dark figure flying through the air was approaching him. 'Lilith, I need you to hide out in the woods with the rest.' Lilith nudged Severus in the shoulder and glided away towards the trees. 'Are you ready, Peter?'

Peter let out a solemn squeak, shaking a little. 'Stay still,' said Severus with a pat against his pocket.

'Severus Snape,' said Voldemort politely as he landed in front of him. 'We meet again.'

The inhuman face of the Dark Lord hadn't changed since the last time they had met. It was the confirmation that Severus needed that no more Horcruxes had been made since then. 'How good of you to answer to my calling, Tom,' he said.

'Give me one good reason not to kill you right now,' said Voldemort sharply.

'I heard I've got a price tag on my head,' said Severus. 'I'd be worthless if I were dead.'

The corner of Voldemort's lips curled into a smile. 'This is where you a wrong, Severus. Dead, you are worth so much more to me.' From the inside of his pocket, he pulled out a small glass orb. 'Do you know what this is?'

Severus shook his head. 'Is this the moment where you are going to tell me what it is?'

'Are you familiar with the Department of Mysteries, Severus?

Severus shook his head again. 'Please, enlighten me.'

'One of my Death Eaters found this in the Hall of Prophecy, located in the Department of Mysteries,' said Voldemort. 'It had your name on it, and Dumbledore's, and Flamel's – and mine. This is a copy, Severus, of the prophecy you overheard on Hallowe'en last year.'

Severus could feel his heart starting to pound in his chest. The Dark Lord knowing they were after the Horcruxes was one thing, but for him to know about the prophecy is another. A blue light rose up from the centre of the orb. The light expended until it engulfed both of them, revealing the scene of the evening that the prophecy was foretold by Sybill Trelawney.

' _Don't make me force you!_ ' yelled Severus in the memory. ' _This is not an appropriate place to start an argument like this!_ _Please, Lily, you have no idea how serious this is!_ '

' _I know it is_ ,' said Lily. ' _Your eyes have grown cold_.'

' _Then let's head back to the Three Broomsticks_ ,' said Severus. _'I'll explain later, I prom_ —'

' – _Souls scattered across time. The four great wizards who defied death realigned. Darkness comes when meddled with time. Three must falter to realign before darkness comes – souls scattered across time. The four great wizards–'_

 _'Is she having a fit or something_?' said Lily.

' _No_ ,' Severus in the memory mumbled. _'No. This can't be happening, This –_ '

'Stop this,' said Severus stiffly. 'Stop this, now.'

The Dark Lord placed the orb back in his pocket. 'How does it feel, Severus, knowing what I know now, eh? Knowing that you've been after the pieces of my soul.'

'How does it feel, knowing most of them have already been destroyed?' Severus answered bluntly.

A fire was lighted in the Dark Lord's eyes. An electric feeling filled the air, causing it to suddenly grow colder. 'You will never have them all, Severus,' the Dark Lord hissed, ' _never_! You may know about the locket around my neck, but you will never find the other.'

'I wouldn't be so sure about that, _Tom_ ,' said Severus darkly.

'You're lying,' said the Dark Lord. 'I cannot penetrate your mind, but I know that you are lying.'

'If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were afraid,' said Severus. 'How do you plan on breaking through the barricades of Hadrian's Wall, Tom?'

'Are you that desperate to avoid the words of this prophecy, Severus –'

'—Nicolas Flamel has already sacrificed himself for this,' Severus interrupted him. 'And I know that, one day, Dumbledore will sacrifice himself for this, also.'

Voldemort laughed. 'If Dumbledore considers himself to be such a martyr, then why is he hiding, eh? Why won't he be the source of light in these dark, _dark_ times?'

'Because he's always three steps ahead from anyone,' said Severus. 'That includes you – and me.'

'And what about you, Severus?' asked Voldemort. 'What is the part you play in all of this?'

Severus arched his back. 'I am the one who defied death – and therefore I no longer fear it.'

His words must have left a sour taste in Voldemort's mouth. 'You will never be my equal, Severus. You are nothing more than a little boy with a silver tongue.'

'I shall repeat my question, Tom,' said Severus. 'How do you plan on breaking through the barricades of Hadrian's Wall?'

Voldemort's eyes turned to slits. 'I'm going to burn it down. I'm going to _burn it all down_.'

In a split second, it appeared that Voldemort was reaching for his wand, causing Severus to swiftly whip out his own and held it against the Dark Lord's throat. 'You can't kill me, Severus,' the Dark Lord laughed. His laugher was high and cold and caused Peter to shiver in fear in Severus's pocket. 'First, I'll come for you. Then, I'll kill everyone you love – and I will make you watch as they _all burn to ash_.'

…

Severus, along with the four Marauders, headed over to the house of Remus's parents in Hexworthy. He noticed that nothing had changed since the last time he had been here, and considered it a good thing, taking into account how often the Lupin family had had to move because of Remus's condition.

'You've got some serious balls, mate,' said Sirius as he handed Severus a cup of tea. 'Facing You-Know-Who out there like that. Incredible.'

Peter, who had wrapped himself up in a blanket from all the stress, nodded in agreement. 'Scariest moment of my life, I believe.'

'You did really well, Peter,' said Remus with a pat on his back. 'Severus, is there anything we need to be concerned about?'

'Pretty much everything,' said Severus, his voice sounding thin. 'He knows about the prophecy. He knows we're after the Horcruxes. One of which is dangling around his neck, and the other we have no knowledge of at all – and he's planning on burning everything and everyone to the ground, which means that he must have found a way to tame that bloody dragon.'

Sirius threw his hands up in the air in defeat. 'We are, indeed, royally screwed.'

'Do you have any idea on when he's going to attack?' asked Remus. 'If he's ready to use a dragon to break down the barricades, there must be something up there that he's trying to protect.'

Severus twisted the cup around in his hands, contemplating. 'Perhaps he isn't trying to get to Hogwarts just to appoint a new headmaster – perhaps there's something else there as well.'

'You mean, like a Horcrux?' said Remus.

'It's my best bet that that a Horcrux is hidden somewhere within those walls,' said Severus. 'Still, that castle is massive, and if you don't know what you're looking for…'

'Severus,' said Peter, 'It's a bit unrelated, but I was wondering about something…'

'About what?' asked Severus.

Peter hesitated to speak up, but must have decided that, whatever he was about to ask, it was too important to let go. 'About what you said on that Tor. About being someone who has defied death. You are one of the four wizards in that prophecy, aren't you?'

'I am,' Severus confirmed.

'Could you elaborate?' asked Peter. 'All this time, I've believed this prophecy was about You-Know-Who, Dumbledore, Grindelwald and Flamel – but now it isn't.'

'The prophecy does not involve Grindelwald,' said Severus as he looked up at Remus. 'Remus, could you do me a favour and tell everyone here what you already know? And can I borrow your Deluminator? I really wish to speak with Lily.'

Everyone's eyes shifted from Severus to Remus. 'I will,' said Remus as he handed Severus the Deluminator. 'Go talk to your wife.'

With the Deluminator at hand, Severus walked away from the living room and into Remus's bedroom. 'Young Order,' he muttered as he placed the Deluminator on the writing desk. 'Lily, are you there?'

' _Sev!_ ' Lily shrieked. _'Sev, I have never been so happy to hear your voice! Please tell me everything's alright_?'

'Everything's alright,' said Severus. 'First things first. Have you heard anything from Frank?'

' _I'm good, mate_ ,' said Frank suddenly. ' _We made a little detour to get Mary. We're up north now. I won't say too much just in case anyone is tapping into the connection_.'

Relieved to hear that everyone had made it out alive, Severus started talking about everything that had happened on top of the Tor.

' _You truly got some Gryffindor courage in you, Severus_ ,' said Emma after Severus finished speaking. ' _Are you positive you were meant to be in Slytherin_?'

'I am a Slytherin through and through, Emma,' said Severus. 'Just like you. We're just not very conventional ones. And, Lily, I may have made it out alive, but I don't think it would be wise of me to travel home just yet. There's a fair chance that I'm being tracked down at this very moment and I don't want them to track me back to you.'

' _I figured as much_ ,' said Lily. ' _It's okay, Sev. The last thing I need you to do is worry about me. If there's anything happening with me or the baby, I'll contact you right way. And Sev, this battle is coming, right? Do you have any idea when it's going to happen_?'

'War doesn't come with a schedule,' said Severus. 'But I have a hunch. He's got an army of werewolves behind him led by Greyback. If he wants to optimise is chances, he's probably going to wait it out until full moon.'

' _That's near the end of October_ ,' said Lily. ' _I'm due around that time, Sev_.'

Severus ran his fingers through his hair and let out a sigh. 'I know,' he said. 'And I am so, so sorry Lily. I want to be there when it happens – more than anything else.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N If anyone's interested, I've written a short story called "Caught in a Storm on Top of Wuthering Heights." It's inspired by Emily Brontë's novel and it's a crossover between the novel and Severus and Lily's (tragic) story.


	231. The Battle of Hadrian's wall I

Sirius, Peter and Potter had been shocked, to say the least, to learn of Severus's previous life. He really didn't want to thread on too much detail, and eventually, after having pestered him with tons of questions, they gave in and accepted it for what it was.

Not a single moment went by where Severus didn't think of Apparating his way back to Lily. She was pretty much bedridden by now, as she was barely able to stand up from the weight she was carrying. They talked through the Deluminator as often as they could, but talking about the more intimate things was hard since everyone else was able to listen along to their conversations.

The news of the war grew more gruesome by the day. Nearly everyone who had resisted at the Ministry had been murdered – and that included Mary's father. Mary had put up a strong act through all of it, but everyone knew better than that.

Two days before the full moon, Azkaban fell, causing especially Evan to freak out. The few Death Eaters who had been captured before the infiltration of the Ministry were now back on the streets. Since it had been the Dark Lord's doing, anyone who escaped the cells of Azkaban must have joined his cause by now, Death Eater or not.

Potter was pacing around the living room. 'We're going to be heavily outnumbered out there,' he said, thinking out loud. 'How are we ever going to win this fight if we are that heavily outnumbers?'

' _By making them believe you aren't outnumbered_ ,' said Erwin through the static of the Deluminator. ' _But then again, I don't really know how that would be done in a war among wizards_.'

'Any chance we could create the illusion that we have duplicated ourselves?' said Peter.

'Oh don't be ridiculous, Wormtail,' Sirius snapped. 'You might as well suggest we all run off and start our lives all over again on the other side of the world.'

'That actually doesn't sound so bad,' said Peter with a shrug.

Sirius snorted. 'Yes, can you imagine – the whole of bloody wizarding and Muggle Great Britain – moving away without dealing with the problem first?'

'I get what you're saying, Padfoot,' said Peter, growing impatient, 'but I can't help but feel as if we are giving up before we have even started.'

'Where's Dumbledore when you need him,' Potter groaned. 'I could really use his voice of reason by now.'

Remus's mother had just entered the living room with tea, when suddenly her husband came running after her. 'THEY'RE HERE!' he yelled. 'There are Death Eaters on the Moor. We need to leave! NOW!'

' _Severus_!' Erwin's voice yelled. ' _Severus what's happening out there_?'

'I can see people surrounding the house,' said Severus as he peaked through the window. 'Frank, can you hear us?'

' _Loud and clear_ ,' said Frank. ' _Go make a Portkey and travel to Once Brewed just south of Hadrian's Wall. There, you'll find another Portkey they'll take you to us. Go_!'

'Portus!' said Severus as he pointed his wand at the piano. 'Everyone, gather around! We're leaving in five…four…three…'

Everyone in the household rushed their way up to the piano. They had left just in time. The windows of the house were smashed in the moment the room started to spin. The sickening sensation of a hook spinning him around caused Severus to grow weak in the knees.

They landed in a field right in front of Hadrian's Wall. Everyone took a moment to catch their breath and looked around at where they had landed. There as virtually nothing here, aside from a few old houses that appeared abandoned.

Severus touched the edge of the Wall with the tip of his wand. Like a ripple of water on the surface of a lake, an invisible shield vibrated up to as far up as the eye could see. 'Hold on to your wife, Lyall,' said Severus. 'There are some strong Muggle repelling charms here.'

Without anyone noticing, Hope had already started to cross the street, walking as casual as any other hiking enthusiast. Lyall dashed off after her, preventing her from straying any further. 'I think I found the Portkey,' he said as he nearly tripped over an object. 'It's a book on Potions.'

'That ought to be it,' said Severus. 'We better keep going. I'm sorry about your piano, Remus.'

…

'Welcome to Edinburgh,' said Damocles. 'Please, make yourselves comfortable.'

'You've been here all this time?' asked Severus to Frank as they sat down in the living room.

'As is Petunia, and Gwendolyn and the rest of her family, and Grindelwald – and Dumbledore,' said Frank. 'There haven't been any –'

'—wait,' said Severus. 'Dumbledore's here?'

'Well, not right now,' said Frank. 'He was with Petunia in Oxford first, but then –'

'Sorry, Frank,' said Severus, as though he hadn't understood correctly. 'Dumbledore was with Petunia all this time?'

'Last place Death Eaters would come looking,' said Frank, 'until more and more Dark Marks started popping up. She's upstairs with Gwendolyn, if you need her.'

Without apologising, Severus ran up the stairs and found Petunia chatting with Gwendolyn on a bed. 'Severus!' she shrieked as she came running up to him, and pulled him into a tight embrace. 'I knew you were coming.'

'I've never been so happy to see you as I am now,' said Severus as he returned the favour. 'How did you get here?'

Petunia fell into story of how Dumbledore and Grindelwald had come knocking on their door after she had arrived in Oxford, believing it to be the safest place to hide out from the Ministry. From there, they had managed to contact as many remaining Aurors and members of the Order as they could, including Alastor Moody, who was currently preparing everyone for battle. She also told him that Catriona was currently with them, preparing her own army of werewolves for battle, which confirmed what Severus had suspected; that the battle was to occur at full moon.

…

The day before the full moon, Damocles' house was filled all the way up from the cellar to the attic with people. People from the south were brought in through strategically placed Portkeys, including Arthur, who had fought tooth and nail to prevent Erwin from coming with him and was reassuring Severus over and over again that Lily was doing just fine. Lily was bound to give birth at any moment. If not now, perhaps tomorrow, or maybe even on Hallowe'en, which didn't reassure Severus in the slightest.

Over a dozen Aurors were present. Severus recognised a few; Moody, Shacklebolt and Scrimgeour, but knew none of the others. Far outnumbering the rest were the werewolves, counting over a hundred. Bronwyn had been brought to his grandparents. Catriona was keeping her head up high through the whole ordeal, but Severus knew there was un underlying sorrow of knowing that Bronwyn could very well be orphaned after the battle. There were so many people present with families here that may not live to see another day, and Severus understood why Erwin and Arnica had decided to wait until they knew for certain that they could raise a family in peace. Children held no place in a war.

Then there was the case with Grindelwald. Severus had expected Grindelwald would have joined with the use of a Polyjuice potion or something similar, but he hadn't. It had taken a lot of effort on Dumbledore's behalf to convince everyone not to fear his presence, in which Severus eventually backed him up.

'Here,' said Potter as he handed Severus the Deluminator. 'Your turn.'

Severus took the Deluminator from Potter's hands. 'Thanks,' he mumbled back.

'Before you talk to Lily, there's something I'd like to say,' said Potter.

'What is it?' asked Severus.

Potter drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly. 'I know you and I are not friends, Snape. But, I do want you to know that I've gained a whole new perspective on you over the past two years.'

'I'd rather have you save your words for the eulogy,' said Severus. 'This is not the time to get sentimental.'

'Except that it is,' said Potter. 'The fact that you're already expect me to write a eulogy for you is exactly why we need to talk. Because you and I both know very well that my eulogy about you is going to suck.'

'I suppose you're right,' said Severus with a snort. 'Still, I got a feeling that I'm never going to meet my child.'

'I wish I could tell you that you will,' said Potter, 'but I don't want to lie. Nothing is guaranteed at this point.'

'Are your parents going to fight as well?' asked Severus.

'Oh, yes,' said Potter. 'They're here somewhere, but, as I said – there's something that I still need to say.'

Severus nodded. 'Well, spit it out, Potter. The Aurors scouting the Wall can return at any moment, and once they do, there is no turning back.'

'I want to bury the hatchet,' said Potter. 'I don't want to go out on that battlefield with you by my side while holding a grudge. I want to go out on that battlefield with you as a friend.'

Severus looked Potter in the eye and nodded in understanding. 'I'll shake hands to that,' he said while extending his hand. 'I could use a friend by my side, especially now.'

'Now, I don't want to take up too much of your precious time,' said Potter. 'Go talk to your wife.'

Severus watched Potter disappear into the crowd. Potter had been right. It was much better to bury the hatchet while they still could, and felt a minor weight being lifted of his shoulders now that he knew for certain that he could rely on the men beside him.

'Young Order,' he mumbled at the Deluminator. 'Lily, are you there?'

' _I'm here_ ,' said Lily. ' _How's everything over there? It sounds busy_.'

'It is,' said Severus. 'The scouts are returning at any given moment. We are preparing to leave.'

' _Sev_ ,' said Lily timidly, ' _before you say anything else, I need you to listen_.'

'I'm listening,' said Severus, preparing himself for the emotional blow that was about to come.

' _I love you_ ,' said Lily. ' _In fact, I think I may love you more than life itself. And right now, I want you to know that I am in good hands, and that I will be okay_. _I will be okay, because I am surrounded by people who love me and support me and care for me. Don't worry about me while you are out there. Just worry about the people standing beside you.'_

Severus barely noticed Petunia's arms wrapping around his shoulders. He was fighting hard against the tears that were welling up inside of him. 'I love you too, Lily.' His voice cracked as he said it. 'Both of you. All of you.'

' _we love you too, son_ ,' said Erwin on the other side. ' _The things I would give to be by your side right now_.'

'Severus,' petunia whispered into his ear. 'The Aurors have returned.'

'I have to go,' said Severus, the tears now flowing freely. 'Lily – Lily, I'm sorry.'

' _Don't be_ ,' Lily answered. ' _You're not alone_.'

As Lily's voice disappeared in the static, Severus turned around and saw that everyone from the Young Order had formed a circle around him. 'We got you, Severus,' said Mary. 'We got all of us.'

…

They left at the break of dawn. Most of the Death Eaters had been located near Hexham and were heading west following the river Irthing. Very few Death Eaters had been sighed in the far east or westside of the country, meaning they were trying to increase their chances of breaking through the barriers in one particular spot.

Camp had been set out on the northside of the river near Upper Denton. The morning mist still lingered between the hills as they looked out on an empty space in front of them.

'I'm starting to wonder if we're actually in the proper place,' said Sirius as he stood by the edge of the wall. 'Not a single Death Eater in sight.'

'They're hiding out till dark,' Remus huffed. 'The werewolves will be actual werewolves by then, and it's to their advantage as we, werewolves, can see much better in the dark.'

Sirius pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and handed them out to his friends. 'Here's to us,' he said as he lit the cigarette. 'To Peter, for being such a clever rat. To James, for being such a magnificent stallion – I mean, stag. To Remus, for being a fearless werewolf, and to Severus, for wearing the same damn Black Sabbath t-shirt as I am on the day of our pending doom.'

'I'll smoke to that,' said Severus as he lit the cigarette with a snap of his fingers. 'And to you, Sirius, for having been smart enough to bring your motorbike with you in your pocket. Seriously, I should've thought about bringing Erwin's.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Once Brewed and Hexham are actual places located not far from each other near Hadrian's Wall. Of course, just like I did with The Redcliffe Camera and Hexworthy, I picked it solely for their fitting names.


	232. The Battle of Hadrian's Wall II

'But of course,' growled Sirius. 'What is a battle without some bloody rain.'

'As long as the rain isn't actually bloody,' said Peter while looking up at the sky. 'That is one nasty storm heading our way.'

Severus looked up at the sky as well. The sun had nearly gone down and the bright blue sky was being replaced by dark clouds rolling overhead. The electricity could be tasted in the air. Whatever that storm was about to bring, it was going to bring more than rain.

'So, what's next?' said Sirius as the sarcasm dripped from his lips. 'Oh wait, how could I forget. A blithering fire breathing dragon – as if thunder and rain wasn't enough! And lest not forget the werewolves, oh no!'

'Shut up, Padfoot,' said Remus bluntly. 'I know you're trying to alleviate the mood, but you're not helping.'

'Sorry,' Sirius said with a sigh. 'It's just – that's my family out there, on the other side. Especially my brother. I just can't bare the thought of having to face him in battle.'

'We're all going to be facing people we know,' said Evan darkly. 'Dumbledore's about to give a briefing before all the werewolves turn. We better go and listen to what he has to say.'

The group followed Evan inside the tent. It was the largest magical tent Severus had ever seen and represented more of a hotel than anything else. 'Severus,' said Dumbledore as he materialised behind him. 'I wish to speak with you first before I address anyone else.'

Severus followed Dumbledore to a more private part of the tent where he also found Grindelwald waiting for them. 'How are you faring?' asked Grindelwald. 'Can I interest you in a glass of firewhisky?'

'Yes, I could use something to take off the edge,' said Severus as he accepted the glass. 'And no, I'm not faring well. The battle is here and yet my mind is elsewhere.'

'Understandably so,' said Grindelwald. 'Severus, we didn't bring you in here to cheer you up. We invited you in here because we wanted to ask something of you.'

Severus's eyes shifted from Grindelwald to Dumbledore. The twinkle in Dumbledore's eye had vanished and was replaced by a look of sadness. 'It's about the Elder Wand,' he said. 'No matter what happens out on this battlefield today, it cannot fall into the hands of Voldemort.'

'Then what is it you're suggesting?' asked Severus, fearing the question that was about to follow.

'I cannot just hand this wand to you, Severus,' Dumbledore explained, 'it needs to be won in battle.'

'I'm well aware,' Severus growled. 'The Dark Lord had me killed because of that wand, believing it to be mine because I killed you that day on top of the Astronomy Tower. Except that it wasn't mine, because I had not been the one who had disarmed you. You were three steps ahead of everyone else that day, as always.'

'Does this mean you understand what I am asking of you, Severus?' asked Dumbledore.

Severus involuntarily raised his voice. 'It means that if you are overpowered, that I must be the one to kill you and secure the wand.'

Dumbledore took his halfmoon spectacles and looked down in shame. 'I know that I am asking the impossible here, Severus – and yet, I need your word that you will.'

'Just because I've done it before, doesn't mean that a second time will be any easier,' said Severus, his voice shaking in anger.

'You have to, Severus,' said Dumbledore. 'There is no other way.'

'What do you mean, there is no other –' Severus stopped himself from speaking and noticed how both men were looking at him.

'Three steps ahead, just like you said,' said Dumbledore. 'Severus – please. You know better than anyone not to fear what comes after death.'

'Fine,' said Severus stiffly. 'But I can't make any promises based on how this night will end. Now, if you please, I think I can hear the werewolves turning.' The painful howls of hundreds of werewolves failed the air, causing shivers to travel down his spine. 'And I can hear them on the other side as well. This is your final briefing. Now or never.'

…

Dumbledore's briefing had been exactly that – brief. A strategy was explained. People were advised to follow the Aurors' lead. A few words of encouragement were spoken. The storm that was rolling inwards was now raging above them. Many words were exchanged, but few were heard through the thunderous sound from above.

On the other side of the wall, hundreds – if not thousands – of Death Eaters, werewolves and supporters were standing neatly lined up, row by row, ready to blast through the protective shield of the wall. Neither the Dark Lord nor the dragon were anywhere in sight, as was to be expected. He was biding his time somewhere out in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike.

'Moony's just joined the rest of the werewolves,' said Sirius. 'I wonder if I'll ever see him again.'

'Catriona is a good leader,' said Severus, although not sounding very reassuring. 'As long as Remus does what he's told, he ought to be fine.'

'I hope you're right, Snape,' said Potter. 'Now what do we do?'

'We wait,' said Severus. 'We wait for as long as it takes them to break through the barriers. And after that, you kill whatever tries to kill you. 'That's what it all comes down to.'

The first hit from the other side shook the ground like an earthquake. Spells were shot up in the air like fireworks and beating into the protective shield. The shield was pulsating, as though trying to mend itself from all the inflictions that were cast upon it.

'What is that sound?' squeaked Peter. 'I don't think that's the wind turning.'

From far behind the Death Eaters, the sound of enormous wings could be heard beating against the windy rain.

'DRAGON!' Auror Moody yelled in the distance. 'DRAGON INCOMING! SHIELDS UP!'

All around them, Protego charms were cast. The black dragon was nearly invisible against the thunderous sky. A sea of Death Eaters and werewolves split in two, clearing the path for the dragon's fire.

Lightening flashed over the battlefield. The monstrous silhouette of the dragon could be seen as it flew towards the Wall, causing several to scream out in fear.

'I think I just saw You-Know-Who on its back!' yelled Sirius. 'How is that possible?'

'He didn't tame it!' Severus yelled back. 'I think he found a way to cast an Imperius curse on it. Keep your shields up. He's about to spit fire!'

Heat was building up in the dragon's throat. Within moments, a fire came blasting past its teeth, larger than any fire Severus had ever seen before. The heat hit them like a scorching sun and caused the rain around them to evaporate.

The Wall's shield started to vibrate violently. 'It's going to crack!' Severus yelled. 'Spread out! NOW!'

A hole burned through the shield as if it were made out of paper. The werewolves were the first to jump over the wall. Further up ahead, Severus could see Fabian and Gideon Prewett rushing off into battle, ready to blast people to the side.

It all happened so quick. Spells were flying around Severus's ears. Screams of terror echoed over the battlefield on both sides. He casted as many stunning spells as he could to take out the werewolves that were surrounding him.

The dragon was rampaging on the field. Its tail swinging dangerously from side to side, knocking anyone down that came in its path. Another blast of fire came from its mouth. This time setting the tent and the trees behind it on fire.

Severus had lost sight of anyone who had been standing close to him. His mind was set on staying as far away from the dragon's mouth as possible, causing him to run around in circles on the battlefield.

He deflected many spells cast his way. Some from Death Eaters he recognised from another lifetime. Dolohov. Yaxley. Travers. In the corner of his eye he even caught Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy running their way towards Dumbledore, who casted them aside with a mere flick of his wand.

He had hexed yet another Death Eater as he ran his way up to the wall, when he suddenly got kicked in the back and fell hard onto the ground. As he turned around, he came face to face with Karkaroff, who was holding a wand up in his face.

'We meet again, Severus,' said Karkaroff with an evil grin on his face.

'Again?' said Severus, confused. 'We've never met before.'

'Oh, but we have,' said Karkaroff, now holding his wand against Severus's throat. 'The first time we met was on Hogsmeade, a long, long time ago it seems. The second time was on old year's eve. That same evening your mother suddenly died.'

A rage that he hadn't felt in a very long time started boiling up inside of him. 'You've been pretending to be Malfoy all this time, haven't you?' Severus spat. 'You were the one who put my father under the Imperius Curse! It was you who—'

'Avada Ked—'

'AVADA KEDAVRA!' Grindelwald appeared out of nowhere, shooting the killing curse straight into Karkaroff's heart. Karkaroff's eyes rolled into the back of his head and was dead before he hit the ground.

'Keep running, Severus!' Grindelwald cried. 'Voldemort's got his eye on you already!'

The rage was causing Severus to shake to his very core. He felt like kicking Karkaroff's corpse over and over again, if it wasn't for the dragon that was now staring him straight in the eye.

He could hear the sound of hoofs galloping behind him. Lilith had found her way through the broken shield and was now running her way up to him. Swiftly, he grabbed her by the manes and secured his legs behind her wings right before the dragon spat fire in his direction, missing him by mere inches.

Lilith flew high up in the air. Severus could see the McFusty clan led by Scamander desperately attempting to reach the dragon, but were held back by a group of werewolves circling around them. Near the edge of the wall he could see Fabian and Gideon lying sprawled out on the ground. As he swooped in over them, he could see that their bodies had been cut open by werewolf claws and he knew they had to be dead.

'Tom!' Severus yelled down from above. 'It's me you're after! COME AND GET ME!'

The Dark Lord's bloodshot eyes locked into his own. With his wand he directed the dragon to start beating its wings, ordering him to fly up.

Another flash of blinding light shocked through the air, drowning out any sound from the battlefield with its rumbles.

High up in the air, the curses and hexes thrown at each other on the ground could barely be heard. 'IT'S JUST YOU AND ME, TOM! FACE ME LIKE THE MAN YOU ARE!'

'You got this, girl,' Severus whispered into Lilith ear. 'As soon as he breathes fire, fly up higher.'

The Dark Lord met him at eyelevel. From the depths of the dragon's throat, Severus could see it was preparing to blast more fire. 'Are you ready to crumble into ash, Severus?' said Voldemort coldly.

From below, the werewolves started to howl. Everyone on the battlefield had started looking up at the night skies and casted shields against the expected fire from above.

'Are you ready to meet your end?'


	233. The Battle of Hadrian's Wall III

' _Avada kedravra_!'

Severus missed the Dark Lord's curse by mere inches. Lilith circled around the dragon, avoiding its fire breathing mouth at all cost.

'Flipendo!' Severus yelled as he aimed his wand at the Dark Lord. The jinx hit him square in the face, causing him to nearly slide off his dragon. 'Flipendo!' he yelled again. This time the Dark Lord really lost his balance and was holding on to the dragon's claws for dear life.

Severus could barely hear the curses the Dark Lord was throwing at him. The harsh wind was beating around his ears as Lilith soared through the air, rising and diving as the curses surrounded them. 'Expelliarmus!'

The Dark Lord's wand shot out of his hand and fell down into the battlefield. His red eyes flashed with fury as he climbed back into the dragon's back, only to realise that he could no longer control the dragon.

The dragon snapped out of its Confunded state. It looked around as if it were trying to take in where it had suddenly ended up and beat its wings in anger.

Fire came out of nowhere. The dragon blasted the wall into debris. The last remaining bit of the shield obliterated into nothing, leaving nothing protected on the other side. It continued to spit fire onto the battlefield. Screams of agonising terror could be heard from below. People were burning alive and the screams cut through Severus like a knife in his heart.

It was much harder to avoid the dragon now that it was out of control. Severus tried to aim at the Dark Lord as much as he could, but his view was blocked by the dragon's wings no matter how much he tried to fly around it.

It happened in a split second. He noticed too late that the dragon had aimed directly at him. He could feel the fire burning on his clothes, scorching the skin on his back. The sickening sensation of falling out of the skies overwhelmed him. Lilith cried as her wings shrived up into dust.

'ARESTO MOMENTUM!' The speed at which Severus was falling suddenly came to a halt. With a soft thud he landed on the ground. 'Aguamenti!' Severus sputtered from all the water filling his nostrils.

'Get up, Snape!' yelled Potter after he stopped pouring water on him. 'There's no time to keep lying around!'

The adrenaline coursing through his body forced him to stand up. Lilith had fallen down beside him. Her body broken, burned and unmoving.

'I mean it, Snape!' said Potter as he pushed Severus away. 'You have to keep going!'

Severus firmly clasped his hand around his wand and started running. Werewolves were lying scattered throughout the battlefield, bleeding to their deaths. Among them he caught of glimpse of Mary, her face pale and her eyes wide open in horror, killed by a Killing Curse.

'Newt!' Severus screamed. 'Newt, we need to take that dragon down!'

Newt was looking up at the sky, petrified by the mere sight of the dragon destroying everything in its path. 'We can't figure out how, Severus!'

'Use the Imperius Curse,' said Severus. 'You and the entire clan behind you. Aim for its eyes!'

With a newfound determination, Newt ran forward with the McFusty clan following closely behind. It was then that Severus found Dumbledore down on his knees, facing Mulciber, who was aiming his wand at Dumbledore's throat.

Remembering the promise he had made, Severus aimed his wand at Dumbledore's hand. 'Expelliarmus,' he cried. The Elder Wand flew out of Dumbledore's hand and landed further ahead, hidden in the shadows. Through all the hassle that was happening around them, Mulciber hadn't taken notice of what just happened.

'Mulciber!' yelled Severus. 'Mulciber, don't do it!'

'I don't negotiate with traitors, Snape!' Mulciber snapped back without taking his eyes of Dumbledore. 'I have to do this!'

'Exell—'

Mulciber deflected Severus's spell with a flick of his wand. 'Don't,' he said, the tremors in his voice betraying his fear. 'Avada Kedavra!' Mulciber looked away as Dumbledore slumped down on the ground.

For a moment, Severus's mind went blank. It felt absurd – almost surreal, even, to see one of the greatest wizards who ever lived dying at the hands of someone who was barely an adult.

'AVADA KEDAVRA!' Grindelwald hit Mulciber in the back. Enraged, he turned Mulciber's lifeless body around. His rage was swiftly erased by a look of pure horror. A necklace in the shape of the Deathly Hallows was dangling from Mulciber's neck. 'No,' Grindelwald sputtered. 'NO!'

Grindelwald tossed Mulciber aside like an unwanted piece of meat and crawled his way up to Dumbledore. He screamed as tears started to flow from his face. He cradled Dumbledore body in his arms in the same way Severus had done when he had found Lily's lifeless body in her home all those years ago.

'End me, Severus,' said Grindelwald as he looked up at him, pleading. 'Do it!'

Severus shook his head. 'We need you in this fight. I need—'

'—DO IT!' Grindelwald screamed. 'PRETEND I'M KARAROFF IF YOU MUST! THE ONLY THING WORTH LIVING FOR IS GONE! PLEASE! – please.'

Severus's hand shook violently as he raised his wand up at Grindelwald. 'I hope you get a second chance,' he said, 'just like I did. _Avada Kedavra_!' A green light sprouted from his wand and hit Grindelwald in his chest. His arms were still wrapped tightly around Dumbledore as he collapsed on top of him.

Panic started to rise from the depths of his stomach. Fabian. Gideon. Lilith. Mary. Dumbledore. Grindelwald. They were all dead – and who knew how many more were out there lying dead on the field. He nearly kicked out of reflex when he felt something was tugging on the leg of his jeans. It was Peter – in his rat form – holding the Elder Wand in his mouth.

'Have you seen the Dark Lord's wand on the field as well, Peter?' asked Severus as he pocketed the Elder Wand.

Peter transformed back into his human form and shook his head. 'He's got it back before I could take it,' he said while looking around fearfully. Peter was about to say something else, when suddenly the dragon started to drop from the sky.

'We got it!' said Scamander. 'Tie ropes around its mouth and legs! Incarcerous!'

'Go help them!' said Severus as he pushed Peter in the direction of the McFusty clan. 'I have to go and find the Dark Lord!'

Severus circled around the battlefield in the hopes of catching a glimpse of the Dark Lord. He tripped over the legs of several fallen Death Eaters, some of which he knew by name.

He saw Bellatrix running up to him. She cackled madly as she raised her wand, but she was blasted aside by Arthur throwing a hex at her. A moment later he passed Evan, who was shielding Emma behind him, standing across from his father. They had their wands raised, but neither of them dared to cast the first hex. They looked at each other for a little while until Evan's father decided to step aside and let his son pass him by.

As Evan ran off with Emma with tears in his eyes, Severus continued to look for the Dark Lord. The thought of the Dark Lord having left the battlefield occurred to him, but was stopped dead in his tracks when he found Regulus standing side by side with the Dark Lord. They were facing Sirius along with a werewolf that had to be Remus. They had their wands drawn, ready to strike.

'Stop this madness, Reggie,' said Sirius, his voice shaking with emotion. 'You don't belong with them and you know it.'

'Finish him off,' the Dark Lord ordered. 'Show me where your loyalties lie, Regulus.'

'I have to do this, Sirius,' said Regulus. 'This is my only chance to set things right.'

'REGULUS, HE KILLED MARY!' Severus yelled as he ran up to them.

Something shattered within Regulus. He turned around on the balls of his feet and faced the Dark Lord. His eyes flashed as he looked down at the locket that was hanging from the Dark Lord's neck. With both hands, he took a hold of the chain and pulled so hard that the chain broke free. The Dark Lord screamed out in agony as Regulus tried to toss the locket in Severus's direction.

Too late. The killing curse hit Regulus in his heart. He fell with his face down in the bloodstained soil as the locket slipped out from between his fingers. ' _Idiot boy_!' the Dark Lord spat as he picked the locket up from the ground.

Before Sirius was able to hit the Dark Lord with a curse, he vanished into a cloud of smoke and rain. 'NOOOOO!' cried Sirius as he dropped to his knees. 'No not Reggie. No. please no –'

Remus stood protectively over Regulus's body as Sirius wept. Severus looked around and realised that they were standing on the losing side. One by one, people were falling all around him – and there was nothing he could do about it.

Something needed to be done to put an end to it. He was growing tired. The adrenaline coursing through his veins was starting to wear off and the burns on his back started to sting like knives being stabbed into his body.

The dragon was tied up in the middle of the battlefield. Death Eaters were trying to release it. The remaining Aurors, the clan and Scamander were trying to secure it whenever ropes were being slashed. Either way, it felt like a lost cause.

Remus desperately tried to pull Sirius together who was still wailing loudly over his brother's body. Severus felt the urge to drop down on his knees and give up. His vision blurred from the pain on his back.

'SEVERUS!' Peter yelled. 'SEVERUS, JAMES IS BATTLING WITH – WITH YOU-KNOW-WHO! I NEED YOUR HELP!'

Severus closed his eyes. He could hear curses flying around him and the thunder rolling away in the distance. He could almost taste the blood that was mixing in with the soil under his feet.

'SEVERUS, PLEASE! I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE!'

His mind drew him away from the battle and brought him home to Lily. Perhaps she had given birth by now. He saw how she was holding their baby in her arms, surrounded by their family – but not him. He couldn't see his own child's face.

'SEVERUS! NOW!'

He opened his eyes. He had found a new kind of courage rising up from the depths of his soul. Lily needed him. He needed his child to live in a safe world, free from danger and judgement.

'TAKE ME TO HIM, PETER!' he yelled.

Peter dragged Severus by his arm, sheltering them with a shield as they ran across the battlefield. 'There!' said Peter as he pointed at a large Wiggentree. 'It's how he's been protecting himself from the werewolves!'

'Become a rat and crawl up on the shadow side of that tree,' Severus ordered. 'Strike when you think you've got a good shot!'

Peter obeyed and vanished in the grass.

'There you are, _Severus_!' the Dark Lord hissed.

'Stay away, Snape!' yelled Potter. 'It's not me he's after – it's you!'

Severus casted a curse in the Dark Lord's direction, but he deflected it.

'I mean it, Snape!' yelled Potter again. 'Get out of here! Go home! We're losing this!'

'BOMBARDA!' yelled Peter from above. The sound of a cannon blasting into the ground caused the Dark Lord to smack into the Wiggentree and knock everyone backwards.

'I'm not leaving you here!' said Severus as he crawled back up and rushed his way up to Potter.

Potter pushed Severus away with his fist. 'Go, before he gets up!'

'Potter, I shouldn't –'

'I mean it, Snape!' said Potter. Severus could tell by Potter's stance that he was enraged, but his eyes spoke with fear. 'Lily needs you. You need to go home, and you need to be with your family. Otherwise, you never will.' Without warning, Potter pushed his Invisibility Cloak into Severus's hands.

Severus wanted to toss the Cloak back at Potter, when suddenly a flash of red light missed Severus by an inch. Potter crashed down on the ground and was cut open from top to bottom. His hand lost its grip around his wand, and blood came pouring out of him from every angle.

'No!' said Severus as he crouched down on his knees.

'Go home, Severus,' Potter sputtered as blood came pouring out of his mouth. 'Lily needs you.'

'No – no don't go,' said Severus as he desperately tried to cast a healing charm over Potter's body. 'I need you too, James! James – _look at me_.'

James's brown eyes met with Severus when a flash of green light hit James in his chest. The light that shone in his eyes extinguished, leaving nothing but an empty shell. 'JAMES!' he screamed. 'James –'

A protective shield was cast from above and shattered a curse that that Dark Lord had cast at him. Swiftly, he covered himself with the Invisibility Cloak and started running. He kept running until he reached the top of a hill and looked down at the battle below. From there, with the final words of James echoing in his mind, he Apparated away back home to Lily.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Sorry not sorry for G.R.R. Martining the hell out of this.  
> A/N I needed to add. The reason Dumbledore lost to Mulciber is because he was already planning on sacrificing himself, and also because he would never attack one of his (former) students. He may be one powerful wizard, but as mentioned before, he's always three steps ahead.


	234. The Burials

The silence that the woods of Ottery St. Catchpole offered was deafening. Within a matter of seconds, Severus had Apparated away from an overwhelming battle, and came home to clear skies and the gentle rustling of the trees.

He saw his home further up ahead. The waterwheel of the mill was turning, and smoke was rising up from the hearth. The house was filled with his family, and right now, he needed them more than anything.

Slowly, he stumbled his way to the front door. 'Lily!' he said, his voice sounded hoarse as he knocked on the door. 'I made it back. Lily –' The door swung open, causing him to fall flat on his face.

'Oh no!' said Arnica, clearly shocked by Severus's state. 'Molly – come quick!'

'Lily – Lily, is she –'

'—still very pregnant,' Molly assured him. 'Come, get up, Severus. We need to take a closer look at you.'

The two women hoisted him up under his armpits and carried him in. 'I don't know where Arthur is,' Severus sputtered along the way. 'I don't know – everything is lost.'

His vision started to blur the moment they sat him down on the couch. Through the backdoor, he could hear Erwin and Lily coming inside. 'Sev!' Lily shrieked as she sat down beside him on the couch. 'Sev, can you – oh _fuck_.'

Severus was unable to respond. Their voices muffled as they fussed over him on what to do. He caught something along the lines of his wounds needed to be treated right away. He could feel his clothes being stripped away and the soothing feeling of dittany dripping over his back. He was fighting hard against the dying of the light, but the darkness won – and all the lights went out.

…

Severus woke up the next day with Lily beside him, her round belly pressing against his own. He could feel the uncomfortable pull of bandages on his arm, back and part of his leg, and figured that Molly and Arnica must have treated the burns from the dragon's fire to the best of their abilities.

On the other side of the door, he could hear voices discussing the battle vividly, and felt some sense of relief when he heard Arthur amongst them. Something must have gone right during that battle after all. He heard that the McFusty clan had managed to return the dragon to Skye to its mother. There was also chatter on the all funerals being arranged. Dumbledore. Grindelwald. Mary. Gideon. Fabian. Regulus. James. Scrimgeour. Karkaroff. Dolohov. The list went on, but no one else from the Young Order was mentioned.

'Lily,' Severus whispered as he gently rocked her. 'Lily, are you awake?'

'Yes, but I don't really want to be,' said Lily as she stifled a yawn. 'How are you feeling, Sev?'

'Terrible,' said Severus. 'I found out who was responsible for my mother's death.'

'Who was it?' asked Lily.

'Igor Karkaroff,' Severus answered bitterly. 'He has been pretending to be Lucius Malfoy all this time. And—'

Lily shushed him by putting a finger on his lips. 'Sev, you need your rest, and I need to prevent my mind from spiralling out of control at all costs. I lost some of my friends on that field – and I nearly lost you. The only thing I want to focus on right now, is giving birth. After that, I'll allow myself to mourn.'

'I understand,' said Severus as he kissed her. 'How bad do I look?'

Lily touched the faint scar on his shoulder where a bullet had once pierced through. 'It's not good, Sev – but not impossible to live with. I don't think the scars from the burns will fade entirely.'

'How fortunate am I to already be married,' Severus snickered.

There was a faint knocking on the door. ' _Severus, Lily, are you two to awake_?'

'Yes, we are, dad,' Lily answered. 'What's going on?'

' _Some of your friends are here_ ,' said Erwin. ' _As well as Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth_. _Petunia's here with Gwendolyn as well_.'

Surprised by Erwin's words, they both climbed out of bed and prepared to meet everyone that had gathered in the living room.

No one was looking any better than Severus was. Everyone was bandaged up in one place or another. There were no words being exchanged. They were all looking down at the floor, some with tears in their eyes, others without.

Severus didn't quite know what to do or say and turned to Aberforth. 'Pleased to meet you again, mister Dumbledore,' he said as they shook hands.

'Just call me Aberforth,' said Aberforth as he waved it off. 'I'm nothing like the man my brother ever was – nor will be. If you'll follow me outside, please, there are some thing that I would like to share with you.'

Severus nodded and followed Aberforth to the riverbank where Nicolas and Perenelle were buried. 'My brother, along with Gellert Grindelwald, will be buried on Hogwart's grounds. At this point we haven't received any confirmation from the current headmistress, but that's not going to stop us from making it happen. Professor McGonagall will see to that.'

Severus nodded again. 'If anyone can, it's her. How come you wanted to meet me here, Aberforth?'

'Because my brother left something to you, but I can't give it to you,' said Aberforth. 'I assume you know what it is?'

'The Sword of Gryffindor,' said Severus. 'How come?'

'Because it's stuck in a rock,' said Aberforth. 'I've been trying to pry it out, but nothing seems to work.'

Severus looked up at the sky and snorted. 'Typical,' he said. 'He's got a plan, and even after his death, he's bound to make it happen.'

'Sometimes I wish my brother didn't look at life as if it were a game of chess,' said Aberforth. 'But, alas, he had his way of doing things. I just need you to know, Severus, that I know that he was very fond of you.'

'I was very fond of him too,' said Severus. 'There have definitely been times where we didn't see eye to eye, but in the end, he believed in me. Trusted me, even, when no one else did. I'm going to miss him.' Tears started to prickle in the corners of his eyes. 'I don't think I can go up to Hogwarts for the funeral,' Severus added. 'Right now, it's not a very safe place for me to be.'

'I'll always be near, in Hogsmeade,' said Aberforth. 'If the time ever comes that you do need to make your way up there, come to me first. I'll help you find a way.'

'I will,' said Severus. 'Thank you.'

People were chatting quietly over tea once they went back inside. He sat down next to Lily on the couch, who wrapped her arms around him in comfort.

'There's something that I would like to share with everyone,' said Gwendolyn. 'I received some news from my little brother, Gilderoy, who's still at Hogwarts.'

'Please don't tell me that the Death Eaters have taken control over Hogwarts,' said Remus with a groan.

'The haven't,' said Gwendolyn. 'In fact, there haven't been any sightings on any Death Eaters since the battle last night.'

'They're probably taking their time to recover,' said Sirius bitterly. 'How long before they'll continue their march up north?'

'Gilderoy told me he was inspired by what you did with the Young Order,' Gwendolyn explained. 'He formed his own group at Hogwarts. Hogwarts is still the safest place to be, even now that Dumbledore's gone.'

'How exactly did he manage to contact you?' asked Severus.

'Through me.' It was Aberforth who responded. 'I take messages from students and make sure they reach their families – and vice versa.'

'We haven't exactly been standing still in Oxford, you know?' said Petunia. 'Dumbledore didn't just come to us because it was the safest place to hide. He came to us because we established a network with Roy and mister Aberforth's help.'

A spark of hope started to rise up among the group. 'But this is wonderful news,' said Alice. 'Now we know there's a way in, if needed be.'

'Gilderoy is a Ravenclaw student, right?' asked Severus.

'Yes, he is,' Gwendolyn confirmed. 'What about it?'

'In that case, I need you to deliver a message to him,' said Severus. He grabbed a piece of parchment, dipped his quill in the ink, and hastily started writing out a message.

'I need as much information as possible on Rowena Ravenclaw,' he said as he handed Gwendolyn the letter. 'The last horcrux has to be at Hogwarts, and it has to do something with Rowena Ravenclaw. Since your brother has access to the Ravenclaw tower, he has the highest chance of finding any relevant information.'

'I'll see it to it,' said Gwendolyn as she pocketed the letter.

'I think I want to walk around for a bit,' said Emma. 'I need to find a way to clear my head.'

Everyone present agreed. The rest of the afternoon was spent doing various activities. Some took it upon themselves to clean around the house. Others started pulling out weeds from the garden. Some just talked, and others crawled into a comfortable place to fall asleep.

Nothing could have prepared anyone for the aftermath of the battle. The absence of James, Mary – and even Regulus, could be felt in each passing minute. Sometimes someone would randomly burst out into tears, only to be comforted again by those around them.

By the end of the day, the group had split up between Erwin and Arnica's house, Molly and Arthur's house, and Severus's and Lily's house.

'I'm sorry, Severus,' said Peter as he made himself comfortable on the couch. 'I really did try.'

'I know you did,' said Severus as he handed Peter a blanket. 'You got me Dumbledore's wand. That must count for something.'

'Do you happen to have Dreamless Sleep potions?' asked Peter. 'I don't feel like having to deal with nightmares tonight.'

'I do,' said Severus. 'I'll go get some.'

He found some of the purple coloured potions among his supplies and handed them out to Sirius and Remus as well in case they needed it. He also took one for himself. He knew that the potion was merely a temporary suppression of the problem rather than the solution, but right now, he didn't feel like dealing with the aftermath.

After drinking the potion, he switched off the lights and curled up in Lily's arms; her warmth and her safety providing a welcoming comfort.

…

The first burial happened on the morning of Hallowe'en. Fabian and Gideon Prewett were buried, side by side, on the edge of the Burrow's grounds. Molly lost it once the dirt was poured onto the caskets, and cried until she ran out of tears.

The second burial was that of Mary. Hardly anyone knew Mary's direct family, which made matters a bit more complicated as they demanded answers from anyone who had been present on that battlefield. It had been harsh. Especially on her girlfriends. It had been a painful reminder of the fragility of life, and that a long and happy ending was not a right given to us at birth.

Between the second and the third burial, news arrived from Aberforth that Albus and Gellert had found their final resting place on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. On Minerva McGonagall's orders, he also mentioned in his letter that the sword in the stone was ride beside Albus's headstone, in case he ever needed to find it.

The third burial was that of James. Fleamont and his wife wailed as James's casket was lowered into the ground. Sirius, Remus and Peter had prepared a speech, but Severus hardly had any energy left to listen to what they had to say.

Lily squeezed his hand. 'How are you holding up, Sev?'

'I'm too exhausted to cry,' said Severus. 'James and I – we had just decided to bury the hatchet. 'We went out onto that battlefield as friends. He even saved my life – but I couldn't save his.'

'The thing is, Lily,' Severus continued, 'I think, in the end, I have to admit that James was a better man than me. He gave me his Invisibility Cloak, just so I could make it home to you. Had our roles been reversed, I don't think he wouldn't done what he did for me.'

'He was a good man,' said Lily as she smiled through her tears. 'Bit of a toerag, but he did have his heart in the right place. I can see why I had once decided to have Harry with him. James was a protector, through and through.'

Everyone met up in the Potter's residence after the burial for tea. 'Fleamont,' said Severus once he found an opportunity to talk to him. 'James gave me this. I should hand it back to you.'

Severus held up the Invisibility Cloak for Fleamont, but Fleamont waved it off. 'Keep it,' he said.

'How come?' Severus asked, confused.

'Because the line ended with James,' said Fleamont. 'That's cloak has been in the family for many centuries, you know?'

'I had no idea it was that old,' said Severus. 'It still looks quite new.'

'It belonged to Ignotus Peverell,' said Fleamont. 'He's an ancestor in the line of Potter. Surely you've heard of him.'

'I have, as a matter of fact,' said Severus. Gears in his mind started to click into place. 'He was the youngest of the three brothers in Beetle the Bard's story.'

'Yes indeed,' Fleamont confirmed. 'If one wants to believe the story, that cloak is a piece of Death's own cloak. The one he gave to Ignotius after crossing the river. But whether that is true, I don't think we'll ever truly know.'

'Are you absolutely certain that you don't want it back?' asked Severus.

'I'm certain,' said Fleamont. 'Please, use it well.'

Severus was about to say something when Emma suddenly came running up to him. 'I think Lily's water just broke,' she said, sounding panicky. 'You need to take her home, now!'


	235. The Birth of a Father

Erwin drove the family back to Ottery St. Catchpole as fast as the old Morris permitted. Lily was swearing from the contractions that were convulsing through her body. Through all of it, Severus just held on to her, wandering what on earth he was supposed to do.

'FUCK THIS!' Lily shrieked as she waddled through the living room. 'THIS IS YOUR FAULT, _SEVERUS SNAPE_. FUCK YOU!'

'I deserved that,' said Severus. He was sitting on the couch, along with Erwin, Arnica, Molly, Arthur and Petunia. Their eyes followed Lily as she paced back and forth, cursing the entire room together.

'Are you sure you don't want to l—'

'—I don't want _shit_ , _Severus_ ,' Lily gritted through her teeth. 'I just want this baby out! OUT! YOU HEAR ME!'

'Alright, that's it!' said Arnica sternly and jumped up from the couch. 'You're going into the bedroom with me. It's time for you to lie down.'

'I don't want to lie down,' said Lily. 'I want to keep moving, and I want these _fucking_ contractions to stop, and I want to –'

Arnica grabbed Lily by her shoulders and started steering her towards the bedroom. 'You're going to go in there, and you are going to go take your clothes off,' she ordered. 'Arthur, you grab as many clean blankets you can find. Molly, go fill some buckets with clean water. Petunia, you go and help Molly find washcloths. Erwin, go make sure everything is in order in the baby's room. Severus, you're coming with me.'

Not wanting to argue with Arnica's orders, Severus followed them into their bedroom. 'You go this, Lily,' he said as calmly as he could while helping her take off her clothes. 'Do you want me to be in here with you?'

'I just want my mum,' said Lily as tears from the pain started to sprout in her eyes. 'And Tuney, and Molly if she wants to.'

'I understand completely if you only want women around you,' said Severus. He cupped her face with both of his hands and kissed her on her forehead. As Lily laid down on her side, he massaged her in all the places that felt painful to her. He placed a hand on her belly, and he could feel their baby twisting and wriggling, desperately trying to get out.

Lily's hair was already damp from all the sweat by the time Molly and Petunia returned. They carried in buckets of water and the blankets that Arthur must have found.

'You think you can take it from here, Molly?' asked Severus as he dabbed a wet washcloth over Lily's face.

Molly answered him with a genuine smile. 'This is the best thing that could've happened to me on this day. I got this.'

Severus kissed Lily on her cheek. 'Yell if you need me. I'll be on the other side.'

He found Erwin and Arthur, along with Paul and Leo on the couch. 'Everything alright in there?' asked Erwin hopefully.

'She's doing great, I think,' said Severus as he joined them. 'She doesn't want me in there with her.'

'Neither did Arnica when she gave birth to Petunia,' said Erwin. 'She was a little more forgiving with Lily, so I was with her then. Not going to lie. It's not a pretty sight.'

'It certainly isn't,' said Arthur. 'I don't think I'll ever get used to it. Even now that we have a fourth one on the way.'

'One is frightening enough as it is,' said Severus. He only just released how badly he was shaking from the nerves. 'I'm about to become a father.'

'And I'm about to become a grandfather,' said Erwin as he gave Severus a pat on his back. 'This is a moment you're never going to forget, Severus.'

Paul curled up on Severus's lap while Leo snuggled up in the nape of his neck. It was a welcoming distraction from the frequent screams coming out of their bedroom.

'Is it supposed to take this long?' asked Severus. It felt as if he had been waiting around for hours.

'It can be over in a matter of minutes, or it can last the entire day,' said Arthur was a shrug. 'Bill took forever. Charlie came out before Molly was able to reach the bed. Percy took a few hours. It's nothing to worry about. Anyone want tea?'

'I feel like I need to do something. Sorry Paul,' said Severus as he shoved Paul to the side. 'I'll go make some tea.'

Before entering the kitchen, he knocked on the bedroom door. 'Is everything alright in there? The suspense is killing me.'

It was Petunia who peaked her head through the door. 'She's doing great, Severus,' she said. 'I've never experienced anything like this before, so I'm scared as hell, but she's doing great – really.'

Through the crack of the door opening, Severus could hear Lily wailing from the pain. 'Lily, do you need my help with anything?' he asked.

'GET THE HELL OUT!' Lily snapped back.

'Message received,' said Severus as he bit his lip.

'Yeah, I don't think you want to see this, Severus,' said Petunia with an apologetic look. 'I almost fainted already. Last thing we need is for you to faint for real.'

'I just feel really guilty,' Severus admitted. 'I'm out there – about to drink tea, and she's in here, fighting though a thing that I caused.'

'You should feel guilty,' said Petunia with a huff, 'and yes, you are the reason that she has to go through this. But there's one thing you need to keep in mind, Severus. What Lily's doing right now, that is a woman's work. Go drink your tea.'

Petunia closed the door behind her. Her words carried a painful truth to them, as they often did, coming out of her mouth. This was indeed a woman's work, and there was nothing else for him to do but sit around and wait.

He returned to the living room with several cups and a pot of tea. 'Petunia said that Lily's doing great,' he said as he handed Erwin a cup of tea.

'Glad to hear that,' said Erwin.

Severus cradled the cup around in his hands as he looked out of the window at their garden. It was clear that the autumn season had started. Most of the flowers had wilted and the ground was covered in leaves. It was also the evening of Hallowe'en. A cursed day, and Severus could only hope that the biggest curse had been all the funerals they had attended hours ago.

Severus had barely noticed that Erwin had joined him. 'How are you holding up?' asked Erwin while looking at the garden as well.

'Like I'm on the outside looking in,' said Severus.

'It's been a difficult day,' said Erwin. 'Not to mention that it's All Souls Night. It's always been a bit of a strange day, especially after we found out that Lily's a witch.'

'It's been exactly a year since Lily and I heard the prophecy,' said Severus. 'Strange things always happen on this day, and never on our favour.'

A look of concern appeared on Erwin's face. 'Are you worried about your child, Severus?'

Severus sipped his tea. 'I'm worried about the fact that I don't know if I should be worried, if that makes any sense.'

'It does,' said Erwin. 'Me telling you that you needn't worry will carry no meaning, but I do believe that there's very little for you to be concerned about.'

'I just hope you're right,' said Severus as he drained the rest of his tea. 'It's taking an awfully long time.'

'It isn't,' said Erwin. 'It just feels that way.'

'Is it possible, to ever truly be ready to become a father?' said Severus. 'Even in this moment, I still haven't got a clue what I'm supposed to do.'

'Feed it. Cuddle it – and hope that it won't cause too many sleepless nights,' said Erwin. 'Babies are surprising easy. Things get a lot more complicated by the time they start walking.'

'Or when they start showing their first signs of accidental magic,' Severus added.

'If only I had known that that's what it was with Lily,' said Erwin. 'I've had my fair share of nightmares from all the flying tea saucers.'

Severus snickered at the thought of a young Lily making tea saucers fly. 'I remember my mother telling me that I would set the curtains on fire whenever my dad got angry. That was my accidental magic.'

'Quite sad, if you think about it,' said Erwin.

'It was,' said Severus. 'I can only hope I don't turn out to be the man my father was to me.'

'That's irrational and you know it,' said Erwin strictly. 'You are nothing like your own father, Severus.'

Severus wanted to argue, but decided against it. In his previous life he had turned out to be exactly that. Bitter, resentful and loveless. He knew how far he was capable of spiralling down, erecting walls whenever anyone tried to get close to him. 'I have hated my father – and I mean, _hated_ , for as long as I can remember. But now, now that I know who is ultimately responsible for my mother's death, I just pity him. He was just another cog in a cycle of abuse. His own father – my grandfather, wasn't a very nice man either.'

Erwin wrapped an arm around Severus's shoulder. 'My own father wasn't a very nice man either, you know. Not abusive in the sense that your father was, but he was cold – and distant, and very old-fashioned. The idea of having a male heir in the line of Evans was more important than just loving your own children. I think the reason why I love having daughters so much, is because it went against my father's principles. It feels like a big "fuck you" to him for putting that kind of pressure on me. It feels good, to be able to let it go.'

'You're going to be a wonderful father, Severus,' Erwin added. 'If anyone can break through the cycle of abuse, it's going to be you.'

Severus felt tears welling up in his eyes. He was about to say something, when suddenly Petunia came storming out of the bedroom. 'Severus!' she said as she ran up to him. Her hands were covered in a gooey slime, and tears of happiness were streaming down her face. 'Come meet your daughter.'

His heart started to pound violently in his chest. 'Daughter,' he mumbled to himself as he ran after Petunia into the bedroom. He found Lily leaning up against headboard of the bed. The baby was crying on her chest, the umbilical cord still attached to her navel.

Lily was covered in sweat from the battle she had fought, and Severus thought to himself that she looked more beautiful than ever before.

'Come on in,' said Arnica as she waved at him to get closer. 'Come meet your little girl.'

Severus carefully sat down on the bed next to Lily and looked down on the little girl that was resting on her chest. He was mesmerized, perplexed and speechless. It wasn't a pretty sight, and yet it was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on.

'Feel free to cut the cord, Severus,' said Molly as she handed him a pair of scissors. 'Time for you to play your part.'

Severus cut through the umbilical cord where Molly pointed at. 'I need to go clean her up, dear,' said Molly. 'Do you mind if I take her?'

'Do what you need to do,' said Lily, still breathing heavily.

Lily rested her head against Severus's shoulder as they watched the three women fuss over their baby. 'How are you, Sev?'

'Wouldn't it be better if I asked you that question?' said Severus without taking his eyes of his daughter.

'I feel strong,' said Lily with a hint of pride.

They watched as Petunia carefully wrapped their daughter up in a blanket. She was about to hand her to Lily, when Lily stopped her. 'Give her to Sev,' she said. 'I got to hold her for nine months. It's his turn.'

Severus held out his arms and pulled her in close. Waves of emotions crashed down on him as they looked down at their little girl. She looked just like him. Little tuffs of black hair were sticking out in odd angles. Through the cracks of her eyelids he could see the dark colour of her irises, and thought to himself that, despite the many similarities they shared, he was somewhat relieved to see that she hadn't inherited his nose.

'What's her name?' Petunia whispered as she leaned in closer. 'I figured that – as her fairy godmother, I have a right to be the first to know.'

'Her name is Julia,' said Lily. 'Julia Eileen Snape.'

'That's a beautiful name,' Petunia whispered back. 'I can go and get dad if you want.'

'Yes,' said Lily, 'and bring Arthur in as well. Everyone should come in and meet her. Sev can – Sev, you are okay?'

Severus had started to shake from the emotional outburst that came pouring out of his soul. Despite smiling from ear to ear, tears had started streaming down his face. 'I'm fine,' he said. 'Truly, I am. It's just that – It's just that I really miss my mum right now. She would've loved to have seen this.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Why the name Julia? Julia Domna was the wife of Roman emperor Lucius Septimius Severus Augustus (but was mostly known as just Severus.) The cool thing about Julia was her high status as a woman in those times. She received many honorary titles, was involved in building projects, was very politically involved and surrounded herself with philosophers and other intellectuals. There's a lot more to her, but it all comes down to the fact that she's a total badass (although her life does come with a tragic ending), and that's why I wanted to give Severus's daughter that name.  
> Aside from that, Lily mentioned that she liked the name "Juliana" back in chaper 169. Juliana being the queen of The Netherlands at the time.


	236. The Destruction of the Glenfinnan Viaduct

For more than a week, Severus and Lily were living on a pink cloud. Ever since Julia arrived, every moment was spent looking after her and learning about her needs. She had been proven to be a rather easy baby. Perhaps Erwin had been right. Babies really weren't as complicated as they were often proclaimed to be.

Fatherhood was treating him well. Severus figured there was something soothing about Julia's presence in the house, and as long as she didn't need to be nursed, he would spend most of his time cuddling with her on the couch.

It was bizarre, almost liberating, even, to learn that it was possible to love another human as much as he loved his own daughter. Frightening as the days before her arrival had been, so wonderful were the days now that she was here.

The war lay nearly forgotten each time one of the members of the Young Order came to visit. There was talk of their friends who had fallen, but it was limited to a bare minimum. Julia's birth had come exactly when everyone seemed to have needed it the most. She was the confirmation that there's always life after death – and she had sparked a ray of hope within everyone after the terrible loss they had suffered on the battlefield at Hadrian's Wall.

Halfway through November, the long-expected letter from Gilderoy arrived.

_Dear Severus and Lily,_

_First of all, congratulations on the birth of your daughter. My sister has told me all about it in her letter to me, and I'm happy to hear that she's in good health._

_The battle of Hadrian's Wall has not gone unnoticed at Hogwarts. I truly am sorry for the loss of your friends. I have managed to visit Dumbledore's grave. There's another nameless grave beside him. Rumours and speculations on who it could be are travelling down the corridors, but so far none of the suspicions have been confirmed by a teacher._

_You asked what it is that I know about the history of Rowena Ravenclaw. I have searched for anything significant. Her most noticeable attributes were that of her creativity and wisdom. Her wisdom being the most important one here, is at relates to her daughter, Helena Ravenclaw._

'Isn't Helena the ghost of Ravenclaw house?' asked Lily.

'She is,' said Severus. 'I've never really bothered to strike up long conversations with ghosts though. Especially not with the Bloody Baron. Grumpy sod that he was – or is.'

_Helena fled to Albania after stealing her mother's diadem. According to legend, she was jealous of her mother's wisdom, which was contained and enhanced within said diadem. I don't really know what happened in the meantime, but Helena died before her mother did. Rowena died shortly of heartbreak afterwards, mostly likely because she lost her daughter._

_I tried to speak with Helena, but she's refusing to answer to any of my questions. I'm afraid there's very little else that I can do for you on that matter._

_On another note, problems are starting to arise here at Hogwarts that have very little to do with Headmistress Umbridge. The Dementors are getting restless. Some have been sighted patrolling the streets of Hogsmeade, even though they haven't been ordered to do so. I fear that the interbellum between the battle at Hadrian's Wall and whatever's coming next, is coming to an end._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Gilderoy Lockhart_

'Such formal writing from such a young man,' said Lily as she looked up from the letter.

'Gwendolyn's writers just as formal,' said Severus with a shrug. 'That diadem's got me thinking though…'

'Do you think Remus knows anything more about it?' asked Lily.

'Possibly,' said Severus. 'Could you hand me the Deluminator? Julia's asleep and I don't want to move.'

'At some point you're going to have to realise that she's my daughter too, Sev,' said Lily as she got up to grab the Deluminator. 'This way she's going to end up liking you more than me.'

Severus grinned as he took the Deluminator from Lily's hands. 'Who said that wasn't my plan from the very beginning?'

Lily wrapped her arms around Severus's shoulders and touched the little hands of their daughter, who was still sound asleep in his arms. 'You're a great dad, Sev,' she whispered into his ear. 'She's lucky to have you. Now, go talk to Remus.'

'Young Order,' Severus said to the Deluminator. 'Remus, are you there?'

Remus's voice appeared through the static. ' _I'm here, Severus. How are you? How's Julia_?'

'We're all doing great, Remus,' said Severus. 'I just received a letter from Gwendolyn's little brother, and there are a couple of things that I wanted to ask.'

' _Fire away_ ,' said Remus.

'What do you know about diadems in the Arthurian legends?' asked Severus.

' _What on earth are diadems_?' asked Remus.

'A semi-circular crown worn by women,' said Lily matter-of-factly. 'They're also known as tiaras.'

' _I know nothing of tiaras – or diadems for that matter, related to Arthurian times_ ,' said Remus, ' _but then again, maybe that terminology wasn't used yet. What about it_?'

'In the letter he explains that Rowena Ravenclaw was known for the diadem she wore,' Severus explained. 'Supposedly it makes the wearer more intelligent or wise. According to legend, her daughter Helena had stolen it – and it was never seen again.'

Severus could hear Remus leafing through a pile of books. ' _There are a lot of crowns mentioned in the Arthurian legends_ ,' he said. _'Since this is about a feminine crown, my best bet would be on the crown of Arthur Pendragon's wife, Guinevere. It's impossible to trace back what her crown might have looked like, but at least we know she had one after she was crowned queen of Camelot_.'

'Guinevere's crown was never found again, wasn't it?' asked Severus.

' _I highly doubt we'll ever find it in a museum_ ,' said Remus. ' _Do you think You-Know-Who managed to get his hands on it somehow_?'

'I think he did,' said Severus. 'In fact, I don't think the crown is lost at all. The Dark Lord is making his way up north. He wants to protect his remaining Horcruxes at all costs, and I think it may be the very reason why he wants to reach Hogwarts. That diadem has to be there.'

' _Has anyone read the Muggle newspapers yet_?' asked Frank through the static. ' _The Evening Prophet won't arrive for another couple of hours, but something has happened_.'

In that moment, Erwin came busting through the front door. 'This is not an accident, was it?' he said as he handed Lily his paper. 'Oh, can I hold my granddaughter, Severus?'

'All yours,' said Severus as he handed Julia over. 'What does it say in the papers?'

' _Glenfinnan Viaduct has collapsed_ ,' said Frank.

'Muggles are attributing it to poor maintenance,' said Lily as she looked up from the paper. 'That viaduct has been held up with the use of magic for a long time though.'

' _I think the Death Eaters are trying to cut off easy access to Hogwarts_ ,' said Frank. ' _Students can't travel in or out now_.'

'What's Headmistress Umbridge's story in all of this?' asked Lily.

' _I think we'll have to wait for the Evening Prophet to arrive to hear her message_ ,' said Frank. ' _Loads of parents are already worried now that it's hard to contact their children. Now their children can't travel home either. It's a mess_.'

'And the Dementors are also getting restless,' Severus added. 'We'll have to wait and see what the Evening Prophet will bring.'

' _Roger that_ ,' said Frank. ' _We'll talk again later today_.'

' _Understood_ ,' said Remus.

'So, the Horcrux is at Hogwarts,' said Lily.

'It has to be,' said Severus. 'I'm afraid it was going to have to come down to this again.'

'Come down to what again?' asked Erwin as he rocked Julia in his arms.

'Nothing,' said Severus quickly. 'I just figured that, one way or another, the Dark Lord's intentions will be to take over Hogwarts – and when he does, it's going to be bloody.'

'Are you absolutely positive that Dolores Umbridge is not a Death Eater?' asked Erwin.

'Positive,' said Severus. 'Right now she's governing Hogwarts on her own, which, mind you, certainly isn't a positive thing. But she's not answering to Corban Yaxley, either. At least I hope not. We'll find out when the news arrives.'

'Sev, I was thinking,' said Lily. 'Is it possible, perhaps, that Umbridge is held under the Imperius Curse?'

'What makes you think that?'

'I don't mean to be prejudiced against Slytherin students,' said Lily as carefully as she could, 'but many of them are still related to Death Eaters and pure-blood fanatics. Can you think of anyone that was _not_ present at the battle of Hadrian's Wall?'

Severus closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in order to think. 'There were many people there that day,' he said, 'any many I could have overlooked, but I see what it is you're saying.'

'My best bet is Avery,' said Lily. 'Gilderoy may have formed a group with students against You-Know-Who's rising, but that doesn't mean that there can't be groups at Hogwarts who are doing the opposite.'

'I'll write another letter to Gilderoy,' he said as he started looking around for a quill. 'Unfortunately, it'll take a long time before the letter gets there, and even longer before we'll be able to receive a response. But I think you may be right, Lily. We need to find out of Umbridge has been acting stranger than usual.'

'What will happen if she does turn out to be under the influence of that curse?' asked Erwin.

'Then we're royally fucked, as Sirius would say,' said Severus. 'But in all seriousness, putting someone under the Imperius Curse is complicated and a very advanced kind of magic. Even if Avery is doing it, it still might not give the intended results that he's hoping for. Umbridge's motives are highly political, and Avery isn't exactly the brightest bulb on the tree.'

'I don't think we should underestimate him, Sev,' said Lily in a serious manner. 'Nor any of his friends, for that matter. Those Dementors out there obey to Umbridge's wishes, and if someone Imperiused her, she could set those Dementors off on any student they wish to see kissed.'

Erwin raised an eyebrow. 'Kissed?' he asked. ' _Kissed_?'

'They call it kissing,' said Severus, 'but what they're really do is suck out your soul until there is nothing left but an empty shell of your former self.'

'Sometimes ignorance truly is bliss,' said Erwin, still somewhat shocked by Severus's words. 'I shouldn't have asked.'

'Consider yourself fortunate that you can't see them,' Severus added. 'Could I have Julia back?'

Lily glared at Severus. 'No, you're not,' she said. 'I think I'm going to take Julia, _for once_ , and then I'm going to feed her. Which, fortunately for me, you can't do.'

'Lily wins this round, Severus,' said Erwin as he handed Julia over to Lily. Lily took Julia into the bedroom to nurse her, leaving the two men alone in the living room.

'Told you you'd make a wonderful father,' said Erwin with a wink.

'I don't know if I'm a wonderful father,' said Severus, 'but it certainly does feel wonderful to be one.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The Glenfinnan Viaduct is the famous bridge that the Hogwarts Express crosses in most of the movies.


	237. Memorial at the Halfway House

There had been a message in the Evening Prophet from Dolores Umbridge. It was brief, plain, and the words carried no meaning despite covering the front page. Umbridge had stated that the Dementors were in control, which meant that Lily's assumption that Umbridge may be under the influence of the Impirius Curse was a definite plausibility now.

The Invisibility Cloak was draped over Severus's arm, and he was twirling the Elder Wand in his hand. He was sitting beside Julia's crib with the Tales of Beedle the Bard resting on his lap. He had just finished reading the Tale of the Three Brothers to her. Not that she would understand, of course. He figured he needed to hear the story again for himself now that he was in possession of two of the Hallows.

The last Hallow was still at Hogwarts. The last time he had seen the stone, Dumbledore had kept it in his office along with the diary, and he wondered if Dumbledore had hidden it somewhere now that Umbridge was the new headmistress. For a brief moment, he wondered what would happen if he did possess all three Hallows. Would the Hallows combined truly make him a master of Death? Figuring he had no desire to find out, he decided not to dwell on it for too long.

After he was certain that Julia had fallen asleep, he joined Lily in the living room. He found her with the Deluminator in her hand, chatting with Alice.

'Sev, the group wants to meet at the Halfway House in London tomorrow,' said Lily. 'Professor McGonagall is going to be there as well.'

'How come?' asked Severus.

'It's a memorial service for everyone we lost on that battlefield,' said Lily. 'And also because they want to discuss on the future of Hogwarts.'

'Do you want to come with?' asked Severus.

'Well of course,' said Lily. 'I can always ask mum and dad to look after Julia. Do you want to come with, though? London's not exactly the safest place for you to be right now.'

Severus held up the Invisibility Cloak. 'It's a good thing you're short. It can cover the both of us while I Apparate us there.'

'I'll take the risk,' said Lily. 'Tomorrow at noon, Alice?'

' _Tomorrow at noon_ ,' Alice confirmed. ' _See you then_.'

…

All the remaining members of the Young Order had gathered at the Halfway House, along with mister Nicholas Mulpeper, Damocles Belby and, to Severus's surprise, Fleamont Potter. Professor McGonagall and Slughorn had also joined them at the round table.

'How have you been holding up, Fleamont?' asked Severus.

'It comes in waves,' Fleamont answered. 'I don't think there's anything that could ever prepare you for the loss of your own children. I still don't really know how to cope. But right now, I mainly want to focus on bringing _Voldemort_ down.'

'You dare say his name?' Severus asked, surprised.

'I refuse to fear the thing my son laid down his life for,' said Fleamont sourly. 'If the day ever comes that I will face him on a battlefield again – I will not hesitate to try and end his life.'

'That I understand,' said Severus. 'So many things feel differently now that I have a daughter. I always feel like I need to protect her. Sometimes I don't even know what for. I just have to.'

'So it's a girl,' said Fleamont, and a rare smile appeared on his lips. 'I'm happy to hear that.'

'Her name is Julia,' said Severus proudly, 'and she looks just like me. Poor thing.'

Professor McGonagall tapped with a teaspoon against a glass to draw everyone's attention. 'Thank you all for coming here,' she said. 'I'd prefer it if we call cut straight to business. I presume everyone has read the Evening Prophet. Then you must also be aware of the troubles we are facing at Hogwarts.'

'Just out of curiosity, professor,' said Evan carefully, 'but how come that Umbridge is still the headmistress? She was appointed by minister Minchum, but now that Yaxley is in charge…'

'Because of a magical contract,' McGonagall explained. 'She's legally obligated to run Hogwarts unless the minister himself were to fire her from her position. However, it appears Corban Yaxley has no intentions on replacing her. Probably because he's aware of her incompetence.'

'Professor, are you saying that Yaxley is just waiting on her to make a wrong move?' asked Lily.

'That's exactly what I'm afraid of,' said McGonagall. 'There's been an ongoing debate amongst the staff whether we should send the students home or not. I personally would prefer it if the students were to remain at Hogwarts. Hogwarts, is still, the safest place to be. Especially now that the Dark Mark has been sighted again along the east coast.'

'What about the Dementors?' asked Frank.

'The staff has been able to keep them under control – for now,' said McGonagall. 'Albus's brother, Aberforth – of whom I know some of you have met, has been making sure that the Dementors will no longer travel down to Hogsmeade with the help of some residents.'

'For now,' Frank repeated. 'But what will happen when they can no longer be controlled?'

McGonagall removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. 'Right now, they are still guarding the castle,' she said matter-of-factly. 'If they turn, the must be destroyed. If they are destroyed, it will leave the boundaries of the grounds weakened. It's a mess, mister Longbottom. A complicated mess.'

'How can we reach the castle, if the time comes?' asked Sirius. 'I mean, the Glennfinnan bridge has been destroyed, and most of us haven't learned how to Apparate because we left school before we could learn.'

'Have you ever heard of a broomstick, mister Black?' said McGonagall.

'Not all of us own broomsticks, and—'

'—that can easily be taken care of,' said Fleamont as he waved it off. 'It takes a long time to fly up north, though. Isn't there a quicker way? The Floo Network, perhaps?'

'Umbridge has closed off the Floo Network at Hogwarts,' said McGonagall. 'Not without reason, of course. She's scared that the Network would make it too easy for Death Eaters to make it into Hogwarts.'

'There is another way,' said Remus suddenly.

'Porkeys are traced though,' said Emma. 'We can't—'

'—I don't mean Portkeys,' said Remus. 'I meant a much older form of transportation.'

'I see where you're going with this,' said Peter. 'Are you talking about the stone circles?'

'Exactly,' said Remus. 'Stonehenge is the most famous of them all, but there are over thirteen hundred stone circles scattered throughout the country. Most of them – if not all – have been around before Merlin. Before recorded history, even.'

'Is _that_ wat they were used for?' asked Emma, genuinely surprised. 'I always thought they were just used as calendars.'

'To Muggles, perhaps,' said Remus. 'The invention of Floo Powder by Ignatia Wildsmith in the seventeenth century basically put the stone circles out of practise. Now they're merely forgotten relics.'

'We're practically surrounded by stone circles in Devon,' said Lily. 'Yellowmead, Grey Wethers, Nine Stones, just to name a few. Question is though, do they still work?'

'I don't see why they shouldn't,' said Remus. 'Thing is, I'll have to figure out _how_ they were used first.'

'I'm positive madam Pince won't mind if I borrowed a book or two from the library for you, mister Lupin,' said McGonagall.

'Thank you, professor,' said Remus. 'Anyone up for tea? I could use a break.'

Several nods of agreement travelled through the room, and Damocles took it as an opportunity to speak with Severus and Lily in private. 'Congratulations,' he said. 'How does it feel, being parents?'

'Feels wonderful,' said Lily. From her pocket, she pulled out a polaroid picture of Julia, resting in Severus's arms. 'Here she is.'

'Something worth fighting for, aren't they?' said Damocles as he handed the picture back to Lily. 'Looks just like you, Severus.'

'I'm afraid she'll have to keep hearing that for the rest of her life,' said Severus. 'If you'll excuse me, I think professor McGonagall wants to speak with me.'

'I got something for you,' said McGonagall as she handed him a letter. 'From mister Lockhart.'

'Does this mean you are aware of the secret group Gilderoy has formed?' asked Severus with a grin.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows. 'Do you think I was born yesterday, mister Snape? I knew about all your adventures too. Albus and I have had some good laughs about it over tea.'

'I should've known,' said Severus.

'Do you still wish to become an Animagus?' McGonagall asked.

'If I really wanted to, I could've asked those three,' said Severus as he nodded in the direction of Sirius, Remus and Peter. 'If they can do it, I'm quite positive I can do it too.'

'And what makes you think they did it themselves, mister Snape?' a rare smile appeared on McGonagall's face.

'I should've known that, too,' said Severus, smiling back. 'Is it really as complicated as they say?'

'No more complicated than it is to brew Felix Felicis,' said McGonagall. 'Out of all people, I figured you should've been the one to know that it requires a Potion.'

Severus's mouth fell open in surprise. 'A potion?' he sputtered. 'I've read pretty much anything there is on potions, and never have I once encountered anything about Animagi.'

'There's a reason it needs to be approved by the Ministry, mister Snape,' said McGonagall strictly. 'But now that I no longer approve of the Ministry, I see no harm in sharing this information with you.'

From the inside of her pocket, McGonagall pulled out an ancient looking book. 'I don't think they'll notice it missing,' she said with a wink. 'Consider it a gift.'

'Thank you,' said Severus, amazed by the gift she had just given him, and brought his voice down to a whisper. 'Professor, are you, by any chance, aware of my role in the Prophecy?'

McGonagall's face softened a little. 'I am,' she said.

Severus leaned in closer to her. 'Then I want you to know that, at some point in my strange history, we used to be friends.'

'I can believe that,' said McGonagall.

'I also learned that I never want to be on the receiving end of your wand,' Severus added.

'I can believe that, too,' she said while giving him a pat on his back. 'I remember the day you walked into Hogwarts for the very first time, right beside miss Evans. I can tell that you've changed, and you have changed for the better.'

'There was a time when I had nothing to live for,' said Severus, 'and now I have everything to live for, which is equally as scary.'

McGonagall stood up to speak with mister Mulpeper and was swiftly replaced by Lily. 'What you got there, Sev?' she asked as she eyed the book suspiciously.

'This is a letter from Gilderoy,' he said as he handed her the letter, 'and this book is something you'll get to see after you finish reading said letter.'

_Dear Severus,_

_Unfortunately, there are indeed groups within Hogwarts that support You-Know-Who. The overwhelming majority of them are in Slytherin, but the support extends across all Houses. Recently some of them, led by a Slytherin named Avery, discovered we had been using the Room-Of-Come-And-Go for practise. Avery appeared to be set on plotting for revenge for his friend Mulciber, who presumably died at the battle of Hadrian's Wall._

_Severus, I believe you may be right about Umbridge being under the influence of a curse. She favours Slytherin students above all the others. Not that that's strange, as Slytherin was also her house when she was a student here, but she also seems to favour those who are out and open about being affiliated with Death Eaters. It seems off to me. Either that, or she is simply in denial about being an actual Death Eater. She did seem genuinely upset though, when Minister Minchum was murdered and the Ministry had fallen, so I still doubt that she is connected to Know-Know-Who somehow._

_I am going to continue to track Avery and his gang and I'll send you any relevant updates whenever possible. Christmas is around the corner, and I don't think any of us will be going home.'_

_Yours sincerely,_

_Gilderoy Lockhart_

After reading the letter to herself, Lily read the letter again out loud for everyone to hear. Gilderoy's last line had tickled everyone in the wrong way. "I don't think any of us will be going home." Once again, it dawned on everyone that they would have to wait for the Dark Lord to make the next move.

They spend the remainder of the afternoon talking about what had happened during the battle of Hadrian's Wall. Severus felt that the more he was able to talk about it, the more he was able to cope with the painful emotions that came with it.

Before everyone returned home, they raised their glasses in honour of those who had fallen. The war was may have clad their world in darkness, but as long as they had each other, there would also be light.


	238. The End of the Interbellum

'I got some of those Mandrake leaves you were looking for,' said Lily.

'And I found _this_ , on the inside of the book,' said Severus as he held up the book for her to see. 'See it for yourself.'

Severus had been reading through the ancient book McGonagall had given him. There was a long process involved into brewing the Animagus potion. Several cauldrons in the brewery were reserved for the test. Lily had just gotten her hands on some Mandrake leaves. Getting their hands on the chrysalis of a Death's-Head Hawkmoth proved to be easier than expected (although it did require some help from Damocles). Collecting dew that was untouched by sunlight however, turned out to be a lot more complicated than anticipated, and required them to get up very early in the morning in the hopes of finding any dew before sunrise. So far, no luck.

' _Ce livre appartient à Perenelle Flamel_ ,' Lily cited with a smile. ' _This book belongs to Perenelle Flamel_. Funny how things have a way of coming back in the end.'

'Makes me wonder why she decided on becoming a Kingfisher,' said Severus.

'Is it even a choice?' asked Lily as she flipped through the pages. 'Doesn't it work in a similar way as getting your Patronus?'

'Haven't read that far yet,' said Severus. 'You're probably right though, considering how the Marauder's Patronuses were the same as their Animagus form.'

'Does that mean we'll both turn into cute little does?' said Lily teasingly.

'Kind of wished there was a way to pick an Animagus form now,' said Severus as he cut the Mandrake leaves into neat little slices. 'I'd rather pick something with wings.'

'You really have gotten over your fear of heights, haven't you?'

'It was never the heights,' said Severus. 'It was the fear of falling. Lilith taught me not to be afraid. Poor girl…'

Lily wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. 'You really loved her, didn't you?'

'She was always there when I needed her – just like you,' said Severus, feeling a little gloomy. 'She also died a very tragic death – just like you.'

'An odd comparison, but I'll take it,' said Lily after she had planted a kiss on his forehead. 'Any idea how long it's going to take to finish this potion?'

'About a year, considering the amount of moon cycles it needs to go through,' said Severus. 'It's going take a lot longer and it's far more complicated than the Felix Felicis we once brewed.'

'Our greatest challenge yet,' said Lily with a sly grin. 'Aside from raising Julia, of course.'

Severus carefully tossed the sliced-up Mandrake leaves into the cauldron. 'I'm done for today. You need any help with the Christmas preparations for tomorrow?'

'You can help me put the star on top of the Christmas tree,' said Lily. 'I'm too short to reach it.'

'Have you suddenly forgotten you're a witch?' said Severus with a raised eyebrow. 'Just levitate the damn thing on top of the tree.'

Lily pushed her hands into her hips. 'That's not the point, Sev, and you know it.'

A sly grin appeared on Severus's face. 'What will I get if I put the star on top of the tree?'

Lily shrugged. 'Oh, I don't know,' she said innocently, 'but Julia is still asleep…'

Severus cupped Lily's face and kissed her passionately. 'I'll meet you in the bedroom, preferably with fewer clothes on.'

…

The entire family, including all the Weasleys, had gathered at the Kingfisher for Christmas eve. Since it was going to be Julia's first Christmas, Erwin had brought his polaroid camera to make some group pictures of the whole family together.

So many things had changed since the last Christmas they had all spent together. Not that the family really had much of a Christmas last year, as their house in Cokeworth was burned down by Death Eaters. Still, their new life in Ottery St. Catchpole was treating them well. Within a year, Petunia had a new love in her life. Erwin and Arnica were enjoying their retirement in the Muggle part of town. Severus and Lily had gotten married, started their own potion brewery and had become parents to Julia. Despite the severity of the war, and the burden of having lost many of their friends, some things had also changed for the better – and for good.

Severus put the poloid Erwin had taken of him with Lily and Julia in front of the Christmas tree on the mantle of the hearth, right next to the picture of him and Lily on the swings at the playground in Cokeworth, of them on his old motorbike and of him holding Julia for the first time. He had a feeling that there were many pictures that were yet to come. Perhaps of him with a brand-new motorbike, which he promised himself he would buy as soon as the war was over. Perhaps there would also be pictures of them with a few more children…the future was wide open.

Severus and Lily figured that buying presents was going to be too much of an undertaking, and decided to brew their own gifts based on something similar Severus had done for Petunia the previous year. Aside from the pearly white ink Petunia had used to paint unicorns with, they had created a whole array of colourful magical inks for both Petunia and Gwendolyn to use once they go back to Oxford after Christmas. They also made a potion for Molly (and for Arthur to use on her) to help her with her backaches now that she was carrying twins. For Arnica, they had made a perfume that would smell in whatever scent it would please her, and for Erwin they made a collection of Pepper-Up potions, now that he was battling a common cold.

'These colours are so vibrant!' said Gwendolyn cheerfully. 'Thank you so much for these.'

'I think it's time for a new family portrait,' Petunia added.

'Just don't forget to include Gwendolyn this time,' said Lily with a wink. 'Molly, you've really outdone yourself with this dinner.'

The dining table was covered in delicious goods. There was a pan full of creamy bell pepper and pumpkin soup. Baked potatoes sprinkled with rosemary and sea salt. Portobellos stuffed with blue cheese, arugula side salads and to top it all off, two oven baked honey-glazed chickens.

'Oh, it's nothing dear,' said Molly as she waved it off.

Severus looked at all the food that was being presented in front of him. The last time he had seen Molly put something similar on the table, it was during Christmas at Grimmauld Place – and he hadn't eaten anything then. This wasn't the first time that Molly's food brought him back to those times. He remembered entering Sirius's old bedroom that day. He remembered that the room was covered in posters of motorbikes and scantily clad Muggle girls. No doubt that it had been Sirius's way of pissing off his parents. In the room, he had found a picture with Lily in it, and a letter addressed to Sirius baring her love. While everyone else was enjoying their Christmas together, he had been crying his heart out, secluded and shut off from happiness.

'You are alright, Sev?' asked Lily. She was rubbing the side of his arm, sensing that something was wrong.

'Just an old memory,' he answered thinly. 'I can show it to you in the Pensieve later, if you want.'

'I will if it'll bring you some peace of mind,' said Lily. 'Want some soup?'

Severus's eyes shifted from Julia, who was wriggling around in her cot, to Bill and Charlie, who were teaching Percy to pick the arugula out of the salad. He was looking at everyone that was sitting at the dining table. _His_ dining table, happily chatting away about everything that mattered in their lives. A smile formed on his lips as he turned to Lily. 'I want to have it all,' he said. 'Perenelle would've called me selfish, but I really want to have it all.'

…

That evening, after everyone had left and Julia had fallen asleep, Severus showed Lily the memory of the Christmas he had spent at Grimmauld Place. He felt that she needed to see it. Not that she would pity him. She never did and it was one of the things that he appreciated so much about her. It was more to show her the changes that had occurred in his life now that she was around. She was, in every way, shape and form, a positive influence on him. He wanted her to see that, and know that, as a gift to her.

Lily cuddled up in Severus's arms when they went to bed. They chatted about the future as if the war didn't exist. About Christmases to come. About growing their business. About which house Julia would be sorted in, once she was old enough to attend Hogwarts. About expanding their family, _whenever the time was right._

After a while, Lily had fallen asleep mid-sentence and was snoring softly against his chest. Severus drew in her musky scent and felt his eyelids getting heavy. He was nearly asleep when the static from the Deluminator started to cackle.

' _Severus, Lily_ ,' said Remus softly. ' _Are you still awake_?'

'I am now,' Severus growled. 'What is it, Remus?'

' _There's been an attack in Exeter, not far from you_ ,' said Remus. ' _There have been several attacks again all over the country, actually_.'

Severus carefully rolled out of bed and took the Deluminator out of the bedroom. 'What is it you are suggesting, Remus?'

' _Is it okay if I come over to your place_?' asked Remus. ' _I think I figured out how the Standing Stones work,_ _and I want to try it out_.'

'Which Stone Circle do you intend on using?' asked Severus.

' _Grey Whethers Stone Circle is near Postbridge, and closest to me_ ,' said Remus. ' _Could you perhaps meet me at your nearest_? _I think yours is the Gidleigh Stone Circle, but the Muggles call it Scorhill_.'

'I'll met you there,' said Severus, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Severus quickly got dressed, left a note for Lily on the coffee table in case she woke up, grabbed the Invisibility Cloak and Apparated to the Gidleigh Stone Circle. He landed in an open field and was greeted by darkness and a cloudy sky once he reached the site. With the tip of his wand, he sparked a white light and guided it towards the centre of the circle. The ancient Stones, counting over twenty-three of them, looked eerie as their shadows danced in the light.

The cold wind beat around his face, and the frozen soil underneath his feet creeped through his boots, causing his toes to freeze. 'I'm here,' said Severus into the Deluminator. 'Is there anything I need to do?'

' _I don't think so_ ,' Remus replied. ' _Just shield your eyes, though. Expect a lot of light to be heading your way_.'

From the top of each stone, rays of yellow light formed and shot towards the centre of the circle. They collided until it formed a ball of light as bright as the sun. Severus peeked through the slits of his eyelids. The rays of light eventually burst out in a cloud of dust, and through the dust, Remus appeared.

'Incredible, isn't it!' said Remus as he walked his way up to Severus.

'Colour me impressed,' said Severus. 'How did you figure out how it worked?'

'It works a bit like time-travelling,' said Remus, 'only with space instead of time, if that makes any sense.'

'Not at all,' said Severus. 'Grab my shoulder. My toes are freezing off and I'd rather be back inside my house.'

Together, they Apparated their way back to the Kingfisher. 'I hope Lily doesn't mind me coming over,' said Remus as they made their way inside.

'She was asleep when –'

'—There you are!' Lily shrieked as she ran up to him, and wrapped her arms tightly around him. 'Sev, the Dark Mark is hovering over the Muggle part Ottery St. Catchpole. Someone got murdered right next to mum and dad's house. They're are here – they're fine. And –'

'—Remus, cast as many protective spells around the house as you can,' Severus ordered. 'Lily, I know you didn't want us to go into hiding, but we need a Secret Keeper, and we need one, _now_.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The ingredients mentioned for the Animagus potion are taken directly from the "Harry Potter: Hogwarts mystery" mobile game.


	239. The Standing Stones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Sorry for the late update. I had to deal with a record-breaking heatwave here in Holland (without air conditioning, I might add) and my laptop kept shutting down due to overheating. Thankfully my laptop is saved and I can go back to my writing spree.  
> A/N This chapter contains a minor wink to one of my favourite book/tv series; Outlander. The Standing Stone Circle Craigh na Dun, unfortunately, doesn't exist, but the film location, of course, does. (I suspect, though made out of Styrofoam, that the Stones were modelled after the Calanais Stones).

'Who do you suggest we'd pick, Sev?' asked Lily.

'Someone who can easily be kept under the radar,' said Severus. 'Emma's Muggle-born, so it's better not to pick her. Evan is a Rosier. Frank and Alice's families are too well connected to Dumbledore's Order. Remus is a known werewolf. Sirius is a Black.'

'What about Peter?' Lily suggested. 'No one really knows him for anything.'

Severus ran his hands through his hair and lowered his voice. 'Peter has betrayed you before – in another life, but still…'

'Do you still think he would, after everything he's done for you on that battlefield?' asked Lily. 'Peter's not as insecure as he once was.'

'Sorry to interrupt,' said Remus as he came back inside, 'but your home is practically invisible to the outside world by now. There's very little else I can do.'

'Thank you,' said Severus. 'That ought to hold them off, for now.'

'Remus, who do you suggest we should ask to be our Secret Keeper?' asked Lily.

Remus contemplated for a moment. 'I'd say Peter, but then again, he's not exactly here – is he?'

'What if I do it?' said Erwin suddenly. 'Do you think it's possible for me to be a Secret keeper, Severus?'

'I don't know if it's ever been attempted with a Muggle before,' said Severus, 'but perhaps it can be done.'

'I don't think there is much time for contemplating,' said Remus as he rushed them all into the living room. From the pocket of his coat he pulled out his Deluminator. ' _Young Order_. _Is there anyone there_?'

' _Shit's hitting the fan_ , _Remus_ ,' said Sirius on the other side. ' _We need to head north_ , _and we need to head there now_.'

'Is everyone else tuning in?' said Remus. 'I'm going to explain how the Standing Stones work, and I need everyone to listen carefully. I'm only going to explain this once.'

As Remus disappeared into the kitchen, Severus turned to his family. 'Erwin, we better make it quick. Give me your hand.'

'What will happen when it's finished?' asked Arnica while rocking Julia to prevent her from crying.

'The Fidelius Charm, as it's called,' Severus explained, 'is used to conceal a secret inside an individual's soul. If I give Erwin all the information of this home's whereabouts, it means he will be the only person in the world that knows how and where to find it. Only he can reveal the secret.'

'So, what you're saying, Severus,' Arnica summed up for herself, 'is that no one will be able to see this place unless Erwin's tells someone it's here.'

'They won't be able to see it, touch it, hear it, smell it – even think about it,' said Severus. 'This place will not exist unless Erwin reveals otherwise.'

Erwin, who still had his hand held up in front of him, snapped his fingers to grab Severus's attention. 'Just get it over with, Severus. Just guide me through what I need to do, and I'll do it.'

Severus nodded. 'This is going to take some time,' he said as he took Erwin's right hand in his and raised his wand. 'Repeat the words after me. After that, reveal to everyone in this room where we are – including Julia.'

'Got it,' said Erwin stiffly. 'Now, do it.'

Severus dug deep inside his mind to figure out how the Fedilius Charm was done. Although similar to the Unbreakable Vow, this, he had never done it before. It had been Dumbledore who had told him, in intricate detail, how it was meant to be done – even if it had been during a different life. As always, Dumbledore had been three steps ahead. Even then.

'It's a bit like taking an oath,' Severus started off with. 'I'm sure you're familiar with it since you've served in the military. Only the words are different this time. I need you to concentrate, close your eyes, and envision every detail I'm telling you.'

Erwin nodded and closed his eyes. 'Repeat after me,' said Severus. 'I, Erwin Evans, along with Arnica Evans, Lily Snape, Julia Snape and Severus Snape, live inside the walls of The Kingfisher brewery and home in the town of Ottery St. Catchpole.'

Erwin repeated the words after Severus. 'You'll feel a warm glow flowing through your hands,' Severus added. 'Whatever you do, do not let go. Even if it starts to burn. The next words are; I, Erwin Evans, have been appointed to keep the secrets of the whereabouts of The Kingfisher brewery hidden within my soul. Only I and I alone know of its location.'

The spell had to be working. The walls around him started to fade as if it were chalk being erased from a blackboard, and the wooden floor underneath his feet turned to snow covered soil. 'I promise I shall never share the secret of this home's location with anyone other than the people I previously mentioned. This place only exists for them to see when I tell them so.'

The magical rope that was binding their hands together started to glow like a hot copper spiral. 'I shall keep the location of The Kingfisher a secret till my dying breath.'

'…till my dying breath,' said Erwin, struggling with the pain that was burning into his hand.

With the tip of his wand, Severus tapped against the rope, which disappeared into thin air. 'Erwin, please tell me where we are. I don't recognise this place.'

Erwin smiled. 'That means it worked,' he said while nursing his hand. 'We're at the Kingfisher brewery. Your home in Ottery St. Catchpole.'

The walls that had been erased around him materialised back. 'Now we're absolutely certain that the Death Eaters can't find this place. Go tell the others. I need to prepare for the way up north.'

…

'Sev,' said Lily carefully as she joined him in the bedroom. Severus had gotten himself dressed in the most comfortable clothes he was able to find. Although the Fidelius Charm had worked, he still couldn't help but feel nervous at the prospect of leaving Lily and his daughter behind again.

'What it is, Lily?'

'I want to come with you.'

Severus stopped dead in his tracks. 'Lily, Lily – no. Even if I make it into Hogwarts, there's still a chance that I won't make it out alive. I can't risk Julia losing both her parents.'

'I understand where you're coming from,' said Lily, looking determined, 'but I signed up for this too, Sev.'

'Lily, please –'

'—this is my world as much as it is yours,' said Lily while raising her voice. 'I joined the Order for this exact reason. 'I didn't get to join you on that Battlefield – for obvious reasons, but I am joining you now.'

'Then what of Julia?' said Severus, raising his voice as well. 'What will happen when she ends up losing both of us?'

'Then Petunia will be the one to care for her.'

'LIKE HARRY!' Severus yelled. 'HE ENDED UP BEING ALONE AND I WON'T HAVE THAT HAPPENING TO JULIA!'

A fire flared up inside Lily. 'Do no raise your voice at me!' she sneered. 'I am coming with you, whether you like it or not, _Severus Snape_. This is my life – _my magical life_ – and I am going to fight for it!'

Severus drew a deep breath. 'I'm sorry,' he said as calmly as he could, 'I shouldn't have yelled.'

Lily cupped Severus's face in her hands. 'Sev,' she said, calm but firmly as she wiped a tear that had formed in the corner of his eye, 'I get where you're coming from – truly. During Harry's time, I fought as well. I know that because you told me so. Please, let me do what I was meant to do.'

Severus nodded. 'I understand, but that doesn't make it any easier. Get changed. I'll talk to Erwin and Arnica.'

Severus found Remus on the couch, cuddling with Julia. 'I'm glad Erwin told me where I am,' said Remus as he looked up. 'It's strange, when you suddenly no longer know or understand where you are.'

'Sorry about that,' said Severus stiffly.

'They're in the garden in case you were looking for them,' said Remus. 'I think Julia wants to cuddle with me just a little longer.'

He found them sitting by the river, chatting in low voices. 'Sorry to interrupt,' said Severus, 'but it's time to leave.'

'And Lily's coming with you,' said Arnica matter-of-factly.

'Unfortunately, yes,' said Severus.

'Just like her father,' said Erwin with a sigh. 'What is it you wish to tell us, Severus.'

'Nothing in particular,' said Severus. 'Just that it's time for us to leave.'

'I've known you long enough to know that your mind is in a dark place, Severus,' said Arnica. 'But this isn't goodbye just yet. I can feel it in my heart.'

…

Severus and Lily spend their last remaining minutes with Julia. Taking in her entire being before walking through the front door. It was Arnica who eventually pulled her away, making it clear that it was time for them to leave.

Remus was the one who pushed them out of the front door and closing it shut. 'Could you Apparate us to the Stones, Severus? We're already running late.'

'Alright,' said Severus, 'hold on to me.'

They Disapparated and materialised at the edge of the Gidleigh Stone Circle. The sun had already starting to set, causing the Stones to cast long shadows over the field.

'That way's north north-west,' said Remus as he pointed at a particular Stone, 'and that's the way we're heading.'

'To what Standing Stones are we heading exactly?' asked Lily.

'Craigh na Dun,' said Remus, 'or Creag na Dùin, in Gaelic. It's on the southern border of Cairngorms National Park. From there, we can practically walk our way towards Hogwarts castle.'

Shivering from the cold wind, Severus and Lily followed Remus towards the centre of the Standing Stones. 'Hold my hands,' he said. 'It's already twilight. It is within the last rays of the sun that we will travel there.'

For several minutes, they waited for the sun to go down, their hands firmly clasped into one another. With the touch of the last ray of the sun, an unfamiliar sensation could be felt. The air around them felt electric, but not in the way that a thunderstorm felt. The felt themselves growing lighter and lighter from the inside out, until the Standing Stones around them disappeared from sight, engulfing them in a warm blanket of light.

The light around them disappeared as they reappeared on top of a small hill in front of another, particularly large stone. 'Woah,' Lily muttered. 'That felt powerful – and very ancient.'

'Lumos!' said Severus as he held up his wand.

Severus more voices uttered "Lumos" into the air, revealing the faces of the remaining members of the Young Order. 'Looks like we all made it!' said Sirius happily. 'So, where do we go from here?'

'Just follow me,' said Remus. 'We're going to Hogsmeade to meet up with mister Aberforth at the Hog's Head. He's prepared rooms for us to stay in.'

Lily joined up with Alice and Emma, quickly falling into a conversation about Julia.

'How are you doing, Severus?' asked Frank as they started walking their way up north.

'Could've been better,' Severus answered. From his pocket he pulled out a polaroid of Julia and handed it to Frank. 'At least I know what I'm doing it all for.'


	240. Gilderoy's Mission

Getting into Hogsmeade had been the difficult part. Dementors could be seen in the distance in all direction, and undoubtedly there had to be supporters of the Dark Lord patrolling the streets nearby. However, casting an Invisibly Charm on everyone had worked, even though it made them appear more than chameleons than anything else, and were only truly invisible if they stood absolutely still.

Remus had been the first one to enter the Hog's Head Inn and revealed himself to mister Aberforth. One by one, they snuck into the inn and were ushered upstairs by Aberforth to one of the rooms he had reserved for them.

The room looked just as gloomy and dusty as everything else did downstairs. The pungent scent of mould growing in the corners of the walls filled their nostrils, causing some to crinkle their nose, but Aberforth seemed unphased by it. 'Did everyone make it?' asked Aberforth as he turned to Remus.

'Everyone's here,' said Remus.

'Good,' said Aberforth. 'I suggest everyone stays inside their room as much as possible, and keep the curtains closed at all times. Death Eaters were here, only hours ago, as well as a stray Dementor that madam Rosmerta has taken care of. The Dementor's loyalties are on the verge of tipping over. They're not being fed enough, and it shows.

'Aberforth, do you know what Umbridge's role is in all of this?' asked Severus.

'Students have told me she's barely seen walking around the castle,' Aberforth answered. 'No one really knows where she goes.'

'Let's check if she's at the castle right now,' said Peter while pulling out the Marauder's Map from his pocket. He sprawled out the map on the musty sheets of the bed and gathered everyone around.

'Here she is,' Evan pointed out after searching for a minute or two. 'She's in the Headmaster's Office, pacing around.'

'Pacing around in an odd pattern, too,' said Sirius. 'Dumbledore just walked around in circles.'

'I almost feel bad for her,' said Emma. ' _Almost_ , now that she no longer has the government backing her up. She may be a cruel woman, but dealing with the threats from the outside, all on your own – that's harsh. Do you think she would welcome us into the castle?'

'With Severus being on You-Know-Who's Most Wanted list, I highly doubt that,' said Sirius.

'Not to mention that she may very well be under the influence of the Imperius Curse,' Lily added. 'Mister Aberforth, how often do you find Gilderoy Lockhart here in your inn?'

'He'll meet us here tomorrow morning,' Aberforth replied, 'before they serve breakfast at Hogwarts – or what's left of it, at least.'

Alice shot Aberforth a questionable look. 'What do you mean by that, sir?'

'As I mentioned, the Dementors aren't being fed enough,' said Aberforth darkly. 'First, it was the centaurs and other larger creatures that the Forbidden Forest provided. Now, it's the House-Elves that are tossed in their direction.'

'That's horrible,' said Alice, looking disgusted by the idea that House-Elves were being sacrificed.

'Still, it's better than feeding them students,' said Aberforth with a shrug. 'For now, I recommend everyone gets a good night's sleep, and I'll see you again in the morning.'

Aberforth left the room, leaving the Young Order alone to prepare for bed. 'I suppose we should go to bed,' said Frank. 'there's little else we can do until tomorrow. Alice, I suggest we take the room next door.'

One by one, the Young Order went off to their designated rooms until Severus and Lily were the last ones remaining. 'I'm going to use some charms to clean up these sheets,' said Lily as she nearly gagged from the scent after sniffing the covers.

As Lily went to work, Severus wiped away the dust from the drawer and placed all the things he brought along nearly on top of it. The Invisibility Cloak and the Elder Wand being the most important among them. Aside from finding a way inside the castle, he also needed to find a way to Dumbledore and Grindelwald's graves, knowing that the Sword of Gryffindor – and perhaps also the last remaining Deathly Hallow – were there.

…

It was well before dawn when the Young Order gathered at the bar downstairs. Aberforth had kept his inn closed to prevent any customers from coming in. He handed everyone a butterbeer with a rusty cap.

'Mister Lockhart should be here any moment,' said Aberforth.

Severus took a sip from his butterbeer and looked through the wobbly stained glass. The streets of Hogsmeade were covered in a thick layer of snow, and he wondered how Gilderoy was supposed to leave the castle without being caught making his way here.

'Mister Aberforth,' said Lily, 'who's the girl in the painting? See seems a little sombre.'

'That's Ariana,' said Aberforth with a faint smile. 'She's my sister, and Albus's sister, of course.'

'The one who died during Dumbledore and Grindelwald's duel,' said Severus, a little tactlessly. 'Your brother has told a few things about her.'

'She had always been unstable,' said Aberforth. 'She met her fatal end as she got caught in their duel, but if that hadn't done it, something else could've done it as well.'

'What was wrong with her?' asked Lily as she walked up to the portrait. She was greeted by a similar faint smile like Aberforth's.

'Her magic collapsed inwards,' Aberforth explained, 'much like an imploding star. Sometimes her magic would come out in ways that she could not control, rendering her strange and dangerous. But most of the time she was sweet and harmless, and frightened of many things. Just a fragile little thing.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Lily as she studied Ariana a bit more.

Aberforth waved it off. 'Don't be. It was a long time ago. There is a lot more to the story, but I think I can hear mister Lockhart approaching us.'

From behind Ariana's portrait, Lily could hear the faint sound of footsteps echoing through a tunnel. The footsteps came closer and closer, until they suddenly came to a halt and a knocking could be heard on the other side. Ariana stepped out of her frame to make room for Gilderoy to climb through.

'Hello everyone,' said Gilderoy as he patted the dust and cobwebs from his robes. 'It's good to see you all again. Especially you two, Severus and Lily.'

For a split second, Severus was drawn back to the time when he, briefly, had been the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Harry and his friends had somehow managed to infiltrate the castle, despite it being heavily guarded by Death Eaters. Now, seeing how Gilderoy had stepped through Ariana's portrait, an involuntary smile appeared on his lips, finally understanding how Harry had done it.

'It's good to see you too, Roy,' said Severus. 'What part of the castle did you come from?'

'The Room of Come and Go,' said Roy. 'I told you in my letter that I've been using the Room for meetings with anyone resisting the new government. This is how we go in and out all the time.'

'And how you've managed to smuggle letters back and forth,' said Lily. 'This is brilliant, Roy.'

'Thanks,' said Gilderoy, growing red in the cheeks. 'I learned from the best.'

'Roy,' said Severus with a serious undertone, 'is there anything we need to know about before we enter the castle?'

'A lot of things, actually,' said Roy. 'The most important one is that Avery and his gang of Slytherins have made it abundantly clear that they are supporters of You-Know-Who. They've been throwing hexes at anyone trying to oppose them. Avery is looking for you, Severus. He believes it's your fault that his friend Mulciber died, and I think he's capable of killing you when he sees you.'

'I have no doubt about that,' said Severus. 'Let that be no concern of yours. What about the Headmistress. Any concerns regarding her?'

'She's hardly ever seen around the castle,' said Gilderoy. 'She's isn't particularly fond of creatures, so she's using them to fend off the Dementors. I fear there won't be any House-Elves left soon. I think you were right though. She's probably held under some sort of curse. She doesn't look anything like she did when first came to Hogwarts. She's grown very thin.'

'Are there people waiting for you on the other side, Roy?' asked Lily while peeking through the curtain of the Inn's window.

'Yes, there are,' said Gilderoy. 'Most of them are –'

'—I just saw the same people passing this street twice,' Lily interrupted. 'We better hurry before they walk in here.'

'Go grab your belongings,' said Aberforth as he nudged them all away from his barstools, 'and bring your butterbeers with you. Don't leave any traces.'

Within a matter of minutes, everyone had been ushered into the tunnel behind Ariana's portrait. It felt like it had taken over an hour before they finally reached the other end.

'It's been less than a year,' said Frank as he looked around the Room of Requirement, 'and yet, it feels like it's been an eternity.'

There were over a dozen students, all four houses presented, in the Room, practicing spells on each other in the same way the Young Order had done.

'They're all children, Sev,' Lily whispered into his ear.

'As if we aren't, Lily,' Severus whispered back. 'You claimed this world as your own, and it is theirs too. This is a choice parents don't get to make for their children.'

'I know this is not the time to let my heart get in the way,' said Lily, 'but still, this is hard to see.'

'We've made it this far,' said Frank from behind. 'Now, what's the plan?'

'Frank, I suggest you figure out what everyone in here as learned so far,' said Severus. 'If you find out anything that they haven't been taught in order to protect themselves, now would be the time to do teach them. I brought James's Invisibility Cloak with me. I want to head out and see if I can find Avery – or Umbridge.'

'Severus, can I talk to you for a minute,' said Gilderoy, 'in private, please.'

Gilderoy ushered Severus to a quiet corner of the Room. 'I was meant to give you this, if you were to return to the castle,' said Gilderoy. From his pocket, he pulled out a sealed letter, baring the Hogwarts's crest, and Severus's name, written in an unmistakable loopy handwriting. 'I needed to add that this is meant for you, and you alone. Not even Lily.'

'Thank you, Roy,' said Severus. 'I think Frank is ready to teach you a thing or two. I'll read what Dumbledore has to say.'

Severus watched as Gilderoy joined the group that Frank had formed and broke the seal of the letter.

' _Dear Severus,_

_If you read this, consider this letter to be our final goodbye.  
Come visit my grave, alone, and you will find what you are looking for. _

_I'm sorry, Severus, knowing the heavy burden of the cross you must bear.  
Also, I must thank you, for teaching me not to fear Death when it comes knocking on my door. _

_Forever in your debt,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Severus closed the letter and neatly tucked it into his pocket. He was about to toss on his Invisibility Cloak when Frank pulled him back. 'Sorry, Severus,' said Frank. 'I know you want to find Avery, but I'm really going to need your help with this group first. They're hardly prepared for what is about to come.'

Frank was right. As badly as Severus wanted to head out to visit Dumbledore's grave, knowing that Gryffindor's Sword was there, it wouldn't be a smart move to roam the castle alone, even with the protection that the Invisibility Cloak offered. He would have to wait until nightfall. 'You take the lead, Frank. I'll follow your orders.'


	241. The Stone in the Sword I

Severus waited around until the school was called to dinner in the Great Hall. The entire day, the Young Order spend their time inside the Room of Requirement, teaching whatever Gilderoy's recruits still needed to be taught. They merely scraped the surface by the time the students had left, leaving them with the feeling that, once the Death Eaters were to arrive, the odds would be very much against them.

'I need to head out, Lily,' said Severus. 'I need to go visit Dumbledore's grave.'

Lily cupped his face with her hands and kissed him. 'Be careful out there,' she said. 'Make sure you have the Deluminator with you.'

'I will,' said Severus. He tossed on the Invisibility Cloak and peeked through the crack of the door to see if anyone was wondering around the hallway. Once he was certain that the hallway was abandoned, he slipped out of the Room.

Years of gliding soundlessly through the long corridors of Hogwarts was paying off. Even Peeves, whom he encountered somewhere along the grand staircase, didn't notice him slipping right passed.

The doors that led to the Great Hall were open. Severus could see all the students sitting at the table of their own house, as if interaction between the four houses was no longer permitted. At the Slytherin table he found Avery, chatting away without a care in a world. Temping it as it was to attack him from behind, he knew it would only cause more trouble than he bargained for. At the teacher's platform he could also see some of his old colleagues, including McGonagall and Slughorn, talking in whispers.

Dolores Umbridge wasn't among them, as was to be expected. Severus turned his gaze away from the Great Hall and soundlessly pushed his way through the grand oaken doors to the grounds.

The chatter from the Great Hall was silenced once Severus closed the doors behind him. The snow-covered grounds dampened any noise in his direct surroundings. Considering the circumstances, it felt peaceful. A soft breeze was blowing fresh snowflakes off course, adding to the already large amounts of snow.

A twinkle of light could be seen on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Severus knew it had to be Dumbledore's tombstone along with Grindelwald's unmarked grave beside him. He slowly walked his way over there, careful not to leave any footprints behind.

The white marble of the tombstone shimmered in the setting sun. Grindelwald's grave, though unmarked with his name, stood in stark contrast to Dumbledore's. It was as black as charcoal and blended in well with the shadows cast by the trees of the forest.

Right above their graves was a large rock towering over the tombs. Right on top of the rock was Gryffindor's Sword, its blade stuck hallway through the rock. Severus felt the corners of his lips curl into a smile.

Certain he was all alone, Severus tossed off the Invisibility Cloak and pulled Dumbledore's Elder Wand out of his pocket. He took a good look at the Sword, towering over him. The damage on the Sword's hilt indicated that there had been struggling attempts at pulling the Sword out of the rock – and to no avail.

With his fingers he traced the rubies on the hilt until he came to a sudden halt at the gem in the middle. The brilliant ruby that had once been the Sword's centrepiece was now replaced by a black stone. The one that bore Grindelwald's mark. 'Hidden in plain sight,' Severus mumbled to himself. 'Brilliant as always, Dumbledore.'

With his nails, Severus carefully dug out the stone from the Sword until it broke loose. With the Stone tightly secured between his fingers, he placed it, along with the Invisibility Cloak and the Elder Wand, on top of Grindelwald's grave.

'A master of Death once more,' said Severus to where he assumed Grindelwald's head had to be. 'So... now what, Gellert? Is something supposed to happen now that all three of the Hallows are together? Or is it really nothing more than a magical tale from a book?'

For a brief moment, nothing happened. Severus let out a sigh, wondering what to do next, when suddenly he noticed faint cracks appearing on Grindelwald's tomb. With his eyes he traced the cracks, which were spreading out into the shape of a triangle, until it completely formed itself into the shape of the symbol of the Deathly Hallows.

Severus looked around frantically, as if he somehow expected a voice to start echoing through the air.

' _And who might you be, young man_?'

A shiver ran down Severus's spine. He hadn't seen anyone standing near, and yet there was indeed a voice, so close that he could feel it whispering into his ear.

'Who is speaking?' said Severus, still looking around. The white figure blended in so well with the snow on the grounds that Severus was barely able to see him. 'Who are you?' he said, squinting his eyes.

' _I am the one you summoned_ ,' said the ghost in a mysterious tone.

'Though unintentional, it appears to be so,' said Severus. The ghost didn't strike him as any regular ghost that roamed the castle. 'Who might you be?'

The ghost frowned. ' _I asked you_ –'

' _His name is Antioch_ ,' said another voice suddenly from behind. ' _My name's Cadmus, and that's Ignotus. We're brothers_.'

There were now three ghosts circling around Severus. 'The Peverell brothers, I assume,' he said, looking at all three. 'My name is Severus.'

' _And what is it that you seek from us, Severus_ ,' asked Antioch strictly.

Ignotus waved it off. ' _Oh, let the boy get to know us first_ ,' he said. ' _It's been a long time since we've met with another wizard. It's been over a decade – though really it's been a lot longer, since the last time we were summoned, it turned out to be a Muggle_. _Or a Squib. We're still not entirely certain about it_.'

'A Muggle?' asked Severus, curious.

' _His name was Charles_ ,' said Cadmus. ' _Charles Dickens. It was a Christmas eve when he met us. Called us the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future_.'

' _Even wrote a book about us_ ,' said Ignotus with a hint of pride. ' _Just like Beedle did, only Beedle knew what we really were, of course_.'

'Have you ever met Albus?' asked Severus.

' _Only Gellert_ ,' said Antioch with a huff. ' _We were waiting for Albus on the other side of the veil when he had all three of our Hallows together. He decided to keep them separate, though_.'

'The veil?'

' _The veil that separates the world of the dead with that of the world of the living_ ,' said Antioch matter-of-factly.

' _Or a bridge, if you will_ ,' added Cadmus.

'The bridge Beedle wrote about?' asked Severus.

' _The very same_ ,' Cadmus confirmed with a nod. ' _What might your family name be, young Severus_?'

Severus noticed that Cadmus had taken a particular interest in him. 'Snape,' said Severus reluctantly. 'What is it to you?'

' _Ignotus' predecessors have many names_ ,' Cadmus explained. ' _Some are Gaunts. Others are called Potter. The same applies for Antioch. Some Malfoys. Longbottoms…Bones…but I don't recall anyone in the family named Snape.'_

' _My father was a Muggle_ ,' Severus explained. ' _My mother's name was Prince_.'

' _Then you are one of mine indeed_ ,' said Cadmus. ' _Just as I suspected_. _See, we got the same nose_.'

Severus had noticed it. 'Then it may please you to know that my daughter has not lived the misfortune to inherit it.'

Cadmus let out a chuckle. ' _It certainly pleases me to know. Say, Severus, did you know that we were waiting for you once before – on the other side, that is_.'

Severus shook his head. 'I died before – a lifetime ago, but I never met any of you.'

' _You never crossed the bridge entirely, did you_?' asked Antioch.

'I chose to go back,' said Severus, certain of his own words.

'And what made you decide to chose to life, over that of one of eternal peace?' asked Cadmus.

Severus felt the corners of his lips curl into a smile. 'The same as you, Cadmus. For love. And just like your love, she had already moved on to the other side.' All three of the ghosts moved closer to him, curious about what he had to say next. 'But unlike you, I knew I wouldn't get to be on the other side with her, either. So, I made a choice. A choice to end my life in the afterlife, by drowning myself in the river underneath the bridge – so that I could start all over.'

' _A wiser man than I'll ever be_ ,' said Cadmus proudly.

' _But that still doesn't explain what it is you seek from us_ ,' said Antioch.

' _Oh, give the young man some time to tell his story_ ,' said Ignotus. ' _Everyone knows ours, but we hardly know anyone else's. And people do come with many a great story_.'

'It's alright, Ignotus,' said Severus. 'There isn't anything that I seek from any of you, except, perhaps, an answer to what would have happened – had I crossed the bridge.'

' _We cannot tell you what lies beyond_ ,' said Ignotus, ' _for it differs for everyone who has crossed the bridge. But what I can tell you, is that the bridge only knows one direction – forward_.'

' _Except when one possesses all three of the Deathly Hallows_ ,' Cadmus added. ' _It is the reason why they call anyone who finds it, Master of Death_. _It allows you not only to move forward, but also back. That way, one can live forever, in the realm of the living – and the dead.'_

' _They're right there with you, Severus,'_ said Antioch. ' _Right there for the taking_.'

Severus noticed a slight shift in the brothers' voices. He looked behind him at the Deathly Hallows, still resting on Grindelwald's grave. 'I understand your longing for power, Antioch – and your desire to be invisible from the unknown, Ignotus. And your reason to have your loved ones returned to you, perhaps most of all, Cadmus – but I regret to inform you all that I have no interest in becoming a messenger to and from the afterlife.'

' _Release us, please,_ ' said Ignotus. There was a faint quiver in his voice, and Severus took notice.

' _Then burn the bridge, if you will_ ,' said Cadmus.

' _Let us go_ ,' said Antioch, sounding somewhat hesitant.

'I'm sorry,' said Severus, 'but this needs to end once and for all.'

Swiftly, Severus grabbed the Elder Wand from the grave and held it up for the three ghosts to see. Without warning, he pulled hard on each end of the Wand until the Wand snapped in half. A faint wisp of smoke rose up from the wand. The Thestral hair core crumbled into ash. The ghost of Antioch evaporated like water droplets into the sky, forming a blanket of mist on top of the snow.

Severus tossed the broken wand aside and picked up the Invisibility Cloak. ' _Do it swiftly, Severus_ ,' said Ignotus. ' _Please – I do wish to be released from this curse_.'

With his own wand, Severus set fire to a corner of the Cloak. He thought of James as he watched the fabric turn to smoke until it was completely gone, as was the ghost of Ignotus.

' _A stone is hard to break_ ,' said Cadmus after Severus had picked it up. ' _How do you plan on breaking it for me_?'

Severus looked down at the Stone resting in the palm of his hand. 'There's one last thing that I must do, Cadmus, before I find a way to destroy it.'

Cadmus nodded in understanding. ' _Just promise me, that you will find a way to break this curse of eternal life for me too_.'

'I promise,' said Severus.


	242. The Sword in the Stone II

The ghost of Cadmus rendered himself invisible as Severus looked at the Stone. The Stone started to shake and float an inch above the palm of his hand, as if it were somehow calling to the people Severus held in his mind.

One by one, as though rising from the dust, silhouettes of the people he had loved and lost appeared before him.

'Mum,' Severus signed with his hands.

Eileen looked better than she had ever done before. The harsh lines in her face had softened. She looked happy. 'Severus,' she signed back. 'I am so, so proud of you.'

'Mum, I'm sorry, I –'

Eileen stopped him by placing a finger to her lips. 'There is nothing to be sorry for,' she signed. She formed a cradle with her arms and rocked it. 'She's beautiful, Severus. You make a wonderful father.'

Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes. 'Thank you,' Severus mumbled under his breath.

'Oi, Snape,' another voice said on the other side.

Severus turned around. 'James,' he said. 'James, I never meant for you to die for me on that battlefield.'

'There is no need for you to worry about me, Severus,' James answered with a smile. 'I got exactly what I always wanted, right here by my side.' The ghost of James tossed an arm around the man standing beside him, and pat the man's chest with pride.

The man looked Severus straight in the eye. 'Hello, professor,' said Harry.

Severus was smiling through his tears. 'Harry, you're a grown man.'

'I think that's the second time you've ever called me Harry,' said Harry, smiling back. 'And you look about my age since the last time we saw each other. Funny how that works.'

'Harry, did you die, in the end?' Severus asked carefully.

'Well, I did,' Harry explained, 'and then, I also didn't. I made a choice to come back, just like you did. Only difference is that I came back at the exact same time that I died. Continuing where I left off – if that makes any sense.'

'It does, and I am sorry,' said Severus, 'deeply, for everything.'

Harry shook his head. 'Don't be, professor. I survived. The Horcruxes were destroyed, along with the one that was inside of me. The war ended. None of these things would've happened, had it not been for your memories.'

'And after?'

'I married Ginny Weasley,' said Harry proudly. 'Became an Auror. I got three children with her. The youngest one I named after you – and Dumbledore. His name is Albus Severus. He also happens to be the only Slytherin in the family.'

'Honestly?' said Severus, finding it hard to believe.

Harry raised up his hand for Severus to see. _'I must not tell lies_ , professor.'

Severus looked down at this own hand, baring the same scars. Tears had started dripping down from the tip of his nose. 'Your mother and I have a daughter now,' said Severus. 'Her name is Julia.'

'I know,' said Harry with a nod of approval. 'Professor, I _love_ the fact that I have a sister. I believe you'll do well by her. Both her and my mother.'

'Thank you,' said Severus, his voice cracking. 'Harry, I need your help.'

'The Horcrux you are looking for is hidden in the place where everything is hidden,' said Harry. 'You know the place I speak of.'

'The Room of Requirement,' Severus confirmed with a nod. 'And then what? How do I defeat him? He's stronger than I'll ever be.'

From the inside of his pocket, Harry pulled out his wand. 'Eleven inches, made of Holly. I've been told by a friend that Holly is traditionally considered to be a protective type of wood. It helps those who are in need of help overcoming tendencies of anger and impetuosity. It also chooses owners who are engaged in some kind of dangerous and spiritual quest. Sound familiar?'

'It sounds like you wouldn't have made it far without miss Granger's help,' said Severus.

Harry laughed. 'I wouldn't have made it through, nor survived, my first year at Hogwarts without her help. My wand was given to you instead, though, this time around. Not just because of its nature, but also because of its core.'

'The phoenix feather,' said Severus. 'Fawkes' feather.'

'Indeed,' Harry confirmed. 'Voldemort's wand contains a feather from Fawkes as well. _Priori Incantatem_ , Dumbledore called it. It's what happens when two wands with the same core duel each other; an echo is created, causing spells to perform in reverse order.'

'What spell was it that ended it all?'

A twinkle appeared in Harry's eyes. 'You already know, professor. You taught it to me, in my second year.'

Severus nodded in understanding.

'How are you feeling, professor?' asked Harry, sounding quite serious.

'Alone, and afraid,' said Severus. 'I wish I could've had you by my side to fight this battle with me.'

Harry shook his head. 'I never left your side.' Before Severus was able to question him, Harry continued, 'the sun is almost down. It's time for you to prepare for battle.'

The last rays of the sun had turned the snow-covered grounds to gold. 'You got this, friend,' said James.

'We'll be here,' signed Eileen. 'Now, go – and live.'

The Stone dropped back into his hand, its surface cold to the touch. The ghost of James and Eileen faded away, leaving only Harry, looking at him through Lily's eyes. 'I've been here all along, professor.'

As Harry faded away, the white stag materialised in front of him. Severus stretched out his hand, holding up the Stone for the stag to see. 'I should've known since the day I met you on top of that Tor in Dartmoor,' he said to the stag. 'Thank you.'

The stag took the Stone from Severus's hand into his mouth, and swallowed it whole. With one last glance at Severus, he turned to the forest, and disappeared into the fading light.

…

Darkness had fallen. It had stopped snowing, and the light of the stars reflected on the grounds, causing the grounds to be clouded in an eerie hue.

Severus took one last glance at Dumbledore grave, and then looked up at the sword. It had been the great wizard Merlin who had given the sword its magical properties after receiving it from the Lady of the Lake. At first, the sword had been meant for Arthur Pendragon to reveal that he was the true heir to the English throne. Many years later, Arthur, with his sword he named Excalibur, founded the Knights of the Round Table, under the Order of Merlin.

For many centuries, Excalibur was passed on from one knight to the other. It received many different names over the years, and so, it was also passed on to a brave and honourable man named Godric. The sword then, at least to the Wizarding World, became known as the Sword of Godric Gryffindor.

Severus climbed his way to the top of the rock and folded his hands around the sword's hilt. The sound of metal grinding against stone could be heard as he started pulling, and pulled all the way until the tip of the sword wedged itself loose from the rock. He held the sword into both hands, the inscription in the fuller of the sword visible to the eye.

" _Whoso pulleth out this sword of stone and anvil, is rightwise born king_ " Severus read to himself. ' _I may not be an actual king, but for what it's worth, I am a Prince in the Order of Merlin_.'

Severus looked at the Forbidden Forest where the white stag, along with the ghost of the last of the Three Brothers, had disappeared. He had finally found the closure he had been searching for for so long, and for the brief moment that he knew it was going to last, he felt at peace.

'Sev.'

Severus quickly turned around at the sound of Lily's voice. 'Lily, why are you out here? You're not going to believe what just happened! And look, it appears being knighted into the Order of Merlin was worth a little more than just—'

'Sev,' I know what happened,' said Lily as she held up her Deluminator, 'and…look…' she said while pointing at the castle.

The Dark Mark, larger than he had ever seen before, was floating above the castle. It was then he noticed the look of pure fear etched into Lily's eyes.

The final battle had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N We know the story of Arthur and how he pulled the sword out of the stone, but another version of the story is when the Lady of the Lake handed the sword over to Merlin (or Arthur, depending on which legend). It's the reason why Rowling decided to have Snape put the sword in the lake in the forest for Harry to find in the original story. There are deep (biblical) reason behind this that I won't spell out here to prevent my AN from becoming longer than this story's chapter. I do recommend doing some google searches on it though. There are many interesting connections to be made through these old legends in connection to the HP series.


	243. The Beginning I

'They, those Death Eaters, came through some cabinet we hadn't seen in the Room of Requirement,' said Lily hastily, her voice laced with fear and hatred. 'We managed to make it out on time, but the castle is in turmoil, Sev. We need to go – and we need to go now!'

Together, they rushed their way back to the castle. 'Lily, I need you to tell me where Roy is,' said Severus between heavy breaths. 'I know where the Horcrux is, and I need him to help me find it.'

'Last thing I know he was still in the Great Hall,' said Lily as they reached the oaken doors, 'along with all the other students and teachers.'

Severus held Lily back before she swung open the doors. 'Wand up, shield up, and if you see the Dark Lord, contact me through your Deluminator right away. I doubt he's inside the castle now. He always lets others do the dirty work. Whatever the last Horcrux may be, I know that it's hidden somewhere in the Room of Requirement and I'm going to need Roy's Ravenclaw expertise on it. Lily – please, be careful.'

Lily swiftly wrapped her arms around Severus's waist and kissed him passionately. 'This is not the end, Sev. Go.'

Whatever peace the world outside still had to offer, once inside, chaos reigned. It appeared as if a bomb had gone off inside the Great Hall. Dust and debris filled the air. Students were screaming left and right, and curses flew around missing them by mere inches.

With his wand stretched out and his shield raised, Severus pushed his way into the Great Hall. He saw that Lily had started ushering students outside, and struggled, not knowing how to take control of the situation.

The day the battle of Hogwarts began during his first life, everything appeared to have been much more organised. Severus knew Harry and his friends had entered the castle somehow, and had requested all of the students to stand in formation inside the Great Hall. Some students had been missing among them then, who had, as he knows now, been hiding inside the Room of Requirement, ready to strike.

But there were different students now, and many of them weren't half as well prepared as Harry's friends has been. At the far end of the Great Hall he saw Professor McGonagall desperately trying to protect students from a Death Eater that was unbeknownst to him. He searched around frantically for a head full of golden curls amongst a sea of chaos, until he finally caught sight of Avery on the floor with his hands wrapped around Gilderoy's throat.

'Depulso!' Severus cried out. The charm punched Avery in his ribs and blasted him several feet away. He picked Gilderoy up by his shoulders, who was still gasping for breath. 'Follow me Roy!'

'Where are we heading, Severus?' asked Gilderoy as he ran after him out of the Great Hall. 'You got the sword out—'

'Stop asking questions and run!' Severus ordered.

It took forever to reach the seventh floor. Several of the staircases had been destroyed, causing them having to jump back and forth and take detours through several hidden passages.

The seventh floor was eerily quiet compared to the chaos down below. 'Care to tell me what we're doing here, Severus?' asked Gilderoy, still panting heavily.

'We need to find that diadem that belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw,' said Severus while walking his way up to the Room of Requirement. They passed the Headmaster's Office and he wandered if Umbridge was still there, hiding – or worse, under the influence of a curse.

Severus paced around three times in front of the entrance, mumbling to himself to open the door. 'Keep your wand ready, Roy,' he said as the door materialized. 'I doubt all the Death Eaters have left.'

Soundlessly they pushed their way through the door and shut it, causing it to blend back in with the wall. 'That's a lot of stuff,' Gilderoy whispered as he looked around the enormous room. 'Accio Ravenclaw's diadem – oh what, it was worth a try,' he said as he took note of Severus's sideway glance.

'Roy, could you name the traits that define a Ravenclaw for me?' asked Severus.

'Cleverness, wisdom and wit,' said Gilderoy. 'Highly competitive, too.'

For a split second, Severus was brought back to the year that Gilderoy had been the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher during Harry's second year. The year in which Harry had discovered he was a Parseltongue – and therefore a Horcrux. 'Roy, how would you recommend taking out your competition?'

'By outsmarting them, I suppose,' said Roy as the started walking through the narrow pathways, looking around.

An involuntary grin appeared on Severus's face, remembering how Gilderoy had managed to outsmart the entire wizarding world by stealing other wizards' stories of success. 'The diadem contains a piece of the Dark Lord's soul,' he explained. 'That's why we need to find it, and fast!'

'A piece of his s—'

'—don't bother,' Severus interrupted quickly.

They turned several more corners until they stumbled upon a four-poster bed. With a pang, he remembered Lily going down on both knees for him as he leaned against that bed, so many moons ago, and hoped that nothing had happened to her with all those Death Eaters on the loose.

He also remembered that the Mirror of Erised had to be around here somewhere, but strayed away from temptation. 'Roy, have you found anything yet? Roy –'

'Is it _this_ you're looking for?' said a girly voice from behind.

Within a flash, Severus turned around and held his wand up high. Bellatrix held Gilderoy in a full body-bind curse, unable to move anything apart from his eyes, which were filled with tears.

'This little Ravenclaw found it first,' Bellatrix giggled, and twirled the diadem around between her fingers as if it were a toy. 'Poor little thing was almost ready to try it on when I found him.'

'Let him go,' said Severus darkly.

Bellatrix started to cackle. 'That's not how it works, minster Snape. I'll exchange him – for the sword.'

'Not possible,' said Severus.

Bellatrix lowered her wand and held it against Gilderoy's chest. 'tell me, mister Snape – how exactly did you pull that sword out of the stone?'

'I'd rather not waste my time telling stories,' Severus sneered. He knew he had given the wrong answer as soon as the words came out. Gilderoy, although unable to scream, shook around like a ragdoll when struck by the Cruciatus Curse.

'Stop it!' said Severus. 'Just stop this madness!'

A sly grin formed on Bellatrix's face as she pulled her wand away from Gilderoy's chest. 'Care for the boy, don't you Snape?'

'There has been a time where I wouldn't have,' said Severus. 'Tell me, where is your master hiding?'

'The sword, _boy_!' Bellatrix snapped sharply. 'I haven't got all day!'

Wordlessly, Severus shot a jinx at her, missing her by a mere inch as she cocked her head nonchalantly aside. 'Hmm, I expected better from you,' said Bellatrix, sounding bored. 'Now what?'

Severus knew he needed to stall in order for Gilderoy to be released from the jinx that was cast on him, so he started telling Bellatrix the story on how he managed to get his hands on the sword. Though Bellatrix was trying hard to look uninterested, Severus could see a glimpse in her eyes that hadn't been there before. A glimpse of intrigue, and he used to his advantage.

As Bellatrix listened, Severus could see from the corners of his eyes that Gilderoy's limbs were moving again. He could only hope that Gilderoy would be smart enough to reach for the tiara while Severus attacked her simultaneously.

Severus watched as Gilderoy stretched out his arm, shaking badly from the aftermath of the Cruciatus curse. As soon as Bellatrix's eyes shifted from him to Gilderoy, ready to strike, when suddenly he felt as harsh blow hitting him between his shoulders, knocking him over. He could hear Bellatrix cackling with laughter as the sword, and his wand, slipped out of his hands. Ropes were wriggling around him and bound him until it got hard to breathe.

'Well done, Cissy,' said Bellatrix. She held up the tiara too high for Gilderoy to reach and shot the same rope-binding curse on him.

'Shame you let yourself be fooled by such a simple trick, mister Snape,' said Narcissa as she hovered over Severus. 'As my dear sister said – I expected better from you.'

Cursing himself over such a foolish mistake, he glared at Narcissa in a Lily-like fashion. 'Suppose you'll take us to see the man in charge then?' he snapped angrily. 'I expected better from you too, _Cissy_.'

Somewhere in the depths of Narcissa's pale blue eyes, Severus could see a hint of doubt. The same hint he had seen in her eyes many times before during their meetings with the Dark Lord in his first life. The reason she never took the Mark.

'The Dark Lord will be pleased, Cissy,' said Bellatrix as she rolled up her sleeve. With the tip of her wand she touched the faint red mark on her arm, which started to glow hot within seconds. 'Now he knows we're coming.'

In a feeble attempt to connect with Narcissa, Severus attempted to use Legimilency on her, but the attempt was in vain. Her Occlumency shield was raised up high and too strongly to be penetrated. He watched her pick up the Sword of Gryffindor, along with his wand, off the floor and cast a levitation charm on him.

' _Roy_ ,' Severus thought as they were levitated out of the Room of Requirement. ' _Don't speak. Just think about the words you wish to respond with.'_

' _What's happening Severus?'_ Gilderoy's voice sounded shaky, even in his mind.

' _We're being taken to see the Dark Lord,'_ Severus responded as calmly as he could. _'From this point on, I need you to do as I say. Exactly when I say it.'_

' _How can you be so certain, knowing what to do?'_ asked Gilderoy.

' _I can't be,'_ Severus responded. _'But it's all I can do.'_

He could hear the doors of the Room of Requirement close behind them and disappear back into the wall as he floated in front of Narcissa, still unable to move.

'There you are Avery!' Bellatrix squealed. 'Took you long enough.'

'Sorry about that, madam Lestrange,' Avery responded politely. 'I brought Umbridge with me.'

Umbridge. Severus tried to crane his neck as far as his body physically allowed him to in a desperate attempt to meet her eyes. He knew she had to be under the influence of the Imperius curse and hoped that he could enter her mind to make her snap out of it.

'I think it's time to set the Dementors on the castle, don't you think?' Avery added. 'People are fighting down there, but –'

'But what?' snapped Bellatrix. 'Are we losing?'

'We will if we don't act now,' said Avery. 'Umbridge here is the only person the Dementors will answer to. We'll need her.'

'Dispose of her when you're done,' Bellatrix spat. 'Otherwise she'll run to the Ministry first thing. Cissy, we need to leave. The Dark Lord doesn't like to be kept waiting.'

'Yes, we'll go,' said Narcissa coldly.

Avery jabbed Severus with his wand as he passed him, followed closely by Umbridge, who looked as if she had already encountered far too many Dementors for one lifetime. 'They're on a witch-hunt for that little Mudblood wife of yours,' said Avery mockingly. 'Better prepare yourself for that windowed life, Snape.'

They had turned the corner before Severus was able to connect with her. Cursing Avery under his breath, he decided to give in to the situation and looked back up to the ceiling. 'Where exactly are you taking us?' he asked.

'To the Dark Lord,' said Narcissa, 'but you knew that already.'

'Yes, _but where_?' said Severus. 'Surely you're dragging us off to our inevitable death. Can a man at least take comfort in knowing what his final resting place will be?'

A sly smile formed on Narcissa's face. 'Nice try, mister Snape. But as a fellow Slytherin, I know how to recognise a silver tongue when I hear one.'

'How are you going to take us down?' asked Gilderoy. 'The whole castle is in turmoil down there.'

'Cissy's rather an expert on Disillusionment charms,' said Bellatrix. 'We'll sneak past.'

Narcissa did indeed render them all invisible once they hit the Grand Staircase. People could be heard duelling a few floors down and spells were bouncing off the walls, causing large chunks of rock from the staircases to crumble.

The cold winter air hit them in the face as they made it outside through the main entrance. The stars were no longer visible in the night sky. Instead, a thick mist moved through the air like black brushstrokes on a dark canvas, making its way towards the castle. The Dementors had been summoned. Umbridge most likely had been left to die.

Grateful that the Young Order knew how to defend themselves against Dementors, Severus continued to look up until they had reached the edge of the castle's grounds, when he suddenly noticed a tiny ball of light heading his way. Upon closer inspection he noticed that the Patronus had the shape of a goldfish, and was swimming silently through the air until it stopped amongst the branches of a tree. The Whomping Willow tree.

As Severus felt himself being lowered to the ground, the goldfish vanished behind the branches, followed by the unmistakable squeak of a rat.


	244. The Middle II

" _O for a voice like thunder, and a tongue  
to drown the throat of war!"_

_William Blake (Prologue to King Edward the Fourth)_

* * *

' _This is an underground tunnel that leads to the Shrieking Shack,'_ said Severus in Gilderoy's mind. _'This is where they'll be taking us to see the Dark Lord.'_

' _I think I'm going to throw up,'_ Gilderoy replied. _'Or faint – or both.'_

' _Well, don't,'_ said Severus.

' _How can you stay so calm, Severus?'_ Gilderoy whimpered.

' _Years and years of practise,'_ said Severus. _'Keep breathing. We're nearly there – and stay still.'_

Once they stopped moving, Severus caught glimpses of the night sky through the holes left by the broken roof tiles. It seemed that no matter what life he lived, he always somehow wound up back at this forsaken place, fighting for it.

'Is this him?' asked a familiar voice.

'It is,' Bellatrix answered, 'along with his little sidekick.'

The floorboards creaked as the familiar voice stepped into view. 'well well, we meet again, _Yaxley_ ,' said Severus with an air of boredom. 'Does the Dark Lord consider _you_ to be his most trustworthy servant now?'

'Gryffindor cockiness doesn't suit you, mister Snape,' Yaxley responded disapprovingly. 'And yes, I am his most trusted servant – ready to deliver the one thing he wants most.'

'Shouldn't Cissy here get all the credit though?' said Severus, cocking his head in her direction. 'I mean, I slipped between the Dark Lord's fingers more than once, and yet, she's the one who managed to catch me.'

Yaxley shook his head. 'I don't have time for this nonsense, mister Snape. The Dark Lord wishes to speak with you.'

The ropes that were bound around Severus' body loosened up and tied his hands together, causing him to fall onto the floor with a harsh blow. He managed to push himself up with his knees and looked up at Yaxley, towering over him. 'Where is he?' he asked. 'I want him to look me in the eye when he intends to kill me.'

Yaxley stepped aside, revealing the Dark Lord sitting on the musty old couch Peter had often pulled butterbeers from. 'Heard your followers were having a hard time inside the castle,' said Severus casually.

A rare smile formed on Voldemort's face. 'One by one, they'll drop like flies, mister Snape. First, it will be the students. Then the teachers will soon follow. After that, we kill everyone at the Ministry who still dares disobeying my orders. And at last, I will turn to your family, and drown the thing that you love most in this world.'

Severus's eye involuntarily twitched. The very thought of Julia being drowned by the hands of the Dark Lord caused his heart to ache. He could feel the Dark Lord trying to enter his mind, so heavily as if he were knocking with a battering-ram on his front door. 'There's nothing hidden inside my mind for you to see,' said Severus.

'Your home, Snape,' said Voldemort. 'It is your home I want, along with all its earthly possessions that the Flamels left behind.'

'If it's the manuscripts on the creation of the Philosopher's Stone you want,' said Severus, 'I fear I must disappoint your efforts. They have been burned to ash on Nicolas Flamel's orders.'

The rare smile swiftly vanished from the Dark Lord's face and turned his gaze towards Narcissa. 'I see you've brought the sword, Narcissa,' he said.

'And I brought you the diadem, my lord,' Bellatrix added, and presented the diadem to him as if she served it on a silver platter, 'and the boy's wand,' which she tossed into a corner of the room.

'Come here, both of you,' said Voldemort as he made a gesture with his hand to the sisters. As they stepped forward, he kissed them both on the top of their hands. 'You will be rewarded, greatly – after I've dealt with him.'

'Thank you, my lord,' said Narcissa stiffly as she handed the sword to him.

'How does it feel, mister Snape,' said Voldemort, 'knowing that you've been defeated – once and for all.'

'Took you long enough,' Severus answered with a huff. From the corner of his eye, he could see Peter moving quietly among the shadows, making his way towards the place Bellatrix had tossed his wand. 'How do you intend on killing me? Slowly torture me? Use the Killing Curse one me? I'd really like to know.'

'The choice is yours,' said Voldemort as he got up from the couch, holding on to the diadem as if it were his most valuable possession. 'Consider it a final act of mercy.'

Severus could see Peter trying to haul the wand across the floor as quietly as he could. So far, no one had caught sight of it, as they were too focussed on him. 'I'd rather leave this world without too much of a hassle.'

'Very well,' said Voldemort as he opened his arms in an accepting manner. 'Any last words?'

'Yes,' said Severus. He could feel that Peter was crawling up his jeans and place his wand between his fingertips. Peter started gnawing on the ropes that bound his hands, trying to release him.

' _Roy, can you hear me?'_ Severus whispered into Gilderoy's mind.

' _Yes,'_ said Gilderoy.

' _Can you move?'_ Severus asked.

' _I believe I can,'_ Gilderoy responded.

' _The diadem is just within reach for you,'_ said Severus hastily. _'I will undo the jinx they cast on you, and then I need you to grab it as soon as I say my final words.'_

' _Got it,'_ said Gilderoy.

Severus looked up at the Dark Lord, and grinned. 'I'm sorry for the mess.'

With a mere flick of his wand, Severus blasted the ropes that bound Gilderoy's body away. Gilderoy rolled over and reached out for the diadem while Severus jumped to pull the sword out of the Dark Lord's hands.

It all happened very fast. Severus was able to pry the sword out of the Dark Lord's hands and swung it around to prevent Bellatrix attacking from behind. She screamed as the tip of the sword scraped her arm, leaving a nasty gash that bled heavily down to the tips of her fingers.

At the same time, Gilderoy had managed to take a hold of the diadem. From the diadem, echoes of a hollow voice could be heard, screaming and demanding to be given back. Yaxley shot a curse in Gilderoy's direction and missed as Gilderoy sprawled out on the floor.

'Bombarda!' yelled Severus. With a harsh blow, Yaxley was catapulted through a broken window and landed far away in the snow. With an elegant flick of his wrist he shoved the sword across the floor in Gilderoy's direction. 'Destroy it! NOW!'

Without thinking twice, Gilderoy wielded the sword and clashed against the sapphire the adorned the diadem. It looked as if the diadem collected all its energy within a split second, and exploded louder than any bomb Severus had ever heard. It shattered into a million blue and silver pieces, blasting everyone away in different directions.

Severus and Gilderoy were thrown hard against the wall by the sheer force of it. The screaming that came from the diadem lingered, causing them to cover their ears as well as they could. Bellatrix and Narcissa flew out of the windows, and Peter was nowhere to be seen. Neither was the Dark Lord, who seemed to have vanished into thin air.

Smoke started to rise. The old rotting wood that formed the structure of the shack had caught on fire. 'Roy, take the sword and run back to the castle!'

Gilderoy, still weak in his knees, did as he was told and jumped through the window. Severus could only hope neither Narcissa nor Bellatrix would get a hold of him again. 'Peter!' he yelled. 'Peter where are you!?'

Severus looked around frantically. The smoke made it harder and harder for him to see. It took nearly a minute until he found Peter, unconscious and still in his rat form, hiding under the couch. Quickly he stuffed Peter in his pocket and blasted his way through the wall, causing the construction of the shack to collapse.

There was no sign of Gilderoy, but Severus did find Narcissa hovering over her sister in the snow. 'What happened to her?' she asked as she looked up at Severus. Tears were streaming down her face, and her hands were covered in blood.

'The sword is laced with basilisk venom,' said Severus. 'I'm sorry, Narcissa, but there is nothing you can do.'

'Please,' said Narcissa, beggingly. 'Please, do something.'

'I can't,' said Severus, shaking his head. 'Only phoenix tears can help her now, and the only phoenix I knew left after Dumbledore died.'

Bellatrix laid in the snow, unmoving. 'I hope…I made him…proud,' said Bellatrix with a quivering voice. 'I'm sorry, Cissy. I'm…sorry.'

The little light, dark as it was, left Bellatrix' eyes. Narcissa cradled her sister's body, crying like a wounded animal. 'Bella…no, please don't leave me, please…'

'Narcissa, you need to go,' said Severus, trying to speak with a voice of reason. 'This war isn't over while the Dark Lord is still out there.'

'No,' Narcissa whimpered. 'No. I can't leave her. I can't…'

Strange as it was, Severus looked at the scene in front of him, and was briefly reminded when he had found Lily's body at her home in Godric's Hollow. He had howled in pain in the same way that Narcissa was now grieving over her sister. 'I am aware that you don't believe in the Dark Lord's teachings,' he said calmly, 'or at least not all of it. Narcissa, this is your only chance of escape. Take it.'

Narcissa turned away from her sister's body and looked Severus straight in the eye. 'End this. Please, put an end to this madness.'

'I can only try,' said Severus truthfully. 'Make your way through Hogsmeade, cross the railroad and head into the mountains. I suspect they won't come looking for you there.'

Narcissa nodded in understanding and casted a levitation charm on her sister. 'The things we do for love,' she said as she started walking. 'Now go, Severus. Go.'

Severus watched Narcissa disappear into the shadows with her sister's body floating in front of her. It had been him that had wielded the sword that grazed Bellatrix's arm, and yet Narcissa had seen no fault in him.

'Peter, are you alive?' said Severus as he patted gently against his pocket. A soft and weak sounding squeak came through. 'Glad to hear that,' he said as he rushed his way back up to the castle. 'You saved us all, Peter. But this story isn't over yet. There's one more thing that's left for us to finish, and I hope you'll be ready when it happens.'

A loud blow could be heard as the remainder of the roof of the Shrieking Shack collapsed, spreading its ashes into the wind. A place that had tormented Severus's nightmares for so long was burning down the ground, never to be seen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N If anyone wants to hear the entire poem by William Blake recited by a man whose voice sounds like a love marriage between Alan Rickman and Christopher Lee's, I recommend looking up "Lullaby" by Loreena McKennitt on YouTube. It is beautifully dark.


	245. The End III

The only sound Severus could hear was the crisp snow underneath his boots as me marched his way back to the castle. As soon as he turned around a corner, the Dark Mark that was hovering above the castle came into view.

Riddle's diary had been destroyed by Evan. Hufflepuff's cup by Frank. Ravenclaw's diadem had now been destroyed by Gilderoy – and the Gaunt's ring by Severus himself. There was only one Horcrux left. The one that was still dangling from the Dark Lord's neck. Slytherin's locket.

'Expecto Patronum.' The silver doe sprouted from the tip of is wand. 'I need you to find Lily for me.' The doe bowed her head in understanding and sprinted off towards the castle.

The castle lay in ruins. The whole of Ravenclaw tower had crumbled down, and the stained-glass windows from the Great Hall had shattered into smithereens. Severus had nearly reached the oaken doors of the grand entrance when his Patronus came prancing back, followed by another doe. ' _Sev, you can find me in the dungeons_ ,' Lily's voice echoed through the doe's mouth.

With his wand stretched out protectively in front of him, he made his way back inside the castle. His heart felt heavy as he stepped over the lifeless limbs of students and Death Eaters that were strewn across the floor. The Great Hall had been transformed into a hospital ward. Anyone still capable of giving care were helping those who were screaming and fighting for their lives.

'Severus,' he heard a weakened voice say. He saw madam Pomfrey, along with Professor McGonagall, desperately trying to mend the wounds of the man that was sprawled out on the floor.

'Severus.'

Severus dropped down to his knees and looked Professor Slughorn in the eye. 'Professor,' he muttered as he held his hand.

'I'm slipping away,' said Slughorn. His voice sounded hollow.

'There is no need for fear, professor,' said Severus reassuringly.

'I know,' said Slughorn. The tension in the grip from his hand was ebbing away. 'I know because – I can see her. My wife. She´s there – waiting for me.'

The faintest of smiles appeared on Slughorn's face as he drew his final breath. 'Took good care of Pip for me,' said Severus as he placed Slughorn's hand on his chest.

'I will, Severus,' said Slughorn. 'I promise.'

The light vanished from Slughorn's pale green eyes. 'Oh, Horace,' madam Pomfrey whimpered.

'You did everything you could, Poppy,' said McGonagall as she patted madam Pomfrey on the back, and closed Slughorn's eyes with her fingers. 'Mister Snape, this fight isn't over yet.'

With a pang, Severus was pulled back to reality. 'I have good reason to believe the Dark Lord is inside the school,' he said as he looked McGonagall in the eye.

McGonagall pushed herself up and clenched a fist around her wand. 'I'll come with you, mister Snape,' she said, her voice filled with determination. 'Follow me.'

Severus started running toward the dungeons following closely behind Professor McGonagall, who was running faster than he had anticipated, given her age.

As they ran, they ran past several more people who had died in combat. Death Eaters, Aurors – a young Hufflepuff student. Among them Severus noticed a familiar pair of eyes and stopped dead in his tracks. 'Catriona!' he cried out and slumped down to his knees. Her throat appeared to have been cut open, leaving a large pool of blood on the floor beside her. She still felt warm to the touch.

'Mister Sn – Severus,' said McGonagall firmly. 'There's no time for this. We need to keep moving.'

'Damocles needs to know,' said Severus as he stood up, feeling weak in the knees. They turned the corner in the direction of the old Potions classroom, where he caught a glimpse of unmistakable red curls fighting alongside Fleamont Potter against a Death Eater Severus did not recognise.

'Bombarda!' yelled Severus. The Death Eater was blasted straight into the Potions classroom, shattering every phial that filled the shelves along the wall.

'Sev!' Lily cried as she wrapped her arms around him. She looked exhausted, but otherwise unharmed. 'Thank Merlin you're alright!'

'It's not over Lily,' said Severus as he planted a kiss on her forehead. 'Roy and I found the Horcrux and it's been destroyed. Have you seen him?'

'I haven't,' said Lily. 'What's the matter?'

'He still got the Sword of Gryffindor,' said Severus. 'We still need it to destroy the last Horcrux.'

'I think I've seen him,' said Fleamont. 'I saw him with Damocles a little further down the hall.'

'Then take us!' said Severus.

Along the way, they encountered Frank and Alice. Frank was nursing what had to be a broken wrist, and Alice kept clutching her side as if she had several broken several ribs.

For years and years, Severus had appreciated the cold and dampness that the dungeons of Hogwarts provided. Now, he cursed it. The many corridors formed into a maze. Several times they had to take another turn because a corridor had caved in, giving them the feeling that they were walking around in circles.

'Lily!'

'Roy, is that you?' Lily cried.

Out from one of the old storage rooms, the heads of Gilderoy and Damocles appeared. 'We were looking for cover,' said Gilderoy. 'I didn't want anyone to find the sword.'

'Good thinking Roy,' said Lily as she pulled him into an embrace. 'Have you seen any of our other friends?'

As Lily fell into a conversation with Gilderoy, Damocles spoke up. 'Has anyone seen Catriona?' he asked. 'I lost her as soon as we entered the dungeons.'

'She's gone, Damocles.' It was McGonagall who spoke. 'I'm sorry.'

The silence that followed cut like a knife. 'Where is she?' he sputtered eventually. 'Where can I find her?'

'Near the dungeon's entrance,' said McGonagall. 'Go, if you must.' Without hesitation, Damocles ran out of the room and disappeared.

'Where do we go from here?' said Severus in order to break the tension.

'The Slytherin common room would be my best bet,' said Fleamont. 'Anyone know how to get in?'

'I don't know this year's password,' said Severus gravely, 'but I've got a hunch.'

It appeared Fleamont was right. A large group of students, including Remus and Sirius, had gathered around the portrait that led to the Slytherin common room. Hagrid kept banging on the portrait in the hopes that it would open, but the portrait appeared to be hermetically sealed off.

'We've been trying to pry it open for some time now,' said Remus. 'No spell or password seems to work.'

'Pureblood,' said Severus to the serpent portrait. The serpent remained unmoved.

'Well that failed miserably,' said Sirius.

'Dumbledore,' said Severus.

The serpent hissed but remained unmoved.

'Hey, has anyone seen Evan and Emma?' asked Lily.

'Tis the reason we're tryin' te get in,' said Hagrid. 'They were dragged in here by some Death Eaters.'

'Jugson and Selwyn,' said a random young Slytherin. 'Oh what – just because I know who they are doesn't mean I don't want this horror to end!'

'Did you recognise any other Death Eaters who entered?' asked Severus.

'Pretty much all of them,' the young Slytherin replied. 'That portrait doesn't want us to use some password either. Bet it wants us to speak Parseltongue instead.'

'If that is true,' said Severus, feeling that his worst fear had just been confirmed, 'it would mean that the Dark Lord is down here too.'

'Sev,' said Lily, 'you have spoken Perseltongue before, haven't you?'

'Only when Riddle's diary possessed me,' Severus answered with a shrug. 'It's not as if I can –'

'AAAAAAAAAAGHH!' Severus was interrupted by a piercing scream coming from the other side of the portrait.

'I think that was Emma,' said Lily, shocked. 'Sev, you've got to try! Voldemort marked you as his equal, remember? He wants you to find him!'

It had been a long time since the diary had taken him down to the Chamber of Secrets. Riddle hadn't just possessed him. He had also written down the words that he needed to say in order to open the Chamber. Severus closed his eyes, trying to remember what the words had been. 'Hagrid, please step aside. I think I know what it is that I need to say. Everyone else, have your wands raised. This is going to get ugly.'

Severus produced a rather terribly imitated hissing noise from the back of his throat. The serpent in the portrait hissed back and slithered away. 'He's going to inform his master of our arrival. Roy, keep the sword out of sight. I'll go first.'

The portrait door swung open. Slowly, Severus stepped through it and walked down the marble steps into the common room. The room was crowded with Death Eaters. Evan had been pushed against a wall by two strong Death Eaters while Emma was lying down at the Dark Lord's feet, bleeding.

'There were once four great wizards who defied death,' said Voldemort, speaking to his entire audience. The locket of Salazar Slytherin exposed at his breast. 'Three of them, must falter. Two of them are still left standing – and one must die tonight, for neither can live while the other survives.'

'What have you done to her?' said Severus sharply.

'You mean little miss Vanity here?' said Voldemort while touching her cheek with his foot, causing her to whimper in fear. 'She's defiling the great House of Slytherin with her mere presence I'm afraid. A mudblood, daring to roam between these walls.'

'Times change, Riddle,' said Severus. 'Most of your followers aren't purebloods. They couldn't be. _You_ aren't even a pureblood, and the fact that you're a direct descendant of Slytherin will never change the fact that it was a Muggle man who fathered you!'

Voldemort's eyes turned to slits. 'You and I both know a thing or two about Muggle fathers, _Snape_ ,' he spat.

'It is within our choices that show us who we truly are,' said Severus, remembering Dumbledore. 'It is a fact that I must accept, for I cannot chance it.' He looked around the room. No doubt the Dark Lord was aware of the small army of students and teachers waiting impatiently on the other side of the portrait, but he was surrounded by Death Eaters now. All it took was one Death Eater to shoot the Killing Curse at him, and all would be over. The battle would be lost.

'I've outsmarted you again and again, Riddle,' Severus continued. 'You keep forgetting that one doesn't have to be big and powerful to make a lasting impact.' Something inside had pocket had started to stir, and he knew Peter had caught on to his words. 'You are nothing more than a cult leader that brainwashes people into believing that blood purity _means_ something. It doesn't, Riddle. It doesn't mean shit! Wizards would've gone extinct if it hadn't been for wizards marrying Muggles. We thrive because of our coexistence.'

It was clear that the Dark Lord was having enough of his speech. 'Enough! Or this mudblood friend of yours will never see the light of day again! _Crucio_!'

Emma cried out an ear-piercing scream. 'Let her go!' Evan pleaded as he tried to break free.

'You're a disgrace to the name of Rosier,' Voldemort spat. ' _Crucio_!' He hit Emma again, causing her to nearly lose consciousness.

'Ouch!' cried one of the Death Eaters that was pinning Evan against the wall. 'A bloody rat just bit my finger!'

Evan took it as his cue. He managed to wriggle himself loose and whipped out his wand. ' _Depulso_!' he cried as he rotated his wand around in his hand. Every single Death Eater present was blasted into a different direction.

' _Avada Kadavra_!'

Evan duck behind one of the Death Eaters that had pushed against the wall just in time, hitting him square in the chest instead. It was in that moment that everyone who had been waiting behind the portrait came running in.

It was then that many things happened at the same moment. Disarming spells were flying around as Severus turned to the Dark Lord. ' _Avada Kadavra_!'

" _You already know, professor. You taught it to me, in my second year."_

' _Expelliarmus_!'

The ground started to shake as a beam of red light met with green. The very core of Severus's wand started to tremble at the sheer force of the curse it was being hit with. In front of him, Evan had rolled over the floor to drag Emma away from the scene. Behind him, a Death Eater had managed to pry the Sword of Gryffindor from Gilderoy's hands.

' _Diffindo_!' Sirius slashed the hand of the Death Eater that had stolen the Sword. ' _Move aside Severus_!'

As soon as Sirius came into view, Severus broke the connection by jumping aside. Sirius came running up at the Dark Lord with the Sword held high above his head. 'This one's for my brother!' he yelled. With a harsh blow, he pierced the tip of the Sword straight through the locket and into Voldemort's heart.

Voldemort fell backwards with his arms splayed. The locket released one final howling screech, causing the windows that separated the common room from the Great Lake to crack.

'RUN!' yelled McGonagall.

Everyone ran their way up to the portrait hole as fast as they could. Water started leaking through the cracks, and a split second later the windows came crushing down, engulfing everything in water.

Severus took Lily by the hand and dragged her away from the waves that flooded down the corridors. They were down to the last corridor that led to the entrance hall when the water had reached them above eye-level, pushing them up against the ceiling. Lily took the lead by holding up her wand and waved at the rest to follow her orders.

A blue light sprouted from the tip of her wand and propelled her through the water all way down to the end of the hall. She pushed Severus out of the water and flung herself beside him, gasping for breath.

They waited until everyone had recollected inside the entrance hall. 'It's done, Sev,' said Lily as she turned to him. 'It's really over.'

'It really is,' Severus mumbled back as he looked at everyone who were flying into each other's arms, celebrating. 'This is it. This is the end.'

... ... ...

'A seaman's grave,' said Erwin. 'That's what us Muggles would've called it.'

Severus and Lily had retold everything to Erwin and Arnica in their living room at the Kingfisher. 'I suppose,' said Severus absentmindedly while cuddling with Julia, who was fast asleep in his arms.

'what's going to happen next?' asked Arnica.

'Professor McGonagall is taking care of everything,' said Lily who was stroking Severus's hair in a reassuring manner. 'For now, all we need is rest.'

'We'll leave you to it then,' said Arnica as she got up and kissed Severus and Lily on the head. 'Send us an owl if you need anything.'

As soon as Erwin and Arnica had left, Severus turned to Lily. 'This isn't really this end,' he said. 'Not really.'

'What do you mean, Sev?'

Severus contemplated his words for a while. 'It means that, from this point forward, everything in my life – this life, will be a brand-new beginning.'

Lily kissed him passionately on his lips. 'To a new beginning, Sev.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I wanted Voldemort's end to be inside Slytherin's common room for several reasons. The first reason being that his obsession around his heritage held its foundations there. The second because of Perenelle Flamel's words to Severus back in chapter 143. Slytherin is synonymous to water as Gryffindor is to fire (and Hufflepuff to Earth and Ravenclaw to Air). It was through water that Severus came back to his old life in the first chapter, and I wanted water to be the way for Voldemort to end.  
> A/N Tempting as it was for having Severus dealing the final blow, it felt righter to have Sirius be the one to do it in order to avenge his brother. Regulus may have died again this time around, but least Sirius will get to live knowing his brother died a hero rather than a traitor.


	246. Sunday the 1st of September, 1991

It was a crisp autumn morning when the family arrived at King's Cross station. Three carts were filled to the brim with trunks, quidditch supplies, guitars and – what caught most of the Muggle's eyes at least – owls.

'Hurry up, Rosemary!' Julia snapped. 'The train's about to leave and I'd like to get a compartment closest to the lady with the sweets and chocolate trolley!'

'Yes, I know!' Rosemary snapped back at her sister. 'And all you really want is to start inventing new pranks with Bronwyn and the Weasley twins,' she growled.

'And you just want to start studying with _Percy_ ,' said Julia mockingly. 'Together, all alone, in some private com –'

'—Alright girls that's enough!' said Lily sharply to both of her daughters. 'Has anyone seen the Weasleys yet? Oh, there's Molly, waiting for us by the barrier.'

'Hello darlings!' said Molly as she pulled each member of the Snape family into a tight embrace. 'Harry, how are you feeling about going to Hogwarts for the first time?'

Harry shrugged. 'I doubt I'll be sorted in Slytherin, like my sisters,' said Harry.

'If you're anything like your mother – and you definitely are, you'll be sorted into Gryffindor,' said Molly with a hint of pride only a true Gryffindor could muster. 'Just like Ron will be, no doubt about that. Now, Arthur's already on the other side with the children. As are the Longbottoms with their son.'

Making sure they weren't attracting too much attention from any Muggles, Molly ushered the family through the barrier one by one until all of them had regrouped on the other side.

There, the soot covered steam train to Hogsmeade had already arrived. It didn't take long before Julia and Rosemary had discovered some of their friends among the crowd and disappeared from sight.

Lily had fallen into a conversation with Frank and Alice and waved at Ron and Neville, who had already found themselves a compartment and had taken a seat by the window.

'Dad,' said Harry, 'there's something I need to get off my chest.'

Severus knelt in front of Harry to meet him at eye level. Although all three of his children had inherited most of Severus's features, including his dark hair, Harry was the only one who had inherited his mother's bright green eyes. 'What is it, son.'

'What if I'm not sorted into Slytherin, like my sisters?' Harry blurted out.

Severus smiled. 'Harry James Snape,' he said, 'I think your mother would be very proud to have at least one other Gryffindor in the family. Also, you were named after two very important Gryffindors to us, but that shouldn't stop you from being sorted into Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff – for you are also very smart, and very kind. In the end, it doesn't really matter. I was once told by old headmaster Dumbledore that he believed that sometimes the sorting happens too soon. Your House at school will not determine who you become later in life – nor should it.'

'That's true,' said Harry, and looked as if a small weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 'But dad, _I still don't have a wand._ Mister Ollivander has been sending me wands to try out throughout the entire summer, and still hasn't found the right one for me. _My lessons already start tomorrow._ '

Severus looked into Harry's eyes, and suddenly came to a realisation that hadn't occurred to him before. From the inner pocket of his leather jacket he pulled out his own wand and handed it over. 'How does that feel?' he asked.

'It feels…natural,' said Harry as he gave it a wave, causing some celebratory sparks to fly out. 'But it's your wand, dad. I can't take this from you.'

'It was never really meant to be mine,' said Severus as he glanced over Harry's shoulder. He noticed the Malfoys ushering their son Draco into a compartment, and right beside them, he saw a very confused looking Muggle family. 'It's yours to take – and yes, I'll get a new one for myself later today, on one condition. Turn around for me.'

Harry turned around, trying to see what his father was looking at. 'You see that bushy haired girl over there?' asked Severus.

'Yes,' said Harry, confused. 'What about her?'

'Her name is Hermione Granger,' said Severus. 'She's a Muggle-born, and this is her first year at Hogwarts. She will be sorted into Gryffindor.'

Harry looked at his father with a tilted eye. 'Is this one of your strange predictions again?'

'Yes indeed,' said Severus. 'You know I'll explain you all about it when you're old enough. I have a feeling that you, and Ron and Neville over there, are going to need her – just as much as she will need you. I know that she may be a tad difficult, but I need you to try and be kind to her. To be her friend.'

'I suppose it can't hurt to try,' said Harry. 'I'll ask if she wants to sit with us on the train. Anything else?'

'Yes. If you find that your sisters have stolen some of my old band shirts again, please send them back to me.'

At that, Harry laughed. 'I will, and thanks dad, for the wand.'

Severus pulled his son into a tight embrace. 'I love you,' he said softly.

'I love you too dad,' said Harry, returning the favour. 'I think Ron and Neville are waiting for me.'

Lily joined Severus as all three of their children boarded the train. 'Say hello to professor Lupin and his son Teddy for us!' said Lily as she waved at them, and got a little teary-eyed at the sight of all the children in their lives, pressing their faces against the window. 'I love you all.'

'We love you too mum and dad!' said Rosemary. 'We'll be home for Christmas before you know it!'

The chimney on the train started to rumble and its wheels started to move. 'Take good care of your brother!' Lily yelled.

'Always!' Julia yelled back while ripping open her denim jacket, revealing one of Severus's old AC/DC shirts. 'Can't catch me know can you dad! Haha!'

Severus and Lily continued to wave until the train turned around a corner and disappeared from sight. 'What on earth have we put on this planet,' said Severus, still shaking his head at Julia's trick. 'I should've known.'

Lily nudged him in the shoulder. 'It's not her fault for looking so much like you. But now the nest is empty, Sev. What are we going to do?'

'First, we are going to pay Ollivanders a visit,' said Severus. 'I need to buy myself a new wand. And after that, I'm going to try to talk you out of spawning a fourth. Three children ought to be enough – not to mention all the others that are hanging around at our home all the time.'

'True, and we still got little Ginny, for now,' said Lily. 'Are you ready to go?'

'Yes,' said Severus. 'I do believe it's time to go.'

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I named Rosemary "Rosemary" for two reasons. The "Rose" part for the sake of sticking to the theme of flower related names in the Evans' family, and "Mary" in honour of their friend Mary MacDonald. I thought long and hard about whether I wanted to name their youngest child Harry James, but decided that it was the best way for the story to come full circle and tie in with the original works and philosophy of Rowling. In a way, Harry now has returned, James has been honoured, and yes, he will be sorted into Gryffindor.


	247. Saturday the 2nd of May, 1998

_"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field._   
_I'll meet you there._

_When the soul lies down in that grass,_  
 _the world is to full to talk about."_  
\- Rumi

* * *

Severus was leaning against Perenelle's gravestone, accompanied by Paul and Leo by his feet. He had his hands clasped around the Pensieve. It was a calm and beautiful spring evening. The moon and stars could be seen in the clear night sky. A warm breeze rustled the young leaves of the trees, and the sound of the running river made everything feel serene.

Sirius, Fleamont and Damocles had just left the house, talking business with him and Lily as usual. The Kingfisher Brewery had managed to build up quite a reputation over the years of its existence. Though not the largest supplier of Potions by a long shot, they sold throughout Great Britain and beyond, leaving the family with more than enough to live comfortably.

'Sev, what are you doing out here?' asked Lily as she walked up to him.

Severus looked up at Lily, and smiled. 'Through the hassle of living, I somehow forgot that today marks a very special day for me.'

Lily sat down on the grass beside him and looked at the Pensieve Severus was holding. 'Why do I have the feeling that I should know what special day it is?'

'You should,' Severus teased, 'but I forgive you. Today is the second of May, in the year of nineteen ninety-eight. It was the day of my death in my former life.'

'Woah,' said Lily, 'that is a very special day indeed. What's changed?'

Severus thought long and hard about her question. 'More grey hairs,' he finally answered. 'I never had any grey hairs, but now I do, and I will attribute and blame that on my wife and three children, since I never had those in my previous life.'

Lily made a noise that sounded like a mixture between a chuckle and a snort. 'Who would've thought that maintaining a family is harder than spying and lying to Voldemort. But, Sev,' she said in a more serious tone, 'how are you feeling?'

'A bit strange,' said Severus with a shrug. 'For years, even though everything is different this time around, I somehow always felt like I knew what was about to come. But from this day forward, there can be no more predictions and expectations to hold on to. I don't know what's going to happen from here.'

Lily wrapped an arm around his shoulders. 'It's wide open,' she said while planting a kiss on his cheek. 'Why did you bring out the Pensieve?'

'I wanted to look through the memories of my former life one last time,' said Severus. 'And after that, I plan on releasing them – forever.'

'I think that is very wise of you, Sev,' said Lily. 'Where do you plan on releasing your memories?'

'I haven't decided,' said Severus. 'Will you walk through my memories with me?'

'I appreciate the offer,' said Lily, 'but I think this is something that you have to go do on your own. Only you can let it go – for you. I'm going to head back inside, brew some tea, and then I'll bake you a pie so we can celebrate your dying day.'

'Thank you,' said Severus. He watched Lily head back inside the house and turned his attention to the Pensieve once she closed the door behind her. One by one, he pulled the memories of his first life from his mind and placed them inside the centre of the dish. Once he was certain there were no more memories left, he swirled the memories around with the tip of his wand. Image after image floated to the surface. The first time he saw Harry Potter, of him teaching Potion lessons, of crying inside Sirius's old bedroom in Grimmauld Place, of watching Dumbledore tumble down from the top of the Astronomy Tower. Being bitten by Nagini inside the Shrieking Shack, not wanting to be saved.

He looked at all the images that rose up and disappeared underneath the surface again. A sly grin formed on his face, having decided what to do with it. With a finger he tilted the Pensieve, causing the silvery-white substance to pour over the edge of the dish. A trail of memories travelled down to the edge of the riverbank. One by one, the memories dripped down into the water. Once the last memory had left the Pensieve, they clustered together, taking on the shape of a little goldfish, living freely in the river. It was time to let it go.


	248. A FINAL AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Please don't forget chapter 249 after this one!
> 
> * If you've read the story and loved it, please, drop a comment and/or spread the story for others to enjoy. I want to hear all your opinions, your critical views, and especially, what made you love it so much.

" _ **Words are in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic."  
\- Albus Dumbledore**_

I started writing Severus Snape and the Art of War some time back in late 2015/early 2016 (I don't quite remember). At the time my life had punched me into a slur, and I held several jobs to just, as they say, keep my head above the surface. Delivering newspapers was one of those jobs, which meant that I had to wake up at 4AM every day, six days a week, to have papers delivered in the neighbourhood by 6AM. I came home at 6AM on the dot, opened my laptop, and started to write for an hour straight. It's how I managed to post one chapter a day, always roughly 2k long, before the rest of the world woke up.

Never in my life had I imagined that the story would become as big as it has become. I dove into it with only one thing in mind; that I wanted to write the story that, so far, I had been unable to read on any fan fiction website. Because it broke my heart that Severus Snape never had any control over his own life in Rowling's world, it was very important to me to incorporate that aspect into this story. I wanted him to have control over his own choices, so that, this time around, he gets to have it all.

The biggest surprise (to me) about this story has been the butterfly effect. I did not intend on it to go this way, and yet it did. Sirius got to live, knowing his little brother died a hero. Frank and Alice now get to raise their son, as do Remus and Tonks. James got to fight and die a hero. Dumbledore and Grindelwald found peace together in the end. Even Peter found his proverbial courage and got to stand up against Voldemort. All of this, because Severus changed his attitude and ended up making different choices. If there is one thing that this story has taught me, is that our choices always have consequences in the long run.

The reason I named it "The Art of War" is because I had just finished reading Sun Tzu's – The Art of War. I wanted this story to pave the path for Severus to find his way back to Lily, but it's the War itself that ties this story together. It's not just about the magical War within the Wizarding World, but also the physical War that he had with his father, and about the mental War that he wagered against his own conscious. The internal battles were just as much a War as the external ones, and he needed the freedom of choice in order to conquer it.  
Another aspect that I tried very hard to incorporate were elements of all the seven books that Rowling wrote. The Philosopher's stone, the horcruxes, a (new) prophecy, the significance of stags and does, elements of the lore and the history before Harry (such as Scamander and Grindelwald), existing spells and potions, Voldemort's war, time-turners etcetera. She handed us a hell of a lot to work with, so I tried my absolute best to stick as close to the original world and with as little OCs and made-up information as possible.

I must admit that I don't like the first twenty chapters or so. When I started writing, I had a clear image in my mind of wanting Severus to have a proper father figure this time around. I had first settled on Slughorn, but as the story progressed, Erwin took over. For Severus to encounter Slughorn in the "in between" just doesn't make a lot of sense anymore. There are a lot of things I would've done differently, but alas, what can you do.

As I mentioned, I didn't expect the story to become as large as it has become. When I just started writing it I had expected it to be 50k at the most, but now that it has reached over half a million words, I can't help but want to smack myself in the face for spending all that time and energy into a piece of fan fiction, rather than focus on writing and publishing an actual novel of my own. One with my own story, and my own characters. To put it in perspective, the entire Harry Potter series (British Standard Edition) is 1,084,170 words long, and it took Rowling over a decade to reach that point. For anyone who has ever written a very large piece of fan fiction (or otherwise), will understand the struggle that I speak off.  
Knowing now what I'm capable of writing, I am going to be doing just that. Write my own novel – and getting it published. I think it's time to let my own work speak for itself.

If you've read this entire story – thank you. Thank you for all the time you took to read through my creation. Thank you for the comments, encouragement and constructive criticism. Thank you for enjoying a Snily, and for wanting to stick with Severus until the very end.

A special thank you to Animalium for encouraging me to finish the story after I no longer felt that it deserved my time.

Another special thank you to FancyWasMyName for reading through all my chapters and making the necessary corrections. My Dutch lion pride likes to pretend it can write English flawlessly, but sometimes it needs to be kicked down and be reminded that it doesn't. Thank you for being my beta reader.

And the greatest thank you of all to J.K. Rowling, who made my entire childhood magical. For making me stand in lines in the middle of the night once a new book came out. For releasing your 7th book while I was on holiday in Scotland. For allowing me to sit in the same chair you sat in at The Elephant House café in Edinburgh, where you wrote most of your first three novels. For making me the first person in my home country to see the 8th movie in premier. For teaching my dyslexic arse to enjoy reading and writing fantasy, and the greatest thank you of all, for making me fall in love with who I deem to be the greatest anti-hero of our time; Severus Snape.


	249. The Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N After receiving an inspiring message from Snily3838, asking me what happened to everyone else after the battle of Hogwarts, I decided to write a little prologue. Enjoy!

It was a perfect summer day. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and a cool breeze was sweeping in from the sea, making being outside in the hot summer sun a bit more bearable.

A very large group of people were making their way to the forest in silence. Erwin had just been buried at the Muggle cemetery in Ottery St. Catchpole, only a short walk removed from the Kingfisher potion brewery.

It had never been this crowded before at their home. Not even during their Handfasting many moons ago. It had been Arnica's wish that family and friends were to come together one last time to celebrate, rather than mourn, the passing of her beloved husband. The Snapes, the Evanses, the Lockharts, the Weasleys and all their children. Members of the old Order of the Phoenix, including the remaining members of the Young Order and their partners, had all gathered in the house and in the garden by the river at the Snape residence.

'How are you holding up, Arnica?' Severus asked.

'I'm quite alright, Severus,' she said as she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his shoulder. Her hair had turned a beautiful shade of white, making her look wiser than ever before. 'I could ask you the same.'

Severus had shed quite a few tears since the day he learnt of Erwin's passing. It felt as if he had lost a father – a real father – to the inevitable end of life. It was bittersweet, knowing that old age had finally caught up with him. He had died peacefully in his sleep. The greatest of all endings. 'He taught me what it means to be a man,' he said with a heavy heart. 'To be loyal. To be kind. To protect the ones you love. It feels as if I have some very big shoes to fill, and I will miss him deeply.'

'It's not easy, being a man,' said Arnica she ran her fingers through his hair. Large streaks of silver had started to replace the black over the years. 'There's a certain duty that calls within all men once their leaders fall. It is a heavy burden to carry on your shoulders – and you, my dear son-in-law, are strong – and capable.'

Severus planted a kiss on top of her head. 'Thank you for the courage,' he said as he wiped away a tear. 'I better go mingle with the rest of the guests.'

He found Evan and Emma, whom, with some pressure from their old friends, had finally found it within themselves to get engaged. After the fall of the Dark Lord they had travelled down to New-Zealand to find Emma's parents, only to decide to end up staying there rather than taking her parents back home. Charlie was with them as well, baring the unmistakable battle scars of working with dragons in Romania all over his body, and was firing questions at them about the native dragon of New-Zealand, the Antipodean Opaleye.

'Hi dad,' said Rosemary. She was sitting by the hearth, her curly black hair hanging dangerously close to the fire, and showed him what appeared to be a brand-new book. 'Uncle Gilderoy just handed me his latest biography.'

' _Wandering with Werewolves_ ,' said Severus as he read the title out loud. 'I haven't even finished reading _Voyages with Vampires_ yet.'

'Uncle Remus is mentioned in it too,' said Rosemary proudly. Severus smiled. Rosemary had adopted the habit of calling all of his old friends uncle or aunt. 'And you, of course, being the inventor of the wolfsbane potion along with mister Belby – as well as his late wife.'

'Oi! Can I see that?' said Edward as he snatched the book from Severus's hands. 'I knew my dad had been talking to Gilderoy, but I didn't know he was going to dedicate an entire book to his kind.'

'Your hair's turning green, Teddy,' said Rosemary. 'C'mon, we'll read it together.'

'Are you sure you're feeling alright, Rose?' asked Severus.

'I alright, dad,' she said with a nod. 'I'm mostly concerned about grandma. Have you seen Julia anywhere?'

Severus looked around the room but didn't catch a glimpse of his eldest daughter. 'I'll go look for her. If you need me, don't hesitate to come and find me, okay?'

'I will, I promise,' she said as she blew her father a kiss.

Near the kitchens, Severus found Gwendolyn and Petunia fussing over their son Dudley, whom they had adopted after the success of their grand opening of their art gallery up in Oxford. 'Have you seen the size of Alice?' Gwendolyn gossiped as she tried to straighten out Dudley's shirt. 'Expecting a second child so long after the – oh, hello Severus.'

'Let's just hope she won't accidentally give birth today,' Severus answered with a sly grin. 'How are you holding up, sis?'

'Surprisingly at peace,' Petunia answered. 'Either that or it hasn't really hit me yet that my father is truly gone. Have you seen my sister around?'

'She's probably with Julia,' said Severus. 'if I find her, I'll tell her that you're looking for her.'

'Thanks, little brother,' said Petunia as she pulled him into an embrace. 'You've grown into quite a handsome man over the years. I think I'm finally starting to understand what my sister saw in you all those years ago.'

'And here I am, thinking you were gay,' said Severus after he was released from her embrace. His remark caused Petunia to giggle. 'Oh, stop it, Severus,' she said while playfully slapping against his arm. 'Come on, Dudley. I want you to come and shake hands with mister Potter and mister Belby, okay?'

Severus watched Petunia's little family disappear into the crowd and turned to the kitchen, which appeared to be blocked by Sirius and Peter. 'I don't think it's a good idea to enter right now, mate,' said Sirius.

Sirius had been his and Lily's business partner ever since their creation of the Greasy Git Motor Oil. Peter had come later, desperately in need of a job after the Dark Lord's fall. Peter had proven himself to be worthy though, being surprisingly good at the marketing side of the business. A side neither him not Lily would ever have been any good at.

'Why not?' said Severus as he tried to peak over Sirius's shoulder. 'I just want to grab the lunch Harry and Ginny have prepared and – oh.'

'Don't say we didn't warn you,' said Peter apologetically.

Severus had caught a glimpse of Harry snogging it up with Ginny against the kitchen counter, the lunch laying forgotten, and swiftly looked away.

'How long has this been going on?' he mumbled under his breath, wondering what on earth he was supposed to think now that his son was snogging it up with the youngest Weasley.

'Now that's something between him and his godfather,' said Sirius as he pointed as his own chest.

'Don't you think he's a little too young for –'

'—Oh hush.' It was Peter who cut him off. 'They both just graduated from Hogwarts. You can't expect him to stay little forever, can you?'

'Hey, has anyone seen Harry and –'

'—Not right now, Ron,' said Severus as he gently pushed Ron in a different direction. 'Tell Neville, Victoire and Hermione he'll be with you shortly.'

'Alright then,' said Ron while shrugging it off. 'Oh hey, Fred. I got some ideas for Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Want to hear them?'

'Just make sure it doesn't turn into anything more than this, alright,' said Severus as he waved it off. 'Have any of you seen my wife?'

'She just went upstairs,' said Peter. 'Julia wasn't looking too well.'

Severus made his way upstairs and caught sight of Lily busying herself in the bathroom, wetting up a towel under the sink's tap. 'Just follow me,' she ordered.

He followed Lily to Julia's old bedroom. Julia had been travelling around the world ever since she had graduated from Hogwarts, occasionally spending a few weeks at home before settling on a new destination. She had spent most of her time in Asia, learning about the eastern philosophy on potions in India, and even took some classes at the Mahoutokoro wizarding school in Japan.

Her thin frame was hunched over a cauldron, which she was stirring a little too vigorously. Her long black hair fell like a curtain over her face, and Severus was painfully reminded of himself when he would brew potions whenever he was in distress. 'Julia,' he said as he sat down on the floor beside her. 'Please, look at me.'

'Here,' said Lily as she handed Severus the towel, and joined them on the floor.

Julia looked up and shoved her hair aside, revealing a tear-streaked face. 'I don't feel so good, dad,' she said, her voice trembling.

'You haven't been well for quite some time now,' said Severus while gently wiping her face with the towel. 'Is it grandpa, or is it something else?'

Julia pointed at her cauldron. 'I'm making moonshine firewhisky. The kind grandpa really liked.'

Both Severus and Lily snickered at the sight of the moonshine. By the time Julia had turned sixteen she had reached her peak at being a rebellious teenager, and had managed to brew all sorts of illegal liquor while distributing it around Hogwarts. Headmaster McGonagall had not been pleased. 'Then I suppose we'll have to hand some out to our guests later, said Severus. 'Why do I have the feeling that there's more going on beneath the surface?'

'Sorry, I already told mum when you weren't here,' said Julia. She inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled through her nose, trying to calm herself down.

Severus's eyes shifted from Julia to Lily's. Lily, whose fine laugh lines around her eyes crinkled upwards as her eyes met his. She had grown to love the lines around her eyes, as it marked the passing of time to her surrounded by love. 'It'll be alright, Sev,' she whispered softly.

'Dad,' said Julia, her voice trembling. Severus looked into her dark eyes, staring back into his own. 'I'm pregnant.'


End file.
